Married in Montana

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Contents:

Words to wed by . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

To-dos of saying “I do” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

Three weddings, a dozen ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16

Things we . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22

12-month countdown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26

Your big-day budget . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28

Cover Photo by Erika Peterman Photography

Words towed by

You don’t have to look pastMontana’s own writers for a good

ceremony reading

The Beatles said, “All you need islove” and Bruce Lee said, “Love is likea friendship caught on fire.” Eva Gaborsaid, “Love is a game that two can playand both can win” and Plato said,“Love is a serious mental disease.”Whichever of these philosophies yousubscribe to, we might all agree thattrying to talk about love—and, there-fore, finding just the right quote orreading for a wedding—isn’t easy.

The Bible, Pablo Neruda andShakespeare are classic sources forreading material on matrimony and truelove. But if you’re looking for somethingdifferent, you have to dig a little deeper.Billy Collins, the former poet laureate,wrote a great poem called “Litany,”which both makes fun of and embracesthe game of love metaphors, providing

some comedy and ending sweetly.There’s also a great reading fromDouglas Adams’ So Long and Thanks for Allthe Fish when Arthur falls for Fenchurch.

One thing about Montana is thatwe’ve got a lot of good writers here—poets who see love in the landscape andgritty novelists who are secretly roman-tics. You can find funny stuff with lovelylines, and if you want, fishing metaphors.

Suicidal fishDavid James Duncan’s The River Why

has become a classic next to NormanMaclean’s A River Runs Through It. It’s astory about fishing, rivers and the envi-ronment, but ultimately about relation-ships among people. Toward the end hegets to the crux of what love is and whatit does to you, and he does it in a very

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unsentimental Montana way that will still bestirring at any ceremony.

“People often don’t know what they’retalking about, but when they talk about lovethey really don’t know what they’re talkingabout. The one sure thing you can say aboutlove is that there isn’t much you can sayabout it. Not that you shouldn’t try. You canmake analogies; love is like lots of things.One thing it’s like is a trout stream: try tocapture a trout stream with a dam and youget a lake; try to catch it in a bucket andyou get a bucket of water; try to stick itunder a microscope and you get a close-uplook at some writhing amorpohous micro-cooties. A trout stream is only a troutstream when it’s flowing between its owntwo banks, at its own pace, in its own sweetway. Love is also like poison oak...it’s highlycontagious. Scratch it and it gets worse.Touch other people with it and they catchit too. What love is not like is your averagefish; if love was a fish it would be suicidal: itwants to get caught. —David JamesDuncan, The River Why

Thousands of mindsWhen talking about the expanse and

power of love, Missoula playwright JoshWagner used a very far away place—the SilkRoad—to wow Montana viewers during thedebut of his play Salep and Silk a few years



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ago. In that story, a character finally fig-ures out what love really is:

“I think I’m onto something. No onecan be in love, but two? Three? A thou-sand? Love is what happens in the spacebetween minds. The wind between thebranches. The weed emerging atop thesea, the mind arising from the body.Thousands of minds drifting east to westand west to east along this road, andthousands and thousands of roads goingeverywhere. I know who we are now. Iknow who I am.” —Josh Wagner, Salepand Silk

As real as thisLike most complex poets, Montana’s

poet laureate, Sheryl Noethe, doesn’tdelve into cheesiness. In fact, her worldfeels equally dark and light, pained andexultant. For weddings, of course, youhave to keep the mood celebratory, butthere’s nothing wrong with readings that

feel a little more mysterious.

...This turn we take together,the language of line drawing.

The A that was once an oxen, dog leaping at the tree,

paws curled like faux wingsin the sign for angel.

Say you dream of a man foryears.These dreams leave you full of love.

What is the word for it? I need thisword.A molecule split open and entered.

My body, which cannot lie,which is chainedto the truth of childhood, age and illness

Is completely convinced.Each dream of you, as real as this.

