Lights, Camera, Otter

Written by Christian Bajusz

Fade In: Mayor Jeff’s Boat EXT.

(The title appears)

Flick: (OS) Lights, Camera, Otter.

(Noise can be heard coming from inside Mayor Jeff’s boat)

Zoom in: Mayor Jeff’s boat

Cut to: Mayor Jeff’s boat INT.

(Inside the boat, the kids are watching a film strip of “Mallard Man Saves the Day” as it is being projected onto a bed sheet)

Pan: (slowly, to create suspense) The line of the kids watching the movie

SFX: “Help!”

Mallard Man: (OS) Sounds like a cry for help.

SFX: Woosh!

Mallard Man: (CNT’D) What seems to be the problem, Ma’am?

(The movie is now visible to the camera)

Woman in distress: There’s an alien in my boat!

(A figure with a fake-looking alien head comes into view)

Mallard Man: (pulls mask of the alleged alien) Why, that’s no alien. That’s your son with his mask from last Halloween!

Son: (giggles)

Woman in distress: So it is! Thank you, Mallard Man!

Mallard Man: (flies away) All in a day’s work, Ma’am.

Cut to: Flick next to Peanut

Flick: (loudly) Yeah! Mallard Man did it again!

Peanut: Shhh! We’re trying to watch the movie, Flick.

Flick: (quietly) Oh, right. Sorry. (He and Peanut go back to watching the movie)

Mallard Man: (OS) Oh no! Could it be? Is that the—

(Mayor Jeff stops the film strip)

Mayor Jeff: (comes into view) Sorry, y’all. But it’s getting to be lunch time.

(All the kids go “Aww…”)

Mayor Jeff: But I’ll show you the rest of it tomorrow, okay?

(The kids’ attitude changes)

All kids: Yeah! Yay! All right! Yes... (Etc.)

Wipe to: PB&J’s house INT.

(The Kitchen table)

Opal: So, how’d you kids like Mayor Jeff’s movie?

Jelly: It was great!

Peanut: It was super!

Butter: (giggles) Super duper!

Peanut: (in a disappointed voice) But we didn’t get to finish it.

Jelly: Mayor Jeff said he’d show us the rest of it tomorrow, though.

Ernest: You kids are pretty excited about it, right?

Peanut & Jelly: (at the same time) You betcha!

Wipe to: Mayor Jeff’s boat EXT.

(PB&J are there with Mayor Jeff)

Mayor Jeff: I’m sorry kids, but I can’t show you the rest of the film tomorrow.

Jelly: How come, Mayor Jeff?

Mayor Jeff: Well, my boat’s so full of sinks... (Peanut nods) …and toilet seats… (Jelly nods) …and pompaloafers…and many other things, that I lost it. I’m really sorry.

Peanut: Oh well.

Jelly: Thanks anyway.

Mayor Jeff: (calling out to PB&J as they leave) I’ll let y’all know if I find it, okay?

Peanut: Okay.

Cut to: PB&J in their sand box the next day

(The rest of the kids who don’t know about Mayor Jeff losing the film walk by PB&J’s house)

Flick: (realizes PB&J aren’t coming) Wait, everyone! (walks over to PB&J) Hey, aren’t y’all coming?

Jelly: Mayor Jeff lost the film in his mess of junk.

Peanut: We can’t come.

(The rest of the gang comes over to where PB&J and Flick are)

Pinch: Wow. That’s really disappointing.

Munchy: Yeah. (Chewing on nearby tree) I was really looking forward to it.

Jelly: You know, we should do the Noodle Dance to figure out what we’re going to do now.

Peanut: I’ll noodle, but I don’t think dancing will be necessary.

Noodle Dance

(Peanut joins in 2 seconds after the start)

Noodle, use your noodleNoodle, do the Noodle Dance

Solve a problem That’s no strainUse your noodleThat’s your brainUse your noodleUse your brainNoodle, do the Noodle Dance

Peanut: I’ve got it! (his idea is displayed on screen) We could help Mayor Jeff clean up his boat. Then, he could find the film faster! (His idea disappears)

Jelly: Great idea, Peanut. (beat) But Mayor Jeff didn’t sound like he wanted us to help.

Peanut: Oh, right.

