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Reprinted on the

117th JYANTHI MAHOTSAVAM

of Maha Periyava

(ANUSHAM) 28TH May 2010.

By A Devotee.

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Jai Ganesh Offset Printers, 2493 4535

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I LIVED WITH GODDr.D.SUNDARARAMAN

Recently, my wife, Lakshmi and I went to Kancheepuram onJanuary 07, 1993, to have ‘darshan’ of our Periaval and to gethis Blessings for the then forthcoming wedding of our sonGuruprasad. On reaching the Kanchi Kamakoti Mutt, we learntthat Periaval was not giving darshan that day and might not givedarshan the following day also. Still, we waited in line in theplace where he usually gave darshan, from 11.30 a.m. to 12 noon.Then we watched the puja to Chandramauleeswarar, beingperformed by His Holiness Sri Sankara Vijayendra SaraswatiSwamigal. After the puja we got His blessings. Then we went tomy nephew Chandru’s house in Kancheepuram. At about 4.30p.m. we felt that we should go back to the Mutt, thinking thatperhaps we may be lucky to have Periaval’s darshan that evening.Well informed persons told us that it is quite unlikely. At about5.30 p.m., we were told that Periaval would give darshan for afew minutes. It would have been enough for us but we had fifteenminutes of peaceful darshan. A Swamiji who was standing by theside of Periaval, came to me and told that as part of the BirthCentenary Celebrations of Periaval, a souvenir would bepublished containing accounts by persons who had been closelyassociated with Periaval and suggested that I should write aboutmy experiences with Periaval for the souvenir. I did not know thisSwamiji earlier. Later I learnt that he is called Mettur Swamigal.

When I heard the phrase, ‘Your experiences with Periaval’,my thoughts travelled back in time to a night in the year 1957(or) 1958 at Orikkai Village, a night in which I had my mostunforgettable experience – my VISHVARUPADARSHAN OFPERIAVAL. It was a busy day for him. Around 9 p.m. he askedhis regular assistants to go back to Chinna Kancheepuram andtold “Only Sundararaman should be here”. One of the assistantstold him, ‘Sundararaman has not eaten’, to which Perival replied,

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‘He must have by now become used to skipping his meals’. I hadno say. Then he sat in the middle of the inner yard. There wasonly dim moon light. He asked me ‘Do you know my early Story?’I replied ‘I don’t know, even a bit’. Then followed a narration forabout thirty minutes. My memory is still fresh though I am notsure of the year or the date. It could have been a day in1958,during my college vacation. Even after nearly thirty fouryears, I remember the important points of his narration. It hasbeen said by Spiritual Masters that ‘Truth never changes withpassing of time, nor does one’s experience.’ I would be damnedif I misrepresent or falsify or exaggerate my experiences withPeriaval.

All my conversations with Periaval and others mentioned inthis article were in Tamil, but I have done the translation withextreme care. The main points of his narration about his earlystory, had been imprinted on my mind.

When he became the Head of the Kanchi Kamakoti Peetamat the age of thirteen, he soon found that the Mutt was in disorder.Workers in the Mutt were not serious about anything. The Muttwas in debt. The people managing the lands of the Mutt did notgive the minimum produces from the lands, which were not enoughto devotees to meet the daily expenses of the Mutt. Then henarrated about his first all India trip. With lot of emotions, hementioned about the various difficulties he had to experienceduring the trip. During this trip, he said he had a very goodunderstanding of India and of her then problems. He breezedthrough the British Raj, Mahatma Gandhi and FreedomMovement. I was deeply touched when he expressed his deepfeelings for Mother India. (From my experiences I came to regardHim as one of the most patriotic and greatest Indians). To stophim from this sad narration, I told him humorously, “Your situationwhen you became the Peetathipati seems to be worse than mypresent situation.” “But” he continued, “Nowadays people writeeulogizing me and our Mutt”.

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“They don’t seem to know my difficulty in initial years. Nobodywrites about my difficult times. When you will have a chance towrite about me, mention especially about my difficult initial years”,he said concluding his narration. I did not expect the least thatthe conversation would end like this. I told Periaval immediately;“Periaval is now playing with me and teasing me. I am nothing. Iwill never have a chance to write about anything, certainly notabout you.” Preparing to take his bath, he said, “You are certainlygoing to write and I am certainly going to see.” After his bath andshort meditation, he told me, “You must be feeling hungry; I haveforced you to eat in six houses, one day a week in each house.I know you don’t like this arrangement. But I want to see that youcomplete your University Education successfully. When you arehurrying to your class, if food was not ready in that house, youshould go to the class without eating, I am sure. That is why Itold earlier that you must have by now become used to skippingyour meals.” He asked me to eat the rice flakes. I waited for himto begin eating first. But he asked me to eat and after seeingthat I had eaten some handfuls, he ate. I was completely dazed.While I was eating the rice flakes, I was simply staring at his radiantface with penetrating eyes. I had a distinct feeling that I was seeingin his face, the entire world of the compassionate Almighty. Ithought he was giving me VISHVARUPADARSHAN. This isprobably the best way I can describe this experience.

After this, he went on a long spell of meditation. Keepingvigil, I was wondering myself, why and on what he was meditatingso intensely. Ever since that night, his sentences, “ I alwaysremember my difficult years and you are certainly going to writeand I am certainly going to see” have been ringing in my ears,and, I have been asking myself: Will I ever be able to pay himback for those rice flakes? I have not understood Him completely.

On my return flight from Madras to New York on 23rd Jan.’93,I was thinking about the suggestion of Mettur Swamigal. Forabout eight hours of the twentysix hours of travel, I ‘relived’ all

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my experiences with Periaval, during the years 1952 to 1967. Idecided, while the plane was flying high above the Atlantic Ocean,‘I am certainly going to write’. On reaching home, I started towrite. It was all done in my house. Only Ramani’s flute and LalgudiJayaraman’s violin were playing in the room. Where should Istart? I thought I should start from my most unforgettableexperience, my VISHVARUPADARSHAN of HIM, as describedabove. I know if he decides He will certainly see what I have writtenhere.

What follows is quite personal. In the end readers would seecertainly the role of Periaval in my life. Certainly I did not doanything to deserve His grace. Readers will find that I have notwritten anything about Periaval’s greatness as a top man inSpirituality, in Philosophy, in Religion and Social Reform.

