Marriages

Traditions and Lore

From Patterson (2006) the Bride

Selecting a spouse

Unwed women have sometimes relied on love charms and divinations to foretell future husbands and happiness:

On Christmas Eve, stand in front of a fireplace and gaze into the flames to see your future husbandOn All Hallows Eve, brush your hair three times in front of a mirror. If you glimpse a man standing behind you, wedding bells are in your future within a yearPeel an apple in a single strip and toss the peel over your left shoulder: the shape will reveal the first letter to the name of your future spouseWhen attending a wedding, take home a piece of the groom’s cake and place it under your pillow – The face of your future spouse will appear in your dreamsUse the plucked roots of wild daisy under your pillow to see your future husband in your dreams

Matches made in Heaven

Chinese Lore suggests the gods unite each couple at birth with an invisible red cord. The cord is shortened with time – a matchmaker helps the predestined find each other.20th century American dating involved time together on a swing or a drive-in movieRural Dutch and English Colonial emigrants used “Bundling” ( bundling board separated lovebirds dresses or partially dresses sharing a bed) to save on heating costs and some pregnancies as outcomes

Men show their love:

Welsh men woo their beloved by carving an elaborate carved wooden spoon – if she accepts him, she used a ribbon to wear it around her neck as a sign of betrothalRural Polish men express feelings by going to her home and inquiring about the purchase of a horse – if he displays vodka wrapped in ribbons and flowers, she’ll know the visit was not about the horse. To ask to marry, he requests a glass. She accepts by bringing the glasses and her family. African village men send their female family members to arrange a meeting between the families and the village elders. The man brings gifts of livestock, grain, money and produce to show he can provide for her and her family

Rings and Engagement

Roman husbands promised commitment with rings of iron or loops of a door key to a matrimonial homeAncient Egyptians to perfect circle or ring represented a supernatural link to eternal loveMen’s wedding bands became fashionable during the WWII as a tangible link for young husbands posted overseasThe Celtic love knot ring is a symbol of eternity, unity, and fidelity, and made of intertwined, never ending lines Old Irish tradition presented his intended a woven bracelet of human hair as a symbol of his unending love

What’s in a stone for engagement?

Sapphires promise happinessEmeralds mean jealousy unless you're Irish or born in May – than they're LuckyPearls are shunned as they are "oyster's tears" and feared to bring a weepy marriage unless you're Asian – than they "stop newlywed tears" and bring marital bliss and good healthDiamonds are "lucky" and ward off jealous and evil spirits – and promote fertility. They symbolize eternal and singular love and soothes marital arguments

Showering the bride

The modern shower tradition originates from Holland – 300 years ago, the daughter of a well to do Dutchman fell in love with a miller. Dad disapproved of the poor miller for giving flour to the less fortunate and refused to give his daughter a dowry. Her friends and neighbours showered her with gifts and blessings to allow her to marry her true love after all.

Bridal attire - superstitionsSomething old – (eg. heirlooms) to link to family rootsSomething blue – purity and fidelity in a biblical sense . Ancient Israelites were the first to wear blueA veil shields the bride from Evil Eyes. Some African tribes braid their hair as a veilGreek brides tuck a sugar cube in their glove to ensure sweetness in the marriageSwedish brides leave their shoes unfastened during the ceremony in hopes that childbirth will come easilyEurope and American brides slip a coin in their shoe for happiness and wealthIrish brides carry a horseshoe with ribbons for luck

The Bridesmaids and GroomsmenThe western tradition of bridesmaids originates from the practice of protecting the brides with similarly dresses young women (including veils) to act as decoys and confuse potential kidnappers (bride stealing Anglo-Saxon and Germanic marauders).

Bridesmaids ward off harmful spirits who might place a curse on the couple's happiness

Early Greek maidens (aged 15) were escorted by a happy married, fertile women so that good fortune will rub offThe groomsman were the "right-hand man to the tribesman" to assist in snatching the "bride-elect". Additional friends ensured a successful raid and sometimes resulted in the groomsmen stealing a bride of his own.Extreme measures to ensure the success of the wedding :

Danish couples and their wedding parties used to exchange sex roles when dressing for the wedding Ancient Jewish brides were clad in armor, helmet and weaponry

The day of the wedding day

Preparation of the bride can includespecial baths, sometimes days in advance of the wedding ( Moroccan, Egyptian, China, Jewish, Navaho)Full body massages and henna designs (Moroccan, Egyptian, India, Nigeria and Ethiopia)Facial paint

Korean – red dots on cheeks and foreheadMasai – ochre paint on face and hair; Indonesia - patterns of white dots on face

Weight loss ( American)Weight gain to look voluptuous, fertile,

and beautiful ( Nigeria, Togo and Tanzania)

Bridal colours

Napalese and Indian brides wear gold threaded sarisNative American bride dresses indicate the four directions of the earth – North (Black), south ( Blue), east (white) and west (yellow) Spanish Roman Catholics wore black silk and lace mantilla as a dedication to the image of the Virgin MaryChina and Japan where red with phoenixes and ornate head dresses made of kingfisher feather, pearls, and silver guild; layers indicate level of royaltyBlue is the colour of Irish, Amish, and jewish brides to reflect purity, love and fidelity

Ceremonial Symbols

Scatter rose petals and sweet smelling herbs for sweetness and fertilityMyrtle and orange blossoms in honour of mythical goddess of love Garlands of ivy for faith and strengthCandle flames as a spiritual reminder of light, earthy fire, hearth and home1001 origami cranes made by Japanese brides as cranes mate for life and Butterfly motifs decorate fans etc in Korea as represent everlasting love and beauty

Wedding ritualsAll include processional, blessing, vows, unifying ritual (eg exchange of rings), and a nuptial kiss

Jewish come together under a chuppah or canopy (sanctuary of new home) Chinese elder woman holds an umbrella over the bride's head during the ceremonyPolynesian couples marry under a kapa (bark cloth) and North Americans often choose an arbor of flowers so that marriage will grow and flourish.Hindu couples take the ceremonial seven steps or Saphi Padhi around a flame together and make specific promises to each other for health, happiness etc.In Hawaii, couples exchange leis and rub their noses to celebrate their nuptial bondChinese couples participate in a tea ceremonyJapanese and Korean Shinto ceremonies unite the bride and groom with sake

Dancing in celebration

Crown Dance of Norway (gold and silver bangled headdress on blindfolded bride who catches single friends and share the crown) Chair Dance of Jewish tradition ( Guests hoist chairs with the bride and the groom) Money Dance of Poland, Phillipines, and Hawaii ( Guests pay to dance with the bride and groom) Sock Dance of French Canada ( single siblings wear colourful embloidered socks and get teased) The Tarantella of Italy ( Bride and grooms dance and exotic dance that increases in speed leaving couple breathless and exhauted