Litost

Litost________________________________

Megan Lepasepp2014

------------------------------------------

Prior Lake High School7575 150th St W, Savage, MN 55372________________________________

Litost: (Czech)(Noun)1. A nearly untranslatable Czech word, a state of feeling miserable and humiliated. Litost is a state of torment created by the sudden sight of ones own misery,

Elaina.

It was a habit for her to blink quickly,Twice if she was annoyed;Her eyelashes curled upLong towards the heavenShe did not believe in;They would carve a smile in its pathOn anyone who drew near to her.Sophisticated thoughts translatedTo sarcastic remarks before departureFrom her teeth.Her tongue was triggered by habitExtending outwards to exploreThe confined humid air that occupied a dance studio.She disbursed more than a few full clock rotationsAt this studio every week,Which she was not continuously fond of.Consuming hours of trainingThat did not ensure her craving for her passion.She loved to dance.She recognized what she wantedAnd no one would be competent enoughTo provide her the understandingOf her passion for dance except herself.She currently devotes her dusks wakeful,Thinking about how very shortly she will leaveWhat is comfortable and reassuring.As an inspiring young woman,She will venture off into her own realmOf dance and dive head first through obstaclesShe will not ever sense approaching.That was long ago, however.That girl has become a young woman;In her early years at that.She ascended into a new level of her life:High school;But it seems she has not transcended.She rather seems to be chipping awayAt her mind with smokeAs if she could just breathe it out,But this smoke stays trappedWounding her lungsAnd her brain,And wont seem to depart.She spoke broken words of howShe does not remember her first kissThat she apparently experienced the night beforeBecause there was poison,Infecting her liver.Because there existed smog,Diminishing her consciousness

I Am

I am a creation of love;A once existed fire between two people.I am not the remaining ashes that persist of the burnt out flare,I am now my own flame, a burning passionate blue.I am not the red embers you once made me bleed.I am the sunrise.I wont set nor settle till I reach the highest point in the skyWhere I will rain sun drops that kiss the skin of every kin;Showing them all theyre equal in the eyes of the sun.I am the freckles on my skinBearing my mistakes.I am not the wounds my skin once worn from yours.I am not the pastThough, I carry the evidence.I am.

Theory of the Fireflies

Beauty refrains from persistence,Thus the curtain of the nightOr perhaps the absence of birds in the skyThe rest after the flight.The blink of your lashesThe breaths amidst the kiss,Tis why love seem a rarityWere blind, yet love persists.For energy never diesAs the sun does not perish, It sets to a different horizonLike fireflies flicker and flash.Though we lay to rest,This soil does not followJust because your attention is absent,Does not mean happenings have hallowed.Sleep with one eye conscious,Listen with one ear attentive,For if you miss a moment of your lifeYour soul may end unattended.

Ivory

They do not understand, I cannot beWithout the notes that help me breatheIntertwining strings with ivoryAnd bitter sweet words in harmony.Theyre criminals who take what they dont understandExpect me to explain, but wont lend a handScars can heal but the heart, it cantThe time it takes diamonds to turn into sand.I do not know and I cannot explainWhy the men in white coats diagnosed me insaneThey inform me its a chemical imbalance in my brainA tiny blue pill will take away my painThe people that know look at me in sorrowTell me not to give up hope for tomorrowMy mind, if they were to borrowThey would look at me with a heart less hollow.I dont shut out the world, I lock my demons in100mg of music, I attempt to medicate them.Theyve only refused, but had started to beginTo accept the man I once called my medicine.Now that he is gone, all I have left,Are sweet melodies to fill my empty chest.I should be honest, I must confess,My demons have become friends, the ones who preach death.

Alienation.

Lonesome are the people,Lonesome are the stars.Like another they emit bright light--Potential.Some, too far away To see their neighbors potentialThey believe they are lonely,But the stars are more lonesome than us.We look up to them Praying for a hand to holdAnd they look down on us,Seeing how nave we are beingSurrounded by multiples of ourselves.Labeling ourselves as lonely,Reluctant to open our armsWhile the stars live Vast miles away from their speciesYet they still prosper and live on.

Man to Woman

Man,Uncomfortable, Unsatisfied,Confused, Consideration, Contemplation,Surrender, Scared, Scarred, Saved,Transition, Transformed, Transgender,Woman.

HumanityHumiliating in their actionsUseless to the earths prosperityMan-made toxinsArrogant, conceited soulsNarcissistic and controllingIrresponsible with the beauty providedTragedyYou

RemainsDust under the bedOr in the dried out fieldsRemaining ashes of loved onesPast.

