Managing complexity

- common challenges for academic writers

- Mark Phillips BA Communication Studies with Biological Sciences, English Language Editor,

STAKES

the big idea

the big idea

Recognise complexity and you will manage it better

What I’m going to do today:

What I’m going to do today:

• Say a few things about language editing

What I’m going to do today:

• Say a few things about language editing

• Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing

What I’m going to do today:

• Say a few things about language editing

• Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing

• Show you some words that add complexity to a sentence – the ‘little beasts’ of English

What I’m going to do today:

• Say a few things about language editing

• Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing

• Show you some words that add complexity to a sentence – the ‘little beasts’ of English

• Give concrete examples of those words in action

What I’m going to do today:

• Say a few things about language editing

• Tell you a bit about complexity and mental processing

• Show you some words that add complexity to a sentence – the ‘little beasts’ of English

• Give concrete examples of those words in action

• Give you an exercise to practice what you have learnt

English Language Editing

English Language Editing

• Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free

English Language Editing

• Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free

• If possible, work should pass through the hands of a native language editor/reviser

English Language Editing

• Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free

• If possible, work should pass through the hands of a native language editor/reviser

• A language editor will focus on:– Accuracy– Clarity– Readability

English Language Editing

• Non-native work is rarely 100% error-free

• If possible, work should pass through the hands of a native language editor/reviser

• A language editor will focus on:– Accuracy– Clarity– Readability

• Language editing is a negotiated process

Complexity

Complexity

• Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable

Complexity

• Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable

• Too many bits leads to confusion – i.e. making it unclear, unreadable and even inaccurate

Complexity

• Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable

• Too many bits leads to confusion – i.e. making it unclear, unreadable and even inaccurate

• The complex can be made simple! If you can pack it, you can unpack it!

Complexity

• Complexity in academic writing is unavoidable

• Too many bits leads to confusion – i.e. making it unclear, unreadable and even inaccurate

• The complex can be made simple! If you can pack it, you can unpack it!

• Keywords: length & clarity (1+1+1+1)

Complexity (2)

Complexity (2)

• Simple: A does B (to/in/for/behind C)

Complexity (2)

• Simple: A does B (to/in/for/behind C)• Complex: A + B = C (logical

arguments)

Complexity (2)

• Simple: A does B (to/in/for/behind C)• Complex: A + B = C (logical

arguments) • Very complex: A (fixed) + B (varying)

= C (yes, if conditions D and E are also true, but no if condition F is true)

Processing (1)

Processing (1)

• Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ?

Processing (1)

• Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ?

• However, imagine if you had a sum ?+13+6+4= , you wouldn’t get very far with the answer.

Processing (1)

• Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ?

• However, imagine if you had a sum ?+13+6+4= , you wouldn’t get very far with the answer.

• So, are your terms clear?

Processing (1)

• Processing begins e.g. ? + ? = ?

• However, imagine if you had a sum ?+13+6+4= , you wouldn’t get very far with the answer.

• So, are your terms clear?

• The reader of academic writing also questions the idea of the sentence. Is it true that A + B = C?

Processing (2)

• So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory:

Processing (2)

• So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: – the sentence parts

Processing (2)

• So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: – the sentence parts– the possible meanings of each

Processing (2)

• So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: – the sentence parts– the possible meanings of each– the perceived truth of those meanings

Processing (2)

• So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: – the sentence parts– the possible meanings of each– the perceived truth of those meanings

…until we are happy we have found both the author’s intended meaning and our response to it.

Processing (2)

• So, when processing a sentence, we hold in memory: – the sentence parts– the possible meanings of each– the perceived truth of those meanings

…until we are happy we have found both the author’s intended meaning and our response to it.

• We are not usually efficient at remembering more than 5–7 items at a time

The reader ‘stumble’

We often ‘stumble’ as we read. A stumble is when we say to ourselves ‘maybe the author means this?’

“For a sub-editor, saying, "I don’t understand this" is not an admission of failure or inadequacy; it is a vital first step in turning the article into something that is easily understood"

Peter – Managing Editor, Nature.

The reader ‘stumble’

We often ‘stumble’ as we read. A stumble is when we say to ourselves ‘maybe the author means this?’

“For a sub-editor, saying, "I don’t understand this" is not an admission of failure or inadequacy; it is a vital first step in turning the article into something that is easily understood"

Peter Wrobel – Managing Editor, Nature.

Simple words that add complexity

Words Effect

if conditional

no/not/un-/but negate

on/in/with expand

and/also connect

by agency

Instensibility* abstract

Examples

Examples

• For each of these words, I will give an example – a monster sentence.

