Marriage in Pakistan

Marriage inPakistanis a legal union between a man and a woman. Culturally, it is not only a link between the husband and wife, but also an alliance between their respective families. Pakistani Wedding EventsGiven the diversity ofMuslims, some of the most common events that are held in a Pakistani marriage include variations of the following. Marriage Proposal, Engagement, Dholki, Mehndi (Henna), Barat, Nikah, Registration, Reception, Rukhsti (Farewell),Valima (Walima), and Honeymoon. The only Islamic requirement is the Nikah and Valima. Other events are cultural additions and Registration is usually a legal requirement. Each is described in more details below. Muslim Weddings, PerfectMuslimWedding.comMarriage processArranged marriages in Pakistan often take long periods of time to finalize. The time from preparation until wedding day may be more than a year. When the wedding date approaches, all close relatives are invited for a typical Pakistani wedding that requires a considerable budget in order to accommodate them. However, a typical Pakistani wedding has at least three main customs involving the Henna ceremony (Rasme Henna), the vows or the Nikah which is a part of the actual wedding orShaadiceremony, and a subsequentWalima offered by the groom's family.Proposal partyA proposal party is a reception held at the bride's house, where the groom's parents and family elders formally ask the bride's parents for her hand in marriage

EngagementAnengagementis a formal ceremony to mark the engagement of the couple.It is usually a small ceremony that takes place in the presence of a few close members of would-be bride's and grooms families. Rings and other items of jewelry among affluent families are exchanged between the would-be bride and groom. DholkiThe Dholki or Dholak celebration takes its name from the percussion instrument Dholki, which is featured heavily during this wedding celebration. Traditionally, many days or even weeks before the actual wedding day, women will gather in the house of the bride at night to sing and dance while accompanied by percussion instrumentsMehndi

Mehndi the Henna ceremony, or the Rasm-e-hennaceremony, typically takes place one or two days prior to the main wedding day. The event is traditionally held separately for thebrideand thegroom. The henna is symbolically placed on the couple's hands. The groom's friends and family bring along sweets and henna for the bride, and the bride's family does the same for the groom. In the bride's ceremony, the groom normally does not participate, and similarly on the groom's event, the bride stays at home. Female guests are sometimes offered mehndi at the host's discretion.

Barat

Baraat is the procession of the family, relatives, and friends of the groom and they accompany the groom to the brides home for the official wedding ceremony. The groom makes his way to the bride's home on a richly decked horse or car and the barat follows in different vehicles. Usually they are also accompanied by a band playing wedding songs. The groom is given a warm welcome by the brides family with flower garlands and rose petals thrown upon the procession by the bride's sisters, cousins and friends.Nikah

A bride signing the marriage contract,Nikaahat a Pakistani wedding .If the couple areMuslim, aNikkahis performed. A marriage contract is signed by both the bride and the groom in presence of their parents and close relatives. Wedding is illegal without a Nikah. The Nikah is performed by a religious person who has the license issued by the government to perform this ritual. Wedding of nationality (LLC, 2013)

WeddingThe groom usually arrives at the wedding with a band playing dhols, trumpets and horns - signalling the arrival of the men's side of the family. Families and friends enjoy a wedding ceremony in a marquee.A dinner is served which consists of several dishes with meat featuring heavily in the meal. Some of the well represented dishes in a wedding meal includepullao,biryani,chaanp,chargha, various forms of roasted fowl and lamb, various forms ofkebabs,naan,Shirmal,Taftan,Falooda,Kulfietc. . Rewaj - All About Women Lifestyle Blog Archive Wedding in PakistanRukhsati

TheRukhsatitakes place, when the groom and his family will leave together with the bride. TheQur'anis normally held over the bride's head as she walks from the stage to the exit (or if the ceremony is being held at home, to the main entrance of the house) in order to bless and protect her. This is a sombre occasion for the bride's parents as it marks the departure of their daughter from their home. The departure of the bride becomes a very emotional scene as she says farewell to the home of her parents and siblings to start a new married life.

Shab-i-ZifafShab-i-Zifaf(golden night/maiden night of married life) refers to the couples' first night together and it occurs after the bride has left for the groom's house.Walima

Walima is the final day of the wedding held by the couple as they host their first dinner as husband and wife. This is traditionally organized by the bridegroom and/or his family thus, without his parents; this ritual normally cannot be performed. So to make Walima valid, the parents' blessing and presence is the most important factor.The groom's family, specifically his parents, invites all of the bride's family and their guests to their home for a feast.

