Issue 439 27th May 2016

That notorious bumbler Bluddschotticus will be sub-contracting the construction of the Watling Street ... What could possibly go wrong?

FLASH FICTION: half-baked, sedative, sliding, gateaux, generous,

intermittent, flummery, pocket, chocolate, algebra

Assignment: Where are we now?

A warm welcome awaits. COME to WORKSHOP ... Temp. home: Rising Brook Baptist Church Cafe

Workshops same time 1.30 Monday.

Did you know ...?

Women in Refuges often

can’t vote ...

There is a campaign on 38 Degrees

website which illustrates the plight of

women fleeing domestic violence.

These women are finding it

impossible to register as voters.

They need more signatures on a

petition for change...

Domestic Violence knows no class

barriers ... A group of women in a

local community workshop several

years ago had all some experience of

domestic abuse. This ranged from

strangulation, fleeing to a Refuge after

a knife attack, to verbal bullying and

domination in a violent relationship.

None of these survivor, educated,

eloquent women would have fit the

stereotypical ‗dim-slapper‘ abuse

victim so often portrayed in

TV drama.

CRICKET, LOVELY CRICKET ...

Observation: England winning a Test Match is good.

England winning by an innings and 88 runs

isn‘t so good.

Nothing to watch now!

Here is a lovely quote from John Clare the peasant poet: ―do I write intelligable I am gen-neraly understood tho I do not use that awkward squad of pointings called commas colons semicolons etc"

www.issuu.com/risingbrookwriters

Assignment: Where are we now? (SMS) Aye or Nay? As the EU referendum draws near ‘where are we now?‘ seems a pertinent question to be considering as the country teeters on a knife edge, if the media are to be believed. Apparently, according to one media poll a con-siderable percentage of university students 63% don‘t even know the date of the vote. No idea of the day, or even for some 54%, the month, of this momentous event in their lives. It begs the question, if they don‘t know when to vote, would they have formed an opinion of how they would vote, if, of course, they could be bothered to turn out to vote? This is such a shame, because it could mean old folks (an age group who do bother to vote) will be deciding the future of the young. Old folks, who may carry a life time of mental prejudicial baggage along with them into the ballot booth. Arguably, old folks, who still remember WW2 and rationing, will not be the ones who suffer, or gain, from the referendum. They will be dead and gone before their decision for good, or ill, remains to blight, or enrich, the lives of future generations.

—-o0o—-

The Sadness of the Satnav Boogie. Never put your trust a Satnav The girl inside gets it wrong. Even when you ask her nicely, she comes over rather strong. You've done just what the screen says, and seen that you've got the right code. You end up in different county, On a similarly named road. Oh, never just follow your Satnav, you'll go there the long way 'round. The journey back's that much shorter, 'cos it's tired, and it needs a lie down.

3

Look in thy glass and tell the face thou viewest,

Now is the time that face should form another,

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest,

Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother.

For where is she so fair whose uneared womb

Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

Or who is he so fond will be the tomb,

Of his self-love to stop posterity?

Thou art thy mother's glass and she in thee

Calls back the lovely April of her prime,

So thou through windows of thine age shalt see,

Despite of wrinkles this thy golden time.

But if thou live remembered not to be,

Die single and thine image dies with thee.

4

Unthrifty loveliness why dost thou spend,

Upon thy self thy beauty's legacy?

Nature's bequest gives nothing but doth lend,

And being frank she lends to those are free:

Then beauteous niggard why dost thou abuse,

The bounteous largess given thee to give?

Profitless usurer why dost thou use

So great a sum of sums yet canst not live?

For having traffic with thy self alone,

Thou of thy self thy sweet self dost deceive,

Then how when nature calls thee to be gone,

What acceptable audit canst thou leave?

