In the name of Allah

Scientific & Technical Scientific & Technical PresentationPresentation

Leila SharifLeila Sharif

Sharif University of TechnologyE-Mail: l_sharif@sharif.edu

http://ce.sharif.edu/courses/84-85/1/ce221/ 

The Craft of Editing

Editing isn’t a cosmetic process. It’s a thinking process.

Richard Rhodes, authorMaking of the Atomic Bomb

Although editing is a large subject, we will focus on the editing that occurs in the sign-off process

Editing documents:ReviewingLine editingOnline editingProofreading

Reducing friction:Actions by authors Actions by editors

Before editing someone’s document,you should first consider your constraints

Other Editorsof Document

Audienceof Document

Format ofDocument

Formality of Document

Process toPublish Document

Politics andEthics

Three aspects of the writing affect the way that editors assess documents

Content

Style

Form

Editing for content involves deciding what message to send

Is thecontent

complete?

Is thecontentcorrect?

Is the content

appropriate?

Editing for style involves deciding how to communicate the message

Focus onlanguage

Focus onillustration

Focus onstructure

Editing for form concerns whether the communication is properly presented

Focus ongrammar

Focus onpunctuation

Focus onusage

Focus onformat Focus on

spelling

Dispositionof

Writer

Consistencyof

Change

Importanceof

Change

Difficultyof

Change

What variables determine how muchchange you make?

A well-done edit has three characteristics:clarity, consistency, and hierarchy

hierarchymost

important

next mostimportant

leastimportant

consistency

effecteffecteffectaffect e

clarity

deletee

Last year, city engineers came up with a plan to address the tetrachloroethane-contaminated soil required to be excavated for planned thoroughfare construction that will occur within right-of-way adjacent to Building 1817, which houses the Genetics Laboratory.

devised

One convention is to circle comments,but not added words or letters

sentence too long

for

This construction / #the

*au: are you implying that Chem E contaminatedthe soil?

au*

Reducing the friction between editors and authors calls for action on both sides

Identifying pet peevesNegotiating gray areasEstablishing boundariesControlling toneUnderstanding authors

EditorsAuthors

Identifying constraintsSubmitting outlines earlyAllotting time for editorsMulling over criticisms

When editing someone’s writing, consider tone

Edit one another asyou would wish to

be editedLead with

the positive

Editor

Author

Structure Structure

of a Scientific of a Scientific DocumentDocument

Structure: the Strategy of Style

Beginning

Ending

Middle

If a man can group his ideas, then he is a writer.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Beginning

Ending

Middle

The organization of a scientific document can be viewed as a beginning, middle, and ending

TitleSummaryIntroduction

Middle Sections

ConclusionsBack Matter

Beginnings prepare readers for understanding the work

Summary tells readers whathappens in document

Introduction prepares readersfor the middle

Title orients readers todocument

A strong title orients readers toyour area of work

Effects of Humidityon the Growth of Avalanches

Effects of Humidityon the Growth

of Electron Avalanchesin Electrical Gas Discharges

A strong title also separates yourwork from everyone else's work

Studies on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper

Effects of Rhodamine-Bon the Electrodeposition

of Lead on Copper

Several names for summaries exist

Summary

Abstract

TechnicalAbstract

ExecutiveSummary

DescriptiveAbstract

InformativeAbstract

Although several names exist for summaries, there are essentially two approaches

This paper describes a new inertial navigation system for mapping oil and gas wells. In this paper, we will compare the mapping accuracy and speed for this new system against the accuracy and speed for conventional systems.

Descriptive

This paper describes a new inertial navigation system that will increase the mapping accuracy of oil wells by a factor of ten. The new system uses three-axis navigation that protects sensors from high-spin rates. The system also processes its information by Kalman filtering (a statistical sampling technique) in an on-site computer. Test results show the three-dimensional location accuracy is within 0.1 meters for every 100 meters of well depth, an accuracy ten times greater than conventional systems.

Informative

A document's introduction prepares readers for the discussion

Topic?Importance?

Introduction

Arrangement?Background?

The introduction defines the scopeand limitations of the work

Proposed Study on Effects of Alcohol

on Life Expectancy

Three classes of drinkers:non-drinkers moderate drinkersheavy drinkers

Ten-year study

Other effects,such as exercise,not considered

Medical historiesnot considered

Women may notexperience thesame effects

Men surveyed

scope

limitations

A strong introduction tells readerswhy the research is important

This paper presents a design for a platinum catalytic igniter in hydrogen-air mixtures. This igniter has application in nuclear reactors. One danger at a nuclear reactor is a loss-of-coolant accident. Such an accident can produce large quantities of hydrogen gas when hot water and steam react with zirconium fuel rods. In a serious accident, the evolution of hydrogen may be so rapid that it produces an explosive hydrogen-air mixture in the reactor containment building. This mixture could breach the containment walls and allow radiation to escape. Our method to eliminate this danger is to intentionally ignite the hydrogen-air mixture at concentrations below those for which any serious damage might result.

