How to Influence People:

Get the Most with Least Effort

“There is nothing that is a more certain sign

of insanity than to do the same thing over

and over and expect the results to be

different.”

Albert Einstein

Andrew Chow a.k.a Ideasandrew Founded

Ideamart (S) Pte Ltd since 1994 . Ideas & Concepts since 2002

Table For Six since 2008

Education

Thames Valley University, UK

Membership

SACEOS member 2004

Business Awards

STB Business Award – Most Innovative Marketing Initiative award 2007

Spirit of Enterprise 2008

Successful Entrepreneur 2010

Certification

NLP Practitioner

Certified Life Coach

Forte

PR Strategic Counsel, Implementation & Monitoring

Social Networking / Social Media Strategy

Brand Management Consultancy

Personal Branding

Professional Affiliation

Approved NCSS Training Provider

WDA ACTA-certified

Andrew Chow a.k.a

Ideasandrew Social Networking

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By the end of this course you will be able to:

Influence others positively in the direction of your

choice

What is This

Course About?

The Ultimate

Strategy

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Maintain the correct mentality with long term strategic thinking when interacting with others

Positive Attitude

Priority: know what you need to do first

• Need to know before influencing people

Proactive:

• Need to believe that you are responsible for the outcome, so you can correctly think about potential solutions.

If something doesn’t go well, it’s not somebody else’s fault, it’s your fault. You need to think about it and fix it

It pushes you to think of solutions, rather than blame.

Think Long Term

What is the best long term strategy when

dealing with people?

Cooperate?

Don’t

Cooperate?

Think Win/Win

Make sure that the other guy wins too!

• There is no such thing as “Nothing for

something”

Cant get win/win from other means such

as lose/win or win/lose. Need, Courage

Integrity

Abundance mentality

How to Get Anyone to Do

Anything?

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Sequence your statements efficiently to get maximum

effect

Logic

• Making a factual reasoning to convince someone by using a logical step-by-step reasoning. Concept

• “There are two reasons why this idea won’t work. We have tried a prototype version before and the results showed that the product is too expensive to produce. The second reason is...”

Example

• Use it when you want to influence people’s decisions by logic.

When to use

• Weak reasoning without the correct facts can backfire. It is much harder to influence people if you do not have evidence for your argument.

Backfire

Logic

Logic

• Suggesting what may happen as opposed to fact-based reasoning. This appeals to emotions more than logic.

Concept

• “Imagine when we have created a large client base all over UK, we can start our aggressive advertisement campaign and show the world what we are capable of...”

Example

• Use it when it is difficult to present the argument with facts and evidence. It is also useful when getting players emotionally involved in the subject.

When to use

• The actual delivery of inspirational speeches is critical. You need to be passionate and attempt to raise the emotions.

Backfire

Inspiration

Logic

• Asking a number of questions where the answers will lead the other person to draw his own conclusions.

Concept

• ... Example

• This is used against someone who is more powerful than you. This is very effective since the other person feels responsible and actually part of the reasoning process.

When to use

• This tactic is particularly hard to use since it is difficult to know the answers in advance. You need to be careful that the questions are not too broad (as to become irrelevant) and not too narrow (so that the other person can see where you are going).

Backfire

Participation

Example

• You: “Do you use a computer on a daily basis?”

• Her: “Yes, I do.”

• You: “You must produce a lot of data then?”

• Her: “Yes.”

• You: “I suppose you can’t afford to lose this data.”

• Her: “No. It would be a disaster if I lose the data. It’s years of research, reports, emails and so on.”

• You: “So it is quite important to have a separate copy of this data in case you lose the originals.”

• Her: “Absolutely. I guess I need a system to take care of this.”

• You: “Can I suggest a number of backup systems. They are quite cheap these days.”

• Her: “Sure, go ahead.”

Logic

• Making someone feel good about themselves and start listening to you.

Concept

• “You did very well in the last project. I know I can count on you next time. I am sure we will be able to produce something truly great in our next project. ”

Example

• Used when you want to influence people with similar or less power.

