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liquid harmonies

a recollection

by jake kingsley 

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code‐shifting

 your multi‐faceted personae‐my jaw wired tensedefacto fracturingsplinters spread across thetool‐shed floorboardsrusted filaments intermingling

(nostalgia whitewashedgleaming developmentsa darkroomreeking of chloroformand amphetamines)

sustenancefeed off the corpse of memory 

a ghost meltingout of a schismed pormanteau

(denouementmetal fragment puncturessans sensationcold apathy:an overdose)

facade

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alive;

awake.

‐

this homeostatic imbalancecannot be healthy,like the emeticsi force‐fed myself 

in infancy under thepseudonymof happiness.

‐

i fitlike an addict;

a feedback response:

to exist.

aleatoric

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an end of suffering

cycled through halcyon days with zeus' anger in tow a kingfisher perchedsentient beings upon the dharma

taking refuge in the triple gemeither side of the shortest day upon the banks of obscuration

internalistthree marks upon the brow  with the light of the morning star

an awakeningcessation of the conditioneda metamorphosis

peaceful timesafloat in the non‐self against the personagethe winds in full gale

rebirth

impermanence

phenomenology 

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death of the spirit

 withering away an icteric lily's gilding

kissing lithographsstained with bile pigmentetched into a ribcage

 your stippled lips

coalesced with mine

(disallocated memoriesmy phantom pains

 you, a visitantphantasmagoric)

mutual assimilationpartition equilibriumfading into an aetherpolarized static

non‐polar

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polyphonic counterpoint

a visceral fascinationrendered textureof omni(in)competence

(contrapposta:protesting traditionexpressionist monarchy urbanistic ecstasy the slightof mystic realism)

and angelic figuesintuit idealsliteral images illiterate

(an epoch epitomizedwith simple pleasof desecration:holy sacrilege)

to the twenty‐first

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low latitude:

an unbroken moon waxing a nadiroff‐white and pragmatic

tides fallingon opaque eyes

astronomical horizons

lucid and oblique

transparent zenithsheld below celestials

antipodal

(the sun ceases to riseand starts to decline)

direction of the head

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urnakosa:

circadian self‐doubtevocations of inner realmsmad decadencea biorhythmic chakraflowing inwardcongenital disquiet

(emanation;

a routless perfectless divinethe vortex self‐defeatingin absentiaof external thought)

zeitgeber

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an inverse,

a constructivistinterpreting game theory trying to provethe raison d'etre:a cepheidfinitistic variablefading in and outa sine wave's flux

quite periodic

(our livesare under translationoscillating;aperiodic thoughtsliquid harmonies)

hands of a clock 

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 you threaten me

 with the death of a dreamincubating thoughtsof divine separation:

force from matteraetherical fire;no changebetween the activeand the passive;static dynamicism where nothing goesunexplained;stripping the mysticof the beautiful vagaries

reasoned discoursea sword of Damocles

and from the planted seedhaunting reveriespermeate the soulbringing forced innocencestoic silence

chained passion

my reality destroyed

brutus

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snow‐white proxy 

a baptism by frostbite(you left me)

 winter windsdesolate wastelands(a relationship miscarried)

drifts building

 with crushing isolation(aborted love)

rationalized suicide

ice candy 

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 you are the schoolgirl

meticulous innocenceingested phosphines your words heavier than airself‐igniting

 you are my dopantmy impuritiessmall shardsof self‐hatredin your coy smile

bioaccumulation: whispers imprintingon a glassed soulobjets d'art

dissolution of want

generally happy folks

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there are birds on my windowsill

preened to inflectionnighthawks catching dream moths at dawn

they don't know i'm herein this greyscaled hibernationmy crepuscular safe havensoft‐glossed nocturne;sentinels, long‐wingedamplified hauntsmy phantasms

extremum:hallucinationsmomentarily straight thoughts

they don't know i'm here

it's all a bad dreama lack of sleep(they're tearing out the eyes now) just a dream

black‐eyed angels

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a scene‐

black yellowour comorbidity somatic

 visceralafterimageshanging aboutleisurely limpingalexithymic

‐synaesthesiaeinduced polarisation

 with photonic memoranda

(tetrachromat:grapheme;

your eyesthat one word.)