Thy unused beauty must be tombed with thee,

Which used lives th' executor to be.

http://www.gutenberg.org (educational/nfp usage)

All That Jazz! The RBW workshop comedy for 2016 is now online as a free e-book. www.issuu.com/risingbrookwriters www.risingbrookwriters.org.uk/DynamicPage.aspx?PageID=15 and on RBW Facebook page where it is free to like and share

THE ROYAL OAK STORY

Across the Wolverhampton Road from the Rising Brook

library and the shops is the Royal Oak Pub. Its one of many

with that name, and there is a story from history about the

Royal Oak that the sign commemorates. Our pub sign shows

the King on a horse with a peasant looking at a deer under an

oak tree. The real story is of a fugitive prince. As the sign

gets the tale wrong, its worth telling the story of the Royal

Oak and why it is the foundation of Oak Apple Day, which

happens every May 29th. Which this year falls before a bank

holiday and is a chance to wear a spring of oak – if you are a

Royalist.

The real Royal Oak was at Boscobel House in South Staffordshire, where a successor was

planted by Prince Charles a few years ago. It was an entirely appropriate gesture, for it was

Prince Charles who made the Oak a Royal symbol. But the Prince Charles who did this was

the son of Charles I, who would become Charles II in 1660. His visit in 1649 was anything

but social as he was desperate straits. His father, King Charles I, had lost the Civil War and

his head, so his son was a pretender to a throne that no longer existed. To put the monarchy

back in charge, Charles gathered an army and fought Cromwell's Roundheads at the Battle

of Worcester.

This was a total failure leaving Charles a fugitive with a price on his head. His fate would be to be executed if

the parliamentary army caught him. He headed north into Staffordshire, seeking Royalist and often Catholic

houses to stay in, trying to cross the River Severn to get to Wales but finding the bridges all guarded by Crom-

well's troops. He took refuge in houses owned by the Royalist Giffard family in South Staffordshire, who still

live in Chillington near Brewood, and put up the King in Boscobel House.

This and the nearby Giffard house of White Ladies were suitable refuges in the woods especially as Boscobel

had a priest hole to shelter Catholic priests who were outlawed. However this was considered too dangerous, the

story says, so Charles spent the night sleeping in a tree. So it is said. This was the famous Oak of legend, and it

became part of the legend of the King's escape and return.

When Charles returned to the throne in 1660, he made his birthday, May 29th, Oak Apple Day as a mark of re-

spect to the tree that had helped his escape, allegedly. Royalists wore a spring of oak on that day, and if children

did not wear one they had their bums pinched – hence pinchbum day is another name for May 29th. While the

tree may have played a part, a much bigger part in Charles‘s survival was the family who lived at Boscobel, the

Pendrels. They were given a pension of £100 for taking the risk of sheltering the Prince. It is still paid today, by

the Crown, though hardly worth a King's ransom today.

So this is a story of a tree, a fugitive prince, and the people who risked the wrath of the Roundheads to save him.

A turning point in history, and not a deer in sight. For some reason Boscobel and White Ladies don't seem to

celebrate Oak Apple Day, though Moseley Old Hall nearby does. Just another part of the mystery.

23.05.16

This is from the workshop first day of plotting ...

Roman Britain: somewhere very near here on the, being constructed, Watling Street

Year 77AD early March so the grand opening is supposed to be on the 15th (it had to be, didn't it)

Trentbilious Fort (aka Gailey)

Site of work camp for building the Watling Street, an arterial road for troop marching ...

(Appinan 5 on their route map) Building has started in Deva (Chester) and at Londinium.

The two ends of the road are supposed to meet at Trentbilious – they don‘t – hence a round-

about will be needed through the car park of the Spread Eagle pub. Two other roads going

south east are also supposed to join at this junction. It‘s a hub, a trading post. Lots of nefari-

ous opportunities. Trending: they all say ―Ciao‖ which is way out of timeline.

The Ninth legion have already started marching up from Londinium for the celebration and

games are to be held

Vicus: All the good positions are held by the totally corrupt Bluddschotticus family

Magistratus : slave Nigellos Bluddschotticus, he sub contracted out the road works hence the

grievous error in mapping, Viola Bluddschotticus his shrew of a wife who wants Nigellos to

gain full Roman Citizenship at any cost

Bean counters: Titus Purcious and Teflonicus Maximus, Gias Velcrow (very simple scribe —

adopted by Titus‘s sister-in-law Angelica when found in a basket ... So, who is he?)