References "Pakistan, Islam in - Oxford Islamic Studies Online". Wedding by Nationality (2013) "Pakistan".State.gov. Retrieved 2012-09-07. Muslim Weddings, PerfectMuslimWedding.com Rewaj - All About Women Lifestyle Blog Archive Wedding in Pakistan Wedding Traditions in Pakistan The Fiqh Of Walima

Hindu wedding

The wedding ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely or at least partially inSanskrit, considered byHindusas the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the people involved is also used. The Hindus attach a lot of importance tomarriages, the ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home - entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof - are sometimes decorated with colors, balloons and other decorations.Process of Wedding:The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in Hindu weddings -Kanyadaan,Panigrahana, andSaptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps with each step includes a vow/promise to each other before fire.The Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially aVedicyajnaritual. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire)Agni, in the presence of family and friends.

Eight types of marriage

1. Brahmamarriage - considered the religiously most appropriate marriage, where the father found an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is now most prevalent among Hindus in modern India.2. Daivamarriage - in this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with ornaments to a priest as a sacrificial fee. This form of marriage occurred in ancient times when yajna sacrifices were prevalent.3. Arshamarriage - in this type of marriage, the groom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride and the father exchanges his daughter in marriage. The groom took a vow to fulfill his obligations to the bride and family life (Grihasthashram).4. Prajapatyamarriage - in this type of marriage, a couple agree to get married by exchanging some Sanskrit mantras (vows to each other). This form of marriage was akin to a civil ceremony.The above four types of marriages were consideredprashastamarriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism). The other four were consideredaprashasta(inappropriate).Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:5. Gandharvamarriage- in this type of marriage, the couple simply lived together out of love, by mutual consent, consensually consummated their relationship6. Asuramarriage - in this type of marriage, the groom offered a dowry to the father of the bride and the bride, both accepted the dowry out of free will, and he received the bride in exchangeThe last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless).7. Rakshasamarriage - where the groom forcibly abducted the girl against her and her family's will. The wordRakshasameans devil.8. Paishachamarriage - where the man forces himself on a woman when she is insentient, that is drugged or drunken or unconscious.

Hindu Marriage (kanai l. Mukherjee)Rituals:There are a few key rituals common in a Hindu wedding ceremony. Kanyadaan- the giving away of daughter by the father Panigrahana- a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union Saptapadi- is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or short quicker form, sometimes also in the language of the groom and bride. In many weddings, Saptapadi is performed near a fire; and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual ofagnipradakshinam- walk around the fire, with part of each other's clothing tied to each other. The fire is a form of yajna - a vedic ritual where fire is the divine witness (to the marriage).After Saptapadi, the couple are considered husband and wife.Kanyadaan

Kanyadaan- a key ritual where the father gifts away the daughter to the groom. In this picture, the father's hand is on the left, the bride and groom are on the right.The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father.If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while thekama-sukta(hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit ofdharma(moral and lawful life),artha(wealth) andkama(love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit ofdharma,arthaandkama. The groom repeats the promise three times.The groom's promises to brides father mark the end of thekanyadaanritual in Hindu wedding.Panigrahana

The ritual ofPanigrahanacomes afterKanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded byvivaha-homarite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.Panigrahanais the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happinessI ask thee, to live with me, as thy husbandTill both of us, with age, grow old

Know this, as I declare, that the GodsBhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon methat I may fulfill, my Dharmas of the householder, with thee

This I am, That art thouThe Sman I, the c thouThe Heavens I, the Earth thouSaptapadi

A Hindu couple in post-marriage ceremonies, afterSaptapadi. The tied clothing, represents lifelong bond formed during the seven promises ritual with fire as witness.TheSaptapadi(Sanskrit forseven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage.The couple conduct seven circuits of theHoly Fire(Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other.In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand.Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit.The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual,Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each otherOther Rituals:Many Hindu weddings start with theMilne(meeting) andSwagatam(welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where theBaraat(groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. TheBaraattypically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed byJai mala(garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.Some rituals involverice or other grains, such as Chortaan Ka Tel, Vaaynoovi, Dholi, Sai Kai. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain.After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known asGrihapravesa(home coming/entry).This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.References BBC News article on Hinduism & Weddings, Nawal Prinja (August 24, 2009) Hindu Saskras: Socio-religious Study of the Hindu Sacraments The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Hinduism: A-M, James G. Lochtefeld (2001),ISBN 978-0823931798, Page 427 Modern Indian Family Law, Werner Menski (2001) Hindu Marriage ( KANAI L. MUKHERJEE )