Munchy: How about this? (idea is displayed on screen) We could use a metal detector to find where the film is. (the kids, in Munchy’s idea, find the film)

Peanut: (OS) I don’t think films are magnetic, Munchy. (the film disappears again in Munchy’s idea)

Munchy: No. What I meant was we could use it to detect the metal casing the film is in. (same idea at beginning is shown)

Peanut: That’s a great idea. (beat) But the only ones on Lake Hoohaw with a working metal detector are Ootsie and Bootsie. (Ootsie and Bootsie are shown with a metal detector in Peanut’s vision) I don’t think they’ll want to share it with us. (Peanut’s idea of Ootsie and Bootsie slamming the door on them is shown)

Munchy: Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Flick: Aw, cheese and quackers! I’d rather make my own movie than think about how I’m going to find a film!

Peanut: (pause) What was that, Flick?

Flick: I said, “I’d rather make my own movie than think about—”

Peanut: That’s it! We’ll make a movie! (Everyone cheers at the idea)

Song:

“Gonna Make a Movie”

Jelly: Better grab a camera.

Peanut: Better write a story.

Peanut and Jelly: (together) ‘Cause nothing’s gonna take away from our movie making glory.

Munchy: Get some film, get some stars…

Flick: When we’re famous, we get limo cars!

Flick and Munchy: (together) There’s nothing better that we like…

Everyone: …than making a movie…

Pinch: (talking) Don’t forget the mike!

Everyone: A movie, a movie. When we’re done, it’ll be so much fun to see. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today.

Pinch: There are so many things that we could do.

Everyone: A guy whose favorite color’s blue…

Peanut: A mouse who sneezes…Ahh choo! (falls backwards and quickly gets up)

Everyone: Every idea is something new. But there’s nothing better that we like then making a movie…

Flick: (looking at a script; speaking) Wait—who’s “Spike?”

Everyone: A movie, a movie. When we’re done it’ll be so much fun to see. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today.

Munchy: If we don’t want to stop, we will need props.

Peanut: I’ve got your props. Some old flip flops…

Jelly: A helmet that takes you to the moon…

Flick: Don’t forget the red balloon.

Pinch: A hero’s cape should not escape.

Munchy: We even have some window drapes.

Everyone: But there’s nothing better that we like than making a movie…

Peanut: (talking) I broke my bike.

Everyone: A movie, a movie. When we’re done, it’ll be so much fun to see. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today. Oodely, doodely, oodely, ay. We’re gonna make a movie today!

End of Song

Wipe to: Peanut bringing out props

(Peanut is carrying a large box with various items inside)

Peanut: Hey, y’all. I got the props.

(Everyone runs over to where Peanut puts down the box)

Pinch: (reaches into box and pulls out a crown) Let’s make a fairy princess movie. (dances around)

Flick: Are you kidding? Mallard Man is perfect movie material compared to a movie about dancing princesses and their (mimicking voice) magic little wands!

Pinch: Princess!

Flick: Mallard Man!

Pinch: Princess!

Flick: Mallard Man!

Peanut: Hey, y’all. Calm down. We can all come up with an idea together.

Flick: I still think Mallard Man is a good idea!

(Pinch groans at Flick)

Wipe to: Everyone standing in a circle

Jelly: What can we do that everyone will like?

Munchy: I know! Bucky Spacebeaver and the Wooden Warriors!

(A thought balloon appears over Munchy where his idea is shown. Peanut, Flick, and Scootch are the wooden warriors)

Wooden Warriors: It is us, the Wooden Warriors!

Bucky / Munchy: Oh no! What will I—did you say wooden?

Warrior Peanut: Yes, but—

Bucky / Munchy: (pulls out a fork and knife) Chow time!

(The Wooden Warriors run away screaming as Munchy chases them)

Dissolve to: Reality

Peanut: I don’t want to be wooden, thank you very much!

Butter: Party!

(Butter’s vision of her movie idea is shown. It consists of the kids dressed up as stuffed animals dancing around Butter, who is standing on a table set for a tea party.)

Flick: Aaah! Get that away! (pops Butter’s thought balloon)

Jelly: This is going to be harder than I thought.

Scootch: (pulls out megaphone from box)

Pinch: Scootch, no! The volume is—

Scootch: (causing a loud screeching sound as he speaks) Testing, testing.

Pinch: --too high.

Scootch: Sorry. Sorry. My fault. My fault.

Peanut: Why don’t we just get ready and go along with what we’ve got? It’ll be a cinch.