Boris Bluddschott (no icus) Brother of Nigellous, (Welsh) wife Blodwyn, dim and jealous,

son Bulch, lazy and hairy

Forum:

Soothesayer: Fortunata Agonyia Arntyous

Fort: Commander Fattassious Fatallis; Daftus Brushious (second in command)

Regional Commander/Senator Marpellious Domestios coming with the Ninth Legion to

open the joining of the roads

Guards: Pearmainus, Bacon Fryed, Hovis Brightus

Temple of Vespa: Vera and Gloria, Vespals; keepers of the sacred

flame

Temple of Mother of Heaven: Isadora, High Priestess; Galenodorius

Greek Doctor; Hilarious, Theatre Owner puts on plays

Gladiators: Bresslorian, Glutinous Maximus and Flirticus

Traders: Collectus Alloto (scrap metal recycler)

Bathhouse Slaves: Smerkio and Flavia Exotica

Undertakers: Habeous and Corpus

Bertha Velcrow: madam, keeper of a seedy hotel — mother

of Angelica

Ancient Britons: Lurid Ashious and Floribunda

Druids: Aggrevious Wife and Daughter

Marcia of Mercia — Celtic group of waifs and slaves

STYLE SHEET READ THIS FIRST PLEASE BEFORE SUBMITTING

We have decided to make some submission changes, to make it easier and fairer: There will be a pool of stock characters as usual. Contributors will be restricted to three exclusive characters of their own making per plot strand. Contributors must not use any other contributor‘s exclusive characters. Contributors must have a plotline approved before starting. Contributors may only submit 500 words per week. Block submissions will not be accepted. It is important to other writers to be able to hear storylines unfolding week by week. The page limit of the book aims to be 150 pages. The house font is Tahoma 12pt - no bold, no italics, no coloured inks, no centred headings, ‗ for speech not ― , no underlining, no attachments, all submissions in ragged-right-edge embedded email, all submissions to be spelled checked and grammar checked prior to submission. One space only after a full stop. All contributors should acquaint themselves how to punctu-ate dialogue. A Buddy system, where a beginner may be asking the advice of a more experienced contributor prior to submission, is to be encouraged. NB: It has been agreed for workshoppers to go on a field trip to study a Roman dig site.

RESEARCH .... And yes I expect we’ll get a lot of historical stuff wrong ... It’s a comedy

not the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire ... which would have fallen a lot quicker if the Bluddschotts had anything to do with it ...

Watling Street is the name given to an ancient trackway in England and Wales that was first used by the

Britons mainly between the areas of modern Canterbury and St Albans using a natural ford near Westmin-ster. The Romans later paved the route, which then connected the Kentish ports of Dubris (Dover), Rutu-

piae (Richborough), Lemanis (Lympne), and Regulbium (Reculver) to their bridge over the Thames at Lond-inium (London). The continuation northwest passed Verulamium (St Albans) on its way to Viroconium (Wroxeter). The Romans considered the continuation on to Blatobulgium (Birrens) beyond Hadrian's Wall to

be part of the same route, leading some to call this Watling Street as well, although others restrict it to the southern leg. Watling Street was the site of Boudica's defeat by the Romans and the southwestern border

of the Danelaw. Today, the route from Dover to London forms part of the A2 and the route from London to Wroxeter forms much of the A5.

Name The original Celtic name for the road is unknown and the Romans may not have viewed it as a single path at all, dividing it amongst two separate itineraries in one 2nd-century list. The modern name instead derives

from the Old English Wæcelinga Stræt, from a time when "street" (Latin: via strata) referred to any paved road. The Waeclingas ("people of Waecla") were a tribe in the St Albans area in the early medieval period.

It is uncertain whether they were considered part of Middlesex or a British remnant wæcla being a possible variation of Old English wealhas, "foreigners").

