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MENS SANA IN CORPORE SANO ( Physically knackered, mentally deficient )

UTTERLY MISMANAGED BY:

HASH TRASH Motto: Truth is optional

MISMANAGEMENT COMMITTEE PHONE

Grand Master Bob “BoBo” Thomas 09 253 852 387

Joint-Master Vacant

RA Vacant

Hash Web Nerd Kerry “Sticky Fingers” Kerry

Hash Cash Fenton “Don't Call Me Shirley” Holland 09 505 4880

Hash Moosic Bart “Boring Fucker” Robertson 09 250 224 127

Hash Horn Vacant

Hash Sniff Ohn Tin “Gigolo Joe” Oo 09 540 7598

Hash Flash Aung Kyaw “Dr. No” Myint 09 205 1198

Hash Piss Midgie “Raza Gaha Hasha” Ye Aung 09 503 6637

Hash Piss’ Wench Thida “Cat Walker” Tin Lwin-Jones 09 250 152 424

Hasherdabberer Midgie “Raza Gaha Hasha” Ye Aung 09 503 6637

Trail Master Vacant

“Strictly Distribution to Members Only”

MEMBERS PARTICIPATE ENTIRELY AT THEIR OWN MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND ANY OTHER RISK.

YH3 meets at 14:45 every Saturday at main entrance to Yangon University on University Avenue, near Hledan Junction, and leaves for the run site at 15:00 prompt.

HASH FEES: Expat: 5000 Kyat Expat Horrors (Under 13): 2500 Kyat Nationals: 4000 Kyat National Horrors (Under 13): 2000 Kyat

RECEDING HARELINE:

Date: 28 January ‘17 Run No. 1511

Circle

RUN NO. DATE WHAT IS IT ABOUT? HARE / CO-HARE:

1511 28 Jan '17 An Epic, Three Years in the Making Insituasian

1512 4 Feb '17 Sri Lanka Independence Day Run Bushy 'n Brindley

1513 11 Feb '17 Newshound ReHashes Old Story Shock Oli Slow

1514 18 Feb '17 RGH's Birthday Bash Raza Gaha Hasha

1515 25 Feb '17 Hashing in the Key of G Who's Fucking Alex

1516 4 Mar '17 Eunochs Unite Run Scot No Balls

1517 11 Mar '17 Volunteer

1518 18 Mar '17 Hashy Nuptials Run Boring Fucker and Sleeps on the Knob

BRB FRB Run

YH3 HASH TRASH Run No. 1511 Date: 28

th January 2017 Page 2 of 8

All the lies fit to print. Members read at your own risk!!

ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON

Up to two Hares run for free

For each Hash, up to two Hares/Rabbits will be allowed to run/walk for free. This is meant

to encourage Hashers to volunteer to set Hashes and is recognition of the amount of work

involved.

Tales from the Trail

Hash Re-Run No. 1511 (A Run Three Years in the Making)

Hares: Insituasian, Weedwanker and Diarrhoea Rabbit: Cat Walker

Venue: cnr. Thiri Mingalar Lane 2, Baho Road, Insein Township

Runners: 38

Weather: Bone dry

Time/Distance: 1 h 11 min to gallop along 9½ km of trail (and False Trail) inclusive of a 7-

min Beer Stop

After the large attendances at the last couple of Hashes, the fact that “only” 38 turned

up for this one made it seem almost small and intimate. Quite why there was such a large

variation in the numbers is beyond the ken of the GM to explain but it turned out that the

Hash run had some serious competition in the shape of a sunset boat party where our very

own Sleeps on the Knob was DJing with others to generate “swelling beats from House

Music to Gypsy, Breaks to Hip Hop and Electro, for a nostalgic Yangon evening out.” Not

too sure what is so nostalgic about being pounded by techno music but it obviously appeals

to some (and it helps if you are popping those little smiley-faced pills). Those of a

different persuasion who like to dress up in kilts and wear bow ties opted to attend a

Burns Night celebration at the residence of the British Ambassador organised by the

British Chamber of Commerce. Hope they all had a good time because they missed out on a

good run. Then there were people like Fabian, who was running late (literally and was seen

running down University Avenue just after the convoy left the starting point) who

miraculously met up with another late arrival and managed to share a cab to the start point

in the true spirit of Hashing.

