Issue 164

FREEVolume 9Issue 164

May 21, 2009

SoftballDreams

SoftballDreams

SoftballDreams

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164�

Editorial

Marketing/Sales

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Blake Auler-Murphy [email protected] 608.797.6370

Editor:Adam Bissen [email protected]

Student Editor:Ben Clark [email protected]

Music Editor:Jason LaCourse [email protected]

Graphic Design:Matt Schmidt [email protected]

Columnists:Amber Miller [email protected] Emerson [email protected] [email protected]

Contributors:Jacob Bielanski, Erich Boldt, Nicholas Cabreza,Andrew Colston, Ashly Conrad, Emily Faeth,Brandon Fahey, El Jefe, Emma Mayview, Briana Rupel, Noah Singer, Bob Treu, Nate Willer

Publisher Mike Keith [email protected]

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Second Supper is a community weekly published 48 times per year on Thursdays. All content is property of Second Supper Newspaper, LLC and may not be reprintedor re-transmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent ofSecond Supper Newspaper, LLC.

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Over 250 Distribution Locations Overall Including:

May �1, �009 �

I don’t know about the rest of ya’lls, but ‘round here we got round ball fever (and I do realize that balls, by definition, are round, and that oblong footballs are only balls by American arro-gance, but just the same this Brett Favre saga makes us loathe the game even more). It’s sum-mertime, baby! The grass is green, and the brats are grilled. Where I come from — Uh-merica! — that means it’s time to watch baseball. The Brewers, the Loggers, hell even Central High School have some of the most exciting athletes in their leagues. Watching those guys score runs or play defense is like seeing a factory move in perfect synchronicity. But where I go to — tav-erns! — summer does not involve hitting curve balls, sprinting great distances, or throwing out my arm because some Charlie Hustle decides to beat out a bunt down the third base line. No sir, we play softball ‘round here. While there is plenty of dispute about the origins of baseball — the war hero Abner Doubleday myth was discredited long ago — softball is most definitely America’s game. Accord-ing to Briana Rupel’s cover story this week, a Chicagoan invented softball way back in the 1800s. (Whether he celebrated with an Old Style and a Polish sausage is unclear, but probable.) And Midwesterners, it seems, have been playing the game ever since. Maybe it’s our community spirit or our love of the outdoors or the fact that there isn’t a whole lot else going on, but people up here just love going to softball games. You can catch up with your neighbors or chain smoke in one of the shrinking public spheres where cigs are still permitted. Or at least you can behind the dugouts — our league is trying to spiffy up the image of its players; no drinks or smokes ‘til after the game. As for team Popcorn/Second Supper/Friends of Popcorn & Second Supper, we could use a little spiffying up. Three weeks into our Park & Rec season, we’re sitting at a less than respect-able 0-3 record, but I felt like we were in the games most of the time. We just have breakdowns, like the pre-‘08 Milwaukee Brewers. I’m not sure what the Cornerstone Church team did to hang 11 runs on us in a single inning last week, but it was quite dispiriting. The bar teams haven’t laid it on us so thick, but they sure have some mongoloids who know how to crush a softball. Team Popcorn, we play small ball. Nobody can hit it very far, but we score most of our runs by being aggressive on the base paths — that or distracting opponents with our ironic caps, wild locks, and seductive stubble. But win or lose (err, I guess it’s just lose), we always have fun when we play. That's just our Sconnie nature.

— Adam Bissen

Letter from the Editor

TABLE OF CONTENTS

THIS PAGE ..................................... MEGAN HOFER ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,................ GAMEFEST ..................................... IMMUNITY ....................................... HATE FEST ..................................... SHAKEDOWN ................................. ADVERTISEMENT ...........................ADVERTISEMENTS .......................SOFTBALL .................................... ALL THAT JAZZ ............................ KICKAPOO PERU ......................... ANGELS & DEMONS .................... QUADRIPARITE ............................COMMUNITY SERVICE ...........ROCK OUT! ..................................

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101112131415

16-1718

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Gift CertificatesBooks By Local AuthorsBest SellersLa Crosse History BooksWisconsin History BooksDo It Yourself BooksChildrens BooksCraftsman Books

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Daily Food SpecialsGreat Bloody Marys

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 1644

Social Networking

NAME AND AGE: Megan Hofer, 31

BIRTHPLACE:Ft. Knox KY, SOLID GOLD, BABY. recently naturalized citizen of earth

CURRENT JOB: I get by...

DREAM JOB: Tarbender @ Shuggypop's titty bar, but I'd settle for freelance eco-/adventure-travel writing/consulting/photographing

COVETED SUPERPOWER: Multi-location

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Comfortably in my skin, outside of my mind FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT:They're all pretty tasty, in moderation...

FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: Still tryin 'em on for size...

TELL US A JOKEI'm organized and punctual

thetop Second Supper’s finally on the so-

cial networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next per-son interviewed, and so it shall continue. You see? We really are all connected.

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1. More lakes than Minnesota 2. Yes, you'll have another!3. Blaze orange for all seasons4. Have some hotdish5. Whatchu doin' o'er dere?6. More cushion for the pushin'7. Now 90% FIB free

Music festival essentials

1. Your tickets2. Bloody Mary mix3. Toilet paper4. Money 5. Backpacking stove6. Glow-in-the-dark bocce balls7. Sliced fruit

Games that try to be as cool as softball, but aren't

1. Tennis2. Darts3. American League baseball4. Mini golf 5. Tether ball6. Rugby7. NBA playoffs

CELEBRITY CRUSH:Christian Bale (from WAY back when I was 14 and he was in BBC shows)

TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: Taking all the time I need...

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING?(listening to) Don Miguel Ruiz' "The Voice of Knowledge"

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Both not really a concert, but either a Pie Tasters/Toasters show at the 9:30 Club in Georgetown DC, or the HFStival in DC

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Can't remember

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?Nothing

HOW DO YOU KNOW ALEX?We hitchhiked the galaxy together long ago...

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WHAT: GamefestWHERE: La Crosse Public Library,WHEN: Sunday, May 24, noon-??

If mom calls, tell her I’m at the library. No, REALLY. The LIBRARY library. Blow off the fam and spend a day with your fellow sLAXrs at La Crosse Public Library’s first all-day gamefest for adults, Sunday May 24, from noon till brain-melt. Who needs crappy beer, 3-bean salad and a sunburn when you can be a shredmaster on Guitar Hero or pwn some n00b in Street Fighter, from the air-conditioned comfort of the library basement. You can also waste your time on PS2 WII, Xbox 360, TF2, COD4, CS:S and BF2. D&D for you analog types. Don't bring your own rig as the li-brary has 16 machines for you to grace with your Doritos crusted fingers. Registration/library card not required. 18 years and older only. Shush-free zone. For more info www.lacrosseli-brary.org/adultgaming

— Rochelle HartmanInformation Services Manager

Second SupperClassifieds

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National marketing company seeks full time sales leaders who can sell ice to an Eskimo. Call Lexie at 608-782-8586.

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Mommy Madness

When you become a parent, you learn to take the good with the bad. After a time, it becomes clear that sometimes the good and the bad are sort of the same. Good: when the little one runs to you for a sweet hug. Bad: when the child’s sweet little hug was just a clever ploy to cover your shoulder in snot. Good: when the child has tons of fun playing with other kids at daycare. Bad: when the kid brings home millions of germs daily that may or may not develop into illness, and that may or may not develop into illness for Mommy, too! But that last bad is actually a good thing in disguise. In my pre-Mommy days, I had a decent immune system, I guess. I’m young and usu-ally healthy, but I had my fair share of sniffles and colds. If I was around a sick person, I had a pretty good shot of coming down with the affliction as well. Since my son has come along, though, it seems I’ve gotten some kind of tur-bo-charged Mommy immune system. As far as I can remember (side-note: immune system gets better, but memory gets worse), I’ve only been laid-out, sick as a dog, death-knocking-on-door sick one time in the boy’s eighteen months of life. And even then, I recovered far more quickly than I would have imagined. I attribute this magical immunity to three child-induced factors: one is that he brings home lots and lots of germs and is very gener-ous with them. If you’ve ever gotten a kiss from a toddler, you know what I mean. He just comes flying at your face with his mouth wide open; he has really nice intentions, to be sure, but he just hasn’t learned the art of puckering those lips yet. A kiss from a little kid pretty much re-sults in a lot of saliva all over the place. He also doesn’t quite know how to blow his nose yet, although I did discover him in the bathroom unrolling the toilet paper and putting it up to his face, so maybe he’s getting the hang of it. Anyways, his not entirely functional nose-blow-ing skills leave that responsibility to me, and if we’re caught without a tissue, on Mommy’s sleeve it goes. Gross, sure, but less gross than the kid licking his own snot. Yep, toddlers are a disgusting crowd. And if a child spends some time at daycare like mine does, they all get to be disgusting together. There are around seven other kids at my son’s daycare — that’s a lot of germ sharing. So when he brings home the melt-ing pot of bacteria and viruses, I’m exposed to a whole encyclopedia of illnesses. If you know anything about immune systems, you know that this a good thing in reality, provided you have a fairly functional immune system. Being exposed to small doses of bacteria and viruses give the immune system a chance to practice: certain cells are responsible for recognizing invaders and raising the red flag of alert to killer cells. If