300 gigahertz

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it is winter here

and it is snowingin thin flakes of white

they fall on skindrawing shades of red and pink paper heartsinto cherubic cheeksof pale splendour

glistening in a melted sheenof iciclesslowly disappearingin the new breath of spring

falling one by one

until one alone remainsshimmering in midday  with droplets fallingfrom a softened point

fourteen shades of february 

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 when i die

set me afloaton open watersand watch until i fade away 

 we shall convalesce where the ocean meets the sky and our eyes can see no more

our perigee upon a horizonof blended azure and aquamarineour celestial zenithan opalescent anodyne

and aqueous breaths come gently as everything dissipates

into lenient nothingness

evaporation

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bittersweet nightshade

a climbing vineentwined aroundlocked statuette handscracked with agerelative shape remainingthrough time's erosiona wind both serene and troubledlike a lover's gentle touchupon a dying cheek enclosed in creeping tendrils with five purple petals lushpointing forward with eyes followingin hushed obedienceobeying subtle suggestions

 whispered from stone lipsthose dripping with solanineand other venomstrailing nightshade

solanum dulcamara

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i wish i had a heroin addiction

to distract me fromthe lingering injectionthat fell from your lips

as a permanent highof murky fluidpoem rivulets

small chesire smile fever dreamsstippled intravenously 

 white‐china witticisms

(and i'm obsessed with addictions)

degrees of solidity 

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 waiting on a street light

i pause andmy cigarette falls feebly 

concrete stainskiss cherried ash

(there is no usein wondering if 

there is a god

god is the safety orangeof a do not walk sign)

i exhalesteam and smokeslowly kneading my smoldering embers

ashen powdersmerge nicotine memories

(there is no usein wondering if there is a god

god is in the muted silverof an empty street)

the signal changesand the aimlessnessgoes forever on

drab symbols white walking ghosts

(there is no usein wondering if there is a god

 where is anno?

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cheap hawaiian charms

tied gently aroundslender pale wrists

leather wristlets adorned with vivisected jewels

those split flower blossomsfrom happier times

of airy ignorance& innocence

‐

a world on fireforsaken breath

leather tourniquets holdinglife by the seams

crimson stained haloes;as angels, blindin burning rains

small hands upturned;

soft submissionto the coronato the celestial& the beatific

as angels, blind

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(i only write in memories

simple thingslike patronizing corpseskissing chrysanthemums)

i am your imaginary man with razorblade poetry upon my tongue

i am with you when you are aloneand one day i will be gone

(all flowers wiltupon dead men's lips)

thin

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 your eyes are phthalocyanine

blue saturationskilling embryosand otherfive‐minute atonies

decolourised vagariesto be discardedas mortality 

‐

 your eyes are verdigrisgreen obscurationstoxifying cognitionand other

six‐year delusions

haematemesisof the soul

kayser‐fleischer

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the way 

 your upperand lower jaws meetis enoughto occludethe perfusion:

 your chemical ischaemia;

my paramorphine.

my thebaine

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i can't stand these violins

like the crème de mentheon your shaking voiceas you told me

 you were drowningin blue‐blooded nights

( those paper‐thin veins

apoplectic ) ;

the aniseon your breathas you sighedsmall schizocarpssplitting at their seams

 with wormwoodand burnt ennui

( these paper‐thin daysauscultating )

 

fin de siècle

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oh, special k.

 write your arm into a tourniquiet.

no stopping.

oh, you.

 yes, porcelain alice?

i already have the wound to stop.

 just the emptying of my veins for you.