Dear Friends,

I cannot believe we are already sharing our fourth edition of the participation

newsletter. It is hard to believe that Spring is here with the cold winter we have

had and we hope you will enjoy what we have reserved for you.

It has been busy months for our team as we moved into new offices as part of

a renewed partnership agreement with Saint Paul University. We are grateful

for the continued support we have received from the university since our in-

ception. Furthermore, we would like to congratulate our graduates from the

Cree Regional Authority that have completed 160 hours of capacity building in

conflict resolution in December.

In this issue, we are featuring the involvement of women in conflict resolution.

This is long overdue. At CICR, 2/3 of our trainers, staff and participants are

women. Women are leading the field and we are pleased to honour the posi-

tive impact they are making.

We enjoy reading your comments and we invite you to keep us updated.

I wish you a great spring and warmer weather,

Brian Strom,

Executive Director

In this Issue:

New SPU Offices……………………..………..P. 2

Women in Conflict Resolution………....P. 3

Julie Lalonde: a woman in mediation..P. 4

TPN-3 Experience: February 2014…….P. 5

Upcoming Events……………………….…....P. 6

Issue No. 1 June 2013 Issue No. 4 March 2014

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A virtual tour of our new offices—Saint Paul University, Laframboise Building

Following CMO’s application,

Mayor Jim Watson proclaimed

October 18 as being conflict

resolution day in Ottawa.

CICR Administration Office—Room 262

CMO Office—Room 258

Executive Director’s Office - Room 264

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Women in Conflict Resolution

Differences between men and women as the result of socialization processes such as stereotyping Social psychologists remind us of the powerful social and psychological mechanisms that have shaped the place, role and characteristics of men and women in different societies through time. Discrimination, which originally meant the differentiation and separation based on specific features, is one of the ex-pressions of stereotyping. Stereotypes are information processing techniques which help us simplify and validate our understanding of the world. Based on the acknowledgment of the existence of stereotypes at every level of social life, the characteristics that are said specific to men or women in the field of negotiation must always be placed in context. Therefore, we will briefly summarize the differences in negotiation skills between men and women in situations of inter-personal conflicts, based on studies conducted in North-America. We then analyze how women can have a particularly important impact on peace if they are involved in more global peace processes.

Main differences in negotiation styles between men and women in interpersonal conflicts and conflict resolution It is often said that women and men have quite different communication, negotiation, and mediation styles. Of course, we must be prudent in our generalizations and always remember the impact socialization processes. Better listening, intuition and empathy are three basic communication skills where women are better than men. Also, women are often considered less assertive than men in discussions, who are mainly seen as more likely to make authoritative decisions. These gender differences translate to negotiation styles, which influence the attitude of the participants toward negotiation and their success rate. The first main difference relates to the motivation of the participants: men get their motivation from furthering their own interests, while the moti-vation of women focuses mainly on their relationships with the other participants. This gender difference results from the fact that men and women differ in their level of interpersonal orientation, which is ‘the degree to which individuals are interested in and responsive to the interpersonal as-pects of their relationships’ (Kray and Babcock, 2006). For example, this means that in salary bargaining, women would potentially achieve lower salary raises than men, but would make sure to keep a good image and good relationships with their co-workers and superiors.

Mediation and negotiation are considered two different practices, even if some skills are transferable. As a consequence some studies have analyzed the outcomes men and women have achieved through mediation. Interestingly, these are much more similar than through a negotiation process, due to the less distributive characteristic of mediation, and its focus on mutual respect of participants. Mediation being a more egalitarian or impar-tial process than negotiation, women have more opportunity to express and achieve their goals, even if these are less competitive than those of men. Of course, the combination of women mediators can be very powerful, if we consider their socially determined high level interpersonal orientation and the balanced procedure of mediation. Such mediations will be based on cooperative conflict management more than on competition, and will result in higher rates of agreement. Nevertheless, few studies have been carried out on this situation.

The impact of women participating in negotiation or mediation in larger peace processes In peace talks, be it through negotiation or mediation, the presence and input of women appears crucial. The role and power of women differs in every society, but we can venture to say that in most societies women have been primarily considered as caregivers. Therefore, their compromising character is recognized as a positive force in interpersonal or more global negotiation and mediation processes. Their collaborative and cooperative approaches can reduce the social cost of the competitive attitudes of men. Women also tend to focus more on long-term relationships which allow taking into account broader issues than those raised by men, who often have a strict bargaining style. Women’s sensitiveness to fairness and equality can also lead to more stable agreements. This is linked to the fact that women often have a broad definition of peace as more than the absence of armed violence. Therefore their presence at the bargaining table can create very practical strategies toward more economic, political, health and food security. Also, their concern about these diverse aspects of security allows women to overcome more easily the social, political or ethnic boundaries and obtain more comprehensive peace settlements.

