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RBW Online
ISSUE 280 Date 5th April 2013
Issue 280
Page 2
Lead governor of Stafford Hospital Mike Fowkes is quoted on the web as saying
ldquoProposals to strip Stafford and Cannock Chase Hospitals of important fundamen-tal services by transferring all births and emergency surgery to other hospitals and downgrading AampE has come as a shock to governors especially at a time
when the standard of care has improved beyond recognitionrdquo
ldquoGovernors were bdquovery disappointed‟ the recently appointed GP Clinical Commis-
sioning Groups had not been strong in their negotiations with the expert team employed by Monitor responsible for putting forward the list of recommenda-tionsrdquo
―From the outset Monitor informed governors that the GPs would have a signifi-cant role to play in the future of Stafford and Cannock Chase Hospital and would
inform the review team of clinical services that would need to be protected for the benefit of patients It can
only be presumed from the report that our local GPs support transferring clinical services to other hospitals
ldquoGovernors were also concerned the criticism and adverse publicity still being published about the negligence
and poor care which took place at Stafford Hospital was having a detrimental effect on the morale of doctors
and nurses who had transformedlsquo safety and care in recent years
―Governors will continue to meet with the Monitor team to challenge their proposals and fight to retain ser-vices They also recognise the dedication and work that is being undertaken by local community groups to
keep clinical services locally
―Everyone has a part to play in saving our hospitals including critics of the past
―Another major concern of the governors was the suggestion Mid Staffordshire NHS Foundation Trust could in the future be merged with another trust This is at a time when the hospitals in Stoke Wolverhampton and
Walsall are already facing financial sustainability and quality of care issues
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Campaign Volunteer Centre
Guildhall Shopping Centre
Open on 26th March
Imag
es M
auri
ce B
liss
on
That make the meadows green and poured round all
Old Oceans gray and melancholy wastemdash
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man
William Cullen Bryant Thanatopsis (1817-1821) line
43
Once more upon the waters yet once more
And the waves bound beneath me as a steed
That knows his rider
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto III
(1816) Stanza 2
Roll on thou deep and dark blue Oceanmdashroll
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain
Man marks the earth with ruinmdashhis control
Stops with the shore
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 179
Mme de StaeumllmdashCorinne Book I Chapter IV (Pub
before Byron)
The image of Eternitymdashthe throne
Of the Invisible even from out thy slime
The monsters of the deep are made each zone
Obeys thee thou goest forth dread fathomless alone
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 183
And I have loved thee Ocean and my joy
Of youthful sports was on thy breast to be
Borne like thy bubbles onward from a boy
I wantond with thy breakers
And laid my hand upon thy manemdashas I do here
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 184
The breaking waves dashed high
On a stern and rock-bound coast
And the woods against a stormy sky
Their giant branches tossd
Felicia Hemans The Landing of the Pilgrim Fathers in
New England (1826)
Praise the sea but keep on land
George Herbert Jacula Prudentum (1651)
Rich and various gems inlay
The unadorned bosom of the deep
John Milton Comus (1634) 22
He laid his hand upon the Oceans mane
And played familiar with his hoary locks
Robert Pollok The Course of Time (1827) Book IV
line 689
The precious stone set in the silver sea
William Shakespeare Richard II (c 1595) Act II
scene 1 line 46
I have seen
A curious child who dwelt upon a tract
Of inland ground applying to his ear
The convolutions of a smooth-lipped shell
To which in silence hushed his very soul
Listened intensely and his countenance soon
Brightened with joy for from within were heard
Murmurings whereby the monitor expressed
Mysterious union with its native sea
William Wordsworth The Excursion (1814)
Book IV
Ocean into tempest wrought
To waft a feather or to drown a fly
Edward Young Night Thoughts (1742-1745)
Night I line 153
Oceans are major bodies of saline water
and the principal component of the
hydrosphere
Approximately 71 of the Earths surface is covered by ocean a continuous body of water that is divided into principal oceans
and smaller seas
httpenwikiquoteorgwikiOceans
Issue 280
Page 4
LIFE OBSERVATIONS The smell of bread and butter pudding straight from the oven mdash divine How one misses the ticking of a clock Easter snow what a disaster for new born lambs thousands and thou-sands lost Funny things haircuts some take time to get used to Rising above trivia with a smile isnlsquot as easy as some make it look It comes as a great burden to realise what cannot be cured must be endured for all the days of remaining life Some events never fade Some things change one forever There is no forgetting only an awareness of before
Issue 280
Page 5
Subcutaneous adj located under the skin
Vehemence adj expressed with conviction done forcefully with vigour
Idiosyncrasy noun quirk and way of behaviour or thinking that is peculiar to a per-
son or a group mdash odd or unusual
Surmise verb make a guess about something on the basis of limited data or in-
tuition
Conjecture noun guesswork judgments made on incomplete data
Hypothesis noun theory still needing investigation a tentative explanation
Recapitulate verb restate main points of argument or proposal for a second time
to summarize
Gregarious adj outgoing friendly and social plants mdash growing together in clusters
Gadabout noun a restless person aimless and always seeking pleasure
Distrait adj inattentive distracted or absentndashminded
Gadfly noun a fly that bites livestock and is
blood sucking someone who is annoying and
persistent
Horse-fly is the common name for members of the family
Tabanidae Apart from the common horse-flies broad
categories of biting bloodsucking Tabanidae are variously
known as breeze flies clegs or clags deer flies gadflies or
zimbs In Canada they also are known as Bull Dog Flies
Source Wikipedia
CLIVErsquos three FREE e-books
NOW PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspx
PageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Issue 280
Page 6
Stephrsquos two FREE poetry e-chapbooks now published on wwwissuucom
risingbrookwriters
and on RBW main site
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspxPageID=52
2012 RBW FREE e-books NOW
PUBLISHED on RBW and issuucom
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
DynamicPageaspxPageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Random Words tea recoil shoelace jester optician incumbent milk periscope mutiny Assignment describe a character using fruit or animals
The conversation in the next teashop booth was interesting Put a drop o that milk in me tea will yer It should be alright it aint gone off too much yet I reckons the restll be use ter mek
cheese with Then theyll flog it off at the opti-cians There was the sound of sugar being stirred and of tea being slurped
Thats better Now you mark my words Ethel theres a mutiny brewing there The in-cumbent runs the place on a shoelace itd be shoestring if you could get em He recoils from improvements and puts rubbish in the window Its a disgrace that window is
Hes not as good a jester as the last one neither I need a better periscope to see what hes up to
copy Agg | Dreamstime Stock Photos amp Stock Free Images
Issue 280
Page 7
Memories - My favourite teacher (RV) I was ten years old when I first met my favourite teacher and he I guess was not far short of seventy It was wartime and he had come out of retire-ment to resume the headship of the school that he himself had founded some forty years earlier His successor had been called up for military service I remember his first lesson in algebra (I learned later that he had won first class honours in mathematics at Cambridge) No mention of any technical terms like equation He drew on the black-board a picture of simple balancing scales There are marbles piled on each side of the scales but some of the marbles on one side are concealed in a bag He asked us ldquoAssuming that the two sides balance exactly how many marbles are there in the bagrdquo I believe he wanted us to enjoy the beauties of algebra as much he did A real teacher He loved his mathematics but he loved his Bible even more and in both his love was infectious How did he do it How was it that he got an eleven-year-old schoolboy excited about St Pauls Epistle to the Romans God who spared not his own son but freely gave him up for us all how shall he not with him freely give us all things I tell you that even today there are certain Bible verses that I cannot hear without thinking of my favourite teacher of seventy years ago In his time hed been an athlete and a serious cricketer And now from his first floor window looking over the sports field he watched the new gen-eration struggling to learn the mysterious arts of success with bat and with ball But it wasnt just the cricketers he was watching I remember one break time a few of us were on the field in front of the house and were joined by a new boy who suffered badly from asthma and was rather thin as a result I dont know how it started but suddenly we were dancing round this poor lad
