Issue #01 FREE SUMMER 2013 in this issue q LIVING WELL 07 q LIVING CONNECTED 17 q LIVING SPACES 33 q LIVING TOGETHER 47 Finding space in your home, your heart and your life to make real and lasting change! creating space Premiere Issue! environment relationships work health family spirituality lifestyle www.livingfengshui.ca Inspiring ideas to enhance your ch’i F eng S hui Living Body Wisdom Roadblocks to Happiness The Space for Healing Your Love Language Creating an Intentional Home
Transcript
Issue #01
Free
Summer 2013
in this issueq Living weLL 07q Living connected 17q Living SpaceS 33q Living together 47
Finding space in your home, your heart and your life to make real and lasting change!
creating space
Premiere Issue!environment relationships work health family spirituality lifestyle www.livingfengshui.ca
Inspiring ideas to enhance your ch’iFeng Shui
Living
Body WisdomRoadblocks to HappinessThe Space for HealingYour Love LanguageCreating an Intentional Home
happiness awaits! 31 an intentional home 35 Soul Space 37 perfectly uncomfortable Space 39 roadblocks to happiness 41 healing the earth 45 making Love, the Feng Shui way 49 Your Love Language 51 a powerful pause 53 Books to inspire 55 resources 57 the Final word 61
features05 From the i ching09 discover Qi11 Space for healing13 a Little mind Space15 create reality with Breath19 Listen up!23 Let perfect go25 draw a new map27 Live Large with Less29 Fire on the mountain
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enVironmentalLiving Feng Shui magazine is offered as a digital publication because we care about the environment.
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Welcome! I am so glad you have joined me in launching the inaugural issue of Living Feng Shui Magazine. It is a blessing
to me that you are here and I am grateful.
Why Living Feng Shui?
I am an interior designer and Feng Shui consultant. While I have a special place in my heart for home design and the way that we interact with our environments, I ultimately believe that Feng Shui is not just about our home and work environments. Feng Shui is part of an ancient system of living with and honouring the natural flow and cyclical nature of the Universe. It is about chi, our life force energy, and how it is affected by both our surroundings and by our inner workings; our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and emotions. Feng Shui touches everything.
For me, “Living Feng Shui”means living in the flow, in tune with our souls, tapped in to the Creative Universe, balanced, whole.
In the Universal way, we are often not all of these things all at one time. We can get out of alignment with our aspiration, out of touch with our inner longings, out of balance in our bodies and out of the flow. This is frustrating and painful and sometimes we all need a little reminder, some inspiration, to get us through these
spots and guide us back to our heart centre. It is my intention that Living Feng Shui will be a guide.
When envisioning this digital magazine I pictured a creative, nurturing, and soulful virtual space. A space that you could come to for inspiration. A space that would remind you of home, the home in your soul where truth and beauty reside.
It seemed appropriate then that the first issue would be devoted to the idea of creating space. Space is a requirement for growth. If a container is too small for a plant it dies, if we have too little space in our environment we are stifled, when we think we have the answers there is no room for new possibilities.
Our contributors in this issue all have a different take on creating space, from making space in your schedule for a small business to opening the energy channels in the body. It is my most sincere desire that their stories will remind you to make a little space for your own expansion.
Enjoy!
Mia StayskoPublisher and Editor, Living Feng Shui Magazine
Are you living spaciously?
from the editorInspiring ideas to enhance your ch’i
www.livingfengshui.ca
5 contemporary magazine month 20XX5 Living guidance
NourishmentFrom the I Ching
Question for the I Ching: What steps can Living Feng Shui readers take to create the most space for personal growth?
Answer: Gua 27, line 2, Mountain over Thunder,
Providing Nourishment
Interpretation: Gosh. This is such a big question. And it seems befitting, given the theme of our launch issue, Creating Space. Whenever I consult the I Ching, it is always an il-luminating experience, and today was no exception.
For me, the oracle is like a lotus. Its beauty and mystery seem to run deeper than its resident lake. Today’s question focuses on creating more space for our personal growth and evolution, and we are coun-selled to nourish ourselves and others properly.
Browne Walker states, “The image of this hexagram is that of an open mouth. It comes to remind us that the nourishment of our bodies and spirits is important and merits our conscious attention.”
Given that we are in spring, the second season of the year, it seems appropriate that the change line is also budding with
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us. As we are just beginning to take these words into consideration, many of us have already begun to shed the excess of winter with juice cleanses and outdoor activi-ties. Perhaps we have begun or resumed meditating. Maybe we have decided to go vegan or to start eating meat. Maybe a relationship has ended, so a new one can begin. Suddenly we are inspired to prac-tice yoga, take up rock climbing, or widen our circle by giving back to the community.The thunder at the bottom of the gua is our impetus for change. This desire cre-ates movement, flow, which enables us to reach a greater state as we aspire to the stillness and wisdom of mountain’s peak.
At the second spot on this journey, we are encouraged to study our actions closely and to choose our alliances wisely to avoid any setbacks or proverbial bumps along the way. The Toltec I Ching states, “You are entering a time of profound transfor-mation. In order to advance, give up some-thing from the past that has been holding you back. In order to give up something from the past, see yourself in the future. Consider what you will be like when your
Diana Ceres is a happy blogger and impromptu
philosopher. She currently resides in Austin, Texas, and does her best work fully caffeinated. She has studied Black Sect Feng Shui with Katherine Metz and has decided that the I Ching is definitely her thing.
Diana welcomes your comments and is available for private readings. She can be reached at [email protected]. You can also visit her online at: www.iching365.wordpress.com and www.bluedragonconsulting.com
inner obstacles are no more.”In closing, I leave you with a few questions to encourage the cultivation of more space in your lives: What steps can you take today to affect your personal growth? How will you nourish yourselves and others as you journey? And what will you leave behind, to free yourself to climb higher still?
For thousands of years the I Ching has been used to provide guidance to seekers, Diana Ceres consulted the Oracle for our readers and shares her interpretation.
You are a being of light, energy express-ing in form. You are made of the same cosmic stuff as the stars, the moon, the Universe itself. When your mind, body and spirit are in alignment with the wholeness of all that you are, you are in balance.
www.livingfengshui.ca
9 contemporary magazine month 20XX
Do you suffer from the effects of clutter? Overstuffed closets? Too many “junk” drawers?
Did you know that your external environment is reflected and a direct mirror of what is going on in your inner world?
When you create more space within, you will find that this will cause a positive shift that leads to more space in your outer world.
I’d like to share with you my journey of how Qigong has helped me create inner space and thus, has had a ripple effect on my external environment.
Space is created in our internal environment, you energetic self, through the meditative practice of Qigong ( chee - gong ). Through this self-healing tool, you learn how to enhance your quality of life by practicing the ways of opening your energy channels and maintaining your energy balance. Qigong enables us to tap into our body’s inner wisdom and activate our ability to help ourselves heal physically, emotionally , and spiritually. Everything in the Universe is energy or “Qi”. This fact has been recognized
by scientists since the work of Albert Einstein. Everything that we can see, as well as everything we can not see, is composed of dynamic relationships of energy. Einstein proved that while energy cannot be created nor destroyed, it can be transformed.
In Qigong healing we learn to transform energy, in that we can transform the energy blockages leading to illness or sickness into wellness. Energy flows through our body similarly to how water flows in a river system. It is meant to flow smoothly and harmoniously. When we experience symptoms such as a cold, headache, depression, these are symptoms that manifest due to the imbalance of energy flow in your body. When we remove energy blockages and restore energy flow, the symptoms will dissipate or completely go away.
As a Spring Forest Qigong (SFQ) instructor and practitioner, I’ve mastered the art of creating space within. This is done through removing energy blockages and allowing your energy to flow smoothly and harmoniously . You experience your optimal health, peak performance, and inner peace and serenity when your energy is balanced and flowing .In SFQ practice, we use the components of breathing, visualization, simple body
movements, and sound to help remove energy blockages and balance our energy.
I’d like to share with you one of the SFQ exercises to help you experience and create space within: “ Moving of Yin and Yang” This exercise heals internal organs and through the guidance of your mind and the movement of your hands, the Heart and Kidney energy join. Blockages open.
How to perform this exercise:
Start by standing with feet set a little more than shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent and toes pointed forward. Put a gentle smile on your face. Draw your chin back to straighten the spine, relax and drop your shoulders. Open your fingers to receive this beautiful universal energy.
With your right hand a few inches in front of your upper chest and your left hand a few inches in front of your lower stomach. Your palms face your body. Slowly your right hand moves out and down to the bottom of the torso while your left hand moves in and up your body to your face. Then your left hand moves out and down while your right hand moves in and up. Your hands continue slowly moving in
this quiet, gentle circular pattern. Use your elbows to guide the movements and use your hands to feel the energy. Your hands move at a rate of 3 to 5 circles per minute.
Imagine a transparent energy column of beautiful colors running from the top of your head to the bottom of the torso. While moving your hands, visualize the energy moving up and down the energy column. Visualize the channels in the torso opening up. Try to keep your spine straight while doing this meditation.You can practice this simple “moving meditation” exercise for a few minutes daily and gradually increase the time.
The benefits of removing energy blockages and balancing my energy have been quite profound in my life. My chronic neck and back pain are completely gone, I have renewed energy and vitality to live my life with more joy, I experience more authentic relationships and have surges of creative ideas!
The space that is created as I continue to work on my inner clearing has positively affected my external environment. As a result, my closets and junk drawers have also benefitted from experiencing some space as well!
Spring Forest Qigong was developed by international Qigong Master Chunyi Lin. To learn more please visit www.springforestqigong.com
Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013 10
Move the hands slowly in a gentle circular pattern in front of the body
See a video clip of this exercise at www.coreenergywellness.com
Munira Jiwa is a Spreader of Qi-Joy! Munira discovered the practice of Spring Forest
Qigong (SFQ) in 2006 and experienced a complete transformation from her chronic neck and back pain and the quality of her life. With renewed energy and sense of purpose she now devotes her time to sharing SFQ with everyone she meets.
Munira is currently the only Certified Spring Forest Qigong instructor in Canada. She graduated as a Physical Therapist in 1995 and completed her Feng Shui certification in 2009.
She is actively educating others through teaching SFQ workshops, practice groups, speaking at wellness conferences, writing, and facilitating energy balancing/coaching sessions.
Healing need not be time of suffering. With a few adjustments you can find that the time needed to recover from anything
from a broken heart to a broken back can be used for growth and leave you even stronger than when you started.