I had the privilege of close association with Periaval for nearlyfifteen years, from 1952 to 1967, very close especially during mystudent days from 1952 to 1960. I was a voluntary assistant tohim during my vacation days. People in the Mutt and visitorsenvied me for Periaval’s affection for me. I enjoyed this! Why didPeriaval shower his affection on me?, - then a poor college boy.What did I do to deserve his Kataksham? It is heart breaking tonote that, even after I left him, abruptly many years ago andeven when I have been quite far off, he continues to bless me. In1985 when I was living in Mexico City, one day, I received a letterfrom my nephew Chandru living in Kancheepuram, after severalmonths of silence. The day before he wrote that letter, he hadgone to have darshan of Periaval. As usual there were manyvisitors and assistants. Suddenly, out of context, (as per thisletter) Periaval poised a riddle to his assistants and visitors : “Ihave a person intensely in my mind, He flew away. Who is he?”

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These are precisely the sentences in Tamil. Even after half

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an hour of mutual consultations, no one could solve the riddle,even guess. Periaval himself solved it; “Sundraraman, that sonof Duraiswamy.” According to nephew, no one knew why Periavalshould refer to me on that day. When I finished reading the letter,believe me, my heart almost stopped and I wept. There was noone in the house except myself. It is a wonder even today to me,why I did not collapse. When my wife returned from shoppingshe asked me why my face looked quite pale, as though hit by adevil. I showed her the letter from Chandru. On reading it, shesaid calmly it was only a very good omen, and said: “ it is onlynatural for Periaval to think about you, since you have beenthinking about him always”. I have carried my thoughts abouthim wherever I had been wandering all these past twenty fiveyears, or in whichever country I was sojourning…. I have notfound peace within myself. The dominating thoughts have alwaysbeen how foolish I must have been in leaving Him, and Hispresence and how I missed a golden opportunity for salvation inthis life itself. Any other person, if he had the same experiencesas I had with Periaval, he would not have left him for anything inthis world. But it is ironical that I have not been that eager theseyears to meet Him. I am even afraid of seeing Him face to face.I live and would like to continue to live with my pleasant andunforgettable memories of Periaval of the years 1952 to 1967.

An opportunity to write about myself and about Periaval’srole in my life arose in 1967, when I applied to Columbia University,New York, for Doctoral Studies in mathematics and to the FullbrightFoundation in India for travel grant. As per the applicationprocedures, I was asked to submit a brief autobiographicalsketch. I reproduce below the second paragraph from a copy ofthe sketch that I have.

“My family was so poor that I could not dream of Universityeducation at that time. However, a turning point in my life tookplace when Jagadguru Sri Sankaracharya Swamigal of KanchiKamakoti Mutt was very much impressed by my sincere desire to

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pursue University education. With His blessings and financialhelp, University education was possible for me. But for HisHoliness’ encouragement, I could not have had higher educationand the need for writing this would not have arisen”

What I wrote then in 1967, applies even more now in 1993.That I am writing this article goes as a fulfillment of his emphaticprediction: ‘You are certainly going to write’.

I remember nothing pleasant of my first twelve years of life,except for a celebration in my village when India becameindependent in 1947. Around 1950, my parents lived in a villagecalled T.Kulathoor, my mother’s birth place and Kodiyur, a villageabout five miles from Kulathoor, is my father’s native place. Mymother got married to my father when she was five years old. Myfather moved to Kulathoor a few years after his marriage. Mymother, being the only daughter of her father, Sundaresa Iyer,received from her father several acres of agricultural land. Myfather, after loosing several jobs because of his bad temperbecame an acting village maniakkarar (village munsif) in thenearby twin villages, called Mettukuppam – Pavandur. When thehereditary heir-minor came of age, my father lost this job too.Then he became permanently a Vakil Gumasta, taking the casesof the illiterate village folk to the advocates of Tirukkoilur andCuddalore. The village folk were good natured and they settledmost of their cases at the village panchayat itself. My father’sincome became almost nil. Every year my mother kept on sellingher lands, acre by acre. By the year 1950, my family situationwas hopeless. My two elder sisters were married off earlier. Ihad (have) an younger sister and an elder brother. My fathertried his best to let my elder brother Ganapathy complete hishigh school education in Tirukkoilur. But my brother showed noserious interest in education and he ran away from home in 1951.After my elementary school education in the village, I had to remainidle for a year or so. Around 1949-50, Periaval was camping inour village. As per my mother’s version, on knowing the status

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of my parents, Periaval blessed me saying, “This boy would bringhappiness and prosperity to you and to your family”. I neverbelieved her. Later events, proved the truth of her words. Myparents left our village by 1951 and joined the Mutt, at somecamp near Mayavaram in Tanjore district.

My eldest brother-in-law, Mr.A.Venkataraman (no more now)was one of the three or four who had completed high schooleducation. After teacher’s training, he became a good andpopular teacher, in 1951, in Kandachipuram; I studied my seventhstandard in his school, staying with him and my sister. The nextyear he was transferred to Siddhalingamadam, where I studiedin the eighth standard. There I came into contact with an unusualSwamigal called Gnanananda living in a house just opposite tothe school. He was aloof, most of the times. Only very rarely, hehad visitors. After school hours every evening I used to spend atleast an hour with him. He used to call me affectionately,Sundaram, speak with me and give me some sweets and fruitsevery evening. He was like a grand-father to me. Nobody thereknew anything about his past. A few years earlier, he had cometo that village from somewhere. He used to tell me some stories.I became quite attracted to him. After a few years, he moved toArakandanallur, near Tirukkoilur, where he became quite famous.He is no more now. I am writing about this Swamiji here becauseit is he who told me first, even as I was very young, that, “Periavalis a walking god; he is not just the head of a Mutt; people wouldsoon realize the true nature of Periaval”. Gnanananda has alsotold me, whenever I was in a dejected mood, “Periaval will protectyou and your family”.

After nearly eight months of joining the Mutt, my father wrotea letter to me saying that Periaval enquired about me and wantedme to study in a High School. I was excited by the prospect ofgoing to a high school. On reading the letter, I thoughtGnanananda’s prediction was coming true. After my E.S.L.C.Examination and after bidding farewell to Gnanananda, I appeared

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before Periaval in April 1952, at Anandathandavapuram nearMayavaram. Periaval asked me, “Are you going to study in Highschool or not?” I replied that I was eager but I did not know howand where. Then Periaval asked my mother to set up family inChidambaram. At this point I would like to emphasize that eventhough neither my parents nor I had any idea, much less a plan,for my higher education, Periaval had already a complete plan inhis mind as it appeared to me in retrospect.

I joined the Ramaswamy Chettiar High school inChidambaram. I did excellently in my studies. I used to visitPeriaval during my vacation. I was some sort of an assistant inhandling out and mailing prasadams to devotees, in reading toPeriaval the daily newspapers, and such odd jobs. I wrote myS.S.L.C. Examination in April 1955. By then Periaval had movedto Chinna Kancheepuram. He was often camping at nearbySivasthanam and Orikkai. Immediately after the Examination, Iwent to Kancheepuram and spent the next two months with him.When my results appeared in The Hindu in June, 1955, I happilyreported to Periaval. The next day, when he was going to theRiver Palar, he asked me to follow him. I was standing near himin the waters of the river when he was about to have a dip. Bythen a large number of devotees had gathered on the bank ofthe river. Then followed a discussion between him and me forabout fifteen minutes, which changed my entire life. It is thenand there I received my GEETHOPADESAM from Him.