shouting Skinny legs Skinny legs Skinny legs I can still hear the scream of the pulleys as that upstairs sash was thrown open I can still hear the anger in the voice that shouted Vs stop that I can feel the shame at my favourite teacher‟s timely rebuke Most of lifes serious lessons are leaned outside the classroom aren‟t they
Wik
iped
ia image
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
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To contact RBW please use the website contact box
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publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
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bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
Issue 280
Page 2
Lead governor of Stafford Hospital Mike Fowkes is quoted on the web as saying
ldquoProposals to strip Stafford and Cannock Chase Hospitals of important fundamen-tal services by transferring all births and emergency surgery to other hospitals and downgrading AampE has come as a shock to governors especially at a time
when the standard of care has improved beyond recognitionrdquo
ldquoGovernors were bdquovery disappointed‟ the recently appointed GP Clinical Commis-
sioning Groups had not been strong in their negotiations with the expert team employed by Monitor responsible for putting forward the list of recommenda-tionsrdquo
―From the outset Monitor informed governors that the GPs would have a signifi-cant role to play in the future of Stafford and Cannock Chase Hospital and would
inform the review team of clinical services that would need to be protected for the benefit of patients It can
only be presumed from the report that our local GPs support transferring clinical services to other hospitals
ldquoGovernors were also concerned the criticism and adverse publicity still being published about the negligence
and poor care which took place at Stafford Hospital was having a detrimental effect on the morale of doctors
and nurses who had transformedlsquo safety and care in recent years
―Governors will continue to meet with the Monitor team to challenge their proposals and fight to retain ser-vices They also recognise the dedication and work that is being undertaken by local community groups to
keep clinical services locally
―Everyone has a part to play in saving our hospitals including critics of the past
―Another major concern of the governors was the suggestion Mid Staffordshire NHS Foundation Trust could in the future be merged with another trust This is at a time when the hospitals in Stoke Wolverhampton and
Walsall are already facing financial sustainability and quality of care issues
htt
p
ww
wc
qc
org
uks
ites
defa
ult
fil
es
med
iar
epo
rts
RJD
_M
id_S
taff
ord
shir
e_N
HS
_F
oundat
ion_T
rust
_R
JD01
_S
taff
ord
_H
osp
ital_
20130306p
df
Mar
ch 2
013 H
osp
ital In
spec
tio
n R
epo
rt
Campaign Volunteer Centre
Guildhall Shopping Centre
Open on 26th March
Imag
es M
auri
ce B
liss
on
That make the meadows green and poured round all
Old Oceans gray and melancholy wastemdash
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man
William Cullen Bryant Thanatopsis (1817-1821) line
43
Once more upon the waters yet once more
And the waves bound beneath me as a steed
That knows his rider
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto III
(1816) Stanza 2
Roll on thou deep and dark blue Oceanmdashroll
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain
Man marks the earth with ruinmdashhis control
Stops with the shore
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 179
Mme de StaeumllmdashCorinne Book I Chapter IV (Pub
before Byron)
The image of Eternitymdashthe throne
Of the Invisible even from out thy slime
The monsters of the deep are made each zone
Obeys thee thou goest forth dread fathomless alone
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 183
And I have loved thee Ocean and my joy
Of youthful sports was on thy breast to be
Borne like thy bubbles onward from a boy
I wantond with thy breakers
And laid my hand upon thy manemdashas I do here
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 184
The breaking waves dashed high
On a stern and rock-bound coast
And the woods against a stormy sky
Their giant branches tossd
Felicia Hemans The Landing of the Pilgrim Fathers in
New England (1826)
Praise the sea but keep on land
George Herbert Jacula Prudentum (1651)
Rich and various gems inlay
The unadorned bosom of the deep
John Milton Comus (1634) 22
He laid his hand upon the Oceans mane
And played familiar with his hoary locks
Robert Pollok The Course of Time (1827) Book IV
line 689
The precious stone set in the silver sea
William Shakespeare Richard II (c 1595) Act II
scene 1 line 46
I have seen
A curious child who dwelt upon a tract
Of inland ground applying to his ear
The convolutions of a smooth-lipped shell
To which in silence hushed his very soul
Listened intensely and his countenance soon
Brightened with joy for from within were heard
Murmurings whereby the monitor expressed
Mysterious union with its native sea
William Wordsworth The Excursion (1814)
Book IV
Ocean into tempest wrought
To waft a feather or to drown a fly
Edward Young Night Thoughts (1742-1745)
Night I line 153
Oceans are major bodies of saline water
and the principal component of the
hydrosphere
Approximately 71 of the Earths surface is covered by ocean a continuous body of water that is divided into principal oceans
and smaller seas
httpenwikiquoteorgwikiOceans
Issue 280
Page 4
LIFE OBSERVATIONS The smell of bread and butter pudding straight from the oven mdash divine How one misses the ticking of a clock Easter snow what a disaster for new born lambs thousands and thou-sands lost Funny things haircuts some take time to get used to Rising above trivia with a smile isnlsquot as easy as some make it look It comes as a great burden to realise what cannot be cured must be endured for all the days of remaining life Some events never fade Some things change one forever There is no forgetting only an awareness of before
Issue 280
Page 5
Subcutaneous adj located under the skin
Vehemence adj expressed with conviction done forcefully with vigour
Idiosyncrasy noun quirk and way of behaviour or thinking that is peculiar to a per-
son or a group mdash odd or unusual
Surmise verb make a guess about something on the basis of limited data or in-
tuition
Conjecture noun guesswork judgments made on incomplete data
Hypothesis noun theory still needing investigation a tentative explanation
Recapitulate verb restate main points of argument or proposal for a second time
to summarize
Gregarious adj outgoing friendly and social plants mdash growing together in clusters
Gadabout noun a restless person aimless and always seeking pleasure
Distrait adj inattentive distracted or absentndashminded
Gadfly noun a fly that bites livestock and is
blood sucking someone who is annoying and
persistent
Horse-fly is the common name for members of the family
Tabanidae Apart from the common horse-flies broad
categories of biting bloodsucking Tabanidae are variously
known as breeze flies clegs or clags deer flies gadflies or
zimbs In Canada they also are known as Bull Dog Flies
Source Wikipedia
CLIVErsquos three FREE e-books
NOW PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspx
PageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Issue 280
Page 6
Stephrsquos two FREE poetry e-chapbooks now published on wwwissuucom
risingbrookwriters
and on RBW main site
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspxPageID=52
2012 RBW FREE e-books NOW
PUBLISHED on RBW and issuucom
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
DynamicPageaspxPageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Random Words tea recoil shoelace jester optician incumbent milk periscope mutiny Assignment describe a character using fruit or animals
The conversation in the next teashop booth was interesting Put a drop o that milk in me tea will yer It should be alright it aint gone off too much yet I reckons the restll be use ter mek
cheese with Then theyll flog it off at the opti-cians There was the sound of sugar being stirred and of tea being slurped
Thats better Now you mark my words Ethel theres a mutiny brewing there The in-cumbent runs the place on a shoelace itd be shoestring if you could get em He recoils from improvements and puts rubbish in the window Its a disgrace that window is
Hes not as good a jester as the last one neither I need a better periscope to see what hes up to
copy Agg | Dreamstime Stock Photos amp Stock Free Images
Issue 280
Page 7