When we face a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual injury our first reaction is likely fear. Fear offers us the options of fight, flight or freeze. The most effective way to face this is to stop, breathe and become aware of where you are in the moment. Notice everything, from the physical, checking in with all 5 senses, to the subtle which would include sensations like tension, the space around you and what you are feeling and thinking. Inner presence and stillness allow the body to relax and relaxation promotes healing.
If the stillness seems to bring the fear to the surface, stay with it. In sharing the burden in prayer, in meditation or with a friend and resisting the urge to jump out of it, you will find that the fear dissipates and you are able to sink into the calm just below it.
By adjustments I mean conscious choices in your internal space. This sets the stage for deep listening. There is a piece of us that knows exactly what we need, in becoming present and receptive you will find yourself guided and less susceptible to the confusion and chaos that can surround illness, trauma or disease.
Let’s begin creating a place inside of you that is rich and fertile for becoming well. We usually look to outside influences to heal us. Whether this is Western, or Eastern medicine, healers or any of the astonishing array of choices available, we can work in concert with whatever we choose and enhance the effects. I am going to suggest that you consider two states of mind that not only feel better, but encourage healing. They are; presence and still, open and receptive.
The Space forHealingBy Fawna BewSwww.fawnabews.com
Does this sound familiar? You feel terrible and want to go to bed, but you feel like you have things to do so you keep doing them, or you finally collapse into bed and yet feel bad that you are not up! In this way we split our awareness, our body is in bed and our mind is up cleaning or vice versa. This is stressful. Presence means that the body, mind and spirit are all in the same place at the same time. You can counter the part of the mind that feels guilty by prioritizing healing for this portion of time, assuring yourself that the time for work and busyness will come again.
Once you are present and still, invite openness and receptivity. You may think in your mind “I am open to receiving”. Notice how this feels, is
The next part, although it sounds easy, can be challenging in western culture and yet when encouraged can open up a powerful strength. We live in a society that is focussed on independence. As a woman this may show up as being the helper. Our comfort and usefulness seems tied up in being on the giving end of things. Illness or trauma presents an opportunity to put the shoe on the other foot and become the receiver. We can be offered things, treatments, compliments- anything really, and if we are not open and receptive it will not have an impact. The tricky part is that we may not even notice that we are doing it.
Once you are present and still, invite openness and receptivity. You may think in your mind “I am open to receiving”. Notice how this feels, is there resistance? Rather than fighting any resistance just allow it, give it a little listen and just as you did with the guilt, choose to make healing a priority and know that the time for giving and being independent will come again.
These states of mind reinforce the belief that healing is possible, and our beliefs are incredibly powerful.
All healing begins on the inside, by setting the stage at your core you will find that it radiates out into your perceptions and surroundings and the
world around you will also become more still, more open and more conducive to recovery.
Fawna Bews is an author, healer, mom, wife and a co-Director
of a ranch for traumatized boys (www.stampederanchforkids.com). She is also a two time survivor of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and a firm believer in Miracles. Her new ebook “Finding Fawna: Using Cancer for Awakening” is available on Amazon. Find Fawna’s workshops, writings and personal sessions at www.fawnabews.com or connect on Facebook at Fawna Bews Connects.
Your list of to-do’s and life responsibilities are beginning to quickly pile
up and the chatter in your head seems to be getting increasingly louder. Your life is overflowing with activity and the most used word in your vocabulary is “busy”.
You feel anxiety when you wake up in the morning not knowing how you can possibly get it all done. You’re exhausted, feel like you’re going crazy and all you want is for the madness to just stop.
Sound familiar?
Unfortunately, this is a state many of us live in on a daily basis, which is producing a world of full of chaos and disorganization.
We are constantly bombarded with thousands of advertising
messages, pressure to do more and do it faster, and an endless supply of distractions (hello, Facebook).
Your mind is not like a filing cabinet. You cannot store and categorize thoughts in a perfectly packaged colour coded system. They are simply jumbled together in a massive heap leaving us
to sort through them as we try to make sense of it all.
You keep adding and adding to this pile every single day without taking a moment to sift through it and toss out the stuff that you no longer need.
You have in essence become, a thought hoarder.
What’s the solution?
You simply need to stop once in a while and use ancient tools such as yoga and meditation to help bring a little peace to
‘‘Yoga and meditation are like hiring a professional organizer for the mind’’
Take a moment to think of an area in your home that is full of clutter. This could be a spare room, closet, junk drawer, garage or office. Close your eyes and imagine being in this space – perhaps you’re already there.
Listen to your body and notice what you feel when you bring this clutter to your mind. It is most likely a sense of contraction. You may feel your chest get heavier and your breathing begins to quicken.
Now, begin to visualize this cluttered space being completely organized. Loads of blank space, empty shelves, bright light. Everything in its place, a clean slate.
Notice what happens to your body now. Can you feel an expansion? A lightness and instant sense of calm?
Yoga and meditation are like hiring a professional organizer for the mind.
By slowing down your body and making time for stillness, you create space between the many thoughts that occupy your head. You create more space for
joy, for creativity and space for inner peace.
This doesn’t mean you need to run to the nearest yoga studio and sign up for daily classes. You don’t need to run to a cave in India to sit for hours in silence.
Even just 15 minutes a day of focused “nothingness” can dramatically decrease stress and provide an increase in your overall wellbeing.Turn off all technology. Find a comfortable space in your home and simply breathe.
The world isn’t going to stop. In fact, it will only get faster.
It’s up to you to activate the pause button so that you can reduce all the mind clutter and reconnect with your soul.
“Silence is a source of great strength”~ Lao Tzu After a leaving
a six-figure income as a marketing and advertising executive, Jackie travelled to India where she lived in an ashram studying yoga & meditation. This sparked her journey as a spiritual entrepreneur, which soon led to promotional partnerships with Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra.
She is the founder of The Yoga Code™, a ten-step system based on ancient wisdom designed to help reduce the drama and increase the joy in our lives.
Jackie leads a full life as a Mother, Yoga Teacher, Workshop & Retreat Facilitator, Speaker, Writer, Yoga Inspired Life Coach and Conscious Business Coach.
Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013 14
www.livingfengshui.ca
15 Living Breath
Have you noticed that whatever appears to exist in reality actually also exists in a space we call consciousness?
Look around at everything in your home or office. Could any of it exist in the physical world without first existing in someone’s consciousness? This space called consciousness is the source of everything in reality. In fact, consciousness is primary, it is the very ground of our being.
Everything begins with consciousness. What do you hold in your consciousness? What do you believe is real? What do you think is possible? I’ll bet you will find evidence of it in your personal reality. What do you experience in your personal reality? I’ll bet you can find the seeds of it—the source of it—in your own consciousness.
When we form an idea or a belief or an intention, we set into motion the process of creating our personal reality. When we make a conscious decision or choice, when we aspire to accomplish or experience something, when we visualize or imagine something, we lay the foundation for our experience in reality. Thoughts
become things!
Think about this: we decorate our home; we choose the fixtures and the furniture in order to make it a comfortable and pleasurable place to live. Our mind is no different: the thoughts and beliefs we hold are like fixtures and furniture. We have a choice about what to keep and what to clear.
It takes energy to create things, to clear things, to change things, or to make things happen. Where do we get this energy (also called life force, ki, chi, prana, spirit)? We get it from food, water, sunlight, from nature, and other people. But, the most immediate and direct source of energy is the breath!
Whenever consciousness and energy come together something is created. In fact that is the creative process: bringing together consciousness and energy. What is your highest thought? What wonderful and amazing aspiration can you form? What wondrous reality can you envision? What heartfelt intention can you set? Once you identify that, the only thing left is to breathe energy into it.
We are 100% responsible for what happens in us. If we are angry, it is because we have created a space for anger and we are generating the energy of anger. If we feel peaceful, it is because we are creating a space for—and generating the energy of—peace. It is the same for fear, freedom, joy, confusion, and every other experience in reality.
We can use our breathing to create a sense of spaciousness within us, and we can use it to generate energy. We can use our breathing to relax and let
‘‘When we form an idea or a belief or an intention, we set into motion the process of creating our personal
reality.’’
go into a space of freedom and safety, of peace and power, of love and peace and joy. We can use our breathing to radiate these energies and to create the same bright loving space around us.
Do it now!
Breathing in, feel yourself expand from side to side, front to back, top to bottom. You are creating a space and you are generating energy within you. Breathing out, allow that energy and that space to expand and that energy to radiate out like rays of the sun. Breathing in, feel the actual physical sensations of expansion in your body. Breathing out, imagine yourself continuing to expand beyond your body. Infuse each breath with a conscious intention, and breathe life into your intention.
Dan Brulé is a modern day teacher and healer, a world-renown pioneer in the field of Breathwork, one of the originators of Breath Therapy, and leader of the worldwide Spiritual Breathing movement. He is a master
of Prana Yoga (the Hindu Science of Breath), and of Chi Kung/Qigong (Chinese Medical Breathing Exercises). More than 70,000 people in over 40 countries now apply Dan’s breathing exercises and techniques in their work and in their lives.
What a simple thing: using our breath to create a space within and to fill that space with the energy of love and joy and peace! It’s a good to focus on your heart space while you breathe, because the heart naturally and automatically radiates the energy we generate out into the world around us.
Good luck in your practice.
May you always live in a space of freedom and safety!
May you always be filled with and surrounded by love and peace and joy!
www.livingfengshui.ca
17 contemporary magazine month 20XX
Living Connected
17 Living connected
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Living Connected
“Within you there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself”~ Herman Hesse
Inner guidance is available to all of us. We simply need to hold the space, remain still and quiet, and allow our selves to be heard.
18Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
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19 contemporary magazine month 20XX19 Living Your paSSion
Listen Up!Hearing your Heart’s Desire
I’m a mediocre meditator; perhaps even an emotional meditator. I only sit down to still my crazy monkey mind when things aren’t going so well. Why does it take illness and frustration, poverty and depression to get me to be still? Rev. Michael Beckwith from Agape Spiritual Center once said that, “you will come to meditation either willingly or totally exhausted.” I am totally exhausted by always choosing the latter.
I decided at seven years old I was going to be an actor but this nonsensical dream was utterly rejected by my parents. The “no” messages screamed in my ear, even as I ascended to theatrical milestones including graduate school at Harvard University and soaring straight to Off-Broadway! Unfortunately when I was a teen my father died and financial stability died with him, and my mother was incapable of empowering any of her six children. So even though I KNEW deep in my heart the theatre was my unique way of sharing my gifts with the world, and no matter how much I persisted, insisted and endured, no matter my successes and accomplishments, the “no” messaging eventually won and I slipped into a coma of doubt.