“Now that you have passed your S.S.L.C. examinations, whatare you going to do?” he asked me. My father, two months earlierhad undergone hernia operation. His condition was foremost inmy mind. I replied to Periaval that I was thinking of taking up ajob and take care of my parents. With an enchanting smile hesaid, “You seem to think that you have answered my questionintelligently”, and looked straight at me. I thought he wouldapprove my decision. Then raising his voice, he went on, “Your

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father was not created with the hope that you would take care ofhim. You seem to study well. Get as much of higher educationas possible and equip yourself with maximum qualifications andtake care of your life”. Then he took a dip in the river. I did notquite understand what he was trying to tell me. I asked “DoesPeriaval want me to study in a University?” “You seemed to havegot the message”, quickly came-forth the reply. With utmostdesperation, I told him, “Now Periaval is playing with me andmocking at me; Periaval knows my circumstances. Even if I don’thave to take care of my parents, where will I go for the moneyneeded for four or five years of higher education?”. “I don’t likeyour attitude, always self-pitying. Do you know how Hanumancrossed the ocean? You can achieve anything you want to, onlyif you have self-confidence and faith and work hard towards yourobjective”. Instantly I remembered Lord Krishna’s everlastingGEETHOPADESAM to his troubled disciple Arjuna. Meanwhile,the visitors at the bank of the river were getting restless. Somecomplained too within my hearing, “That son of Duraiswamy hasbeen engaging Periaval in some unnecessary arguments.” I didnot want to get into trouble with them by taking more of theirtime. I started going back to the other bank of the river. ButPeriaval called me back and asked point-blank, “Do you havefaith in me or not?” With tears pouring down to the river, I toldPeriaval, “I do have faith in you”. “Then, go and get the applicationfrom Annamalai University”, he commanded and dismissed mefrom His presence.

I rushed to Chinna Kancheepuram to tell my father of whathad happened to me at the River Palar. My father was moresurprised than I was. He said that if I had faith in Periaval, Ishould do as Periaval wished. He added “I am sorry I cannot beof much help to you”. Then he went to do his kainkaryam.

Only a few days were left for sending the application. Therewas a hitch. My mark list had to be attested by a Gazetted Officer,as per the instructions. To speak out frankly I did not know who

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a Gazetted Officer was. At that time there came a visitor fromMadras, an elderly orthodox looking person. I went to him, showedhim my application form and asked him whether he knew anyGazetted Officer. He said that he would very gladly attest mymark list. Immediately I gave my application to him requestingthat it has to be signed by a Gazetted Officer. Then he introducedhimself as a Chief Professor of the University of Madras. I wasashamed and apologized to him. He wished me well in my studiesand attested my mark lists. This incident was a big lesson to me.From that day onwards, I never judged a person by his or herappearance.

A few days later I submitted my application and simultaneouslyI received my acknowledgement along with the admission letterfrom Annamalai University. I rushed to Periaval who was engagedin a discussion with some visitors. I was hesitant to approachhim at that time. He saw me, abruptly stopped his conversationand asked me, “You have received your admission letter, is itnot?” I nodded my head. Then Periaval called one of the personsin the audience and asked him, “Are you not the Manager of thegold merchant, Rathnaswami Chettiar of Chidambaram?” Thatperson admitted it to be so. “Will your chettiar be able to dosomething, if I ask him to do?”, Periaval asked that person.Chettiar is a great devotee of Periaval and he will do anythingthat Periaval bids, that person replied. Periaval told the Manager:“I am not asking for much; I am interested in this good boy; Hehas secured admission in your University, ask your Chettiar todo the needful so that this boy joins the University”. The Managerreplied, “it will be done”. Then Periaval turned towards me andsaid, “Your problem is solved; go and study well”. A little later, Imet the Manager of the Chettiar and told him that I expectedMr.Chettiar to pay my first tuition fees of Rs.110/-. The Managersaid that there would not be any problem and asked me to meetthe Chettiar, as soon as I arrived at Chidambaram.

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Now that my tuition fees has been arranged, I began to thinkabout my boarding and lodging. Since I did not have the leastidea that I would be studying at Annamalai University and alsobecause of my father’s operation, my mother shifted our familyfrom Chidambaram to Chinna Kancheepuram. I did not want toask Periaval explicitly about this at that time. Since I had alreadyconfided in him that I had faith in Him, I thought there was nothingelse I could do. My second elder sister and her family were inChidambaram. I thought I would stay with her for a few days tillPeriaval made arrangements for my boarding and lodging. I wentto Chidambaram and met Mr.Rathnaswami Chettiar in his big goldshop. Mr.Chettiar said his Manager had told him about me andasked me what I wanted from him. I told him I needed Rs.110/-to pay for my tuition fees. Then Chettiar said, “I don’t know howyou misunderstood my Manager; how can I give you Rs.110/-just like that? Do you have any land or house or jewellery assecurity so that I can lend you this amount?” I said that I hadnone of those. Then Chettiar said, “You have already got theadmission. I won’t give you the money you ask”. His Managerwas not to be found anywhere in the shop. This was my first andmost humiliating experience. My faith in Periaval got momentarilyshattered. Why did Periaval subject me to this humiliatingexperience? I rushed to the Post Office and gave a telegram tothe Manager of the Mutt, “inform Periaval that Chettiar is unwillingto give me the money for tuition fees and I was awaiting furtherinstructions”. Feeling completely helpless, I returned to my sister’shouse. I returned via the West Gopuram and the North Gopuramof the famous Nataraja Temple. That morning Sri RamakrishnaSastrigal, a learned man of the Mutt had come to my sister’shouse. Ramakrishna Sastrigal greeted me. I did not even botherto acknowledge his presence. I went inside and laid down myselfflat, upside down. The Sastrigal patted my back and said, “I likeyou very much”, to which I retorted “Yes! All you people like mebecause Periaval is kind to me: now this Periaval has completelylet me down and I am completely humiliated”. “Don’t say a word

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against Periaval”, Sastrigal said, “Look at me, it is He who hassent me here with the money you needed”. On hearing this, Ilooked at him angrily. He said, “You may get angry with me; don’tsay a word against that Karunamurthy. After you left him andafter his puja, he called me and said that he was worried aboutyou as he was not sure whether Chettiar would give you themoney. He asked me to go to the cashier of the Mutt and getRs.110/-. I got the money. Then Periaval asked me to go overhere taking the next available train. He asked me to observe thesituation here and if the Chettiar has not given you the money,only then he asked me to tell you and give you the money. Youare a blessed boy”. Handing out the money to me,Mr.Ramakrishna Sastrigal left for Kancheepuram. I becamespeechless. I regretted my momentary loss of faith in Periaval. Ithought this was one of the mysterious ways of his action.