When to use

• If used in an obvious way, it has a reverse effect. They can see that you are just saying this to make them do something for you. Don’t use against people more powerful than you.

Backfire

Uplift

Logic

• Offering something to someone in return for something.

Concept

• “If you order by the end of the week, we can bundle an extra feature for you.”

Example

• This tactic is used when you want something and you do not mind giving something in return. Leads to relationship building.

When to use

• It is important to make a fair deal, or at least make it appear to be. Be careful with how much you offer. If you offer too much, you may look like a naive deal maker.

Backfire

Deal

Logic

• Asking for something you want. Concept

• “Can you do me a favour please? It would mean a lot to me if you could pop out to post this urgent mail.”

Example

• This is powerful only if the other person cares about you. Use in moderation.

When to use

• The other person may expect you to return the favour. If you do not return the favour, others could become more hesitant to help you in the future.

Backfire

Favour

Logic

• Using view of other people to influence someone.

Concept

• “Everyone in the market is upgrading their system to comply with the new standard. We don't want to be left out.”

Example

• This is especially effective if what you state is in line with the view of the person you are influencing.

When to use

• Some people prefer to go against the crowd and want to be different. Your argument might have the reverse effect in this case.

Backfire

Collective

Logic

• Showing your power based on a certain principle or rule.

Concept

• “Let me be clear about this. It is a requirement that your services must pass the agency’s quality guidelines or we will not accept your product.”

Example

• Authority is effective as a quick response to a problem. It is very blunt and sometimes provocative. It is better to use Policy as a last resort.

When to use

• This can lead to a reverse outcome when used on certain people. They may choose to do exactly the opposite of what you want them to do, precisely because you tried to exercise authority over them.

Backfire

Policy

Logic

• Exercising power. Concept

• “If you do not comply, I have no choice but to report you!”

Example

• Use only in emergencies. When to

use

• Since this is a powerful influencing tactic and is effective in bringing short-term results, it can be very tempting to use. It can have negative effect on your relationship, even when the event has passed.

Backfire

Force

Rules

Use from soft to hard

Questions are better used

before others.

Favour and Deal are more

effective after other

tactics have been

employed.

Policy and Force are best

left for emergency only.

Logic

Inspiration

Participation

Uplift

Deal

Favour

Collective

Policy

Force

• “We are going to become the supplier of choice in this industry. Everybody will be talking about us. Of course the team behind this great product would get a lot of publicity when we get there. That can’t be bad!”

Inspiration

• “To get there we need to go through three phases as you know well. There is a lot of work ahead of us and the whole team needs to be behind it with all they can offer if we want to become the best. Don’t you agree?”

Logic

• “Everyone in the team is willing to sacrifice certain privileges in life for a short while, like working over time, so that we can stay on schedule. Everyone is committed and they are all working really hard.”

Collective

• “If we put the effort in, we will all succeed. We all get a share of the pie. But if we fail, no one gets anything. It’s your call. Are you in or out?”

Deal

• “Teamwork is about fairness. It is not fair on others to work hard when some don’t put as much effort. If we see that your team doesn’t function as it should, we have no choice but to remove you from it.”

Policy

• “If you don’t get your act together, you are out!”

Force

Given a Case:

• Write a number of influence statements starting from those that you think are more effective. Follow with more statements if your original statements where ignored.

TEA BREAK

How to Have the Highest EFFECT

on Anyone?

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Show your understanding when communicating with others and open up the

conversation

What is Psychological Air?

A person in need of air won’t

think of anything else!

“Satisfied needs do not motivate.”

Stephen Covey

Seek First to Understand and Then

to be Understood

When communicating with others,

• Put aside your autobiography

• Don't evaluate or judge before you listen

Use empathic conversation: rephrase their statement by your own words based on logic

and emotion

What is the best way to show that you understand someone when you are in a conversation with them?

Reflect and Rephrase

“Your clients make your life difficult.”

Rephrase

“You think that clients waste your time.”

Mimic

“You’ve had it. You think clients don’t know what they want.”