Thus the inevitable search for “my purpose” began, taking me down every rabbit hole further and further away from my true knowing. Every few years I would dabble in something new asking, “Is this my life path?” One year I learned of the beautiful practice of Homeopathy and on the very same day I signed on the dotted line and paid a hefty tuition, one of the plays I had written was acknowledged in a competition. “A Magical Midnight” was the fifth place winner with a grand prize of $50. I instantly experienced superhero skills of dancing on the ceiling, leaping over tall buildings and radiating the superpower of pure bliss! If I had only been conscious enough to truly see and feel that moment, perhaps I wouldn’t have spent the next year studying Homeopathy and suffering from vertigo.
It only took me another seven years, when the vertigo returned, spinning me right into my bed, to finally “be still.” Along the journey, another amazing field of study was Feng Shui and I was preparing to sign up for yet another Feng Shui training. At this point in my life, inspired by a teacher’s suggestion, I was meditating somewhat regularly. I set the clock 15 minutes earlier and worked out later in the day, making space for time with my inner knower. When early one morning a question rose from deep within, “what is this vertigo about?” the answer came swiftly and confidently. “If I sign up for this training, I am moving further away from my dream.”
Lights flashed, bells clanged, whistles, well, whistled, the angels cheered and the sun broke through a gray Colorado winter sky. Okay none of that actually happened, but it did indeed feel like the epiphany of a lifetime. My dream had finally claimed me! My dream was tired of being ignored and was demanding to be seen, heard, experienced, and expressed!
Oh sh*t! Now what? Knowing your dream doesn’t make the first step easy! I was almost paralysed with fear, pushing me to crawl again to the couch. When I finally “shut up” I am so purely guided that I cry with gratitude. Instead of filling the emptiness and defaulting into another training program, I stopped and allowed the epiphanies to wash over me: No one was going to rescue me … no one could do this for me… if I wanted a career in the theatre I had to choose it … and then “move my feet” as Mother Theresa would say. Even irregular meditation has helped me find my way back to the theatre. Can you imagine what a regular practice would help me create? So often I impulsively leap instead of taking a baby step; leaping feels like I am making headway even if straight into a brick wall. A baby step in the other direction usually gracefully manifests what’s in my heart. Rev. Michael has often said, “Don’t just do something, sit there!” A paradigm changer for sure!
Meditation shows up in many ways for me. Last night I went for a long roller blade in Washington Park, just me and the wind as dusk wrapped itself around me. I had a good long think as I rolled around for 40 minutes. Swimming has become a great source of meditation because truth be told, swimming is so boring! Yoga, hiking, taking my cat out for a walk… yes, I’m the cat lady and my Lincoln loves to be outside. Without any claws I can’t let him off on his own, so we share a good long stroll together, he sniffing the world, me going into my inner world.
As I continue to say yes to my true heart’s desire, more prizes for writing have been awarded and a new business idea has emerged almost effortlessly. Along with directing more theatre here in Denver, I also use all of my skills as a writer, director and performer and inspire entrepreneurs in their creative marketing! I am now sharing what I feel I never received: support, encouragement and a million yes’s for following your passion!
After receiving a BFA in the Performing Arts, Nicolette Vajtay, went on to complete her graduate studies
in Acting and Directing at Harvard University and a conservatory program with one of the top professional theatres in the US, The American Repertory Theatre Company. She then “pounded the pavement” from New York City to Los Angeles for 20+ years and is now a multiple award wining playwright, a professional director, has performed in over 100 stage plays and may be seen in several commercials, TV shows and independent films.
21 Living Your paSSion
Along the way, Nicolette also studied self empowerment, Feng Shui, and spirituality. After listening to her inner guidance, she is combining her knowledge to help others express their passions through speaking and video.
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1 SitFor some of us, movement is an avoidance technique. in order to get present with our thoughts and feelings, be still. if you really must move, then move very slowly and to nowhere in particular.
2 Breathetuning in to the breath slows the mind, giving you something to focus on. pay attention to how you breathe. do you breathe deeply from the belly, or shallowly from the chest. Feel the air as it moves through the body cavity, and in and out through the nose. do not try to change the breath, simply watch it.
3 tune innow begin to notice your body. Slowly scan the body, noticing and releasing any areas of tension.
4 Bring your thought to mindgently, bring your self-limiting belief to mind. For example, if the critical belief is that you cannot do something because ______ bring that thought gently to mind.
5 Feel where that belief residesnow, check back into the body and see where that thought resides. where do you feel tension now? allow the feeling to reside their for a time. hold it in your attention. does it bring up emotion? allow any emotion to be released. do not judge it, simply observe it and allow it to dissipate.
6 ask yourself...ask yourself if this thought is really true? can you be sure? no thought is absolutely true. ask yourself if this thought needs to continue to influence you. if so, thank it for being a part of your experience. if not -
7 replace or re-frame the thoughtreplace your self limiting thought with one that is more helpful, more self nourishing and true to your current life.
Some examples:
“Thank you for bringing me many opportunities to embrace my true gifts and passions”
“I now move toward my desires without fear”
“I am here to express my true self and do so without reservation”
7 Steps to Hush
Your Inner Critic
It seems that all of us have an inner critic. That little voice that says “you can’t do that
because...”
But that little voice is just serving to limit your experience. If you are ready to be free from its influence, you can choose to release it, and silence that critic once and for all.
This easy 7 step process can move you quickly from self limiting to self affrming.
Try it!
Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
www.livingfengshui.ca
23 contemporary magazine month 20XX23 Living BaLanced
The Courage to Let Perfect Go!Being a joyful, successful
human, as it turns out, is not rooted in the pursuit of perfect.
I used to live the “perfect” single-gal life with a super-cool marketing career where I strived to be perfect all the time. When I lost the joy and it became an ill-fit career, I took a five-year journey to find the courage to let my “perfect life” go.
I became a mom 10 years ago and I began to understand that seeking perfect was a roadblock to joy. I realized the key to excellence and happiness was, in part, in letting the “I am flawed” flag fly.
I began to co-exist joyfully as a full-time mom to three daughters while also growing my successful marketing business about five years ago. People often ask me how I do it.
I won’t say it is easy. I believe that challenge is rooted in how we interpreted our mothers’ and grandmothers’ fight for us to have it all. Hello!!! We interpreted that as we should do it all? Stop the madness. That makes no sense and fuels perfect misery.
It is not easy to parent and grow a business, but it is extremely joyful when perfectionism is replaced with some realistic “I can have it all but not all at once” truths and guidelines.
1. Actions over ideas. Act strategically one step or one leap at a time (either pace is fine). But know success always comes from actions on good thoughts, not thoughts themselves.
2. Strive for flow around a well-planned family and business calendar. Your work time MUST be in that calendar. That calendar is a very important guideline, but it will never rule because someone always gets sick and needs you. Always.
3. Know balance is a myth. You are not a princess (or prince). You are the court jester and juggler. You are a businessperson with kids. There is no balance in going with the flow.
4. Don’t hide the kids. Pretending you don’t have kids to your clients or customers is exhausting. Be professional, but don’t hide the truth.
10 Truths to Imperfectly Grow a Great Business & Raise Kids ’
5. Know your values. Know what really matters most and write it down. All decisions are good decisions when you use your values as the litmus test for what to do.
6. While fireworks and grand slam successes are appealing, slow down the bus a bit. Businesses that grow slow and steady with healthy doses of sizzle every once in awhile can be businesses with a solid foundation for future growth.
7. Choose wisely with whom you want to work. Every person you have in your life deserves your focus. The more people you try to help, the less of you there is to share (with your kids). Choose higher quality relationships over quantity so you can be fully present to those in your life.
8. Create one clear focus for what you stand for and what you sell, then grow a few revenue streams from a central, solid footing that appeals most to your fans.
9. Embrace mistakes. Take calculated risks and know mistakes are golden nuggets of insight for faster and better decisions next time.
10. Know what you actually have as resources. Know you can grow with anything if used wisely. Use the 7 Essential Resources™ -- time, money, energy, passion, technical skill, knowledge and network – to honestly assess what you can invest in your business. Success and joy grow in truth.
Let go of perfect parenting so your children know amazing happens even when sloppy, late, angry, sad, hormonal, “too busy”. Model being joyfully normal.
Crave Joy. Let Perfect Go
Let go of perfect in business so you can act faster with creativity, innovation and the insight that mistakes are magical and flaws are endearing.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~
Anais Nin
Have the courage to let go of perfect so you can create space for a joyful, successful life that flows around the realities of raising great kids while growing a meaningful business. It is worth the journey.
Kim Page Gluckie is a marketing consultant, workshop creator,
public speaker and business catalyst with a quirky skill to rapidly filter the fluff, fuel the fireworks and stimulate the light bulb moments that help small business owners get on with their growth.
Kim helps entrepreneurs quickly connect the dots between their dreams and their success with practical, modern strategies that make sense.
With a tenacious focus on making every moment matter, Kim passionately shares what she has learned growing her own business, MPowered Marketing, while also raising 3 young daughters in the past 5 years.
We all have maps {beliefs, values, defences, issues, preferences, patterns, thoughts} that originate from our parents,
teachers, coaches, priests, culture, and history.
Do this. Value that. Like these things. Think like this. Avoid him. Pursue her. Eat this. Wear that. Feel this. Say that.
Sometimes our maps serve us well. Often they do not.
In the beginning, our lives are supported by the maps of others – it’s how we navigate the strange new world around us and survive. At some point a little further into the journey, it’s necessary for us to create space to craft our own maps, to draft our own path.
The dominant map is to go to school, get a job, find love, buy a house, have kids -- we’re all conscious of that basic life plan that our culture tries to siphon us into.
The unconscious maps are less obvious, and they are different for each of us. Here are a few that I commonly see in the people I work with :
• It’s not safe to be my true self because I might be rejected.
• I don’t deserve to have {love, success, abundance, attention, respect}.
• I’m not {good, beautiful, smart, pretty, thin, strong} enough.
• I must sacrifice what matters to me to make others happy and to be approved of.
• In order to be successful I must be {more educated, younger, older, smarter}.
• I’ll be happy when {my kids listen to me, I get divorced, my boss respects me, I get the promotion, I lose the weight}.
The maps you carry at the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious levels of your mind are based on your history. As children, we inherit our maps from our mothers and fathers, our teachers and coaches, and any other influential role models in our young lives.
As adults, our minds are filled with maps composed dead ideas and lifeless beliefs that do not belong to us. They are burdensome, yet still we cling to them. We walk through our lives according to the maps that were created by others.
“As adults, our minds are filled with maps composed of dead ideas and lifeless beliefs that do not belong to us.”
By becoming conscious of the maps that were given to us long ago, we can learn to create a more truthful map – one that guides us in the direction of a well lived life. Creating space for consciousness allows for a soulful awakening.
