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Hypnosis : 40 noVEMBER 2013 tRancE : 5

Hypnotique 40Years

For Private CirCulation only

HypnotiQUE ciRcLE - onE MoRE MiLEstonE

Hypnotique Circle presented a two day training program on “Transactional Analysis and Life Skills” for 50 final year MBA students of Hindustan University on 27th and 28th Oct 2013.

Ms Swarna, Ms Ananthi Karthic, Ms Rajanisree, Mr Arun Kumar, Major V V Narayanan, Mr Muthiah Ramanathan and Mr V Karthik have made presentations on all aspects of TA. The verbal and the written feedback received from the students were excellent. We are delighted to inform you that all the Faculty have happily decided to donate the Faculty fee of Rs 16,000 to the Hypnotique Circle.

Many more good things are in the offing !

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tHe Hypnotique circle madras

40Years

Block S-27 C, Rainbow Flats, Ponnambalam Salai, K K Nagar, Chennai 78

President Vice President Vice President MUtHiaH RaManatHan Dr t M pERUMaL Dr c n RaMGopaL 93810-34310 93810-65016 94442-90841

Secretary Joint Secretary Joint Secretary Treasurer MaJoR V V naRayanan R.GopaLaKRisHnan G.GanEsan U M BaFna 91500-00615 98844-81760 98401-29523 98415-34999

9 siGns it’s tiME FoR a cHanGE By Marc chernoff

It’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of it. It’s up to you, so make the best of it. Do things that startle you. Feel things you’ve never felt before. Spend time with people who help you grow. Live a life you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, have the courage to make a change. You know it’s time for a change when…

1. Fear is holding you back. – Realize that fear is the worst of it; fear is your real enemy. So get up, get out in the stormy weather of the real world, and kick fear as hard as you can right in the teeth. Do so by staring at it dead in the eyes and then walking right through it into the storm. Let the rain kiss your skin. That’s the first step. Because a wet man doesn’t fear the rain anymore.

2. You catch yourself feeding the negative. – There is always a fierce battle between two hungry forces going on inside you. One is negative – anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, and hatred. The other is positive – love, joy, peace, hope, compassion, kindness, and truth. The force that wins is the one you feed the most.

-3-3. Your mind is everywhere except right here, right now. – Some

people believe the past is endless, the future is endless, and the present is a moment. But the truth is, the past is a moment, the future is a moment, and the present is endless. Make sure you’re living in it and making the most of this present moment we call life.

4. You feel pressured to be someone other than yourself. – Some people will simply not like it when you are being yourself. They will always be more comfortable with the person they imagined you to be. So when they disapprove of you, ignore them. Because what makes you happy supersedes what they think will make you happy. Do not disown your truth. Do not fear your originality. Do not live in their opinions. Decide that you matter and that there is nothing wrong with just being YOU.

-4-5. You feel like you’re competing against everyone else. – You

are in competition with no one other than yourself. You are running your own race. You have no need to play the game of being better than anyone in any way, shape, or form. Just aim to improve – to be better than you were yesterday. This is the mindset that will set you free.

6. A relationship is making you miserable. – You can’t change all the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around. No relationship is worth being miserable over. Sometimes you just have to erase the messages, delete the numbers, and move on. You don’t have to forget who they once were, but you do have to accept that they aren’t the same person anymore.

7. You feel bored. – Don’t say you’re bored; it’s a useless thing to say. You live in a vast world that you’ve seen only a small fraction of. And even the inside of your own mind is endless – it literally goes on forever to depths you’ve never explored. Do you understand? The fact that you are alive is amazing, so you don’t really have the right to be bored. If you are, you know it’s time to make a change.

8. You’ve been resisting change. – Change isn’t part of the process, it is the process. The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent. Therefore, avoid overzealous elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity. In time, both will change.

9. Other people are writing your story for you. – Your life is a story, and you are the protagonist. Everyone, and I mean everyone else, is a side character. Your parents, your boss, and every stranger on the street are all just side characters. Now, how much do they affect the story? Well, side characters can be great, but they only exist to help you move

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the story along. So if you make a mistake, feel awkward or embarrassed, don’t get too stressed out. Laugh it off, you’re the protagonist. No other character has the power to stress you out unless you let them. This is just a friendly reminder to help you get unstuck and move your story along. Again, this is YOUR STORY. Live it the way you want to live it, and don’t let anyone else write the ending for you.

tEn tips to HELp yoU sMiLE

A few famous quotes and powerful thoughts on living the happiest, most fulfilling life possible…

1. Living and speaking your truth “Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical;

don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessionmercilessly.” - Franz Kafka

The second most courageous thing you can do is to think for yourself. The number one most courageous thing you can do is to think for yourself out loud, especially when others try to suppress your thoughts with their own. When you speak freely, some people will become irritated, put you down, and walk away. You may lose those few. But you after a short time you’ll realize that you don’t even miss these people; because new people will show up in your life who cherish your opinions and respect your thoughts. Remember that your silence will not save you; it will haunt you for an eternity. Stand strong. Think for yourself. Speak your truth.