I paid my tuition fees and joined the Annamalai University.The Manager of the Mutt thereafter kept on sending regularlythe term fees for five years.

Two months later, one morning, Mr.Rathnaswami Chettiarcame in his big car to my sister’s house looking for me. We werequite surprised to see him. Chettiar, with folded hands, told me,“I am sorry for my misbehaviour when you came to see me in myshop. Some days ago, I went to Kancheepuram to have darshanof Periaval. He briefly mentioned about you and asked mewhether I remembered you. In the presence of many devotees,he asked me how could I break the heart of the young boy sentby him. I could not open my mouth. All along I thought I wasvery rich, but that day he made me look very poor in the presenceof many people. After returning from Kancheepuram, I am comingstraight here to see you and apologize to you. I will bear yourentire educational expenses, please accept.” I could not believethis happening. But I did not lose my heart. I told him politely, “Iwas with Periaval ten days back. I would be going again in thefollowing week. If Periaval asks me to meet you, I will come and

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see you in your shop”. Chettiar left saying, “I hope, you will comeand see me soon”.

Two weeks before the above visit of Mr.Chettiar, I had anunexpected visitor with very good news. It was Thiru Murugesanar,one of my Tamil Teachers in my high school. I was quite surprisedto see him. He was a member of the rationalist atheist group. Igreeted Thiru Murugesanar with due respects. Murugesanar said,“You know, I am a strict follower of Periar; even though I havesome Brahmin friends, I don’t go to a Brahmin’s house. I havecome to congratulate you; you have brought name and fame toour school; you have stood first in the entire Madras State in theTamil Examination of the S.S.L.C. final examinations; I just learntthat there is another student in another town, who has scoredexactly the same marks as you have secured”.

“The Dharmapuram Adheenam had instituted, since a fewyears back, a cash price of Rs.300/- to be awarded to the studentwho stood first in Tamil in the S.S.L.C. examination of each year.They have given a telegram to your Head Master, asking arepresentative to be sent to the Adheenam’s office in Madras.They are going to decide, on the basis of lottery, to whom theprize money should go. You know I don’t care much about theseAdheenams. But I am going to represent you at the Adheenam”.With a smile Murugesanar said, “I, a staunch follower of Periar,am going to represent you, a devout follower of Acharyar”. Mysister and I felt jubilant. Murugesanar was about to leave. Ithanked him and asked him whether he would drink a cup of milkin a Brahmin’s house. Murugesanar replied, “Our relationship isteacher-student relationship, nothing else matters now; I willgladly drink on this happy occasion”. Murugesanar drank themilk and left. Three days later, Head Master Velayudam Pillaisent a school boy to tell me the news that I had won Rs.300/-The next day there was a small celebration in the School, whenmy name was entered in a new Honor Role Board and I wasawarded the cash prize.

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After getting rich, unexpectedly, with Rs.300/- I rushed toChinna Kancheepuram to report to Periaval. He was camping innearby Sivasthanam. I did my usual namaskarams. I placed thethree hundred rupees in a bamboo plate before him. He seemedto be quite surprised and looked at me. Proudly, I told him of mybig award. “I am very happy to hear this”, he said. “What did theChettiar tell you when you went to him for Rs.110/-?”, Periavalasked me immediately; I told him briefly what happened to me atthe Chettiar’s shop, since Ramakrishna Sastrigal would have toldhim the details.

“You see the mysterious ways in which Bhagavan acts”,Periaval remarked. I said to myself, “I don’t know any Bhagavanbut you”. “So, you rushed to tell me the goods news, place yourmoney before me and take it back”, He said smilingly. I kept mymouth shut. He continued, “You must have already thought of aplan as to how to spend it”. I told him I was going to pay Rs.100/- to a doctor in Kancheepuram as fees for the forthcomingcataract operation of my mother and I was going to buy a secondhand bicycle for Rs.100/-, “Still you are rich, left with Rs.100/-.”Periaval remarked humorously, gave me prasadam and askedme to return to Chidambaram. The simple and sereneSivasthanam temple has always attracted me. After taking leaveof Periaval, I went to do my ‘Pradakshinams’ in the Siva Temple.At the end of my first pradakshinam, I saw a young orthodoxIyengar, standing at the entrance of the temple and shouting,“There is a rich man here and Periaval wants to see him”. Therewere about forty visitors at that time and nobody responded. Theyoung Iyengar returned to Periaval. At the end of my secondpradakshinam, I saw the same person shouting as before. Nobodyresponded and the Iyengar returned to Periaval and after thethird pradakshinam, I went inside the temple to witness the“Camphor harati” and came out. By then the same Iyengar washeard shouting more definitely, “There is a rich man here withexactly three hundred rupees and Periaval wants him”. It was

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now quite clear to me. I rushed to Periaval in the hut. I waswondering what was in store for me. With an enchanting smile heasked me, “Are you the rich man, I have been looking for?” Ihumbly replied, “I have three hundred rupees at this moment”.Periaval said, “Will you give me thirty rupees?” I placed all thethree hundred rupees in the bamboo plate before him. He said,“I just want thirty rupees”. Then I left thirty rupees in the plateand took the remaining amount. Then pointing out to me theyoung Iyengar, Periaval said, “You have won this money for yourexpertise in Tamil; this young man wants to earn his living byteaching Sanskrit; he wants to prepare himself for this by passingsome private examinations in Sanskrit. Tomorrow seems to bethe last day for paying his examination fees. He asked me togive thirty rupees. Then I remembered you. With your own hands,give these thirty rupees to this scholar in Sanskrit”, Periavalconcluded. I did as I was told and left. The Sanskrit scholarcame out of the hut to thank me. I told him we should all knowwhom to thank! I returned to Chidambaram.

After the visit of Mr.Chettiar, that week-end, I rushed to ChinnaKancheepuram to report to Periaval. I told Periaval aboutChettiar’s meeting with me in my sister’s house and about hisoffer to me.

