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M A R R I A G E D I S C U S S I O N G U I D E

Mak e Your Mar riag e The Best It Can BE

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PURPOSE OF THIS GUIDEThis companion guide is to be used after viewing

the Marriage Retreatmovie. It offers you an

opportunity to evaluate the issues faced by each

couple in the movie through biblically based

discussion questions. We hope these questions

reveal the solution through your relationship

with God. Start your study with prayer, asking

God to give you eyes to see, ears to hear and an

open heart to understand.

FILM OVERVIEWWhen a group of best friends decide to go to a

Marriage Retreat in the mountains for no deeper

reasons than to relax and have a little fun, they

discover the true state of their marriages and how far

apart they have drifted. Once there, Dr. Sullivan

(Fahey) and his wife Katrina (Victoria) challenge

them to confront their own sin to heal their

relationship issues through some rather unconven-

tional methods with hopesthat thesetrials will draw

them closer to God. However, the couples continue

to struggle to resolve their issues as they are hope-lessly relying on their own strength. When it seems

like all is lost for them, true love is revealed and they

soon discover it's not what they are missing in their

relationships but who. This heartfelt film will make

you laugh, cryand cheer these coupleson to finding

their way back to the ONE they love.

COPYRIGHT INFORMATIONScriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New

International Version, NIV. Copyright

1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.

EPHESIANS 5: 25-27

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her

holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a

radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (NIV)

CAST OVERVIEWCraig Sullivan Jeff Fahey

Katrina Sullivan Victoria Jackson

Pastor Wexler Reginald Vel Johnson

Mark Bowman David White

Claire Bowman Andrea Logan White

Donna Harlow Anna Zielinski

James Harlow Matt Florida

Bobby Castle Tommy Blaze

Melody Castle Caroline Choi

Joey Brad Stine

FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO THE ONEYOU LOVE.

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THEME I: SELFLESSNESS

CALL TO ACTION

To get to a selfless place with your spouse you have to open your heart to each other.A great place to start is by simply examining how well you know each other.

1. How well do we really know each other? Take an online assessment of your relationship. There

are many available online. A great one to start with is Gary Chapmans Love Languages at

www.5lovelanguages.com.

2. Review your scores and discuss the results with each other. For additional resources visit Association

for Marriage & Family Ministries web site atwww.AmfmOnline.com

3. Now that you have more insight about one another, make a list below of ways you can address

each others needs.

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MOVIE Scenes to ReviewDonnas Counseling:(Chapter 9, 40:51-41:53)

Prayer:(Chapter 14, 59:00-59:55)

Chained:(Chapter 17, 1:10:46-1:12:35)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:Donna and James Harlow seem to be living two

different lives. Donna is getting ready for thebirth of their first child and James is pursuing

his love of acting. She feels they are not close in

the way they used to be and fears James is going

to leave her. Donna is relying on her relationship

with her husband to provide safety in her life;

however, after her counseling session with

Dr. Sullivan, she soon realizes her priorities are

in the wrong order.

James is a very talented actor who lives and

breathes his craft. He participated in CommunityTheater until he got his big break on a daytime

drama. With adoring fans and autograph

seekers, James loved the attention; however, he

didnt realize that this newfound stardom was

making Donna feel insecure. As a result, Donna

had become very controlling of James, which

had become an issue for him.

1. What does Katrina mean when she tells Donna you areseeking the wrong things to give you peace? How can

Philippians 4:6help Donna find safety and content-ment in her relationship?

2. During Donnas prayer she says God are you really

there?Can you relate to Donnas experience about ques-tioning the authenticity of God? What do you believe

aboutGods strength and protection? Where does Psalm

9:9-10say our refuge should ultimately come from?

3. When Donna finally confesses to James that she feelsthat his career is more important than his family, James

tells her that he is willing to give up his work as anactor. Is there anything in your life that you believe God

is calling you to give up to save your marriage?

4. When Donna figures out the triangle that Dr. Sullivandrew on her palm, she realizes her and Jamess priorities

for their marriage are out of order. What are the majorpriorities in your marriage? How will Psalm 32:7-8

help guide you in evaluating your priorities and findingsafety in your marriage?