Memories - My favourite teacher (RV) I was ten years old when I first met my favourite teacher and he I guess was not far short of seventy It was wartime and he had come out of retire-ment to resume the headship of the school that he himself had founded some forty years earlier His successor had been called up for military service I remember his first lesson in algebra (I learned later that he had won first class honours in mathematics at Cambridge) No mention of any technical terms like equation He drew on the black-board a picture of simple balancing scales There are marbles piled on each side of the scales but some of the marbles on one side are concealed in a bag He asked us ldquoAssuming that the two sides balance exactly how many marbles are there in the bagrdquo I believe he wanted us to enjoy the beauties of algebra as much he did A real teacher He loved his mathematics but he loved his Bible even more and in both his love was infectious How did he do it How was it that he got an eleven-year-old schoolboy excited about St Pauls Epistle to the Romans God who spared not his own son but freely gave him up for us all how shall he not with him freely give us all things I tell you that even today there are certain Bible verses that I cannot hear without thinking of my favourite teacher of seventy years ago In his time hed been an athlete and a serious cricketer And now from his first floor window looking over the sports field he watched the new gen-eration struggling to learn the mysterious arts of success with bat and with ball But it wasnt just the cricketers he was watching I remember one break time a few of us were on the field in front of the house and were joined by a new boy who suffered badly from asthma and was rather thin as a result I dont know how it started but suddenly we were dancing round this poor lad
shouting Skinny legs Skinny legs Skinny legs I can still hear the scream of the pulleys as that upstairs sash was thrown open I can still hear the anger in the voice that shouted Vs stop that I can feel the shame at my favourite teacher‟s timely rebuke Most of lifes serious lessons are leaned outside the classroom aren‟t they
Wik
iped
ia image
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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To never pass on your details to anyone else
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sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
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bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
Campaign Volunteer Centre
Guildhall Shopping Centre
Open on 26th March
Imag
es M
auri
ce B
liss
on
That make the meadows green and poured round all
Old Oceans gray and melancholy wastemdash
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man
William Cullen Bryant Thanatopsis (1817-1821) line
43
Once more upon the waters yet once more
And the waves bound beneath me as a steed
That knows his rider
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto III
(1816) Stanza 2
Roll on thou deep and dark blue Oceanmdashroll
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain
Man marks the earth with ruinmdashhis control
Stops with the shore
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 179
Mme de StaeumllmdashCorinne Book I Chapter IV (Pub
before Byron)
The image of Eternitymdashthe throne
Of the Invisible even from out thy slime
The monsters of the deep are made each zone
Obeys thee thou goest forth dread fathomless alone
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 183
And I have loved thee Ocean and my joy
Of youthful sports was on thy breast to be
Borne like thy bubbles onward from a boy
I wantond with thy breakers
And laid my hand upon thy manemdashas I do here
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 184
The breaking waves dashed high
On a stern and rock-bound coast
And the woods against a stormy sky
Their giant branches tossd
Felicia Hemans The Landing of the Pilgrim Fathers in
New England (1826)
Praise the sea but keep on land
George Herbert Jacula Prudentum (1651)
Rich and various gems inlay
The unadorned bosom of the deep
John Milton Comus (1634) 22
He laid his hand upon the Oceans mane
And played familiar with his hoary locks
Robert Pollok The Course of Time (1827) Book IV
line 689
The precious stone set in the silver sea
William Shakespeare Richard II (c 1595) Act II
scene 1 line 46
I have seen
A curious child who dwelt upon a tract
Of inland ground applying to his ear
The convolutions of a smooth-lipped shell
To which in silence hushed his very soul
Listened intensely and his countenance soon
Brightened with joy for from within were heard
Murmurings whereby the monitor expressed
Mysterious union with its native sea
William Wordsworth The Excursion (1814)
Book IV
Ocean into tempest wrought
To waft a feather or to drown a fly
Edward Young Night Thoughts (1742-1745)
Night I line 153
Oceans are major bodies of saline water
and the principal component of the
hydrosphere
Approximately 71 of the Earths surface is covered by ocean a continuous body of water that is divided into principal oceans
and smaller seas
httpenwikiquoteorgwikiOceans
Issue 280
Page 4
LIFE OBSERVATIONS The smell of bread and butter pudding straight from the oven mdash divine How one misses the ticking of a clock Easter snow what a disaster for new born lambs thousands and thou-sands lost Funny things haircuts some take time to get used to Rising above trivia with a smile isnlsquot as easy as some make it look It comes as a great burden to realise what cannot be cured must be endured for all the days of remaining life Some events never fade Some things change one forever There is no forgetting only an awareness of before
Issue 280
Page 5
Subcutaneous adj located under the skin
Vehemence adj expressed with conviction done forcefully with vigour
Idiosyncrasy noun quirk and way of behaviour or thinking that is peculiar to a per-
son or a group mdash odd or unusual
Surmise verb make a guess about something on the basis of limited data or in-
tuition
Conjecture noun guesswork judgments made on incomplete data
Hypothesis noun theory still needing investigation a tentative explanation
Recapitulate verb restate main points of argument or proposal for a second time
to summarize
Gregarious adj outgoing friendly and social plants mdash growing together in clusters
Gadabout noun a restless person aimless and always seeking pleasure
Distrait adj inattentive distracted or absentndashminded
Gadfly noun a fly that bites livestock and is
blood sucking someone who is annoying and
persistent
Horse-fly is the common name for members of the family
Tabanidae Apart from the common horse-flies broad
categories of biting bloodsucking Tabanidae are variously
known as breeze flies clegs or clags deer flies gadflies or
zimbs In Canada they also are known as Bull Dog Flies
Source Wikipedia
CLIVErsquos three FREE e-books
NOW PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspx
PageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Issue 280
Page 6
Stephrsquos two FREE poetry e-chapbooks now published on wwwissuucom
risingbrookwriters
and on RBW main site
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspxPageID=52
2012 RBW FREE e-books NOW
PUBLISHED on RBW and issuucom
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
DynamicPageaspxPageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Random Words tea recoil shoelace jester optician incumbent milk periscope mutiny Assignment describe a character using fruit or animals
The conversation in the next teashop booth was interesting Put a drop o that milk in me tea will yer It should be alright it aint gone off too much yet I reckons the restll be use ter mek
cheese with Then theyll flog it off at the opti-cians There was the sound of sugar being stirred and of tea being slurped
Thats better Now you mark my words Ethel theres a mutiny brewing there The in-cumbent runs the place on a shoelace itd be shoestring if you could get em He recoils from improvements and puts rubbish in the window Its a disgrace that window is
Hes not as good a jester as the last one neither I need a better periscope to see what hes up to
copy Agg | Dreamstime Stock Photos amp Stock Free Images
Issue 280
Page 7
Memories - My favourite teacher (RV) I was ten years old when I first met my favourite teacher and he I guess was not far short of seventy It was wartime and he had come out of retire-ment to resume the headship of the school that he himself had founded some forty years earlier His successor had been called up for military service I remember his first lesson in algebra (I learned later that he had won first class honours in mathematics at Cambridge) No mention of any technical terms like equation He drew on the black-board a picture of simple balancing scales There are marbles piled on each side of the scales but some of the marbles on one side are concealed in a bag He asked us ldquoAssuming that the two sides balance exactly how many marbles are there in the bagrdquo I believe he wanted us to enjoy the beauties of algebra as much he did A real teacher He loved his mathematics but he loved his Bible even more and in both his love was infectious How did he do it How was it that he got an eleven-year-old schoolboy excited about St Pauls Epistle to the Romans God who spared not his own son but freely gave him up for us all how shall he not with him freely give us all things I tell you that even today there are certain Bible verses that I cannot hear without thinking of my favourite teacher of seventy years ago In his time hed been an athlete and a serious cricketer And now from his first floor window looking over the sports field he watched the new gen-eration struggling to learn the mysterious arts of success with bat and with ball But it wasnt just the cricketers he was watching I remember one break time a few of us were on the field in front of the house and were joined by a new boy who suffered badly from asthma and was rather thin as a result I dont know how it started but suddenly we were dancing round this poor lad