Periaval asked me, “Did Chettiar himself come to your houseand apologize to you?”. “Yes. He did”, I replied. Periaval wentsilent for a few minutes. Then he said, “I was somewhat harshwith Chettiar, when he came to see me. He regrets now, what hedid to you when you went to see him. But, you see, the mistakeis not entirely Chettiar’s. I should have told his Manager explicitlywhat I wanted the Chettiar to do for you. Certainly he should nothave asked you whether you had lands or house or jewellery. Ifyou had any of these, I would not have sent you to him. Now thatChettiar is willing to take care of all your expenses, what do youwant to do?”, Periaval asked me. I replied, “I don’t feel likeaccepting anything from Mr.Chettiar.” “You seem to be still angry

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with him, he made a mistake and repents for it. What else youwant him to do? He is also one of my devotees; if you don’taccept anything from him after all this, he is going to feel terriblybad and I don’t want that to happen”, Periaval said. Then Periavalasked me how much I needed for my monthly pocket expensesand I replied that not more than ten rupees would be needed.Then Periaval proposed a compromise, quite fair to both of hisdevotees, that I should get from Mr.Chettiar Rupees ten everymonth, ten months a year until the completion of my studies. Ireturned to Chidambaram and told Mr.Chettiar what Periavalwanted me to do. Thereafter, every month I used to go toChettiar’s shop to receive ten rupees. On these occasions,Chettiar used to make brief enquiries about Periaval and aboutmy education. I knew precisely to whom he was showing hisrespects.

After these arrangements for my tuition fees and ‘pocketexpenses’, I was wondering what Periaval was going to do for myboarding and lodging. One day one couple in their fifties, cameto see me in my sister’s house in Chidambaram. They introducedthemselves as Mr.& Mrs. Swaminatha Iyer. They said they hadjust returned from Kancheepuram after having darshan ofPeriaval. Then Mrs. Swaminatha Iyer said that when they wereabout to take leave of Periaval, “Periaval said, I am interested ina boy, who has just joined the University in your town; if you givehim boarding and lodging, it would be your biksha to me”. Ireplied immediately, ‘we would take care of that boy very gladlyfor the entire duration of his studies.’ But Periaval added acondition that we should provide boarding and lodging only forone day a week, for the duration of studies. We reluctantlyagreed; we are not blessed with children. We thought we weregoing to have a boy all to ourselves. Periaval also asked us totell our two neighbours Pattammal and Kokila that Periaval wantedeach of them to provide the boy with boarding and lodging, forone day a week, for his period of education. Pattamma and her

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husband Duraiappa are great devotees of Periaval. We toldPattamma and Kokila what Periaval wanted them to do. Theywere immensely pleased. We got your address from the Muttand have come to invite you to our house”. I became quiteembarrassed. I cannot now adequately describe what were myfeelings on hearing this history. I thought that the mysteriousPeriaval was watching the whole proceedings. I was deeplytouched. I immediately prostrated before the venerable couple.I told them that Periaval never even hinted to me of such anarrangement for me and that I would come to them, only afterseeing Periaval. They left reluctantly, saying, “Please give usthe happiness of having you in our house”. My sister Meenakshiand I, both got quite confused by the turn of events. Before Icould have time to think about the couple and their preposition,the next day, an elderly looking diminutive man came to see me.He said he was a medical doctor and that he had just returnedfrom Kancheepuram after visiting Periaval. Then he told meexactly the same story, as told the previous day by Mr. & Mrs.Swaminatha Iyer; that he and his brother, timber merchantMahalinga Iyer were staunch devotees of Periaval and that itwould be their great privilege to give me boarding and lodging,one day a week in each of their house. I thanked him and toldhim that I would come to see him, after visiting Periaval. Then Iwent to my classes. When I returned, I saw a young man waitingfor me. He introduced himself as Sundaresan, the second sonof Katcheri Street Rajam mami. He said to his mother there wasno other God than Periaval and that she had just returned fromKancheepuram, after having darshan of her God. ThenSundaresan told me the exact story, as told earlier by Mr. & Mrs.Swaminatha Iyer. Sundaresan said, his mother was anxiouslywaiting to meet me and was looking forward to having me in theirhouse once a week. I told that University student Sunderesan,that I would see his mother after visiting Periaval. It was becomingtoo much for me to make out anything. Before another visitorshowed up with a similar story, I wanted to visit Periaval. I took

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the night train to Kancheepuram. The next morning I waited forPeriaval to finish his morning ‘anushtanams’. Then I appearedbefore him and did my namaskarams. I did not say anything,when he looked at me. Periaval was silent for a couple of minutesand then said, “So, except for one day in a week, your weeklyboarding and lodging have been arranged.” I did not respondand stood still. He continued “You seem to be not quiteenthusiastic about my arrangement”. “May be you think it wouldbe better if lodging has been arranged”. Again I did not utter aword. “May be you think it would be a humiliating experience.Each of the persons, who came and saw you, is a great devoteeof me; you will be a royal guest in their homes”. I continued mysilence, he went on, “You are an expert in Tamil; you must haveknown the famous poetess Aauvaiyar’s saying”, “Getting educatedis good, even if one has to beg; if you think that my arrangementis some sort of a begging, I tell you, you did not beg; I will beg foryou”. Without realizing it, tears welled up in my eyes. When Iwent to Periaval, I was not sure whether I would accept thisarrangement, because I considered that it would be quite ahumiliating experience. But when the God himself told me, “Youdid not beg,” all my ego in me got evaporated instantly. Withtears flowing from my eyes, I did my sashtanga namaskaramsand told him, “I do accept your arrangement for me”. In order notto make my God beg another person for the missing day of myweekly meals, I told Periaval that I would eat one day a week inmy sister’s house. I could not stand before him any more becauseof my emotion. I was leaving but He called me and asked point-blank, “Did you accept my arrangement for you, because I did it,or because you want somehow to complete your highereducation?” It is because of both, I said and left.

From that day onwards, I decided not to subject my Periavalto do anything for me. Even in my prayers to him, I never soughtany benefit for me or for my family. He had blessed me evenwhen I was a very young boy.

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Let me continue my story. My experiences with the six familieswere quite happy. Each of them treated me like a royal guest asPeriaval said. Soon I became an affectionate member of each ofthese families. Contrary to what Periaval was afraid of, I did nothave to skip even a single meal. A gentle and benevolent widowSundaram Mami (sister of Shri.Neelakanta Iyer of B.G.Paul & Co.)took care of my book expenses each year. The AnnamalaiUniversity also awarded me a merit-cum- means scholarship ofthe value of Rs.150/- per year. My higher studies progressedwithout any problem. When I was in the second year of studies,my sister Meenakshi and her husband Ramamoorthy also joinedthe Mutt. From the very beginning, I was completely overpoweredby Pattammal’s affection for me. After two years, I stayed withher permanently during the rest of my course and a couple ofmonths more when I became a lecturer in the Annamalai University.The other families rightly understood Pattammal’s overpoweringinfluence on me and my decision to stay with her. Duraiappa’syounger brother’s only son, Natarajan was also studying in thesame University. We became very good friends.

