IPR1.PPTlecture_Conway -English Speaking Course Lucknow (CDI) –

8/8/2019 IPR1.PPTlecture_Conway -English Speaking Course Lucknow (CDI) www.cdilucknow.blogspot.com

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Understanding InterpersonalUnderstanding Interpersonal

RelationshipsRelationships


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What makes communicationWhat makes communication

Interpersonal?Interpersonal? Context:Context:

all twoall two--person (dyadic) interaction is interpersonalperson (dyadic) interaction is interpersonal

Quality not Quantity is what countsQuality not Quantity is what counts Qualitative:Qualitative:

When two people treat each other as uniqueWhen two people treat each other as uniqueindividuals regardless of the contextindividuals regardless of the context

Interpersonal relationship:Interpersonal relationship: When two people meet one anothers social needsWhen two people meet one anothers social needs


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Content vs. Relational MessagesContent vs. Relational Messages

Every verbal msg. contains two kinds of msgs.Every verbal msg. contains two kinds of msgs.

Content:Content: Focuses on a subject being discussedFocuses on a subject being discussed

Clean your room, Put gas in the car, Pay the rent $Clean your room, Put gas in the car, Pay the rent $

Relational:Relational:

Shows how the parties feel about each otherShows how the parties feel about each other Deal with 1 or more social needsDeal with 1 or more social needs

InclusionInclusion ControlControlAffectionAffection

RespectRespect


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Relational Messages contd.Relational Messages contd.

Relational messages are often conveyedRelational messages are often conveyed

nonverballynonverbally

Remember than nonverbal communicationRemember than nonverbal communicationcan be difficult to interpret (ambiguous)can be difficult to interpret (ambiguous)

Use Perception checking to clarify meaningUse Perception checking to clarify meaning


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MetacommunicationMetacommunication

Metacommunication:Metacommunication:

Communication about communicationCommunication about communication

Discussing our relationship is metacommunicationDiscussing our relationship is metacommunication Uses for metacommunicationUses for metacommunication

It is essential in successful relationshipsIt is essential in successful relationships

Method of solving conflicts constructivelyMethod of solving conflicts constructively

Shift discussion from content to relational questionsShift discussion from content to relational questions Relational issues are usually where problems are foundRelational issues are usually where problems are found

It sounds like youre angry with meIt sounds like youre angry with me

I appreciate your honesty with meI appreciate your honesty with me


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IntimacyIntimacy

Intimacy usually refers to closeness.Intimacy usually refers to closeness. Can appear on different levels:Can appear on different levels:

Physical: athletic events, emergenciesPhysical: athletic events, emergencies

Intellectual: exchange of important ideasIntellectual: exchange of important ideas

Emotional: exchange of important feelingsEmotional: exchange of important feelings

Shared activitiesShared activities


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Intimacy and GenderIntimacy and Gender

Women value emotional expression as aWomen value emotional expression as apath to intimacy. Men value doing things,path to intimacy. Men value doing things,

such as activities, other than talking.such as activities, other than talking.


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Intimacy and CultureIntimacy and Culture

Differences in culture can lead toDifferences in culture can lead toproblems in intimacy in terms of both theproblems in intimacy in terms of both the

need for it and how to reach it. Differentneed for it and how to reach it. Differentdisclosure rates can impact this variable.disclosure rates can impact this variable.


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Relational DevelopmentRelational Development

Knapps Developmental Model: A tenKnapps Developmental Model: A tenstage model, separated into comingstage model, separated into coming

together and coming apart sections, thattogether and coming apart sections, thatexplains relational development.explains relational development.


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Ten Stages of RelationalTen Stages of Relational

DevelopmentDevelopment1.1. Initiating: Making contact with another personInitiating: Making contact with another person2.2. Experimenting: emergence of smallExperimenting: emergence of small--talktalk

3.3. Intensifying: expression of feelings; spendingIntensifying: expression of feelings; spendingmore time togethermore time together

4.4. Integrating: Identity as one social unit isIntegrating: Identity as one social unit iscreatedcreated

5.5. Bonding: symbolic public gestures to showBonding: symbolic public gestures to showcommitmentcommitment


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Ten Stages of RelationalTen Stages of Relational

Development, cont.Development, cont.6. Differentiating: re6. Differentiating: re--establish individualestablish individual

identityidentity

7. Circumscribing: shrinking interest and7. Circumscribing: shrinking interest andcommitmentcommitment

8. Stagnation: boredom8. Stagnation: boredom

9. Avoiding: when stagnation becomes9. Avoiding: when stagnation becomesunpleasantunpleasant

10. Termination: ending10. Termination: ending


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Characteristics of RelationalCharacteristics of Relational

Development & MaintenanceDevelopment & Maintenance Relationships are constantly changingRelationships are constantly changing Movement is always to a new placeMovement is always to a new place


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SelfSelf--DisclosureDisclosure

Definition: deliberately revealingDefinition: deliberately revealinginformation about oneself that isinformation about oneself that is

signification and that would not normallysignification and that would not normallybe known to othersbe known to others

Deliberate: purposefulDeliberate: purposeful

Significant: revealing important informationSignificant: revealing important information Not known to othersNot known to others


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SelfSelf--disclosuredisclosure

Reciprocation and development of aReciprocation and development of arelationship are the most common reasonsrelationship are the most common reasons

for selffor self--disclosuredisclosure


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Social Penetration ModelSocial Penetration Model

(Altman & Taylor)(Altman & Taylor) Concerned with two factors that determineConcerned with two factors that determine

the intimacy of interpersonal relationshipsthe intimacy of interpersonal relationships

Breadth: range of subjects being discussedBreadth: range of subjects being discussed

Depth: shift from nonrevealing messages toDepth: shift from nonrevealing messages tomore personal onesmore personal ones


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Johari WindowJohari Window

(Luft & Ingham)(Luft & Ingham) Four components that make up what oneFour components that make up what one

knows about him/herself and what othersknows about him/herself and what others

know about him or herknow about him or her Open: both you and the other are aware ofOpen: both you and the other are aware of

Blind: you are unaware, but the other is notBlind: you are unaware, but the other is not

Hidden: you are aware, but arent willing toHidden: you are aware, but arent willing to

share with othersshare with others Unknown: both you and the other are notUnknown: both you and the other are not

unawareunaware


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Characteristics of EffectiveCharacteristics of Effective

SelfSelf--disclosuredisclosure Influenced by cultureInfluenced by culture Usually occurs in dyadsUsually occurs in dyads Usually symmetricalUsually symmetrical Occurs incrementallyOccurs incrementally Large amounts of selfLarge amounts of self--disclosure aredisclosure are

usually unnecessaryusually unnecessary

SelfSelf--disclosure is usually scarcedisclosure is usually scarce


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Guidelines for AppropriateGuidelines for Appropriate

SelfSelf--disclosuredisclosure Is the other important?Is the other important? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?

Are the amount and type of disclosureAre the amount and type of disclosureappropriate?appropriate? Is the disclosure relevant to the situation atIs the disclosure relevant to the situation at

hand?hand?

Is the disclosure reciprocated?Is the disclosure reciprocated? Will the effect be constructive?Will the effect be constructive? Is the selfIs the self--disclosure clear and understandable?disclosure clear and understandable?


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Alternatives to selfAlternatives to self--disclosuredisclosure

LiesLies White lies: harmless or even helpfulWhite lies: harmless or even helpful

EquivocationEquivocation Intentionally vagueIntentionally vague

Two or more equally plausible meaningsTwo or more equally plausible meanings

HintingHinting More direct that equivocal statementsMore direct that equivocal statements Get a desired response from othersGet a desired response from others

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