Examples

• For each of these words, I will give an example – a monster sentence.

• Then we will look at tips for improving that sentence.

Examples

• For each of these words, I will give an example – a monster sentence.

• Then we will look at tips for improving that sentence.

• All these tips are on a separate handout for you

Example – if

“If you take a sentence as being made up of a series of parts and you were to analyse the complicating effect of those parts separately, then you would see that the more parts you have, and the more complicated those parts are, the more complex is the sentence and the more potentially difficult it is to understand that sentence, although it is not just about the length, it is also often about the kinds of structures that you are using.”

Example – ifSuggestions: Is the if-clause really necessary? Remove weak ‘to be’

verbs; keep your main point clear and uncluttered; where possible, avoid mixing complicated parts in the same sentence, e.g. ‘if-clauses’, negatives, comparatives, that-clauses, etc., an example goes a long way to helping your reader understand.

“Longer sentences are potentially more complicated and difficult to understand. Some words naturally add to the complexity of the sentence, such as ‘if-then-but’.

Example – no/not/un-

“In spite of the fact that there were unconvincing reasons for less attention being paid to the lack of funding for the new development plans, the implementation of the plans was not anyhow unsuccessful.”

Example – no/not/un-Suggestions: remove unnecessary parts, replace weak ‘to be’

verbs (there is/are/were etc.), turn negatives into positives where possible (from 5 to 1), avoid unnecessary nominalisations.

“Although funding for the new development plans was not given adequate attention, they were still implemented successfully.”

Example – on/in/with

“While age progresses in a fixed way for all people, diet can vary from one person to another, although both factors can have an impact on the level of health of individuals, with the impact being positive in combination with exercise and good genes, but not so positive if combined with, e.g., a stressed work life.)

Example – on/in/with

Suggestions: Split the sentence; reorganise the content, make it shorter (some 40%), reduce prepositions (from 10 to 3); bring keywords nearer the front (i.e. health):

“Although health naturally deteriorates with advancing age, the choice of a healthy diet and regular exercise can improve health prospects. Potential negative risks to health include inherited factors and life stressors, such as work-related stress.”

Example – and

“Other support structures were shared posts between hospitals, health centres, universities and polytechnics, regional workgroups and persons in charge in organisations, educations and collaboration practices. In the regions, strategic plans and leadership, evidence-based practice, know-how of personnel and regional collaboration were developed.”

Example – and

Suggestions: reduce conjunctions (from 6 to 3); move keywords closer to front; reduce length (managers); turn passive into active; avoid preposition phrases (use inanimate agent); sequence the lists from simplest to most complex.

“Support also took the form of training, collaboration practices, regional workgroups for managers, and shared posts between hospitals, health centres, universities and polytechnics. Development at the regional level focused on strategic plans, leadership, evidence-based practice, knowledge enhancement, and regional collaboration.”

Example – by

“As a result of the increasing pressure of an ageing population in Finland, new models for the integration of home care and home nursing services, discharge practices from hospital to home and use of confidential electronic patient information records to share information between agencies have had to be developed by policy makers in Finland. This has brought about many changes in the work practices for home care and home nursing staff.”

Example – bySuggestions: Turn passive into active; remove repetition (in

Finland); remove some information (don’t cram); clarify the pronoun ‘this’; simplify the list elements and noun clusters; remove prepositions.

“With the increasing pressure of an ageing population in Finland, policy makers have developed new models for integrated home care services, hospital discharge practices, and electronic patient records. These new models have led to changes in the work practices of home care and home nursing staff.”

Example – Abstract

“The different mediated activities constitute and perform the organisation and its orders as a continuous consequence.”

Example – Abstract

Suggestions: Split into two sentences; bring keywords to front (organisation); reorganise content (perform and continuous are natural partners). Make important and implicit concepts explicit (i.e. mediated technology, and fixed entity) – less is not always more. Remove complicating ideas until main idea has been made clear (orders/hierarchy).

“An organisation is constituted through its activities, which are mediated by technology. The organisation is not a fixed entity, but a continuous consequence of the different and changing activities performed within it. The same applies to the hierarchy within the organisation.”

Further Resources:

Online Academic Writing Lab

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/

Publishing Addiction Science

http://www.parint.org/isajewebsite/isajebook2.htm

Group Activity

• In groups of 3 or 4, write a sentence detailing some of the things you have learnt today. TRY to make that sentence as complicated as possible, using any linguistic device you can.

• Rules: – Make the sentence grammatical.– Do not use more than five lines