Bored Doc was bored.

Bored Doc set up another Asylum.

You know the drill--clicky clicky and see who's who and what's what!

First uncontrollable is "Nummy" Theodore Harrison, a 4/8/9/7/4 Knowledge Sim. He hails from Dicreasy's Victorian Legacy.

Next, we have Australia "Oz" Warner, from ladylarkrune's Yakko's World Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge. Oz is a 3/8/9/7/1 Knowledge Sim.

Then there's Arvicanthis Tegeneria, a 9/10/6/2/8 Pleasure shrew from GintasticNecat's The Science of a Legacy.

Notice a pattern here? Yup, all three of these guys have been hooked up with my SimSelf at some point. I don't really want to torture them, but the theme was too good to resist.

For the ladies, we have Anne Legacy, a 5/8/9/3/1 Romance Sim from Dicreasy's Victorian Legacy. She's Theo's aunt or something like that, if I remember correctly, so I've flagged the two of them as family to avoid any squickiness.

Here's femme fatale Aria Bohemian, a 6/5/9/5/1 Romance Sim from DocGirlP's Bohemian Legacy.

Next is Penelope Goodytwoshoes, a 7/3/8/6/2 Knowledge Sim from professorbutters's Squeaky Clean Legacy.

The last "lucky" lady is Miranda Legacina, the 10/8/3/3/3 Popularity Sim from Orikes's Pseudo Legacy.

Her hair and clothes didn't download. I did the best I could.

And who's the playable in this madhouse?

Has to be my man Larch! The 10/10/9/3/1 Larch Vetinari was the Gen 2 heir of the Uglacy half of the Vetinari Dualegacy (available on DrSupremeNerd's SimPage). Now, Larch is a Family Sim. I cannot conceive of him being anything OTHER than a Family Sim. Family Sims as playables in an Asylum are technically not allowed, due to their child- or pet-oriented LTWs, but Larch is a Family Sim to his core. Instead, I re-rolled his LTW until I got something career-related.

So, to get everyone out of here, he needs to top the Education career.

Oz: "Hug?"Penelope: "NO."

I left all my hacks in place, aside from noeatcrap and Smarter Beds, but the random hugging amuses me, so I don't have the hack that stops that anyway.

Miranda: "Your tailaciousness is totally awesomesauce!"Arvi: "I know! It's so shrew!"Miranda: "How cooltastic! Someone else who likes to get playicious with vocabularitude!"Larch: "...I thought you liked me. Why would you do this to me?"I got bored. Have fun!

'Randa sets the land speed record for autonomous Flirting in an Asylum, particularly considering that I don't have ACR. All I did was give everyone a mild gender preference in the appropriate direction.

Larch seems to approve of the fact that she's staking a claim.

While Larch goes to take care of something, Anne's left on her own. Oz finally manages to convince Penelope to play with him, and Aria sucks Theo in.

And the sweet sweet sight of eight Sims gaining Cooking skill. I've set the seasons to Fall/Summer/Fall/Summer, and when I opened the house, it was the last day of Fall. Works for me, since I'll need the Fall Skilling Bonus more with the higher skill points anyway.

There were quite a few instances of simultaneous behavior. Theo and Arvi make with the finger-guns while Larch seems to know that eventually, you'll be looking at him.

Aria's randomly cranky. Amusingly, she will NOT prove to be the crankiest Sim in the Asylum.

Penelope, Arvi, Theo, Aria, and Anne do not seem to want to talk Kissing with Oz. Miranda doesn't really care, and I think Larch is just amused that for a change, the annoyed people aren't annoyed at him.

Aria and Anne do the simul-crankies.

And again. They're both gorgeous, let's be honest here, and they still manage to look hot even when making crankyface.

The Victorians manage to synch up here.

Penelope: "This guy next to me? I kinda don't like him a whole lot."Theo: "The recipe for barbecue pork is fascinating. Do we have a grill?"Miranda: "Some of these people are weirderiffic, huh?"Larch: "...Yes. I agree with that statement wholeheartedly."

Penelope and Aria get in rhythm.

You can see Arvi's tail here. At some point, it disappears. I keep trying to get it back, and have been unsuccessful so far.

Miranda: "So who wants to get friendacious first?"Oz: "NO."Penelope: "Can we make friends while skilling?"Theo: "I have often found making friends to be a most worthwhile experience."Larch: "I'll make friends with you, but I can't promise that I'll try to save you if you set yourself on fire."Miranda: "You are so kidderlicious, Number One!"

Aria and Anne go back to their crankiness.

Larch: "You just like to make me miserable, don't you?"Would you believe me if I said no?Larch: "No."

Penelope's the first to avail herself of the kitchen, and chooses a lunchmeat sandwich, which does not require the application of heat. Go Penelope!

Penelope: "What job are you looking for again?"Larch: "Education."Penelope: "I've heard horror stories about having to job-hunt for two weeks before finding the job you need."Larch: "Nope, it's the last one listed on the very first day."

And that, folks, is why Larch is MADE OF AWESOME.