the immune system gets plenty of practice, as mine certainly does, it has a thicker reference book of invading pathogens and can attack and kill off any impending infections more effec-tively and quickly. So thanks, germy children, for helping me out there! Another factor in my new super power immunity is more than likely mental. I simply don’t have the time to spend being sick, espe-cially since I’m a single mom. If I’m too sick to take care of myself…well, that doesn’t really work out. Certainly I have help if I really need it, but the fact of the matter is that my son needs me, specifically, more often than not. And I don’t do so well if I’m away from him for too long, either. This leads me to have an extremely positive mental outlook on my health, which undoubtedly has a significant impact on my real, physical health. If you start to feel a little under the weather and just concede to the illness, chances are great that you’re going to get a lot sicker, whereas if you refuse to give in, it really does give the immune system an extra push. Positive thinking does a world of good physi-cally (and hey, naysayers: there’s science behind that statement, so stow the talk about it being wacky hippie stuff). It’s sort of like being the im-mune system’s cheerleader — it’s not directly doing much, but it has a serious impact on the outcome. Just don’t believe in getting sick and you won’t, at least not as often. The final factor in the new and improved, not sick me is that having a kid to take care of inspired me to take better care of myself. I was never too awful to the state of my health, but I did a decent amount of junk food eating, and the occasional whisky drink wasn’t beyond me. If I wasn’t feeling good, I usually reached for some pharmaceutical cure. Not so, anymore: I don’t have time or energy to cook separate food for the little fella and I’m pretty gung-ho about him eating super-healthily, so anything I eat, he eats. This translates into a diverse and healthful diet for me. I also started thinking twice about medicines that go into my body, especially when I was nursing. I tend to avoid pharmaceuticals at all costs now and turn to natural remedies instead. We spend as much time as we can outside, too, so I’m walking in the marsh or hiking around Hixon with a twenty-pound kid on my back daily. I’m set, as far as taking care of myself goes. I always wondered how my mom never got sick, and now that I’ve joined the Mommy ranks, the mystery is revealed: the kid’s germs and your own mental and physical health im-provements come together in a powerful way to elevate the immune system into something glorious.

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Immunity

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$10 At Door“Why is it that they call it taking a dump and not leaving a dump? After all, you’re not taking it anywhere!” And with that Beavis and Butt-head line, I begin this collection of Two Minute Hates on things that are pissing me off as of late. Death to Goldstein!

n Where is it written that fans of anime and manga are required to be creepy, subliterate nonbathers? I know some fine human beings who are into the styles and can hold conver-sations about more than their favorite super happy time vampire/ninja academies. But man, the probabilities definitely favor fulfilled ste-reotypes. I’m very guilty of being a comic book nerd — and yeah, some comics definitely get into the consequenceless territory of pro wrestling — but no comic I’ve ever read had a title or subject matter as insipid (and colorless!) as Prince of Tennis, Kitchen Princess, or my per-sonal favorite, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. As with all forms of entertainment, there are diamonds in the rough, but sheer xenophilia can only cover so many sins. Kids get a pass on this because reading is (in theory) a growing process. Even the most trite literature can left-turn a person into some heady ideas. But people my age and above who lurk exclusively in Japanophile Acres tend to be off the diving board — adult infants, mashing chips into their mouths and wiping their greasy fingers all over unpaid-for pages. I don’t usu-ally support age-appropriate behavior, but read your age, not your shoe size.n Peter Pan needs his own brand of peanut butter about as much as Captain Hook needs his own brand of mayonnaise — and I’m pretty sure that you can’t get food poisoning in Nev-erland.n Just because something rhymes doesn’t make it a sound argument. “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean” is both lame and untrue; if there’s time to lean, then every-thing’s already been done and the workers have earned a little relaxation. To insist otherwise is to display an unhealthy and addictive work ethic, and to denigrate the value of efficiency. Another fine one is “No pain, no gain,” which says about the same thing. Spitting out rhyming maxims is the verbal equivalent of farting loudly and smugly breath-ing in one’s own stink.n I find it ironic that the Obama-haters who hosted the recent Tea Parties didn’t dress up as Indians, especially when their purpose is to scapegoat a member of the opposing team. Be-ing that this was in essence a conservative pro-test, you’d think that these people would have gone full-out old school, instead of just pick-eting outside of public buildings and whining about socialism and abortion, plaid as always. If you’re going to half-ass, at least be entertain-ing. Have someone dress up as J.J. from Good

Times, at least. I’m personally hoping for nationwide re-enactments of the Boston Massacre, instead.n I’ve been struggling with a way to erase Brett Favre from the public discourse without mak-ing him a Christ-like (or at least Tupac-like) martyr, and I think I’ve come up with a solu-tion. We need to bring Tonya Harding out of re-tirement and have her crack him in the knees. Then maybe the whole of Wisconsin can stop the epileptic fit it’s been having for the last two years. Seriously, calm down.n The laws of customer service are written by people who don’t have to obey them. As such, it seems as though the marketplace is becom-ing a lopsided arena where barbarians wav-ing Jacksons and credit cards get free kicks at quadriplegics wearing vests and nametags. Just as adults are now afraid of disciplining other people’s rabid children, so are employees re-stricted from calling out boorish, sloppy, bitchy customers. Bullshit.n Demographic chic is crap. The cover of the current issue of Entertainment Weekly features American Idol’s new figurehead, Adam Lambert, sporting his adorable little emo swoop, grinning shyly at the camera. The headline proclaims him as the hero of the hour, then tosses up a pink asterisk that casually disclaims that the favorit-ism is because “he might be gay.” Right. I flipped through the article, giving it a chance to prove wrong my cynicism. While Lambert himself admirably dodges questions about his personal life and sticks to perfor-mance, the article pretty much played him off as the second coming of Clay Aiken. The sucking that I’m concerned with here doesn’t have anything to do with cock. It has to do with music, and media, and sucking UP. Once again, the content of one’s character loses out, and pandering reigns.n If you have to say that something “rocks,” it doesn’t, and more tellingly, you don’t. Very few people beyond the Scorpions, Queen, and Spi-nal Tap have ever made this word work as a verb.n Prolife billboards around Notre Dame, blast-ing the college for allowing a fucking president to deliver its commencement speech? What’s most funny about this current controversy is that the college kids — those people often dismissed by the grown-ups as being shallow, entitled brats — are airing out their grievances with the president’s beliefs in a calm, assertive, mature manner. The people being arrested at Notre Dame are not students but invaders (like Alan Keyes, whom Obama beat in 2004 Illinois Senate race,) that have hijacked the discourse for their own agendas. Seems like growing up and growing old are two separate things.

Thus concludes this week’s quaint display of Rooneyesque Rage.

Y Marks the Spot

The TwoMinute Hate

By Brett [email protected]