It had been more than three years since Insituasian last Hared a Hash and so she might

have felt a little rusty in the trail-laying department, which probably explains why she

thought that she needed a whole sub-committee to help her scatter paper on Saturday

morning although, judging by the quantity of paper that marked the start point, it was

surprising that she did not need a whole army!

Once the registration procedure had been completed, the Hare gave misinstructions about

this being an A to B Run and that there would be one Beer Stop and then told the pack to

go Check it out. The GM argued that a Check at the start was counterproductive since the

idea of Checks is that they are supposed to provide a mechanism for keeping the pack

together whereas starting a trail with a pack is a guaranteed way of splitting the pack





apart from the off. However, the Hare was adamant that the pack should find the trail by

itself.

Gigolo Joe, taking his duties as Hash Sniff seriously for once, was first into his stride and

he confidently set off up the incline to the north of Baho Road, following Thiri Mingalar

Lane 2 for about 200-m to the point where the road forked. The mark at the apex of the

fork was not exactly useful in determining whether to take the left- or right-hand fork

and so Gigolo Joe trusted his instinct and followed the smaller of the two roads, the one

to the right. However, after finding no further shreddie for over 50-m, Gigolo Joe and

the rest of the pack started to have their suspicions that maybe they would have had

better luck by taking the left-hand fork.

The pack dutifully trotted back to the last mark and then took the left hand fork but it

perhaps came as no real surprise to find that, after another 50-m, there were no marks

along that road either. By now the penny was beginning to ever so slowly drop and the

complete absence of the Hare began to make sense. The pack resigned itself to returning

to the start and thus spent the first 5-minutes and the first 750-m running a False Trail!

What a great way to start – NOT.

The Hare greeted the returning pack with a smile that would have done the Cheshire Cat

proud and pointed them westward along Baho Road. About 300-m later the first Check was

found but it had been long broken by the BRB types who had avoided the initial False Trail

with the connivance of the various Hare committee members and thus gained a bit of a

head start. The Check was at the corner of Thiri Mingalar Lane 1 and here the trail really

did turn north to follow said lane for about another 250-m until another Check was found.

Here the way ahead was blocked by a barrier due to some road surfacing works and this

was enough to entice the FRBs to Check the side road on their right. Paper was a little

sparse but eventually someone called On On and so the pack followed. The pack probably

missed a left turn soon afterwards and ended up performing a loop until they spotted

paper again, at which point it headed north for the nearby Thiri Mingalar Road.

At Thiri Mingalar Road the pack crossed diagonally and then entered into a bit of a rabbit

warren of small alleyways that criss-crossed a dense collection of small houses and shops

of varying (low) quality and levels of salubriousness before continuing northward again on a

small suburban road. A little while later there was a Check and here the GM struck lucky

and, alongside the newly svelte (down to a mere 100-kg!) and newly coiffed Rainbow Balls,

he took the option of going right and then, climbing uphill, successfully followed paper

around another bend until he reached the top of the hill. Here he turned right and soon

afterwards turned left and followed paper along a narrow, sandbagged alleyway lined with

wooden huts that turned out to be a deliberate False Trail, which was a bit of a shame

since this had promised to be the first bit of off-road stuff. By the time they got back to

the roadway again, the FRB types had still not caught up and so they proceeded by

themselves south-easterly along a concrete road until a T-junction was encountered.

Here they got to run downhill for a while and continued due east for about 150-m and then

veered north and, in the process, climbed up another hill (or perhaps just a different part





of the same one) along a tarmac road. At the apex of the hill there was a T-junction and a

Check but gong left seemed unlikely as it would end up with the trail going full circle and so

the GM, by now a solitary FRB, opted to head back downhill to his right. The GM led the

pack along another good road but soon found himself diverted to the left and so entered a

little compound. Soon afterwards he was scampering around some very pleasant territory

as he skirted some ponds and ran under the shade of the canopy.

The approximate route of Run 1511

[Scale: 1:20,000 or 5 cm 1 km]

However he eventually ended up running full circle when he followed paper around a few

huts on a little hillside but could find no alternative to closing the loop. Then he spotted





Hare Insituasian hiding a little further back and the game was up – this was another

deliberate False Trail, which was a shame because it was the prettiest part of the run by

far.