This is sort of a trial thing. Sims will autonomously talk to birds, and therefore gain Charisma on their own, leaving Mechanical as the only thing they can't skill. Instead of leaving Larch with $100 in the bank, I left him with $510, figuring that stocking the cage counted as setting the Asylum up, not running it. That was enough to stock the cage and feed the bird.

His name is Pequod. I had thought of a good name, but couldn't remember it when I had Larch stock the cage, but I thought it started with P. Later, I remembered that my train of thought had been that the last time I was in Portland, Maine, I passed a bar called the Asylum, which is sort of a weird name for a sports bar. So I was thinking 'Portland' with the 'p' thing, but Portland is a dumb name for a bird, but Portland is on Casco Bay, and Casco is a better name for a bird.

Anyway, his name is Pequod now.

Penelope becomes the first victim of the Dance Sphere.

Yes, Aria is being crabby again.

Arvi christens the stove with a grilled cheese sandwich that he fails to burn. Yay Arvi!

The Welcome Wagon consists of Simon, Pen, and Morty Goth. Larch goes in with a Brag, which I personally wouldn't recommend, but it works for him.

Pen writes the Penguino Legacy. Simon's a cousin from the Vetinari Dualegacy. Morty Goth likes to flamey-thought-balloon my SimSelf.

Aria thinks Anne is hot, but wishes Oz would have chosen a different place to burp.

Water balloon fights are seriously the best way to make friends. You can't go wrong, even for a grouch like Larch. There are no negative interactions! And since he'll need 13 friends to top his career, making friends with these three is an absolute must.

Yes, even Morty. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, MORTIMER GOTH. Seducing my POOR INNOCENT SIMSELF on Pirate Island.

Simon's cute even with a giant lime green goiter.

Anne makes a move on Arvi, stealing Miranda's dibs on everyone's favorite shrew.

Oz takes a spin on the Dance Sphere.

I love his little elf-ears.

Penelope gets off on the wrong foot with Aria as well. She's not too good at making friends here.

Oz: "Hats? Who needs hats? Hats are lamer than the kid in the jersey!"Arvi: "HATS ARE SHREW. You, sir, are NOT SHREW."Anne: *stalk*

Theo becomes the Dance Sphere's next casualty.

Miranda: "You're pretty nummylicious, Regalness."Theo: "Please don't touch me."

Miranda: "Rottensauce."

Poor Miranda is having no luck at all. Anne snagged Arvi, and Theo does not seem to be interested.

Aria: "Oz is Penelope and she won't let me in the tub!"Oz: "...What?"

Er, yeah, no point here.

*slaps away grabbyhands*He's MINE! You no can has.

Anne: "Backrub, my sweet shrew?"Arvi: "If you insist."Anne: "So what's your feeling on becoming a vampire?"Arvi: "Uh... Vampires aren't really shrew."Anne: "Well, I guess I'll live. Shame."

Larch: "Woooo, that Penelope's one smoking-hot chick, right? I mean, whoooo-eeee! No wonder my nephew wanted a shot at that!"Morty: "Meh, I only like women who cheat on me with the neighborhood man-ho and get abducted."Larch: "But Penelope's hot though, you agree?"Morty: "Yeah, I guess."

Larch: "Make a move on her and I'll break every bone in your body."

Arvi makes the mistake of playing Punch You Punch Me with Anne. Silly shrew!

Penelope decides to pick a fight with Pen. There was no provocation here. Penelope just wanted to be crabby.

Penelope then argues with Simon. This is perhaps a worse decision than going after Pen, because Simon got the Vetinari Nice Point Deficiency.

See? Hot crankyface.

After Penelope finishes going off on Simon, he and Pen leave.

Miranda's the next one to bite the dust.

'Randa's one of three auto-primpers in the house. She, Arvi, and Larch all have high Neat and high Outgoing, which means that they'll all whip out a mirror before they'll hit the showers.

All of the Sandman art recolors I got off of GOS. This painting appears to be from the A Game of You story arc.

Larch does it less because I can control him, but Arvi and Miranda are pretty dedicated to the tiny mirror.

Um... This is just here to prove that Theo's tattooed skintone is still working, and not for any other reason. I promise.

Sort of like how this shot of Theo and Oz pillow-fighting in their jammies is just to show how well they're getting along.

They're, like, besties! Don't they look happy?

Happy Theo! Happy Oz!

Aria: "Get out of the bathroom!"Arvi: "Can you pull these shelves out of me first?"

Theo: "Penelope is preventing me from using the bathtub!"Aria: "...What?"

It's Day 2, and Arvi and Anne are already getting a crush on each other.

Arvi: "Anne's hot. I just wanted you to know that, Oz. She's way shrew."Oz: "Whatever. I needed a little Red Hands action."

Theo: "I find you particularly attractive."Penelope: "Likewise."

Another burgeoning romance?

I love it when Larch walks around randomly being grouchy. I've missed seeing this.

Aria makes a move on Oz. I don't think he minds too much.

Arvi and Anne are pretty tight by now. They stalk each other constantly, even unto Motive Distress.