2. perfectionism “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.” -Leo Tolstoy Every one of us is a perfectionist about something. Learn to

sense when your desire to make something perfect is preventing you from getting it done. Realize it is not only unachievable, it can also destroy your otherwise productive mindset. Think about the

-6-difference between diligent effort and perfectionism. Say it out loud if you must: “Get lost perfectionism! Without you I am brilliant!”

3. spending time with positive people “An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior

personality.” - Brian Tracy Some people will be critical of you regardless of what you do or

how well you do it. They somehow assume you don’t have what it takes, but they are dead wrong. When you’re embarking on a new venture, instead of listening to the few critics that will try to discredit you, spend time talking to one of the millions of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential.

4. conquering Fear “In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as

I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong.” - Charles Dickens

The only possible way to never fail is to never do anything at all – which isn’t living, it’s nothing but dying. Your doubts and fears are your greatest enemies. When you run from your fears, all you’re really doing is taking a shortcut directly to them without giving any chance for success and happiness.

5. self-Belief “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” -Theodore Roosevelt In life, it is helpful to be able to persuade others, but the only

person you absolutely need to convince is YOU yourself. Unless you sincerely convince yourself of something, no amount of persuasion of anyone else will move you forward. The number one thing you need to convince yourself of is that you CAN do whatever you seek to accomplish. If there are skills you must have, you can learn them. If there are resources you need, you can locate them. Your beliefs and commitments drive possibility into your life. Convince yourself to achieve, and you will find a way to get there.

-7-6. Finding the Right partner

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” -Donald Miller

If you’re still searching for the perfect partner, stop. There’s no such thing. There are only different flavors of imperfect ones. In fact, you are just as imperfect as the partner you seek. You simply need to find someone whose imperfections complement your own.And it’s only after you meet these imperfect parts of yourself that you know who you are looking for – someone whose scars and flaws fit your own – someone who’s imperfect in the perfect way for you.

7. self-imposed Limitations “Everything you can imagine is real.” - Pablo Picasso

We’re all part of a great universe far larger than ourselves. Each of us is merely a small fraction of this living, breathing whole. You may experience yourself as being different, separate from the rest, when you are in fact a very connected element of this whole. Denying this fact restricts your potential to the finite space around you – the people, places, and resources within your immediate reach. Broaden your horizons, accept your oneness with the world around you, and connect with the infinite possibilities that await your attention.

8. Excuses “It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” - George Washington

The biggest problem standing between you and your goal is the sorry excuse you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it. A believable excuse may enable you to save face, but eventually this lie will catch up with you. The question you should be asking yourself is: “Do I want to seem successful to someone else, or to myself ?”

-8-You deserve more than a life filled with empty excuses. Don’t

settle for a growing list of reasons for failure. You can just as easily give yourself real, undeniable reasons to succeed. Choose to make honest, authentic progress. Even a tiny effort is infinitely more productive than a grandiose excuse.

9. procrastination “You may delay, but time will not.” - Benjamin Franklin

It’s time to get up and make an immediate difference in your life. You know all those things you’ve been meaning to get done for the past month, year, etc.? Pick one right now and start doing it. Get your hands dirty, challenge your brain, get sweaty if you have to. Break out of your comforting lull and get involved. Life is far more fulfilling when you participate in making positive things happen. The moment you take positive action, your outlook begins to change. When you notice that you’re making real progress on goals that matter to you, the world is suddenly a much more enjoyable place to live in.

10. solitude “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from

Saturday night until Monday morning alone. That’s how I refuel.” - Audrey Hepburn

You need to be alone sometimes, because when you’re in solitude you’re free from obligations and external pressures. You’re free to be YOU without putting on a show. Stretch your boundaries. Explore places you’ve never been. Go so far away from what you know that you stop being afraid of the unfamiliar. Take long walks and drives and watch sunsets and sunrises silently in peace. Teach yourself something new. Read books. Write poetry. Sing your favorite songs. Life will be much more spicy.