Conclusion In conclusion, due to socialization processes, women have developed certain sets of skills that can be very useful in interpersonal negotiation or mediation processes, such as the focus on the relationships at stake and cooperation. At the international level, women should be more involved in peace processes, since they also bring a set of skills and knowledge that can offer more holistic and long-standing solutions to conflict. We hope for the equal participation of women and men in conflict resolution processes, and also that women can develop skills and knowledge not based on stereotypes and discrimination. The skills listed in this article are necessary to conflict resolution, but they should not be developed only by women.

References: Charkoudian, L., Wayne, E.K., ‘Fairness, Understanding, and Satisfaction: Impact of Mediator and Participant Race and Gender on Participant’s Perception of Mediation’, 2009, Conflict Resolution

Quarterly, vol. 28(1), pp. 23-52. Gwartney-Gibbs , P. A, Lach, D. H., ‘Gender and Workplace Dispute Resolution: A Conceptual and Theoretical Model’, 1994, Law & Society Review, Vol. 28, No. 2, pp. 265-296 Klein, R. S., ‘The Role of Women in Mediation and Conflict Resolution: Lessons for UN Security Council Resolution 1325’, 2011, http://works.bepress.com/roohia_klein/1 Kray, L. J., Babcock, L., ‘Gender in Negotiations: A Motivated Social Cognitive Analysis’, 2006, in Thompson, L., Negotiation theory and research, Psychology Press, New York, pp. 203-224. Hermann, La Free, Rack, West, ‘An Empirical Study of the Effects of Race and Gender on Small Claims Adjudication and Mediations’, in Alfini, Press, Sternlight and Stulberg, Mediation Theory and

Practice, 2006, LexisNexis, pp. 371-376. Potter, A., ‘We the Women Why conflict mediation is not just a job for men’, 2005, Centre for Humanitarian Dialogue, Geneva. Welle, B., Heilman, M. E., ‘Formal and informal discrimination against women at work – The role of gender stereotypes’, in Steiner, D., Gilliland S. W., Skarlicki, D., Research in social issues in

management: Managing social and ethical issues in organizations, 2005, Vol. 5, CT: Information Age Publishers, Westport.

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Julie Lalonde—a woman in mediation: her path and vision about the field

Julie manages the Office of conflict management à Environment Canada (EC) since 2006 and also

trains the TPN 1 and 4 offered by CICR. As part of this edition’s theme, ‘Women in conflict resolu-

tion’, we met with Julie in order to better understand her journey toward and her vision of the

profession of mediator. The question about the specific competences of women was always ap-

proached in a nuanced way by Julie. She reminded us that competences considered as linked to

women can always be developed by men too. If certain skills such as listening or consoling are

judged to belong to the realm of women’s competences, it is mainly due to the historical and so-

cial status of women as mothers. In Canada, the transformation of women from housewife to pro-

fessional worker has started with the baby-boomers, when women demonstrated they were able

to work outside the household.

Julie’s advices and experience are worth sharing, in order to advance the implication of women in the field of conflict

resolution.

CICR : Julie, could you give an overview of your career path? How did you come to work in the field of mediation?

Julie : In 1984, I was employed by the Center for international research and development (CIRD). In 1991, after the government cuts,

I decided to go back to university to finish my Bachelor degree in Sociology and Psychology, and get a Master’s degree in Social

Work. With my degree, I got to work at a Community Health Center as therapist at the reception and at the same time I was work-

ing as a consultant in an employee assistance program for Health Canada. From 1997 to 2000, I was the Director for the French pro-

gram at CICR and then became a consultant in the field of conflict resolution, where I was practicing mediation, conflict coaching,

group intervention and training. Since 2006, I am the Director of the office of conflict management at EC.

CICR : What skills did you develop during your professional experience which you still use as a mediator today?

Julie : At CIRD, I learned a lot about negotiation and mediation. We had to coordinate the meetings of the council of governors

which took place every two year in different regional offices (in Africa, Asia, Urugay,…). We went there one year in advance to set up

the meeting, and that required a lot of negotiation skills and tact, since negotiations are conducted differently depending on the

country in which we are. We always had to schedule a meeting with the counsellors at Foreign Affairs Canada in order to get infor-

mation on the country and prepare the trip. We were briefed on how to introduce ourselves, what we could do or not, what we

could say or not, and the local customs. It was really important to show respect for the local culture for three reasons: we had pre-

cise interests, we represented Canada, and they were hosting us. This required a high ability to adapt and I learned a lot about ne-

gotiation. For example, in certain countries, high level male managers could not talk about business with women, so we had to

coach one of our male colleagues to participate to meetings with my supervisor and me. Some meetings always started by asking

news about everyone’s family before starting talking about business. If we started negotiating too early, the meeting was directly

over. I developed patience and listening skills during these trips!