Munchy: Great idea, Peanut! Let’s do it!

Wipe to: Ootsie and Bootsie coming to where the kids are setting up the equipment for their movie

Ootsie: (referring to noise Scootch made earlier with megaphone) What was…

Bootsie: …that loud… (with Ootsie) …noise?

Ootsie: And just what are you doing?

Jelly: We’re getting ready to make a movie.

Ootsie: You?

Bootsie: Make a movie?

Peanut: Yeah! You want to make one with us?

Ootsie & Bootsie: (laugh together)

(Ootsie and Bootsie exit OS, still laughing; when they do, water splashes up onto the kids from out of nowhere)

Peanut: How did they do that?

Jelly: I don’t know.

Flick: Cheese and quackers! Let’s stop worrying about that and start making our movie!

Wipe to: The kids about to make their movie

(Ernest is the camera man. The kids’ set consists of a sheet of paper with medieval scenery drawn on it in a childish type of style as the background, along with a castle made out of cardboard.)

Peanut: (poking his head out from behind their background) Thanks for being our camera man, Dad.

Ernest: Thanks for asking, Peanut. (to the whole group) Okay. Places, everybody. And…action! (starts recording)

(Peanut and Munchy walk out dressed as knights)

Peanut: Oh, Knight Munchy, we cannot go on our journey any longer.

Munchy: Why, Knight Peanut?

Peanut: A dragon guards the path to the princess.

(Scootch comes out dressed like a dragon but the most harmless looking one you can imagine)

Scootch: (Running across the set) Yaaaah! (runs into and knocks over a cardboard tree which is part of the set) Sorry. Sorry.

Munchy: The dragon apologizes. Clearly a change of heart, am I right, Knight Peanut?

Peanut: You are! On to save the princess! (marches with Munchy towards the castle part of the set)

Cut to: Flick, Jelly, and Pinch behind the set

(Jelly and Pinch are trying to get Flick to go out wearing a princess costume)

Flick: No! I’m not going out there!

Jelly: But you have to.

Pinch: You’re the star!

Flick: Forget it! I’m not going out there wearing a dress! It’ll be recorded!

(Pinch puts the dress on Flick)

Jelly: (gently pushing him in a way to tell him to go out there) Just go. You’ll be great.

Cut to: The front of the set

Peanut: Hark! The princess is here!

Flick: (annoyed) Give me a break. (in a girlish sort of voice) Oh help me, young knights! Save me from the tower!

Munchy: Onward we move!

Peanut: We must save the princess!

Cut to: The Cranes observing the kids making the movie

Cap’n Crane: Watchbird alert! Watchbird alert! The kids are playing with swords, Connie!

Connie Crane: (clearly not paying much attention) What’s that, dear?

Cap’n Crane: I said, ‘The kids are playing with swords!’

Connie Crane: (looks over the balcony and sees Peanut and Munchy holding cardboard swords; she walks back and sits back down in the chair she was sitting in) Cap’n, the ‘swords’ the kids are playing with are made of cardboard.

Cap’n Crane: Cardboard? Oh. Heh, heh. I knew that.

Cut to: The set where the kids are making the movie

Flick: (to Ernest) Annnd cut!

Ernest: (stops recording) What’s the matter, Flick?

Flick: If I have to be a princess, then I might as well just make my own movie.

Peanut: Don’t say that, Flick. We’ll be able to work this out…I hope.

Commercial Break

(episode resumes)

Ernest: I have an idea, kids. (pulls a hat out of the prop box) Y’all write down your movie ideas (pulls a pad of paper out of his “pocket”), and I’ll draw one from this hat. (tears off and hands paper to each kid) Whichever one I pick, we do. (hands everyone a pencil)

Flick: Please, Mr. Otter. Whatever you do, please don’t draw a girly idea from the hat.

(Everyone writes down their ideas in 3 seconds and hands them to Ernest)

Ernest: Okay, everyone. I’m drawing an idea from the hat. (reaches in and pulls a piece of paper out of the hat) And the movie y’all will do is…

Flick: Please don’t be girly…please don’t be girly…

Ernest: …“The Beautiful Ballet.”

Flick: Cheese and quackers, no! Whose idea was that, anyway?

Pinch: (laughs nervously while blushing)

Jelly: There’s got to be some way that we can agree on a movie to make.

Pinch: The only question is, “What?”