After my final B.Sc., Hons. Examination in April, 1960, I spentthe next two months with Periaval. He was then camping atTiruchirapalli in the National High School Campus, where everynight, he was delivering a lecture. I spent time in understandingthese lectures. I would like to mention one of my most movingexperiences of this period.

One morning, I went to a barber’s shop opposite to theNational High School for my hair cut. As we all know, while doingtheir jobs, barbers usually talk a lot about interesting things, aboutpoliticians and film stars in particular, to keep their customersfrom getting bored. While doing his job, this barber asked whereI was from and why I was there in Tiruchi. I told him that I wasfrom Chidambaram and that I had come to pay my respects tothe Samiar camping in the school, opposite to his shop. Thenthe barber said, “we are all barbers here and followers of Periar

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E.V.R.”. I felt a little uneasy. I had a tuft and his knife was on myhead! He continued, “I have always thought that all Samiars arebogus and hypocrites. But this Samiar seems to be different”. Ibecame less nervous and asked him why he thought so. Hereplied, “Every day, he goes by this street; for the first few days,I did not even look at him; then one morning, I saw him face toface just in front of my shop. His face looked quite innocent andhis eyes were sparkling. Suddenly there was a tingling sensationall over my body. Without realizing it, my hands got raised takingthe form of showing respect. With difficulty, I controlled myselfand brought my hands down. I told this incident to my barberfriends. They also said that this Samiar seem to be genuine. Weall decided that we should not cause any harm to the personswho came to see this Samiar. So, you don’t have to be afraid ofus”, he assured me, finishing his job. This incident has beenever fresh in my memory. Around 2 p.m. that day, I ran accidentallyto the backyard of the school. I was not supposed to see Him onthat day, because of my haircut. Persons, after having a shaveshould not move out where Periaval was or see Him. I thoughtthe backyard of the school was a safe place. I turned around soas not to face him. But he called and said, “I have finished mybiksha; it seems you had today a nice shaving”. After makingsure that there was no Mutt official around, I faced Periaval andsaid, “yes, Periaval is right.” “Did your barber entertain you withsome nice stories?”, Periaval asked humorously. I replied veryseriously, “on the contrary, my barber talked to me aboutspirituality; and he even praised you”, then I narrated to him thetalk of the barber. Periaval was silent for a few minutes. Thenhe said, and I quote, translating what he said in Tamil; “Sometimes,I have wondered whether all my meditations and prayers haveproduced any effect on society? From what you said just now, itseems they have not gone to waste”. Then he went inside. I saidto myself, “Your meditations and prayers have indeed producedand will continue to produce desirable changes in all persons inthe society”.

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Now, I go back to my earlier years. It was an importantoccasion for me, but I don’t remember the exact timing. I wasspending a summer with him. One day at Orikkai, he suddenlyasked, “I see you are not invested with sacred thread; why is it?”.I replied that my mother had been telling my father about thisand that my father had been telling her that he had not savedenough money for my ‘upanayanam’ function. I quote below whatPeriaval said in his thought provoking lecture to me: “I am unhappyabout the present Brahmin Community. They have convertedpurely sacred and simple functions like ‘Upanayanam’ into socialmelas. They waste a lot of money on unnecessary things, likesilk sarees and coffee-drinking. They don’t pay attention to themain part of the function. I don’t mind, even though I don’t approveof it, if the rich people spend their money showing off their wealth.But, the trouble is, the poor try to imitate the rich. They borrowbeyond their means to conduct simple functions such as‘upanayanam’. They postpone the performance of the‘upanayanam’ which had to be done at the right age. Actually,the money needed for the celebration of an ‘upanayanam’ is quitemodest. Boys remain without the sacred thread until the daybefore their wedding”.

He stopped abruptly and was silent. Then raising his voice,he said angrily, “Why, I talk about others? You, yourself, arestanding before me, showing your bare chest to me. I did notobserve this before”. I got really afraid. I tried to leave. ButPeriaval commanded, “Go and bring your father here and bringalso a ‘panchangam’.” My father appeared before Periaval,leaving his work in the middle. While looking at the ‘panchangam’,Periaval told my father, “this is a good month for performing‘upanayanam’ of this son of yours, who is standing here showinghis bare chest to me”. My father attempted to say something.But Periaval intervened and told him, “don’t tell me that you havenot saved enough money and there is no time to invite yourrelatives. The Sastrigals in the Mutt can be asked to help you to

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perform the ‘upanayanam’. You can pay them whatever you canafford and you can take the necessary provisions from the‘ugranam’ of the Mutt. Apart from the boy, his mother and you,no relatives are necessary for this function”. My father said,“Periaval had already assigned to me preparing of the ‘neivedyam’on the next Thursday.” Periaval replied, “You will be doing itwithout fail and you will also be performing the ‘upanayanam’ ofyour son on that day. The function should take place exactly atthis place in this cow-shed. The cows should not be disturbed.You do the ‘poorvangams’ very early in the morning. Then goand prepare the ‘neivedyam’ to Chandramouleeswarar. By thetime, I start my pujas, you come back to continue the activitieshere. Now you go back to finish your work”, he concluded,dismissing my father from his presence. I disappeared with myfather. I went to Chinna Kancheepuram to report to my mother.She was happy and unhappy at the same time. She was unhappybecause there was not much time to invite all her relatives andthere was not enough money to celebrate the function in a grandmanner.

No relatives were invited and no new clothes were bought.The upanayanam function was in progress, exactly as per theplan of Periaval, in the cow-shed. There appeared a very goodlooking couple, each with a big bamboo-plate in their hands. Thenadaswara vidwans of the Mutt were standing before this couple,playing music. At once, I recognized them. My parents and Iknew them. They were Nangavaram Sundararaja Iyer and hiswife. Then Sundararaja Iyer spoke: “We came yesterday eveningand appeared before Periaval. Then we learnt from Periavalthat, one in whom Sri Periaval had taken much interest, is tohave Brahmopadesam today” and presented my parents andmyself with new clothes and flowers, fruits, sugar candy etc. Theyremained till the end of the function. When Periaval was doingchandana-abishekam in the adjoining hall, (separated by a thickwall), exactly at that time, my upanayana muhoortham took place.

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My parents and I waited in the cow-shed for periaval to finish hispuja. Periaval came straight to the cow-shed where we were.We hurriedly did our namaskarams. He took a fruit from theplate and gave it to me and made us all to eat at the generalsamaradhanai saying that “It will be the kalyanam meals.”

Starting with such an upanayanam function, any mentallysound person would be doing his Sandhyavandhanams regularlyfor the rest of his life. This wretched writer deserves to be damnedfor this omission. I have been reciting the “Gayathri Mantram”,at odd times in odd places. Perhaps this will save me.

