Navigating the Blended Family R enée has three homes that she counts as “family.” And they are all her family—people who have responsibility for her parenting and care. But each home has variations. Sometimes Renée and her four-year-old brother are with their dad, who now is remarried and raising two additional young children with his new wife. Sometimes she is with her mom, who married a man with two children (who also have visitations with their own mom). And, after school, Renee goes to her grandma’s until 5:30. Renée is seven, and at each home she manages a separate set of household rules and requirements, some variation in the food served, some adaptation to who is at the supper table tonight. Renée also feels a deep sense of loyalty to her little brother and believes she must help him understand the differences that each household presents, even though she herself can be overwhelmed. Fifty-eight percent of the children we serve here at Jumping Mouse are members of blended families. At very young ages, they are expected to navigate these variations, which are sometimes extreme and often conflicting. Although adults may have support, such as friends or their own parents, with whom they can talk about the challenges of blending families, our children may not have the language to narrate their own experiences. The language of their confusion, uncertainties, relief, and loyalties will be their behaviors. And while the adults are negotiating the practical aspects of blending family members, they may not notice that their children are behaving differently in an effort to “speak out” about changes. Our children’s “compasses” are spinning in an effort to find true north again. For these children, play therapy often includes, first and foremost, discovering his or her own perspective. From this viewpoint, the therapist sets about helping the child to organize his or her own understanding of who is who, what is predictable and what isn’t. For instance, after-school time with the grandparents may be predictable, but the frequency with which stepsiblings come and go may be terribly confusing. And seeing Dad so upset at Mom, and trying to understand why this is so, absolutely challenges a child’s loyalty and love for both parents. Therapy involves unlocking the meaning behind the behaviors that result. When Joey first came into therapy, caretakers in all his environments were at a loss as to his behaviors, which had gradually shifted in the previous six months. While playing in the sand tray, Joey was disorganized and jumpy. The therapist consistently offered thoughts about what the selected toy animals in the tray might be feeling and experiencing. Slowly, Joey took over some of the animals’ continues on page 2 jumping mouse Transforming lives through expressive mental health therapy CHILDREN’S CENTER 2016 Annual Report MISSION STATEMENT Jumping Mouse Children’s Center transforms children’s lives by providing expressive mental health therapy for as long as necessary. We nurture each child’s healthy development and supportive relationships at home and in the community. By Dott Kelly, Clinical Director In therapy, eight-year-old Brenda places herself (small child figure in pink) between two sets of couples, surrounded by danger in the form of dragons. She is expressing her concern around navigating two families. This image then helps the therapist discuss Brenda’s feelings with her parents.
Transcript
Navigating the Blended Family
Renée has three homes that she counts as “family.” And they are all her family—people who have responsibility
for her parenting and care. But each home has variations. Sometimes Renée and her four-year-old brother are with their dad, who now is remarried and raising two additional young children with his new wife. Sometimes she is with her mom, who married a man with two children (who also have visitations with their own mom). And, after school, Renee goes to her grandma’s until 5:30.
Renée is seven, and at each home she manages a separate set of household rules and requirements, some variation in the food served, some adaptation to who is at the supper table tonight. Renée also feels a deep sense of loyalty to her little brother and believes she must help him understand the differences that each household presents, even though she herself can be overwhelmed.
Fifty-eight percent of the children we serve here at Jumping Mouse are members of blended families. At very young ages, they are expected to navigate these variations, which are sometimes extreme and often conflicting. Although adults may have support, such as friends or their own parents, with whom they can talk about the challenges of blending families, our children may not have the language to narrate their own experiences. The language of their confusion, uncertainties, relief, and loyalties will be their behaviors. And while the adults are negotiating the practical aspects of blending family members, they may not notice that their children are behaving differently in an effort to “speak out” about changes. Our children’s “compasses” are spinning in an effort to find true north again.
For these children, play therapy often includes, first and foremost, discovering his or her own perspective. From this viewpoint, the therapist sets about helping the child to organize his or her own understanding of who is who, what is predictable and what isn’t. For instance, after-school time with the grandparents may be predictable, but the frequency with which stepsiblings come and go may be terribly confusing. And seeing Dad so upset at Mom, and trying to understand why this is so, absolutely challenges a child’s loyalty and love for both parents. Therapy involves unlocking the meaning behind the behaviors that result.