“Oh, I have had it. Clients just don’t know what they want!”

HiTech Company: “We are getting lots of customer complaints that the laptop repairs are taking too long to complete. The laptops are in transit all the time.”

Delivery Company: “You can use our fast delivery option. This is very popular with our customers.”

HiTech: “But then this will increase the cost of repair significantly and we don’t have much margin.”

Delivery: “Well, we are the best delivery company and you wont get anything better from someone else”

Hi Tech; “Even if we use the special delivery, the laptops still need to be sent from customer, to your warehouse, to our test centre, back to your warehouse and then back to the customer. It takes too long.”

Delivery; “Ok, why don’t you use our morning deliver service to send parcels before 8:00am. That will solve your problem…”

Hi Tech Company: “We are getting lots of customer complaints that the laptop repairs are taking too long to complete. The laptops are in transit all the time.”

Delivery Company: “You have many customers complaining about delayed repairs.”

HiTech: “The laptops are sitting in transit more than they are in the repair centre.”

Delivery: “You feel the delay caused in transit is upsetting your customers. ”

HiTech: “I wish we could find a way to cut out all this transit time.”

Delivery: “You want to reduce the travel time of laptops, as if they never leave the warehouse. ”

Hi Tech: “Ah, exactly, why should we get them shipped to our test centre, when the repair can actually take place in your warehouse …”

Improved

PRACTICAL: Empathy

“I am fed up with these reports. They

never finish.”

“My clients are way too demanding. No

matter what I do for them, they always

want more.”

“My boss doesn’t understand me at all. He

doesn’t take my ideas seriously until they

are suggested by someone else months

later.”

Influence

Principles By the end of this session

you will be able to:

Use the 6 universal principles of influence and

learn how to counteract them

Principle 1: Reciprocation

How do you feel when someone gives

you sample cubed cheese in a

supermarket?

What is the best way to initiate a

relationship?

How to use concessions?

Counter Attack!

Philosophy: Use Jujitsu

Question: “Is this a typical favour or is it one

offered as a step toward a bigger request

that will come later?”

Principle 2: Scarcity

We hate to lose freedom we already have

What is Psychological Reactance?

“Now we are going to share with you the results of research that has not been published yet ...”

Less Opportunities

Less Freedom

Exclusive, limited offer ends soon

Counter Attack!

Two step process:

• Q1: “Do I feel far more emotional about the

lack of this thing than I should?”

• Q2: “Would this function just the same even

if it wasn't scarce?”

Principle 3: Authority

“I am the boss, do as I say!”

“Your cambelt is wearing out, and may die

soon. You should replace it, otherwise if it

goes it can damage many things and repair

will be costly!”

Counter Attack!

Two step process:

• Q1: “Is this authority truly an expert?”

• Q2: “In this particular occasion, can I expect

this person to be truthful?”

Principle 4: Social Proof

What do you do if you see someone lying

on the street, head down, while everyone

passes by?

Counter Attack!

Situation dependant:

When social evidence has been falsified.

• “Does what I am about to do make any sense, other than following what others are doing?”

When following each other

• “Have I checked the status, because even if no one tries to sabotage it, it can go wrong on its own?”

Principle 5: Consistency

People live up to what they write down

I went through hell to get this, so it must

be good.

• If it costs an arm and a leg, then it must be

worth it.

Counter Attack!

Two Signals:

Use your gut feeling:

• “Am I trapped into complying with a request I

don't want to accept?”

Probe heart of hearts:

• “Knowing what I know now, if I go back in

time, would I make the same choice?”

Principle 6: Liking

How can you increase your liking?

Similarities Complements

Cooperative

Efforts

Counter Attack!

“Do I like this person more than I should

given the circumstances?”

What do you take home with you? The

product or the salesman?

The Future

Increasing Complexity

Increasing Shortcuts Increasing

Exploitation

LUNCH

BREAK

How to Give

Feedback?

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Deliver your potentially negative message and get

a good response

Feedback Types

There are only two types:

Positive Constructive

Asking the Right Questions

Why are you always late?