shouting Skinny legs Skinny legs Skinny legs I can still hear the scream of the pulleys as that upstairs sash was thrown open I can still hear the anger in the voice that shouted Vs stop that I can feel the shame at my favourite teacher‟s timely rebuke Most of lifes serious lessons are leaned outside the classroom aren‟t they
Wik
iped
ia image
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
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To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
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publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
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bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
That make the meadows green and poured round all
Old Oceans gray and melancholy wastemdash
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man
William Cullen Bryant Thanatopsis (1817-1821) line
43
Once more upon the waters yet once more
And the waves bound beneath me as a steed
That knows his rider
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto III
(1816) Stanza 2
Roll on thou deep and dark blue Oceanmdashroll
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain
Man marks the earth with ruinmdashhis control
Stops with the shore
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 179
Mme de StaeumllmdashCorinne Book I Chapter IV (Pub
before Byron)
The image of Eternitymdashthe throne
Of the Invisible even from out thy slime
The monsters of the deep are made each zone
Obeys thee thou goest forth dread fathomless alone
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 183
And I have loved thee Ocean and my joy
Of youthful sports was on thy breast to be
Borne like thy bubbles onward from a boy
I wantond with thy breakers
And laid my hand upon thy manemdashas I do here
Lord Byron Childe Harolds Pilgrimage Canto IV
(1818) Stanza 184
The breaking waves dashed high
On a stern and rock-bound coast
And the woods against a stormy sky
Their giant branches tossd
Felicia Hemans The Landing of the Pilgrim Fathers in
New England (1826)
Praise the sea but keep on land
George Herbert Jacula Prudentum (1651)
Rich and various gems inlay
The unadorned bosom of the deep
John Milton Comus (1634) 22
He laid his hand upon the Oceans mane
And played familiar with his hoary locks
Robert Pollok The Course of Time (1827) Book IV
line 689
The precious stone set in the silver sea
William Shakespeare Richard II (c 1595) Act II
scene 1 line 46
I have seen
A curious child who dwelt upon a tract
Of inland ground applying to his ear
The convolutions of a smooth-lipped shell
To which in silence hushed his very soul
Listened intensely and his countenance soon
Brightened with joy for from within were heard
Murmurings whereby the monitor expressed
Mysterious union with its native sea
William Wordsworth The Excursion (1814)
Book IV
Ocean into tempest wrought
To waft a feather or to drown a fly
Edward Young Night Thoughts (1742-1745)
Night I line 153
Oceans are major bodies of saline water
and the principal component of the
hydrosphere
Approximately 71 of the Earths surface is covered by ocean a continuous body of water that is divided into principal oceans
and smaller seas
httpenwikiquoteorgwikiOceans
Issue 280
Page 4
LIFE OBSERVATIONS The smell of bread and butter pudding straight from the oven mdash divine How one misses the ticking of a clock Easter snow what a disaster for new born lambs thousands and thou-sands lost Funny things haircuts some take time to get used to Rising above trivia with a smile isnlsquot as easy as some make it look It comes as a great burden to realise what cannot be cured must be endured for all the days of remaining life Some events never fade Some things change one forever There is no forgetting only an awareness of before
Issue 280
Page 5
Subcutaneous adj located under the skin
Vehemence adj expressed with conviction done forcefully with vigour
Idiosyncrasy noun quirk and way of behaviour or thinking that is peculiar to a per-
son or a group mdash odd or unusual
Surmise verb make a guess about something on the basis of limited data or in-
tuition
Conjecture noun guesswork judgments made on incomplete data
Hypothesis noun theory still needing investigation a tentative explanation
Recapitulate verb restate main points of argument or proposal for a second time
to summarize
Gregarious adj outgoing friendly and social plants mdash growing together in clusters
Gadabout noun a restless person aimless and always seeking pleasure
Distrait adj inattentive distracted or absentndashminded
Gadfly noun a fly that bites livestock and is
blood sucking someone who is annoying and
persistent
Horse-fly is the common name for members of the family
Tabanidae Apart from the common horse-flies broad
categories of biting bloodsucking Tabanidae are variously
known as breeze flies clegs or clags deer flies gadflies or
zimbs In Canada they also are known as Bull Dog Flies
Source Wikipedia
CLIVErsquos three FREE e-books
NOW PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspx
PageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Issue 280
Page 6
Stephrsquos two FREE poetry e-chapbooks now published on wwwissuucom
risingbrookwriters
and on RBW main site
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspxPageID=52
2012 RBW FREE e-books NOW
PUBLISHED on RBW and issuucom
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
DynamicPageaspxPageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Random Words tea recoil shoelace jester optician incumbent milk periscope mutiny Assignment describe a character using fruit or animals
The conversation in the next teashop booth was interesting Put a drop o that milk in me tea will yer It should be alright it aint gone off too much yet I reckons the restll be use ter mek
cheese with Then theyll flog it off at the opti-cians There was the sound of sugar being stirred and of tea being slurped
Thats better Now you mark my words Ethel theres a mutiny brewing there The in-cumbent runs the place on a shoelace itd be shoestring if you could get em He recoils from improvements and puts rubbish in the window Its a disgrace that window is
Hes not as good a jester as the last one neither I need a better periscope to see what hes up to
copy Agg | Dreamstime Stock Photos amp Stock Free Images
Issue 280
Page 7
Memories - My favourite teacher (RV) I was ten years old when I first met my favourite teacher and he I guess was not far short of seventy It was wartime and he had come out of retire-ment to resume the headship of the school that he himself had founded some forty years earlier His successor had been called up for military service I remember his first lesson in algebra (I learned later that he had won first class honours in mathematics at Cambridge) No mention of any technical terms like equation He drew on the black-board a picture of simple balancing scales There are marbles piled on each side of the scales but some of the marbles on one side are concealed in a bag He asked us ldquoAssuming that the two sides balance exactly how many marbles are there in the bagrdquo I believe he wanted us to enjoy the beauties of algebra as much he did A real teacher He loved his mathematics but he loved his Bible even more and in both his love was infectious How did he do it How was it that he got an eleven-year-old schoolboy excited about St Pauls Epistle to the Romans God who spared not his own son but freely gave him up for us all how shall he not with him freely give us all things I tell you that even today there are certain Bible verses that I cannot hear without thinking of my favourite teacher of seventy years ago In his time hed been an athlete and a serious cricketer And now from his first floor window looking over the sports field he watched the new gen-eration struggling to learn the mysterious arts of success with bat and with ball But it wasnt just the cricketers he was watching I remember one break time a few of us were on the field in front of the house and were joined by a new boy who suffered badly from asthma and was rather thin as a result I dont know how it started but suddenly we were dancing round this poor lad
shouting Skinny legs Skinny legs Skinny legs I can still hear the scream of the pulleys as that upstairs sash was thrown open I can still hear the anger in the voice that shouted Vs stop that I can feel the shame at my favourite teacher‟s timely rebuke Most of lifes serious lessons are leaned outside the classroom aren‟t they
Wik
iped
ia image
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
LIFE OBSERVATIONS The smell of bread and butter pudding straight from the oven mdash divine How one misses the ticking of a clock Easter snow what a disaster for new born lambs thousands and thou-sands lost Funny things haircuts some take time to get used to Rising above trivia with a smile isnlsquot as easy as some make it look It comes as a great burden to realise what cannot be cured must be endured for all the days of remaining life Some events never fade Some things change one forever There is no forgetting only an awareness of before
Issue 280
Page 5
Subcutaneous adj located under the skin
Vehemence adj expressed with conviction done forcefully with vigour
Idiosyncrasy noun quirk and way of behaviour or thinking that is peculiar to a per-
son or a group mdash odd or unusual