There have been many occasions when I felt completelydistressed. I thought I would throw away my poonal (sacredthread), wrapping my chest like a serpent. What prevented mefrom doing this was, that I remembered the circumstances of myunique upanayanam function. Perhaps, Periaval himselfsuspected that I would one day (or would have already) throw(thrown) away my poonal. I visited Periaval in July 1986, afternearly six years, while on a brief visit to India from Mexico. Oneevening, my wife and I went to Kancheepuram. The next day wasthe day of ‘avani avittam’, a day in which, after purificatoryceremonies, a male adorns new poonal, discarding the old one.I had my new poonal in a group ceremony held at the Mutt. Thatafternoon, we had darshan of Periaval. Paattu Ramamoorthywas by the side of Periaval. He introduced saying, “DuraiswamyIyer’s son Sundararaman and his wife have come from Mexico;they are doing namaskarams to Periaval”. Periaval looked at usand asked Paattu Ramamoorthy by gestures, whether I waswearing poonal. (I said within myself, ‘I am not standing beforeyou, showing my bare-chest.’) Paattu Ramamoorthy replied toPeriaval, “Yes, he is wearing”. Then Periaval gestured to him,whether I had changed my poonal that day. Ramamoorthy repied,“Yes, he has done so in the group sravanam in the Mutt, I sawit.” Periaval gave us prasadams. I decided that day, “I will neverthrow away my poonal, however imperfect I am and have been,

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and under no circumstances”. The next week, we went to LosAngeles, my new place of job at the University of California.Presently I am retracting to the year from 1956to 1960 – to theperiods of vacation.

On one occasion I took leave of Periaval staying in ChinnaKancheepuram, went to my house and put on newly washed shirtand dhoti. I was about to leave for the Railway Station. Iremembered that I have not taken leave of my father. I hurried tothe Mutt, removed my shirts, held it on my left hand, saw myfather working in the backyard and took leave of him. My fathersaid, “Periaval is sitting near the well, all along, go and donamaskarams and then leave”. I told my father that I had alreadytaken leave of Periaval. My father said, “Nothing will be lost ifyou do your namaskarams to him once more”. Reluctantly, I wentnear the well. Periaval was sitting with legs stretched out andeyes half-closed. It looked to me as though he was about tosleep. There was a pool of muddy water where I was standing. Ihad to do my namaskarams. I carefully put my shirt on a highraised stone (meant for washing clothes), carefully bent myselfwith the toes of my legs and fingers of my hands touching theclean parts of the ground. I did this exercise four times. I wasabout to leave, without making any noise. Suddenly Periavallaughed and asked me what I did just then. I replied that I did mynamaskarams to Periaval. “Really, I thought you did yournamaskarams to your clean and white veshti (Dhoti)”, saidPeriaval. I knew I was caught red handed? He continuedsomewhat angrily, “why this hypocrisy? Did I ever ask you to donamaskarams to me?” I rolled over the slushy and muddy poolof drainage water several times, with a feeling of doing ‘angapradhakshanam’ (As devotees do, in the holy prakaram in thetemple of Lord Venkateswara in Tirupati.) “Stop, stop, it is enough.You have completely ruined your clean and white veshti; I hopeyou have an alternate veshti for changing; go home, take a bath,dress up and run to the station to catch your train”, Periaval

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said. I did not utter a word; I felt as though my tongue was piercedthrough a big needle. I thought just then, “I was completelyexposed and severely whipped publicly”. Earlier my father saidwithout knowing what was in store for me? “Nothing will be lost ifyou do your namaskarams to him once more”. But I came out ofthe Mutt with a feeling as though I lost all my hypocrisy.

It is well known to people who have had associations withPeriaval that Periaval found time, amidst his busy schedule ofactivities, to learn about what was going on in the world at large.Devotees were one source of information, and daily newspapersin Tamil and English another. In regard to judgment of these, hemade his own analysis and judgment. One day, after biksha, hewas reading the Tamil daily Swadesamitran. There was a reportabout the devastating effects of radiation on people living inJapan. The report detailed the effects on those unfortunatepeople, even 15 years after the nuclear attacks on the two cities.The report started in the first page with a bold heading and wascontinued in a particular column, in a particular page.

But the report was not continued in the column of the pagementioned, perhaps it was a printer’s devil. Periaval asked us tofind out where exactly the report had been continued. My friendsspent about five minutes each and told Periaval that they couldnot locate the page. They were just looking for the heading.When my turn came, I read the report from its very beginningand looked for its logical continuation in other pages. I found thecontinuation in the last but one page. With a sense of discovery,I told Periaval, that I had found it. “It is in that particular page andin that particular column, is it not?” Periaval said, shattering myfeeling of discovery, that he had already read the full report. Toassuage my feelings he began to call me ‘Discoverer of AtomBomb’, for the duration of the visit. The main point in this particularexperience is the concern he expressed, in a chain of questions,which imprinted on my mind. “What is an atom bomb? Whyscientists hail this as one of the greatest inventions of modern

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science? What was the world-context when this terrible inventionwas made? What sort of problems can one imagine that wouldarise if these mass-killer weapons proliferate?”

“What is the use of Science without moral consideration?”After each question, he paused and finally after the last question,he went into a long silence. With some scientific background, Icould understand the depth of these questions. By the way,contrary to what some might think, Periaval was (at least thePeriaval I know of those years) all for scientific research anddevelopment, especially in the context of India. But on the nuclearissue, he had very definite views. He was for a Nuclear Weapons-Free World.

Aftr my college-studies, I became a lecturer in Mathematicsin the Annamalai University in June 1960, with strongrecommendations from my esteemed Professors V.GanapathyIyer and G.Sankaranarayanan, though there was a problem. Asper the rules of the University, teachers of the University whohave tuft (kudumi) must wear turbans to cover their heads, whenthey teach. I thought it was total nonsense. I protested to myProfessor V.Ganapathy Iyer. He said there was no use in fighting.I could disobey, if I did not care about my job for the next year.The trouble was the then Vice Chancellor Mr.Narayanaswami Pillaihimself was wearing turban, even though he had cropped hishead. It was one of the vestiges of the British Raj, I suppose. Ineeded the job very badly. With the help of two advocates ofChidambaram, I learned to prepare and wear a turban. I nowrealized the significance of Adi Sankara’s Bhaja Govindam,especially the line, “Udaranimittam bahukrita vesham”. I had lotof dense and unwieldy hair. To confine them inside a turban wasa sort of mathematical packing-problem. I must have looked quitefunny, for I knew students were laughing behind me. One morningI arranged with the family barber to shave off all the hair on myhead. Much reluctantly, he did a fine job. Later the kudumi wastransformed into crop. My mother came from Kancheepuram.

