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What is Body Language?What is Body Language?

In a faceIn a face--toto--face meeting, part of theface meeting, part of the

communication is carried in a noncommunication is carried in a non--verbalverbalform, what is often called body language.form, what is often called body language.

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Why is body language so important?Why is body language so important?

There are two principal reasons:There are two principal reasons:

People remember more of what they see thanPeople remember more of what they see than

what they hear.what they hear.

Through life experience, we have learned,Through life experience, we have learned,perhaps unconsciously, that people often lie withperhaps unconsciously, that people often lie withwords, but facial expressions and other bodywords, but facial expressions and other body

language tend to be more honest.language tend to be more honest.

When a person's words and body language areWhen a person's words and body language areconsistent, we believe that person.consistent, we believe that person.

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The Vocabulary Of Body LanguageThe Vocabulary Of Body Language

1. Positive Body Language1. Positive Body LanguagePositive body language is generally quite reliable asPositive body language is generally quite reliable asan indicator of a person's feelings. It signalsan indicator of a person's feelings. It signalsinterest in the other person and in the conversation.interest in the other person and in the conversation.

Relaxed postureRelaxed postureComfortably seated, relaxed breathing, no visibleComfortably seated, relaxed breathing, no visiblestiffness or abrupt movements. These indicate nostiffness or abrupt movements. These indicate nomajor barriers to communication.major barriers to communication.

Arms relaxedArms relaxedUncrossed arms and open hands (palms up orUncrossed arms and open hands (palms up orotherwise visible to the other person) are signs ofotherwise visible to the other person) are signs ofopenness.openness.

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Good eye contactGood eye contact

ooking in the other person's eyes, particularlyLooking in the other person's eyes, particularlywhen he is speaking, indicates interest in thatwhen he is speaking, indicates interest in thatperson. Proper eye contact involves looking awayperson. Proper eye contact involves looking awayoccasionally to avoid staring.occasionally to avoid staring.

Nodding agreementNodding agreementWhen nods are used to punctuate key things theWhen nods are used to punctuate key things theother person has said, they signal agreement,other person has said, they signal agreement,interest and understanding. However, continualinterest and understanding. However, continualunconscious bobbing of the head usually indicatesunconscious bobbing of the head usually indicates

that the listener is tuning out.that the listener is tuning out.

Taking notesTaking notesShows interest and involvement, particularly ifShows interest and involvement, particularly ifnotes are on what the other person is saying.notes are on what the other person is saying.

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SmilingSmilingThis is a very positive sign. It signals a warm,This is a very positive sign. It signals a warm,personal relationship.personal relationship.

Leaning closerLeaning closerReducing the distance between two people,Reducing the distance between two people,particularly when the other person is speaking,particularly when the other person is speaking,

indicates interest is up and barriers are down.indicates interest is up and barriers are down.

Gesturing warmlyGesturing warmlyTalking with hands, particularly with palms open,Talking with hands, particularly with palms open,indicates involvement in the conversation andindicates involvement in the conversation and

openness to the other person.openness to the other person.

For all of these positive gestures, moderation is therule. When they are exaggerated, they can becomemore negative than positive.

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2. Negative Body Language2. Negative Body LanguageActions that are generally considered negative mayActions that are generally considered negative may

just be a matter of comfort for this person, mayjust be a matter of comfort for this person, mayindicate that the person is tired, or may result fromindicate that the person is tired, or may result fromother matters that are weighing on this person'sother matters that are weighing on this person'smind.mind.

Tense bodyTense bodyStiffness, wrinkled brow, jerky body motion, handsStiffness, wrinkled brow, jerky body motion, handsclasped in front or palms down on the table.clasped in front or palms down on the table.

Arms folded in frontArms folded in frontThis creates a barrier and can express resistance toThis creates a barrier and can express resistance to

what is being said.what is being said.

Hand on faceHand on faceA hand over one's mouth is a closed gesture.A hand over one's mouth is a closed gesture.Leaning on one's elbow with the chin in the handLeaning on one's elbow with the chin in the hand

can communicate boredom.can communicate boredom.

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FidgetingFidgetingMoving around a lot, playing with things and drummingMoving around a lot, playing with things and drummingfingers are usually signs of boredom, nervousness orfingers are usually signs of boredom, nervousness orimpatience.impatience.

