Respect the bottom line.
Lester FreckletonGetting Things Done Motivating PeopleWhy do people fail to complete tasks?How do we get people to complete difficult tasks?What is our aim? Task completion or Motivation?
Getting Things DoneWhich best describes you?
Control Orientation - these individuals tend to act out ofextrinsic motivation, their behaviour being governed by external factors such as rewards, deadlines, and directions placed on them by others. They generally have little or low self-regulation, often feeling coerced to do a task. This exemplifies a controlled motivationtype. Deci,E & Ryan, R
Autonomy Orientation- individuals who are autonomy oriented are self-directed, they internalise the value of their effort and willingly engage in tasks purely out of interest. These individuals areautonomouslyor intrinsically motivated. Deci,E & Ryan, R
Impersonal Orientation -are those whose initiation and regulation are perceived to be beyond a person's intentional control. People with an impersonal orientation are likely to believe that they cannot control their behaviour and consequently cannot obtain desired outcomes; their behaviour can generally be described as amotivational or helpless.
Deci,E & Ryan, RGeneral Causality Orientation Quiz
The quiz was designed to test your "General Causality Orientation".
A's you are predominately"Autonomy Oriented"
B's you are predominately"Control Oriented
7Self Determination Theory
Deci and Vansteenkiste claim that there are three essential elements of SDT theory:Humans are inherently proactive with their potential and mastering their inner forces (such as drives and emotions).Humans have inherent tendency toward growth development and integrated functioning.Optimal development and actions are inherent in humans but they do not happen automatically.
Self Determination TheoryTools for achieving difficult outcomes
Assume their primary motive is always survival.Assume every behaviour has a purpose!Assume every person is responsible for meeting their own needs and can learn a better way!Assume a difficult person will always need to make choices.Assume a difficult person will not change if there is no clear pay off for them.Assume a difficult persons behaviour is their best choice at that moment.Assume there is not only one way to effectively communicate with a difficult person.
Lester FreckletonQ & AsGetting Things DoneDifficult SituationsPrinciple 1. Conflict is natural and inevitable, and can even be a source of improved relations.
Principle 2. The other person is a human being with hopes and dreams too.
Task Case Study Activity.
Respect The bottom line.
What is trust?Trust is about a relationship and about the sustaining of that relationship despite uncertainty or risk. A psychological state comprising the intention to accept vulnerability based upon positive expectations of the intentions or behaviour of another (Rousseau et al 1998).
TrustLearned behaviour/past experiencePersonalityMental or physical disabilityLack of motivationUnrealistic expectationsEgo and low self-esteemAbuse of power or statusLack of empathyFeeling threatened
Where does difficult behaviour come from?Difficult BehaviourDifficult Behaviour includes those who useDenial - I havent done anything wrong;Rationalisation & Minimisation - what do you expect me to do?;Diversion - well, you think Im bad, what about BobLying - it wasnt me;Covert intimidation - its not what they say, but what they do or do not do!
16Difficult behaviour includes those who use
Emotion - play the victim by crying, using emotional blackmail to manipulate others if they feel they are critisised.Seduction by going behind your back and above your head by seducing others in an attempt to undermine you.Projection - blame everyone else but themselves.
17Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People State facts in unemotional, fact-based sentences;Make your initial statement then stop talkingAvoid arguing during the confrontationFigure out the conflict resolution before the confrontation;Focus on the real issue of the confrontation
18Tactics for Dealing with Difficult PeopleSeparate the issue from the personTry not to take things personallyAsk questions rather than make statementsRecord every communication in writingBe assertive but not obnoxious
19Final tips for dealing with difficult peopleLook for lessons in every conflictBecome the observer - how do you behaveDont worry if some people dont like you. Do you like everyone???
20Final tips for dealing with difficult peopleWork out the worst case scenario, can you live with it?Avoid heated discussionsWork out whats most important, to you and to themPour honey/diffuse the situation whenever you can
21Final tips for dealing with difficult peopleDont get hookedDont let them get to youDevelop listening skillsDont blame othersWatch out for egos, your own included
22Be aware of your body language, tone and listening techniquesAvoid using or reacting to trigger wordsDont overuse the word sorryBuild rapportDont over promiseLower expectations
Final tips for dealing with difficult people23
Lester FreckletonQ & AsDifficult SituationsPushing Your ButtonsWhy do people push your button?
Emotional IntelligenceFor Emotional intelligence to be successful requires the effective awareness, control and management of one's own emotions, and those of other people. EQ embraces two aspects of intelligence:
Emotional IntelligenceUnderstanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behaviour and all.
Understanding others, and their feelings.
Goleman identified the five 'domains' of Emotional Intelligence as:Knowing your emotions.Managing your own emotions.Motivating yourself.Recognising and understanding other people's emotions.Managing relationships.
Lester FreckletonQ & AsEmotional Intelligence