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8/14/2019 Loss: A Weaving of Words (Part the III)
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LossA
weaving of words
Part the III
By:
Caleb Alan Kestner
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LossA
weaving of words
Part the III
By:
Caleb Alan Kestner
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Copyright 2009 by Caleb Kestner.
All Rights Reserved.
(I make no claim to the illustrations; they are in no way my creation, unless otherwise
noted. If you happen to know the author of one of the pictures listed, as anonymous,please let me know so I can give them proper credit.)
2nd
Story PressMinneapolis, Minnesota
Printed in the United States
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This book is dedicated to my Mom.
Who gave me words.Thank you.
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Contents
iiiXXVII. Simply Simplicity
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~13
iiXXVIII. Leaving Normal
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~14
iiiiXXIX. Loss
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~18
iiiiiXXX. Torn
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~21
iiiiXXXI. Pure
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~22
iiiXXXII. War of the Hours
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~25
iiXXXIII. Why to War?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~26
iiXXXIV. Cruentus Rosa~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~29
iiiXXXV. Vitium
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~30
iiXXXVI. Civilization
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~33
iXXXVII. Read it all or not at all
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~34
XXXVIII. Words
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~37
iiXXXIX. Faust
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~38
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Illustrations
Venetian Mask ~ Anonymous
The Looking Glass (In) ~ John Tenniel
Caravan ~Charles Theodore FrereDon Quixote ~ Gustave Dor
Laputa ~ Anonymous
Pandora ~ John William Waterhouse
The Looking Glass (Out) ~ John Tenniel
Eyes of Sorrow ~ lilfuzz6
Torn ~ Deusuum
New Snow ~ Anonymous
Black Angel ~ Luis Royo
Gunsmoke ~ David Cartwright
Red Rose ~ Anonymous
Smaug ~ John Howe
Angkor Wat ~ Commons
Der Bcherwurm ~ Carl Spitzweg
Silenced ~ Anonymous
Faust ~ Anonymous
12
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17
17
19
20
23
24
27
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31
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35
36
39
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One science only will one genius fit; so vast is art, so narrow human wit.
Alexander Pope
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Simply Simplicity
Simply simplicity, mask upon mask
New faces painted for every task
Shattered existence never unveiled
Never revealing the things that they've failed
Pain never shown, tears never cried
Knowing with ever laugh that they've lied
Anger is licensed, bound and controlled
Slowly entrapped by the things they've been told
Farewell to infinity, patterns on the floor
Ever situation feeds an appetite for more
Grasping for the moments, things that quickly fade
Locked within this prison of possessions that they've made
Blind to the faults that have encrusted their soul
Ever astounded that theyre never quite whole
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Leaving Normal
Stepping through the looking glassthere is no stepping back
The journey once acceptedis a never-ending track
Adventure leads to places
that we should not dare to go
Questions lead to answersthat we should not dare to know
To wander through the wardrobeis to leave whats safe behind
Forever leaving normal
for the hope of what you'll find
A journey of a thousand stepsthat cannot be retraced
A single step once takenthat can never be erased
Dangerous the road that flows
away from your front door
Keep your feet or it may sweepyou to a distant shore
Should ever you joust windmillsor travel mystic lands
Blaze trails through rotting junglescaravan cross burning sand
Remember with each victory
theres also something lost
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Theres a price for each adventurethats not always worth the cost
So whether its the seven seas
or past the worlds own edge
Regardless of the paths you takeor promises you pledge
Should find you Never Never Land
and finding choose to go
All that which you had aforewill neer again be so
For once youve rode Laputa
or Pandoras Box unbound
Once love has hold your spiritor wisdom had been found
Once blind eyes have been opened
or sirens song is heard
Once tragedy has struck so hardthat laughter seems absurd
Once Wonderland is entered
your soul is ever changed
The world you left behind youis ever left estranged
You can return to bridges burned
but oer them none may pass
For once you stray there is no wayto get back through the glass
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LossWorst of sorrows, deepest dreadThrobbing thoughts that fill my head
Hollow heart far less then wholeUn-cried tears that bind my soul
Moments slip through listless handsDeath that know one understands
How can beauty fade so fast?Future's promise turned to past
Hours lifted up on highCrashing down as time ticks byVibrant life so quickly lost
Is ever death perfections cost?Who are we to dictate when?
