Managing Difficult Situations and People BY

Omole Adetoun (ACIPM)

Learning Objectives

At the end of the sessions, participants should be able to:

• describe the different situations that are termed “difficult”;

• identify people that could be regarded as difficult; and

• state ways of managing difficult situations and people.

 

Introduction

• Life is in cycles and phases.• We all desire peaceful and joyful moments,

but some unexpected events come up that leave us shaken and disturbed.

• Sometimes, some people we have to interact with makes life seemingly unbearable.

• Understanding these occurrences and learning to manage them appropriately is necessary.

• Our ability to manage difficult situations and people reflect positively in our lives and equip us to support others in similar situations.

Content

• Learning Objectives• Introduction• Content• Characteristics and examples of difficult

situations• Characteristics of difficult people• Wrong approaches and reactions to

handling issues• Handling difficult situations• Handling difficult people• Conclusion

Characteristics of Difficult Situations

Physical changes e.g. break out in sweat, tears, increased use of the toilet, very high or very low blood pressures

• Disrupt planned schedules e.g. timetable or budget

• Bring about confusion in deciding on the way forward or the best alternative

• Increases high blood pressure (HBP)• Leads to emotional breakdown with feelings

of rejection or depression or even loneliness

 

Examples of difficult situations

• Hearing a devastating news

• Physically Related – Terminal illness, extreme changes in health or unexpected change of environment

• Emotionally Related – Bereavement, Separation or Divorce, Loneliness, Unwanted pregnancy, Loss of pregnancy

• Financially Related – Loss of means of income, or savings or investment, fire incidences

• Mentally Related – Failure, Complete or partial loss of memory

• Addictions or habits one is trying to overcome 

“Difficult” People

• You have negative feelings whenever you anticipate meeting them or even communicating with them; or whenever you have thoughts about them

• They leave you with negative feelings about yourself or situations

• They make you say or do what you don’t feel good about, or things you tend to always regret

• You are never on the same “page” and always seem to have conflicting opinions and preferences

• They are known to cause more chaos and confusion than order and peace

 

Managing difficult situations the right way . . .

• Be clear on the ones within your control and the ones out of your control

• Identify the cyclical ones, note it down in a diary or reminder to prepare psychologically for it, or put measures in place e.g. leaving early for an appointment as against rushing

• Have a support group; this could be family, group of friends, religious group or even one friend

• Try to develop a backup or alternative especially for financially related

• Express yourself without infecting harm on self or others….more for emotional ones where one is hurting and feels the need to cry

• Ask for help/collaboration• Seek professional

Difficult situations and people. . .

builds your resilience – you become stronger, “I never knew I had such capacity to withstand this problem...”

challenges you i.e. puts you on your toesempowers you to help/support others based on

your experience shows you your “true” friends and relatives

Managing difficult situations/people the wrong way Pretence - denial

Running away – avoidance

Reacting rather than responding

Keeping quiet when you ought to challenge the people or situation. Be assertive and don’t concede

Inability to seek appropriate and timely counsel

Failure to disclose the actual facts ( as the case may).

Becoming physical  

Manage difficult situations and people by....

• Having a positive image of yourself• Understanding the different personality types• Avoiding pre-judgments • Identifying the positive traits of these people

and leveraging on them• Discovering their expectations or issues and

working around it, especially if seasonal e.g. your boss, supervisor, parents/spouse etc

Class Activity

Discuss some practical ways of managing difficult situations and people that has worked for you

Conclusion As long as we are in this world, one is likely to be faced with situations

and people that are termed “difficult”.

Taking the wrong approaches whenever these occur leave one even worse than desirable.

Identify these difficult situations and people early enough and develop the ability and maturity to manage them.

With the experiences gained in this regard, one is also able to provide support to others who may be passing through such difficult situations.

Reading listsFor further study:• Heller, R. (1998). Communicate Clearly. Dorling

Kindersley Limited, London.• Templar, R. (2003). The Rules of Work. Pearson

Education Limited. Edinburgh Gate.• Ziglar, Z. (2006). Better Than Good. Thomas

Nelson. Nashville, Tenn.• Maxwell, J.C. ( 2007). Talent Is Never Enough.

Thomas Nelson Inc.

The End

Thank you for your attention, Bye for now.