Curious kids (and adults!) with a funny bone will enjoy these

faith-stirring, often laugh-out-loud poems inspired by the Bible.

Marty Nystrom does it again! In this collection of lively, clever poems, he brings kids face-to-face with the joyful, rollicking story of God.

Steven James, award-winning storyteller and author of

The Creative Storytelling Guide for Children’s Ministry

A brilliant combination of picture words, rhyme, and Scripture to whet a child’s curiosity for more of the Bible.

Kids will see the New Testament from their own unique perspective.

Frank and Betsy Hernandez, songwriters, Music Machine and

Bullfrogs and Butterflies

780784 7219339Ages 6 & up020474310

ISBN 978-0-7847-2193-3

RELIGION / Christian Ministry / Children

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Published by Standard Publishing, Cincinnati, Ohiowww.standardpub.com

Text Copyright © 2010 by Marty NystromIllustrations Copyright © 2010 by Steve Björkman

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in reviews, without the written permission of the publisher.

Printed in: ChinaProject editor: Diane StortzJacket and interior design: The DesignWorks Group, Jason Gabbert

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked NIV are taken from the holy bible, new international version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

The “NIV” and “New International Version” trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica. Use of either trademark requires the permission of Biblica.

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Oreos® is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods, Inc., which is not affiliated with Standard Publishing.Hawaiian Punch® is a registered trademark of Dr Pepper/Seven Up, Inc., which is not affiliated with Standard Publishing.

ISBN 978-0-7847-2193-3

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Nystrom, Marty. Zack, you’re acting zany! : playful poems and riveting rhymes / Marty Nystrom ; illustrated by Steve Björkman. p. cm. Includes index. ISBN 978-0-7847-2193-3 (casebound with jacket) 1. Bible--Juvenile poetry. 2. Children’s poetry, American. 3. Humorous poetry, American. I. Björkman, Steve. II. Title. PS3614.Y7Z33 2010 811'.6--dc22 2009037634

16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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To my sons, Nathan and Benjamin.

For the wild and crazy Schulz family!

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Gospel Singers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0

Charades . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1

O Miss Mary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2

Johnny Jump Up . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4

Donkey Work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6

Swaddling Clothes . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8

Humble Beginnings . . . . . . . . . . 1 9

Stable Talk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 0

Wise Men? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 3

Christmas Play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 4

Open Invitation . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 6

Herod’s Gone a-Huntin’ . . . . . . 2 7

God Became a Baby Boy . . . . . .2 8

The Carpenter’s Son . . . . . . . . . 3 1

Amazing! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 2

Lost and Found . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3 3

Locusts for Lunch . . . . . . . . . . . .3 5

Announcers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 7

Nicodemus’s Dilemma . . . . . . . .3 8

Titanic Catch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3 9

Fisher of Men . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 0

Up on the Housetop . . . . . . . . . 4 2

Twelve Ordinary Guys . . . . . . . .4 4

Mountaintop Experience . . . . . .4 6

Miss Giver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 7

Salt of the Earth . . . . . . . . . . . . .49

Night-Light . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 0

Make a Decision . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 2

Proud Pray-er . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 4

Safekeeping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 5

Bird Food . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 6

First Things First . . . . . . . . . . . .5 8

Joe Judgmental . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 0

Speck-tator . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 2

Snake Sandwich . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 3

Which Way? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 4

Sham Lamb . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 5

Card Castle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 6

Hog Haven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 8

Be Still . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

Head Count . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 2

Free Lunch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73

I Pity Poor Ol’ Peter . . . . . . . . . . 74

Bread of Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

Saliva Salve . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78

Hotdog Seeds? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 9

Role Reversal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80

Baad Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

Counting Sheep . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 4

Math Problem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 5

Good Sam . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 6

Martha’s Complaint . . . . . . . . . .8 8

Knock, Knock . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 0

The Pharisees Are Phurious . . . 9 2

Bird’s-Eye View. . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 3

King Klifford. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 4

Flower Show . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 6

Lunch Line . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 8

Celestial Celebration . . . . . . . . .9 9

Loft Teef . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 0

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Pig Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 2

