KIT January 2000, Vol XII #1 New 1-16-00

7/31/2019 KIT January 2000, Vol XII #1 New 1-16-00

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The KIT Newsletter, an Activity of the KIT Information Service, a

Project of The Peregrine Foundation

P.O. Box 460141 San Francisco, CA 94146-0141 telephone: (415)821-2090 FAX (415) 282-2369 http://www.perefound.org

KIT Staff U.S.: Ramn Sender, Charles Lamar, Vincent Lagano, DavidOstrom KIT e-mail: [email protected]

EuroKIT: Linda Lord Jackson, Joy Johnson MacDonald, Carol BeelsBeck, Elizabeth Bohlken-Zumpe, Benedict Cavanna

The KIT Newsletter is an open forum for fact and opinion. It encourages the

expression of all views, both from within and from outside the Bruderhof.

The opinions expressed in the letters that we publish are those of thecorrespondents and do not necessarily reflect those of KIT editors or staff.

Yearly subscription rates (11 issues): $25 USA; $30 Canada; $35 Internationalmailed f/ USA; 20 mailed f/ EuroKIT to UK & Europe

K e e p I n T o u c hBetween the flu and family visiting over the holidays, plus a new job andredoing the main control room of the Good Ship KIT, your faithful editorhas been running very late. Many thanks to Charlie Lamar for picking upthe pieces! We wish a VERY HAPPY Linoleum er Millennium to all ourfaithful readers. Quoting from a recent letter that someday we may receivepermission to print in full: "For pure counseling, nothing could have

helped more than KIT. So here is my donation for Keeping In Touch (justdon't let my subscription run out!). I want to Thank You All who havewritten and shared your lives, memories and opinion these past ten years.And another big "Thank You" to the editorial staff for all the work thatgoes into making each issue interesting and informative. I would like toinclude this letter in a future KIT. May there be Peace on Earth and in eachof our hearts."

It's always heartwarming to hear from someone new about how much thenewsletter has helped them. There also is a private listserve known as the

Hummer, which "Outies" who have e-mail access can apply to join, andthe public newsgroup alt.support.bruderhof where occasionally we actuallyare addressed by Bruderhof leadership types. So don't be shy! Write in, e-

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mail the newsgroup, let us know what's going on with your life, both inand out of the Bruderhof!

Apologetic AddressCorrection

Bill & Liz Peters & family Rte 5 Box 274M Caldwell, TX 77836 tel: 409 567 0879

T h e W h o l e K i t A n d C a b o o d l eToll-Free Phone for former Bruderhofers in need of advice and

referrals: 1 888 6 KINDERChristine Mathis, 12/31/99: I just received a phone call from Linda(Lord ) Jackson, and she asked me to share with you all that her mother,Mildred, passed into eternity this afternoon. My heart goes out to you,Linda, as to your father, Arthur, and all your siblings, with much love andsuch thankfulness that we have become so close again, especially duringthese last 10 or so years. This means we can share each others pains and

burdens and joys much more truly. Arthur and Mildred joined theBruderhof in the early days of Wheathill as did my parents, so I haveknown them for most of my life, and feel very privileged to have done so.After we had our children,o learn of the death of Mildred Lord. Mildredwas my grade 1 and 2 teacher in Isla Margarita, along with Lausbub Mel. Iremember her as being strict, but fair and kind. When I was sick andmissed three weeks of school, Mildred very patiently helped me get caughtup. She was a classy teacher!

Christine Mathis, 1/1/00: Hello all you dear folks everywhere! We wantto wish you all a very happy New Year and thank every one for all thesharing that went on during last year! Today dawned a beautifully clearbright day and remained that way all day, so gentle and quiet after lastnight's worldwide rauchus ruckus! Although we stayed away from thenoise, there seemed to be a lot of happiness and goodwill spread around.

My reason for writing though is to let all those who knew the FischersWilhelm and Lini know that today around 2 p.m Lini Fischer passed awayin complete peace. I had phoned her about two weeks ago and, although at

the time she was not ill, she said "Christine, I long to go home!!" So oursadness is very brightened over with joy for her. That is how the wholefamily feel about it. Wilhelm and Lini have been very close and dear toJoerg and me ever since we were engaged and were renounced by ourpeople in the community at the time, and the Fischers became wonderfulparents to us and we have sharedso much with them.

For those who don't know, they were Joerg's uncle and aunt, and lived inEngland since they were excluded from the community around 1961. Thefamily asked Joerg and me to let the part of family know who live in the

community as Anni Mathis, Joerg's mother, still lives in Woodcrest. Iphoned Woodcrest and asked for one of Joerg's sisters and after a while owaiting "she was not available." So I asked for other Mathis, but no one




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was available. I then asked where Pete M was. The telephonist wouldn'tsay. I said good-bye and hung up. I then remembered that Sanna and Petehad been in Beech Grove. I rang there number and a very slow femalevoice answered very politely and said she would get Pete. After no time atall she was back and VERY hesitantly told me that "Pete did not want totalk to me and said 'happy new year' and went to hang up. I cut in andasked for Gary St. This lass then returned and said, "Could you call back?"After all this I was feeling quite hurt and frustrated, so I told her this andadded that Joerg and I work and worship with the Salvation Army and theycannot understand or accept what the Bruderhof is doing to its relatives etc.etc. But before I was through, she hung up on me. So we will not attemptto contact them again to tell Anni about her sister. It's not worth while.

I tend to agree with what Tim Domer wrote to Christoph A. In fact, I amvery happy for what he said. Joerg and I do pray for our very dear

Bruderhof people, but I am afraid that "kind" words are just mocked andthrown to the wind. I am sorry that this has been written under some timepressure but, hope you all can get the gist of it! Much love and greetingsfrom Christine, and for Joerg too.

Joy (Johnson) MacDonald, 12/19/99: We have booked a high standardYouth Hostel in central Germany in a nature conservancy area close to theold Sinntal and Rhoen Bruderhofs east of Fulda. A very pleasantmountainous area with opportunities for hiking etc. Starting Saturday mid-afternoon, 22nd July 2000 to Tuesday morning 25th July, all meals

included at an exceptionally good price for the three days. Cost : DM150,or50 or $75, with reduced prices for children.

It is possible to book one day before or a few days afterwards but please donot contact the Youth Hostel yourself. Make all bookings and enquiries tothe following: In Britain contact Joy MacDonald, in the rest of Europecontact Isolde Brummerloh, in the States contact Ramn. Also contact theabove if you have any problem paying.

Please send a deposit of DM60, or 20, or $30 to your contact person - therest will be payable at the Youth Hostel.

A minibus will be travelling from England. Please indicate by the end oFebruary if you are likely to want to join the minibus group as we need toorganise the size of minibus and ferry booking. You will be asked to send adeposit once we have details possibly by Easter. When we travelled toWorpeswede for the last KIT gathering in Germany we not only had greatfun, it was also much cheaper going in a group by minibus.

Wayne Chesley, 12/31/99: If you have left the Bruderhof or are planningto leave, this is an important message. Tax time is approaching. You maybe sent a statement concerning your "dividends" from your share of the




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Bruderhof's income. You do not have to claim this income or pay taxes onit. The only income you have to pay taxes on is the income from your timeoutside of the Bruderhof.

This information comes directly from the Religious Affairs Office of theGeneral Counsel's office of the IRS. Not only do you not have to pay taxeson this dividend, but if you did in the past you may file an amended taxform to reclaim the taxes you paid.

If you have questions drop a note, I'd be glad to help, even to offer adviceand contacts in this matter anonymously and privately.

Alan J. Herring, 12/14/99: I wish every reader a happy new year and hopesome progress can be made with the Bruderhof with regard to opening upreal dialog on many subjects which concern us all.

I am very encouraged by the open, honest and courageous comments oTim Domer, it must be very painful for him to suffer so many rebuffs fromhis family on the Bruderhof, my sincere thanks you Tim for all you write.The last time I saw Tim must have been in 1967 !! Time flies but mymemories of Woodcrest are very clear and in some instances still painfuleven now.

During the past weeks, both our sons have become engaged to marry;Carolyn and I are very pleased about this and feel so lucky in having fine

loving sons. Regards

Melchior J Fros, 12/9/99:

"Hear, good folk, hear from the tower,

Twelve o'clock is now the hour.

Time will end and man must be

Mindful of Eternity.

Though men watch it naught availeth,

God must watch,

His arm prevaileth.




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Lord, by Thy most gracious might,

Grant us all a peaceful night. "

The concept of a night watchman took a turn in Primavera, where thebrother on duty had the task of (somehow) discouraging thieving. I do not

recall hearing him sing. My ears were "good" back then, mind you. Thepoor man carried a kerosene lamp which, presumably, was meant to aidhim in seeing any culprit in the "act". Obviously, the lamp gave him awayand I am sure many a thief simply hid in the bushes and snickereduncontrollably.