SCRIPTURES REFERENCED:Psalms 9:9-10 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, astronghold in times of trouble. (NIV)

Psalms 32:7-8You are my hiding place; you will protect mefrom trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (NIV)

Philippians 4 :6 Do not be anxious about anything, but ineverything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presentyour requests to God.

THEME II: SAFETYPSALM 4:8

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety. (NIV)

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THEME II: SAFETY

CALL TO ACTION

Finding safety in your relationship with your spouse and God is a daily process.We all need reminders to help keep us on track. Lets start by creating one below.

1. Write God at the top point of the triangle.

2. Next, write the name of you and your spouse at the two bottom points of the triangle.

3. Finally, write the word SAFETY in the middle space of the triangle.

Let this be a reminder of how becoming closer to God will bring you

closer as a couple and provide the safety you need.

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MOVIE Scenes to Review

Bobbys Counseling:(Chapter 8, 33:55-35:24)

Melodys Counseling:(Chapter 9, 39:56-40:50)

Chained:(Chapter 17, 1:12:41- 1:14:28)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

Melody and Bobby Castle are trying to get by

the best way they know how. Melody says

Bobby is always looking for some get rich

scheme and is gambling as a way to support his

family. Unfortunately, he loses most of the time.

Melody lives in constant fear that they will lose

everything. She is desperately seeking security in

her relationship.

On the other hand, Bobby says his wife giveshim no respect. He feels she constantly rides and

nags him. Bobby was making a great living in

the housing market when he met Melody.

However, soon after they were married, the

housing market crashed leaving Bobby without

job prospects. Bobby wants to be able to provide

the security that Melody needs.

1. How can Psalm 111:5 begin to ease Melodys fears?Do you have constant fears in your marriage?

2. Bobby turns to gambling to make money for the familyonly to be feeling inadequate and disappointed.Luke 12:24 tells us that God will take care of us just ashe does the birds. How hard is it for you to look to Godas your sourceand strength? Do you believe God canandwill intervene in your situation?

3. Both Melody and Bobby are need of guidance. How canPsalm 23:1-3help them find that security and guidancethey both seek? Areyou lookingto Godas your shepherd?

4. When Melody gets angry with Bobby for getting themlost, she says he cant do anything right - words shenever would have uttered when they were first married.Melody has let their circumstances change her. Howare your circumstances making you a different person?How is it making your marriage different?

SCRIPTURES REFERENCED:Luke 12:24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap;they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And howmuch more valuable you are than birds! (NIV)

Psalm 111:5 He provides food for those who fear him; heremembers his covenant forever. (NIV)

Psalm 23:1-3The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. Hemakes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quietwaters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right pathsfor his names sake. (NIV)

THEME III: SECURITYLUKE 12:29-31

And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.

For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. (NIV)

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THEME III: SECURITY

CALL TO ACTION

Take some time at this moment to think about you and your spouses financial concerns.If you have some, then here are some steps to help guide you to a solution.

1. Write down at least 3 financial issues that have been burdening you both. For example,

retirement, savings, or overspending.

2. Create a plan below to address each of these issues. If overspending is a problem, then you can

develop a budget to keep daily expenses under control.

3. Most importantly, if you dont know how to create a budget or how to handle credit card debt then

seek professional advice. A great place to start is Crown Financial Ministries. Visit them at

www.crown.orgfor financial, spiritual teaching and resources from a Christian, biblical perspective.

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COVENANT PLEDGE

I promise to honor, love and respect my bride/husband. I promise to serve my wife/husband

with grace based, sacrificial love as Christ so loved the church. Amen!

Name Date

FINAL THOUGHTSFOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

God has a beautiful plan for you and your marriage covenant. God performed the first marriage cer-

emony in the Garden of Eden between Adam and Eve, and later gifted us the perfect plan for rec-

onciliation and redemption through the Cross - with Christ as our Bridegroom. Mark 10:5-9 tells

us that Gods plan for marriage was to create a unity of one. Your ultimate marriage relationship is

closer than you think. So, take that next step and recommit your marriage to the Lord and make

that covenant pledge to one another. Now, begins your journey to finding your way back to the

ONE you love.

SCRIPTURES REFERENCED:

Mark 10:5-9It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law, Jesus replied. But at the beginning ofcreation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no oneseparate. (NIV)

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manycoupleswill learnlessons from this film.

The Dove Foundation

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