When a part of your soul wakes up to the truth that your map does not accurately represent the life you want to live, then creating space to redesign a more modern, more authentic map becomes a requirement.
I became conscious of one of my outdated maps recently and it totally shattered my world. But in the shards of my life, a new map – more accurate, more meaningful – emerged.
This discomfort of this calling can be extreme.
The confusion of redefining your existence can be profound.
The uncertainty of what’s truthful can be paralysing.
The ache to return to the comfortable & familiar is an enticing pull, but following it will only prolong suffering. As painful as it is, bursting into your new world complete with new maps is the most soulfully satisfying action that can be taken.
Here’s how you can create a new map :
1. Pay attention to your intuition & listen to it.
2. Notice your instincts & follow them. 3. Reflect & dive into the meaning of your wildest dreams.
4. Let your soul take the lead.
5. Follow what pulls you rather than pushing yourself into the “right” choice.
6. Be open to redefining everything you thought you knew.
The truth is, as you begin to develop your maps based on what your soul wants – not your culture, your family, or your ego – you step more fully into your best life.
Your soul knows the way to a fulfilling life of meaning. Trust it.
“All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.”~ earl Nightingale
Gemma Stone is a Psychologist,
Coach, Speaker and Guide. She loves working with women who are ready to heal the past, love the present, and light up the future. “I fight for your happiness, health, and success by combining the science of psychology with the power of spirituality to create a personalized concoction of transformative tools.”
www.livingfengshui.ca
27 contemporary magazine month 20XX
Live Large... With Less
27 Living Free
Dreams really can come true. If you nurture the space for them.
It was October 2, 2010. My husband and my one and half year old daughter and I were moving from Canada to Costa Rica! We packed what was left of our personal belongings into 10 hockey bags and off we went. Throughout the 9 month process in deciding to move to Costa Rica, we heard all kinds of things from our friends and family, such as, “You guys are crazy, you don’t even know spanish...what about school?...what about health care?...what about work?...how can you leave your “perfect” lives in Canada?”.
I can see the perception of us having perfect lives; we had a healthy and beautiful daughter, we had built our dream house months prior on a beautiful piece of land, we had 3 successful yoga studios, a successful landscaping company and a rental property. We spent hours searching for amazing pieces of art and furniture. Then one day, I had a light bulb moment. I thought; “Why am I doing what I love to fill my enormous house
with possessions?” At this time, I was really into Yoga History and Philosophy and it was very important to me to live what I teach. I felt teaching yoga and hoarding all of my material possessions was in direct conflict with what I was teaching - to be
authentic, and to live free from attachment.
So how did we make the leap? Well, it was easy! I had the idea to leave that life behind and move to Costa Rica to open a retreat centre focussing on yoga, healing and transformation. Luckily, my husband was on board with my crazy idea! The day he agreed was the day I started selling our belongings. It felt so free to unload countless items of furniture, nick-nacks, clothes, shoes, paintings...
Here we sit, 3 years later at our Retreat Centre: Peace Retreat Costa Rica. We are doing it! It hasn’t all been sunny days and
long walks on the beach. We have definitely had our challenges, but we stayed true to our intention and it is working.
We are living our dream. We (all three of us) are so happy in our now 500 square foot house (down-sizing from our Canadian house of 6000 square feet). Our furniture consists of 2 hammock chairs, a large hammock and a wood table. We love it!
We spend our time here at Peace Retreat Costa Rica facilitating our own Real Evolution Yoga Teacher Trainings, Personal Retreats, Yoga, Surf, Personal Healing & Cleansing, Meditation and Weight Loss Retreats.
So, I will close with this: Listen to your heart. Create an intention that aligns with your heart and express it! Keep expressing and sharing it until it comes true. Add a drop of perseverance and there you have it - your dream will come true too.
Much love and many blessings.
Hali McQuillan
By HaLi MCQuiLLan
www.realevolutionyoga.com
“Create an intention that aligns with your heart and express it!”
Holistic Lifestyle Coach. In 2007, Hali founded three yoga studios in Canada, launched the Inspirational Yoga Teacher Training, and began co-teaching workshops and teacher trainings with her husband, Kevin, in Canada, the U.S., and Costa Rica.
In 2010, Hali, Billie and Kevin left Canada and moved to Costa Rica to open the Peace Retreat Centre.
Hali is co-founder of Real Evolution Yoga, a unique blend of yoga, transformation and somatic methodologies and a powerful vehicle for generating new possibilities and achieving profound results.
29 contemporary magazine month 20XX29 Living KnowLedge
By jaMeS jaywww.fengshuidesigns.com
Throughout Chinese history there have always been people who preferred to live lives of solitude in the mountains. These so-
called “hermits” were highly regarded and honored as people who have devoted their lives to self cultivation and meditation. It’s no wonder why the Gen (pronounced gun) gua has been associated with knowledge and self cultivation in the Feng Shui Bagua. In fact if we look at the Gen trigram we see that it is represented by one yang line above two yin lines. That is one solid line above two broken lines. It’s characteristic or image is that of a Mountain.
If we look a bit closer at the Gun trigram we see that the top yang line represents the top of the mountain and the two yin lines represent a cave within the mountain. So we correlate this trigram with knowledge because in ancient times if one wanted to develop him or herself and achieve enlightenment, one needed to go to the mountain to achieve perfection.
The concept of the mountain cave and stillness is also an important part of the Yi Jing (I Ching) or the “Book of Changes.” Hexagram
52 is comprised of two trigrams; Gen over Gen or Mountain over Mountain and symbolizes keeping still and meditation. Without stillness we cannot have advancement. So being still and centered actually gives us a strong foundation for growth. In “The Book of Changes and the Unchanging Truth” author Hua Ching Ni writes “The virtue of a Mountain is its stillness. Growth is generated and maintained without strain. Unlike a Mountain, human life is not permanently established unless people know the virtue of stillness. Since they do not know when to stop unnecessary activity, they continue to follow overly active desires and thus their organs and senses eventually become exhausted.”
In today’s world we are constantly bombarded with information, stimulation, distractions and entertainment. It’s unavoidable as it comes from everywhere; television, the internet, social sharing and social
interaction. It is impossible to escape therefore many of us are left feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. This is where enhancing the Gen gua can help to bring stillness, calm and satisfaction to our lives.
So this begs the question “How can one enhance the Gen gua to increase inner development and intuition?” First it is important to locate the area represented by the Gen gua. In some schools of Feng Shui the Gen gua is located in the NE corner of a building. In other approaches it is located in the left-hand corner of the wall containing
the main entrance. Whichever approach you choose, one way you can enhance the area is by utilizing the Five Element theory. In Feng Shui there are Five important Elements; Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water. How they interact with one another determines whether an area is enhanced or diminished. The Gen gua or “Knowledge Corner” is represented by the Element Earth. So we can enhance it by using items, colors or shapes that would be enhancing to Earth. Earth is most enhanced by Fire. When Fire burns it creates ash which becomes Earth. So, in practical terms, one can simply bring the Fire Element into the Knowledge Corner to support and create Earth and in turn, contribute to one’s inner development.
Enhancing Knowledge can be as simple as bringing in the color red (color of Fire) or something that represents Fire. For example, bringing in a red rug or artwork with the color red will evoke the Fire Element. Even if one is not spiritual, enhancing the Gen gua will increase one’s sense of calm and stability. Since many of us are primarily concerned with our finances, our relationships and family, the Knowledge area is often overlooked. But by enhancing the Gen gua we can support all other aspects of our lives and help us achieve the things we all want; health, abundance and a good life.
Adding Feng Shui enhancements to the area of our homes that represent inner knowledge, can create spaces that nurture our own self-knowledge. One easy way is to add the fire element to your home
For over 20 years James Jay along
with his wife Helen has been training Feng Shui Professionals through the CFSP - Certified Feng Shui Professional Training Program developed exclusively by the Jays. Hundreds of Feng Shui consultants around the globe have begun their successful Feng Shui careers with the Jay’s programs which they have taught throughout the United States, Belgium, Spain, Mexico and China since 1993. See a complete catalog of their programs at www.fengshuidesigns.com.
As founders of ChinaStudies “Adventure in Education”, the Jays have sponsored a variety of educational training programs in China since 1997 on topics such as; Traditional & B.T.B. Feng Shui, Acupressure / Tui Na Massage, Cuisine of China, and Acupuncture & Herbal Medicine. They have led groups to all of the Sacred Mountains throughout China since 1997 and are considered among the top world experts on China travel.
Fire elementsThe fire element can be added to any environment using pyramidal shapes, actual fire, like candles or fireplaces, or the color red.
31 contemporary magazine month 20XX31 Living happY
By TraCy Makarenkowww.healingpossiibilities.com
Everyone can make more space in their life, but conscious thought followed by action is necessary. What is conscious thought? “The quality or state of being aware of an external object or something within oneself.”
Once we add action we move forward. Now the problem with this is many of us are afraid of change. We question what it will look like, that it might take too much effort, and in the end, it probably won’t make a much of a difference anyway. Have any of these questions taken up space in your mind?
They plagued me for years! Stopping me from really living my dream, actually from finding out what my dream even was! My life was an overwhelming mess. It felt like I hadn’t stopped to breath in years. Space needed to happen so I could ground and centre again. I can now reflect back and recognize that mess was my own creation. But getting out of something when you are so overwhelmed can be a difficult process.
I found relief though alternative healing modalities like Breathwork, Reiki, and CranioSacral Therapy.
The first step was to make time for myself. My body craved physical activity so I started cycling early in the
morning before my family woke up – I didn’t want to interrupt their schedule. One morning I slept a little later than usual, but decided to go anyway. When I returned home everyone was awake and no one had noticed I was missing. First there was anger – how could they not notice I was missing, I am their world! Reality was my husband and children had become my number one priority. It was only my belief system that had me thinking they solely relied on me to get through their day. Wow was my ego full of itself! What a discovery, I didn’t need to be responsible for everyone’s well-being! This awareness was larger than life. Within an instance space opened up in my mind, I now had additional time to think about what I wanted.
With this new found freedom I decided that my family could survive without me for an entire weekend and registered for a workshop. Guilt lingered in my mind, this wasn’t an hour, but two days. I had lied to myself about my family needing so much of me, so I convinced myself that more self-awareness would only enhance me and my family would benefit from this change. The guilt slowly dissipated, then released completely! It was a magical weekend! My emotional state was set free while doing Breathwork! I had inundated myself with so much emotional baggage it was a wonder that I wasn’t insane. “How had I coped,” was the
thought I now considered after the weekend was complete. My mind started to dream, my emotions were at a completely manageable state, and I now had… time. By opening space in my life I could now truly live. It was a new experience. I had been following my “to-do list” for so long, now there were no rules.
