IntimacyChapter 3

Hanging Out, Messing Around, and Geeking Out

Kaitlyn Creney

Same Theory New Application

“While courtship norms and practices are less formal and more varied than they were in the early and mid-twentieth century, our research on teens’ new media use shows that the rituals are no less elaborate or important than those of their historical counterparts” (118).

Basically a framework has been in place for generations and those same standards or dating wants/needs are not only relevant act as the same guiding force.

Origins of Formal Courtship Era of the Industrial Revolution sparked

the rituals that last today.

The development, and recognition, of the life stage of adolescence also created explicit dating norms.

In the 1950s the contemporary teen dating culture had been established. Influenced by: working-class “calling,” involvement in public schools, school dances, and the independence allowed by the car.

Characteristics of Teen Relationships

Use of symbols to construct their unified and external image as a couple (exchange of class rings etc.)

Want public recognition from their peers

Want independence from parents

Want to be able to label the relationship as they see fit (shift from courtship to hanging out with someone)

Mediated Dating

Social Media Fulfilling Fundamental Needs

Social media sites provide the communal aspect that is missing in today’s fragmented society.

Here the external construction of a couple takes place. The development of an image comes from status updates, pictures, and posts.

This perpetuates the need for public recognition which is satisfied by the number of likes or comments.

Social Media Independence

Technology supersedes time and space.

Parents are almost excluded from the social media sphere.

There is a generational divide in tech. literacy that prohibits them from monitoring teen’s interactions.

Passwords as an advancement for teen privacy.

Social MediaControl

These environments allow the individual to have more control over their actions and emotions.

Both careful construction and analysis goes into a message. Diction is a sign of teen’s activeness.

Saving face based techniques and technology.

Social MediaVetting

Selective sociality- teens are making choices about who to communicate with and allow to be affiliated with.

The Internet allows someone to do their research on who they are interested in.

Trivial information, such as similar tastes in film, is what guides the idea that a match would be compatible.

Mutual friends are a great unifier in the linking process.

IntimacyNegotiations

How are you going to be seen as an individual and as part of a couple?

Choices in digital symbolism.

Boundaries: Whatis private? What ispublic?

Implicit Guidelines

Must meet or have an interaction with someone offline before initiating contact online.

Loose online connection can provide the perfect context for flirting or feeling the other person out. Only considered a relationship when moved offline.

Sharing of password(s) and granting access to online sphere is a monumental indicator of trust.

Breaking up via online is disrespectful and harmful.

Advantages of Medium

Allows marginalized teens to meet others like themselves.

Is flexible to our continually connected nature.

Ability to surpass geographical or institutional constraints (different states, schools, parental issues etc.)

Allows more control over external appearance, reduction in anxiety.

Disadvantages of Medium

“Leash” factor. Intimacy in an online context carries the burden of frequent contact and updates.

Conflict arises more frequently and publically.

Highly efficient stalkers, indirect control of a an ex. When monitoring or posting leads to emotional control or abuse.

Impact

Contemporary teen intimacy practices need to be analyzed as they shape the dating/intimacy standards for the next generation.

They also have an effect on overall societal relations.

“The new possibilities of self-expression available online, characterized by more casual and personal forms of public communication, complicate our existing norms about the boundaries between the public and the private” (147).

Kaitlyn Creney