A vapor dies within the windBut still my mind can't comprehend
Why life so young should have to endI know that all must cease to be
That death the soul from flesh does freeBut knowledge doesn't staunch the pain
Or calm the maelstrom in my brainMy aching pain no logic sees or understanding knows
It merely burns through every nerve or vein through which it flowsI cannot ever truly come to terms with what is gone
It's one more thing I carry as I'm forced to move alongMissing moments, day's undone
Words unfinished, fights unwonWhen everything has gone away
And night has finally conquered dayPast the endless sea of death indeed may be much more
But all that's ever left is loss for those upon the shore
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Torn
Torn in two my sides compete
Each the other to defeat
Light and darkness, black and white
Good and evil, wrong and right
Ever hungry wanting more
Ever yearning for their war
Different parts of all thats me
Two reflections I could see
Past and future, lost and found
Happy heartache, silent sound
True deception, honest lie
Deep within I live to die
Hope eternal yet may spring
Everlasting light to bring
Battles wait still to be waged
Souls in flesh remain still cagedPassions follow passions lead
Hearts are chained and hearts are freed
Chaos of the human soul
Ever straining to be whole
Light to light and sin to sin
What is fed is sure to win
Time unmeasured time to few
What we are is what we do
In the end one side must lose
Beware the torn piece you choose
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Pure
Frozen tears from heaven fall as snow upon the ground
Pure white the only color, silence all the sound
All my tracks are covered, every step that walked away
Unbroken is the path ahead as if to gently say
Your trespasses are covered, your debts have all been paid
Your many sins forgiven, your broken heart remade
Your past is left behind, you your future yet to be
Your present undecided as you struggle to be free
Two roads remain before you, the wide and narrow wayOne leads to your salvation, the other leads astray
Redemption has been granted, but still you must decide
Your steps not your intentions will control which one is tried
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War of the Hours
Against my monster I wage war
Ever certain, never sure
A blackness deep inside of me
Locked within, yet running free
Sins seduction, bittersweet
Crippled wings, still fight to beat
I yearn to live yet choose to die
I try to laugh, but only cry
The hours pass in dark of night
My soul cries out in search of light
My spirit mourns for what Ive lost
My fight is weakened by its cost
Loss of love, I fall and weep
Love they gave, I failed to keep
War of the Hours never done
Never finished never won
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Why to war?
Why to war go charging we on steeds of righteous rage?
Slashing through in shining suits the battles that we wage
We justify their dying cries by crying, we cried too!"
And death breeds hate, breeds rage, breeds death, in cycles all to true
Is peace the just reward of war? Or war corrupted peace?
Is all of man so twisted that this murder we can't cease?
But then again is all death sin? Do all deserve to live?
If someone strives to take a life can we to them it give?
Is it not right to take a life that other lives may grow?
But what if both are victim, both of them the foe?
How can we bind the broken sides and sooth the years of hate?
When will the children of revenge learn blood their thirst won't sate?
War that necessary bane that plague upon mankind.
Ever doomed to die for life we never seem to find.