When Joey first came into therapy, caretakers in all his environments were at a loss as to his behaviors, which had gradually shifted in the previous six months. While playing in the sand tray, Joey was disorganized and jumpy. The therapist consistently offered thoughts about what the selected toy animals in the tray might be feeling and experiencing. Slowly, Joey took over some of the animals’
continues on page 2
jumping mouseTransforming lives through expressive mental health therapy
CHILDREN’S CENTER 2016 Annual Report
MISSION STATEMENTJumping Mouse Children’s Center transforms children’s lives by providing expressive mental health therapy for as long as necessary. We nurture each child’s healthy development and supportive relationships at home and in the community.
By Dott Kelly, Clinical Director
In therapy, eight-year-old Brenda places herself (small child figure in pink) between two sets of couples, surrounded by danger in the form of dragons. She is expressing her concern around navigating two families. This image then helps the therapist discuss Brenda’s feelings with her parents.
2
Jumping Mouse Children’s Center
1809 Sheridan StreetPort Townsend, WA 98368(360) 379-5109
Jumping Mouse is inspired by a Native American legend of a small creature who dreams of a new way. He journeys into the world beyond the familiar, with compassion and awareness. He grows, discovers his strengths, and transforms into Eagle. Like the myth, our children’s center is about offering the tools that will assist each child in meeting the challenges of daily life.
voices, letting them tell his story of confusion. The therapist continued to respond, sometimes offering some order for the animals and “their” worries. In this way, the therapist was able to translate Joey’s own worries, such as worry about being left at a home and never seeing his other parent again, into thoughts that could be understood and, more often than not, addressed.
Once some of the angles of the child’s inner world are explored, the therapist can support the parents in establishing kid-friendly ways to maintain communication and weekly schedules. Both at school and in Joey’s two homes, the adults began to consistently prepare Joey for the week, and then for each day. Giving Joey his own board calendar offered him a way to master his movement, which then gave him a way to begin using language with his mom. He could make statements like “I’m scared of him [my nine-year-old stepbrother] when he races at me with his swords. I want him to stop, and nobody says anything.”
Joey’s concerns were taken seriously, reinforcing his motivation to use words rather than disruptive behaviors as communication. Joey packed an important backpack, which contained only his special things and which only he managed. Helping him find these small, consistent, and often-used areas under his own control allowed Joey to climb back into his own driver’s seat. Feeling understood increased Joey’s capacity to calm himself and to think. And it increased his trust in the adults in his world, assuring him that he would be heard and that the world would slow down to listen to his communications of needs and successes.
Navigating the Blended Family continued from page 1
books on blended families Jumping Mouse has a library of parenting books to loan out to our parents and caregivers. Here are a few our therapists recommend for navigating the blended family:
A Family Is a Family Is a FamilyBy Sara O’LearyA book for young children, looking at the many types of families
and what they all have in common.
Helping Children Cope with Separation and LossBy Claudia Jewett JarrettA book for caregivers who want to help a child cope with her
sadness, anxiety, and anger as a result of loss or separation.
Becoming Family: How to Build a Stepfamily That Really Works
By Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. LauerRobert and Jeanette Lauer give practical advice on how to deal
with the top challenges in stepfamily life.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Shared Custody WorkBy Isolina RicciThis book covers the legal, financial, and emotional realities
of creating two happy and stable homes for children in the aftermath of a divorce.
Room for RabbitBy Roni Schotter and Syd MooreA book for young children about little Kara’s experience of living
in two families and finding space for herself and her stuffed animal.
Do you want to add books to our parenting library? Purchase books for Jumping Mouse from our Amazon wish list. The link to our wish list is on our website at jumpingmouse.org/donate-ways-to-give
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You can help keep Jumping Mouse a welcoming place for kids and families. Join our new Jumping Mouse garden club to assist with upkeep of the garden beds at Jumping Mouse. Volunteers needed some Saturdays for weeding and planting. Contact Development Director Jenny Manza at 379-5109 or [email protected] if you would like to volunteer.
Join the Jumping Mouse Garden Club!
Thank you to all of our donors who took our 2016 donor survey. We love to hear from you!
• 97% agree that “Jumping Mouse has a significant impact on our community.”
• 100% agree that “my donations are being put to good use by Jumping Mouse.”
• 92% agree that “Jumping Mouse effectively informs me about the impact of my gift.”
Do you have feedback you would like to share with us? Contact Jenny Manza, development director, at [email protected] or 379-5109 ext. 122.
Our Donor Survey
ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are significant childhood traumas which can result in actual changes in brain development. These changes can affect a child’s emotional, social, and physical health, as well as their long-term well-being. ACEs include abuse, neglect, domestic violence, homelessness, loss, and other traumas. Forty-three percent of children at Jumping Mouse in 2016 had experienced six or more traumas in their young lives.