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Last Saturday afternoon, Kim Larson and three friends hopped into her Volkswagen Golf to make a sunny drive to Trempealeau to attend the annual Reggae Fest. They pulled into town, passed the Trempealeau Hotel, and turned on to First Street to find a place to park. But be-fore they could, a police officer activated his emergency lights and stopped the car from La Crosse. His reason? Larson’s vehicle had a “brack-et” around the license plate and a feather hang-ing from the rear-view mirror. The cop was just going to write her a warning, Larson recalled, but then the Trempealeau County K9 unit pulled up behind the car, and an officer circled the Volkswagen three times with a drug-sniffing dog. “I was like: What are you doing? Can you tell me what you’re doing, sir?” Larson remem-bered. “And he says ‘This is free space. I’m just walking my dog.’” On the third time around the car, the dog made a “hit,” giving officers prob-able cause to search the vehicle. They found ap-proximately one gram of marijuana. “I think it was definitely profiling,” said Larson, who has long black hair and wears a ring in her lip. “[The cops] think that every-body that goes to Reggae Fest is just a bunch of drug-taking, pot-smoking hippies, and they were out to find a big bust.” Larson was not the only person to com-plain about the police presence for Reggae Fest. Concert attendees said cop cars “lined the highways” between La Crosse and Trempea-leau on Saturday, and five people interviewed for this story said their vehicles were pulled over just for equipment violations. Although complete reports were not available at press time, at least four separate departments appeared to be policing the area around Reggae Fest. The Trempealeau Police Department had six officers on duty (com-pared to the one who normally patrols on Sat-urday afternoons), and the Trempealeau Coun-ty and La Crosse County sheriffs departments had K9 units in the area. The State Patrol was also spotted at traffic stops. “Any [stop] that we made was for a viola-tion of the law,” said Trempealeau County sher-iff Richard Anderson. “Of course our K9 unit was in the area so we utilized that … but it wasn’t like there was any special detail that we set up or anything like that.” Brandon Fahey, a local classic rock DJ, was pulled over by a La Crosse County K9 unit in the Town of Hamilton, three miles outside Trempealeau. The police SUV had been sitting in a dirt road off Highway 35, Fahey said, and pulled him over for having an “inadequate muf-fler.” Without asking for consent, the officer led the drug dog around Fahey’s car. When the dog made a hit, the officer made Fahey exit his ve-hicle while he searched the car. Nothing illegal was found, but the dog left scratch marks on the trunk of Fahey’s 1999 Saturn. The episode

lasted approximately 45 minutes. “I was shitting bricks, man. It was terri-ble,” said Fahey, who — full disclosure — helps write this newspaper’s Top 7 lists. “Rather than protecting and serving, it seems like they were just out to harass.” Every concert attendee interviewed for this story thought their civil rights were violat-ed when police officers introduced drug dogs and searched their vehicles, but Dave Schultz, a law professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, said the police had probable cause to investigate. For any traffic stop, no matter how trivial, officers have the right to use a drug-sniffing dog if there is one in the area. Accord-ing to the U.S. and Wisconsin Supreme Courts, any “hit” by a reliable drug dog gives officers probable cause to search a vehicle. When asked to give advice to people traveling to music festivals, Schultz said people shouldn’t drive a car with obvious equipment violations. “Cars and their operation are so heavily regulated that it’s awfully difficult to maintain your vehicle and be such a good driver that you’re not violating some of the thousands of laws that apply,” said Schultz in a telephone interview. Still, Stan Ridgeway, chief of the Trem-pealeau Police Department, said nobody filed any complaints about Saturday’s policing. He noted that the Trempealeau Hotel pays for the increased police presence when it hosts Reg-gae Fest and said that there used to be more officers patrolling it in the past. For next Satur-day’s Blues Fest, which normally draws smaller crowds to the hotel, only four officers from his department will be on patrol. Although Reggae Fest attendees brought home several stories from the event — and some didn’t want to speak on record, fearing additional reprimand — one of the strangest belongs to Tegan Daly, a 23-year-old La Crosse resident whose car was pulled over four times on Saturday: once for a faulty muffler and three more times for a burned out headlight. “I think we were stereotyped, like all these hippies go-ing to Reggae Fest must be doing something wrong,” said Daly, who was cited for an open intoxicant after officers found a box of wine in her back seat. Amy Morgan, a 27-year-old who was riding with Daly, agreed and called Saturday’s policing “one step away from a road block.” Morgan said she had attended Reggae Fests for the about the past 12 years, but she had never been pulled over when riding with her sister — who has a child and drives a minivan. “This is the first time I’ve ridden down with a number of friends in a kind of beater car,” said Morgan, referencing the Chevrolet Corsica that sports bumper stickers for the New Glarus Brewing Company and the League of Conservation Voters. “Maybe I’ll put a Jesus fish on my car the next time I go down.”

Reggae Festers complain of police profiling and drug dogs, but the law is not on their sideBy Adam [email protected]

Cop beat

May �1, �009 9

Treasures On Main722 Main St. / 608.785.0234 / Mon-Sat 10am - 5pm

With 3 stories of treasures, it makes it the largest consignment shop in La Crosse. Stop in and check out our selection and shop in support of local animal rescues.

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We Make Campers Happyspring makes me want to 'yak!


May �1, �009 11

Tink! I dropped the bat as I watched the soft-ball sail through the air and over my brother's raised, mitted hand. It was a breezy, just-hot-enough May evening and while Dad prepared chicken for the grill, my bro and I had taken to hitting some balls in the backyard. He still hadn't emerged from the lilac bushes, so I knew I had enough time to crouch down and re-tie my sneaker. Suddenly, I heard his yell. "Bri!" My head lifted up from my shoe in-stinctively. Crack! I was nowhere near ready for the ball's return; the fluorescent yellow softball had driven right into the middle of my forehead, causing an immediate lump nearly the size of the assailant. I curled up on the ground and as my younger brother came rushing over, I was already cursing him out in ways a 9th grader shouldn't know how; in ways a 6th grader shouldn't hear. Tears streamed down his face as he apologized profusely and ran inside to get Dad and an ice pack — or, in this case, a big bag of frozen mixed vegetables. As the throes of pain subsided some, I apologized to Chris for yelling at him. After all, it was an accident, and God knows we had caused each other countless accidental injuries already in our young lives. This one was no different; the chicken was abandoned, and we were off to the hospital yet again. Though I didn't need stitches, gravity soon took its toll in the days that followed, as all the internal blood ran from the grotesque lump on my noggin down to the soft skin under my eyes and settled there, in ugly purple and black half moons that made everyone at school think I got punched out twice in the face. The majority of my peers signed my yearbook to "Raccoon" or "Raccoon Eyes" and even "The Bruised Bitch." Ubiquitous yearbook quotes like "have a kick-ass summer" were replaced with "I hope your eyes get better!" and "...next time you get in a fight, I'll be there to back you, Dude!" Even, "I'm sorry about your face" was scrawled along the inside front cover. I hoped this person was alluding to my injury.

Fast forward ten years later, and I'm chillin' on a couch in the (old!) Second Supper office, PBR in hand, waiting for our weekly meeting to start. Instead of the usual run-down of the

current issue's status, this meeting began with Bissen posing a question. "Hey, Mitch wants to start a softball team for this summer...anyone interested?" I could already hear my mom calling out from three hours away, like some deity's voice echoing from above to an unsuspecting sinner. "Bri-ana," she would sigh heavily, "I just...I don't want you to get your teeth knocked out." "But Mooom," I would reply, crumbling to the ground on my knees, fists shaking in frus-tration at the sky, "it doesn't matter that I've suffered minor injuries playing softball in the past and I haven't played in years and I'm still spastic when it comes to sports and I sure-as-shit don't have health insurance, but... it ain't rugby!" Patches of snow still lay stagnant on the streets outside. I was longing for the outdoor summer fun that softball promised. I replied to our editor-in-chief with one enthusiastic "Hell yes!"

Now, whether you play the game or not, you've heard denouncement of softball before; that it's — if I may quote verbatim — "the pussy version of baseball." In fact, the game was drawn up by men in the late 1800s at the end of a Yale vs. Harvard football game, when a man from Yale threw a boxing glove in jest at the Harvard crowd, and a fan hit it away with a broomstick. The result? A Harvard alum in Chicago, who had gathered at a local boat club with pals to hear the score of the football game responded by tying up a boxing glove into a ball, and an indoor game of baseball ensued, the players not requiring mitts since the "ball" was so soft. That winter, permanent foul lines were painted on the floors of the boat club, and "soft-ball" became the way for baseball players to keep practicing during the cold months of the off-season. Eventually, it was moved outdoors. Along with staying popular in the Chicago area, by 1913 the game was officially adopted by the Minneapolis Park Board and played by men all over the metropolis. Take that, chauvinists!

La Crosse's own history with the game didn't follow too long after. "We have [La Crosse] Tribune archives here that go back to the '50s and '60s," says John Wesley, current Adult Sports Coordinator for La Crosse Park and Rec, "...maybe even before that." Wesley then reminisces, with the unmistakable air of

nostalgia in his voice, about going to Copeland Park as a kid to enjoy summer softball games amongst "thousands of fans." Don't go thinking, though, that the soft-ball phenomenon only existed in the good ol' days. Ask any La Crosse resident today what comes to mind when they think of summer, and they're sure to tell you without a doubt: grilling out, camping on the sandbar, canoeing down the Kickapoo, and league softball. The din of lawnmowers cruising around our cozy green lawns almost hums in sync with the tink of metal bats smacking a softball.