My dad tells of hearing a commotion in the Loma Kindergarten. Worriedfor his safety and aware that he was by nature far too gentle to handle athief by the scruff of the neck (most had no shirts!), he went to investigate;

lamp held at arms length. Two eyes glowed in the dark. The poor man'sheartbeat increased. Lamp-lit eyes met eyes, and eyes beheld: a poor goat,tethered to a tree by a "thoughtful" brother. Hoert ihr, Leut?

Tim Domer, 12/3/99: The only way the Bruderhof can "make a completeturn around" is after a total collapse of the Bruderhof power structure andthe tradition of an Elder (King) with essentially unlimited power.

As long as the Elder (King) is believed to have a special relationship withGod and through this relationship conveys God's will to the members,

there is no hope of any "turn around". There may be people who have somuch faith that they are able to discern God's will, at times. However,when those individuals are elevated it is wrong. I doubt that faith reallyruns in dynasties, being passed from father to son.

By collapse, I do not mean that the social structure must necessarily breakdown. There are many people, children, elderly, who cannot care forthemselves outside of the social "safety net" of the Bruderhof. Rather, thecollapse must occur within the Eldership and those who prop up thatEldership.

Unfortunately my father has played a pivotal role in keeping Heini andnow JCA in power. My brother Christian is walking in his footsteps and isat least as fanatical if not more so.

I feel a certain responsibility to speak out the truth as I see it. Until thattruth is fully realized, both by the Bruderhof members and those who mayadmire the Bruderhof in some way, there is no hope for any real change.The Bruderhof system is so corrupt and has strayed so far from anythingtruly Christian that incremental change is probably meaningless.

We can "hope" for a change. I feel a need, however, to actively work forthat change. At present all I can do is speak out.




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Christoph Arnold,Christmas and Millennium Greetings, 12/16/99: DearRamn, Paul Fox, Blair and Margot Purcell, David Ostrom, Russ & JaneEanes and all who so faithfully over the years have looked after ourwellbeing,

It would not be right to let this year 1999 pass without a word from me.We live in a serious time and with the end and start of a new millennium,that alone brings uncertainties providing one's life is not deeply founded ona faith in God. I will never forget the positive times I have had with eachone mentioned in the above address, and with many others who, no doubt,will read this message.

All of you, like myself, must be realizing that the years are slipping byvery fast. The day will come when each one of us will have to stand beforeGod and give an account for all the good and the wrong things which we

have done.

One thing you all have proven to me is that you are very sincere in whatyou have tried to do to discredit the Bruderhof and myself in every anyway possible. You also have been very lavish in bestowing just aboutevery conceivable title on me such as cult leader, sexual pervert, powerseeker, antiChrist, and many other that do not come to my mind. There arenot many people in this world with so many titles like myself, enough toget honorary degrees from Harvard, Yale, and Oxford. All this has hadvery positive effects on my life because Jesus says so clearly we should

love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. This you havemanaged to really make a reality in my life. Thank you.

However, I would like to ask each one of you the question: What is it thatyou have achieved by so frantically producing one KIT after another; by sofrantically trying to discredit absolutely everything that the Bruderhof hastried and is trying to do? The way I see it is that you all are leaving alegacy. When the day comes and we are all dead and people read all thatstuff you have produced, all the postings you have submitted, many willsadly say, "Wow, these must have been angry and bitter people. May Godhave mercy on them and may they rest peacefully in their graves." Askyourself what satisfaction have you received, or are receiving from all othis. Jesus leaves the very simple instructions to love God with all youheart, mind, and soul and to love your neighbor as yourself. Oh, how muchmore positive life would be if that would happen. Life is difficult enoughas it is. My prayer for the new millennium is that we work together forsomething that is positive instead of discrediting one another and creating anet of confusion throughout the world.

I really mean this posting sincerely and well. I wish each one of you, alsothose I did not mention by name, a joyful, blessed and peaceful Christmaswith your wives, and children, and friends, because I have an uneasy




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feeling that worldwide we might be into a real roller coaster ride that willput everyone's faith to the test. If you would be so kind and publish thisletter in the next KIT to be sure that everyone has the chance to read it, andthat we in the Bruderhof are not afraid of you, that we love you and prayfor you and wish you the best. In friendship,

Wayne Chesley, 12/17/99: Christoph Arnold wrote: "One thing you allhave proven to me is that you are very sincere in what you have tried to doto discredit the Bruderhof and myself in every any way possible. ... All thishas had very positive effects on my life because Jesus says so clearly weshould love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us."

It was for quoting these very words of Jesus that I was put out of thebrotherhood. Your hypocrisy astounds me. Christoph Arnold, it is you andthe members of your inner circle who discredit everything the Bruderho

claims to stand for. If you were but a common member you wouldrightfully be put in exclusion for the things you have done. When, for yoursoul's sake, the Hutterites tried to hold you accountable for your actions,you ran away and took the Bruderhof

The Dorsey Family's Christmas / New Year'sphoto

communities with you. When anyone, out of respect to their novice vowsor the teachings of Jesus tries to hold you and the Bruderhof accountablefor their words and actions they are crushed.

The followers of Jesus in the brotherhood are awake to what you havedone and what you are doing. Many more will stand up like the Foxes andthe Eanes, and the truth will be spoken more and more loudly and publicly.




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It is for your sake and the sakes of the many who follow you in fear thatwe must and will speak out. It is just that we speak the truth and challengethe lies.

You challenge us to consider the legacy we will leave. I challenge you toconsider your soul's fate in eternity. God will not accept your piouspronouncements publicly proclaimed on this forum. God expects action.You must indeed love those whom you have declared as your enemies. Ichallenge you to reveal to the world what you are doing to love theseenemies. I especially challenge you to announce publicly that you willcommence to discuss the grievances of ex-bruderhofers through amediation organization and that you immediately stop prohibiting"outsiders" from visiting or contacting their family members and friendsinside the Bruderhof.

For Bruderhof members who might read this, I implore you to consideryour own souls and the voice in you that cries out "no" when Christophdemands a "YES". Do not be counted among the hypocrites in the daywhen God judges all men. Do not be "spineless", but stand up for Jesus andthe truth.

Tim Domer, 12/17/99: This letter [from Christoph] is just as sincere and"loving" as the letter JCA wrote when they dropped the lawsuit. It is cold,callus, insincere and a mockery.

If JCA had any insight into the depth of the cruelty in his heart he wouldbeg forgiveness for the deep pain he has caused, while there is still time.

He states " I wish each one of you, also those I did not mention by name, aoyful, blessed and peaceful Christmas with your wives, and children, and

friends...", knowing full well that so many have been rejected by parents,family and friends. This is a mockery and a slap in the face.

This is vintage JCA, just as cruel, cold, sarcastic and arrogant as ever. Hemade up several of those titles himself. I certainly have not seen some o

them. This man is full of himself.

I actually find this posting to be quite sickening. My feeling is that whenhe talks about having to face God, he is speaking about himself. I see aman trying to convince himself that he is righteous when he knows in hisheart that he is corrupt.

If JCA has any human compassion in his heart he will reach out in ahumble way and open the doors of the Bruderhof to his "enemies".

My strong feeling is that we all ignore this posting, let it fall stillborn.

Ramn, Charlie et al, please do not print this in KIT. JCA seems to




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subscribe to the Hollywood adage "don't worry about what they say as longas they say it in print". He truly has no shame. Please do not feed his egoor publish this smut in KIT.

Charlie Lamar, 12/18/99: Dear Tim, I agree with you that Christoph'sletter is sickening and a complete mockery, certainly not even the slightestattempt to be nice. Is the reason you don't want it printed that you thinkpeople will believe it is sincere? Learning to penetrate Bruderhohypocrisy is a big part of what we have all gone through and are still verymuch in the process of going through.

I think we should print this letter and all others like it. Once when we weregoing through this before, with another letter from Christoph, I think itwas, Muschi said that people not wanting to see his letter in theirnewsletter was like the NAACP not wanting to see a letter from the KKK

in theirs, but it was all a matter of context. Once Loy McWhirter, to supplycontext, did a line by line translation of a letter from the Bruderhof. It waswonderful.

Christoph is one of the wolves in sheep's clothing. I say let him speak forhimself. We translate and we supply the context. Your post to the hummerwould be a very good start.