Arms behind head, leaning backArms behind head, leaning backIn a wellIn a well--established relationship, this can be a relaxedestablished relationship, this can be a relaxedgesture. In a new relationship, it is often used to express agesture. In a new relationship, it is often used to express adesire for control or power.desire for control or power.

YawningYawningThis signals boredom or confusion. The other person isThis signals boredom or confusion. The other person istalking too much or in too much technical detail.talking too much or in too much technical detail.

ImpatienceImpatience

Some signs are trying to interrupt what the other person isSome signs are trying to interrupt what the other person issaying or opening one's mouth frequently as if to speak.saying or opening one's mouth frequently as if to speak.

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DistractionDistraction

Eyes flicking about, blank stares, flipping throughEyes flicking about, blank stares, flipping throughliterature without really reading it, looking at othersliterature without really reading it, looking at othersin the office or looking at the person's body orin the office or looking at the person's body orclothing all represent distraction.clothing all represent distraction.

Leaning awayLeaning awayAvoiding moving closer, even when something isAvoiding moving closer, even when something ishanded to the person, is strongly negative.handed to the person, is strongly negative.

Negative facial expressionsNegative facial expressionsThese include shaking head, eyes narrowed,These include shaking head, eyes narrowed,scowling.scowling.

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Using Body Language EffectivelyUsing Body Language Effectively

There are two ways you can use body languageThere are two ways you can use body language

to enhance your faceto enhance your face--toto--face meetings:face meetings:

1. Observe the customer's body language.1. Observe the customer's body language.

2. Control your body language.2. Control your body language.

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1. Observing The Customer's Body Language1. Observing The Customer's Body Language

From the moment you greet the customer, observeFrom the moment you greet the customer, observethe customer's body language.the customer's body language.

At the beginning of the meeting, it is normal forAt the beginning of the meeting, it is normal forcustomers to appear somewhat reserved or nervous.customers to appear somewhat reserved or nervous.

If this is a new relationship, the customer may notIf this is a new relationship, the customer may notbe ready to trust you yet.be ready to trust you yet.

As the meeting progresses, the customer shouldAs the meeting progresses, the customer should

normally warm up and begin to display more opennormally warm up and begin to display more openbody language.body language.

Pay particular attention to any changes in thePay particular attention to any changes in thecustomer's body language, both positive andcustomer's body language, both positive and

negative.negative.

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Positive moves are buying signalsPositive moves are buying signals ---- you are onyou are onthe right track and should keep going in thethe right track and should keep going in the

direction where you are headed.direction where you are headed.

Negative moves are objections. They mean thatNegative moves are objections. They mean thatyou and the customer are beginning to diverge.you and the customer are beginning to diverge.Stop the track you are on, and get back in syncStop the track you are on, and get back in syncwith the customer.with the customer.

If the customer's body language is expressingIf the customer's body language is expressingdiscomfort or disagreement with what you arediscomfort or disagreement with what you aresaying, you need to uncover the basis for thesaying, you need to uncover the basis for thecustomer's discomfort and restore the positivecustomer's discomfort and restore the positive

track.track.

If the customer is dropping out of theIf the customer is dropping out of theconversation, it is time to stop talking and ask anconversation, it is time to stop talking and ask anopenopen--ended question to get the customerended question to get the customer

involved again.involved again.

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2. Controlling Your Own Body Language2. Controlling Your Own Body LanguageOOne person's body language unconsciouslyne person's body language unconsciouslyinfluences how the other person in a meeting feels.influences how the other person in a meeting feels.

Speak a familiar languageSpeak a familiar language

Maintain good posture, sitting erect but not stiff.Maintain good posture, sitting erect but not stiff.Hands should be visible and open.Hands should be visible and open.

Avoid closed gestures, such as crossing your armsAvoid closed gestures, such as crossing your armsacross your chest.across your chest.

Smile.Smile.

Maintain eye contact, particularly while theMaintain eye contact, particularly while thecustomer is speaking. This says you care aboutcustomer is speaking. This says you care aboutwhat the customer is saying. To avoid staring, lookwhat the customer is saying. To avoid staring, lookaway occasionally to take notes or to look ataway occasionally to take notes or to look at

materials the customer has brought.materials the customer has brought.