4-Step Feedback

• Timing

• Place

Prepare Scene

• Don’t blame

• Don’t generalise

• Avoid arguments

Give Specific Feedback

• Ask questions, wait for answers

• Let them own the problem

• Open questions Pause

• They can own the solution

• Observe that they have understood the problem and the solution by listening

Work on Solution

Situation

• Your colleague is always very loud in meetings and pretty much dominates the conversation. The quality of meetings has gone down and as a result people are starting to avoid going to meetings with him. You want him to correct his behaviour.

Situation

• You have a team member who is argumentative. He wants to prove to everyone that he has the best ideas and is not receptive to others inputs and ideas. This means his debates with team members take longer to resolve and is a waste of time. How do you approach and resolve this?

How to Balance

World View?

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Encourage or discourage anyone strongly in the

direction of your choice

Question

Suppose your client is agitated and nervous about an idea. You want to make them feel better. What would you do?

The Three Parameters

• You feel that the situation will not change. Permanent

• You believe that the problem is more significant than it really is.

Critical

• You think that it will affect everything else in your life. All-consuming

Example

• Your colleague is removed from a team because she wasn't a good fit. You want to comfort her. What would you say?

“Look, it's not as bad as you think. You will be more useful and appreciated elsewhere.”

“You can always go back to the team at a later stage when they truly need your expertise.”

“This means that you can now go and join another team. This time your talent will be put to good use and you get to work with different people.”

Situation

• Your client was expecting to receive a bespoke component from you that they wanted to use in a prototype model due for demonstration in an exhibition tomorrow. There has been a postal strike and they have not received the parcel. Your client thinks this is a disaster, that they are going to miss a great opportunity and that they will never recover from this.

How to

Encourage?

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Use a simple technique to reinforce behaviour of

team members

Why don't we praise?

Because we think they

should have done it

correctly anyway and so

they should already know

We may somehow think it

undermines us to praise

We don't want to make

the other person feel

embarrassed

5-Step Praise

Warm up

Praise specifically

Describe the impact

Reinforce Identity

Congratulate

Example

• You know we had this client coming over to visit us last week Warm up

• You were very professional in getting him around to the meeting room and making him feel comfortable. I am very glad that you made sure he was welcome.

Praise Specifically

• The meeting went very well. Part of that was because he was impressed with our hospitality and wanted to do business with us.

Impact

• …and of course you were the critical person who made him feel at home here. First impressions count a lot and you delivered.

Reinforce Identity

• Thanks very much. I am very impressed with your work. Congratulate

Situation

• You are a team leader and you want to praise a member of your team who has been very creative in meetings with the customer and has managed to impress them so much with his technical ability that they want to work more with your company.

Story 1

• You had an important report delivery yesterday but you had lots of issues with MS Word which played up when you were formatting the document. Your colleague came to rescue you as she realised you were getting stressed and needed help, she even had to stay late to help you out. You want to thank her so that she knows her efforts were not a waste.

Story 2

• A member of your team usually comes unprepared to meetings and keeps on chatting a lot about topics that are not related to the meeting's agenda. You have mentioned this before to him and in the last meeting he brought with him some related reports and tried to talk about those only. You want to praise him so that this behaviour is reinforced.

TEA BREAK

How to Say

No?

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Say No and be lover for it!

Saying No

Why saying NO is difficult

• Disappoint

• Appear incompetent

• Cause offence

Why saying NO is sometimes good (yes, always saying NO is not good)

• Focus on your goals

• Boost your confidence and self-esteem

• Be in control of your time

• Don’t get pushed around

• Build up your reputation

How to Say No & be Loved for it

Situation

Request

• You are in the middle of doing some critical work on a project. A colleague approaches you and asks, “Can you do me a favour. I need a hand to finish this report delivery for ASD Technologies today.”

Direct NO

Provide Reasons

Sympathy

Offer Alternatives

Provide Reasons

Sympathy

Offer Alternatives

No, I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you much because I have a critical piece of work to do which customer is expecting ASAP and I am told to finish it off as soon as possible. I have cleared my schedule for everything today to focus on this instead.