Surmise verb make a guess about something on the basis of limited data or in-
tuition
Conjecture noun guesswork judgments made on incomplete data
Hypothesis noun theory still needing investigation a tentative explanation
Recapitulate verb restate main points of argument or proposal for a second time
to summarize
Gregarious adj outgoing friendly and social plants mdash growing together in clusters
Gadabout noun a restless person aimless and always seeking pleasure
Distrait adj inattentive distracted or absentndashminded
Gadfly noun a fly that bites livestock and is
blood sucking someone who is annoying and
persistent
Horse-fly is the common name for members of the family
Tabanidae Apart from the common horse-flies broad
categories of biting bloodsucking Tabanidae are variously
known as breeze flies clegs or clags deer flies gadflies or
zimbs In Canada they also are known as Bull Dog Flies
Source Wikipedia
CLIVErsquos three FREE e-books
NOW PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspx
PageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Issue 280
Page 6
Stephrsquos two FREE poetry e-chapbooks now published on wwwissuucom
risingbrookwriters
and on RBW main site
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspxPageID=52
2012 RBW FREE e-books NOW
PUBLISHED on RBW and issuucom
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
DynamicPageaspxPageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Random Words tea recoil shoelace jester optician incumbent milk periscope mutiny Assignment describe a character using fruit or animals
The conversation in the next teashop booth was interesting Put a drop o that milk in me tea will yer It should be alright it aint gone off too much yet I reckons the restll be use ter mek
cheese with Then theyll flog it off at the opti-cians There was the sound of sugar being stirred and of tea being slurped
Thats better Now you mark my words Ethel theres a mutiny brewing there The in-cumbent runs the place on a shoelace itd be shoestring if you could get em He recoils from improvements and puts rubbish in the window Its a disgrace that window is
Hes not as good a jester as the last one neither I need a better periscope to see what hes up to
copy Agg | Dreamstime Stock Photos amp Stock Free Images
Issue 280
Page 7
Memories - My favourite teacher (RV) I was ten years old when I first met my favourite teacher and he I guess was not far short of seventy It was wartime and he had come out of retire-ment to resume the headship of the school that he himself had founded some forty years earlier His successor had been called up for military service I remember his first lesson in algebra (I learned later that he had won first class honours in mathematics at Cambridge) No mention of any technical terms like equation He drew on the black-board a picture of simple balancing scales There are marbles piled on each side of the scales but some of the marbles on one side are concealed in a bag He asked us ldquoAssuming that the two sides balance exactly how many marbles are there in the bagrdquo I believe he wanted us to enjoy the beauties of algebra as much he did A real teacher He loved his mathematics but he loved his Bible even more and in both his love was infectious How did he do it How was it that he got an eleven-year-old schoolboy excited about St Pauls Epistle to the Romans God who spared not his own son but freely gave him up for us all how shall he not with him freely give us all things I tell you that even today there are certain Bible verses that I cannot hear without thinking of my favourite teacher of seventy years ago In his time hed been an athlete and a serious cricketer And now from his first floor window looking over the sports field he watched the new gen-eration struggling to learn the mysterious arts of success with bat and with ball But it wasnt just the cricketers he was watching I remember one break time a few of us were on the field in front of the house and were joined by a new boy who suffered badly from asthma and was rather thin as a result I dont know how it started but suddenly we were dancing round this poor lad
shouting Skinny legs Skinny legs Skinny legs I can still hear the scream of the pulleys as that upstairs sash was thrown open I can still hear the anger in the voice that shouted Vs stop that I can feel the shame at my favourite teacher‟s timely rebuke Most of lifes serious lessons are leaned outside the classroom aren‟t they
Wik
iped
ia image
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
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To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
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copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
CLIVErsquos three FREE e-books
NOW PUBLISHED on RBW and issuu
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspx
PageID=52
httpissuucomrisingbrookwriters
Issue 280
Page 6
Stephrsquos two FREE poetry e-chapbooks now published on wwwissuucom
risingbrookwriters
and on RBW main site
httpwwwrisingbrookwritersorgukDynamicPageaspxPageID=52
2012 RBW FREE e-books NOW
PUBLISHED on RBW and issuucom
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Random Words tea recoil shoelace jester optician incumbent milk periscope mutiny Assignment describe a character using fruit or animals
The conversation in the next teashop booth was interesting Put a drop o that milk in me tea will yer It should be alright it aint gone off too much yet I reckons the restll be use ter mek
cheese with Then theyll flog it off at the opti-cians There was the sound of sugar being stirred and of tea being slurped
Thats better Now you mark my words Ethel theres a mutiny brewing there The in-cumbent runs the place on a shoelace itd be shoestring if you could get em He recoils from improvements and puts rubbish in the window Its a disgrace that window is
Hes not as good a jester as the last one neither I need a better periscope to see what hes up to
copy Agg | Dreamstime Stock Photos amp Stock Free Images
Issue 280
Page 7
Memories - My favourite teacher (RV) I was ten years old when I first met my favourite teacher and he I guess was not far short of seventy It was wartime and he had come out of retire-ment to resume the headship of the school that he himself had founded some forty years earlier His successor had been called up for military service I remember his first lesson in algebra (I learned later that he had won first class honours in mathematics at Cambridge) No mention of any technical terms like equation He drew on the black-board a picture of simple balancing scales There are marbles piled on each side of the scales but some of the marbles on one side are concealed in a bag He asked us ldquoAssuming that the two sides balance exactly how many marbles are there in the bagrdquo I believe he wanted us to enjoy the beauties of algebra as much he did A real teacher He loved his mathematics but he loved his Bible even more and in both his love was infectious How did he do it How was it that he got an eleven-year-old schoolboy excited about St Pauls Epistle to the Romans God who spared not his own son but freely gave him up for us all how shall he not with him freely give us all things I tell you that even today there are certain Bible verses that I cannot hear without thinking of my favourite teacher of seventy years ago In his time hed been an athlete and a serious cricketer And now from his first floor window looking over the sports field he watched the new gen-eration struggling to learn the mysterious arts of success with bat and with ball But it wasnt just the cricketers he was watching I remember one break time a few of us were on the field in front of the house and were joined by a new boy who suffered badly from asthma and was rather thin as a result I dont know how it started but suddenly we were dancing round this poor lad
shouting Skinny legs Skinny legs Skinny legs I can still hear the scream of the pulleys as that upstairs sash was thrown open I can still hear the anger in the voice that shouted Vs stop that I can feel the shame at my favourite teacher‟s timely rebuke Most of lifes serious lessons are leaned outside the classroom aren‟t they
Wik
iped
ia image
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
Issue 280
Page 7
Memories - My favourite teacher (RV) I was ten years old when I first met my favourite teacher and he I guess was not far short of seventy It was wartime and he had come out of retire-ment to resume the headship of the school that he himself had founded some forty years earlier His successor had been called up for military service I remember his first lesson in algebra (I learned later that he had won first class honours in mathematics at Cambridge) No mention of any technical terms like equation He drew on the black-board a picture of simple balancing scales There are marbles piled on each side of the scales but some of the marbles on one side are concealed in a bag He asked us ldquoAssuming that the two sides balance exactly how many marbles are there in the bagrdquo I believe he wanted us to enjoy the beauties of algebra as much he did A real teacher He loved his mathematics but he loved his Bible even more and in both his love was infectious How did he do it How was it that he got an eleven-year-old schoolboy excited about St Pauls Epistle to the Romans God who spared not his own son but freely gave him up for us all how shall he not with him freely give us all things I tell you that even today there are certain Bible verses that I cannot hear without thinking of my favourite teacher of seventy years ago In his time hed been an athlete and a serious cricketer And now from his first floor window looking over the sports field he watched the new gen-eration struggling to learn the mysterious arts of success with bat and with ball But it wasnt just the cricketers he was watching I remember one break time a few of us were on the field in front of the house and were joined by a new boy who suffered badly from asthma and was rather thin as a result I dont know how it started but suddenly we were dancing round this poor lad
