12 Juno

BREASTFEEDINGLanguage and the breastfeeding debate

The language we currently use to talk aboutbreastfeeding is entrenched, with guilt, grief andresentment lurking beneath the surface like jagged, hull-tearing rocks. These raw emotions make it incredibly hardto sail a clear, helpful, kind journey through the debate. Butit is so important to get it right. Why? Because guilt, griefand resentment aren’t words we want to use to encapsulateour early experiences of motherhood and parenting.Currently, though, many mothers find they are the wordsthat spring most readily to mind when thinking about theirbaby’s first weeks – and this is what we can begin tochange, by altering the way we talk about breastfeeding.

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Breast is best”. Youprobably believe it. You may have said it yourself. What youmight not realise is that by using this phrase you areundermining breastfeeding support.

“Breast is best” is glib. It sets a high standard, but it doesn’thelp anybody reach it in any practical sense. And if we setbreastfeeding as the gold standard, formula becomes thenorm, the default. Diane Wiessinger said it best of all, in hergroundbreaking piece ‘Watch Your Language’:

When we (and the artificial milk manufacturers) say thatbreastfeeding is the best possible way to feed babiesbecause it provides their ideal food, perfectly balanced foroptimal infant nutrition, the logical response is, “So what?”Our own experience tells us that optimal is not necessary.Normal is fine, and implied in this language is the absolutenormalcy – and thus safety and adequacy – of artificialfeeding. The truth is, breastfeeding is nothing more thannormal. Artificial feeding, which is neither the same norsuperior, is therefore deficient, incomplete, and inferior.Those are difficult words, but they have an appropriateplace in our vocabulary.

Unfortunately, the statement that so often follows “Breast isbest” is “but formula isn’t poison”. And of course it’s notpoison. But how many women actively want to give formulato their babies as opposed to breast-milk? And if they don’twant to feed their babies formula, why do they?

Most mothers want to breastfeed. And, in the UK,approximately eight in ten women begin by doing just that.But fewer than half are breastfeeding exclusively by the timetheir baby is a week old. That number has dropped to twoin ten at six weeks, seven in a hundred at four months, andless than one in a hundred at six months. Most women stopbreastfeeding in the first six weeks because they didn’treceive the right information or support – and, crucially, saythey would have carried on breastfeeding if they had beengiven it.

let’s ditch “Breast is best”. Let’sinstead say “Every breastfeedmakes a difference”

However much breastfeeding is promoted, we tend toexpect mothers to give their babies formula. So, becausewe expect breastfeeding not to work, we don’t put thesupport for it in place. We talk about breastfeeding in alanguage that makes it sound difficult and use the bottle as

JJaannee WWooooddlleeyy suggests wewatch our words

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Juno 13

shorthand for ‘baby’, from signs on baby-feeding rooms tobaby-congratulations cards to European Parliamentadvertising campaigns. Then there’s the formula advertisingthat talks about moving on from breastfeeding, theDepartment of Health-sanctioned pamphlets that areproduced by formula manufacturers, and the grandparentswho had their own babies at the time of some of the lowestbreastfeeding rates in history. Crown that with the mediaportraying breastfeeding as something that is only done bysmug, self-indulgent women, should be frowned upon inpublic and generally argued about, and is it any wondermost women stop breastfeeding before they’re ready?

So why do women stop breastfeeding before they want to?Most cite difficulties that can be addressed, given the rightinformation and support. But knowing they could havecontinued to breastfeed had they only known x, y or z cansometimes be too much to bear, and the other phrase thatso often crops up in the breastfeeding debate appears:“You’re making me feel guilty”.

And that’s a conversation stopper. Who wants to makeanybody else feel guilty? But what if we DON’T talk aboutbreastfeeding, about the things that can jeopardise it in theearly days, about the myths, and about the risks of notbreastfeeding? Shall we keep the system we have now, theone where women breastfeed “if they must” as an additionalextra, a “nice to have if you can do it”? If most women aregoing to end up using formula anyway, does it really matterif we don’t fund any support? Don’t spend much timetraining health professionals? Don’t talk about it responsiblyin the media? Don’t protect women who breastfeed publiclyfrom narrow-minded fools who think their own fleetingdiscomfort at seeing somebody doing something they’vebeen conditioned to think is peculiar is the most importantthing? Given that 80% of women start to breastfeed, wecan be assured that it matters a great deal that we get thisright.

So let’s ditch “Breast is best”. Let’s instead say “Everybreastfeed makes a difference” – a slogan already used inthe NHS, though not as widely known. It values women’sexperience, enables them to feel proud of whateverbreastfeeding they’ve done and, crucially, expects morefrom the maternity service and wider society.

We can’t fix breastfeeding experiences for women whosechildren have moved beyond that stage, but we can changethings for future generations of women. We can decide totalk kindly, sensitively and knowledgeably about howimportant it is to support women who want to breastfeed –for as long as they want – whatever our own infant-feedingexperience has been. Because then, and only then, do westand any chance of making guilt, grief and resentment lessa part of early motherhood for the women who are yet tohave their babies.

Jane Woodley lives in Middlesex with her husband Nickand two sons Fraser, aged 7, and James, aged 5. Shefounded Acorn Pack in 2010, working in partnership withthe London Borough of Hillingdon and the NHS.

www.acornpack.com

Breastfeeding started as a way to feed and nourish mybaby, but evolved into a parenting style that went on toprovide so much more. I have two boys, now aged 5 and12. When they were younger I would watch them role-play,proudly nursing their soft toys. I noticed that they and theirfriends discarded the pre-packaged accessories that camewith dolls – these items were not part of our daily life so theyinstinctively did not need to role-play with them. This got methinking – why do dolls automatically come with bottles anddummies as accessories?