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She was so angry with me that she did not even speak to me. Idid not have the will power to face the world. A feeling of guilthad become part of me. I thought I would punish myself by notvisiting Periaval for one full year. I did not visit him from September1960 to August 1961. After a year of unbearable mentalrestlessness, I got bold and decided that I would go and see him.Did he not already tell me, good or bad, anyone could visit him?He did not talk to me. Then I began to visit frequently. He beganto talk, but not directly to me. All that he asked and all my repliesto more queries were conveyed through one of the assistants byhis side. It was quite a strange experience for me. But I was notdiscouraged; I kept on visiting Him, whenever I had time. Finally,during a visit in June, 1962, He talked to me directly. He askedabout my mother. (Since September 1960, I had establishedwith my mother a family in Chidambaram. My father continued inthe iron-grips of Periaval). Then He asked about my job andhow much I was able to save each month. After making sure thatI was doing reasonably well, Periaval asked me, “Will you giveme biksha?” Tears from my eyes began to flood the ground andI actually wept. Periaval asked me to compose myself. “OhGod, why is this? The God who begged for me, now asks me forbiksha.” I cried and told Him that I was at his feet. Then Periavaltold me, “There is a Mahavidwan in Karaikudi. I respect him veryhighly. He has a large family. One of his sons has got admissionin M.Sc., in your University. The biksha I ask you to give is; Givethis boy boarding and lodging in your home for two years”. Isaid, with Periavall’s blessings, I would gladly undertake thisresponsibility. A few days later, the young man, Ramachandrancame to see me in my house. Ramachandran was only a fewyears younger than me. We became very good friends.Ramachandran became a member of my family. Ramachandranis a senior scientist in the Geological Survey of India. He lives inMadras. The Mahavidwan, his father, is no more. There aremany persons I know, whose lives have become enriched, inevery sense of the word, by direct and indirect associations withPeriaval.

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I got married on June 30, 1963. My wife Lakshmi and I wenton a trip to a village (Narayanapuram) near Madurai, wherePeriaval was camping and got the blessings and I managed toget Periaval’s permission to take my father from the Mutt to livewith us.

My wife and I had the pleasure of both my father and motherliving with us. By then, we shifted to a house at Annamalai Nagar,very near the campus of the University. We lived quite peacefully.In late 1966, I applied to the Columbia University for my ‘higherstudies’. I applied to the Fullbright Foundation for a travel grant.I got the fellowship in April 1967 and the travel grant in the lateJune 1967. My University refused to give me ‘Study Leave’. I didnot hesitate to resign. I did not have time to go to Periaval’scamp. I sent a letter and he sent me prasadam. I received myPh.D. Degree from the Columbia University in the city of NewYork in 1971. I remembered Periaval’s Geethopadesam to me atthe River Palar in 1955: “Get as much higher education aspossible”. I continue to be a student in the “PERIAVALUNIVERSITY”, where one learns by being eager and earnest, bypatience and persistence, by hard work, by minute observationsof people, by questions and answers, by stead-fast faith, bygetting lost in silence and meditation and by being faithful, honestand humble always.

I would like to end this article with my latest darshan ofPeriaval on January 21, 1993.

After the wedding of my eldest son Guruprasad with Sow.Vidya on January 18, 1993 at Tirupathi, we wanted to visit Periavalto have His darshan and to get His blessings. After performingKalyana Utsavam to Lord Venkateswara on January 20, 1993,we left Tirupathi the next day in the morning for Kancheepuram.We wanted to start early. But we misplaced the keys of the roomsof the Guest House where we were staying. This caused delay.

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We could leave only around 9 a.m. I told the drivers of the taxisthat we should reach Kancheepuram by 11 a.m., to be in time forPeriaval’s darshan. I assumed that Periaval would give darshanthat day! We had to go through three railway gates betweenTirupathi and Tiruttani. We got abnormally delayed because ofthe second railway gate also having been closed. I told mysambandi Rajagopal, who was sitting next to me, that I lost thehope of having darshan of Periaval on that day. At that time, aprivate car negotiated its way to the front of our car and stoppedjust before the gate. On the outside of the back window of thecar, the name ‘CHANDRASEKAR’ was written in big letters. I toldMr.Rajagopal, somewhat humorously, that unless ‘THATCHANDRASEKAR’ came to our help, the gates would not open. Ithought Rajagopal might not have understood what I said. Iexplained that unless CHANDRASEKHARENDRA SARASWATHIcame to our help, the gates would not open in time for us to be inKancheepuram. Just then, would the readers believe it, the driverof the car in front got out, went to the gate keeper, talked to himfor a minute and came back. Immediately the gate-keeper openedthe gates. The ‘Chandrasekar’ car fled through and our threetaxis followed it. When that car and our three taxis reached thethird gate, it was also found closed. I told Rajagopal that I waspraying that the same thing should happen again. It did. Aftersome more distance, the Chandrasekhar car went in a differentdirection. Rajagopal told me that the car must have belonged toa Minister or some senior official of Andhra Pradesh Government.But I told him, “it is my Periaval’s one more arrangement for me”.We reached the Kanchi Mutt at 11.40 a.m. My brother Ganapatiand his wife were there already, waiting for us. My brother toldus that we should rush to the place where Periaval was givingdarshan. By 11.50, we were all in front of Periaval. Our friendswho were by the side of Periaval, introduced us one by one. Mynewly wedded son Guruprasad and his wife and then the restgot prasadams from Periaval. The curtain was closed, soon after.Then we paid our respects to His Holiness Sri Sankara Vijayendra

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Saraswathi and His Holiness Sri Jayendra Saraswathi and gottheir blessings and prasadams and went to Madras that evening.I returned, with my second son Prabhakar, the next day to USA.

In these pages of narration of my experience with Periaval, Ihave used the words, ‘my Periaval’, Periaval, Karunamurthy andGod. I know I have not defined God (Could I have?) and I havenot attempted to prove that Periaval is God (Could I have?). Ileave these to the readers. I think that all I would say, like whatMax Mueller said of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, that Periavalis a wonderful mixture of God and Man. As for me, I am sure now,more than ever, that I lived with God for fifteen long years.

*********

In the above pages I have reproduced an article written byDr.D.Sundararaman, Mathematics Professor, Howard

University, Washington D.C. This article was published in asouvenir which was released on the occasion of the 100th

birthday of His Holiness Jagadguru Sri ChandrasekharendraSaraswathi Mahaswamigal of Sri Kanchi Kamakoti Peetam, who

lived for 100 years. His Holiness adorned the KamakotiPeetam for a span of 87 years. I am sure readers of this

article will find it interesting and inspiring.

S.CHANDRAN

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