Excerpts from

By Stef

My name is Stefania, I am 13 years old and I have Aspergers Syndrome. I have a statement of SEN (Special Educational Needs).

Because of my condition, people target me and they decide to do nasty things to me because I am different. There are lots of people that I come across that call me names such as strange or weird and names like that.

I find all this upsetting at times.

Child’s2009

As an “Aspie” (as I sometimes call it) and as with most people who have Autism, my senses are really high which can be a good thing. I can go into a department store and buy perfume and aftershave for people closest to me just by using my sense of smell! I go from counter to counter until I can smell the scent that the person I am buying for wears.

There are downsides to having increased senses though, I can’t travel in my Dads car as it smells of his chip shop, also I can only eat certain brands of food and I can taste straight away if my mom tries to fool me with a different brand if she has ran out! My increased sense of hearing means that I am a very light sleeper.

In my bedroom at home, I like to keep things the same in there and I have a specific place for everything because I get stressed when I lose something.

People find us strange, as we seem to become obsessed with one certain thing like a band or

person.

When I have a favourite friend, I become possessive over that friend and I get upset if anyone talks to her, I fear that they are trying to take my friend away.

I wish they could live in my body just for one day and see what it’s like! Although I have lots of friends sometimes, in my mind I can still feel lonely, because everyone thinks differently to me.

The social skills that come to people naturally, I don’t have. I am very used to people now, I didn’t used to be. I was diagnosed when I was quite young which means I have had lots of help. I have learnt how to see how someone is feeling and I can now empathise with them. Autistics have lack of empathy and can’t read other people’s emotions and expressions.

Sometimes when people look at my records and all the

things I have done that have been logged from years ago,

they think that I am still like that and as soon as I

meet them I can tell they are negative towards me.

Many teachers that don’t understand about Autism, look at me as a naughty child.

When you look at a child in a wheelchair, you can see that they have a disability, but with Autism it is an invisible disability so we have the problem with people just not understanding what we go through.

If there is a change to my timetable, then I need to be informed a few days before so that I know about it like a new teacher in the class.

I like to have a routine and I like structure.

When I go on school trips, the teachers call my parents in and they sometimes ask my parents to come along and I feel they don’t give me the freedom of sharing the same experience as all the other children.

In the classroom, I feel like the other children pick on me to get a reaction as I retaliate to them when I get annoyed. I end up getting into trouble as their behaviour is not seen but mine is when I retaliate, I am now working on how to walk away from a situation and not get involved.

I have three main friends in my life at school and they help me a lot. We have our ups and downs, but even though I am different, they accept me for who I am and I am very lucky to have them. Because of my lack of social skills, I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I say something and I haven’t said it right so people take it the wrong way and they understand that and they sympathise with me and don’t hold some sort of grudge.

I’ve noticed that some people that I barely have anything to do with are like my ‘secret stars’ because in the classroom they stick up for me and if I am upset they will wait for me outside the classroom and ask me if I’m alright.

I like having lots of teaching assistants instead of just one. When you just have one, they sometimes leave you and go to work at another school. You feel like it’s because of something you have done and you blame yourself and then you hate your Autism for making them leave.

I suffer a sensory overload and although I look like I’m awake, my mind just switches off. One time, when I “woke up” I was lying on the floor in the music room screaming and I was kicking my legs out. I don’t know what had happened or how long I had been doing that for!

This sometimes is caused by intense anger, misunderstanding, and stress. When something happens usually, I remember every little detail so I get upset when I have these absences because I can’t remember what’s happened when I’ve had one.

The best thing to do when I get upset and if I run out the room, come and find me but sit with me for a few minutes until I calm down and then ask me

if I want to go back into the lesson and work or come out the classroom to somewhere quieter and work.

I just want to fit in whenever possible.

I hope that this brief account of my day to day life has given you a better understanding of Autism from the perspective of someone who has it.

Stefania x

Child’s2009