Chances are, you know someone who plays softball in La Crosse. When I ask Wes-ley how many leagues there are, he exhales as if he's overcome by the question. "Oh my God," he finally responds. "How many leagues are there? Well, let's see..." He trails off, soon embarking on a tirade, not one that's vehe-ment, rather one that's like a poetic passage. The title of his poem? "We play five nights a week." Wesley begins his reading, which is too much for me to comprehend. "Monday night," he begins, setting the stage, "there's men's and co-rec. Tuesday night there's men's and wom-en's. Wednesday night there's women's and the industrial league..." He goes on, ending with the kicker: "On Friday,there's four to five men's and co-rec leagues." He draws in a much deserved breath, enough of a break for me to ask him how many teams are spread out amongst these leagues; how many teams are playing through three months of summer. He can't even give me a direct answer. Citing again the fact that La Crosse is the only city in the area to have multiple games five nights a week, he answers my question matter-of-factly: "Easily between 150 to 200 teams," he says. Assuming that each team has only the bare minumum of players allowed, there are 1,500 residents of La Crosse playing softball on 150 teams this summer. And that's the mini-mum. Taking into account that there are quite possibly close to 200 — if not more — teams, with each team having about an extra five subs, we're looking at a number close to double that. There are teams representing workplaces you've never heard of, bars you've never been to, and then some. And if you think these thou-sands of players are the only ones who care about softball, you're forgetting about the fans. I swear, there are more people who care about

league softball stats and scores more than they cared about who was running for mayor of this city.

"There's guys that have softball hard-ons in this city," explains Wesley, without even a hint of facetiousness in his voice. "We'll even receive calls in January from people inquiring about new rules for the upcoming season." In my first game for the Popcorn Tavern, almost a month ago now, I was jogging back to the dugout, a bit bummed because I had been tagged out on third. "You gotta run faster, Hon," a gray-haired man with a beer belly said to me, as if he was my coach. Thing is, he wasn't even affiliated with either one of the teams! He was merely a lone fan — a know-it-all, veteran of the softball sidelines, making it his business to ridicule any member of either team guilty of a mistake. And we play on the B league... the "winning-isn't-everything-I-play-for-fun" B league. Hard-on, however inappropriate, noted.

But even with the occasional loud-mouthed fan, softball is plain fun. The neces-sary competitiveness is there, but mainly the love of being active outside and having a good time with your peers overrides. The fact that the sponsoring bar awaits your worn and dusty team with promises of a few (free!) cold ones doesn't hurt either. The fact is, summers in La Crosse wouldn't be the same without softball. So join a team or, at least, come cheer your favorite on. After all, it's in your blood. Just ask my brother...he'll assure you it's in mine.

Summer of Softball

Why do the men and women of La Crosse love this game so much? Who cares? Let's play!

By Briana [email protected]

418 Lang Dr. La Crosse 608-785-0305

www.hairstation.info

$11 CutsFridays

Across From Menards

Cover story


With a title like that, this story hardly needs an introduction. I will however offer a bit of background. In my travels here in Korea one thing I’ve missed the most is a hearty offering of live music. Sure, around every corner is a Karaoke room where my friends and I can sing and drink our fill, but this country is seriously lacking the live music department. If you’re brave enough to venture out to Seoul you can usually find some music somewhere. But I live roughly four hours from Seoul by bus, or two and a half hours by car if you’ve got a Korean Gangster behind the wheel — but more on that later. To say I was shocked when I heard there was live jazz happening in Jinju (where I live) would be an understatement. I had to see this with my own eyes. After catching a show, the tenor sax play-er in the band — who happened to be the club owner — wandered over to my table and in-troduced himself. After complementing him on his playing my friend mentioned that I played sax. Now I should mention that since graduat-ing high school in 2001, I’ve played a saxophone exactly two times. The first time was in 2006 in

Japan where a jazz club owner handed me an alto sax and demanded a song. The second per-formance also happened in 2006 at my middle school in Namhae, for a school festival. So I was slightly apprehensive about playing for or with these guys. But after practicing a bit with the owner and finding out that he had a baritone sax that I would be playing, my apprehension went right out the window. So after three shows with the band I feel like I’m finally hitting my stride. Which is saying something because our band doesn’t get to-gether to practice. About a week before each show we’re all e-mailed a set list with brief in-structions for each song. When show time rolls around we dive right into it. Our shows are not without issue but we have fun and get free beer while we play, so by the time the show is over we’ve all forgotten most of the first set. Our most recent show was one of our best. We started off the night with a fantastic Freddie Hubbard funk tune called "Mr. Clean." After a few standards and a few beers we were groov-ing nicely, just in time for our set break. To open our second set we played a fast funky version

of the Miles Davis tune "So What" that had the crowd bobbing along with the beat. To end the night we played a great number Coltrane num-ber called "Mr. P.C." By the time the show had ended I had completely forgotten what songs I soloed on and kept insisting that my final solo on "Mr. P.C." was awful yet my band mates and the audience kept telling me otherwise. Per-haps I had one free beer too many… Along with countless adoring fans, I’ve made a few friends in the band. So after the gig we decided to take our show on the road. We headed over to a Karaoke room armed with a few fans as well as an alto sax, which in my opinion separates good Karaoke from great Karaoke. Some time between Chicago’s "25 or 6 to 4" and Queen's "Bohemian Rhap-sody" my friend and fellow sax man Tom got a call from his friend Mr. Funk inviting us all to Seoul to see Tower of Power. Now if you are not familiar with Tower of Power you should certainly check them out. They have been mak-ing groovy music for 41 years. Once we made the decision to go, Tom informed me that Mr. Funk was in fact a Korean gangster (his name has been changed for… well… my safety and yours). Mr. Funk was slated to pick us up at 9 a.m. at Tom’s place, so we decided the best thing to do would be to head to his house after the Karaoke room for some scotch and Peter O’Toole. Mr. Funk arrived promptly at 9 a.m. in his Benz. He arrived just before the McDonald's delivery guy did. Yes, in Korea even McD’s deliv-ers. After devouring some sausage McMuffins we headed out. Including Mr. Funk we were a party of five. Once in the car we had a short debate about which of Mr. Funk’s vehicles would be faster for the trip. Our choices were his 2007 Benz or his 2008 Jag. He decided the Jag would better accommodate our group so we headed to his office to change cars. On the way Mr. Funk pointed out several of his properties — which included two hotels, one completed apartment complex as well as a second apartment complex that was still under construction. I guess crime does pay. The Range Rover was the better of the two vehicles. As soon as we got on the highway it was game on. I’ve been on the Autobahn, in a top of the line Benz no less, but this ride was

something out of a Michael Bay movie. We hit 100 miles per hour and never let up. Made the four hour trip in under three hours. While on the road Mr. Funk received a call from some-one I gathered to be The Don, explaining that he had been out drinking the night before and "misplaced" 20 grand (apparently a standard feature on Jag’s is a built in Bluetooth receiver for your cell phone so your conversation can be broadcast through the car’s sweet stereo). Until last weekend I thought that was some-thing that could only ever happen in the movies or my imagination. From now on whenever I’m out at a bar I will keep at least one eye open for large wads of cash, and I will always carry a ski mask to conceal my identity if and when I pick up said wad. Tower of Power played at an art hall in downtown Seoul. We arrived at the show just before the opening band took the stage. Our seats were in the balcony. I guess mafia con-nections are limited to hotels and beaches (Mr. Funk is also currently developing some fine beach front real estate). The opening band was a funky Korean band called Common Ground. They played a quick set filled with funk, jazz and hip-hop. And were a pleasant surprise. Most young Korean bands are massive pop groups filled with handsome twenty-somethings who can hardly sing but photograph well. Tower of Power hit the stage like a brick-shit house. They played a funky two-hour set filled with funk, soul and jazz. They are without a doubt one of the best bands live bands I’ve seen. As soon as the show got under way we moved up to the front of the balcony, and much to the dismay of the people behind us, began dancing. I immediately pulled a Bissen and cleared out a 3x3 yard space for myself while everyone around me was reduced to dancing in a tiny bubble. When the dancing feeling hits you, there isn’t much you can do but roll with it. And roll with it I did. It was pretty much the theme for the weekend. But what better way to celebrate spring than, playing jazz, drink-ing free beer, hanging out with gangsters and grooving to Tower of Power. The only thing I could think that could make this better is if I was munching on a Johnsonville brat while reading a copy this week's Second Supper.