shouting Skinny legs Skinny legs Skinny legs I can still hear the scream of the pulleys as that upstairs sash was thrown open I can still hear the anger in the voice that shouted Vs stop that I can feel the shame at my favourite teacher‟s timely rebuke Most of lifes serious lessons are leaned outside the classroom aren‟t they
Wik
iped
ia image
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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To never pass on your details to anyone else
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fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
YE SLIGHTY OBLONG TABLE OF TRENTBY
YE CAST OF CHARACTERS NB Historical accuracy is NOT encouraged
Nobles and similar Harffa Ye Kyng Not ye sharpest knyfe in ye drawer Queen Agatha (the tight fisted) Don Key O‟Tee Spanish ambassador to Court of Kyng Harffa Wants saint‟s big toe back Baron Leonard Bluddschott (Stoneybroke) Gwenever Goodenough Wyfe of ye Baron Della Bluddschott Ugly Daughter of Baron Bluddschott GalLa of Hadnt Hall A Prince but Charmless Daniel Smithers Constable of Bluddschott Castle and maybe the Corowner of the County Old Maids Vera Gloria and Bertha husband hunting sisters of Baron Bluddschott Evil Sherriff and Baron Morbidd up to no good Morgan le Fey king‟s evil sister - Merlin the king‟s magician Ye Knights [they‟re better during the day] Lancealittle Dwayne Cottavere Percivere Mailish (Narrator) Page to Baron Bluddschott (Probably Son by wife‟s sister) Religiouse Lionel Bishop of Trentby keeper of the Mappa Tuessdi Abbot Costello of Nottalot a Nasturtium Abbey desperate for pilgrim pennies Vladimir A monk from far off somewhere a Calligrapher Wyllfa the Druid Sorcerer Others Big Jock A Welsh poacher and short wide-boy Robbin‟ Hoodie another poacher and wide-boy Peeping Barry member of Hoodie‟s gang of miscreants Clarence the cook and a Wandering Troubadour None living The Ghostly Sword of Bluddschott Castle The Mappa Tuessdi Velum maps of the known world bought in a bazaar in Constantinople for a few pennies by Vladimir oft times copied The toe bone of St Gastric Gallstone of St Hilarious Crocodile and a Unicorn and a Dragon carved in stone
Good luck we rsquo l l need it
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
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fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
VERA BERTHA AND GLORIA CONSIDER THEIR OPTIONS
Bertha and Vera sighed forlornly as they moved away from the castle windows
but Gloria looked happy for the first time since her sisterslsquo engagements What a
difference a day makes Yesterday she had abandoned all hope of finding a hus-
band but since the knightslsquo courtyard workout the tables had turned
Gloria wasnlsquot daft she knew that Wyllfa had a purpose in organising the training
as he had Three virile knights and a not-so-manly one had been put through their
paces for her benefit alone She had no idea that breaking her sisterslsquo engage-
ments was part of Wyllfalsquos master plan
Thinking that Bertha and Vera were spoken for and ignoring the scarf-waving
Dwayne Gloria quite naturally believed that as the other three had been vying for
her affection shelsquod be in the glorious position of choosing her man What a fantas-
tic situation for an unattractive unmarried spinster
For hours her sisters had been gloating about their betrothals but now poor Ber-
tha was saddled with the feeble Baron Morbid a suitable name for such a de-
pressing man and Vera was lumbered with the rotund Spanish onion-
chewing Don Key Olsquo Tee Gloria felt an unholy tinge of spiteful pleasure but she
needed to verify her suspicions with the Welsh Druid as soon and as discretely as
possible And so when her sisters went out for their morning ride Gloria feigned a
headache and crept off to see Wyllfa
With supernatural foresight Wyllfa had prepared a special potion for the three
sisters and was a little surprised that only Gloria appeared Quickly he hid two of
the waiting goblets and said in greeting Good morning My Ladylsquo
Gloria didnlsquot bother to return his greeting but got straight on with the business
in hand Ilsquom not sure which knight I should chooselsquo she said You know them
best so what is your advicelsquo
Wyllfa pretended to think about the problem and said somewhat spitefully Sir
Dwayne dances welllsquo
Out of the questionlsquo snapped Gloria Ilsquove just seen the Spanish Ambassador
trying to kiss that mummylsquos boy in the corridor but donlsquot tell my sister Shelsquos wel-
come to him Lady Vera Don Key Olsquo Tee what a stupid title Now which one of the
other three knights should I chose What name suits me best Lady Gloria
Lancealittle Lady Gloria Persevere Or Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo
Wyllfa didnlsquot think it wise to reveal that his plan was to get all three sisters mar-
ried to his knights and didnlsquot really care how they paired up as long as he thwarted
Merlinlsquos plan and got Vera and Bertha to break off their engagements to Don Key
Olsquo Tee and Baron Morbid
Gloria was waiting for the Druidlsquos reply and tapping her foot impatiently but as
he glanced out of his turret window he saw that the two sisters had cut short their
ride and handed their horses to the stable boy Soon he would hear them clunking
up the stone steps to his workplace Wyllfa replaced the two goblets he had hidden
and did what he always did in such embarrassing moments he smiled mysteri-
ously and started chanting in Welsh Gloria became worried and stopped tapping
her foot
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo sang out Wyllfa in English
lsquoNo they wonlsquotlsquo said Gloria lsquoTheylsquove gone ridinglsquo
Soon your sisters will appearlsquo repeated Wyllfa hypnotically
Gloria held her breath expecting that at any moment shimmering white appari-
tions of Vera and Bertha would come floating into the room
The Welsh Druid began counting slowly in his native language and Gloria
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
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To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
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bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
started shivering Wyllfa reached twenty and stopped Footsteps could be heard climbing to-
wards the turret and so he lined up the three goblets and sang a lyrical lullaby over them Cen-
turies later the tune would be called Suo Ganlsquo and delight millions over the airwaves but at
that point in its history the song was enough to calm Gloria for the few minutes before her sis-
ters burst into the room
I thought you were in bed with a headachelsquo shouted Bertha
I knew you were up to somethinglsquo screamed Vera
Ladies be quiet while I concentrate and discover in the goblets the perfect partner for each
of you At sunrise I picked the enchanted herbs to reveal the truth and I have mixed three spe-
cial cocktails In five minutes we will have the answerlsquo He picked up the first goblet and
stared into the bits of floating herbs How shall I distribute three of my youthful well-built
knights to these ugly old spinsterslsquo he asked but he asked it in Welsh and so the sisters re-
mained blissfully ignorant and waited expectantly
After swirling the mixture several times Wyllfa called out Come forward Lady Gloria Sir
Cottavere is the husband for youlsquo
Gloria was pleased because she had thought all along that Lady Gloria Cottaverelsquo was the
best title
Wyllfa handed her the goblet Drink this and Sir Cottavere will be yourslsquo he said
As their sister drank the enchanted cocktail Vera and Bertha were consumed with jeal-
ousy but Wyllfa came to their rescue by swirling round the contents of the second goblet They
waited expectantly until the Druid called out Lady Vera come forwardlsquo
Vera gave a loud sigh of relief to hear that her fianceacute Don Key Olsquo Tee was to be replaced by
Sir Lancealittle and quickly drained her goblet to the last drop
Wyllfa was swirling round the contents of the last gob-
let and seemed somewhat confused by what he saw in-
side Bertha was nearly in tears as she waited Surely
the Druid would say that the feeble Baron Morbid should
be replaced by the muscular Sir Percivere She wanted
to scream out hurry up you stupid Druid but dare not
Wyllfa was thinking of the many times Bertha had in-
sulted him and so he prolonged her agony by swirling the
goblet staring at the contents and looking confused
Gloria and Vera were amused by their sisterlsquos agony
but because Wyllfa didnlsquot want the solemnity of the oc-
casion destroyed and turned into some sort of farce he
decided to stop the sisters gloating and put Bertha out