However, stable, nurturing relationships with caring adults can prevent and mitigate the affects of childhood trauma. Jumping Mouse meets this need with our holistic, interconnected model. Therapy is open-ended so that each child can heal at their own pace. Paired with support for caregivers and advocacy at school and beyond, our program helps families interrupt unhealthy patterns; increase their confidence, skills, and self-esteem; and raise happy, healthy children.
ACEs at Jumping Mouse
“As a parent, I never felt judged. I felt very supported in the whole process. The program really helped me learn how to communicate with
my child where she is at. It was awesome to see the growth that she had over the months.”
~ parent
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How YOU transform livesJUMPING MOUSE 2016 ANNUAL REPORT
only 21% of our servicesare covered through health insurance payments. Thanks to support from people like you, children can come to Jumping Mouse for as long as they need to heal.
125children
received therapy services. Although more than 80% of our kids come from low-income homes, they receive therapy for as long as they need, without any financial barriers. Therapy is open-ended, so each child can heal at their own pace.
150parents and caregivers
received support, education, and advocacy services. As their child finds their own unique voice in therapy, the parent gains understanding and attunement to their child’s needs.
more than
2,750hours
were donated by intern therapists, allowing Jumping Mouse to see 30% more kids and families. Since our founding, Jumping Mouse has trained more than 45
therapists in our unique model.
95%of parents and caregiversagreed that they “understand their child’s point of view,” compared to 57% before Jumping Mouse.
80% agreed that their child seemed “content or happy,” compared to 16% before Jumping Mouse.
91% “have relationships with people who support me,” compared to 68% before Jumping Mouse.
in our post-program survey
50educatorsincluding Head Start teachers in Clallam and Jefferson counties, Jefferson County Library staff, and Grant Street teachers, received training and/or support from Jumping Mouse therapists in meeting the needs of children who have experienced trauma.
“I feel lucky to have had Jumping Mouse in this community.”
~ parent
ANNUAL REPORT 2016
in 2016
5ANNUAL REPORT 2016
Expenses
Facility$35,722
Staffing$482,379
General expenses$37,234
Support and Revenue
2016 Operating result, including depreciation: $(41,759)
Total Expenses: $569,981
Total Support and Revenue: $528,222
Contributions$169,087
In-kind services$50,593
Events and other income
$20,155
Grants$194,640
Professional fees$14,646
“My son and I have gained so much from this program, and we are much happier and
healthier in this present day. Thank you for all that you did for us.”
~ parent
2016 Financial Report
2016 FOUNDATION, CORPORATE, AND GOVERNMENT GRANTS
AnonymousCostco WholesaleJefferson County 1/10th of 1% Sales Tax FundMay and Stanley Smith Charitable TrustMedina FoundationNW Children’s FundOneFamily FoundationUnited Good Neighbors of Jefferson County
Earned income$93,747
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AbracadabraAl and Rodie AbramsBarbara and Carl AllenAmazon SmilePhil Andrus and Emmy Lou SteinAnonymous (15)Janeen ArmstrongMartha AshenfelterJohn and Valerie BackusCathy Beatty and Charles O’SheaKris Becker and Jeff Youde*Paul Becker and Lisa CrosbyJohn Bodger and Selden McKeeDiane and David BommerPeter Bonyun and Beth LorberAimee Boulanger and Will PatricLou Boyle and George EdwardsCarol Brannan and Richard
Shaneyfelt*Valerie BrewsterLynda Bryan and Jack CampbellArt and Kate BurkeShannon BurnsBeth CahapeJean and Tom CamfieldJanel CarlsonTodd and Holley CarlsonSuzy and Tom CarrollAdam and Candy Carter*Barbro CarterMarie and Tom Cawrse*Nathaniel CaylorJeff Chapman and Juelanne