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Cruentus Rosa
Frozen beauty hearts unfold
Blood red petals spun of gold
Razor thorns of all life's pains
Spot its emerald stem like stains
Blushing blooms that greet the dawn
An instant here, in an instant gone
A leaf unfurls to morning light
And bids farewell the fading night
Grown from grief and misery,
watered by our tears
A symbol of our beauty,
an image of our fears
A painful beauty worth the cost
Risking love that could be lost
Cruentus Rosa, Blood-Red Rose
The splendor of pain
from which
love
grows
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Vitium
Then look upon the monsters maw
Where diamond daggers line its jaw
Its tongue a velvet soft as sleep
And Gold along its throat is heaped
The smell of spices sweet and strong is heavy on its breath
An enticing blend fragrances that masks the stench of death
Its granite eyes give off a glare as cold as winter skies
Hypnotically it stares at you and whispers frigid lies
Its scales are polished silver with an iridescent glow
Its fingers end in milky claws as pure as crimson snow
My way is easy, fun and fast it says and smiles wide
Come taste the fruit of vanity and drink the wine of pride
It slowly inches closer as its prey begins to near
Promising them all they ask to wash away theyre fear
Indulgence is such pleasing sport and temperance so dull
Lust is such delightful bliss just let your conscious lull
And as theyre slowly swallowed up the illusion disappears
They realize the choice theyve made has a price thats paid in tears
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Civilization
Upon this place that once would be
There sat a still of symmetry
But now that day has gone away
Tomorrows lost in past todays
The trees once green are gnarled and dry
Once great beauty slowly dies
Here once stood the triumph of man
Now naught remains but deaths cool hand
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Read it all or not at all
Read it all or not at allthe words with which youre fed
Contemplate before you sate
yourself with what youve read
Take the time to see the rhymein all you dare to know
The reasons for the learned loreand all that it might show
Look within as you begin
to ponder what you gain
Remember to in all you doan open mind retain
Dare stand firm as you confirm
what yet may not be true
Then believe what you receiveno matter what you do
Keep inside the things you hide
until they can be free
Ever blind to thus remindyou of what none can see
Still remains the slight refrainsthat never truly leave
Cautious hands that work the strandsof every dream we weave
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Words
A mask of silence a voice restrainedWords withheld to stop the pain
Misunderstanding, refusing to hear
Why try to speak when the sound isnt clear
Silence is taught so silence is learnedA book not yet written is already burned
My voice tries to speak, they push it away
Nobody cares what you have to say
There are those whod listen, but Im locked in a tranceThe risk of rejection to painful a chance
Im not always like this and I wont always be
But you must understand this too understand me
Theres a part of me missing that Ive yet to findA feeling of confidence lost in my mind
Im fixing my problems but the progress is slowIn time wounds may heal but scars always show
I may never be perfect, I may never be wholeI may always be haunted by the flaws in my soul
But I still treasure beauty and I still trust in hope
I have faith in the power of my spirit to cope
I may never be famous I may never be knownMy gifts and my talents may never be shown
But that has no bearing on what I might be
The extent of my purpose is left up to me
Im as strong as my weakness as true as my liesAnd Ill fall just as much as Im willing to rise
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Faust
As I move along a world gone wrong, nothing seems to lastEvery possibility corrupted by the past
The bloody stains of broken veins, to me a message send
Evidence of time gone by when hearts refused to bend
A symphony calls out to me, in sounds that I can't hear
An orchestra of majesty drowned out by roaring fear
And turning I look to the sky, but still I cannot see
For wretched clouds of sorrow drift between the sun and me
A sadness falls as darkness calls, a message all too clear
And the demons on my shoulder whispers lies of hate and fear
Times running out the demons shout, its far too late to turnYou made the choice , you sold your soul and now its time to burn
Deep within I feel the sin, that seals my fate in blood
That turns the purists of my deeds to worse then muck or mud
I have no hope with which to cope, Im doomed to worse then death
But as the demons cackle the wind breathes one last breath
The morbid shroud of blackened cloud, is split from up on high
The demons look with fearful glares and cease their piercing cry
A shaft of light engulfs my sight, it blinds me yet I see
And something moves within it as my demons start to flee
An angel stands with sword in hand, hes robed in blazing whiteHis splendor overpowers and I cower at the sight
Arise and hear and do not fear,but still my body quakes
I think of all my many sins, my numerous mistakes
Its far too late Ive sealed my fate, Ive sold my soul to hell
He says in words of pure compassion it was not yours to sellWeeping I now raise an eye, and see his outstretched hand
Its yours but you must chose it, your heart God wont command
But I have strayed and not obeyed, Ive lived a life of sin
For such as you he sacrificed his everything to winHow can it be hed see in me, a soul thats worth that cost
Because you are his children and he loves you, though your lostAnd that is why he chose to die. So that you might be found
And of your own decision by sin no more be boundI take his hand and rising stand, Ive nothing left to say
My final moments now are past, he takes my soul away
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Continued in . . .
ItsAweaving of wordsPart the IV
By:
Caleb Alan Kestner
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