-9-‘a BEttER BRain at any aGE’

- By sondra Kornblatt (Compiled by Mr K Aravamootham, Past President, Hypnotique Circle)

The thinking used to be that the size of the brain did not change after a certain age. Now research findings indicate that there are ways to improve your brain at any age, no matter how old you are, (even past the age of 70)!

Summarizing, without going into lengthy details, stimulation helps brain generate new brain cells. There are hundreds of tips in the book, but I shall provide a few simple but proven ones for improving the brain. The tips include foods, physical exercises, and doing routine tasks in different ways, as well as adding new activities in one’s life. Meditation is a very good thing to do. The following activities strengthen memory, increase creativity, and enhance overall mental agility.

1. Swing your arms when you walk. 2. Enjoy a whiff of cinnamon 3. Paint rooms in contrasting colors 4. Eat avocado and saffron 5. Join laughing club, listen to comedy records, see a comedy film 6. Nod “yes” throughout the day 7. Write with your non-dominant hand 8. Improve your posture 9. Remember to exhale 10. Volunteer for a cause you believe in 11. Give away some of your stuff

Some of the interesting quotes in the book are:“The brain has the storage capacity of 6 million years’ data of

the Wall Street Journal.”“There are more connections in your brain than there are stars

in the universe”“At age seventy-five you have all the brain connections you had

at twenty-five”. “The human brain is an incredible pattern-matching machine”Amazing is’nt it ! Let us start utilising more of this wonderful

machine and make the world a better place to live in.

-10-tRUst is yoUR tRUMp caRD – 8 cs

Why trusted people don’t need slick techniques to help them close the deal

Salespeople often beg business strategist David Horsager to teach them the newest technique for closing a deal. “If you know how to become trusted, you will not need any technique. You won’t need a quickie little elevator speech,” Horsager says. “Some people use little trite things to manipulate clients. The bottom line is it does not work today, and it really never has.”

A student of businesses, organizations and leaders for a decade, Horsager’s clients have included Wells Fargo, FedEx and ING. He lays out the following eight pillars for building or rebuilding trust in The Trust Edge , published by Simon & Schuster.

1. clarity: People trust what is clear, not ambiguous.

2. compassion: It’s one reason everyone loves Mom; she cares about others. Keep eye contact, empathize and hold one conversation at a time for effective listening.

3. character: Do what’s right, not easy. Think George Washington.

4. competency: Example: You don’t want just anyone to do your root canal. You want someone who will do it well.

5. contribution: People trust your contribution, your results. Someone full of compassion and character who doesn’t bring results will suffer in the trust department. Ditto for a sales guy who brings results but in a sleazy way.

6. commitment: The only way to build trust is to make and keep a commitment.

7. connection: People like to buy from and be around friends.

8. consistency: It’s why we trust McDonald’s. We get the same burger in Frankfurt as in Cleveland.

-11- As trust within an organization increases, so do output, morale,

productivity and loyalty; meanwhile, costs, problems, stress and skepticism decrease. For the trusted brand, customers will pay more, come back and tell others, resulting in incredible benefits. He calls the trust edge the “greatest competitive advantage of all time.”

MonEy is not EVERytHinG a wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works

of art. they had everything in their collection, from picasso to Raphael. they would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, ‘Sir, you don’t know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.’ The young man held out this package. ‘I know this isn’t much. I’m not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.’

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. ‘Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It’s a gift.’

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

-12-The man died a few months later. There was to be a great

auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. ‘We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?’ There was silence...

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, ‘We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.’

But the auctioneer persisted. ‘Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?’

Another voice angrily. ‘We didn’t come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh’s, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!’. But still the auctioneer continued. ‘The son! The son! Who’ll take the son?’

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. ‘I’ll give $10 for the painting...’ Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

‘We have $10, who will bid $20?’. ‘Give it to him for $10. Let’s see the masters.’

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn’t want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel.. ‘Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!’

A man sitting on the second row shouted, ‘Now let’s get on with the collection!’

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. ‘I’m sorry, the auction is over.’

-13-‘What about the paintings?’

‘I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will... I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!’

Money is not EVERytHinG in life. there are far more valuable things which cannot be measured by money. Life will be much better if we remove the veil of money and give weight to the underlying thoughts, feelings and emotions behind people’s behavior. see the intention behind the action and not the money involved in the transaction.