12/19/99: I think when dealing with Christoph or the Bruderhof it pays tobe absolutely factual. You want Christoph to experience his real feelings;

do you really think that whatever pain he is aware of at the present time isreal? I'm sure he experienced real pain once upon a time, but who causedthat pain? What do you think he experiences now - real pain or frustrationat his ego gratification?

On another line of thought, Tim and Margot, I think, were sayingsomething about not wanting to contribute to the buildup of Christoph'sego. I don't see why, because in trying to help Christoph like that, we mayhurt. It seems to me that the bigger Christoph's ego (and bank account)gets, the sooner it will be pulverized. I know the pulverization o

Christoph's ego might sound very much like a Bruderhof-type remedy sopeople will naturally want to take the opposite approach, but why shouldwe let an instinctive counter reaction to Bruderhof programming preventus from facilitating what would be the most beneficial possible outcome -the actual regrowth of Christoph?

Like any other not-yet-recovering alcoholic, drug addict or tin-horn tribaldictator, eventually, whether on this or that side of the grave, Christophwill have to "bottom out", come to the point where he finds out he has

absolutely no other options than the total dissolution of his entire way olife before any real recovery can begin. Jail conversions are often real, andin such cases there is no substitute for jail. Religious language, the rhetoric




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of kindness, has been totally corrupted in his mouth. How can we use itwith him?

Dave Ostrom, To the BC of NY Inc., 12/17/99: I find the posting [fromChristoph] somewhat ambiguous as it appears to attempt to convey aChristian message of wanting to "put the record straight" while at the sametime trying to bait people who are not in a position to defend themselves.This sounds much like it has been written by a certain _Doctor_ CharlesMoore for the benefit of J. C. Arnold, a bit of hypocrisy of itself.

You ask what we hope to gain by attacking "...everything we try to do..." Ianswer that it has taken more than thirty years of seeking and prayer tofind my way back to God after having led astray by your humanistic pied-piper teachings about Christianity. You and your toxic organization cannotdictate to people, in or out of your organization, what God's Will is. A fact

you and your organization appear to have completely forgotten or chose toignore is that God speaks to allpeople, not just JCA or his chosen elect. Asa Hutterite minister once told me, "We are walking parallel paths, not thesame path but yet not a confrontational path."

Chris, if in fact you wrote this letter, how come it is you have neverrecanted the statement you made to me forty three years ago thisChristmas, as you and your friend were physically kicking the daylightsout me in the Dinning room at Woodcrest, "We Germans are superior toyou stupid Americans, you will never be half the man I am!"? Sincerely,

Margot Purcell, 12/17/99: The message from JCA on ASB is a sad stateof affairs for the Bruderhof. I did not think that he was serious in what andhow he wrote and where he posted. Maybe JCA does in his warped way othinking, feel he has sent a "loving" note. I know he did not write it. Thelanguage is too proper, sentence structure is awesome and the letter is toolong (he himself told us he had no time for long letters). I would love toleave it alone and not respond, But..., there is so much I want to say inresponse. (There are already three messages up in response to his.)

IF JCA was seriously attempting to reconcile he would have had everyfamily send a loving greeting for the holiday and New year to theirrelatives, and/or sent a "short" note to everybody - not only the ones helisted (which in itself speaks loudly - who is listed and who is not) Maybe Iwill still receive a card from my family??????

My mother's birthday is on December 21, I will send her a card and Emilyalso wanted to send her a greeting. Maybe I should put a short quote oJCA's on the outside of the envelope or even the entire message of his

inside.

I can hear them on the hof now: "Dear Christoph put a loving message on




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the internet for all of KIT to see. He has heard only negative responses. Letme read what Wayne Chesley has written, and this from Russ Eanes'mother whom we had welcomed so many times with so much love. Shecalls him names. Dave Ostrom, whose family brought us much pain alsowrites and challenges dear Christoph. Christoph has taken all this to heartand is suffering deeply. Let us all show our support to our elder and lets gosing at his window." Enough of my sarcasm here,

Ellen Eanes, 12/18/99: As one who has full access to mail, phones, books,a computer and who can read, I don't think those who see these postingsand letters in the future will have the same interpretation that Christophputs on KIT. A once a month news letter is welcome to those denied accessto brothers, sisters, parents, children or contact with their families. Hardlyfrantic publication. More like a blessing. Instead, I suggest they will say,"What did this group called the Bruderhof have to hide? Why can't they

take constructive criticism to heart? Why did so many who gave their allhave to endure hardship to support a group and then be turned out to live inpoverty? Why can't the Bruderhof stand open communication? Whatfinally happened to the Bruderhof? Did they dissolve the Bruderhof, takethe millions and run? No wonder it did not last. They imploded." When aperson has access to all information, one looks at things differently,Christoph. I pity the good people who let the Bruderhof run their lives.

Ben Cavanna, 12/18/99: Hello Christoph, I am glad to see you postinghere. It has been a long time since we talked last. Lets keep talking - we

might find we can work things out!

The millennium is approaching and although the date is arbitrary in that wedon't know the exact date of Christ's birth, it is a great time to seek healingand an end to hurt.

Let's keep talking.

I wish you and Verena and all the others of my Bruderhof family peace.

Please pass on my love to my Mum and Dad and Patsy and Pedro andEsther, and Bridget and Nate, and all my nieces, nephews, great nieces andnephews.

I have been separated from them for too long. The pain of separation is adaily knife in my heart.

Please help to ease our pain by making it possible for me to see mybeloved family again. Many others are also in pain.

I know that actions of mine have brought you and the Bruderhof pain. I amtruly sorry for that.




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"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the earth."

Christoph, we could take a really brave and bold step here, I believe that iswhat our Bruderhof upbringing teaches us to strive for. I am sure Godwould smile on such an effort.

What might it be like if we were to learn to trust each other? In hope,

Tim Domer, 12/18/99: I just want to say that when I write about the painand anguish the coldheartedness of Bruderhof members, the leadership inparticular, causes, it is not my pain but rather the pain that all of us feel. Itis the pain felt by my children, my brothers' children and all children of the

Bruderhof who have been rejected. No human deserves this kind orejection by parent, family and friends. It is a rejection that comes from akind of fanaticism that clouds clear thinking. It warps the mind, distorts thetruth and twists the meaning of love into something grotesque.

No human deserves the kind of cruelty that the Bruderhof has shown toRamn in relation to his child and grandchildren. What the Bruderhof doesto its' "enemies" is wrong, evil and so totally unnecessary. It has nothing todo with love, yet they continue to hide behind a facade of Christianrighteousness.

At this time of year, when the world remembers the event of Christ's birth,the stark contrast of what the Bruderhof professes and what it does,becomes almost a cruel joke. I long that somehow, in some way, the fog othe personality cult that traps our parents and loved ones is lifted and truthfloods into their hearts. The corrupt system must be destroyed so that thelove that the Christ child represents can come in.

I hope and pray that real love and compassion dwell in my heart as well. I

know that souls, including Christoph, are hurting inside the Bruderhof.This whole thing could be over in half an hour if the fog was lifted andreal, honest dialogue took place. That is the greatest pity of all.

Hilarion Braun, 12/19/99: Hi Christoph! Greetings to you too. You keepsaying that KIT maligns you, and yet you never admit what damage theBruderhof has done to KIT. I doubt that I will stand before anyone after Idie, and so I don't live for that moment, but for now, to be decent andloving. I know of nobody who gave you those titles, and don't buy intoyour generalizations of KIT. If you really want to bring about peace

between the Bruderhof and KIT, try not to vent your venom every timeyou contact us. You have repeatedly read in KIT all of the favorable thingswe remember of the Bruderhof life. Dwell on those for a while, and see i




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those values really still exist on the Bruderhof.

I wish the Bruderhof that it become a realBruderhof, which by definitionwould have to be democratic. Susie and I have found fabulous friendsthrough KIT, and value KIT very very, very much. I, Hila, also still havefriends on Bruderhof, or at least I think so, but wouldn't know, since I amnot allowed to talk to them. In contrast, everyone on the Bruderhof isallowed to speak to me any time they wish. All I want is for the truth to bespoken by all of us. Love (also for Susie),

Rachel Mason Burger, 12/20/99: Dear Christoph, I write this in the spiritof the season. It is very painful to be out of touch with our 92-year-oldfather, especially at this time of year. Would you please convey hisfamily's love to him and be sure he receives our cards. This would mean sovery much to us and, hopefully, bring us all closer. With hope for the new

year,

Ben Cavanna, 12/26/99: I copy below my reply to Christoph's private e-mail to me. You will notice that he has a pattern of putting bait up on thepublic newsgroup and then taking the subsequent interchanges to private e-mail. Thus limiting our ability to publish the resulting nastiness.

I, of course, am legally bound to seek his permission if I wanted to quotehis private e-mails here in full.