importance

In the middle of a report, you present your work

Choose a logicalstrategy

Make sectionsand subsections

HeadingSubheadingSubheading

HeadingSubheadingSubheadingSubheading

Heading

[Sandia, 1985]

Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports

Chronological

[Maizels, 2001]

Spatial

[Pratt & Whitney, 2000]

Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports

Parallel Parts

Corel Corporation

Flow

[Sandia, 1985]

Section headings should be descriptive and parallel

Non-ParallelNon-Descriptive

IntroductionBackgroundMarx GeneratorsLine PulseBeam GenerationTransporting BeamPelletsResultsConclusions

ParallelDescriptive

Introduction

Past Designs for Particle Beam Fusion

New Design for Particle Beam FusionCharging Marx GeneratorsForming Line PulseGenerating Particle BeamTransporting Particle BeamIrradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets

Results of New Design

Conclusions and Recommendations

When you divide a section into subsections, all the pieces should be of the same pie

New Design for Particle Beam Fusion

Charging Marx Generators

Generating Particle Beam

Pellets

New Design for Particle Beam Fusion

Charging Marx Generators

Generating Particle Beam

Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets

Organization is hidden when headings occur in a long list without secondary headings

Performance ofthe Solar One Receiver

IntroductionSteady State EfficiencyAverage EfficiencyStart-Up TimeOperation TimeOperation During Cloud TransientsPanel Mechanical SupportsTube LeaksConclusion

Performance ofthe Solar One Receiver

IntroductionReceiver’s Efficiency

Steady State EfficiencyAverage Efficiency

Receiver’s Operation CycleStart-Up TimeOperation TimeOperation During Cloud Transients

Receiver’s Mechanical WearPanel Mechanical SupportsTube Leaks

Conclusion

Many journal articles follow a set organization named IMRaD

Materials and Methods

Results

Discussion

Introduction

In a strong ending, you analyze resultsand give a future perspective

Analyze results from overall perspective

ConclusionsAnalysis of Results

Several options:Make recommendationsDiscuss future workRepeat limitations

Future Perspective

Use appendices to supply backgroundfor secondary audiences

Appendix AConcern About the Greenhouse Effect

For almost a hundred years, experts have been concerned with the increasing concentrations of gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrogen oxides in the earth's lower atmosphere. These gases are natural by-products of combustion. Figure A-1 illustrates the correlation between global temperature and carbon dioxide concentrations...

Use appendices to supply secondary or tangential information to primary readers

Appendix BProject Stormfury

In 1961, the United States Weather Bureau and the Department of Defense (Navy) began a project to reduce the strength of hurricanes. The project, called Project Stormfury, uses cloud seeding, a process used to produce rainfall and reduce hail in thunderstorms. In Project Stormfury, silver iodide crystals, similar in structure to ice, are dispersed by airplanes in the upper reaches of cloud formations just outside the hurricane's eye where the winds are highest. Initial results showed that wind speeds decreased between 15–30% after seedings...

Glossary

burst point: the exact point in space where an atomic bomb is detonated.

clear visibility: a viewing range of twenty miles.

fallout: the descent to the Earth's surface of radioactive particles from a cloud contaminated with the fission products of a nuclear explosion.

hypocenter: the point on the earth's surface directly below the burst point; also called ground zero.

For secondary readers, use a glossaryto define unfamiliar terms

Failing to cite the contribution of others can be a fatal flaw in your career

James Watson surreptitiously looked at Rosalind Franklin’s work

[Franklin, 1952]

Watson did not give enough credit to Franklin

[Luzzati, 1950]

IllustrationsIllustrations

Keep it as simple as possible, yet no simpler.

Albert Einstein

Illustration:The Meshing of

Words With Images

X-ray photograph of DNA [Rosalind Franklin, 1952]

Table 1. Reactor power levels in Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991].

Date Time Power Level

4/25 1:00 am 3200 MW

4/25 2:00 pm 1600 MW

4/25 11:10 pm 1600 MW

4/26 1:00 am 30 MW

4/26 1:19 am 200 MW

4/26 1:23 am 2,000,000 MWFigure 1. Simplified diagram of nuclear reactor [Wolfson, 1991].

CoolantLoss Reactor

Vessel

Core

Pressurizer

SteamGenerator

Two types of illustrations exist: tables and figures

Table 2. Sequence of events in the Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991].

April 25

April 25

April 25

April 26

April 26

April 26

Date Time Power Level Event

1:00 a.m.

2:00 p.m.

11:10 p.m.

1:00 a.m.

1:19 a.m.

1:23 a.m.

3200 MW

1600 MW

1600 MW

30 MW

200 MW

2,000,000 MW

Operators begin power descent

Power descent delayed for 9 hoursEmergency core-cooling system disconnected

Operators switch off automatic controlPower descent resumed

Power minimum reached

Operators pull rods beyond allowable limitsOperators start two additional coolant pumpsOperators violate coolant flow limits

Power surges by factor of 10,000 in 5 seconds

Tables can present words as well as numbers

When presenting numerical data, youchoose between tables and graphs

Time(hour)

midnight2:004:006:008:00

10:00noon2:004:006:008:00

10:00

Normal(mg/dl*)

100.393.688.2

100.5138.6102.4

93.8132.3103.8

93.6127.8109.2

Diabetic(mg/dl)

175.8165.7159.4

72.1271.0224.6161.8242.7219.4152.6227.1221.3

Table 2. Blood glucose levels [Carlson, 1982].