The SameI dont understandWhy dirt is unappealingWe came from the soilOur beating hearts as the rocksThen we return to the dust

Vivisepulture

Marietta awoke from her deep slumber in pitch black darkness feeling around for familiarities. She felt her nicely ironed petticoat twisted around her legs; she conquered that she must have fallen asleep with her formal garments on. Marietta could not recall what had happened the night before, but she could have sworn she was not intoxicated because she vowed fiercely to her purity. She reached up to feel the space around her only to be stopped by something hard, set right in front of her. Fear disabled Marietta as she froze, but just for a moment, before she broke out into a rage struggling to break the unknown barrier in front of her. She had been awake for just a few minutes and was slowly regaining consciousness and vague memories of what had happened the night before.10 hours earlierIn the crisp air of autumn, the bricks of a castle wall lay cold to Mariettas touch. She held the wall watching the extravagant gowns float across the ballroom floor. Testing her thoughts, she imagined herself dancing amongst the crowd. Marietta was unsure if she was in favor of the thought since she had always enjoyed her time to herself. Suddenly she caught the glimpse of a man approaching. The moment he looked into her eyes, Marietta felt vulnerable."What is an astonishing young woman like yourself doing all alone?" A deep harmonic voice questioned. Marietta turned around clutching her petticoat for a sense of security. She then placed her right foot behind her and curtsied ever so graciously but never dropped her gaze from this mysterious stranger's eyes. "I'm Marietta" she replied respectfully."Ah , Etta. Such a beaut.""Who gave you permission to use an informal petty nickname on me?" Marietta feverishly asked, almost offended."Etta darling, my sincerest apologies, but I have been watching you all night and I feel as if I already know you." The stranger slyly replied."Well you do not, sir, and--""I'd really like to if you would allow me to." The stranger smoothly spoke with a mischievous grin alluded on his face. He extended his hand out towards her as a gesture for her to join him in a slow dance. Hypnotized by his looks, Marietta put her hand gently in his indicating acceptance of the offer.While dancing, Marietta could gather that this John Doe was an extravagant rebel by the formation his hands were taking, and she gradually started to like the idea of it. He held her so close that she could feel the lust through his fingertips slowly heating her blood. The song ended and the stranger led Marietta through the large crowd to a wooden table for two towards the back of the ballroom. He pulled out her chair for her and she graciously sat down. He then left to get Marietta and himself a drink.Here you go, love, the stranger spoke with a sly smile. The dancing must have parched you a bit because you are a wonderful dancer.Ah, I beg to differ, Marietta pleaded, You, on the other hand, were magnificent!Well I tried my best because I did not wish to embarrass myself in front of such a beautiful young woman like yourself.Blushing, Marietta took a large sip of her drink and grinned towards him as a sign of thanks. She then started to feel a little dizzy but concluded that it was the dancing that had made her a bit tired. Little did Marietta know, infatuation was not the only thing coursing through her veins.Marietta spent the next few hours surging in and out of consciousness. She knew the stranger still accompanied her and that something was terribly wrong. She kept hearing the deep voice commanding her by name in short stuttered breaths.Etta. The stranger breathed.Etta. The stranger sang.Etta. The stranger mumbled.Marietta had no control over her movements and no recollection of what was occurring. The very last remembrance was of her being carried to what seemed to be a beautifully carved wooden bed. She felt a little bit relieved to know she was safe in a bed, despite the fact that she was not aware of whose it was. As Marietta was being laid in this confined bed, she recognized the silhouette that stood above her but could not figure out who it was exactly. She put her trust in this figure not knowing what was about to happen. The bed closed over her the exact moment she lost complete consciousness.After Marietta awoke, she felt sick and short of breath due to the restricted space. She just then realized that the man she had danced with the night before had taken advantage of her and had something to do with her being trapped inside what she now concluded was her death bed. Marietta was not aware of her surroundings or when, if she would ever be found or set free from the imprisonment bestowed upon her. Closing her eyes with tears streaming down her cheeks, Marietta said a final prayer to the God she did not believe in and gave up her soul to the unknown.

Alley Way

You learn to taste the kiss of lonelinessAs if youre trapped inside a vast abyss Some resort to anger and clenched fists Others to the corruption of foreign lipsIt seeps into your blood at a young ageSometimes from your fathers uncontrolled rageOr you isolate yourself because you felt betrayedYoure praying for the day this abyss will see rainThe sand has formed from your crumbling wallsYou can barely stand, you expect yourself to fallSo you down more unprescribed adderall Without it, you cannot function on defaultYou feel as if youre drowning in knivesEach time you resist, you sink deeper in this lieYou see no purpose in breathing Im here to find out whyIm holding you up, but you wont respond, dont defy

Supertramp

He felt his ambitions rise Overwhelming his veins A reaction took place in his blood,A drug infested praise.

Machines and money and manAll relatable He tired of the norm He dreamed of life on full.

