InterpersonalCommunication

Alysia B. Mizelle

Liberty University

HSCO 508

Introduction

• Interpersonal communication

• Overarching goal

• Enlarging the conversation

• Background

• Behavior blend

• Potential barriers

• Solutions to noise pollution

• Plan of action

What is interpersonal

communication?Talking and listening among people in a way that

maximizes the presence of the personal.

(Stewart, 2009)

Overarching Goal (OAG)

• To become a better listener, not only listening with my ears but with my heart. Listening to God as He speaks to me and guides me on this journey to being all that He calls me to be.

• Level one listener, one who is empathetic, refrains from judging, aware and in the present moment, not letting oneself be distracted, shows verbal and nonverbal skills.

(Burley-Allen, 1995)

Enlarging the conversation

Let’s get outside of our “comfort box” and begin to do new things to actively enhance our thoughts and our feelings.

• More public speaking

• Offer seminars

• Be more open

• Speak from my heart

• Listen to God

Who am I?

• Daughter• Mother• Sister• Aunt• Friend• Social Worker• Coach• Above all…Child of God

Behavior Blend

• This four quadrant model of basic human behavior helps explain why people do what they do.

• Each type is independent of the others, but are also related in ways.

(Carbonell, 2008)

Closer look at my blendC/I/S

This is expected of me: “S” type• Think people expect me to be more sensitive

and submissive

• Like blending in with the crowd

• Loyal and friendly

• Act like people want me to be more reserved in public

• Often think I need to serve humanity and do what I am told rather than challenge others

• Humble spirit and quiet demeanor

This is me: C/I/S• More passive than active

• Strong people skills

• Outgoing and reserved

• Life of the party or the quiet spectator

• Like to influence and interact with people

• People like my friendliness, enthusiasm and cordiality

Uniquely You Assessment

• I am extremely adept at interpreting other people’s words & actions.

• I realize that empathy is important.

• I can generally get a good sense of other’s thoughts.

Impact of my background on conversation

Positively• Single mother- respect

• Poor- empathy

• Raised in the North & South- diversity

Negatively• Single mother- affects

conversation with males

• Poor- independent/proud

• Raised in North & South- intolerant

Impacts of my blend on converation

Positively• Friendships

• Seldom have enemies

• Submissive

• Demeanor

Negatively• Marriages

• Overuse my willingness

• Please others

• No outward emotions

Potential Barriers

• Biased listening (Burley-Allen, 1995 p.55)

• Interrupter (Burley-Allen, 1995 p.61)

• External distractions (Burley-Allen, 1995 p.68)

• Rescuing others (Burley-Allen, 1995 p.113)

• Failure to express myself (Stewart, 2012 p.221)

• Speaking the heart of the matter (Stewart, 2012 p.222)

Overcoming barriers

• Psalms 139:14 “I will praise thee, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

• II Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

• Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”

(New King James Bible)

Overcoming barriers (cont.)

• Select proper environments

• Be ok with not “rescuing”

• Use the “bite my tongue” method

• Wait for talker’s signal before speaking

• No judgements

• Remember that what I have to say matters

Noise pollution: unwanted or harmful noise

Internal• Past experience filters

• Personal life

• Values & beliefs

• Emotions

External• Location

• Mannerisms

• Talker’s speech

• Time

Solutions to Noise pollution

• Awareness

• Past experiences cannot dictate listening skills

• Nonjudgmental

• Positive attitude

• Remembering purpose

• Location/ Time

• Focus on the words

• Ask for clarity

Plan of action

• Self-Awareness- know when I need to say no

• Create an environment conducive for conversation

• Focus on the talker

• Time management

• Listen with purpose

• Speak from my heart

• Admit ignorance

• Allow space

(Peterson, 2007)

Plan of action (cont.)

• Giving myself some slack

• Repeat with accuracy

• Remembering there is only one savior

• Enhance my relationship with God

Bibliography