Britons The broad, grassy trackway found by the Romans had already been used by the Britons for centuries. The

main path led from Richborough on the English Channel to a natural ford in the Thames at Thorney Island near Westminster to a site near Wroxeter, where it split. The western continuation went on to Holyhead while the northern ran to Chester and on to Scotland.

Roman The Romans began constructing paved roads shortly after their invasion in AD 43. The London portion of Watling Street was rediscovered during Christopher Wren's rebuilding of St Mary-le-Bow in 1671–73, follow-

ing the Great Fire. Modern excavations date its construction to the winter from AD 47 to 48. Around Lon-don, it was 7.5–8.7 m (25–29 ft) wide and paved with gravel. It was repeatedly redone, including at least

twice before the sack of London by Boudica's troops in 60 or 61. The road ran straight from the bridgehead on the Thames to what would become Newgate on the London Wall before passing over Ludgate Hill and the Fleet and dividing into Watling Street and the Devil's Highway west to Calleva (Silchester). Some of this

route is preserved beneath Old Kent Road.

The 2nd-century Antonine Itinerary gives the course of Watling Street from "Urioconium" (Wroxeter) to

"Portus Ritupis" (Richborough) as a part of its Second Route, which runs for 501 Roman miles from Ha-drian's Wall to Richborough:

Storyline: So in 77AD the Britons had been subdued somewhat and the road network

was still under construction. The construction programme was big. Mile after mile

25ft wide and covered in gravel with forest cut back so enemies couldn’t use trees for

cover. This was a huge undertaking. Thus poor old Nigellous has two ends to join up and

two more sections of other roads also approaching Trentbilious.

Thus the roundabout was invented ...

Image found on Wikipedia.

Original source uncertain.

Educational nfp use.

The Fort of Trentbilious where four sections of roads all should meet.

As if that‘s likely with Nigellous Bluddschotticus in charge of construction. Deva

(Chester) to Londinium is the Watling Street section in our story

Hadrian‘s wall wasn‘t yet built in 77AD the

time of our story.

WATLIN

G ST

REET

Making and Repairing Cloches.

Having finally bought a metre of ―Velcro,‖ to replace the broken zip on my giant

cloche the plastic cover is clean and dry and still waiting to be dealt with. However,

the cloche is being used exactly as it was intended and giving the Sweet Potatoes

much more favourable growing conditions, but instead of using the plastic cover, I

have carefully wrapped a pack of ―Horticultural Fleece,‖ over the metal framework.

One of the pre-wrapped packs that are sold everywhere was the perfect size and se-

cured with a number of cheap plastic clothes pegs, does the job admirably. Bricks

hold down the bottom edges and the pegs readily clip it to the metal frame, but also

give easy access to weed and water inside. The fleece doesn‘t really allow rain to

enter used like this, so it does need a couple of cans pouring in regularly, but the

plants have put on tremendous growth since being covered. Having said that, the

Sweet Potatoes are still way behind the plants that I put into a potato bag, at home,

in the unheated greenhouse. Then again the greenhouse plants are being troubled

with ―Fly,‖ whereas those under the fleece are clear of it, so it will be interesting to

compare the plants at the end of the season.

Several other people on the allotments have replaced their original, assorted,

plastic cloche covers with fleece and it occurred to me that it should be possible to

make a larger home made cloche than last Autumn‘s effort that I made to protect

my Chicory which was made using wire coat-hangers and fleece. At home I have

talked many times with my mother about different old-fashioned crafts and basket

weaving was one of them that had been mentioned because we have a mature Hazel

tree in the front garden and I am also a bit of a fan of Willows.

We decided that it should be possible to cut suitable lengths of Hazel to bend

over into a half hoop, or a bow shape, to make Cloche supports. I know commer-

cially Hazel is steamed to soften it and then dried under heat to ―Fix,‖ it into shape

when they use it to make things, but cutting it ―Green,‖ it is very flexible and will

hopefully dry naturally into a set shape. To do this the lengths were all cut into

similar 6 or 7 foot pieces and bound together with their tops and bottoms alternated

in the bundle. Then they were bent into a bow shape and held tight with a length of

stout nylon twine. Tying them with the alternate tops and bottoms together, the bun-

dle curved more evenly when bent and hopefully, in a few months when they are

untied, they will retain their hoop shape to make cloche supports. For spacing and

to make a framework that will better support the fleece, I am going to use the old

Buddleia canes that I saved from last year because they have gone a little too brit-

tle, as predicted, to use as normal canes now and they will cut to fit more easily

than bamboo.