Gangsters and All That Jazz

In which our foreign correspondant plays sax, wins fans, eats McMuffins, runs with

mobsters, and sees Tower of Power

By Nate [email protected]

Seoul power

May �1, �009 1�

Everything which led me into this book, while paving a glowing road, also gave it an arrogant veneer. The first line of advertisement doesn’t help, reading thus: “Julian Donahue is in love with his iPod.” From that introduction, prejudices of a world of self-obsessed rock snobs engaging in vestigial love affairs began to swirl. In part, this doesn’t go away after reading through the book. The things that do change are the cracks between the Pavement-worshipping pavement, the hows of the story that augment the whos and whats. Each and every person in this story, at some point, exposes narcissistic traits, thinks bratty thoughts, and acts like a prick to some-one — but with the exception of the washed up rock star turned avant-garde vagina painter, there are no good guys, no bad guys. Julian himself is a middle-aged director of commercials, a former philanderer turned imminent divorcee. Both he and his wife are damaged goods, hobbling around the ruins of their lives. She cares for Julian’s nigh-autistic older brother after a demographic faux pas on Jeopardy turns him into a national pariah, hurl-ing him off the edge. Julian spends his chapters chasing an ascending musician half his age, one who’s in danger of being swallowed into the

Medium: LiteratureStimulus: Arthur Phillips — The Song Is YouAnno: 2009

collective desire of her fawning audience. He gives her advice from the rafters, and eventu-ally they form an invisible romance. It’s in this pursuit where Phillips abandons the tale’s sometimes excessive introspection and builds a scheme of chain reaction suspense. Very little of the relationship between Julian and his quarry runs conventional. Rather, it becomes a mutual investigation, hidden behind text and press releases, telethons and bushes, building up nerve, while everything swerves. What is most uncomfortable about these people and their flaws — and, usually subse-quent to the flaws, their redeeming factors — is how well presented they are, how fictional and outside of the reader they aren’t. Despite the gleam of the New York scenes, these are peo-ple who could be your neighbors, your idols, you. So yes, Julian Donahue is in love with his iPod. From the word go, music wraps around every page and gives the story its skin, but it is the abundance of characterization, accompa-nied with a storytelling which seems locked in perpetual zigzag, which forms the spine of one of the most romantic anti-romances I’ve ever read.

— Brett Emerson

Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

Oh hi, right now I’m listening to a DJ mix that is part of the Fabric Live series. Fabric is a club in London that is on the cutting edge of all things going on in the music world of that trend set-ting British city, which often goes on to influ-ence the rest of the world. Since they opened their doors in 1999, Fabric has hosted the cream of the crop of globe trotting DJs who pack their 1600 person capacity club on a regu-lar basis. The DJs they book spin genres from hip-hop to breakbeat to drum ‘n bass to indie rock to electro to dubstep to vintage soul to reggae and everything in between. Not only do they regularly feature the heavy hitters of the game, but also have launched a laundry list of people to the British audience who have gone on to become huge. Starting in November of 2001, Fabric began releasing monthly albums on their own record label of these DJs in ac-tion, alternating between their Fabric and Fab-ric Live series. If this wasn’t awesome enough for people who care about this sort of stuff, in October of 2007 they began offering free hour long podcasts every month of DJs spinning tracks from their personal collections that you can get at www.fabriclondon.com/podcast/ for your listening pleasure. Currently, there are 27 of these podcasts just waiting for you featuring names like Peanut Butter Wolf, Jazznova, Don Letts, Howie B. and Mad Professor selecting the tracks. If those names don’t mean anything to

you, just know they cover about as wide a cross spectrum of music as you are likely to find, all bringing their own unique perspective on how to move a crowd. Some other DJ mix collec-tions I’m a fan of are the DJ-Kick series and the Global Underground series. DJ-Kick started putting out albums in 1995 which currently has 31 mixes from artists such as Carl Craig, Thiev-ery Corporation, Nightmares on Wax, Kruder & Dorfmeister, Four Tet, Hot Chip and Burial. The majority of the albums in this series are mixed in a studio, which allows records to be spun that wouldn’t really work in a club envi-ronment. Global Underground started putting out releases in 1996 and focuses solely on high profile progressive house beat matchers such as Sasha, John Digweed, Paul Oakenfold, Felix Da Housecat and Deep Dish. Releases in this series record performances by these studs at live sets of theirs around the globe, from places as far flung as Shanghai, Moscow, Bogota, Cape Town, Tel Aviv, San Francisco and Paris, to name a few. On a side note, seriously, could you think of a better job than being paid thousands of dollars a night to be flown to all corners of the globe to play bass thumping party music for thousands of people in the throws of euphoric revelry while they bliss the night away in the swankiest of locales? My life suddenly seems so unfulfilling…

— Shuggypop Jackson

This week, I tried out a coffee from the nearby Kickapoo Coffee micro-roasters in Viroqua. An organic Peru AA filled my cup this morning, and I’m pleased that it did. First things first: the Kickapoo cats know their stuff. Socially and environmentally, they do good work; their beans come from small cooperatives that are owned by the farmers. This means that the farmers get fair wages, and the biodiversity and traditional farming practices (i.e. not chemically-depen-dent or pesticide-laden) are pro-tected. Coffee-wise, the folks just over the bluff get high scores as well. The beans are roasted in small batches in a vintage German roaster and tasted (“cupped”) before they’re sold; what a dream job that is! The Peru AA that I chose came from northern Peru, and the “AA” refers to a classification system for the size, shape, and density of the bean. AA beans are the largest, and thus produce the most oils that give the final product its

Kickapoo Peru

aroma and flavor. These beans were brought to a medium roast, and the strongest character-istic of this coffee is probably its balance. The aroma is inviting and is almost reminiscent of

a black tea with honey. The brightness of this bean sits right in the middle and convinces

you to love it. The body is certainly not lacking and provides some real depth for this cup. A rich milk chocolate pro-vides most of this coffee’s soul, which is supported by fleeting notes of sweet citrus and buttery caramel. In tandem with the sweet aspects of this coffee is a smoky earthiness as well. Subtle roasted almond notes come through at times, and a flavor-feeling that can only be described as a digging brown overcame me as I happily slurped away. The mouthfeel of this brew

was velvety smooth all the way to the clean finish. Overall, this coffee

was pleasant and would probably satisfy a wide variety of tastes.

— Amber Miller

BEERReview

Shakespeare StoutRogue BreweryNewport, Oregon

“There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny; the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink small beer.” — King Henry VI. Part II.

Act iv. Sc. 2.

Here, here! You gotta hand it to Will Shake-speare, he appreciated the finer things in life. Not only do his sonnets contain the choicest words on female beauty and his tragedies il-lustrate the crippling pursuit of political power, in nearly every play he wrote he gave all the best lines to drunks. He’s my bro. So when I felt like treating myself the other day, this offer-ing from the Rogue Brewery naturally caught my eye. I bought it on a whim, tucked it in the back of the refrigerator, and cracked it open 15 minutes ago, not knowing what to expect. Well, after quaffing the ale, this loquacious lush doth think it a fitting tribute to the Bard: The Shakespeare Stout is one of the greatest beers I have ever tasted. Poured from a 22 ounce bottle, an abun-dant tan head races up the glass, topping a brew that is opaque black. But lifting it to the nose, I knew this wouldn’t be like any other stout.

It contains all the right notes of burnt caramel and roasted barley, but a citrus-y hop aroma ele-vates it in that bold West Coast tradition. Even with that hoppy punch, the first sip is assertive but not biting. (Stouts are of English origin, af-ter all.) When it moves down the tongue, the taste grows warmer and more rich, with mocha, hazelnut and even dark fruit flavors rising to the fore. It has a creamy mouthfeel, and the hops make it extremely drinkable — which is not an adjective ascribed to most stouts. The aftertaste is somewhat dry and chocolaty, but again the hops leave a resin-y sweetness. If I had more money, I could prob-ably drink a lot of these, but this first bottle was a luxurious experience in itself. For, as the Bard wrote, “a quart of ale is a dish for a king."

— Adam Bissen

Appearance: 10

Aroma: 9

Taste: 9

Mouthfeel: 8

Drinkability: 8

Total: 44


Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and

bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support

conscientious commerce:

TOUCH 'EM ALL.

