Managing ConflictBennie Good

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What does this picture say to you?

Role Play• Pair up• One person makes

a fist• The other person

tries to convince them within 2 minutes to open their fist

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Conflict Scenario• Convince a child

that it’s time to put the toys away and take a bath

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Be Aware of Yourself• Why is the issue

important?• Does it really

matter?

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Be Aware of Others• Trust• Experience• Understand• Care

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Bob McKillopHead Basketball Coach

Davidson College

Scene for Cooperative Resolutions

• Listen• Pay Attention • “Involvement,

Involvement, Involvement!”

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The Most Important Question

What do you want?

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Questions for Conflict Resolution

1. What do you want?

2. What are you doing to get it?

3. Is it working?4. Do you want to

figure out another way?

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Effective Communication in Conflict Situations

1. Spoken Words 2. Tone of Voice3. Body Language4. Emotions

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Negotiating Limits and Rules

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Dr. Harry Dinkle

Negotiating Limits and Rules• Be clear about

boundaries • Stick to them• Involve the group in

determining those limits

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Scenario 1

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Scenario 1The parents of a 16-year-old son set his Saturday night curfew at midnight.  

The first week, he comes in at 12:05. Is that OK? The parents trust him and they are so glad that he is home safe that they accept the late arrival and say nothing about it.

 

The next Saturday, he comes in at 12:15. The parents are again relieved that he is home and safe, and so again they say nothing.

 

The next week, he comes in at 12:30, and the parents freak out. They give him their very best lecture about trust and responsibility. The boy’s eyes glaze over as he listens.

 

What time will he come in next? Probably about 12:20. He splits the difference between what he understood was OK and what he knows is not. 12:15 was OK, 12:30 was not, so the real curfew time (originally set at midnight) must actually be somewhere around 12:20.

 

TRANSITION: What is the lesson here?

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Scenario 2

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Cooperative Approach

1. What do you want?

2. What are you doing to get it?

3. Is it working?4. Do you want to

figure out another way?

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Directive Approach• This is what I want.• This what I

understand you are doing.

• This is why that isn’t working for me.

• Here’s what I need for you to do.

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Leader – Group Contract

My Job is• To do all I can to ensure

your safety• To help you get the most

out of this experience• To be honest with you

and treat you with respect

Your Job is• To tell me when you don’t

feel safe.• To help me ensure your

safety• To be honest with me and

treat me with respect

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Ultimate goals of conflict resolution

• to build on common ground

• to listen • to find solutions

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Thank You!“Twenty years from now you

will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Mark Twain20