I still had responsibilities, but with the holistic healing treatments my life was now enjoyable. I’d entered a higher level of conscious awareness that continued to make me want more, made me be more, action was no longer feared and change became a natural part of my being.
Conscious thought followed with action saved my life. For me I was attracted to Holistic Healthcare, for you, well only you know where your conscious thought will take you. This will only happen if you take a chance and allow change to occur. Positive life changing events will happen when you are true to yourself. I found my purpose and many benefits followed. I’ve hosted my own radio show and will soon become a published author. I have experienced change and it has benefited me. Take action today and find your true purpose – your passion!
T racy Makarenko is an Intuitive Healer with over twenty-five courses
supporting her practice. She has written many articles on the subject and hosted a weekly radio show delivering the same message. She created the workshop, Healing from the Outside, In, which compliments her book Moving from the Outside, In - in bookstores soon. Tracy believes that whole body wellness is an intimate and complex connection between spirit, mind and body and she strives to help others attain it. She lives in Okotoks, Canada with her husband, where they raised their two daughters.
www.livingfengshui.ca
33 contemporary magazine month 20XX
Living Spaces
33 Living SpaceS
3434Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
The Universe holds you in it’s loving embrace, cradles you, supports you. The spaces where you spend the most time should be just as divine. They should reflect your desires, reinforce your aspirations and embrace your very soul. They should allow you to live stress free, offer the room to grow, and nurture your creativity.
www.livingfengshui.ca
35 contemporary magazine month 20XX35 Living intentionaLLY
Your home is a mirror of your life, a reflection of you. Sit with that for just a second. Consider the implications. Then ask
yourself some questions.What about my life is being
reflected back to me? Do I like what I see? Am I seeing beauty, calm and love, or am I seeing chaos, disorder and neglect? Are my living spaces telling the Universe about the things that are most important to me? Or are they telling the
Creating Intentional Spaces
Universe that my dreams, goals and priorities come last?
There are lots of different types of Feng Shui. Some traditions use complicated formulas and birth charts while some are more
intuitive. All are intended to place you, the human, in the most beneficial environment, a place where you are positioned to take advantage of the forces of both Heaven and Earth.
So how can you do that right now, without the advice of a trained professional?
You can start by simply making sure that what you see is what you really desire out of life. You can create an intentional space, one that more accurately reflects your dreams and aspirations.
Your mind believes what it sees. Your heart believes what it feels.
Consider your home as a giant three-dimensional vision board. Choose to surround yourself with colors, items and images that reflect your highest aspirations for your life. Find ways to make it look as though you are already living the life that you envision for yourself. Want to travel? Decorate with items from far away places. Surround yourself with visual clues and reminders of your dream destinations. Make it seem as though you’ve been there, feel into the dream. Be sure that any item beyond the useful and necessary evokes positive emotion. You must
love your home for it to love you back.
By creating an intentional home, you are reversing the mirror. You are asking your life to reflect your home, rather than the other way around. Is it a parlor trick? It may seem that way, at first. But the reason that magic can fool us is because our minds cannot easily distinguish between reality and illusion.
While this is a simplified way to use Feng Shui, it is a powerful way to engage the Law of Attraction. When you arrange your environment to help you to believe that your life looks a certain way, you are activating the law of attraction in your physical spaces. You are using things that remind you of your goals to induce positive feelings. When you feel good, when your vibration or chi is raised, good things happen. You are more easily able to tap into the forces of Heaven and Earth.
Mia Staysko is a Professional
Feng Shui Consultant and Interior Designer. Through her company, White Lotus Interiors, she helps people to create spaces that support their bodies, and their souls. Providing professional and comprehensive Feng Shui and Design Consultations for individuals and for businesses, Mia helps clients to transform their lives and their spaces through conscious design.
Mia is the founding Director of the Sacred Lotus School of Feng Shui. She is Secretary, Education Director and a Red Ribbon Professional member of the International Feng Shui Guild.
“Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.”~ earl Nightingale
37 contemporary magazine month 20XX37 Living creativeLY
SoulSpaceTucked in the back corner
of my very grown up art studio space is a very sweet, and very not so grown up, children’s
desk-chair. You may know the kind? Circa 1950’s - little drawer with pull handle that slides under the seat. The solid wood desktop, slanted just so, complete with pencil groove and all of the carvings, stains, and chips of a long and well-served life.
For me it evokes hours of colouring, and playing ‘school’ with my sisters, and was the source of endless fridge
art! I am grateful to my Mom for saving it all those years and I love that it is now utilized in this more public domain. A lot of adults who come into the studio have similar recollections and I watch them get momentarily lost in those youthful memories of nestling into that small but special place that was just for them and just for creating.
More interesting to me however, is how the children that sometimes accompany those adults respond to it. They boldly march right over, wiggle themselves neatly into its little frame, instantly reach for the nearby purple or orange or blue crayon, and with sparkling eyes, implore, “Where’s the paper?” I have observed this enough times now to know that it is more than just the novelty of the old little desk that is igniting them. Kids simply get that it is a necessary, if not obligatory, birthright for them to have their very own place to just be and create, and they are thrilled for it!
In attending to this desire for our children to express and create we significantly alter the spaces in our
environment. The kitchen table surface may not be revealed for years under all the finger- paint and play dough. Family heirlooms are swapped out for tins of markers and bins of Lego in the living room credenza. And you only have to peek in any kindergarten classroom to know that art centres are intrinsic to any child’s educational space. We know that providing areas for children to play and create is essential for their souls. So why do we make it so unessential for our own?
Eventually the easels are moved out to make way for rows of desks, and art becomes just an option or something you may have to sign up for on weekends at a recreation centre. “Real life” starts to take over and we begin to judge and perceive our making as unworthy. We meticulously organize our homes and often make space for everything but those crayons and blank sheets of paper.
But somewhere inside all of us there is an inner artist; an impassioned child; a craving to express our essential humanness. And this desire requires there to be a physical space to do so. Just search ‘‘artist studios’’ on Pinterest to get an idea! It could be a bed tray over your lap, a basement bedroom, or a warehouse in Soho, but the children that unabashedly take over my little desk in the corner know this to be true and will always seek out the space that is essential for our souls.
Wouldn’t it be great to feel the joy of that little wooden seat beneath you again, to have a clean desktop with a groove to hold your favourite purple crayon? Would your eyes light up and would you feel lighter and happier to be making something just for you and the just for the joy of it? We all need a little vintage desk-chair space in our lives, maybe just a tiny bit bigger!
Michelena Bambford’s entrepreneurial spirit led her to create businesses that
enable her to share her love of nature and art. Her local, sustainable décor business, Rocky Mountain Wreaths, brings the beauty of our surroundings to peoples doorsteps and paved the way for her to open Wolf Willow Studio in 2013. This beautiful, vintage inspired space specializes in mosaic art and collaborative offerings all designed to feed our souls. Having this sacred creative space is a dream come true for a girl that lives with four boys and a menagerie of pets!
1 Make it SacredWhen we give something loving respect, and appreciation, it always returns to us tenfold. Your artist soul deserves to be honored as a special and important part of your life that needs its own space. Find one spot in your home, make it clear and beautiful for the time you set aside for yourself. For example, you could move your stuff off your bedside table, light a candle, play inspired music, lock your door, and write some beautiful poetry!
2 Keep it TogetherHow many times have you had the urge to do something creative, lets say paint, but by the time you found your canvas pad from the piles of office stationary, and dug your good paintbrush out from the pen drawer, and then found an old yogurt container for water in the recycling bin, and then reclaimed your cadmium red from the kids craft stuff.... its half an hour later and the inspiration has left or you got distracted by another pile of stuff! Make it easy for your creative soul by stowing your favorite supplies in their own special place and keep it accessible only to you. Try a mid sized rubbermaid bin or basket that can easily slide in and out under your bed.
3 Practice makes PerfectHumans seem to thrive on ritual. Like everything else, you have to schedule and practice taking the time for things to become healthily habitual. Remember when you were learning to brush your teeth? Feels weird at first, you often had to be reminded, but after a while, it becomes this really good and necessary thing you can’t imagine living without. So you may not think of creating as hygienic, but your soul requires maintenance too! You can start slow, maybe its reasonable to take one hour every two weeks, but I promise, if you consistently make space for your soul art I guarantee you will soon have your own travel kit!
Mic’s top tips for carving out some creative soul space in your
home
www.livingfengshui.ca
39 contemporary magazine month 20XX39 Living wiSdom
What would you do if your grown daughter died suddenly in a headline-making
car accident? Would your first instinct be to move your furniture?
This was the seemingly unexplainable choice for one remarkable woman. Immediately after the funeral, she moved her beds, desks, and chairs to all places unimaginable—her reading chair to face a dark corner, her bed floating in front of her bedroom door, and the guest bed in a hallway. I had to step around a crusty old patio chair as I entered the front door. Instantly, I heard the whispers of my teacher, “If you are depressed, despairing, or simply out of luck, move your furniture.” Somehow, my client and I were already on the same page—and now science has an explanation.
In the words of neurobiologist Fred Gage, “Changes in the environment change the brain, and therefore they change our behaviour.” After settling in for my overnight stay (in the hallway), the grieving mother
expressed relief. Having moved everything, and with everything now “in place,” she could relax. I was stunned, for, truly, everything was out of place, and I expected tears. It was a mystery waiting to be solved.
For 28 years I have watched changes in our environments change our minds, thus our thoughts, language, and actions. If we get the change right, the texture of life changes. It is as if a veil has
been lifted—a burden removed—and we are suddenly allowed to do what we are meant to do as human beings. In this case, to grieve the loss of a daughter. This courageous woman, on this day, needed to be uncomfortable—to live with things out of place and feel the pain. She got the changes just right, and the healing began that evening. She was open and able to feel the richness of her life and loss.I had the privilege of watching an
By kaTHerine MeTzwww.katherinemetz.com
ancient wisdom technique become a living experience, and I learned the secret of my teacher’s wise advice to “move the furniture.” It is the change that creates the healing, not the perfect placement. The shift is sometimes dramatic, often subtle, but always profound. We are beginning to understand why.
Research is making it possible to analyze how the brain is affected and changed by our environments. Science has now shown that
if items in the environment are moved, removed, or added every few days, there can be a 15 percent increase in the birth of new neurons, especially in the hippocampus—the area of the brain that processes new information. In a stimulating environment, the capacity to add new memories and learn new skills is greatly enhanced.