The fundamental problem with Dan Brown's Robert Langdon thrillers is that, when trans-lated to a visual medium, there's really noth-ing thrilling about them. It's the plethora of fun factoids that makes the novels worth reading, but it's the inclusion of those same factoids that resulted in 2006's atrocious "The Da Vinci Code," more a revisionist history lesson than a gut-wrenching thriller. "Angels & Demons," here touted as a sequel, at least plays out like a thriller, the "did you know..." moments taking a much-appreciated backseat to some genuine suspense. Because it's a Dan Brown adaptation, it's no less absurd or predictable than the pain-ful dry-hump "Da Vinci," but at least it's fun to watch. Why anyone would call on a Harvard Symbologist when four cardinals are kidnapped and an explosive, highly-unstable canister of antimatter goes missing never gets properly addressed, but for one reason or another, the prickish Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) finds himself in the middle of a plot to blow up Vati-can City and the thousands of people await-ing the election of a new pope in Saint Peter's

Square. Cue Langdon's improbable solutions to illogical problems. "Angels & Demons" marks the triumphant return of "Da Vinci's" lofty plot progression and brazen absurdity, but, unlike that film, it's a lot tighter and less jumbled. That's not to say it's less predictable. With "Angels & Demons," it becomes painfully obvi-ous that Brown uses some kind of story tem-plate or formula when constructing his novels. All the same hackneyed "Da Vinci" character-izations return: a tag-along female sidekick; a bullheaded police inspector; an ominous, mur-derous villain who believes he's doing God's work; a trusted ally who turns out to be the villain; several ambiguous red-herring charac-ters who silently shift their eyes after Langdon exits the frame. If Brown weren't such a one trick pony (a filthy-rich one trick pony, at that), then maybe Howard and company would have a little more to work with. Howard may not have perfected a formula for adapting the fac-toid-thriller for the big screen, but at least now he's taken steps in the right direction.

— Nick Cabreza

Angels & Demons (2009)

Director: Ron HowardCast: Tom Hanks, Ayelet Zurer, Ewan McGregorWriter: David Koepp and Akiva Goldsman, based on the novel by Dan Brown

Film reviews Future Sons by Noah Singer

It’s a rare movie that one can watch all day, but for a few weeks in a California record store, my friends and I worked while Pee-Wee’s Big Ad-venture played on repeat, all day, every day — and it never got old. We’d hear Danny Elfman’s frenetic score, walk by and catch a glimpse of Abe Lincoln robot flipping pancakes, and hiss at the tubby brat who stole Pee-Wee’s magic bicycle — the dastardly Francis Buxton. It was awesome. Mark Holton is the man responsible for bringing said Evil Buxton to life. After this movie he languished in the cinema graveyard, his most notable post-Buxton roles being a re-tarded guy in Leprechaun and a portrayal of America’s favorite boy-raping-and-murdering clown, John Wayne Gacy. Mark Holton also looks exactly like one of my friends’ ex-wives, a heartless, buzzkilling bitch that sucked the life and legend from his bones. We called her Fran-cis Buxton, and mourned her theft of our own bicycle/friend until the glorious day of their di-vorce. But Mark Holton’s name wasn’t as tar-nished as another of the cast. While semi-watching a night of television a few years ago, I heard John Walsh’s nasal tenor announce the beginning of an episode of America’s Most Wanted. Bo-ring. But then, the curveball was thrown, and I heard long-memorized clips from

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure playing on one of the country’s great manhunt shows. Did Paul Reu-bens get caught in a spank booth again? No, Walsh assured, this was a bit more serious.

Under the stage name of Mark Everett, Manuel Benitez played one of the BMX kids in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. After a brief run as a child actor he retired in 1988 and became another kid star roadkill: dealing drugs, getting busted a few times on drug and weapons charges, and in all this madness finding a wife and having a kid. Eerily, nobody in his life knew that he was ever an actor. When his wife threatened to leave him, Everett beat her to death with a dumbbell, kid-napped their child, and disappeared for four years. He made multiple appearances on Amer-ica’s Most Wanted, but nothing came of it. Last December brought this story to a close, when a cop summoned others after watching Everett drag his son into an El Monte, California restaurant. Hours of hostage stand-off descended into a shootout, and Everett was killed, and his son wounded but safe. The lesson of all this? Never screw with a man’s bicycle. Yeah, maybe that's not the les-son.

— Brett Emerson

Director: Tim BurtonCast: Paul Reubens, Mark HoltonWritter: Phil Hartman, Paul Reubens, & Michael Varhol

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (1985)

May �1, �009 1�

I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword

Answers to Issue 163's "Pig Out"

52 Be a sponge53 Mr. ___ (Coke's answer to Dr Pep-per)55 Reverberating57 It may be caused by stress

61 Grouped to-gether62 Diverts traffic63 Say with confi-dence64 Memo header, for short65 Pinnacle

Down 1 Div. that lost Super Bowls XIX-XXXI2 Figure seen at Ti-ananmen Square3 Where signs of visiting prostitutes are most frequent in the aviary?4 Rice variety5 Where a flea might hang out?6 Victrola maker7 Brand-spanking ___8 Naval tech. spe-cialist9 It preceded Roos-evelt10 Rice partner11 Where you're likely to find three-day-old undies?

12 Mazda roadster13 Silver Bullet Band leader Bob15 It may get the last photo in the calen-dar: abbr.21 Game with a 20 at the top of the board22 1980s home com-puter24 ___ Jaya (Indone-sian territory)25 Where you'll find blond, curly hair, an overcoat, and a horn?26 Where to show where the bad man touched you?32 Flip ___34 Callender in the frozen food aisle35 Z's Greek coun-terpart37 It penalizes ob-struction of hydrants42 Dictionary45 More needing a bath, perhaps48 Single-celled or-ganism: var.49 Mouths, in Mazat-

lan54 A/C stat56 Summer hrs. in Minneapolis57 Title for Italian monks58 Emeritus: abbr.59 ___ Speedwagon60 Sense tested with Zener cards

©2009 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords .com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0415.

Across 1 "Te ___"4 Springsteen title starter8 What software may be stored on14 Burlesque rou-tine16 Campfire snack17 Green side18 Crone, disparag-ingly19 Wile E. Coyote's supplier20 Back off21 NASCAR ___23 Premium used in exchange rates26 Size of some ga-rages27 Actress Smart28 Unable to choose29 Ark man30 Spare bit?31 "___ a Hammer"33 Fish in a 2003 film36 Thursday day-dreamer's acronym38 National auto body chain

39 Poetry competi-tion40 Bangalore wrap41 Get the sleeping bag ready43 What rock fans may dig

44 "Consarn it!"46 Shag carpet fea-ture47 Tractor-trailer48 Wretched, as poverty50 Jet-black rock51 Irish, e.g.

Maze Efflux by Erich Boldt

"Movin' On Up"-- deluxe apartment or not, we're getting there!By Matt Jones


All Star Lanes4735 Mormon Coulee

Alpine Inn W5715 Bliss rd.

3 games for $5starts at 8 p.m.

Alumni620 Gillette st.

Barrel Inn2005 West ave.

Beef & Etc.1203 La Crosse st.

Big Al’s115 S 3rd st.

Brothers306 Pearl st.

CheapShots318 Pearl st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

Fox HollowN3287 County OA

Goal Post1904 Campbell rd.

Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.

Huck Finn’s127 Marina dr.

JB’s Speakeasy717 Rose st.



Buck Night starts at 6 p.m.

Import nightstarts at 7 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl & Karaoke starts at

9 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl starts at 9 p.m.

bucket specialBud Night 6 - CL:$1.75 bottles$5 pitchers

6 - CL$2.50 Sparks

$2 Silos3-7

happy hour

16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8jack daniels tips 8 $1 shots of Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-clHappy hour 4-6 $1.75 cans, $2 mix drinks

$1 softshell tacos$1 shots of doctor, cherry doctor

$5 bbq ribs and fries

AUCE wings $5.00free crazy bingobuy one cherry bomb get one for $1

batterfried cod, fries, beans, and garlic bread $5.50

2 for 1 cans & bottles during Packer games

1/4 barrel giveaway

8-11 $1 burgers

bucket night6 for $9

$6.00AUCD

3 p.m. - midnight25 cent hot wings

$1 shots of Dr.

$4.50domestic pitchers

barrel parties at cost

meatball sandwich meal: $6.152 dogs meal: $ 5.25

Italian beef meal:$6.15Chicago chili dog:$3.45

grilled chicken sand-wich meal: $5.29Polish sausage meal: $3.99

hamburger meal: $3.69cheeseburger meal:$3.89

pepper & egg sandwichmeal: $4.50, fish sandwich meal: $4.99, Italian sausage meal: $6.15

Italian beef meal:$6.152 Chicago dog meal: $3.45

free pitcher of beer or soda with large

pizza

meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45Italian sausage: $4.95

$1.25 make your own tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2.25 margaritas, $2 off large taco pizza

$2.25 burgers, $2.60 cheeseburgers, $2 off large pizza, $1 fries with any pizza

soup or salad bar FREE with entree or sandwich until 3 p.m.($3.95 by itself)

$6.75shrimp dinner

$1.50bloody marys

11 a.m. - 4 p.m

closed $2.50Blatz vs. Old Style

pitchers

Thirsty Tuesday

10 cent wings (9 - CL)$1 High Life bottles$1.50 rail mixers$2 Guinness pints

Wristband Night

$3.00 Captain mixers/mojitos$2 Cherry Bombs$1 Bazooka Joes

7 - CL$1 domestic 12 oz

$2 Stoli mixers

7 - CLTequila’s chips & salsa, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Mike’s, Mike-arita

7 - midnightLadies: 2 for 1

Guys: $1.50 Coors and Kul Light bottles

7 - midnight$1 rail mixers

$2 Bacardi mixers

7 - midnight$2 Malibu madness

$2 pineapple upsidedown cake

WING NIGHT-$1.25/LBBUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK BOTTLES $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT OF THE WEEK

$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS

$3.00 JAGER BOMBS

Build your own Bloody Mary

16oz Mug - $4.00

$1.25BURGERS

Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00

25 Cent Wings

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AMbeer pong 6 p.m.$8.95 16 oz steak free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m. HAPPY HOUR

5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8$8.95 16 oz. steak

$8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

$5.99 gyro

fries & soda

Buy one gyroget one

half price

free baklava, ice cream or sundae

with meal

$1.25 domestic tapsbuy one burger

get one half price

buy one appetizerget one half price

GREEK ALL DAYappetizer half price

with meal

Bloody Mary specials10 - 2

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 -7 and 9 - 11

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday SaturdayLA CROSSE

COMMUNITY SERVICE Area food & drink specials[ ]

Dan’s Place411 3rd st.