One of my lessons learned in mediation dates back to this period. One evening on a mission in a foreign country, two of my col-

leagues were assaulted while on their way back to their hotel room. They were not harmed but were very traumatised, and they

found their supervisor did not react with sufficient empathy. They were very upset. I talked to both persons and to the supervisor,

and they all agreed to meet together to discuss the situation. I led them in an office and then left them there. I did not stay. My les-

son learned is… never leave angry people alone in an office hoping they will solve their conflict by themselves. The risk is the conflict

will only escalate!!

During my Master’s degree, the topic of my thesis concerned the friendship relations between older women. I developed my listen-

ing skills: hearing, listening, watch, understand what people say and say not, be sensitive to what can be seen. This implies to find

the right question to ask and also find the right time to ask it.

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TPN-3 Experience—February 2014

Julie Lalonde—a woman in mediation: her path and vision about the field (cont’d)

CICR : So empathy is a common feature to therapy and mediation?

Julie : I am a very empathic person, I am very attentive to others, to the point I forget to take care of myself in the situation. It is very

important for a mediator to be empathic, but it is also fundamental to be able to say, ok, this is their problem, not mine. I t is indeed the

big difference between therapy and mediation: as a therapist, we give a lot of advice to clients. It is the mandate of the therapist and we

have a tendency to take the client’s problems on our shoulders. On the contrary, in mediation you help people find solutions to their situ-

ation but you do not do the work for them.

CICR : When you are mediating, what are the things you always keep in mind?

Julie : I always try to have a good contact with the people, especially a visual contact, because it is in the eyes and in the voice that we

can learn a lot about the people. Certain basic characteristics to be a good mediator are, according to me, the listening, the empathy,

the capacity to create a relationship based on trust, the presence, and the capacity to remain impartial and to use communication tools.

It is also important to be able to reframe conversations, to know what question to ask, to find the right time to ask them, and being able

to stay with the rhythm of the person while still keeping an eye on the process. The role of the mediator is to coach, support the reflec-

tion and help parties find their own solutions.

To say what we observe can also lead the parties in mediation to ‘aha moments’. Sometimes they have behaviors that do not belong to

the conflict that is being mediated, then I like asking the question ‘to whom does this belong?’. People can get very emotional in such

cases, and that allows us to realize that therapy might be better suited for their case, or that it could be used in parallel with the media-

tion process. I such cases, I redirect them toward the office of Employee Assistance Services, which deals with the personal situations

having an impact on employees’ work.

CICR : Do you have techniques to deal with all this pressure around mediation?

Julie : Because we deal with conflict all the time, it is important to know our threshold of listening and tolerance. We also have to know

what we need in order to recharge, to avoid reaching our threshold too quickly. We also have to reflect on what we need to be fully pre-

sent during mediation, and learn to know our emotional buttons.

Moreover, it is really important that people in this field discuss these issues with their partner. It could also be interesting to have a

meeting of mediators and partners, in order to explain our role and our daily life at the office, and all the administrative and emotional

preparation that is needed before mediation can even start. The partners could also weigh in about what they notice and what they

would need from us.

A perspective from some of the participants

“I work in a private company. The TPN-3 gave me a break and in hindsight, I had the time to watch how we work – how we address situations of conflict. It has allowed me to think and develop new strategies and options. I use my conflict resolution skills in my workplace because the conflict resolution offices are rare, we only have HR. The employees have a lot of power and the managers don’t have many tools to deal with issues, thus, the competen-cies in conflict resolution are used daily.”

“I have adhered for a long time to the philosophy of alternative dispute resolution being from the world of indus-trial relations. The program is good, but we would tell ourselves, when we are done, we can’t have an illusion that we are mediators: we only explored the surface of the subject, you don’t become a mediator, but you could be a co-mediator. Despite all the long hours of training: don’t think you are a mediator, we do not feel like a me-diator yet. Question: Who will tells us, ‘Ok now you are a mediator’, like the other fields of work where you have internships. Maybe CICR could work more on that aspect. ”

Upcoming Events

Editors Catherine Delisle joined the CICR team in the spring of 2010 and has completed 160 hours of

Third Party Neutral training. Before she started working with the Institute, she served as an

operations and marketing consultant for a start-up company in Quebec. Catherine holds a

bachelor in Commerce with a minor in Finance from the University of Ottawa.

Marie Boglari holds an M. A in Law from the Belgian Université Catholique de Louvain, and

just finished her Master degree in Conflict Studies from the Saint Paul University. Marie has

taken the 160 hours of Third Party Neutral training and she has been involved with CICR since

the summer of 2012 as a communication and research officer.

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Upcoming Events

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” John F. Kennedy

1.

CICR is a proud sponsor of these two conferences and we invite you to visit their websites to register.

2.