I searched, but could not find the right breastfeeding-friendlyrole-play toy. This inspired me and fired my imagination andI designed and developed a set to fill the gap. Breastfeedingis not always seen as the norm: you rarely see babies beingbreastfed when out and about, and some mums feeluncomfortable about breastfeeding in public. I ignored thefew negative comments I received, as I knew I was doingthe right thing for my boys. I benefited hugely from attendinga La Leche League breastfeeding support group, where Imade wonderful friends. At those groups you will see manyhappy, relaxed breastfeeding mums.

If children can role-play breastfeeding, it helps themunderstand it to be a perfectly natural way to feed a baby. Itcan open up discussions and help educate the nextgeneration about what has sadly become an emotivesubject. Ignorance can be damaging: if we don’t allow ourlittle ones to experience breastfeeding as a natural thing,how will they ever learn? If children do not see breastfeedingimagery on a regular basis, or see a family memberbreastfeeding, they need another medium to learn by. I hopethat this way of playing, learning and having fun will allow apositive breastfeeding message to spread further. >

Thepower ofplay

Pip Wheelwright describes herself as a “work at homemum”. She lives in Kent with husband Tony and boysHarry and Alfie and runs Boobie Buddies.

www.boobiebuddiesbfdolls.co.uk

PPiipp WWhheeeellwwrriigghhtt believesrole-play can help

14 Juno

> Skin-to-skin contact means thatyour baby is naked, not wrapped ina blanket, and placed on yournaked skin (usually your chest ortummy).

Skin-to-skin contact immediately afterbirth promotes the release of the love-and-nurturing hormone oxytocin, aswell as prolactin and beta-endorphins,which stimulate and reinforcebreastfeeding. It can help start you offon the best possible track of yourbreastfeeding journey.

Michel Odent, father of the modernnatural birth movement, follows a

similar line of thought: “[The first hourand after] may determine, in part, howchildren relate to their mothers, whichin turn could affect how they willapproach other people and the worldaround. This critical period after birthmay well influence a person’s capacityfor loving, and for attachment ingeneral.”1

After a Caesarean birth, skin-to-skincontact is just as beneficial. “Evenafter a long and difficult childbirth, awoman will cuddle and gaze at herbaby and engage in loving explorationif she is protected and supported. Thisbehaviour is ‘programmed’ geneticallyto ensure a continuum after deliverythat has encouraged the survival ofour species.”2

Sarah Buckley, Australian doctor,mother of four and the author ofGentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, alsobelieves that when labour has beendifficult or traumatic, or separation hastaken place, skin to skin andbreastfeeding can still stimulate therelease of the right hormonal cocktail.If for whatever reason you did missthat first chance, you may bereassured, as “skin to skin in contactin a bath [can] re-enact the time afterthe birth, allowing the baby to use theamazing primitive reflexes, which areonly present in the early weeks. Tocrawl up to the mother’s body, find thenipple and self latch.”3

Sadly, as a birth doula, I havewitnessed that the reality in manyhospitals is that skin-to-skin contact, ifit does happen, is rushed. It is mucheasier and quicker to teach or show amum manually how to latch on herbaby, then tick the box and finishwriting the medical notes. But is thiscommon approach really empoweringthe mother and giving her confidencethat she and her baby cansuccessfully breastfeed?

Lennart Righard’s wonderful DVDDelivery Self Attachment showsbeautifully the first journey of a babyborn without labour drugs; he isplaced on his mum’s chest right afterdelivery and makes it all the way tothe breast on his own.4 It is trulypuzzling yet amazing to watch such afragile and small human being able tovisually find the areola, smell thebreast, crawl unassisted, root, suckand then triumphantly latch on.

Indira Lopez-Bassols is mum toChiara, aged 14, Paulo, aged 11,and Ilan, aged 4. She is a faithful LaLeche League leader, a passionatebirth doula and a devoted Iyengaryoga teacher.

www.indirayoga.com

RReeffeerreenncceess1 Michel Odent, Birth Reborn: WhatChildbirth Should Be (Souvenir PressLtd, 1994). 2 Mary Kroeger & Linda J. Smith,Impact of Birthing Practices onBreastfeeding (Jones & Bartlett, 2004).3 Sarah Buckley, Gentle Birth, GentleMothering: A Doctor’s Guide toNatural Childbirth and Gentle EarlyParenting Choices (Celestial Arts,2009).4 Lennart Righard, Delivery SelfAttachment (DVD, 1995).

skin-to-skin contactpromotes the releaseof the love andnurturing hormoneoxytocin

Skin toskin

In contrast, babies who are takenaway for a few minutes, bathed,wrapped and then given back to theirmothers will sometimes experiencemore difficulty in spontaneouslymaking the unassisted journey to thebreast and latching on. An example ofthis is also depicted on Righard’sDVD, and the findings should shedlight on the importance of immediateand undisturbed mother-baby skin-to-skin contact.

The ideal is for undisturbed andunlimited skin-to-skin contact tobecome more of a reality in hospitalsettings and not just part of a birthplan never fulfilled. This is because itgives mother and baby a unique andhighly fertile window of opportunity tobond, attach and establish the optimalinitiation of breastfeeding.

The immediate and best place for yournewborn to be is on your warm nakedchest, as close as possible to therhythm of your familiar heartbeat. �

IInnddiirraa LLooppeezz--BBaassssoollssrecommends skin-to-skin contact after birthPho

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