Sorry about this. I understand that you

need to get this done.

Let me think. Perhaps Paul can give you

a hand on this. I know he finished a big

job a couple of days ago, so he might be

free now.

Indirect NO

Expand Policy Alternative Context

Warm up

Check

How to

Request?

By the end of this session you will be able to:

Phrase your sentences efficiently when selling a

product or an idea

Sales Technique

Requesting is a delicate activity

Use sales and marketing technique

• Because it works!

Elegant solution when communicating

• Writing an email

• Writing a report

• Street sale

• Sales call

• Approaching someone in a conference

To get someone’s attention: • Give a clear and concise statement

Ask • “Do you want to double your team’s efficiency at

work?”

Offer • “You will pay half the normal price for this gadget.”

Statement • “This area will be going through a lot of

redevelopment shortly and so its future looks very positive.”

• Attention A

Persuade by offering more details

Expand

Let them know that its worthwhile carrying on with the conversation.

“There has been some major new development in improving communication between team members. 95% of our clients increased their team building significantly using this method.”

“This product doesn’t just do X for you, let me show you a whole lot of other things you can do with it …”

• Information I

Create desire to get him do what you

want him to do

Make it so desirable that he wont think of

alternatives

• Desire D

• “We will beat anyone else’s price, guaranteed.” Give him an incentive

• “We have many long-term clients who literally don’t want to deal with our competitors, because they know the quality of our service and that they can’t get it anywhere else.”

Show that you are credible

• “We will make sure that your case will be processed as soon as possible, or your money back.”

Demonstrate that you will be minimising his risk if he listens to

your case

• “We can help you to outsource some of the product manufacturing process so that you can focus on the design. We know that’s where your passion is.”

Show how you may help him

• “Five years down the road, everyone will be using this technology. Imagine when people start to notice it when you already have 5 years of experience in this field.”

Show what the future may look like for him

Easiest task

Don’t be vague. Tell him exactly what you want.

Use time pressure

“This offer expires in one week.”

“If you don’t act now, we may not be able to offer it to you again on these attractive terms.”

“In order to take advantage of this opportunity, all you need to do is to give us a call and we will take care of the rest. We will do all the hard work, that’s what we are here for.”

• Action A

“I” can be Information or Interest

Information and action are focused more

Appeal to emotion and desire

Logic is useful (in fact essential) but is not

the only way we make decisions

A

• Attention

I

• Information

D

• Desire

A

• Action

• This is the highest selling book of the month on Amazon. Attention

• It is a book on motivation, self-analysis and life’s achievements written by an author who was diagnosed with cancer and given 6 month to live and that was many month ago. He is a university professor who gave a lecture entitled “The last lecture” as part of a tradition in a university to see what would you say if you only had one last lecture to give.

Information

• This time, it was for real. He was actually giving his last lecture and everyone wanted to know what he is going to say. Imagine, the man is going to die and has been given one chance to say what he wants to the world. What is the essence of success? How does it feel to look back at life knowing that it is going to end soon? I am sure everyone is interested. Who wouldn’t be? The lecture became so successful that he got an offer to write a book, and the result was this book selling on Amazon as No 1.

Desire

• As you can see, it is on high demand. You can easily buy it from Amazon as new or as second hand. Here is the link.

Action

Practical

Write a Letter

• Your company has produced a new grater called ‘BlastCut’ which you believe is going to revolutionise the grating industry. The product has passed the appropriate tests and is ready to be released to the market. Your aim is get John Lewis to stock your product and sell it. If you get John Lewis to stock it, you can also get the other retailers to stock it as well. You have been told that the first step is to write a brief letter to John Lewis describing your product.

• What would you write?

Reinforce Learning

What did you learn today?

How are you going to use it?

Which area would you like to expand on? • 9 Influence techniques

• Empathy

• Influence Principles

• Feedback

• Change View & Boost

• Encourage / Praise

• Say No

• AIDA