Date post: | 23-Dec-2015 |
Category: |
Documents |
Upload: | annis-holmes |
View: | 213 times |
Download: | 0 times |
Making Advances
And You Thought Treating Female Partners
Was Challenging!Treating Male Partners of
FSLAs• SASH Conference 2012• San Antonio, Texas, September 20, 2012
• Marnie C. Ferree & Linda Hudson
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts
MALE PARTNERS - INVISIBLE ONES
• Unique
shame
• Cultural stereotypes
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
ADDITION IS A FAMILY DISEASE
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
ADDITION IS A FAMILY DISEASE
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
MODELS FOR TREATING PARTNERS
• Strong disagreement about best
approach
• Strong agreement about
commonalities
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
CHARACTERISTICS OF MALE PARTNERS
• Angry
• Also addicted
• Avoidant
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
PAIN
SYSTEMS THEORY
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
SYSTEMS THEORY
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
• Roles
• Rules
• Attachment issues
Sex and love addiction is an intimacy disorder.
CO-ADDICTION MODEL
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
NOT responsible for addict’s behavior.
IS responsible for own personal and relationship issues.
CO-ADDICTS HAVE OWN ISSUES OF…
• Trauma
• Unhealthy Coping
• Impaired Intimacy
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
HISTORY OF ABUSE
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Addict Spouse
Sexual 81% 81%
Physical 72% 71%
Emotional 97% 91%
Carnes, P. (1991). Don’t call it love: Recovering from sexual addiction. Minneapolis, MN: Compcare Publishers.
CO-ADDICT’S COPING STRATEGIES
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Search and seizure
Control Complain Threaten Ignore Rage Focus on kids/
workManipulate
Withdraw/shut down
Become more sexual
Engage in own addiction
Tolerate impaired intimacy
Self-righteousness
CO-ADDICTION IS…
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Focusing on someone else’s life
Believing you can control people and events outside yourself
An obsession with the possibility
TRAUMA MODEL
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
• “Partner sensitive” emphasis that focuses on “sexual addition-induced trauma.”
• Partner receives equal clinical attention
Steffens & Means (2009). Your Sexually Addicted Spouse - How Partners Can Cope and Heal
TRAUMATIC NATURE OF DISCOVERY
OR DISCLOSURE
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Creates PTSD-like symptoms (in 70% of a small study)
TRAUMATIC NATURE OF DISCOVERY
OR DISCLOSURE
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
TRAUMATIC NATURE OF DISCOVERY
OR DISCLOSURE
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Creates PTSD-like symptoms (in 70% of a small study)
Causes constant triggering, reactivity, hypervigilance, panic, anxiety, somatic symptoms
Normal, predictable responses of people who have been deeply betrayed
PARTNER’S WORK: ATTENDING TO
MULTIPLE TRAUMAS
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Relational betrayal, deception, emotional abuse, marginalization, manipulation
“Gaslighting” by sex addict“Treatment-induced” trauma
EFFECTIVE TREATMENT
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Dual Track:
Addressing betrayal
Addressing core issues
EFFECTIVE TREATMENT
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Dual Track:
Addressing betrayal
Addressing core issues
DISCLOSURE
• Disclosing Secrets
• Surviving Disclosure
by Deborah Corley & Jennifer
Schneider
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
PARTNER’S SYSTEM
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Belief System
ImpairedThinking
Unmanageability
Distraction Strategies
Crisis
Despair
Partner’sCycle
PreoccupationFantasy
HEALING
• Boundaries
• Unique Issues/Challenges
Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addictswww.sash.net/makingadvances
Making AdvancesA Comprehensive Guide for
TreatingFemale Sex and Love Addicts
All proceeds benefit the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health www.sash.net/makingadvances
Edited by Marnie C. Ferree
Writers:Susan J. CamplingRobin CatoM. Deborah CorleyMarnie C. FerreeLinda HudsonAlexandra KatehakisKelly McDanielAnna Valenti-AndersonJill VermeireSonnee Weedn