You will note that to date he has not replied to my request for informationre my Dad's health. Is my Dad sick, dead or entirely well? Or is this just agreat illustration of Christoph's nasty ways? And if he treats us this way,imagine how he treats the emotional and spiritual prisoners trapped withinthe "Bruderhof" system.

Paul, Tara, Ben, Tamara, Tanya Cavanna on

Paul's Birthday




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In a message dated 12/18/1999, CArnold@ bruderhof.com writes: "Thankyou for your greeting. You write "we need to keep on talking, most of allwe have to rebuild the trust between us that has been so badly shattered."

Ben: I did not write what you have quoted above. Who did? I copy mypost to you in full below for your reference. I ask you to please only quotemy actual words as otherwise this leads to confusion and mistrust.

I do agree though that we need to build trust. Talking will be a good wayto start doing that.

JCA: "I will pass on your love to your family."

Ben: Thank you. I hope they will send a message back to me.

JCA: "We are a bit worried about your dad who has at the moment doublepneumonia. There is a nasty flu going around in all our communities."

Ben: I am very worried to hear that. I love my Dad very much. Please letme know how he progresses. He is old and this is a very serious illness.

JCA: "Thank you for our words, 'I know that actions of mine have broughtyou and the Bruderhof pain.,' and that you are sorry for that."

Ben: I should clarify what I said as I think I was not clear. I do know thatactions like holding the COB press conference in Kingston and telling ourside of some of the Bruderhof story caused you pain. That story has to betold and I will continue to tell the truth as I see it. What I am sorry for isthat you have to go through whatever pain hearing that truth causes you.

It is often painful to hear truth spoken. I know because I have heard painfultruths about myself, and tried to run away from them. But when I havebeen able to be brave enough to actually face that painful truth and feel thepain fully, then I have found it to be a huge relief and a healing process has

been able to start. I cannot change bad things I have done in my life, but Ihave discovered that I can stop doing them and act differently in the future.




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JCA: "Let's be thankful for any and every small step forward."

Ben: I agree. I takes many small steps to travel forward in life.

I can actually imagine a world where Bruderhof and ex-Bruderhof peoplefind healing and peace between us. But achieving that trust, healing and

peace will be very hard. Achieving it will take a great deal of courage,integrity and honesty. It will necessarily be a very painful process for allsides.

I do not kid myself. It will be very hard. It will be very painful. But it is aworld that I want to live in and is definitely worth striving for. Let's go forit.

Ramn Sender, 12/17/99: Dear Christoph, thank you for your New Year'sletter, and for your effort to break through your basic sarcasm After all, Irecognize that you are doing the best that you can, given the upbringingthat you received, and the talent and intelligence you were gifted.

Yes, KIT is producing a long and detailed legacy of the abusive systemthat the Bruderhof continues to promulgate under the disguise of biblicalChristianity, and I for one am proud of having put energy and enthusiasminto the bringing-together of so many of those you discarded as 'unworthy'.

Of course the KIT story could have a happy ending any time you decide to

show yourself willing to sit down in a fair and loving manner, in thecompany of an objective and loving third party, and resolve outstandingissues. After all, if Syria and Israel can come to the table to resolve theGolan Heights stand-off, it seems as if we might be able to do the same. Asfor the various names you have been called, I think you inflate the value osome of them, but perhaps not all. Again, they all can be wiped out in aninstant if you ever show yourself fearless enough to sit down with an openheart and mind, and deal with the long agenda of outstanding allegationsagainst you and your hitmen (sorry, but that's the word your agent used).

I'm glad that KIT has had such a positive effect on your life. I would find ithard to think that somehow I am doing something that is keeping someoneawake at night, or having to take special medications to get to sleep! Peaceis what we all hope and pray for, so I would hope we could concentrate onmaking it work within our small network and opening up families on bothsides to more visits and true dialogue. As you say, time is growing short!You mention something about what people will say when they read KIT'slegacy in the years to come." Personally, I imagine that at least some othem will say, "Wow, how amazing that so many survived the treatmentthey received at the hands of a such an unloving organization!

How could the Bruderhof leaders do what they did to so many? Obviously




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there was something very rotten at the very core of the place!" Again, allof this can change in a twinkling of an eye any time you decide to putdown your paranoia and your focus on fame and fortune, and becomewilling to dialogue seriously. Meanwhile, here's wishing you what the oldhippies used to say: "May the sweet baby Jesus shut your mouth and openyour heart. Happy Millennium, Christoph! May I respectfully suggest youbecome poor in all ways as quickly as possible. There's a narrow gate in allof our futures!

Please send our love to our grandchildren Gareth and Dorie, whom wehave not been allowed to see for eight years.

Wishing you with the greatest sincerity the true peace that passes allunderstanding,

Altarpiece by LeslieHolland




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Admiring new altar paintingby Leslie Holland, Andrea

Hirsch, Jacob Hirsch-Holland, Matt Holland,Hugh Holland, Leslie

Holland.

Leslie Holland - PurtonChurch, December

1999

Wayne and Betty Chesley, Russ and Jane Eanes, Paul and Diane Fox,Mel and Janet Fros, Mike and Karen Leblanc, David Ostrom, Blairand Margot Purcell, Helena Whitty, 12/28/99: Dear Christoph, theseason of Advent always brings to our minds happy memories of theBruderhof. Therefore we greet you and all the brothers and sisters withlove, and in the hope that the coming year may bring some form oreconciliation between us.

We also thank you for your prayers. You should know that we have neverceased to pray for you and for our brothers and sisters even when we have

felt constrained to make public some of our concerns about the Bruderhof.

As you say, all of us will have to stand before the throne of judgment,perhaps a great deal sooner than we expect. Undoubtedly, all of us willalso be in for some unpleasant surprises when the secret motivations of ourhearts, unknown even to ourselves, are placed under the uncompromisinggaze of God's justice. Our only hope to escape eternal damnation is faith inChrist Jesus and trust in His mercy.

In keeping with the wish you expressed for something positive to developbetween us, we would like to suggest that you, as responsible Elder of theBruderhof communities, remove all obstacles to visits and other contactsbetween former members, or children of members, and their family who




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remain in the Bruderhof. These barriers brought KIT and the newsgroupinto existence in the first place. Their abolition would go a long waytoward eliminating the need for them.

You are right: the coming years are likely to bring trials upon the wholeChristian church. We hope to be able to face them in fellowship with you.In peace,

Tim Domer, 12/24/99: Christoph, the only word that is missing from you,as we approach the end of 1999, is a sincere apology to all those humanbeings whom have been hurt so deeply over the years by the cold, cruel,compassionless, unjust, merciless and unloving practices of you, yourfather and the Bruderhof power structure. I see no difference between thisposting and the insincere, mocking posting you placed two years ago whenyou dropped your indefensible $15 million law suit against three people

you call your enemies.

I do not join the Purcells, Foxes, Chesleys, Froses and others who wishyou peace at this Christmas season. Christoph, I wish you un-peace. I wishyou the un-peace of a smitten heart. I wish for you the un-peace of a heartthat feels judged for using the name of the Lord in vain. I wish for you theun-peace of a person who realizes the tremendous hurt they have causedand who will not rest until all attempts are made to right the wrongs, toreach out in humbleness and love to those whom one has injured. Until yourecognize the truth of how far the actions of the Bruderhof toward its'

"enemies" are from the message of Christmas, there should be no peace foryou. Until you put your written and spoken words about forgiveness,reconciliation, seeking peace and loving one's enemies into honest, sincere,concrete, tangible practice, I wish you un-peace.

I do not want a phony "peace" with you, Christoph. My father told me thatunless I had a relationship with you I cannot have a relationship with himand my mother. I do not want a relationship with my parents based onanything but the love between parent and child and the love of parent andchild for God.

You have it in your power Christoph, to humble yourself to theBrotherhood and admit how far the basis of the Bruderhof life is from theexample that Christ lived and truth for which He died. Christ did not die sothat humans could have control over other humans. He died to free us fromthat kind of control.

I agree with you that time is short.

I earnestly hope that true peace, based on truth and the genuine love oChrist, can be a reality in 2000.




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Bette Bohlken-Zumpe, 12/28/99: Dear Christoph, I have read yourposting from 12/16 and am shocked at the way you want to contactBruderhof children and kicked-out members of the Community. If youread the postings in the KIT newsletters over the years, you will see thatthe most aggressive postings come from the Bruderhof members andchildren (also your own Christoph Andreas) and that most of us speaklovingly about our families, childhood, and our time on the Bruderhof, andwish for something new to give us chance in this life to turn the wrongsinto rights.

