MARRIAGE

Increasingly in the developed world research suggests that what most couples are looking for is…a SOUL-MATE

someone with whom I can share a deep, intimate, loving relationship and have children

A SOUL-MATE is

A SOUL-MATE MARRIAGE IS DIFFICULT TO ATTAIN BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE

There is today too much emphasis on happiness

as a kind of entitlement, rather than on the hard work needed to sustain

a successful marriage

But couples who work to improve their

communication skills are much more likely to stay

(happily) married

FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE…

All couples experience problems in their relationship. But working through them together brings you closer as a couple, strengthens your relationship and keeps you together.

The soul-mate idea of marriage fits in very well with what the Church says about marriage.

It is… a vocationa covenanta sacrament

A VOCATIONThat’s a calling from God

A COVENANTThat’s an unconditional commitment

A SACRAMENTThat’s a sign of God’s unconditional love

Marriage is GOD’s idea- not ours

It’s a VOCATION: a call from God

So God had two purposes in mind when creating us:

Each person is called to love. Jesus said:

“It is not good for man to be alone.”

“God made them male and female.”

“Increase and multiply and fill

the earth and make it yours.”

COMPANIONSHIPand PROCREATION

“What GOD has joined together let no man put asunder”

It’s the call God gave to

every couple from

the beginning,

as this text shows:

God calls EVERY couple into a lifelong loving relationship in which He wishes them to experience the joy of companionship.

God gives them the tremendous privilegeof sharing with Him in the continuing work of creation

It’s a call to live in an INTER-dependent relationship

God’s command to love applies to everyone.

and JOY

In disillusionment there is a dangerthat we will revert to our earlier way ofliving...living like a single personIN-dependent rather than

INTER-dependent

Living as ‘MARRIED SINGLES’

It is normal for every relationship to go through cycles of...

ROMANCE,

DISILLUSIONMENT

We can refuse to share our feelings OR...

We don’t have to stay in disillusionment. There is a remedy: to choose to love.

TO LOVE IS A DECISION

We have a choice

We can choose to rise above them, with the possibility of once again experiencing the JOY of a close relationship

COVENANTS - both parties make a solemn commitment to a certain course of action and in return receive certain benefits or blessings

For Christians,marriage is a covenant ofUNCONDITIONALLOVE

It has brought countless benefitsto mankind

God’s covenant love is

UNCONDITIONAL

He calls us to RESPOND in love

Jesus added a new dimension to loving:

“Love one another as I have loved you,” He said

JESUS’ death on the Cross is THE sign- the greatest evidence of God’s unconditional covenant love for us

Each person must freely consent to the marriage

There must be no impediments to the marriage.The priest or deacon will explain what this means

There must be no conditions to your consent:

e.g.I will marry, but if…or only if…I will marry you as long as…I will marry you unless…

If you have made aPRE-MARITAL AGREEMENTthe terms of the agreement may amount to conditional consent. If you have any questions about this, ask your priest or deacon

I will always be there sharing my love with you

 

You ‘gift’ yourself to the other and you ‘take’ the gift offered.

I promise...

“for better for worse, for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health (ourselves or our

children), to love and to cherish, till death us do part”

“I promise that whatever happens I will never stop loving you. I will never give up on our relationship, until one of us dies”

“Thank you for the greatest gift you could give me: YOURSELF. I promise to ‘cherish’ this gift, treat it with love, tenderness and care”

To live like this means continually ‘dying’ to self for the sake of the relationship.

This ‘mirrors’ the way God loves us, and the way Christ showed what loving means by dying on the Cross

He laid down his life for his ‘bride’, the Church.

God’s blessings come to us principally through the special signs of His love for us that we Catholicscall SACRAMENTS.

God’s blessings come to us principally through the special signs of His love for us that we Catholicscall SACRAMENTS.

There are seven: baptism, reconciliation, communion, confirmation, holy orders, the sacrament of the sick, and matrimony.

Each sacrament marks a major landmark event in one’s life.

Sacraments are SIGNS – signs of God’s covenant love… Through them He shows His concern for us and offers His help (grace)

The love that exists between them is the only love there is. They share this love with us, making it possible for us to love.

We believe as Christians that when we speak of ‘God’ we are speaking of three ‘persons’

the Fatherthe Sonthe Holy Spirit

They live in an eternal loving relationship.

The Sacrament ofMatrimony provides the help we need to show our love for each other, not just on our wedding day but throughout the rest of our married lives.

The marriage BOND is forged on your wedding day. But you take each other for better for worse, EVERY day. So you need to INVITE God into your life and ask his help EVERY day.

You marry each other. The priest or deacon is there as an official witness for the Church.

You freely and without reservation BIND yourselves to each other for life.

In the Eucharist Jesus makes present, under signs and symbols of bread and wine, his death on the Cross.

Catholics seek God’s help through prayer and especially whenthey celebrate the Sacrament of the Eucharist.

We believe this to be the GREATEST EVENT IN HUMAN HISTORY, and in holy communion we join ourselves to it, and draw strength from it.

This was the greatest act of love God ever showed towards human beings.

Through marriage you become a SIGN, a sign to the world of God’s love.

‘The Church’ means

‘The Assembly’So the couple are a ‘Little Church’

Jesus said to his followers:

“When two or three of you are ASSEMBLED in my name, I am there in the midst of you.”

So a Christian couple ARE the Church: ‘a little church’ - a community of love.

In their love and respect for each other, in their confronting and forgiving of one another, in their faithfulness to each other, a couple BECOME a living tangible ‘sign’ (Sacrament) of the ‘real’ presence of God in the midst of his people, the Church.

So the ‘little’ Church becomes a sign to the ‘big’ Church of the reality of God’s love and faithfulness. It is there for all to see in the relationship of this couple.

This is not a pious image. It’s a way of living that challenges and enriches those who seek to live by it in order to make it a reality.

Even when one of the partners is not a Catholic, couples can benefit by attending Mass together -and the church community as a whole also benefits.

Remember that your wedding service is YOUR service. You can select the Scripture readings, choose favourite hymns, even write your own prayers if you wish.

Discuss this with the priest or deacon who is conducting the service.

We are now going to role play the Marriage Rite. As you will see it’s a public statement of intent, witnessed by the priest or deacon and the community.

Married Couples sharing

Handout: Christian Marriage