8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

1/39

Effective Communication at Work:Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships

With Dr. Janet Mills

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

2/39

A good example of a bad example

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

3/39

People have memoriesand mouths

People happy with you

People unhappy with you

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

4/39

Three stages of interaction

1. Greeting

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

5/39

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

6/39

Three stages of interaction

3. Parting

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

7/39

4 Things people want from YOU

1. Attention

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

8/39

4 Things people want from YOU

2. Acceptance

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

9/39

4 Things people want from YOU

3. Assertion

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

10/39

4 Things people want from YOU

4. Appreciation

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

11/39

1. Attention

S = face person SQUARELY

O = Adopt an OPENposture

L = LEANforward slightly

E = Maintain EYE CONTACT

R = RELAX

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

12/39

1. Attention

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

13/39

Lousy listeners

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

14/39

1. AttentionVerbal Following

Mary was a sensible and giddy young lady, wise and

silly beyond compare. She was a slight and small

creature, yet so large that everyone who knew her

loved her. She felt rather lonely, because she lived in a

Town with no other houses or people for milesaround.

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

15/39

1. AttentionMulti-channel Nonverbal Following

Percent of impact in face-to-face comm:

Verbal = 8%

Facial = 54%

Vocal = 38%

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

16/39

1. AttentionMulti-channel Nonverbal Following

Posture, posture shifts Body movement Body orientation

Interpersonal distance Gestures Facial displays

Eye/looking behaviors Voice (vocalics) Dress

Physical appearance Touch (tactile) Object communication

Odor (olfactory) Breathing patterns BMIRS: behavioral

manifestations of internal

states

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

17/39

1. AttentionBack-channeling

VocalizationsHead nodding

Gestures

Facial expressionEye contact

Questions

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

18/39

2. Acceptance

Affirm the Nature of the Relationship

Hierarchical indicators Whos up? Down?

Immediacy indicators How close or far?

Basic respect I see you

Earned respect High esteem

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

19/39

2. AcceptanceDeveloping and Maintaining Rapport

Posture echo

Vocal echo

Interaction synchrony

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

20/39

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

21/39

2. AcceptanceResponding Verbally to Accept Messages

Paraphrase ideas

Paraphrase feelings

Express empathy

Prompt and probe

Summarize

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

22/39

Defensiveness

The NUMBER ONE PROBLEM in

communication at work

Defensiveness arises

when we feel:

Threatened

Attacked

Punished

Unjustly accused

When defensive we are

likely to experience:

Emotional agitation

Estrangement

Confusion

Aggressive and/or

passive impulses

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

23/39

Defensiveness

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

24/39

3. Assertive & supportive

communication

Focus on problems Not people

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

25/39

3. Assertive & supportive

communication

Be congruent Not incongruent

Ver

Verbal

comm

Nonverbal

comm

Thoughts

& feelings

Match these!

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

26/39

3. Assertive & supportive

communication

Be descriptive Not evaluative

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

27/39

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

28/39

3. Assertive & supportive

communication

Be specific Not global

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

29/39

3. Assertive & supportive

communication

Be conjunctive Not disjunctive

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

30/39

3. Assertive & supportive

communicationOwn your Dont

Deny what youve said

Blame others for what youdid

Stuff your feelings

Ignore what you want

Forget your

needs

Statements

ActionsFeelingsWantsNeeds

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

31/39

3. Assertive & supportive

communication

Make it two-way Not one-way

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

32/39

Assertive Skill 1: Clear Message FormatUse to:

State a complaint or problem

Request a change of behavior, policy or

procedure

Express hopes, wishes, desires

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

33/39

Tool 1: Clear Message FormatElements:

Describe

Interpret

Express/Own

Consequences

Intentions

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

34/39

Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is

ON TARGET

Use: To respond non-defensively to

feedback that is accurate and true

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

35/39

Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is

ON TARGETElements:

Listen actively

Acknowledge your error or fault

Seek more information

Create plan for positive action

Appreciate the other

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

36/39

Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is

OFF TARGET

Use: To respond non-defensively tofeedback that is inaccurate or untrue

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

37/39

Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is

OFF TARGETElements:

Listen actively

Fog the criticism

Assert

Appreciate

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

38/39

4. Appreciation

Forms of appreciation

hank Praise Rewardompliment Commend pprove

Recognize alue Noticetick up for Refer Recommend

8/13/2019 Idaho Supreme Effective Communication at Wk 10-24

39/39

Dr. Janet Mills