VENI-I CAME, VEDI-I SAW,VICI -I CONQUERED.

Modesrah Ahmed

Mott Community College

Professor Michele Dunnum

16th February 2012

LAND Conference 2012

I-search VS. Research

Personal Interest General Interest

I-SEARCH RESEARCH

My heritage

PakistanUSA England

Mixed Blessings

Arranged or Forced Marriage?

“One that is done with the consent of both partners” (Anitha166)*

“One where either one party does not agree or only does so under duress” (Uddin and Ahmed, as qtd in Anitha 166)*

ARRANGED FORCED

*Coercion, Consent and the Forced Marriage Debate in the UK

Don’t interfere, its our culture/religion!

The Prophet Muhammad said, ‘A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her’*

• Sahih Bukhari

WHY AGREE TO ARRANGED MARRIAGE?

The individuals needs, interests and

happiness are secondary to the interests of the family and community” (Kurian, as qtd in Zaidi 496)*.

NO.1 REASON:Parental Obligation (Zaidi 506)*

*Journal of Comparative Family Studies

Staying in abusive marriages

Psychosocial

Economic

Cultural

(Gharaibeih 376)

“Income was the strongest indicator of whether a woman stayed or left” (Gharabeih 377)

Process of Leaving

1. Saturation 2. Khula

3. Disapproval Reclaim

(Hassouneh-Phillips (2001) as qtd in Gharaibeih 378).

Staying in an Abusive Marriage “Lack of support was reported to be a

significant cultural reason why women stayed with their husbands” (Gharaibeih 380)

“Your hell rather than the heaven of my home”*

“A girl should leave her parents’ home in a palanquin and only return in a coffin-bed”

*(Gharaibeih 380)

Need to be Needed

Emotional Dependency:

Cognitive Motivational Behavioral Affective

“The complex relationship between dependency and domestic violence”, Robert Bornstein (598).

Empowerment

Sabotage ECONOMIC EMPOWERMENT

=

FREEDOM Criticize

“Contextualizing Women Domestic Violence Survivors' Economic and Emotional Dependencies” (Chronister).

I am from a rainbow after the storm

Beckoning towards a new beginning

A path that leads to happiness

From the realization of the preciousness of sanity

Where I am Now