Jelly: I know! Let’s do the Noodle Dance! That should help us!

Peanut: I’ll noodle, but I don’t feel like dancing.

(Noodle Dance music starts)

Noodle, use your noodleNoodle, do the Noodle DanceSolve a problemThat’s no strainUse your noodleThat’s your brainUse your noodleUse your brainDo the Noodle DanceIn a bindJust use your mindUse your noodle

Munchy: I’ve got it!Peanut: What? What happened? What?

Munchy: (his idea is shown) We can get an Agrument Solver 2000 and have that find an idea for us to agree on!

Peanut: Great idea, Munch. Do you know where we can find an Argument Solver 2000?

Munchy: No. I thought you had one.

Peanut: Nope. Man, this is one hard problem to solve.

Ernest: Not really. I think I may have found your solution.

Everyone but Ernest: What? What is it? (Etc.)

Ernest: Y’all remember that Mallard Man movie that Mayor Jeff showed you, right?

Flick: What’s that got to do with anything?

Ernest: I was thinking…perhaps you could make your own ending for the movie!

Peanut: Great idea, Dad! Come on, y’all! Let’s make a movie!

Wipe to: The background and props set up

Ernest: Places, everyone! Lights…camera…action! (starts recording)

Flick: Oh no! Could it be the rampaging robots?

Peanut: (in a robotic voice) Take me to your leader.

Munchy: (in a robotic voice) We are not aliens, remember?

Peanut: (in a robotic voice) Oh, right.

Flick: What are you doing? What have you done?

Munchy: (in a robotic voice) We have captured a girl.

(Camera pans over to reveal Pinch who is behind bars made out of cardboard)

Pinch: (with a tad too much pep) Oh, save me! Somebody!

Flick: Not to worry! Mallard Man is here! I will use my x-ray vision to free you. (tries to do so) Hmm…must have blown a fuse.

(Jelly, Butter, and Scootch come dressed in a superhero-ish way)

Jelly: Don’t worry, Mallard Man! Jammin’ Jelly and the Brave Babies will help you!

Butter and Scootch: (giggle)

Jelly: Have you tried bending the bars?

Flick: No. As a matter of fact, I haven’t.

Peanut: (in a robotic voice) You’re not planning to…?

Jelly: Come on, Mallard Man. I and the Brave Babies will bend the bars with you!

Flick: Sounds like a plan to me.

(Flick, Jelly, Butter, and Scootch walk up to where Pinch is “behind bars”)

Munchy: (in a robotic voice) Wait…don’t…

Jelly: On the count of three. (the four of them grab the bars) One…two…three!

(They rip off the parts of the bars that they were grabbing onto)

Scootch: (in the background of the above mentioned action) Yaaah!

Pinch: I’m free! (runs through the hole in the bars) Thank you, Mallard Man! (gives Flick a hug)

Flick: (disgusted) Eww! Gross!

Ernest: (stops recording) Cut! And that’s a wrap! Great job, everyone! You all did great!

All of the Kids: Yay! Yeah! Hooray! Yes! (they laugh)

(Mayor Jeff comes and interrupts the laughter)

Mayor Jeff: Hey, y’all! I have great news!

Peanut: (taking a couple seconds to stop his laughter) What is it, Mayor Jeff?

Mayor Jeff: You won’t believe this, but I found the film!

Everyone: Yay!

Mayor Jeff: I can show you the rest of it now. (notices Ernest) Why don’t you come too, Ernest?

Ernest: Thanks, Mayor Jeff. I’d be more than happy to.

(Everyone goes towards Mayor Jeff’s house-boat)

Fade to: Nightime; the Otter family is sitting at their dock

Opal: So, how was the movie, everyone?

Peanut: It was great!

Jelly: I loved it!

Opal: That’s great that you kids liked it. How about you, Ernest?

Ernest: I had a great time too, Opal.

Jelly: But you know, the ending wasn’t as good as what we did.

Opal: So you kids finally agreed on something?

Peanut: Yeah. It really is much more fun when you do something everyone wants to do.

Opal: (laughs)

Ernest: Well, kids. It’s about time for you to brush your teeth and get to bed.

Jelly: Aw, Dad.

Peanut: Let’s try doing something everyone wants to do.

Ernest: Nice try, kids.

(Everyone laughs as we all zoom out and see most of Lake Hoohaw)

End