Somehow my client knew this
A Perfectly
This courageous woman, on this day, needed to be uncomfortable—to live with things out of place and feel the pain.
without knowing, and with my support, developed a rich and on-going interaction with her environment. When the final item was returned to its favorite place (two years later), she was ready and wide-awake to new possibilities. Moving beyond the limits of conventional thought and action, she healed from the heart of her knowing.
Those of us who practice Feng Shui cross these boundaries often. We dare to stand with artists and scientists to explore and shape the reality that exists beyond the comprehension of human reason.
Would it help you to move something today?
I stomp my feet, a bit playfully, when we miss an opportunity to step into
the unknown to solve a problem. I have seen the scent of flowers save a life, and the repetition of a mantra break the spell of a debilitating fear. To my students around the world, I say “thank you.” Your devotion to looking deeply – beyond the rational mind – is a constant reminder to me that the future will blend disparate thoughts and ideas. We will create and sustain a new conversation—one that makes friends of science and the transcendental. Katherine Metz, The Art of Placement
41 contemporary magazine month 20XX41 Living uncLuttered
Roadblocks to Happiness
As a Feng Shui consultant, I find myself addressing the issue of clutter on a daily basis, but not for the reasons you may think.
There is a long-standing myth that insinuates Feng Shui is simply about moving your furniture and eliminating clutter to create a happy, balanced life. While it is true that Feng Shui requires the Chi (energy) to flow easily, meandering like a river through our space, each item in the home, seen or unseen, tells a story and holds a small piece of your personal energy hostage in the past. Clutter disrupts this harmonious flow, creating stumbling blocks and stagnation on every level, but more importantly, clutter keeps our story anchored in the past, depleting us of infinite possibilities and paralysing our momentum to move forward in life.
Do you have “stuff” or does your “stuff”
have you?In Feng Shui, clutter is viewed as an invitation to clear and release issues on the emotional, mental and physical level. Fortunately (or not!), from a Feng Shui perspective there is nowhere to hide and EVERYTHING counts! Clutter takes many forms. Physical clutter, the most widely recognized and mainstream version of clutter has become so widespread that there are whole TV shows dedicated to the epidemic of too much “stuff” (Hoarders, Clean Sweep, Extreme Clutter, Enough Already!, etc.). Physical clutter (stuffed closets, junk drawers, overloaded basements, garages with no room for cars) affects our bodies on a chronic, subtle level and one study at UCLA found that just looking at clutter elevated women’s stress hormones! Clutter is extremely Yin and lowers our personal Chi, causing our bodies and our mental clarity to be out of balance. Physical clutter can also manifest in the home’s inhabitants as symptoms of depression, exhaustion, anxiety, congestion, digestive issues, tumors, indecisiveness or stagnant energy-- you feel stuck, blocked, drained.
I have had countless opportunities to listen objectively as my clients explain or justify how the clutter has accumulated to a point of overwhelm or alternatively, they’ve stopped
“seeing” their clutter at all. Clutter can be defined as anything that lowers your energy, holds negative or toxic memories or anything that is broken, unused or unloved. In my experience, all clutter can be traced back to guilt trips, boundary issues or a mentality of lack. I have also found that the location of physical clutter in the home is very symbolic and reflects the life struggles of the client.
Our energetic and physical bodies feel subconsciously uncomfortable as the clutter causes chaos on a cellular level. The negative health effects of clutter may seem like a far-fetched correlation, yet I have seen it time and again with my clients. A male client called for a healthy home and Feng Shui analysis to remedy or support his battle with Sarcoidosis, a condition that creates “clusters or collections of abnormal cells” in the lungs that can cause difficulty breathing, exhaustion and a multitude of other symptoms. By utilizing the Bagua (Feng Shui energy map) to assess his home, we found that his garage was unnavigable with dusty clutter stacked from floor to ceiling. The garage was cited in the Helpful People gua, which correlates to the Father and the Metal Element (which rules the lungs and respiratory problems). By eliminating the massive amounts of clutter and thoroughly cleaning the garage all symptoms were completely relieved and his health was greatly improved within a matter of weeks.
1 ClosetsStifled issues, weight issues, hidden issues that need forgiveness
3 Desk Limiting beliefs related to success
4 Under the Beda feeling of being “stuck” overall in life, insomnia, low energy
5 Basementanchored to the past, basements represent our foundation & subconscious mind
6 Atticissues with the head, clarity of thoughts, focus, spiritual connection, anxiety, worry about the future
7 Garagea feeling of isolation, disconnection and lack of support
Where you stuff your stuff may offer clues to your inner struggles and your personality!
42Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
www.livingfengshui.ca
43 contemporary magazine month 20XX
Water TypesClutter dealing with subconscious emotions; storing clutter for family (boundary issues), loads of self-help books and basement clutter
Wood TypesClutter related to issues of control; excess books, stacks of paperwork, disorganized files
Fire TypesClutter related to issues of discernment; letters/mementoes from ex-flames and computer clutter
earth TypesClutter related to connection; sentimental clutter and items kept out of guilt (kids’ art, unwanted gifts from family or friends), cluttered pantries
Metal TypesClutter caused by perfectionist tendencies; hidden clutter. everything looks perfect in your space until you open closets and drawers
Each of us express all 5 of the Chinese Elements
within our personalities. At times of stress, one or two may become imbalanced or be more predominant. Looking closely at where your clutter resides can give you some clues about your own elemental balance.
correlation between a client’s personal Element and their default type of clutter, which relates to their emotional state when stressed:
The second, less acknowledged, type of clutter is emotional clutter. Our home is a mirror of our emotional and mental state and the chaos of clutter causes low vitality and fear based living that keeps us tethered to the past. As human beings we all carry some version of emotional clutter, which comfortably resides in our subconscious. While emotional clutter is unseen baggage, its effects are just as disempowering and draining as physical clutter to distract us from our true purpose of living an authentic life.
Emotional clutter can be classified as clutter of the mind-belief systems that no longer serve you or limiting “stories” that distract you, define you and hold you back. There are countless types of emotional baggage: family of origin issues, poverty consciousness, worry, regret, unfinished business, grief, fear, low self esteem, fear, etc. Any outdated belief system, limiting self-perception, unresolved issue or buried emotion accumulates over time and takes its emotional toll on our lives.
Both physical and emotional clutter are intrinsically linked to guilt or the relationships/heart connections in our lives. At a recent consultation, a woman hired me to find love after a divorce. As we toured her home, I noticed a whole room dedicated to honouring her deceased Mother, as well as several photos and portraits of her Mom alone, scattered throughout the
home a symbolic shrine of grief at every turn. As we were completing the initial tour of her home she redirected me away from the basement. “You don’t need to go down there,” she said. Rooms or areas in the home that a client wants to ignore usually offer the most profound revelations. The unfinished basement was overstuffed with furniture, boxes, keepsakes a lifetime of her Mother’s belongings. It felt like an energy vortex of grief, sadness and longing. Basements represent our foundation in life, as well as our subconscious, which scientists believe drives 90% of our choices in life. It was her “A-HA” moment. A heart mired in grief and stuck in the past is closed off to new love and fresh possibilities. At the follow up consultation a few months later, she was revelling in the transformation! Savouring the potential of love with the newfound man in her life, she proudly shared a few beautifully displayed and meaningful reminders of her Mom in the home, which she felt both adequately honoured her Mom and allowed her to move forward.Whether it’s the subtle emotional energy of a single item in our home or the heft of a room stuffed to the gills--the result is blocked energy and stagnation.
The benefits of clearing clutter are palpable and overflow into every area of your life. increased energy and vitality, physical healing, family harmony, reduced stress, weight loss, improved clarity, new ideas, opportunities and freedom can all be expected. From a Feng Shui perspective, clearing clutter improves the Chi flow in the home, creating
43 Living uncLuttered
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As a Feng Shui Expert & Designer, Tanya has
been helping to create positive, supportive and harmonious environments for her clients for the past 16 years. She is certified as an Advanced Feng Shui Consultant and has studied with countless Feng Shui Masters, including Katherine Metz, James Jay and Karen Rauch Carter. Tanya is currently the Membership Director and a Red Ribbon Professional member of the International Feng Shui Guild.
Tanya is passionate about sharing her love of Feng Shui and her light hearted and fun approach takes the fear and superstition out of Feng Shui. It is Tanya’s intention to offer powerful and practical solutions that create tangible changes and unlimited blessings for each client.
44Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
symbolic and literal space for fresh, vibrant energy. All of this translates to increased effectiveness of your Feng Shui adjustments and the realization that you need less to feel satisfied and fulfilled.
Where to Begin?
Start by implementing some Yang cures in the home to counterbalance the Yin of the excess clutter: turn on lights, spray or diffuse uplifting essential oils like orange or lime, turn on your favorite music and invite a friend or two to inspire you and keep you focused. To avoid overwhelm, make de-cluttering a daily practice—even if it’s just 10 minutes to start.
You can determine the priority area to de-clutter by
1) using the Bagua to transform life issues that are stuck, 2) using the Law of Proximity (that which is closest to you has the greatest effect- i.e.-bed, desk, garage) or 3) tackling the area that makes you crazy every time you see it!
Ideas to release clutter from your home & your life:
• donate• clothing swap with friends• sell unwanted items• gift to someone who would love it
You have to get out of your rational mind and be ruthless in deciphering your emotional attachments. Tune in to your body to see how each and every item makes you feel. Do you love it? Do you use it? Does it make you feel good/happy/inspired? Be wildly selfish in your de-cluttering efforts.
Remember you are carving out space for possibilities, potential and growth. May your home be the truest reflection of YOU!
“The more you have, the more you are occupied. The less you have, the more free you are.” ~ Mother Teresa
www.livingfengshui.ca
45 contemporary magazine month 20XX
Q>janelle, i happen to know that you are a practiced and
highly sought after dowser. you help people every day to create spaces that are clear of negative energy. what exactly is dowsing and how do you use it in an interior environment?
a<dowsing is a way of tapping in to ones own energetic
system to read the energy of a place. when i am dowsing a home, i am looking for natural causes of environmental stress. Picture your modern life as sort of like a pressure cooker. as the temperature continually rises, stress builds until you reach a critical boiling point in this pressure cooker of life. How much pressure can you handle?
according to the institute of Science, Technology and Public Policy “90% of disease is caused or complicated by stress”. The more stress you have the higher the chance of illness. There is stress in many life areas as we attempt to navigate life, making ends meet, raising children and holding our relationships together. add to the mix the daily onslaught of hundreds causes of environmental stress that negatively impact people and it is no wonder people in general feel overwhelmed and bombarded by life.