After returning to the road, Hare Weedwanker directed the GM, Gigolo Joe and Rainbow

Balls to continue east where they encountered the first bit of shiggy for the day

(although it was stretching the definition of shiggy – let’s just say it wasn’t pure concrete

or tarmac) and so, by and by, they climbed another rise (since when did the ’Goon ever

have so many hills!) and came to a gate in a fence that marked the outer boundary of the

City Golf Club.

Paper inside the golf course was relatively sparse to start but the GM knew where he was

and so confidently navigated his way past the driving range and around the corner so as to

exit the club at the main entrance on Thiri Mingalar Road. Here, as the GM was hoping, the

Beer Truck was parked with the ever-smiling Raza Gaha Hasha in attendance, camera in

hand to record the arriving Hashers for posterity.

Seven minutes later, it was time to say bye bye to the ever smiling Raza Gaha Hasha

before muscles seized up entirely and the pack duly set off along Thiri Mingalar Road. The

older (but not necessarily the wiser) Hashers who had been pounding trail longer than

most, had a pretty canny idea where the next part of the trail was going to go and they

were not to be disappointed. Iron Maiden led the way in a determined piece of FRB running

and soon put clear water between himself and everyone else.

Now, under normal circumstances, the GM might have been a bit worried to be trailing in

the footsteps of Iron Maiden because Iron Maiden is not best known for following the

trail set by the Hares. However, in this instance, the GM had run around the area enough

times to have a reasonable canny idea about where he was and, to top it all, he was actually

On Paper – so On On, even if Iron Maiden was in front!

The restart saw the pack run half way around the Golden Gardens walled housing estate

keeping the high walls securing the mega-mansions inside to their left and the hovels

originally constructed to house those who built the walls and mega-mansions to their right.

The trail then struck south where, about 300-m later there was a Check. The GM kept

going spotted more paper and called On On. Shortly thereafter he reached Mingun Kyaung

Road and turned left to follow it all the way until the sealed surface gave way to dirt.

Continuing eastward for the most part, he then negotiated a mixture of dirt roads and

foot-tracks through undeveloped, fallow land and then regained a sealed road which

brought him to a point close to Thiri Mingalar Road where he found a Check. There was a

pleasant road sloping downward to his right or he could head straight towards the main

road. So he turned right but, having only found two blobs of paper, he faced reality and

reluctantly give up his quest to find a third. By the time he returned to the Check, he was

no longer an FRB, far from it. So he followed the pack but, instead of running along the

main road as he was expecting them to have to do, they took a smaller road parallel to it

for maybe 350-m and then found a Check at a crossroads with multiple possibilities.





The pack appeared to be not having too much success in finding the onward trail when he

arrived and that could well be because there were not too many people actually Checking to

find out where it went! Ultimately an onward trail was found leading along one of the roads

that forked right and the pack trundled down a quiet concrete roadway heading almost

westerly. There were a few minor wiggles in the westerly progress and a few slow-downs

when paper disappeared for worryingly long periods but the pack maintained its stately

procession for around a kilometre until the next Check.

At the T-junction, the GM prevaricated for a while, started to go left, changed his mind

and went right and got lucky. By now he had to admit that he was unfamiliar territory and

there were no landmarks that he recognised but there was shreddie to follow and so that

is what he did. Although he did not realise it at the time, he was probably less than a

kilometre from the end-point when he struck north between a couple of ponds and then

turned to the west once more. This part of Insein Township is riddled with small streets

that criss-cross the area like the lattice of a drunken spider’s web and so he was

somewhat fortunate that the Hares had marked the trail reasonably clearly. About five

turns later he was galloping along, minding his own business and contemplating his navel

after he had again managed to end up as a lonely FRB when Raza Gaha Hasha dashed out

of a garden and the GM suddenly realised that he was at the house of the Hares. It was all

over and time for a beer.

‘Twas another good trail and showed that it is entirely possible to hold an “in-town” run

that does not involve traffic and main roads.

The Circle

The hosts were exceedingly generous as always and insisted in cooking up “snacks” which

turned out to be enough food to feed a small army. When food is around, it is impossible to

hold a Circle and so, when the Hares decided to serve food against the wishes of the GM,

there was nothing he could do but wait until the Hashers had had their fill before calling

them together to observe their religious obligations. It was getting ominously late in the

day by the time that the Circle got started but a short-ish ceremony ensured it all

finished before darkness descended.