Dalzell*John ChrismanDavid Chuljian, DDSAnika and Josh Colvin*Community Foundation for
Southwest WashingtonLisa and Mark Condran*Lucy Congdon Hanson and Charlie
HansonPeter Cook and Sue StamHelen CopelanBonnie CorraTony Costa and Rebecca RottsolkGrace CotaBruce Cowan and Deborah
PedersenLeslie and Janet CoxChris and Thomas Crubaugh*Britt and Curtis DanielsonDonna and Jim Daubenberger
Beau and Sarah DavisDoug Davis and Diana HughesCorine de BoerAnne DeanMary DeanSarah Syfan DeanErica Delmaam and Ron DionneJeanne and Vic DirksenMalcolm DornDraper FriendsTiffany and Dave Drewry*Heather Dudley-Nolette and Scott
NoletteDavid Dunn and Renee NeugentKaren Eaton and Elizabeth ApplingCatherine EdwardsSue and Ed EdwardsDave and Geri Eekhoff*Gay and Gary EisenbergerKeven ElliffJim Emery and Molly ParkerAnn Emineth and Karl FischEntelco FoundationJoan and Bill EwbankOwen and Sarah FairbankDunia Faulx*Gila Fein*Henry and Nadine FeldmanBeroz Ferrell and Sieghard
RanacherDavid and Terri FessFidelity Charitable Gift FundFinnriver CideryTina Flores-McCleeseJanette and Robert ForceFountain ChiropracticDale Fountain*Anita Fraser and Jim NorrisErik and Marnie FredericksonKaty and Len FriedelMari FriendLloyd and Roberta FrissellMacy GalbreathKimberly GallagherAnna GardnerDave and Jan GaringGE FoundationGlenda and Peter GeerlofsJody and Richard GlaubmanGrace Lutheran ChurchGrace Lutheran Shoe AngelsSarah Grossman
Margo GrovesDebra GruberElisa and Joseph HalcombPhilip Hallin*Deborah Hammond*Morgan HannaJohn Hansen and Martha WorthleyChris Hanson and Linda Mattos*Carolyn Kay HarperCheryl Garnett HarrisRick HarrisKathy and Tony Harwood*Henry and Elizabeth HazenMaxine HealyHerb and Kathe Cook Donor
Advised Fund of JCCF†
Amy HiattLela HiltonRose HorvathAmy HowardJanet Huck*Bill Humiston and Susan Jacob-
HumistonCoe and Janet Hutchison*Morris HutchisonCarter and Mark HuthCraig Isenberg and Sarah McNultyJanice and Benjamin Isenberg
Philanthopic FundNancy IsraelMarty and Patti IversClaus and Teresa Janssen*Jefferson County Community
FoundationCassandra and Shaun Johnson*Dave Johnson and Libby ShonseyJayne Johnson O’Neil and Patrick
O’NeilRuss Johnson and Andree SiuAnn Jones and Steve RamseyPatricia and Paul KaaldMeg KaneIan KeithDott Kelly and John Reed*Ken and Diana Wood Charitable
FundKenneth and Kristin KieselErik and Jen KingfisherRick Kirkwood and Beverly Schaaf*Crystie Kisler*Kitsap BankBruce and Diana KlockKitty Knapp*
Pam and Keith KolacyColette Kostelec and Richard TalbotKristin Manwaring InsuranceDoug and Jane KurataElaine LachlanLarry LaingPhilippa and Nik LanceScott Landis and Kathleen MitchellJon LangdonJay LawrenceJudy and Lee LeaderCarrie LennoxBarry and Ellen LerichCarol LightJanet and Maarten LigtenbergCarol Lindcroft and Oscar LindJim and Jeni LittleDavid and Dixie LlewellinDoris LoeschenDominica Lord-Wood*Lucky Seven FoundationPaulette and Terry LyleChris LynnesMail PlusJenny and Todd ManzaTerri and Tony Manza*Bob and Sue MarettPaul and Kathy MarshallKate and Marc MartinHannah MarxBonnie MasiJoe Mattern and Katie Shonsey-
Mattern*Kristina MayerCindy and Ken McBrideJim and Noreen McCarronJeanne McCrea and Randy WelleMargaret McNultyMaureen McNultyWillene Jaqua McRae and Eric
McRaeMerck Partnership for GivingMetro BagelsCarol Meyer*Kathie MeyerMicrosoft Giving CampaignCarol Anne ModenaBob Molise*Mimi MolotskyKathleen MontalbanoBrigid Mosher*Sarah Muirhead
continues on page 7
Thank you to our 2016 donors, in-kind supporters, and volunteers*Members of Jan’s Club, our monthly giving program
†Jefferson County Community Foundation
ANNUAL REPORT 2016
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Earll and Rena Murman*Kathleen G. Murphy
MeagherLorraine NewmanNext Level AthleticsNorthwest Event RentalsJohn and Lynn Nowak*Robin NyeSusan O’BrienNicole O’HaraKelley and Steve OliverOregon Jewish Community