Tim says about everything that I would like to say, except that I would liketo ask you to examine your heart and mind. How can you write booksabout forgiveness and be so unforgiving? How can you tell absolute lies tothe brotherhood and then blame us for hate and anger? How can you cometo prayer with the Gemeindestunde when all these lies must burden your

heart? How can you start a new millennium in a spirit of sarcasm, hate andfear of fellow men and fellow believers in the same God? Many peoplehave tried to break the icy crust that covers your heart and mind. I wouldlike to ask you to just for once look at the fact of the relationship of us"Outies" with you "Innies." Does it really matter before God where westand on this earth? Is not the issue how our relationship is with God, theCreator of all things? The Bruderhof is but a drop of water in the large sea.What about all the Christians that try to find answers for the needs of menall over the globe? Do you really think that in God's eyes the Bruderhostands on a higher and better level than the rest of the world? Think,

Christoph just think for once and drop this sarcasm that is so unworthy oany believing Christians!

Admiring new altarpainting by LeslieHolland: Andrea Hirsch,

Jacob Hirsch-Holland,Matt Holland, HughHolland, Leslie.




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Why do you want to become so famous and rich at the expense of the loyalmembers? Are you not doing the exact thing our grandfather turned awayfrom seeking power and earthly riches? I know that I will not see mymother again in this life, but does this not bother you and give yousleepless nights? There is little more I can say except that we mostcertainly have not shown any aggressiveness towards you while theBruderhof under your personal leadership inflicted lawsuits upon us,prevented book from being published, wrote wicked letters about us,spread untruth about us, and many more evil things. In the end, you areonly hurting yourself and the cause you want to live for. You might laughat my letter and say, "At least we got Bette upset!"

Yes, I am upset. I knew your parents well, and although they, like all of us,made many mistakes, they were never as evil as you are towards your ownfamily and friends. Yes, I can say with Tim Domer, "I wish you unpeace

and restless nights until you are brave enough to tell the brotherhood thatthe paranoia against us was a creation of your own fears and mind.. Wealso are not afraid of you. Believe me, we have more important things todo. I feel sorry for you. You invite the Columbine highschoolers whowitnessed the shootings and you don't know them at all, nor the spirit theyare in. You visit and publish books from murderers and child abusers andyou are afraid of the people you grew up with and who loved you as aperson.

Please consider what I am saying, because you are right. Time is running

out for us. I do wish you a change of heart and attitude for the nextmillennium.

Ramn Sender, 12/28/99: I believe Christoph is consumed by an activeand abiding hatred for those of us who have stepped forward in KIT,alt.support. bruderhof and elsewhere, to hold a mirror up to his posturingas a world-famous spiritual counselor and expert on forgiveness. Thishatred he expresses by a sarcastic posting now and then to 'get a rise,'always making sure to include a hint about a well-beloved older relative'slagging health in order to rub salt in the open wounds of a cut-off familymember. Then he retreats behind a blocked e-mail address with a few well-placed jabs via personal e-mail to those who reply.

He culls the harvest of reactions for negative postings that he can readaloud to the brotherhood's shocked chorus of "ooh's!" and "oh-my's"! Thisraises his credibility status whenever it seems to lag, or whenever hewishes to lash the brotherhoods into a renewed frenzy of paranoia againstthe enemies threatening them from outside.

How long can this charade continue?

Thank goodness there still exist those good, kind, loving Bruderho




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members eager to work quietly on the inside to bring about a change ofleadership.

Ben Cavanna, 12/31/99: Tamara, Tara and I have just returned from twodays visiting with the Hollands and Mathis's. We had a lovely timecatching up with all the Hollands and joining them in viewing the new altarpainting that Leslie has done for Purton church. It is the Last Supper and isa wonderful mediaeval style painting. Christ and the apostles feet stick outfrom under the table cloth in a rather strange and fetching fashion.

The church is a very dramatic setting anyway, and with the sun streamingin through the stained glass windows it was a magical time. Childrenhaving a great time, preaching from the pulpits, telling each other storiesand Leslie talking about painting and his art school teacher. We all thenwent to visit Caroline Holland's grave which is in the churchyard there.

She was Matt and Andrea's first born who only survived for 11 days. Itwas lovely to hear about her short life and see her very simple head stone.Crisp cold day with blue sky and bright winter sunshine flooding over allof us.

Then on to Lower Shaw Farm for lunch and great chat. Tara disappearedoff with Anna Hirsch to go shopping with Andrea, and Tamara and I wentoff to Purton to visit with John and Janice. John and I did a couple of littlerewiring jobs and hung out eating stollen and drinking coffee. As it gotdark, I set up my telescope in the back yard and we had the most amazing

views of Jupiter and Saturn. The seeing was so steady that we could seeseven distinct cloud belts on Jupiter and the four moons Io EuropaGanymede and Callisto flung out either side. Saturn was its usual glorywith clear divisions showing in the rings.

Then Blanket over the Scope and Tamara and I went to visit Pete andJeanette after supper. Pete is recovering slowly from his autograft, butpretty wiped out. It is always difficult to have him rest enough and notdash about exhausting himself. It was very relaxed with him lying on thesettee and telling Tamara




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Migg and Elsie on the boat the Ameland -September 1999

Bette Bohlken-Zumpe, Migg Fischli and Elsie atthe Ameland Island cottage - September, 1999

about his time in Brazil working for the Nazi when he was chucked out othe Bruderhof in Paraguay. Roz dished out chunks of chocolate and weleafed through Pete and Jeanette's wedding album. I had not seen my

photographs since I took them and I was quite surprised how good theywere!

Pete really appreciates the good wishes and prayers that have been senthim. He is also facing a stem cell transplant from Either John or Matt inJan or Feb. He is very far from being out of the woods yet.

Then on to Joerg and Christine Mathis who live about three miles from theformer Cotswold Bruderhof where my parents met in 1940. They have alovely Hansel and Gretel house with diamond pane windows and warm

roaring log fire. Renatus Klver was there visiting after his trip toParaguay. Such a lovely family and we had coffee and traditional biscuits.Joerg gave me a tour of their lovely house with a room for each child andalso a music room come spare bedroom for guests.

I then returned to John and Janice's house to sleep leaving Tamara to sleepover with the Mathis's.

Driving to Purton at midnight the three-quarter moon was just rising abovethe horizon, reflected in the lake. Jere, you were not hallucinating when

you saw the moon on its back. This moon too was lying on its back. Ithappens with a last quarter moon just as it rises. It is virtually lying on itsback. It gets more and more upright as it rises higher in the sky so you




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really only see it just as it rises. You will also get the same effect when thefirst quarter moon sets.

John and I then proceeded to talk till 2.30 over numerous cups of coffee.

Following morning it was back to Lower Shaw to collect Tara, and back to

spend the rest of the day with the Mathis's and Renatus. We had a lovelygemutlisch day and evening including a walk round the village and alongthe flooding river. Football with Jonathan and pooh sticks at the bridge.

After supper Renatus got out his beautiful photographs of Paraguay andBrazil. They are just wonderful and I hope he brings them to KIT this year.For me the tears just flowed as I looked at the place of my birth and whereour people carved out a haven from war torn Europe. Blood sweat tearsand lives went into that project. And then the **** ****** tore it down,

scattering so many to fend for themselves.

Telescope out on the front lawn to bring the joy of Saturn and Jupiter toMathis and Klver. It is so satisfying to introduce friends to what I love somuch.

It was very hard to leave and very tempting to stay another night, but wehad to get back to Hastings. Three-hour drive, but the roads were quitequiet, so a relatively easy journey.

We are now preparing to see in the new year quietly at home. I havechecked out the live webcam at www.olivetree.org which is situated on themount of olives and at the East gate in Jerusalem. It has been set up by aChristian organization to watch for the second coming of Jesus. Love,

Tamara Cavanna, 12/11/99: Dear Christoph, I don't believe we've metbefore, but I'm Tamara Cavanna, the granddaughter of Peter and Kate. Iwas really interested to read your original posting to this newsgroup andust wanted to talk with you about it.

First of all I just want to exonerate myself from the burden of beingsomeone who has "tried to do to discredit the Bruderhof and myself inevery any way possible". As I've never met you I can't possibly judge you,and I have certainly not tried to discredit the bruderhof in every waypossible.

I am thrilled at your positive feelings about the new Millennium and feelthat I share your prayers for working together for something positive andconstructive. I hope that pieces of dialogue like this will eventually lead tofurther progress between Bruderhof members and others, and that peoplelike my father Ben will no longer be estranged from their parents. Forsurely the separation of families from one another is one of the greatestpains and wrongs of this world. Please pass my greetings to all of my




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family; Peter and Kate my grandparents and my uncles and aunts, andcousins.