First to be called into the Circle were, of course, the Hares. Insituasian, who was

originally slated to be the Hare after an absence of over three years (last Hared on

13 Dec 2013), stepped in together with her other half, Weedwanker, and their Mr. &

Mrs. Fixits, Diarrhoea and Cat Walker, as co-Hares.

There were a couple of Virgins to greet: Raphaël was French and claimed to be

looking for a job while Alex (aka Htet Wai Yan) was a 16½ year old (don’t forget the

half!) local student.

There were three Returnees worth mentioning: Adam Sabo added 50% to his run

total after last attending on 20 Feb 2016; Iron Maiden had not been on a Hash since

17 Dec and Sleeping Beauty was almost as bad (24 Dec).





It was Chinese New Year and time to say Gong Xi Fa Cai to all the Chinamen. Rainbow

Balls said he was born in Hong Kong; Raphaël arrived here from China; Insituasian was

Malay Chinese; Rose claimed to be of Chinese extraction and there was an anonymous

American who stepped forward with some lame excuse that the GM can no longer

remember, Camp bei all.

Certain parents, like Richard Tracey and War War Tun, were noted to be at the

finish point and enjoying a beer but were not in the company of their children with

whom they had started the Hash. Such forgetfulness was worthy of a Down Down.

The Virgin, Alex. was called back into the Circle for completing the whole trail in his

jeans without breaking into a sweat.

Comatose charged little Julia for eating dog shit that she thought was chocolate

(that’s what happens when your parents abandon you On Trail).

Ain’t Ze Bush made a lame charge against the GM for not forcing Iron Maiden to

drink out of his new shoes, which seemed a bit pointless since he was in teetotal mode

for some unknown reason. And if one GM drinks –then an ex-GM who charges him can

also drink!

Comatose charged Rainbow Balls for not counting his Down Downs in his self-

enforced “No Drinking in January” rule. So he had a Down Down that didn’t count.

Ain’t Ze Bush charged Raza Gaha Hasha for a lack of variety in the drink supplies,

which sounded a bit harsh to the GM. Allegedly Ain’t Ze Bush was concerned for

Diarrhoea who asked for a rum and coke but was told that there was no rum and that

there was no coke. The GM is sure he will live!

The On On On

The Hares had made arrangements for the pack to reconvene at Pier 9 on Taw Win Road,

not far from Victoria Hospital. The “arrangements” turned out to be very loose but the

staff eventually succeeded in finding enough space and enough tables to seat around 15 or

so Hashers. This rather newish establishment was a bit more up-market that the usual

Hash venue but the pack were nevertheless keen to sample the so-called Cajun food, which

was probably Myanmar cuisine by another name.

Future Regional Hash Events:

Koh Samui H3 20th Birthday & AGPU Koh Samui, Thailand 18 Feb 2017 Nha Trang H3 4th Anniversary Nha Trang, Vietnam 24 to 26 Mar 2017 Thai Nash Hash Pattaya, Thailand 2 to 4 Jun 2017 EuroHash 2017 Vienna, Austria 7 to 9 Jul 2017 Sydney H3 50th Anniversary Sydney, Australia 19 to 25 Sep 2017 Mekong Indochina Hash XIX Vientiane, Laos 3 to 5 Nov 2017 Interhash 2018 Nadi, Fiji 25 to 27 May 2018

Any little candid secrets you’d like to share with the members?

Let OnSec know, he’s very discreet.





The 1511th Run in Pictures © Raza Gaha Hasha

Me? A BRB? Some mistake surely!

The starting point – so far so good

Hash mailing list If you would like to be placed on the Hash mailing

list for occasional updates of Hash and various other social activities in Yangon, please send an e-mail to:

[email protected]

NEGST FULL MOON HASH

Thursday, 23rd February 2017

by Bouncing Balls & Sperminator

Venue: Onyx

Time: 6:45 PM for a 7:00 PM start

Cost: K 15,000

The first False Trail of the day! On On to the Beer Stop

Just the usual half a water for me please.

We’re only here for the Beer food

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