The Hazel lengths that I cut from the tree were probably 2 seasons old, so I am

hoping that I have left enough mature wood to let the tree fruit next year. As it is

common practice to remove old wood every 3 years I have undoubtedly removed

some that I shouldn‘t! In fact it won‘t be long before I start picking nuts again this

year! People normally think of picking Hazel nuts in the Autumn when they have

turned brown and are ripe, but there are two problems with that; Firstly, as the outer

cases start to dry the nuts quickly fall to the ground and are lost in the

undergrowth and secondly, ripe Hazel nuts are irresistible to squirrels!

Random words: half-baked, sedative, sliding, gateaux, generous, intermittent, flummery, pocket,

chocolate, algebra

It was the final of ―Staffordshire‘s Got Pastry‖ and somehow, Wills had scraped through the heats and

found himself in the running to pocket the trophy. To say his journey to the final had been somewhat

rocky was an understatement. His cooking form had been intermittent; one day he had scraped through

the various rounds by the skin of his teeth, another day, he‘d produced a culinary masterpiece and

knocked his rivals for six.

When his pal Sid came to call, he was worried. Obviously the stress of the big occasion was getting to

him.

―Mate, you need to take a sedative or something! You‘re sliding into psychosis!‖

―I have to bake a chocolate gateau for the grand final, and it needs to be really special.‖ Wills told

him.

―How do you plan to do that?‖ his friend asked.

―Well first, I shall add a generous dash of rum…..‖

―Sounds like a good idea.‖ Sid said, approvingly.

―And then I plan to use algebra to calculate the optimum weight of the ingredients and the cooking

time.‖

―Excuse the pun,‖ commented Sid, ―but that seems like a half-baked idea to me. Mere flummery, I‘d

say!‖

Assignment: Where are we now?

I have three daughters. Their dad and I are keen cricket fans and were members of our local

club, Stone for many years. Every Saturday during the season, when the girls were small, we

would pack up a picnic and drive to whichever ground in North Staffs, or South Cheshire, was

the venue for the day‘s game. The girls would play happily on the boundary, and make friends

with other kids who were in the same situation. If the weather was inclement, we would sit in

the car and play ‗I spy‘ or some such game with them. I was under the impression that they en-

joyed these weekly jaunts. Clearly, I was labouring under a misapprehension!

One day, the fixture was further away than usual, so the drive there was longer, and the girls

fell asleep in the car en route. The two little ones must have been quite small, but Frances, our

eldest, who was I guess about seven at the time, woke up as we arrived at the ground, and

looked around, bleary-eyed.

―Where are we?‖ she enquired.

―We‘re at Checkley.‖ I replied.

―Oh no!‖ she continued with great scorn, ―Mother….‖(that was how all three girls addressed

me when I had displeased them…) ―you go to every cricket ground in the world!‖

Time to be thinking about the 2017 Poetry Collection ...

Ideas for theme and title welcomed.

Anyone who would like a chance to edit this collection please

let us know in workshop. Thanks.

Stafford LIVE Words &

Music Event

Gainsborough [art]works

Life of Riley Cafe

St. Patrick‘s Street,Stafford,ST16 2PL

Thursday, 2nd June 7pm – 9pm

Stafford launch of Peter Branson's

2016 poetry & song collection

‗Hawk Rising‘

with songs & music (open mic) from

well-known folk trio ‗Small Change‘

& singer/songwriter Helena Francesca

From garden chair, I sit, survey the scene,

Kissed by hot sun, fair skin begins to burn.

Though cream applied, it doesn‘t really mean

We‘re safe from harm, with no more left to learn.