of her misery Quite suddenly he gave a triumphant
shout gave thanks to the heavens and called Bertha for-
ward
It is clear at lastlsquo he said as Bertha snatched the
goblet from his hand and drained the contents even be-
fore he had announced that Baron Morbid was not the
man for her and she should marry Sir Percivere instead
Wyllfa had triumphed
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
Abroad Thoughts From Home
(with apologies to Robert Browning)
Oh to be out of England
Now that Aprils here For whoever wakes in England
Will find just as he feared That the east winds blowing with might and main
And the pond in the park is frozen again And frost disfigures the hedgerows brow
In England now
Faith
Hick
ey im
age
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
Wednesday 24 October 2012 The Border Ballads
The Border Ballads are poems and songs anonymously composed between the Middle Ages and
the 17th century which reflect the turbulent violent life on the frontier between Scotland and Eng-land during this period (The two kingdoms not being united under a single monarch till 1603)
There were several major invasions from either side but also endemic lawlessness with constant local raids and feuds The raiding-parties were known as reivers The monarchs in London and Edinburgh had no effective control over the border lands what authority there was being in the
hands of the great lords the Howards Percies and Nevilles the Douglases and the Homes Since to be isolated and alone in these lawless conditions was to be every mans prey the people banded together in extended families or clans Armstrongs Eliots Grahams Nixons and others who in turn
formed alliances or conducted feuds which might last for generations Those who could afford it built themselves little castles for protection known as Pele towers the ruins of which still dot the
borders One of the most amusing accounts of Borders life in the 15th century was written by an Ital-ian priest Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini (later to become Pope Pius II) Whilst on a diplomatic mission
to Britain he stopped at a farmhouse on the English side of the river Tweed When nightfall ap-proached the men took refuge in a nearby tower for fear of Scots reivers but left the women be-
hind They explained that the reivers did not kill women the worst that could happen to them was rape which didnt matter Aeneas was also left in the farmhouse it was explained that being a stranger he was unlikely to have his throat cut During the night two of the women asked Aeneas
if he wanted sex He turned them down reflecting that if the reivers did then cut his throat he would have died in a state of mortal sin He preferred to spend the night bedded down in the straw
with the farm animals The Border Ballads tell of the lives lived by the border people Most of them tell of actual his-torical incidents They tell of robberies and murders feuds and betrayals The atmosphere is en-
tirely pagan there is little trace of Christianity there or indeed of any moral code other than the virtue of courage and the necessity of exacting revenge As the great historian G M Trevelyan (who was himself brought up in the borders) says of the border people in an essay The Middle
Marches Like the Homeric Greeks they were cruel coarse savages slaying each other as the beasts
of the forest yet they were also poets who could express in the grand style the inexorable fate of the individual man and woman and infinite pity for all the cruel things which they none the less perpetually inflicted upon one another
It fell about the Lammas tide When the moor-men win their hay The doughty Douglas vowed him ride
Into England to drive a prey He chose the Gordons and the Grahams
The Lindsays light and gay But the Jardines would not with him ride And they rue it to this day
Now he has burned all the dales of Tyne And parts of Bamburghsire
Three tall towers on Redeswire fells He left them all on fire He marched up to Newcastle
And rade it round about Crying Whas the lord of this castle And whas the lady ot
Then up and spake proud Percy there And oh but he spake high
I am the lord of this castle My wifes a lady gay If thou art the lord of this castle
Right well it pleaseth me For ere I cross the border fells
The ane of us shall die
And then he took a long spear in his hand Shod with the metal free
For to meet the Douglas there He rade right furiously But oh how pale his lady looked
Frae off the castle wall When down before the Scottish spears She saw proud Percy fall
(But Percy wasnt killed He was Henry Percy son of the Earl of Northumberland and he survived to be
better known as Harry Hotspur of Shakespeares history plays)
For more information about the Border Reivers see The Steel Bonnets by George Macdonald Fraser
Also httpenwikipediaorgwikiBorder_Reivers
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
Assignment MENlsquoS HATS
Why is it so difficult for me to write about menlsquos hats Is it because men wear-
ing hats seem to belong to a previous time My father wore a hat on Sundays for
walking with us to church - a wide brimmed hat which I now think of as worn by
FBI agents or gangsters in 1950s black and white films It would have been easy
to write about menlsquos hats then because of the associations with danger and
power But now itlsquos hard Making a young boy write about menlsquos hats a worse
punishment than a hundred lines Maybe writing about menlsquos hats could be inter-
esting Stretching the creative imagination like the undersized hat to fit the over
endowed head Padding out the details like you would pad out a hat too large for
a pea sized brain
In the past menlsquos hats belonged to uniforms Little boys in school caps and
blazers Armies of civil servants in bowlers with brollies The peaks of soldiers
hats hiding any fear in their eyes Flat caps and whippets to show class alle-
giance Menlsquos hats more than protection from the rain-more about power author-
ity and belonging
Perhaps fewer hats today are just a sign of fashions changing whims Or de-
cline in the use of public transport Well you canlsquot really wear a hat in a car
(although Welsh farmers still manage to) Men feeling more confident (they no
longer feel undressed without a hat or even a tie in the office) Or a rise in indi-
viduality Being ―different more important than membership of the club There
are less of them but hats have not disappeared completely
Of course menlsquos hats have moved from the world of work to the field of leisure
I am a Sunday walker I have three woollen hats and two deerstalkers My daugh-
ter bought me my first deerstalker two Christmases ago My son bought me a sec-
ond last Christmas without knowing about the first one Do they just think they
know what I would find useful for walking hills or do they have this image of the
happy rambler dad warm enough and still in control whatever the elements may
throw at him
If you are fond of the great outdoors Deerstalkers can be found in great quantity on ebay where the above example was found
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
The inspector called initially I saw him as a rabbitty little man with twitching nose to match
You reported a leak he said after hed shown me his ID card and extremely carefully returned it to his wallet Cant be too careful about leaks you know They starts small and before you know it youve got a full scale disaster on your hands
Id got him pegged now One of the lifelong worriers the sort of person who just couldnt and wouldnt be content to make a Mount Snowdon out of a mole-hill That would be far far too easy hed need to start at the molecular level or at the highest degree the microscopically tiny and end up with another Mount Everest or at least an Annapurna to be happy Id got him wrongly pegged he wasnt a rabbit at all he was an Aardvark
Long smooth brown hair a little ragged at the ends he worried about barbers and sharp scissors a flexible wriggly snout an ideal tool for sniffing out slight problems and blowing them up to giant economy sized proportions skinny legs that ended in an oversized posterior hands that could dig away at innocuous in-cidentals on forms until they added whole new dimensions to the term ticking all the boxes all balanced out by a narrow head that couldnt possibly contain enough brain cells for proper function
But I was disappointed Although a little hairy around the edges and not at all pointed the ears let me down
They were ordinary round ears He must have been human after all (CMH)
Late Snow March winds sculpt late Winter‟s snow into drifts along the road and balls of snow from laden trees plummet to the ground below Slow so slow the snow retreats melting away and underneath from icy death once more released Spring flowers emerging unsuppressed exultant burst to life Elizabeth Leaper httpbythewobblydumdumtreewordpresscom
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
SUBMISSION REMINDER We are collecting memories of
MY FIRST JOB or MY PEACE TIME NATIONAL SERVICE If you haven‟t yet sent in your memory submission can you please do so asap
And many many thanks to those who have already done so
