Date post: | 24-May-2015 |
Category: |
Business |
Upload: | gordianbusiness |
View: | 163 times |
Download: | 1 times |
How to persuade your parents or
guardiansIn a productive way
Need to persuade a parent or guardian to let you …• Have a later curfew?• Increase your weekly
allowance?• Allow you to invite some
friends over?• First car?• IPhone?• Job?• Really, really, really want to
go to that concert?
Did you know:57% of people talk to people more online than they do in real life…
but persuasion works best face-to-face…So for the best results don’t try to persuade over Facebook or text message, or even on the phone.The first step in persuading your parents and teachers is to do it face to face, a novel idea but it works.
So you’ve thought about what you want, but to persuade someone you need to start by thinking about what they want…• What do they
think is important?• What do they
want you to do or stop doing?• What do they
like and dislike?
Show your passion but also let them see you have thought through the issue.
Scenario:You’re in year 10, starting year 11 and getting ready for a busy year…
You want your parents/guardian to agree to fund 50% of buying a car for you to drive to school during the last 2 years at school and for your part-time job.
1. Organise the family meeting• Help make dinner, wash up and make everyone a coffee.
(Why? Because people are more likely to say yes after you give them something.)• Then say: “I would like to discuss an idea I have with you
about buying a second hand car.” I have developed 3 possible options and would like your opinion and advice. (Most people, particularly parents, like to give their opinions.)• Ask: “Is Tuesday or Thursday night the best evening for this
discussion?” (Parents like to be in control)• Remain silent until they decide. Don’t give any information
away until the meeting.
2. Be creativeThinking creatively will increase your success.
Create OptionsTry and create 3 options
Agree to babysittingAdditional 3 hours homework on SundayStay off facebook weeknights between 3-7pm
QuestionsBefore the meeting prepare good questions
Under what circumstances would you agree to ..?What are your reasons for that?
After asking the questions, don’t interrupt, listen to their answer – it may contain clues to help you persuade them.
2. Be creative
TimeA common key to unlocking a deadlock
Try for a short time then reviewDo something in one long session, or many short sessionsChange curfew once a month or only school holidays
TradingWhat tasks do you not enjoy but your parents/guardians want you to do? “If you… then I will…”
“If you help me buy a car, then I will babysit three times a month, keep my bedroom tidy and study for 3 hours on Sunday night.”
Try new things and expand your skills.
3. Prepare in detail• Gather all relevant information
before the meeting.
• Research and identify what your parents/guardians want you to consider.
• Find evidence to support your argument (NRMA & AAA website for running costs etc.)
• Remember what has worked/not worked for you in the past
• Don’t compare yourself to your friends and their parents – this is an easy argument to say NO to.
Ask yourself 4 questions:
1. What do they think now?
2. What do I want them to think?
3. What do they do now?
4. What do I want them to do?
4. Listen actively at the meetingListen attentively to all the information presented to you. Respond carefully – remember you are trying to get them to think differently and not make a hasty decision.
The key is to ask questions and not make heavy demands.
If you don’t agree, say “Help me understand more about your ideas?” Let them explain, summarise and ask ‘Have I understood you correctly?” Continue until they agree with your summary.The other person will not listen until you convince them you have listened to their argument.
4. Listen actively at the meeting
Summarise what they are saying … “I understand that you want me to catch buses. From the three options I have presented which one works best for you?”
This shows you understand their position and provides an opportunity to address their concerns.
Avoid this killer phrase, “I want …!”
Summarising until they say yes increases your chances of persuasion!
5. Focus on solutions
Look for ways to get your parents/guardians to agree on one of your prepared three options.
Don’t get stuck defending your position – focus on how you want to achieve your solution.
Remember the result you want – be prepared to consider other ways of getting it.
In exchange for staying out until 11pm, you might be asked to text once an hour after 9pm.
Yes, this is embarrassing but they are giving you what you want, so consider it carefully. It might not be your chosen solution, but it is a solution.
To persuade for results follow Nelson Mandela’s example:
“The time for the healing of wounds has come. The moment to bridge the chasms that divide us has come. The time to build is upon us.”
To connect with the audience emotionally, he crafted the content of his message carefully. He filled his speech with vivid and emotive language. This created a sense of intimacy, anticipation and passion.
6. Manage emotions
Emotion infuses everything we doincluding thinking and decision-making
Questions to focus you on the emotional aspect of persuasion are:• What emotions will help me achieve
my purpose?• Which ones should I avoid?• How can I stimulate the right
feelings in my parent/guardian?
If the discussion becomes emotional, there is a good chance they will say NO
If Dad says “I used to ride a bike to school and work every day.”
Don’t reply “Dad get a life, we are talking about me and this century.”
7. What if they still say NO?
When young people try to persuade their parents/guardians to do something different, little work is put into coming up with possibilities and too much is put into demands.Most parents/guardians will be impressed when you have prepared, developed options and worked through better ideas.
If after all your careful planning and calm discussion your parents/guardians still say no, accept their decision. Say you are disappointed, but respect their decision and hopefully they’ll reconsider soon.
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.Arnold H. Glasow