Conflict Management Conflict Management andand
Problem Solving Problem Solving (Under Pressure)(Under Pressure)
Presented byDr. De Hicks, CEO of SCGI
Performance Management ConsultingSeattle | Sacramento | Spokane
Lessons you’ve learned Appreciative Inquiry The Power of Assumptions Some Assumptions about Conflict Emotional Distortion and Conflict The Conflict Continuum The Power of Expectations Conflict Management Styles Essential Conflict Positions and Interests Complex Problem Solving Skills Root Cause Analysis
Overview of Today’s Class
Your Expectations
Today, I’d most like to address….
When are you at your best
…when dealing with conflict (both at work and outside of work)?
The Power of Assumptions
Current?
out-dated?tested?
Un-tested?Mine?
Borrowed?
Assumptions about Conflict
What are your assumptions about conflict?
Assumptions I have/ Those I hear from others
Some Specific Assumptions When conflict occurs, the relationship is forever
changed All conflict creates emotional distortion Some conflict is essential: no conflict, no change Most conflict occurs on two levels: Issues and
Styles Our primary tool for managing conflict is the
question Our primary for influencing conflict is the
conversation Most conflict issues are about expectations rather
than values
What are you genuinely curious about?
The General Adaptation Syndrome
ALARM!
COPING
EXHAUSTIONIs this threatening? Is this personal?
Stress = FEAR
FIGHT?
FLIGHT?
ALLOSTASIS
Stress, Stress and More StressAllostatic Load is created when…
Repeated frequency of stress responses to multiple sources (this includes perceived threats to self, income, life, and others). The body does not know the difference between perceived or real stress.
Failure to orientate (adapt to) repeated stressors of the same kind. Stated differently, this means we don't have a system in play (time management, organizational skills, de-escalation skills, and diet and exercise programs). We lack stability and our body adjusts to our instability.
Failure to turn off each stress response in a timely manner due to delayed shut down (the flame of emotional reaction lights too quickly, burns too hot, and burns for too long).
Inadequate response tells the body to compensate internally (if we don't work it out the body takes over) leading to maladapted state or a compressed allostatic load.
The Conflict Continuum
I have a problem You realize there’s a problem and now you have a problem
The Conflict Continuum
Need for Understanding
Demand for Action!
WE WARZONE
The Power of Expectations
VALUESWhy is this important?
What do I expect?
What are your expectations? and what else? and what else?
Why is that important to you?
What were your expectations? Why was that important to you?
The Bermuda Triangle of Communication
A
B
C
Wait… Have you talked to ___ about this?
You need to talk to ____ about this.
Conflict Management Styles
Cooperation (Relationships)
Assertiveness (Tasks)
Competing
CompromisingAccommodating
Avoiding
passive
active
Collaborating
Your Conflict Management Style
Essential Conflict
Conflict is essential when resolving it will create a new and better
future all parties agree that it was worth it innovation occurs other problems/conflicts are resolved
concurrently the relationships are strengthened other?
A word about drama…
or King
Perspective…
The common denominator for resolution of all essential conflict:
_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ C U R I O S I T Y
Positions and Interests
Position: How I think it should be done
Interests: Why this matters
If you were awake earlier, you notice that is just like Values and Expectations
Complex Problem Solving Skills (Especially Under Pressure)
Move. Check emotional distortion: What is the
threat? Reframe: Ask, what problem are we /am I
trying to solve? Check our / my assumptions about the
problem Imagine what the solution would look like Look for leverage Act on the leverage Reframe: Solved
Root Cause Analysis
WhyWhyWhyWhyWhy
My Plan
All Things Workplace
Communication Skills (7 hrs)Communication Skills (7 hrs)
Managing Emotional Pressure at Work (3.5 hrs)
Managing Emotional Pressure at Work (3.5 hrs)
Conflict Management/ Problem Solving Under Pressure (7 hrs)Conflict Management/ Problem Solving Under Pressure (7 hrs)
Fundamental Leadership Skills in the New Workplace (7 hrs)Fundamental Leadership Skills in the New Workplace (7 hrs)
Leading Teams (3.5 hrs)Leading Teams (3.5 hrs) Emotional Intelligence for Leaders (3.5 hrs)
Emotional Intelligence for Leaders (3.5 hrs)
Dealing with Difficult People (3.5 hrs)
Dealing with Difficult People (3.5 hrs)
Classes build on one
another
Or, take Classes in any order