I'm fairly sure that the person sat next to me is reading this

but I could just be paranoid

the dignity that didn't abandon me after a suitcase rolled over my leg left the second I apologised to its owner I think of standing up but decide against it moving will either take me closer to the exit or closer to the platform either way it takes me closer to making a choice between the two I weigh up my options and choose indecision I stay slumped against the grubby wall as the automatic doors open and close

commuters pass me by trains come and go plastic seats empty and fill up again

the screen hanging above my head flickers and updates Liverpool left without me but Southampton has taken its place I think about taking the train to Southampton.

waiting for another train to Liverpool. walking out of the door and going home.

making a choice brings an end to this moment and I refuse to take responsibility for what the next one may contain I stay where I am Southampton leaves without me but Plymouth takes its place.

Inertia and Public Transport

tinted windows transform the texture of the terrain grey skies, green fields and blue collar mills all of them darkened by the glass life filtered away before they touch my eyes cold, wind and rain throw themselves my way but I am gone before they touch me dark damp protected everything outside deflected anthems of isolation numb my ears and I am their hero

Train Home

Let's play a game called guess the powder on the ground of the train platform, there are children here but their naivety can protect them better than I ever will. My limbs are working but if I can't stand up then something else clearly isn't. I know that nobody is staring at me which would be nice if I didn't also know that everyone on this fucking platform is staring at me. These songs pump the past into my ears, an afternoon in a hotel and endless lamplight nights. I was wait-ing for a train and then it arrived, I should have left it there but for no reason it has become important to document this. I make all of my deci-sions in the past tense. I want to col-lect moments one by one and display them in formaldehyde.

Over the intercom the conductor's voice sounded like a general announcement telling all of his passengers not to smoke in the toilets

But what it actually said was 'I don't want to confront you almost as much as I'm guessing you don't want to pay the fine so just do us both a favour and go back to your seat'

I was bored so I decided to hate the smug-looking man sat opposite me wearing a sheepskin jumper I also decided that I was in love with his daughter but changed my mind when he got off of the train with-out her and I realised that they were strangers

I live my life the way that people in the travellers lounge unpack their rucksacks onto the table in front of them Killing time waiting for the next connection on my journey to Away

Away is a game of solitaire that I always play but never finish Away is the last flower rising above a field of snow Away is a tortoise that Achilles will never be able to catch Away is a house that I will never be able to call my home

Put it all in the bonfire and make me a millennial Joe because I’ll sooner burn than wed the life I’ve built When it settles I’ll be long gone, taken up by the smoke until I’m beyond all sight and finally moving as fast as I’ve always craved I’ll cross the world in a blink and go sight-seeing from the stars because when the sky is within reach and all the claims on you have been turned to ash there isn’t room for anything but the present All you can do is feel every rush in every part of you and try to forget that the only way down is to crash. And when I do crash I come back to life on stairways and in train stations, almost as broken from the fall as I was from the flight. The weightlessness makes gravity feel so heavy The freedom turns duty to shackles The raw existence I left behind me makes living seem dulled I try rebuilding but it won’t last long, I am addicted to escape and there’s no rehab for apathy I am a product of my time with a short circuit mind and the world is so large I never learned how to be happy with just one piece

Escape