To show my commitment to making improvements to the relationshipbetween my family "outside" the bruderhof, and those within it, I wouldlike to extend my hand in friendship by linking up with some of the youngpeople on the community. I belong to a world wide organisation calledModel United Nations, which seeks to simulate, in conference across theglobe, the working of the UN. It is a chance for people to representdifferent countries, cultures, religions and points of view, and, through this,become more aware of the difficulties that face the world today as westrive for peace and communication. It is a wonderful and highly acclaimedventure and this year I am helping to organise, with other universitystudents, the first even London Model United Nations Conference.

I would love to welcome any bruderhof young people, of university age, tothis. It is a fantastic opportunity for everyone and I am really keen tocommit to building bridges with the community by inviting interestedstudents to this conference. I really hope you will take this offer as aserious and peace-promoting gesture from me to you, and hope you willpass on the information to the young people of the Bruderhof. For moreinformation you can look at our (wonderful) website, www.londonmun.org.uk, and email me with any queries you might have. Please consider it!

So that is my little contribution to a better relationship for everyone

connected to the Bruderhof, it may seem silly and small, but it is what Ican offer you in the way of a new start for the new millennium. Yours inFriendship,

Margot W. Purcell, 12/31/99: Christoph and all at the Bruderhof, mythoughts go to all on the Bruderhof as you celebrate New Years Eve. Inyears past I recall the lighting of candles on a tree in the middle of thecircle as wishes for the new year were expressed.

My wish for this coming year is that Christoph, C. Domer and J.

Keiderling, step aside and learn the true meaning of the word LOVE. Thecontrol these three and a few others have over all the membership is notout of love, but purely to control their little troop of followers. Christoph,you have written to us several times and stated that you love us. That is nottrue and you know it. You do not even like us. I think you feel threatenedby the truth we write and want others to see. My wish is that you may learnto feel love and give love in return.

I know that you have been given a tremendous responsibility by the

brotherhood. It is a position I could not possibly fathom to undertake. Ihope you can look back at the years that you have been the elder, step backand reevaluate your achievements and behavior.




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Your initial note on ASB recently was filled with sarcasm and it wasdesigned to hurt. I had hoped that you really had intended to offer somenew ways of healing the immense pain you have caused. At first I wantedto write an angry letter back, but thought, no, I would give you a fewweeks to show me if you really did want to try for a new start. I have yet tosee any hint that this was your intention.

I wanted to hope for a better meaning behind it and thought that Paul Foxhad written a very good letter in response - to which we added our names.Why

New arrivals in the US:Leonard Pavitt, Heini

and Annemarie Arnold -1953?

did you not jump to answer this letter favorably? I had so hoped that youwould be willing to read these to the entire brotherhood and ask them whatthey thought should be done next. But I can visualize this scenario instead:The brotherhood is told that the enemy KIT is harassing Christoph again.In answer to his wonderful note on the newsgroup to all KIT people inwhich he asked for a new beginning, they responded with hatefulmessages. The messages will be read - with an attitude given- andeveryone will feel great sympathy toward you. You will not have attendedthis meeting as you needed to rest and recover from all the bad things saidabout you. At the end of the meeting all will gather at your window to singand show support to you.

Now I ask you, Christoph, do you truly deserve this type of support and




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love, or is it shown to you only because the members have to do this?Please look back over the years you have been the elder of the Bruderhof.Ask yourself if you have led the members on the right path. Ask them ithey all feel they can speak freely amongst each other and in the meetingswithout fear of reprisal. Ask yourself if the Bruderhof would be better iyou stepped aside.

I sent my parents a card for my mothers' birthday and for Christmas. Ienclosed a copy of your message on ASB, and I quoted one part of it on theoutside of the envelope. I had hoped that this would let them feel theycould open the card. I received the unopened card back on the same daythat we received a discouraging letter from you. Did my parents ask aboutthis card and the quote? Did you have anything to do with this card comingback to me?

The letter we received from you (Dec 23, 1999), offered no hope that youare looking for a change in the relationship between the Bruderhomembers and those of us who also once shared your life. You state " Anysign of love however small is significant in God's eyes." I have lookedforward for ten years to your first sign of love to ex-Bruderhofers and theirfamilies. You close by writing: "True peace comes from love, respect andreconciliation. It is to this that we look forward to God-willing the NewYear." We have been asking this from you for many years, now is the timeto start. The year you speak of starts tomorrow.

I now light the candle on the tree with my wish for true love and fellowshipfor all of us. Sincerely,

Tim Domer, 12/31/99: Dear Christian, it was with real sadness that I readyour posting here. No, I am not bitter. Only someone who has bitternesstoward me, or calls me their "enemy" could find bitterness in my postings.

Christian, you write as though you speak from some kind of moral orspiritual high ground or authority. You write that because of yourcommitment to the Bruderhof you have found a deep peace and a love that

transcends human love. You also twist my words and the obvious points omy posting.

I will remind you, Christian, that though you claim to follow the teachingsof Christ, including "love of enemies" (see the Bruderhof web page), youhave personally sued three of your enemies for $15 million. You and Joe,with the blessing of Christoph, have threatened other suits, including libelsuits, when people have done nothing but speak the truth or raisedquestions. You have been involved in placing a voice-activated tape

recording under the porch of one Bruderhof "enemy." You have beeninvolved with placing pink stickers, with a message implying sexualgratification, on phone booths. The number on the sticker was the home




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number of another Bruderhof "enemy". You lied in court when you saidyou did not know Blair Purcell. You also told me that you were Christoph'shitman. When I warned you about the serious consequences of perjury inyour $15 million lawsuit, you laughed and said, "you have more faith in thecourt system than we do".

When I asked you about the truth of some of these and other allegations,you replied: "What is important isn't what is true and what isn't true. It'smuch deeper than that".

Christian, there is nothing deeper or more fundamental than the truth.When the truth no longer matters all is lost. When the truth no longermatters people can have "'peace" in their hearts because their conscienceno longer bothers them. When truth is no longer important, the truthbecomes whatever one wants it to be - the facts be damned.

Since you tried to twist what I had written to Christoph, and since youwrite on behalf of the parents and family I have living on the Bruderhof, Iwill end with a letter I wrote to Daddy at the beginning of 1999. The letterspeaks for itself. I received no reply.

1/23/99: Dear Daddy, it has been over a year since we were cut off. It hasbeen a year since you and Mama were sent out, unannounced, to visit us. Ido not know how much longer you and I will be on this earth together. Ilong, however, that there can still be reconciliation between us.

When we ultimately meet God I think we will be asked what kind orelationship we had with those whose lives He entrusted to us. We will beasked how well we kept His Commandments. God knows the truth. Wewill not be able to convince Him of a lie.

Even though I was cut off, I am still your son. The relationship betweenparent and child is so sacred that God spoke of it in the TenCommandments that were given to Moses. "Honor thy father and mother."It goes without saying that parents should love the children that He entrusts

to them. You know in your heart of hearts that I have tried to keep thisCommandment and over the years have done far more than just talk aboutit. The things that have been said about me in the last two years, to Josephand others, are lies and are said in an attempt to justify my being cut off.God knows the truth.

I have never been given a clear reason for being cut off. To cut off one'schild is extremely serious. I would like a clear explanation of why my wife,your grand children and I have been cut off. You wrote "You have gone theway of KIT," but that does not mean anything to me. I had asked Christophquestions and received no honest answers. My impression is that I was cutoff because I did not have the "right relationship" with the Bruderhof,




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especially its elder. Over the years you have said that the issue is not myrelationship to the Bruderhof. I do not think that is actually the truth. Theentire issue seems to have been my relationship to the Bruderhof. Younever asked me about my relationship to God and Jesus or what I believe. Iwas only asked about my relationship to the Bruderhof - to Christoph inparticular.

If I was cut off because you felt that I do not love God and Jesus, Godknows that that is not true. I love God. I love Jesus. If you say I was cut ofbecause I am an "enemy" of Jesus, God knows that that also is a lie.

There is no Commandment that says I must revere a human or honor someleader. That, however, is what I felt, and feel, you have asked of me. Theelder

of the Bruderhof is a human being, with human failings just like all of us.He errs and will succumb to the corruption of power, like all of us. I cannotblindly follow any human being, especially when I feel they are wrong. Toquestion the Bruderhof, its' elder or the Brotherhood is not the same asquestioning God. I do not question God.

You said that it was blasphemy to say that I felt the Bruderhof treatsChristoph in an almost worshipful way. It is blasphemy to treat any humanbeing in such a way. You said I attacked Christoph and "to attack the headis to attack the center". I do not believe the any human is the center. Isn't itactually blasphemy or idolatry to equate Christoph, or the Bruderhof, withthe Center? Isn't Jesus the Center?

