Kidscape Bullying Intervention Training for Young People

What is Today All About?

Gives you tools to feel better about yourself

What is today all about?

What is today all about?

Help you identify and manage negative feelings

Help you to feel safer

Learn bullying defence skillsLearn to be assertive

Deal with difficult situations better

Help you to improve your confidence

BIT

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B.I.T. Group Agreement

Respect people’s privacy – no gossiping

Listen to each other- no interruptions

To only talk about things you feel comfortable talking about

Work as a team Don’t laugh or

tease people for their contributions

Confidentiality

Join in and have fun!

Timekeeping

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Mobile phones off/silent

Office Bullying Scenarios

Definition of Bullying

Children on Bullying-Children’s Rights Director for England: February 2008)

Deliberate: intention to cause

hurt, harm or distress

Bullying is normally repeated

There is an imbalance of power whereby the

target cannot effectively defend

themselves

“Bullying is a mixture of physical

violence and verbal hurting”

“Bullying is if it hurts someone who can’t

defend themselves & doesn’t deserve what

happens to them”

“Joking, teasing, arguing, play fighting and name calling are not always

bullying – but they can be if they affect someone

badly”

Young people’s comments

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Types & Methods of Bullying

Bullying is not always easy to identify. A young person may encounter bullying attacks that are:

Physical: Pushing, kicking, hitting,

pinching and other forms of violence or

threats.

Verbal: Name-calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, persistent

teasing

Emotional: Excluding, tormenting, ridicule,

humiliation, setting people up

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Cyberbullying: nasty texts, ‘sexting’, sending

embarrassing photos, email, BBM and web-based attacks

Types & Methods of Bullying

Racist: Racial taunts, graffiti, gestures

Sexual: Unwanted physical contact or abusive comments.

Homophobic: Any hostile or offensive action against lesbians, gay males or bisexuals or those perceived to be

lesbian, gay or bisexual.

Abuse of the vulnerable: Physical disabilities, autism, special educational needs.  Young people who are

carers; children looked after, teenage parents, young offenders and death or separation in the family.

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People get bullied because....

• Passive body language• Lack of eye contact• Lack of confidence• Lack of social skills• Seen as a target• They don’t stand up to

the bullies• Seen as different in some

way• No reason at all!

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People bully others because....

• It’s fun / a laugh / a thrill!• To get rid of feelings of

aggression due to other problems

• To feel more powerful• Learned behaviour• Showing off/status• Group pressure/gangs• Protect themselves from

being bullied

Impact of Persistent Bullying

Depression Self harm Truancy Feeling alone

Low self-esteem

Poor academic

achievement

Threatened/ Attempted

suicide

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Young People Bullying Scenarios

COMMUNICATION AND BODY LANGUAGE

Body Language

What is Body Language?

• Non-verbal communication

• Your facial expression, the position of your head, how you stand, hold yourself, what you do with your hands, how you dress etc – all non verbal messages about you and how you feel about yourself!

• Humans used facial expressions and their bodies to communicate before language was used

Why is Body Language Important?

• Communication is 55% body language, 38% tone of voice, only 7% words

• 93% communication non-verbal!

• Gives message about your mood, feelings, attitude & thoughts

• 7 seconds for people to make assumptions about you based on your body language

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Body Language Signs

Passive Aggressive Assertive

Eyes

Facial Expressions

Gestures

Body Posture

Voice

Quiet, low, hesitant, apologetic, unsure, silent. Would rather not be heard or apologises for everything including things which are not your fault.

Loud, fast, strong, shouting , often vulgar or uses foul language, often doesn’t give the other person a chance to speak.

Even paced, medium tone and volume, lots of “I” statements e.g. “I feel hurt when you do that”, not “you are an idiot” (blaming), leaves pauses for other person to respond.

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Eye Contact Exercise

Passivelylooking nervous, eyes

constantly moving

MessageYou’re alright, I’m not! Aggressively

head forward, staring

MessageI’m alright, you’re not!

Assertivelycalm, distantly interested,

focussed

MessageI’m alright, you’re alright!

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KIDSCAPE TOOLS

Saying No!

If someone is asking you to do something which you don’t want to agree to...

You have the right to say No!Be kind, but firm!

“No, I can’t.” “No, I don’t want to do that now.”

“No, I can’t lend it to you.”

“No, I don’t want to leave right now.

You go.”

“No thanks, I don’t like that idea”

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Broken Record…

This technique allows young people to practice the same phrase over & over again, like a broken record.

‘Broken record’ can be used if you are not being listened to or for saying ‘No’.

“Give me your money”“No it is my money!”

“Give me your money”“No it is my money!”

“Give me your money”“No it is my money!”

After a few attempts, the bully will get bored and

move on…

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Fogging

If we respond to insults with more insults, it build’s

upFogging

swallows up insults like a grey

fog…

Fogging offers an alternative to

distress or violence

When others make nasty

remarks, don’t argue or become

upset…

Turn yourself into fog, a bubble or imagine a protective shield

If the comments are true, just respond “That’s right”

If the comments are not true, just respond “It’s possible”

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Creative Responses When a bully makes a demand it is difficult to know what to say ‘Creative Responses’ distract and can confuse the bully

“You’re so fat”…“Thanks for sharing!”

“We’ll be waiting for you by the school gates....”“So we have a date then!”

“Ginger!”… “Blonde!”

“Give us your trainers”… “Sure, but I’ve just stepped in dog poop.”

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“Give us your money”… “Sure, I’ll get it off my older cousin, he has it.”

Mobile Rant1. If you feel really angry and out of control, go somewhere

where you can be alone (TIMEOUT) and record your rant on your mobile phone

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2. Shout and scream as much as you want

3. Say everything you want and feel into your mobile phone

4. After, complete the 5/8 breathing for 3 minutes.

5. Much later (perhaps at home), when you are calm and alone, listen to your recorded rant

6. Write out everything you said.

7. Screw the piece of paper up and throw it away

8. Delete the rant on your phone.

Making Movies

When you find yourself in a difficult situation and you notice that you are beginning to feel anxious or angry use this....

1. Imagine there is a camera just behind you or to one side, recording everything as it is happening and you are watching everything through the lens of the camera, not through your own eyes.

2. Pretend you are filming a movie of the situation and notice everything you can about the movie.

3. Notice what is happening to you in the movie. 4. Pay attention to how you look, your body language, your gestures, what you

are saying, your tone of voice and your feelings in the movie.

• This exercise should help you to feel distant from a difficult situation and will help you to stay calm. Practise this as often as you can, and soon it will be easy to do.

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4 / 5 Breathing

•Let your mind begin to focus on your breathing•Place your hands on your belly•Imagine your belly is a balloon gently inflating when you breathe in and deflating when you breathe out•Begin to create a rhythm, breathe in through your nose to a count of 1,2,3,4, pause then slowly release your breath through your nose to a count of 1,2,3,4,5.

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