$4full pint Irish Car Bomb

$1Kul Light

cans

Topless Tuesday

Ladies Nightbuy one, get one free

wear a bikini, drink free

Karaoke$1 shot specials

live DJ$1 shot specials

Karaoke

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer

$9.00

HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM

Fiesta Mexicana5200 Mormon Coulee

chicken & veggie fajitas

for two

football nightdomestic beer: $1.50Mexican beer: $2.00

chicken primavera

shrimp burrito

chili verde

Ask server for details

The Cavalier114 5th ave.

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7closedMartini Madness

$2 off all martinis$1 Dr. shots

$3 Jager Bombs2 for 1 taps

50 cent taps 4 - 7(increases 50 cents per

hour)$1 rails

Wristband Night

$5 COLLEGE I.D.$9 general public

$3.00 Bacardi mixers/mojitos$2 Cherry Bombs$1 Bazooka Joes

$2 Tuesdays, including $2 bottles, import taps, beer pong, apps, single shot mixers, featured shots, and 50 cent taps

Chuck’s1101 La Crosse st.

Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona,

Corona Light, Cuervo

$.50 domestic taps, $1 microbrews, $3 domestic pitchers, $6 microbrew pitchers

$3.00 Patron Shots$2.00 Cruzan Rum Mixers, $2.50 Jameson Shots, $3.00 Mixers

$2.00 Captain Mixers$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger,

$3.00 Jaeger Bombs$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $2.00 Shots of Cuervo,

Rumpleminz, Goldschlager

All day, everyday: $1.00 Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors

$1.75 domestic bottles



Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close

closed closed

Arena ArenaLAX.com

text

Beef & Etc.1203 La Crosse st.

CheapShots318 Pearl st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

$1 cherry bombs$1Keystone silos

meatball sandwich meal: $6.692 Chicago dogs meal: $5.89

Italian beef meal:$6.69Chicago chili dog:$3.89

grilled chicken sand-wich meal: $5.29Polish sausage meal: $4.49

hamburger or cheeseburger meal:$3.89Italian Beef w/dog meal: $7.89

pepper & egg sandwichmeal: $5.00Italian sausage meal: $6.69

Italian beef meal:$6.692 Chicago dog meal: $5.89

7 - CL$1 domestic 12 oz

$2 Stoli mixers

7 - CLTequila’s chips & salsa, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Mike’s, Mike-arita

7 - midnightLadies: 2 for 1

Guys: $1.50 Coors and Kul Light bottles

7 - midnight$1 rail mixers

$2 Bacardi mixers

7 - midnight$2 Malibu madness

$2 pineapple upsidedown cake

WING NIGHT-$1.25/LBBUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK BOTTLES $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT OF THE WEEK



Dan’s Place411 3rd st.

$4full pint Irish Car Bomb

$1Kul Light

cans

Topless Tuesday

Ladies Nightbuy one, get one free

wear a bikini, drink free

Karaoke$1 shot specials

live DJ$1 shot specials

Karaoke

The Cavalier114 5th ave.

Martini Ladies' NightJames Martini: vodka, triple

sec, orange juice

6- 8$1.50 taps

All Mojitos $5

Wristband Night $5 COLLEGE I.D.$9 general public

$2 Tuesdays, including $2 bottles, import taps, beer pong, apps, single shot mixers, featured shots, and 50 cent taps

Chuck’s1101 La Crosse st.

Guys' Nite out 1.50 silos $.50 taps Domestic 3.00 pitchers

$2 Pearl Street Brewery beers

Ladies' Nite out 1.50 Raill mixers/ $2.50 X bombs

12-3: Buy one get one domestic beer

Holmen Meat Locker Jerky Raffle

$3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails

All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy Hour 2-6 $.50 off everything but the daily special

Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.

The Helm108 3rd st

$5.99 gyro

fries & soda

Buy one gyroget one

half price

free baklava, ice cream or sundae

with meal

$1.25 domestic tapsbuy one burger

get one half price

buy one appetizerget one half price

GREEK ALL DAYappetizer half price

with meal

Fiesta Mexicana5200 Mormon Coulee

chicken & veggie fajitas

for two

football nightdomestic beer: $1.50Mexican beer: $2.00

chicken primavera

shrimp burrito

chili verde

Ask server for details

closed closed

Italian beef w/dog meal: $6.69Pizza Puff meal:$4.49

Happy Hour12 - 7

All day (everyday!) specials$1.25 Old Style Light

$1.50 LAX Lager/Light$1 shots of Dr.

Great drinks! Great drinks!

Barrel Inn2005 West ave.

Howie's1128 La Crosse st.

9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs

9-cl- NBC night. (Night Before Class) $3 pitch-ers of the beastHappy Hour 4-9 p.m.

9-cl- $3.50 Domestic pitchers

9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong

$5 AUCD 9-cl $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

2.25 for mini pitcher Buck Burgers Bucket Night 6 beers for $9

AUCD Taps and Rails 8-Midnight $6

25 cent wings Dollar shots of Doctor

$4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10

Animal House110 3rd st.

$2.00 Domestic Silos$2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers$2.00 Goldschlager

$1 Domestic Taps$2 Craft Import Taps$2.50 Vodka Mixers$1 Shot Menu

$2.50 Select imports/craft Beers$2.50 Top shelf Mixers$2 Mich Golden bottles

$2 Domestic Silos$2.50 Premium Silos$2.50 Three Olive Mixers$2. Goldschlager

Stop in for Value Menu too big to list here

$2.50 Bomb Shots$2.50 Ketel One Mixers$2 Retro Beers "Your Dad's Beer"

$2.50 X-Rated Mixers$2 Captain Mixers$2 Premium Grain Belt$2 Snake Bites

Happy Hour 4 p.m. - 9 p.m. M-F

$1 cherry bombs$1Keystone silos

JB’s Speakeasy717 Rose st.




HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7

Eagle's Nest1914 Campbell rd.

OPEN-CL$2 U "Call" it

7-CL:$1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails

7-CL:$1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails

7-CL: $1.50 domestic pints,

$2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

3-9: 2 for 1 domestic bottles and rail drinks

OPEN-CL$2 U "Call" it

7-CL: $1.50 domestic pints,

$2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

After Class $3 Pitchers $1.75 Rails

ARENA to 83361 to receive specials

Steak and golf$14.95

happy hour 4 -6$2 domestic cans

$1 Vodka Drinks$1.00 12 oz Dom.Taps$1.25 12oz prem. Taps

$3 Orange Bombs

Irish HillsW4980 Knoblach Rd.

Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers. $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND FLAVORED

BACARDI MIXERS$3.00 JAGER BOMBS

May �1, �009 1�


WINONAGodfather’s30 Walnut st.

any jumbo, large, or medium pizza up to 5 toppings: $11.99

large 1 topping pizza$9.99

(get 2nd large for $5)

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday

Crescent Inn444 Chestnut st.

$2 Rolling Rocks$2 domestic beer

8 - CL$1.50 rails

$1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr.$2.50 Polish

$1 domestic taps$3 Jager Bombs

$2 u-call-it(except top shelf)

$2.50 Captain$2.50 Jager

Bombs & Polish

LA CRESCENT Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday

Nutbush3264 George st.

Ringside223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s3119 State rd.