Anne: "Penelope is in the tub!"Arvi: "...What?"

Larch needs 10 Logic to top Education, so I may as well start now. He's used to playing with cheaters, so this isn't surprising for him.

However, in typical "Larch" fashion, he gets caught far more often than he succeeds cheating his opponent, and rarely catches the person cheating him. This happens in every neighborhood I've ever had him in, and I have no idea why it's so consistent.

Oz is the first one to get fit on the Dance Sphere. Hooray for Oz!

Miranda: "What's the word, Down Under?"

Oz: "I believe the word is NO."

Pop Sims usually do fairly well in Asylums. Miranda, not so much.

Aria snags the piano, and Theo dances badly. It's OK, Theo. You're still Nummy.

Anne and Arvi fit in some smoochies between pillow fights and back rubs.

Anne: "Do you feel green and smiley?"Arvi: "I feel tired."Anne: "Red Hands?"Arvi: "Okay!"

Theo attempts to congratulate Anne on her relationship with Arvi. Anne does not want any part of that.

Miranda becomes the first potty accident of the Asylum. Poor kid. She's not having any fun in the madhouse. Go figure!

Miranda: "I smell bad and Penelope's taking a bath!"Oz: "...What?"

Oz heads to bed, and Penelope stalks him. I don't know how her cheering over the Li'l Death and Barnabas poster didn't wake him up.

Anne: "Look! A New Someone to Meet!"Miranda: "WHERE?"

Neat freak Arvi cleans the kitchen. And I know he's having fun!

Aria makes sure Oz greets the day with a Dirty Joke.

Oz returns the favor, with a shake of his skull-clad booty.

Aria: "Hmmm... Would anyone notice if Miranda just never woke up? I mean, her throat's just right there."

Penelope makes another random grouchyface. She is easily the most ill-tempered Sim in the Asylum.

Oz: "I'd avoid the chick in the red dress. I know she's a smoking hottie, but she just might choke you to death."

Penelope picks a fight with Aria. Seriously, with Oz, Aria, and Larch in the Asylum, I never would have picked PENELOPE as the most cranky and aggressive.

Arvi: "Who's the hottest shrew in the room? I am!"Anne: "Yes. We will have a water balloon fight now."Arvi: "Okeydoke!"

Penelope's really starting to lose it. I mean, I know she's Gaius's great-granddaughter, but you'd think the Fail would have been bred out by now.

Aaaaand another crankyface.

Penelope: "I am annoyed and we will kiss now."Oz: "I'm afraid of what you might do if I refuse. Not that it's a hardship to get a smooch from a hot girl."

And we have another couple!

A smelly Anne gets fit.

Oz discovers the wonders of Pequod, although in the "playing" sense and not in the "skill Charisma" sense.

Aria's starting to crack. Three days in, and she's got no WooHoo and no boyfriend.

Larch: "I made mac and cheese! I rule!"

Larch: "Gee, I hope nothing bad happens while I'm at work."

Aria may be closest, but this is Theo's fault. Apparently, he wanted his pancakes extra-crispy.

Fortunately, I was able to get Larch back inside and the fire department called. And he even made his carpool on time. How? LARCH IS AWESOME. That is how.

Miranda: "This place is total rottensauce. Nobody likes me and there was some major fireaciousness and I have severe hungertude."

Miranda: "But at least I'm still foxtacular!"

Theo tries again, and manages to successfully not-burn an omelet.

And then he earns points by talking to Pequod! Yay! If you have a bird, the uncontrollables WILL autonomously skill Charisma!

Larch: "I have two Mechanical."I know.Larch: "You know what happened when you tried to fix appliances with two Mechanical."I know.Larch: "And yet, you're making me do this."Well, you're awesome.Oz: "I SMELL BAD."

Larch: "Well, whaddaya know? I AM awesome!"

Larch = awesome. The math is so simple.

Arvi: "Yay! You're getting better and I want to clap enthusiastically and give you lots of money!"Aria: "I'd settle for some automotive WooHoo."Arvi: "Cheating on your girlfriend is sooooo unshrew."

Penelope: "I learned to play from my father, you know. Jack Buccaneer."Larch: "A buccaneer, you say? I suppose there was cheating involved."

Penelope: "Yes, as a matter of fact, there was. So don't think you're getting away with this."Larch: "I never do."

Things seem to be going smoothly. Larch is managing about a promotion a day, and keeping ahead of the skills and friends required to keep getting them. There haven't been any fights in the house, the uncontrollables are starting to pair off, and nothing catastrophic's happening!

This is so much nicer than having to Max 7 Skills! Topping a career in an Asylum is CAKE! Everyone'll be out of here in no time!

...I may have spoken too soon...

Yup, one bad Chance Card, and Larch gets fired. For Chance Cards, I'm rolling my die--1/2, choice A, 3/4, choice B, 5/6, Ignore. For once, I WANT my die to consistently roll sixes, and I get bupkus.

How will Larch deal with his setback? Go to Part 2 to find out! It'll be up by the time you read these words!