* decaliters/milligram

Figure 11. Blood glucose levels for normal individual and diabetic [Carlson, 1982].

Hour12:00 6:00 am 12:00 6:00 pm 12:00

BloodGlucoseLevel(mg/dl)

300

250

200

150

100

50

0

BreakfastLunch Dinner

Normal

Diabetic

Temperature(K)

Distance From Burner (mm)

Figure 3. Computational and experimental temperatures for laminar diffusion flames [Sandia, 1987].

ExperimentSimulation

2000

1500

1000

500

00 2 4 6 8 10

Line graphs are common in engineering and science

Figure 4. Response of T-cells in cosmonauts after short-term and long-term flights [Konstantinova, 1991].

Cells%

Flight Duration (Days)

10

20

30

7-10

112–175 211–366

Normal range

Bar graphs compare wholes

Figure 5. Schedule for the construction, evaluation, and production phases of the Solar One Power Plant.

Task 1979 1981 1983 1985 1987 1989

Construction

Test and Evaluation

Power Production

Gantt charts are a type of bar charts

Industrial wastes(28%)

Medical and research wastes(16%)

Power reactor wastes(64%)

Power ReactorIndustrialMedicalGovernment

Government wastes(2%)

Figure 5. Volume of low-level nuclear wastes from various sources [League, 1985].

Pie graphs compare parts of a whole

Figure 6. Estimated annual dose of radiation in the United States [GPU Nuclear, 1985].

Average dose: 160 mrem

NaturalSources

MedicalSources

85 mrem

70 mrem

{Fallout: < 3mremOccupational: < 1mremNuclear power: < 1mrem

Graphs come in many forms

When presenting images, you choose between photographs, drawings, and diagrams

Compressor

Combustor1

2 3

4

Turbine

The main advantage of photographs is realism

Figure 2. Space Shuttle Challenger, from about 59 seconds to 60 seconds into launch (January 28, 1986). On the right rocket, flame first becomes visible and then impinges on tank.

59 seconds

59.5 seconds

60 seconds

One advantage of drawings is control of detail

Figure 5. Wind tunnel experiment at Virginia Tech for evaluating film-cooling designs for the blades of gas turbine engines [Thole and others, 2000].

SecondaryFlow

PrimaryFlow

SecondaryFlow

Turbine Vanes

Combustor Simulator

Dilution Jet

Film-Cooling Holes

The main advantage of a diagram is the ability to show flow of a variable through a system

Figure 8. Schematic of test stand for evaluating components of an air conditioner design.

Figure 5. Schematic of thermalstorage system.

RECEIVER

FLASHTANK

HPHTR

DEAR-ATOR

HOTWELL

TSSG

TURBINE

TSU

DSPH

TSH

FT

The thermal storage system stores heat in a huge, steel-walled tank. Steam from the solar receiver passes through heat exchangersto heat the thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity. A schematic of this system is shown in Figure 5.

Scientists and engineers often use illustrationsthat are too complex for the text

The thermal storage system, shown in Figure 6, stores heat in a huge, steel-walled tank. Steam from the solar receiver heats a thermal oil, which is pumped into the tank. The tank then provides energy to run a steam generator to produce electricity.

Figure 6. Schematic of thermal storage system for the solar power plant.

steamgenerator

650°F 580°F

425°F435°F

solarreceiver

575°F

425°F

530°F

250°F

ThermalTank

HeatExchanger

HeatExchanger

The precision of the illustrationsshould reflect the precision of the text

Figure 7. Title of figure. Some formats allow you extra sentences to explain unusual details.

..., as shown in Figure 7.

For clarity, you should introduce andexplain illustrations in the text

The testing hardware of the rocket shown in Figure 8 has five main components: camera, digitizer, computer, I/O interface, and mechanical interface. Commands are generated by the computer, then passed through the I/O interface to the mechanized interface where the keyboard of the ICU is operated. The display of the ICU is read with a television camera and then digitized. This information is then manipulated by the computer to direct the next command.

PRINTERCONTROLTERMINAL

COMPUTERDIGITIZER

CAMERA

ELECTRO-MECHANICALINTERFACE

ROCKET

Figure 8. Testing hardware.

Inconsistencies between text andimages disrupt fluidity

Our system for testing the launch controls of the rocket consists of four main parts: computer, electro-mechanical interface, camera, and digitizer. In this system (shown in Figure 9), the computer generates test commands to the rocket through the electro-mechanical interface. The test results are read with a television camera, and then digitized. The computer receives the information from the digitizer, and then directs the next test command.

Figure 9. System to test launch controls for rocket.

CameraDigitizer

ComputerElectro-MechanicalInterface

1 2

34

Rocket

Illustration is the meshing of words with images