A sneak preview of the re-launch of The New Writer This link - httpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-sampler lthttpwwwthenewwritercomtnw-114-samplergt - takes you to 12 sample pages And here are click throughs to bull a half price introductory copy lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (mid-April) and bull a reduced price one year subscription lthttpwwwthenewwritercomsubscribegt (Sorry but both of these offers are UK only) We think welsquove made a promising start ndash sign up for one of our pre-launch offers now and youlsquoll be the first to see how we develop TNW
The New Writer newbooks and tBkmag magazines wwwnewbooksmagcom wwwthenewwritercom facebookcomnewbooksmagazine twittercomnewbooksmag
httpwwwfestivaloffirstscompoetry-
comp4573243239
WIRRAL FESTIVAL
OF FIRSTS
OPEN POETRY
COMPETITION
RBW does not endorse this or any other
competition workshop or event organised by
third parties
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
MAITLANDS COMPLAYNT AGANIS THE
THIEVIS OF LIDDISDAIL FROM PINKERTONS
EDITION COLLATED WITH A MS OF MAIT-
LANDS POEMS IN THE LIBRARY OF EDIN-
BURGH COLLEGE
Of Liddisdail the commoun theifis
Sa peartlie steillis now and reifis
That nane may keip
Horse nolt nor scheip
Nor yett dar sleip
For their mischeifis
Thay plainly throw the country rydis
I trow the mekil devil thame gydis
Quhair they onsett
Ay in thair gaitt
Thair is na yet
Nor dor thame bydis
Thay leif rich nocht quhair ever thay ga
Thair can na thing be hid thame fra
For gif men wald
Thair housis hald
Than waxe thay bald
To burne and slay
Thay thiefs have neirhand herreit hail
Ettricke forest and Lawderdaill
Now are they gane
In Lawthiane
And spairis nane
That thay will waill
Thay landis ar with stouth sa socht
To extreame povertye ar broucht
Thay wicked schrowis
Has laid the plowis
That nane or few is
That are left oucht
Bot commoun taking of blak mail
Thay that had flesche and breid and aill
Now are sa wrakit
Made bair and nakit
Fane to be slaikit
With watter caill
Thay theifs that steillis and tursis hame
Ilk ane of them has ane to-name
Will of the Lawis
Hab of the Schawis
To mak bair wawis
Thay thinke na schame
Thay spuilye puir men of their pakis
Thay leif them nocht on bed nor bakis
Baith hen and cok
With reil and rok
The Lairdis Jok
All with him takis
Thay leif not spindell spoone nor speit
Bed boster blanket sark nor scheit
Johne of the Parke
Ryps kist and ark
For all sic wark
He is richt meit
He is weil kend John of the Syde
A greater theif did never ryde
He never tyris
For to brek byris
Ouir muir and myris
Ouir gude ane gyde
Thair is ane callet Clements Hob
Fra ilk puir wyfe reifis the wob
And all the lave
Quhatever they haife
The devil recave
Thairfoir his gob
To sic grit stouth quha eir wald trow it
Bot gif some great man it allowit
Rycht sair I trow
Thocht it be rew
Thair is sa few
That dar avow it
Of sum great men they have sic gait
That redy are thame to debait
And will up weir
Thair stolen geir
That nane dare steir
Thame air nor late
Quhat causis theifis us ourgang
Bot want of justice us amang
Nane takis cair
Thocht all for fear
Na man will spair
Now to do wrang
Of stouth thocht now thay come gude speid
That nother of men nor God has dreid
Yet or I die
Sum sail thame sie
Hing on a trie
Quhill thay be deidmdash
Quo Sir RM of Lethington knicht
httpwwwgutenbergorgfiles1274212742-h12742-
hhtm
Source Material
MINISTRELSY OF THE SCOTTISH BORDER CONSISTING OF HISTORICAL AND ROMANTIC
BALLADS COLLECTED IN THE SOUTHERN
COUNTIES OF SCOTLAND WITH A FEW OF
MODERN DATE FOUNDED UPON LOCAL
TRADITION IN THREE VOLUMES
WALTER SCOTT
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
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Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
ANE INTERLUDE OF THE LAYING OF A GAIST
This burlesque poem is preserved in the Bannatyne MSS It
is in the same strain with the verses concerning the Gyre
Carline (Vol II) As the mention of Bettokis Bowr occurs in
both pieces and as the scene of both is laid in East Lothian
they are perhaps composed by the same author The humour
of these fragments seems to have been directed against the
superstitions of Rome but it is now become very obscure
Nevertheless the verses are worthy of preservation for the
sake of the ancient language and allusions
Listen lordis I sall you tell
Off ane very grit marvell
Off Lord Fergussis gaist
How meikle Sir Andro it chest
Unto Beittokis bour
The silly sawle to succour
And he hes writtin unto me
Auld storeis for to se
Gif it appinis him to meit
How he sall conjure the spreit
And I haif red mony quars
Bath the Donet and Dominus que pars
Ryme maid and als redene
Baith Inglis and Latene
And ane story haif I to reid
Passes Bonitatem in the creid
To conjure the litill gaist he mon haif
Of tods tails ten thraif
And kast the grit holy water
With pater noster pitter patter
And ye man sit in a compas
And cry Harbert tuthless
Drag thow and yes draw
And sit thair quhill cok craw
The compas mon hallowit be
With aspergis me Domine
The haly writ schawis als
Thair man be hung about your bals
Pricket in ane woll poik
Of neis powder ane grit loik
Thir thingis mon ye beir
Brynt in ane doggis eir
Ane pluck ane pindill and ane palme cors
Thre tuskis of ane awld hors
And of ane yallow wob the warp
The boddome of ane awld herp
The held of ane cuttit reill
The band of an awld quheill
The taill of ane yeild sow
And ane bait of blew wow
Ane botene and ane brechame
And ane quhorle made of lame
To luke out at the litill boir
And cry Crystis crosse you befoir
And quhen ye see the litill gaist
Cumand to you in all haist
Cry loud Cryste eleisone
And speir quhat law it levis on
And gif it sayis on Godis ley
Than to the litill gaist ye say
With braid benedicite
mdashLitill gaist I conjure the
With lierie and larie
Bayth fra God and Sanct Marie
First with ane fischis mouth
And syne with ane sowlis towth
With ten pertane tais
And nyne knokis of windil strais
With thre heidis of curle doddymdash
And bid the gaist turn in a boddy
Then efter this conjuratioun
The litill gaist will fall in soun
And thair efter down ly
Cryand mercy petously
Than with your left heil sane
And it will nevir cum agane
As meikle as a mige amaist
He had a litill we leg
And it wes cant as any cleg
It wes wynd in ane wynden schet
Baythe the handis and the feit
Suppose this gaist wes litill
Yit it stal Godis quhitell
It stal fra peteous Abrahame
Ane quhorle and ane quhim quhame
It stal fra ye carle of ye mone
Ane payr of awld yin schone
It rane to Pencatelane
And wirreit ane awld chaplane
This litill gaist did na mair ill
Bot clok lyk a corn mill
And it wald play and hop
About the heid ane stre strop
And it wald sing and it wald dance
Oure fute and Orliance
Quha conjurit the litill gaist say ye
Nane bot the litill Spenzie fle
That with hir wit and her ingyne
Gart the gaist leif agane
And sune mareit the gaist the fle
And cround him King of Kandelie
And they gat them betwene
Orpheus king and Elpha quene
To reid quha will this gentill geist
Ye hard it not at Cockilbys feist
PROJECT GUTENBERG SOURCE MATERIAL
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust
If you are a subscribing email recipient to leave RBW Online is easy just email and say lsquounsubscribersquo and you will be immediately removed from the list If you have any suggestions for improvement to this service please let us know You dont have to take an active part to receive this workshop bulletin you can just sit back and enjoy the ride but if you could send back KUDOS feedback it is greatly appreciated RBW Privacy Promise A few simple contact details are all that are required and they will only be used for this bulletin service RBW promise to
Only send you details via the newsletter
To never pass on your details to anyone else
To always allow recipients to opt-out and unsubscribe at any time
wwwrisingbrookwritersorguk
To contact RBW please use the website contact box
PATRON Ian McMillan wwwian-mcmillancouk
Memberships and funders
Rising Brook Writers strives to be compliant with the requirements of the Data Protection Act RBW strives for accuracy and
fairness however can take no responsibility for any error misinterpretation or inaccuracy in any message sent by this mode of
publishing The opinions expressed are not necessarily in accordance with the policy of the charity E-mails and attachments
sent out by RBW are believed to be free from viruses which might affect computer systems into which they are received or
opened but it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free Rising Brook Writers accepts no responsi-
bility for any loss or damage arising in any way from their receipt opening or use Environment Recycling Please consider care-
fully if you need to print out any part or all of this message
To the best of our knowledge and belief all the material included in this publication is free to use in the public domain or has
been reproduced with permission andor source acknowledgement RBW have researched rights where possible if anyonersquos
copyright is accidentally breached please inform us and we will remove the item with apologies RBW is a community organisation
whose aims are purely educational and is entirely non-profit making If using material from this collection for educational pur-
poses please be so kind as to acknowledge RBW as the source Contributors retain the copyright to their own work Fiction
names characters places and incidents are imaginary or are being used in a fictitious way Any resemblance to actual people living
or dead is entirely coincidental
This bulletin is produced by volunteers
copy Rising Brook Writers 2013 mdash RCN 1117227 A voluntary charitable trust