During a visit to Woodcrest a few years ago you said "Heini, or God, isleading us from heaven". Isn't it blasphemy to place anyone, includingHeini, next to God? In this case Heini was actually placed before God. I do

not believe God wants us to put anyone or anything before Him.

I have many failings. I do not show enough love to every one. I fail dailyin being the kind of person God wants me to be. I do, however, get up andtry again. I do try to keep God's Commandments. I want to have a lovingrelationship with my parents. That relationship cannot, however, be basedon my relationship to a human organization or another human being.

Sixteen years ago you and I fought something through. I saw the father thatI believe God intended you to be. You were kind and loving and gentle.

You said you wanted not only to be my father, but also to be my friend.When I spoke in the Brotherhood a few years ago you said that what Ispoke was the truth. It was and still is. I believe that if we look for what is




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God's truth, rather than what is of the Bruderhof or human beings, therecan be reconciliation.

I want to live an honorable life, to serve God and to live for the truth. Iwant to be able to have a genuine relationship with my parents, based onGod's love and truth. Time is growing short. There is still time, however, tofind God's genuine love and genuine truth. Your son,

Melchior Fros, 12/31/99:


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I beg you therefore to carefully consider how you are informing prospectivemembers of your grandfather's understanding that a commitment to theBruderhof brotherhood exceeds all other commitments (including marriageand family). All too often, people are drawn to the Bruderhof by itsirresistible outward charm. This attraction is enhanced for those who comefor reasons of marital or other distress. I hope you will consider printing abrochure for all guests to read, in which you clearly spell out some of the

ractical consequences of putting loyalty to the brotherhood above all otherearthly obligations .You will be doing guests as well as yourself a kindness;after all, are you not eager to seek out and membership those who fullyunderstand and agree to your views in this matter? If you do not want toleave a vale of sorrow in Australia, is it not right to consider this mattercarefully now?

Novice Vow And Bruderhof Constitution

I believe one of the Novice vows and the Bruderhof Constitution are incontradiction. The Novice vow I am thinking of is found on page 301 oTorches Rekindled, by Merrill Mow (c. 1989 The Plough PublishingHouse). It speaks clearly of the Novice's obligation to not only receiveadmonition but to pass it on as well if "you feel that something ought to becorrected or abolished". If this vow is fully honored without fear of reprisal,I believe a great deal of Bruderhof-made tragedy can be avoided.

Now, regarding the more recent Bruderhof constitution, its principal author,

Dick Domer, explained to me that it requires unconditional yielding to you,the Elder. My recollection is this yielding must be done even in the eventyou, as Elder, are obviously wrong.

It seems that out of this juxtaposition there arises a dilemma which leadsbrotherhood members to say they would rather all go wrong so that theycan be led to the right together. I am wondering if you could consider thismatter further, because so much pain has come about when membersliterally applied their novice vow. It appears to me that either the novicevow has to be abolished or the constitution reworded.

Something Has To Change

These thoughts are offered in the spirit of honest dialog such as youindicated you hoped for in the new year. I am not attempting to decidewhose interpretation of the Scriptures in correct. God will be our judge. ButI do hope that at minimum I can work with you to identify areas wherethere appears to be contradiction between Bruderhof faith and practice.Thank you for giving my thoughts consideration.

(Christoph wrote: "My prayer for the new millennium is that we worktogether for something that is positive instead of discrediting one another




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and creating a net of confusion throughout the world.")

Ann Nonny Mouse, 12/14/99: Dear KIT, let me edit Ploughman: "Notmany people leave... Only..." This absolute "only" provokes contention. Apossible correction: 'Those who cannot remain leave (some feel unfaithfulto the vows they made) the Bruderhof. Sometimes they find faithelsewhere, some return. You should make sure you know about theBruderhof before you join.

Psalm 119, CAPHL "mine eyes fail... for I have become like a bottle in thesmoke;"

Fear not the night

the morning follows soon.

Among the stars

'the sun shines from the moon;

it is by these

by midnight and by noon,

that earth grows riper

and her orchards bear.

So shall we too

become known by the fruit

In all we do

as we go here and there.

While going here and there, we often meet in opposite directions. Let menot become so certain of prosperity to forget how those who lost everybattle in this life are eternal warriors.

Between crack-ups for Hila's conclusion that Star is hasselhof material andBlair convincing them to stop the hassle, I noticed Tim Domer's sobercomments on confidence. A con artist does indeed contrive to gain bytelling "dirty" secrets; the bribery of the deception is called conniving. Byusing gossip (concocting perverse whims) the affront is to someone else's

public image.

I believe that hope is till in some hofnicks to the point they see




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(contradicting myself) that whatever holds them together is a miracle.Euphoria has not ended anyone thinking this is dope. Man! The mind canbe duped, but there are hidden message sin how the party line goes down:who, what and when can be deciphered, although never proven. Thepsychology of group think is self-defence (battles in public image) byassociation. So, among all those I knew face-to-face and those I read about,I seek the truth to the best of my ability integrity by conviction.

Hope is the thing with feathers....

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird

That keep so many warm...

Yet never in extremity

It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickenson

With Love in Hope,

Name Withheld: Advantages of a Bruderhof Childhood:

For Xmas 1999

"Laughter is the best medicine, not grumbling or complaining."

1. Parents faithful to each other i.e. married for

life, not divorced.

2. A good education.

3. Most had brothers and sisters (not an only child)

4. Learned crafts.

5. Learned to work at school and practical tasks.

6. Never starved.

7. Parents not killed in World War II, or crippled.




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8. Learned songs, dances, good culture and music.

9. No racial prejudice.

10. No overweight problems.

11. How to make a 'little' go a 'long way.'

Weren't we lucky, compared to many children in the world, including ourown?

For KIT 2000

"Positive thinking heals everything. The advantage of being brought up inthe Brotherhood compared to children in the world;

A new way of looking at life.

Haven't you all turned out well good members of society, useful membersof society? We learned right from wrong, not to cheat or lie or steal or toexploit the poor, but to help others with our money and time and toimprove the world and need of others. Thank you, Barney Johnson and therest of the crew,

P.S. The orphans taken in were not in an orphanage.

For the Future

Heal yourselves bypositive thinkingand by helping others worse off thanyou.

Nadine Moonje Pleil, 11/16/99: I would like to relate what happened inJan. 1991 when my father Victor died and then what happened when mymother Hilda died two and a half years later.

When my father Victor Crawley died Jan. 12th 1996 I received an earlymorning phone call from Dr. Milton Z. who notified me that my fatherhad passed away early that morning. I thanked him for letting me knowand we talked about how August and I could take part in the funeral. Alater phone call brought the news that James and Christa Rhoads wouldcome to pick us up and take us to Woodcrest. They would come fromNMR and would arrive at our house at 12:00 noon. We got ready to leaveand we thought how thoughtful the brotherhood was in making it possiblegot us to go to the funeral.

We arrived at 10:00 pm in Woodcrest and were immediately taken to seeVictor. Hilda was already in bed so we did not want to disturb her.




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Stan and Hela Ehrlich hosted us and they took us to our room which hadbeen very lovingly prepared and there we found a lot of condolence cardsfrom different brothers and sisters.

The next day Sunday Stan and Hela and August and I got some of Victor'spaintings and sketches together and exhibited them in the Carriage House..At lunch time I was given the entire lunchtime hour to tell about my fatherVictor. I was amazed that this was made possible. I was a little nervous,but everything went well. In the afternoon we laid my father to rest. Therewas a funeral service first at which we were present. At the burial Augustand sat next to mother Hilda and I was able to hold her hand. My parentshad been married sixty years. Before my father died, Hela Ehrlich phonedto let me know that my father wanted to see me, however I could hardlymake arrangements for a flight to Albany when I got the news about hisdeath. Hela Ehrlich had kept her word when she phoned me to tell me that

Victor wanted to see me. She had promised that she would let me know ianything should happen which I would need to know. She, Hela, wentback to Victor and told him that I was coming. Victor smiled and said"Good". He was at peace as he knew I was coming and had obviously feltthat he did not have long to live so he knew that I would be there tosupport my mother, and that I would be at her side. I have written all thisto show the contrast of what happened when my mother died.