Party Pooper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 4

The Father’s Heart . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 5

Double Header . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 6

Feelings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 7

Raising a Stink . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 8

Child Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 0

Needlework . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 2

True Believer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 3

Zack, You’re Acting Zany! . . . 1 1 4

Blind Faith. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 6

Pony on Parade . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 7

Rock’s Role . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 8

Clearance Sale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 0

All of Me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 2

Plink, Plink . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 3

Use It or Lose It . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 4

Reminders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 6

Dried Flowers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 8

Fig Twig . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 0

Dream Team . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 1

Jesus Got Arrested? . . . . . . . . . 1 3 3

Early Bird . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 4

Royal Treatment? . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 6

Golgotha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 7

Open Arms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 3 8

Good Friday? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 0

Rolling Stone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 1

He’s Alive! He’s Alive! . . . . . . 1 4 2

Page-Turner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 4

Home to Heaven . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 5

The Holy Spirit Comes . . . . . . 1 4 6

Better Than Silver or Gold . . . 1 4 8

Wake-Up Call . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 0

B-B-But L-Lord . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 2

The Great Escape . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 3

Jailhouse Rock . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 4

Dead Tired . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 6

Peter and Paul . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 7

Mixed Blessing . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 9

Strong Attachment . . . . . . . . . 1 6 0

God’s House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 2

Body Functions . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 4

The Eagle, the Beagle, and

the Seagull . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 5

Grace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 6

Fruit Bowl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 8

Extended Family . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 9

Wilma Worrisome . . . . . . . . . . . 1 70

Can-Do Attitude . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 2

Every Day’s Thanksgiving. . . . 1 74

A Good Example . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 5

Bodyguards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 76

My Conscience . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 7

Tough to Tame . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 78

Dull Roar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 1

Squeaky Clean . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 2

Never Too Old . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 3

Lukewarm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 5

No Comparison . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 6

On Monday I Was Moody . . . . 1 8 8

Subject Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 9 0

Scripture Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 9 1

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Thank you to my writing group for your encouragement and ex-

pertise: Judy Bodmer, Thorn Ford, Betsy Hernandez, Peg Kehle,

Kathy Kohler, Kate Lloyd, and Paul Malm. Thanks also to Geoff

and Lynn Lyon for hosting us every Thursday morning at The

Lyon’s Den.

Thank you to our home group, especially leaders Bill and Mar-

lene Brubaker, for your constant and visionary prayer support.

Thank you to the Murfitt family for your priceless friendship and

for allowing me to share some of Gabe’s story.

Thank you, Diane Stortz and Standard Publishing, for your pur-

suit of excellence.

Thanks to my parents, Don and Elajean Nystrom, and to seven

of the funniest people I know, my siblings: Maribeth, David,

Donela, Lynne, Julie, Sarah, and Lisa.

Thanks, Nate and Ben. It’s been a blast watching you grow up.

Thanks always to my beautiful wife, Jeanne. Your sense of humor

refreshes many.

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I was an elementary school teacher. The kids in my class loved it

when I read funny poetry aloud. Their response was always, “Read

another one, Mr. Nystrom! Please!” Many of these crazy poems

had valuable lessons woven into their rhyme and humor. Laughter

and learning worked hand in hand.

Jesus was a captivating storyteller. His colorful parables grabbed

the attention of his listeners and taught important truths. Some of

his tales had a comical predicament or a surprise ending. He even

exaggerated sometimes to get his point across. He talked about a

man with a log in his eye and a camel squeezing through the hole

in a needle.

Jesus met a lot of amusing characters too. You don’t have to

look hard to find funny situations in the New Testament!

I hope this book will make you laugh and want to

look into God’s wonderful Word yourself to

learn more!

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Matthew sings the tenor part.Mark’s on melody.Luke belts out the baritone,and John sings bass with glee.

We sing about the good newsof One you won’t forget.We’re Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John—the original gospel quartet!

1110

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Poor ol’ Zachariah!He cannot speak a word.He’s trying hard to tell uswhat he saw and what he heard.He flaps his armslike outstretched wings—it really looks absurd!Why’s the guy so tongue-tiedjust because he saw a bird?

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What did Zachariah see and hear?

Find out in Luke 1.

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O Miss Mary,it must have been so scarywhen the angeljust appeared outside your door.

O Miss Mary,it had to be quite eerie—for no angelever visited before.

O Miss Mary,did it seem imaginaryas you trembled on your kneesdown on the floor?

O Miss Mary,weren’t you sort of warywhen he told youeverything God had in store?

13

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O Miss Mary,it must have been so scarywhen the angeljust appeared outside your door.

O Miss Mary,it had to be quite eerie—for no angelever visited before.

O Miss Mary,did it seem imaginaryas you trembled on your kneesdown on the floor?

O Miss Mary,weren’t you sort of warywhen he told youeverything God had in store?

O Miss Mary,it’s so extraordinary—you said yes to the messagethat he bore.

O Miss Mary,the baby that you carry

is the promised Onewe’ve all been waiting for!

13

What did Mary tell the angel?

Look in Luke 1:38.

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