Umbrella up! I lounge in pleasant shade,

Yet still feel hot and tingly on bare head.

A hat to wear but it has been mislaid,

Knots in hankie may have to do instead!

The easy way would be to stay indoors,

Let other folk sit out if that‘s their whim,

Provide sun cream to clog up all their pores,

On legs and arms let them quickly skim.

To sit and bake, high factor thickly sprayed,

But signs of age still cannot be delayed.

News from around the Stafford Folk Scene: writes Garry Copeland IS THERE a place for Beatles songs in folk clubs? The launch the other Thursday of a new club at the Junction pub at

Norbury Junction, near Gnosall, provided a platform for the long-running What‘s A Folk Song? debate. The argument wasn‘t (and is

unlikely to be) resolved, of course, but it was an entertaining diversion and a welcome break from the increasingly unpleasant battle of words surrounding the EU referendum.

If you‘d like to check out the Fab Four spat or join the fray, search for ‖junction folk‖ on this or the Staffordshire Folk Musicians site. Tin

hats recommended. SINGER Derek Wheeler who is looking for help with gigs he‘s plan-ning next month, has been in touch with more details.

Derek, a familiar figure on the Stafford scene and beyond both as a solo singer and with the Laners, will be performing in the Stafford area with the three-piece acappella group, THREE ROUNDS BLANK

Check out the band -- and their shirts! -- here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuW0Lw2S69o THE DEACONS will step in to run the monthly Fun Folk session at the British Legion club in Eastgate Street

on Friday while the usual host, Andy Clapham is away. The £2 entry fee includes refreshments and there will be a raffle in aid of the Salvation Army.

Next week's diary Unless otherwise stated, sessions begin at around 8pm, but don't be surprised if things don‘t warm up until

nearer 9pm. Monday The Elms, Church Road, Shareshill, 8.30pm. Christine Edwards hosts a singers' night which offers a warm wel-

come to all-comers. Contemporary, country and occasional traditional. Friendly landlord Kevin provides free sandwiches. Granville's, Granville Square, Stone, 8.30pm. Singer Paul Walker hosts a weekly anything goes acoustic open-

mic night at this popular restaurant. Tuesday

Spittal Brook, Lichfield Road, Stafford. The home of Stafford's longest-running session. Originally strictly tradi-tional, but nowadays pretty much anything goes. Good range of real ales. Wednesday

Rose and Crown, Eastgate Street, Stafford. Amicable session in a great town centre venue, hosted by the Spring Chickens. Can be noisy (it's a pub – what do you expect?), but there are few better ways to enjoy an

evening among friends. The Old Peculiar, The Green, Handsacre, Rugeley, WS15 4DP. Traditional session in the late and much la-mented Pete Wallis‘s local. Hosted by his old band Ragman‘s Trumpet.

Thursday The Roebuck, Hilderstone. A bit far out, but well worth the trip for both the music (courtesy of Ant and Andy,

Albert, Gary etc) and splendid free grub. Market Vaults, Stafford. Bluesman Pete Wearn's open-mic session at this popular town centre pub (just off Market Square) isn't strictly folk, but folkies are welcome. Banjo ace Dan Walsh cut his performing teeth here,

which should be recommendation enough. Brewood Acoustic Music Club, Brewood Cricket Club, Four Ashes Road, Brewood. Friendly open mic session. Full details here: brewoodacousticmusic.co.uk/whats-on-4

Friday British Legion Club, Eastgate Street, Stafford. Fun Folk with the Deacons (see above image).

Bradford Arms Folk Club, Ivetsey Bank, near Wheaton Aston, 8.30pm. Performers Night hosted by Colin Hough. Call 01952 618438 to book your spot. Coming soon

June 6. Pistol Pete Wearn, album launch, MET studio, Gatehouse Theatre, Eastgate Street, Stafford. http://www.pistolpetewearn.co.uk/

June 28. Jonathan Byrd and Pickup Cowboy, MET studio, Gatehouse Theatre, Eastgate Street, Stafford. http://www.fishrecords.co.uk/roster/jonathanbyrd.html

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