Shooter’s120 S 3rd st.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10

AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

Price by Dice2 for 1

Happy HourALL NIGHT LONG

double cheeseburger$6.50

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM$6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SAND-WICH FOR DINNER, $9.99

ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND

CHEESE.

breakfast buffet$9.95

10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Ralph'sIn John's Bar109 3rd st. N

Mighty Meatball sub $6

chicken parmesansub $6

Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6

Southwest chicken pita

$5

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce,

tomato, onion $5

Tailgators1019 S 10th st.

happy hour all day

$4 domestic pitchers

$2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

Bucket Night5 for $9

$1 Dr. shots$3 16 oz Captain mixers

$1 Dr. shots$3 16 oz Captain mixers

Legend’s223 Pearl st.

WING NIGHT$2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50

JACK MIXERS$2.25 BUD LIGHTS

$2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT$1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS$3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

CLOSED

The Joint324 Jay st.

closed closed closed

Players214 Main St

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10

$1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10$2 Capt. mixers $1.75

domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9Best Damned DJ'S

@ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8Best Damned DJ'S

@ 10 p.m.

Top Shots137 S 4th st.

Fiesta Night 7 - 12$2 tequila shots$2.50 margaritas

$1.75 light tapsand Dr. shots

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/PBR taps all day$1.75 rails 10 - 1

$2 domestic bottles7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/

Absolute mixers 10-1$2 Dr. drinks

5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles,

Captain mixers

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5

lite pitchers 7 - 12

Sports Nut801 Rose st.

BuckBurgers

Tacos $1.25

15 cent wings

12 oz. T-Bone$8.99

Fish Fry $6.95

15 cent wings

CLOSED open4 - 9

LUNCH BUFFET $6.95

Chef specials daily

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER$5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK



Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness


$2.25 Pearl st. pints$1.50 PBR bottles

$1.75 rails$1 PBR mugs

Train Station BBQ601 St. Andrew st.

ask forgreat eats

closed 11-3: Extra side with sandwich

4-9: $1 off rib dinner

Special varies 11-3: Barn burner $7.954-9: Hobo dinner (serves 2) $30.95

11-3 $7.95Chicken on fire

4-9: Bones & briskets $13.95

1/2 Chicken3 bones$12.95

BBQ Sandwich Tacos Chili Dogs Tacos Fish Sandwich

All day (everyday!) specials$3 Double Captain & Cokes

$2 Double rails$1 Cans of beer

LakeviewN5292 Hwy 35

Free Wings

Euchre, 7 p.m. Fish Fry

Prime Rib

$2 domestics and rails, 4-8Shots of Doctor

$1 all day, everyday


Entertainment Directory 5/21 - 5/27ÃThursday, May 21 May 23, continued

Del’s BarNick Shattuck and Friends 10:00

The Root NoteOpen Mic Night �:00

Popcorn TavernCheech 10:00 NighthawksDave Orr's Damn Jam 10:00

Starlite LoungeKies & Kompanie �:00

Howie'sKaraoke �:00

Friday, May 22

Popcorn TavernThe Brass Kings with Fayme Rochelle 10:00

Freight HouseNick Stika �:00

Peaberry'sSongwriter's Showcase �:00

The WaterfrontKies and Kompanie with Chris Frye �:00

Howie'sComedy �:�0 Moose LodgeTime and a Half �:00 The TimbersScott Polito �:�0 Charlie's InnDave Kerska 4:�0

The Root NoteExperimental Noise Showcase f/ Igloo Martian and Boyle �:�0

The JointZetus Deamos 10:00

Nighthawk'sThe Troubadour of Rock 10:00

The WaterfrontKies & Kompaniewith Chris Frye �:00

The Root NoteByron Space Circus �:�0

The TimbersSellout �:00

Popcorn TavernMitch's Open Jam 10:00

Baus HausGreg "Cheech" Hall �:00

Del's BarCheech 10:�0

Nighthawk'sHoward Luedtke andBlue Maxx 10:�0

Wednesday, May 27

Popcorn TavernPaulie 10:00

The JointBrownie's Open Jam 10:00

The Root NoteJazz Night 10:00

Ã

Saturday, May 23

Popcorn TavernBurnt Brownies 10:00

Schmidty'sEarthbound �:00

La Crosse Queen The Journeymen 6:00

JB'sThe Band That Should Not Be with Paxico 10:00

Bluebird SpringsThe Fabulous Baloney Skins 6:00

Got a show? Let us know!We'll put it in, yo. [email protected]

Sunday, May 24

Monday, May 25

Tuesday, May 26

Popcorn TavernSuperDeece Band 10:00

Popcorn TavernShawn's Open Jam 10:00

Del's BarChubba's Open Jam 10:00

Houghton’sJohn and Mike Caucutt 10:00

Bella Madre, May 21-24Clark's Grove, Minn: Harmony ParkHeadliners: Bassnectar, Del tha Funky Homosapien, Tea Leaf Green, Bill Kreutzmann, EOTOWe Recommend: The Big Wu, Pert Near Sandstone, Heiurspecs, Panjea, Ana SiaBest Perk: The oak canopy above Harmony Park

Summer Camp, May 22-24Chillicothe, Ill.: Three Sisters ParkHeadliners: moe., Umphrey's McGee, Willie Nelson, Keller Williams, Les ClaypoolWe Recommend: Medeski Scofield Martin & Wood, Dark Star Orchestra, Steez, GomezBest Perk: Three nights of moe., and two nights of Umphrey’s (if you’re into that sort of thing)

Campout Roots Festival & Gathering, June 4-7Black River Falls, Wis.: NCN North CampgroundHeadliners: Trampled by Turtles, Pert Near Sandstone, Down Lo, Charlie ParrWe Recommend: Smokin' Bandits, Vinny Weible & Soul Logic, Sean ShielBest Perk: The best time you can have at a nude resort with your clothes on!

Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival, June 11-14Manchester, Tenn.: Some big fieldHeadliners: Bruce Springsteen, Phish, Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nails, David ByrneWe Recommend: Erykah Badu, The Mars Volta, Allen Toussaint, Neko Case, King Sunny AdéBest Perk: More music than you could ever see

Bandit County Fair, June 12-14DeSoto, Wis: Gunner'sHeadliners: Smokin' Bandits, Great American Taxi, Willy Porter, Fat Maw RooneyWe Recommend: Shoeless Revolution, New Grass Review, Porcupine, T.U.G.G., Moon Boot PosseBest Perk: Vince Herman as festival MC

Telluride Bluegrass Festival, June 18-21Telluride, Col.: TellurideHeadliners: Sam Bush Band, Elvis Costello, David Byrne, Emmylou Harris, Telluride House BandWe Recommend: Béla Fleck & Toumani Diabate, Railroad Earth, YMSB, Todd Snider

Best Perk: Being a mile high

Rothbury Music Festival, July 2-5Rothbury, Mich.: Double JJ RanchHeadliners: The Dead, Bob Dylan, The String Cheese Incident, The Black CrowesWe Recommend: Broken Social Scene, The Disco Biscuits, Femi Kuti, 2020 SoundsystemBest Perk: Panel discussions with artists and environmental activists

10,000 Lakes Festival, July 22-25Detroit Lakes, Minn: Soo Pass RanchHeadliners: Dave Matthews Band, Widespread Panic, Wilco, Umphrey's McGeeWe Recommend: Atmoshphere, Ozomatli, Cloud Cult, Railroad Earth, Pretty LightsBest Perk: A shady campsite, all too rare at festivals this size

Big Wu Family Reunion, July 10-12Geneva, Minn.: Harmony ParkHeadliners: The Big Wu, Great American Taxi, God Johnson, Pert’ Near SandstoneWe Recommend: The Histronic, Steez, Soap, Fat Maw Rooeny, Willie WaldmanBest Perk: THE BIG WU!

Lollapalooza, August 7-9Chicago, Ill.: Grant ParkHeadliners: Depeche Mode, Tool, The Killers, Jane's Addiction, Kings of Leon, Lou ReedWe Recommend: Coheed and Cambria, Fleet Foxes, Thievery Corporation, STS9Best Perk: Staying in a hotel, taking a shower

2009 Summer Festy Guide

May �1, �009 19

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Open 7 days a week inside Festival Foods, La Crosse

608-787-4500 • www.altra.org

$2.00 Domestics 7-12pm

Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM$2.50

$2.00 Dr. Drinks

Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622

$1.75 - Light Taps$1.75 DR. Shots $1.75

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite& PBR Taps

Saturday $2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM$5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight

top shots joke of the week

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

It was said that a black man would be president when pigs flew. And behold, 100 days into Obama’s presidency, Swine Flu.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 164�0

Slug_0-7

Title:

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Eurographics 39002 Version:01 04-27-09 jv

Date post:	02-Mar-2016
Category:	Documents
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Issue 164

Documents