Q>a Janelle harris Borm helps people relieve the pressure of everyday living with the age old practice of dowsing. we asked her about it here.
if you are exposed to geo-stress for long periods of time, it can cause sleep disturbances, learning, and conception issues. Plus, many illnesses and diseases can be triggered as it weakens your immune system and constitution.
Q>and what are negative energy vortexes?
a<There is a world wide grid of ley lines. Migratory animals
use these lines to navigate their way. Positive ley lines intersect at a perfect 90 degree angle. when the ley lines are off kilter and intersect at angles other than 90 degrees, negative energy vortexes are created . These lines can be knocked askew by man made and natural disasters such as bombs and earthquakes.
Q>i have heard that dowsing can be used to clear bad
energy from a home. can you explain what dowsing a home involves ?Karen L., calgary, aB
a<great question Karen. it is true, the practice of dowsing
has been used for generations to find things. water being the most common, and the one most people have heard of. But dowsing can also be used to clear properties of less beneficial energies. i have asked my
Qotmonth
friend Janelle harris Borm to explain.mia Staysko, editor
45 Living StreSS Free
But there are also two kinds of natural environmental stressors that come right from the earth itself: geopathic stress and negative energy vortexes. These external stressors are in our homes. So when we come home, rather than de-stressing, the pressure just continues to build.
Q>what exactly is geopathic stress? does it harm us?
a<The word geopathic breaks down into geo “of, or from,
the earth” and pathic meaning “leading to illness or disease”. geopathic stress is natural radiation that rises up through earth, is distorted by weak electromagnetic fields and then becomes harmful to living organisms.
46contemporary magazine month 20XX
while positive vortexes can be uplifting, negative ones are depleting and draining if you sleep or work overtop of them. Their effects reduce life force and vitality over time. negative vortexes also create sleep, learning, immune and conception issues. when negative ley lines are transformed back into positive vortexes, this heals mother earth and makes the area less harmful to live in.
Q>So if we remove these natural causes of stress
from our environment, they no longer cause issues for us?
a<yes. when we neutralize this negativity from our
spaces it is like steam is let off of the pressure cooker. we produce a home which better allows personal and environmental stress factors to become much more manageable. Life becomes doable. This is a process of discerning what issues you are creating and what unseen, external factors are influencing you.
Q>if these forces are unseen, how will we know what has
changed?
a<often you are not even aware of the impact these
factors have until symptoms and behaviours change, are reduced or cease. Then you suddenly realize that the cause was not you! Learning to manage your environment lessens any negative impact on you physically or mentally.
Q>So how do you suggest that people use dowsing in their
own lives?
a<dowsing is an easily learned tool to locate and cure these
non-beneficial earth stressors. I think there should be a dowser in every family, or you could always enlist a professional dowser to help you to create optimal, nourishing, stress free environments.
wherever you are, you can create a portion of earth that supports you and those you love.
Using a variety of tools, Janelle Harris
Borm assists people to transform, and win in the game of life. In her Ripple Effects Consulting business, the approach taken encompasses inner and outer aspects of body-mind-spirit evolution as she creates uplifting, nourishing spaces for people to live and work in. Co-founder of the Sacred Lotus School of Feng Shui she teaches Feng Shui and dowsing. She is the only certified Canadian Instructor of Diamond Dowsing. She can be reached [email protected]
46Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
www.livingfengshui.ca
47 contemporary magazine month 20XX47 Living together
48
Living Together
48Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
“If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships - the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world at peace.”~Franklin D. Roosevelt
www.livingfengshui.ca
49 contemporary magazine month 20XX49 Living and Loving
So you’ve been looking for Love. Tried Plenty of Fish and dated a few frogs. You’ve even had a friend say, “try Feng
Shui. Place a statue of a couple beside your bed. The Feng Shui books say it works.” Like magic you expected prince charming to ring your bell. Disappointed you quickly realized all you got was a friend with benefits. It all may have been good for a short time but what you’re really looking for is staying power. A commitment to go the distance, someone you can dance in and out of the groove with. Who whispers “To Know You is To Love You” as they hold you gently as you come back to earth.
It’s ok to want those “Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight”, moments. “Rock me gently, rock me softly kind-a nights that take you to infinity and beyond.” Yah, yah I know too many radio/movie metaphors. But really? That’s where we get
all those day-dreaming ideas like the Note Book and Harry Met Sally. We’ll all” have what she’s having” without all the drama.
You’ve been looking in the wrong place, the answers aren’t on Google and match.com they’re right underneath your own roof. Yes, that’s right. I’m talking Feng Shui. Don’t roll your eyes. Feng Shui isn’t all about the woo-woo and voodoo. You’re not sticking pins in your dancing couple, only picking a window, lighting 3 candles and saying “With this flame I call forth my twin-flame in mind, body and spirit. May you see my light, recognize my heart and come home to my open heart for Love Lives Here Now.” It’s not an incantation it’s an affirmation. So get over it.
Feng Shui for relationship is really about getting to know yourself first and for most so that you don’t continue to attracting Mr. Wrong. I said Mr Wrong not Mr. Wang. Feng Shui isn’t just a Chinese delicacy. Your home is a mirror that shows all your ‘not so secrets’. Your home speaks volumes without even uttering a word. Sometimes getting to know yourself is uncomfortable. Where you have to peek isn’t always pretty and rather awkward but the result of knowing how you tick makes a more honest dialogue. It’s easy to know what we don’t like. We’re wired to share all the drama with our friends and cry when we keep slamming our hearts in the door. God forbid we share all the
By BridgeT Sarakawww.zensolutionsfengshui.com
peace, love and grooviness in our lives. That would be bragging and it would be most unattractive.
Hello! That would be creating more peace, love and grooviness in our lives. Our vulnerability is our greatest strength. Before you know it you’ll be sharing the same heartbeat with Mr. Right. So share the love! We want to do the dance, but are afraid of the intimacy that goes with the tickling of feathers.
Reading a few Feng Shui books you attempt to activate the relationship gua of your home. Gua what? Gua means single g-spot. Your home has 9 and each one is hyper sensitive to releasing environmental endorphins to attract the love you desire. Yes, I said 9! Nine ways to take your pulse from 0 – 160 in a heartbeat. Much like your body, your home has many erogenous zones all wired to fire at the same time when you know how to massage the details to get the maximum results. I’m not just talking sex, I’m talking real soul-mating, twin flame kind-a-love thing that makes love magical.
Feng Shui is all about bringing heaven to earth, the perfect match- making quantum connection. You don’t really just want that physical attraction kind of fling. You want that organic soul connection out of this world love that transcends time and space. Feng Shui can help bring love home.
love can’t help but respond to the resonance of the vibe. You need to live in the now, let go of any loathsome self-talk, thoughts, belief systems, items, pictures, objects, and journals that no-longer tells the story of who you are today. Yes, those old chapters have contributed to your story but everyone gets tired of reruns. You’ve written the book. You don’t need the Coles Notes to remember the details. You get the credits for your contribution. If you’re still holding onto the old edition, maybe there’s something you’ve yet to learn from the experience. If not and you’re ready to let go and take a magic carpet ride with Mr. Right you best activate all your g-spots by adding romantic touches to stimulate all your five senses to the right-hand corner of every room in your home.
Like holding hands, palm up, open to receive. Pace yourself. Floor play is half the fun.
Professional Dowser and CEO of the International Feng Shui Guild. Specialising in On-site and Distant Hybrid Feng Shui™, Dowsing, Space Clearing and Blessing Ceremonies. Creating Tranquil Spaces to Enhance Your Quality of Life. “May Love Live Here Now” is Bridget’s personal motto. Where there is Love there is light. May you find your way to both. [email protected]
No matter how insightful, evolved, conscious, aware and with the best intentions we have, we will still experience interactions with others where there will be hurt feelings, emotional outbursts, anger and stress. Without knowing
the 9 different Personality Loving Styles, couples can spiral into a mean spirited tit- for-tat pattern, building resentment, feeling unloved and misunderstood.
So how is it that we can be in a relationship for a long period of time and still not understand our partner’s “Loving Language”? Or they ours? Often we are confused when they do things that make absolutely no sense to us. Why do they get so irrational over something that seems so insignificant to me? Why they do not respond....or respond in the way I would like? We often assume it is because they don’t love us...when really they are out of options for understanding.
So How Can You Grow A More Loving & Juicy Relationship?
Like eating healthy, you will want to feed a healthy relationship. Instead of the down spiral, elevate each other. You will understand what feels loving to both of you, so you can share with each other. We know what we don’t want, but find it difficult to be clear on what we need to feel loved. When we can communicate clearly, what we love and appreciate about our partner, we will feel valued.
Personality profiles gives you inner knowledge and a common ground so that you can see the whole picture. Your differences will expand and enhance your life experience if you open to creating the space to allow your partner to share their gifts with you. You will feel more loving when you know your loving gestures will be recognized, received and valued. When you know what love looks like, it will be easier to find.
For example, a 2 - Helper focuses intently on other’s
1 - Perfectionists: High values, rules, great organization skills. Strives to create the perfect relationship. Feels valued when you appreciate their high attention to detail and making life easier for you.
2 - Helpers: Focuses on feelings, emotions, helping others, connecting, forming relationships, focusing on others needs. Feels valued when you appreciate that their focus is on your needs.
3 - Achievers: Thrive on achievement, competition, goals and success. Feels valued when you appreciate them for who they are instead of what they do.
4 - Romantics: Strive for unique concepts, individualism, creativeness, aesthetically pleasing environments, intensity of emotions. Feels valued when you appreciate their specialness and feelings of romance.
5 - Observers: Love mind enrichment of theories, concepts, analysing, knowledge and teaching. Feels valued when we appreciate their positive outlook and their need for space for themselves.
51 Living communication
needs, picking up on hints on exactly what others want and then giving those specific gifts or needs. When a gift is given to them they might be disappointed that it isn’t exactly what they have asked for. They might have said that they like lilies and their partner thinks flowers so they give them a mixed bouquet. The partner then senses that the gift isn’t quite right feeling resentful that they have made the effort and it is not received well. It would be more loving if they said to the Two- “You said that your favorite flower is lilies and so I bought this bouquet thinking of you.” Can you see how this can take the relationship to a whole other level?
Here are the Personality Perspectives for each type:
to assisting couples learn their “Personality Love Language”, to support our partners in their growth and build loving connections.
6 - Loyal Sceptics: Strive to create safety, security, accessing, analysing, questioning, sceptical, play devil’s advocate, loyal. Feels valued when we appreciate they are collaborative, reliable, sharp witted and commitment.
7 - Enthusiasts: Upbeat, positive attitude, fun, fast paced, always looking for the next fun experience. Feels valued when we appreciate the fun, never ending options and adventure they bring to us.