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Focus your attention on the customer. AvoidFocus your attention on the customer. Avoidfidgeting or letting your eyes wander while thefidgeting or letting your eyes wander while the

customer is speaking. These actions will draw thecustomer is speaking. These actions will draw thecustomer's attention away from the conversationcustomer's attention away from the conversationand suggest you would rather be somewhereand suggest you would rather be somewhereelse.else.

Nod agreement. This is positive if you do itNod agreement. This is positive if you do itconvincingly and in appropriate places. If you doconvincingly and in appropriate places. If you doit automatically, it says you are not listening.it automatically, it says you are not listening.

Occasionally express agreement verbally toOccasionally express agreement verbally toreinforce nods.reinforce nods.

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Reflect the customer's languageReflect the customer's language

Make customers feel more comfortable at first byMake customers feel more comfortable at first by

matching their body language.matching their body language.

For example:For example:

If the customer's body language is very open, match it.If the customer's body language is very open, match it.

If it is reserved or nervous, tone down your enthusiasmIf it is reserved or nervous, tone down your enthusiasma bit to make the customer more comfortable.a bit to make the customer more comfortable.

If the customer prefers to maintain some distance,If the customer prefers to maintain some distance,avoid moving too closely.avoid moving too closely.

If the customer moves slowly and makes few gestures,If the customer moves slowly and makes few gestures,avoid extensive gesturing and quick movements.avoid extensive gesturing and quick movements.

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Using Body Language To Influence TheUsing Body Language To Influence The

Way The Customer FeelsWay The Customer Feels

Start with body language that is generally considered to beStart with body language that is generally considered to bepositive.positive.

Carefully observe the customer's body language.Carefully observe the customer's body language.

Alter your body language to more closely match theAlter your body language to more closely match thecustomer's.customer's.

During the meeting, if you think a more positive tone isDuring the meeting, if you think a more positive tone isdesirable, gradually change your body language to be moredesirable, gradually change your body language to be morepositive in order to influence the way the customer feels.positive in order to influence the way the customer feels.

Always make positive transitions in your body language whileAlways make positive transitions in your body language whilethe customer is speaking. This says you support thethe customer is speaking. This says you support thecustomer's ideas and feelings. If you make changes whencustomer's ideas and feelings. If you make changes whenyou begin to speak, it may say that you are trying to takeyou begin to speak, it may say that you are trying to takecontrol.control.

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Additional Body Language TechniquesAdditional Body Language Techniques

1. Match your words and body language1. Match your words and body language

The customer will trust you less if you attempt toThe customer will trust you less if you attempt to

use body language that differs markedly fromuse body language that differs markedly fromwhat you are saying.what you are saying.

If you are honest in both, and use both toIf you are honest in both, and use both toexpress your sincere interest in helping theexpress your sincere interest in helping thecustomer.customer.

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2. Maintain the right distancePeople have a comfort zone for how close they

want other people to come; only people they feelvery comfortable with are allowed to penetratewithin a certain distance. Follow these guidelinesto maintain a comfortable distance:

Follow the customer's lead. From the momentyou greet customers, watch where they stand.This will tell you how close to approach. If theyback away a bit after the handshake, maintain agreater distance.

Don't tower over the customer. If you aremuch taller than the customer, be especiallycareful to keep a comfortable distance. Once youare seated and the customer communicates moreopenness, you can begin to approach moreclosely.

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Be careful about touching.Be careful about touching. A firm, briefA firm, brief

handshake is always acceptable for greetinghandshake is always acceptable for greetingsomeone you do not know well. Other touching issomeone you do not know well. Other touching isuncomfortable for many people.uncomfortable for many people.

Move closer together at an appropriate time.Move closer together at an appropriate time.

This is valuable in strengthening the positiveThis is valuable in strengthening the positiverelationship. But when you move closer to therelationship. But when you move closer to thecustomer, do it for a reason:customer, do it for a reason:

1. You can move closer to the customer to look at a1. You can move closer to the customer to look at a

document together, like a brochure.document together, like a brochure.

2. If the customer begins to lean closer, expressing2. If the customer begins to lean closer, expressingpositive energy towards you, it is OK for you to leanpositive energy towards you, it is OK for you to leancloser as well.closer as well.