FoundationCynthia OstermanChristine OtaShirley OtisKaren PageLibby PalmerPane d’AmoreJohn PaulettiPeninsula Floors and
FurnishingsLianne Perron-Kossow and
Greg K. KossowMichelle PodestoPort Townsend Chiropractic
CenterPort Townsend Food Co-op
Port Townsend Friends Meeting (Quaker)
Port Townsend High School InterAct Club
Port Townsend High School National Honor Society
Port Townsend Rotary ClubPort Townsend Shipwrights
Co-opSusan and Tony PortoJim Prince and Mardee
StadshaugGeorge RandelsAnn and Patrick Raymond*Libby and Nick ReidRenah Blair Rietzke
Family and Community Foundation
Julie and Steve RendleJessica RenfroLynn Rideout*Michelle RingSteve and Theresa RoeByron RotPhil Rowe and Megan SmithBrad RuddlesdinSafeway Port TownsendMark Saran
Ann ScarboroDenese SchauerAnne and Dick SchneiderMary SchoenfelderKate and Ned SchumannSeattle FoundationCatherine SeiffertRick and Mary Sepler*Jennifer SeylerForest ShomerEd and Molly ShonseyBob and Faith SlaterKay and Michael SmallwoodMaggie SmithPatricia Smith*Alex and Elena SpearAllison Spiceland*St. Anthony ParishSt. Mary Star of the Sea
ParishCarlyn StarkBonnie and Scott StenehjemJosh and Keely StranahanDon and Pat StrombergSunrise CoffeeHoward and Terri TeasBill TennentThe Hair Studio
The Mallory Family Revocable Trust
The ReCycleryMarquita ThompsonJohn and Rose TomlinJim and Judy ToughJim and Shirley TrimboTrinity United Methodist
ChurchTrolinAtkins Donor Advised
Fund of JCCF†
Unity Church of Port Townsend
Uptown Dental ClinicUrquia Law, PLLCMary Ann VerneuilMolly VieiraDon and Charlene Vollmer*Gale WallisCarolyn Watts*Connie WelchDD WigleyAnne and Stan Willard*Jennifer and Scott WilsonLlory WilsonWindermere Port TownsendDavid and Jeanette
Woodruff
Linda Yakush*Jim and Judith YoudeDebbie and Rick ZajicekAndy and Claire ZanerJoyce and Vince Zodiaco
ANNUAL REPORT 2016
Donors, In-Kind Supporters and Volunteers continued from page 6
Recognitions
In honor of R. B. Christiansen and Norman Ellis, Sr.
Anonymous
In memory of Claire DalzellMargaret Alfoni and Jackson HowKaren CooperLiz Dalzell
In honor of Barbara Ellis-SugaiDonna Ellis-Arola
In honor of Kathy GibsonDee Dee and Jim Norman
In memory of William HowardHoward Family FundPatricia and Paul Kaald
In honor of Dott KellyBarb Putnam
In honor of Kitty KnappChuck and Luan Borgenson
In honor of Lisa Madelle-BottomleyLynn Rideout
In honor of Pearl McRaeWillene Jaqua McRae and Eric McRae
In memory of Phoebe NicholasDominica Lord-Wood
In honor of Mildred Plevin
Marty and Patti Ivers
In memory of Nora PorterJean and Tom Camfield
In honor of Jean ScarboroAnn Scarboro
In honor of Llory WilsonKathryn Hunt
In honor of Kathy YoudeBrian Kay and Dana Weir
Hearts in Bloom 2016 Sponsors
Brent Davis Construction, Inc.Carlson ChiropracticDavid Chuljian, DDSCircle & Square Auto CareDiscovery Physical TherapyDog TownsendFountain Chiropractic
Jan and Dave Garing, Windermere Port Townsend
Gooding O’Hara and MackeyJefferson HealthcareKristin Manwaring InsuranceMarine Surveys & AssessmentsPane d’AmorePeninsula Floors and Furnishing
Port Townsend Food Co-opSport TownsendToolshed SoundlabWallyworks Enterprises, Ltd.Writers’ Workshoppe and Imprint
Books
This list is complete as of December 31, 2016. Please let us know if your name was misspelled or mistakenly omitted. Contact Jenny Manza, development director, at [email protected].
Jumping Mouse Children’s Center is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and all contributions are tax
deductible to the full extent of the law. Donations are accepted directly to Jumping Mouse.
Tax ID# 94-3096216
Jumping Mouse Children’s Center is a member agency of United Good Neighbors.
jumping mouseTransforming lives through expressive mental health theapy
CHILDREN’S CENTER
Once again, Jumping Mouse is participating in Seattle Foundation’s BIG online giving day, coming on May 10! Mark your calendar to GiveBIG to Jumping Mouse kids! Find out more at www.givebigseattle.org.