Mother Hilda had told me when I went to see her in July of 1992 that shewanted me to be informed when she died and that she wanted me to be at

the funeral As it happened her last wishes were not respected. The elderand his servants of the word were very nasty and did not inform me of mymother's passing. Balz and Monika phoned her sister on the day mymother passed away, it is Eberhard Arnold's birthday. Klaus Barth toldBalz and Monika that Hilda had passed away and that he was sure thatWoodcrest would notify me, however they never did. I did not know aboutwhat had happened until Balz and Monika phoned me at 9:00 pm thatsame day and told me very gently that Hilda had died. They were shockedthat I had not been told. This all reminded me of when Xavie SenderRhodes died, and what Ramn had to go through.

I phoned Woodcrest, but soon realized that nobody was going to talk tome. I left a message for one of the servants to call me, but nobodyreturned my call. I told my minister son-in-law who then offered to phonefor me, he was treated very rudely and put on hold for twenty minutes andthen he realized that nobody was going to answer him so he hung up. Thenext day I called again and would not let anyone put me off. I was toldthat no servant was available that they were all off the place. I perseveredand finally got hold of Ian Winter who was so disrespectful toward me

that I was simply shocked. He is at least fifteen years younger than I am.

I finally was able to ask him why I was not informed about my mother's




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death. He really abused me verbally with a whole lot of nonsense abouthow I was an unfaithful member and that I of all people should understandwhy I could not come to the funeral and that he knew from my mother thatshe did not want me to come to the funeral and wanted no other relativesetc. He finally admitted that I was going to be informed several weeksafter the funeral. I told him in no uncertain terms how I felt and that healso had deprived the grandchildren of going to the funeral. He also had toadmit that he and the elder did not want me to come to the funeral for fearof me polluting their Holy Ground. I told Ian that he and Christoph Arnoldhad no right to tell us we could not come to the funeral. I also said that Icould not close another chapter of my life. The phone call was a lot longerthan that, but it would take too long to relate it all here. At the end of mybook I wrote in detail about the phone call.

Much later a reporter wrote an article about my book and went to NMR in

order to hear the other side of side of the story and interview Milton Z.She asked him why I had not been allowed to be present at my mother'sfuneral and Milton said, and I quote, "Because the experience at thefuneral of her father was so unpleasant." I was shocked at that, to say theleast. Milton was not at my father's funeral. How on earth could he saysomething like that? I have since learned that the people on the Bruderhosay whatever suits them, whether it is true or not. So you see how theservants, and in this case Milton, try to convince the outsiders that the ex-members are only out to create problems.

Thus ended a rather sad experience Since then I have not received thethings my mother wanted me to have nor did I receive the booklet omemories about my mother.

I wonder where does Cor: 1, 13 feature in all this? "But the greatest othese is love?" Marlys Swinger set those words to music and they wereoften sung in the commune. Does the commune know the true meaning olove? Do they want to know the true meaning of love? I will close withthe words on the dedication page of my book written by the poet Javan "When you truly know the meaning of the word Love, then you will alsoknow the meaning of the word Pain." Greetings to all.

Tribune-Review (Greensburg, PA)Internet search traces missing relative

By Dorothy Yagodich

Dr. Vinay Likhite came from India and Nadine Moonje Pleil left her lifewith the Bruderhof Community in South America. The pair, relatedthrough marriage, met for the first time in March in the United States

through the Internet.

Likhite is a cancer researcher living in Plattsburg, N.Y. While visiting




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friends in California, he used their Internet connection to begin searchingfor relatives with the same last name. After success with his own name,Likhite tried his mother's maiden name, Moonje.

He discovered two books connected to Moonje. One was acommemorative volume at the centennial year of his grandfather's deathand the other was written by Pleil, detailing her 40-year experience withthe Bruderhof Community over three continents.

Likhite was excited to learn that Pleil lived in Washington, PA. In hisearly years in India, Likhite heard about a young relative who had gone toParaguay. But when Likhite's family came to the United States in 1950,the girl had slipped from memory.

Now, finding her name by using an Internet search engine, Likhite felt

certain she was the missing relative. Late in the evening of Feb. 25, Pleilhad already gone to bed when the phone rang. Pleil was not sure the voiceon the other end was legitimate. "Maybe she thought I was atelemarketer," said Likhite, with a smile. He finally convinced Pleil hewas a relative.

As Pleil listened, she recalled reading the name Likhite in a newspaperclipping about her brother's wedding, since Likhite's mother, Vimal, hadattended the wedding.

Likhite came to visit in March and again for a second time in July,meeting with Pleil, her husband, August, and many of their eight children.The pair discussed the events that kept them apart for a half century.

Pleil was born in Birmingham, England to Elizabeth Elmore and a half-English, half-Indian man named Megendrah Ghose. Her parents hadalready separated before Nadine was born. Her father, "an educated andintelligent person," visited often and she grew to love both her father andthe grandfather with whom she and her mother lived.

Ghose wanted custody of the child, but a judge ruled she would be betteroff with the mother. When World War II started, Pleil lost touch with herfather and does not know what happened to him.

Meanwhile, her mother met and married a British naval captain, BadelRao Moonje, who had been sent from India to serve in England. "Myuncle was a good catch," said Likhite, "and she liked Indian men."

Young Nadine loved her new brother, Vijay, born of that union. But thatmarriage was also rocky and though Nadine carried his name, thestepfather, she says, resented her presence. When London was bombed,young Nadine was whisked off for three months to the safety of theBruderhof Community, north in Cotswolds. But the war changed




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everything. Vijay, her little brother, grew up in India and Nadine grew upin Paraguay.

Likhite said his uncle, "Badel Mama", as he called him, brought the youngEnglish woman and their son, Vijay, to visit often at the family home inBaroda, northwest of Bombay. "Maya Mami was very nice to me," saidLikhite, speaking of his aunt. When young Vijay was asked if he had anyother brothers or sisters, he replied that he had a sister in Paraguay.

As a teenager, Likhite spent summers at the Bhonsala Military School,"now the West Point of India," that his grandfather founded, "so I could

learn discipline." But it was the English aunt who schooled the young manin Western ways at the request of the grandfather. A knowledge of propertable manners was vital. "She taught me how to take small bits of foodwith the knife and fork. And instead of saying, "yeah," to say "yes, please"and "thank you." In proper circles, you would be dismissed for lack ogood manners," Likhite said.

The late-1800s were the days of the British Empire in India. Likhite'sgrandfather, Dr. B.S. Moonje, sent his sons to be educated on the Europeancontinent. "He wanted all his sons to be doctors," said Likhite, whose

father became a botanist, graduating from the University of Strasbourg,France, and earning a doctorate from Cornell University in the UnitedStates. His father later became the minister for agriculture in the princelystate of Baroda in India. The Baroda Palace is listed among the Wonders othe Orient, built in 1890 at a cost of $4 million, with a staff of 400.

And Likhite's grandfather got his wish. Dr. B.S. Moonje has 17 childrenand grandchildren who are doctors, either with medical degrees ordoctorates.

Besides establishing the Bhonsala Military School, Dr. B.S. Moonje was aprominent freedom-fighter who influenced the fight against British rule."He was president of the Indian Congress Party when Gandhi was just amember," according to Likhite, and much of Gandhi's correspondenceincludes records of Moonje's name. But Moonje wanted India for Hindusonly and

Gandhi said India should be for everybody. So Moonje began his ownbranch of the party. India gained freedom in 1947. But, much to his

dismay, Mahatma Gandhi saw his country split into Hindu India andMuslim Pakistan. "Today's prime minister is a member of my grandfather'sparty," Likhite said.




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With a doctorate in chemistry, Likhite taught at colleges and universitiesand then moved on to cancer research. He is married to an American, Dr.Fern Likhite, a family-practice physician in Plattsburgh. They have fourchildren and two grandchildren.

Likhite spent his early college years pursuing a bachelor's degree atMcPherson College in Kansas. Though he is a member of the Society othe Brethern, the Bruderhof was "recruiting" at McPherson at that time.Many of his classmates joined and, ironically, ended up in Paraguay.

Pleil finds it astounding that while she lived in the community, she knewmany of Likhite's classmates, never realizing that one day she would cometo know him as a long-lost relative.

Likhite, who grew up knowing Pleil's mother so well, said, "She had an

affinity for Indian men." Pleil bears out Likhite's statement. Her motherdivorced Badel Rao Moonje and then married for a third time to an Indianman. And Pleil, after four decades and three continents with the BruderhoCommunity, has settled in Washington with her husband and family.Already on book shelves is "Free From Bondage," the poignant tale abouther years in the Bruderhof. Pleil is working on a second book and atranslation of her books into the German language.

Likhite said he was sad to learn that it was his uncle who was soinsensitive to the young child, Nadine. But now, the joy of finding the

long-lost relative brings happiness and will be the highlight of this year'sLabor Day weekend when a large crowd of relatives is expected to gather.Lik

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KIT January 2000, Vol XII #1 New 1-16-00

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