He did not bother saying goodbyeHe felt it was saferFor his family not to know He was entering the unknown

Alaska was his goalAware of the difficultyHe would not mind the coldHe believed in his ability

He jumped into his truck And drove till he was stoppedBy an endless road lead By sand and sun and rock

He brought no compass with himAnd just a few change of clothes He swore he wouldnt return But exist amidst the great unknown

He met others like himTo his goals he held himselfA young girl fell in love with himHe placed her on the shelf

He walked for miles and miles With guilt exposedThe nature gave him hope again The trees taught him to let go Now amidst autumn The bitter wind imposed Teasing him with hints of winter And scaring away the crows

The sand and sun and rockNow freeze under the frost His heart still holding warmth Would not sell for any cost

His heart so depth and warm Reversing science spellsThawed the worlds spiteful soulsLove in the world now dwells

No one knows where to find him The man who healed the worldLegend said he lives in the wind The silent blessed whirl

He himself knows where he lives In the hearts of those who believed The world was much much more Than what it used to perceive

Humans are meant to thrive In the world unknown they were givenPaper success doesnt justify Survival of the fittest

Now he hopes for the universe To trust in what is already living Not in man made materials That intoxicate our limits

So let us live among our world The green the blue and brownAcknowledge the existence Of the man who holds our crown.

The Wind That BlowsWhere does man identify knowledge?Lo! Tis nature they must acknowledge,The advancements and obsessives,And a million unnecessary possessives;But tis the wind that blows,The wise words by Thoreau.

It Tastes Like MetalIts too late now, were all robotsWeve evolved into people who we are notWe used to be innovative, creative, and intelligent mindsNow people who see the light are so hard to findMemorize.Memorize.Memorize.Were mesmerized, I fearOur eyes are plastic bleeding polluted sea water tearsWe breathe in radioactive waves of technological messagesWeve established internet addictionSome joke and call it a fetishWhoever said addiction cant be habitual is imprudentOur whole society is brain washedAddicted to pollutantsTry to tell me your goals arent driven by societySome are even blinded, following man-made religious piety.Truth about the point of life went straight out the doorWhen success became measured by businessmen whoresLife shouldnt depend on the quality of our youthKids are meant to make mistakes, thats how we discover truth.

United States of DepressionA story too similar to others beforeA topic that hits most beings to the coreBecause this story is becoming all too commonPeople whose names are now somehow forgottenThe same story about depression and how they fought itImpatience, routine, and a crowd that just smiled and noddedJust because it isnt rare doesnt mean your words are less fairEveryone would have a chance to get better if we all just caredPeople look at this illness like its pathetic and fakeLike all we do is sit in sorrow and find attention to takeIts a cry for help because theyre too scared to step forwardBecause you told them what theyre feeling isnt as importantAs cancer, starvation, addiction well look hereDepression is an addiction, an addiction to tearsThat might not even fall from your eyes cause theyre locked in by fearCause if you show any emotion youd be labeled as a queerYou think people will find you as a burden, a useless problemTell you to get over it while youve just hit your rock bottomYou take their words to heart because you believe theyre thinking stableWould you believe that maybe they are also living a fable?Just as insecure, lonely, and lost in oppressionEven though they dont believe in the real truth of depressionMy church discriminates against what other people chooseWhats considered a sin may just be the right thing to doWere all sinners here, we just sin differentlyIt isnt fair to judge others on what they do rituallyI used to judge a friend behind his back I didnt even knowThat he was planning suicide, no one suspected he was lowHe showed signs and symptoms but nobody paid attentionNow guilty we look back and are able to make connectionsWe were too busy caught up in our own mentalityWe live in the United States of depression, welcome to reality

Hidden RootsIm wholly you, as you are meSplit up souls, but connect endlesslySeparated by earthquakes by the lava from hellWhen Gods holiest angel fellI am not a ChristianOr atheist, nor naveI choose not to classify myselfI am not blindly followingThough I believe in the DivineInside all of usAnd the more we multiplyThe more our connective souls rustWere all fractions of a wholeOf our beings potentialWe need to find our purpose togetherUnity is essentialBut were cursed by separationAnd find diversity eccentricWe make excuses not to bondSuch as foreign culture and ethnicsWe do not see the humanityIn our enemies, in othersUnnatural deaths from warInstead of being loversBy killing another, youre killing yourselfSlowly destroying you from the inside out

What I Cannot RememberInfidelity had become a side effectA symptom of invested toxinsA poisoned kiss from foreign lipsA mental break down lock in

My head fogged with smoke filled liesI could not find my way Everyone was oblivious to my altered mindFaint voices abusing my name

Now that my brain has drainedThe chemicals yet still lingerBetween my bones and in my veinsDrunk are the tips of my fingers