9 UnconVEntionaL HaBits oF ExtRaoRDinaRy sUccEss

As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think BIG.- Donald Trump. Even though these aren’t the typical success habits you’d read about in a self-improvement book, they’ve been extremely effective in a lot of lives by helping them align daily efforts with a winning mindset. They can do the same for you

1. Help at least one person a day. The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion,

compassion, humor, and generosity, and using these tools to make the world a better place. Smile, and help others smile too. If you don’t have the power or strength to write someone’s happiness, then try to help them remove their sadness instead. And don’t let the numbers overwhelm you. You can’t help everyone at once. Focus on assisting one person at a time, and always start with the person closest to you. If you can lie down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone’s day just a little brighter, you had a successful day.

-14-2. When you feel like giving up, ask yourself, “can i give more?”

The honest answer is almost always, “Yes.” And once your mind realizes it can, it usually does. One of the unique things about the human mind is that it can do only what it thinks it can do. The minute you say, “I don’t have the energy” or “I’m not capable of that,” you are actually training your brain to live up to your diminished expectations. Low expectations mean low results. So watch how you speak to yourself. And when you reach that point of struggle in your mind where most people would give in and give up, do the opposite and give it another shot.

3. Respect everyone. When you respect people it gives you a special kind of access to

them. No, you don’t automatically get the key to their hearts. What you do get is an increased understanding and rapport, and that can be priceless. If you’re a business owner, respecting your prospective customers will bring you more of their business. If you’re a teacher, respecting your students will add increased effectiveness to your teaching. If you’re in a team, respecting the other team will help you build an effective strategy to win the game. In all walks of life, respect opens the doors of opportunity.

4. accept exactly where you are, wherever you are. One of the great secrets to being happy and successful is accepting

where you are in life and making the most of it. You won’t always know where you are going, but as long as you keep moving forward the journey will be rewarding. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, time has a way of gradually showing you the way to what truly matters. Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself.

5. seek lots of new life experiences. The people with the greatest wisdom are the ones who have been

through the most. So start strong, stay strong, and finish strong by always remembering why you’re doing it in the first place. It’s all about learning and growing along the way.

The most valuable lessons in life cannot be taught, they must be caught. When you reflect on your life, you will likely see some pain, mistakes, and heartache. But when you look in the mirror, you will see the strength, growth, and wisdom that made it all worthwhile.

-15-6. Maintain a diehard belief in yourself.

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. Your individual thoughts and beliefs are similar to chapters in a book. When you put them together, you have the belief system that becomes your life story. If you are going to be successful in creating the life you dream of, you have to believe that you are capable of doing so. You have to believe that you have the resources, talents, and skills necessary to create your desired results.

7. Walk your own path. A good life is not living the life everyone else intended for you. Be

true to yourself. Stand firmly by your core values. It’s what’s right in your mind. You can’t live anyone else’s life. The task is to live yours and stop trying to copy the ones you think are more acceptable. Do not water yourself down to please everyone else. You will lose the passion, freedom, and joy of being who you really are.

8. Find an opportunity in every outcome, positive or negative. Sometimes things happen exactly as you had expected, and

then there are other times when nothing goes as planned. In either situation, there is a way to respond triumphantly. Your victories bring happiness and feelings of self-achievement. Your defeats bring wisdom, strength, and determination. Both outcomes bring new opportunities. This way, life moves continually forward. Right now, you are at the exact time and place where you can actually make a difference. .

9. need less. Instead of focusing so intently on what you want to get, consider

the things you can let go of. Eliminate some excess baggage, lighten your load, and feel a weight lifted off. So many of the things you think you need, you do not need at all, you simply want them. And as your wants diminish, your freedom and abundance grow. Fulfillment is leading a life without the excess.

Bottom line: Ambition, intention, and disciplined effort will bring you great things in this world, but there is more to success than acquiring the commonly celebrated milestones of success that society confers. In the long run, less is often more.

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2.29 pm : Welcome Address

2.35 pm : Self In(tro)duction by Members and Guests

2.45 pm : Your Attitude decides Your Altitude Ms Rajanisree, Corporate Trainer & Hypnotherapist

4.15 pm : Tea

4.40 pm : Make Success Your Hobby and Habit Mr V subramanian, Counsellor and Psychotherapist

6.10 pm : Mass Relaxation – Mr. arun Kumar

Hypnotique circle (madras)

Cordially invites all its Members and Guests for the Monthly Meeting on Sunday, the 10th November 2013

at Hotel Palmgrove, Kodambakkam High Road, Chennai-34 * Free for Members * Guest Investment Rs 150/-

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If undelivered, please return to :Mr. J.UMEDMAL BAFNA, Old # 2, New # 3, Akbar Sahib St, Triplicane,

Chennai - 600005. Mobile : 98415 34999

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