8 - Challengers: Make things happen through their will. They are movers and shakers, taking charge. Feels valued when we show them we respect them more when they share their vulnerability.
9 - Peacemakers: Create peace and harmony, getting along with everyone, being nice, making everything smooth. Feels valued when we encourage them to focus on their own priorities and when they express their importance to us.
Understanding the different personalities can expand your perceptions of others and yourself, assisting you with communicating and relating in a more heart centred way.
I have never found anything that so clearly and effectively shows you how to Create The Love You Are Meant To Have.
52Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
Eileen coaches and teaches workshops to take the confusion out of relationships, helping others to find their PASSION, PURPOSE AND PATH.
COMING SOON.
I’m Leaving YOU For ME...An Insightful Book....
Finding The WHY and Your Answers In The Enneagram Personality Solution
Join Life Equations Consulting on Facebook for launch updates!
53 contemporary magazine month 20XX53 Living curiouS
The Powerin a Pause
The scariest punctuation in a relationship is the question mark. We are so deathly afraid of it. Whether we’re the one
questioning the relationship or the one who has to deal with a confused partner, the situation is a ticking time bomb. When a question mark shows up in our relationship, we sit in limbo, suspended in anticipation of where things are going. But if, instead of fearing it and trying not to notice it, we give space for the question mark to exist, it has the potential to deepen our intimacy and anchor our relationship to solid ground.
Many cafés and park benches have witnessed the aftermath of the cliché, “I love you but I don’t know if I’m in love with you.” They are famous last words after all but they don’t have to be. Of course if the person who is saying them has already decided it’s over, there’s really nowhere to go from there. But if you’ve experienced some version of this cliché and the person speaking those words was simply expression his/her genuine confusion then it’s not as scary as both of you may think. The question mark is your friend. It’s an invitation
to pause and get curious about what’s really going on. In order to give it space though, you’ll need to call out the question mark’s sneaky compadre…fear.
Fear will give all kinds of meaning to the question marks in your relationship. If you are the one who is feeling confused, fear will make you wonder if the person you’re committed to is really meant for you after all. It will have you wondering if you’re losing out on something more…something sexier maybe or something a little brighter or perhaps someone a little deeper. Whatever you think you’re missing, once the question mark pops up, you’ll think the problem lies with your partner. If you keep company with the question mark long enough, you’ll eventually pull out the old microscope and examine every reason to stay and weigh it against every reason to leave. But are you putting the wrong specimen under the microscope? It’s not your partner you should be scrutinizing, it’s you. The answer to your unhappiness lies within you. Change the direction of your inquiry and use your relationship as an
‘‘The question mark is your friend. It is an invitation to pause and get curious about
what’s really going on.’’
by dana da Ponte and joyCe sChaferswww.joyceanddana.com
opportunity to point inward and contemplate the real root of the problem. Not all relationships are destined to last but the day you refuse to blame someone else for your unhappiness is the day the potential for a life-long commitment takes root.
If the shoe is on the other foot and you are the one who has to hear those famous last words, watch out! Fear is going to come at you lightning fast. It’s going to throw shit at you like rejection, past failures and every memory of heartbreak. You’ll need to know what to do with those things so you don’t spring into warrior mode or collapse into turtle pose. Your first instinct may be to run before it gets any worse but it’s a much different thing for
your partner to admit they are confused than for them to declare it’s over. If they don’t want to end things but are sincerely opening up to you because they have been struggling, pay attention to that difference. It’s not easy to be honest. If they were brave enough to voice it then you owe it to the relationship to be brave enough to hear it.
Take a breath and remember this isn’t about you. You’re not the problem. Your partner is struggling with his/her demons and the best thing you can do is encourage him/her to figure it out. Then step away and lick your wounds. Remind yourself that you are an incredible person and you are worth loving…just as you are. Your mistakes, flaws and annoying habits are part of the magnificent package that is bundled in the mystery that is you. No one is perfect.Don’t let your partner get away with blaming you for his/her unhappiness. You can be guaranteed that you are not at the root of someone else’s misery and if they are dead set in painting you as the problem, it’s really not the healthiest match for you anyway.
Question marks in relationships are never easy to deal with but they are manageable when you have the right tools. If you don’t feel like you know how to navigate the muddy waters, you’re not alone. It’s naturally so much easier to solve other people’s problems than it is to solve our own but there’s beauty in that. It forces us to reach out and connect. If the task of handling the question marks in your relationship seems daunting, instead of
struggling through it on your own, consider asking for help. Whether you seek professional help or go it alone, remember a question mark is an opportunity to create the relationship of your dreams.
Dana da Ponte and Joyce Schafers are
the creators of ADIGI Therapy – a special form of counselling that is solution-oriented and modelled after the principles taught in A Course in Miracles …and they’re best friends. They believe that relationship pain is a sign of disconnection from our own divinity, that life-changing insight can happen in a heartbeat, and that two therapists (at once!) are better than one. You”ll find them sipping lattes, inspiring breakthroughs or planning their next retreat at www.JoyceandDana.com
Kim Page GluckieThe Awe-Manac: A Daily Dose of Wonder, Jil BadonskyThis has been my go to “happy place” book for over 5 years. Filled with bright colours, fun artwork and perfectly timely quotations, it’s a day of the month guide to infusing little bits of creativity into a hectic schedule. I’ve pulled out the book randomly at many workshops I’ve taught and used the quote of the day to guide the conversation. I don’t typically read non-fiction, and I can’t say I often use the creative tools in the Awe-manac literally, but it is the one book where the spine shows my adoration for just owning the book. Sometimes, it’s not just the contents of the book itself, but the whole experience of having a book that sparks a feeling or inspiration. It’s also a book I’ve gifted often and extended the joy. It sparks creativity in different ways for everyone.
Contributor’s PicksSpacious Reads to Expand your Perspective
Have you ever read something that totally expanded your view of the world, opening your mind, or your heart to a new idea? i asked our contributors to share just such a book read, one that created space
in their lives for something new to happen. They have generously shared them here!
Mia StayskoThe Teachings of Abraham, Ester and Jerry HicksI was blessed to have seen the original version of the movie ‘The Secret’ (did you know there were two? I had no idea she was channelling, and despite her strange demeanour I was very drawn to Ester Hicks, and paid attention to the reference to her book ‘The Teachings of Abraham’. I found it the very next day at my local coffee shop and for me, it was life altering. I can only describe the effects on my life as a true opening, a new understanding of how the Universe works it’s magic through the Law of Attraction. Abraham opened both my heart and my mind to a different way of looking at the world and my own life, and it sent me on the path toward Feng Shui. I am forever grateful.
Fawna BewsLoving What Is, Byron Katie This book and it’s tool “The Work” are useful for absolutely anyone in any situation (now how often can you say that?). This book is an easy and practical read and the implications of actually applying it will change your life, you will literally learn to Love What Is. and ...A Course In Miracles, this book has altered the way that I see the world. This channelled work is made up of a text, a workbook (365 lessons) and a teachers text. I continue to consult it on a regular basis and find that it takes me deeper and deeper towards the Truth of the love that we are.
55 Living inSpired
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Michelena BamfordWomen Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola EstesAs a university student, I was questioning many things in my life when this book was gifted to me. It is a classic tomb speaking to the ancient power, guidance and creative energy that is within us all. Through mythology and storytelling, it affirmed and opened in me, the importance of trusting my own intuition and wisdom at a time when I really needed it to grow into myself. Knowing I am a Wild Woman at heart has driven me to lead a courageous and true life.
Dana da PonteMy Name is Asher Lev, Chaim PotokThis book opened two majestic doors for me. The first door led to my passion for the life-changing power of a masterfully told story. The second door opened me to a world of faith, art, imagination and the importance of listening to that benevolent voice that is always there, patiently waiting to lead me to my magnificence.
Tanya JahnkeMind over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself, Dr. Lissa RankinThis was a recent read, and a total game changer for me, inspired by my Mom’s journey with Stage 4 cancer. This is not your typical “woo-woo” holistic perspective.Dr. Rankin is a world renowned doctor who spent a year delving into over 3,500 scientific and medical studies that prove the power of our minds, thoughts and feelings to affect our body’s innate ability to heal itself. “Mind over Medicine” has made me feel hopeful, empowered and more engaged in my own self-care.
Dan BruleLife and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East. Baird Spalding “Life and Teachings” documents a three year journey through India at the turn of the century.The miracles and masters, the vivid stories and powerful lessons, and practical yoga teachings, all opened up so many possibilities for me... stretching my ideas about human potential, our spiritual nature and our innate divinity!
56Living Feng Shui magazine Summer 2013
www.livingfengshui.ca
57 contemporary magazine month 20XX
www.JoyceandDana .comThe ways we can hurt are many.
Healing starts here, where therapy meets friendship and girl talk is a spiritual practice.
n my life i have often felt alone. Seldom lonely, but often alone. This, despite being surrounded by my loving husband, children, family and friends.
i have looked longingly at those who seem to be effortlessly lifted up by others, sup-ported, guided - and wished that i felt that way more often. Particularly guided.
Partly this situation is of my own making. i have always been highly independent, a control freak perhaps. it is my nature. i seldom ask for help. in this i’m sure i am not unique.
However, the idea of creating space requires not only that we clear something old and unwanted out, but also that we are receptive, that we are open enough to al-low something new to come in.
Feng Shui is an ancient art and much of it’s philosophy can be understood through the 64 Trigrams of the i Ching, the Book of Changes.
a trigram is basically a simple three lined diagram, made up of yin and yang lines. yang lines are solid, yin lines are broken. yang is strong, solid and outgoing. yin is soft, open and inward moving. Though much of what we value in western society is yang, it is yin, the receptive, which is most powerful of all.
in order to breathe life into this magazine, i had to step way out of my comfort zone. it was necessary for me to reach out to oth-ers and ask for help. in some cases from the wonderful and talented community
www.livingfengshui.ca
around me, in some cases from people i had never met.
i had to clear out my desire for control and independence and create some space to receive.
i want to sincerely thank, from the deep-est place in my heart all of the people who contributed to this issue. They all stepped up to the challenge of speaking to a theme which is somewhat outside of their special fields of expertise. They did it with beauty, grace and integrity. Many went out of their way to let me know that they were indeed supporting me in this endeavour, that i was not alone.
i am forever grateful.
~ Mia
I’d like to offer a special word of thanks to a woman have never met. The vast majority of the images in this issue were created by Cornelia Kopp. She shares her images through the creative commons under the name AlicePopkorn. They uplift me, and her willingness to create something of beauty and then share it freely is a true inspiration.