—A snippet of “Unis Versum” fromSheryl Noethe’s The Ghost Openings

Let us not squanderOther Montana writers offer only a

few appropriate lines about love, whichcould easily be used for the inside of yourwedding program. Award-winning poetMelissa Mylchreest, for instance, oftenwrites about characters who seem toapproach life and all its beauty and sor-rows without fuss and often alone, whichdoesn’t quite work for a wedding. But inone poem, she captures what romanticpoets have been getting at for centuries.

so be still, lay here and leave yourshape in the grass by mine. The hour’sours, the art. Let us not squander.—A snippet from “A Storm King”

from Melissa Mylchreest’s Reckon.

In just a few lines, she gets to theheart of it: The invitation to share yourtime on earth with a person is a power-ful thing. And Montana writers sure knowhow to strike that chord.

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With do-it-yourself and self-relianttrends all the rage, it’s no wonder thatwriting your own vows has come intovogue. In fact, it’s nearly a requirementto pen your own vows if you’re hopingto create a unique, personalized, detail-oriented wedding these days.

So let’s imagine you're one of thosecouples who wants to eschew traditionand recite your own lyrics to your part-ner. Where do you start?

According to a Charlottesville, Va.,interfaith minister, Claire Goodman,vows can be broken up into two differ-ent parts: the “Declaration of Love” andthen the “Promise,” or actual vows.

“I know it seems obvious, but I’vehad some people leave off the prom-ise— they get into the ‘I love yous’ andtell stories, but forget to say the prom-ise,” says Goodman. “It’s nice to have apersonal declaration in front of friends

and family, but the promise is the wholepoint of it.”

If composing your own promisesseems too intimidating—what exactlyshould you promise to do forever?—then Goodman recommends writingyour own declaration and going withmore traditional vows. That way youcan include some of your personalityand stories, but not have the pressureof coming up with the actual vows allon your own.

“Write letters to each other andshare them,” suggests Goodman.“Guests love it—it’s like looking througha curtain into their relationship.”

Most ministers or officiants have ahandy stack of vows taken from variousfaiths or sources that they can send youto help you get started. If you want tocompose your own completely originalvows, they’re a jumping-off point. You

DIY vowsThe to-dos of saying your own “I do”

by Stephanie Marie Garcia







-

-

can see what are traditional things topromise one another and not feel likeyou’re pulling out of thin air. Or, if thethought of writing something original istoo overwhelming, you can mix andmatch from these already written vowsand create a message all your own.

“Sometimes writing your own vowsis such a high ideal that couples stressthemselves out too much about beingbrilliant and original and funny,” saysGoodman. “What’s important is thepromise.”

Goodman suggests heading onlineto look for non-traditional vow inspira-tion. There's also, of course, the Bible,books of poetry or, for more artisticpeople, song lyrics that can inspire yourpromises.

There’s also the sticky issue of religion:What if you're completely religious andyour partner is not? Goodman reminds usthat vows do not have to be completelyidentical; you don’t have to make theexact same promises to each other.Writeyour vows within your comfort zone, shesuggests, and be open to receiving yourpartner’s promises knowing they createdthem just for you. “People assume youhave to say exactly the same thing, whichis not the case,” she says.

If you’re getting married in a churchceremony, talk to your minister; whilesome churches require you to use vowsof a certain faith, some have more flex-

ibility; this is a place where reciting yourown declaration and using traditionalvows might be the best route to meldcreativity and convention.

And then there are the silly vows.Everyone thinks immediately of writingsilly or lighthearted vows when they goto create their own. Humor is a greatway to break the ice and feel more

comfortable during what can be anemotional experience, but don’t forget,these are sincere, heartfelt and realcommitments you’re supposed to bemaking. Throw in one or two “I promiseto wash your socks,” or “I vow to loveyou even when the Grizzlies beat theCats,” but weave them in among morewholehearted statements.

“It's a matter of speaking from theheart,” says Goodman. “Saying what youneed and want to say, and making a realpromise.”

Stephanie Marie Garcia is the wed-ding editor for Charlottesville Va.’s weeklyThe Hook.



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No matter what advice you get, no matter how much wed-ding traditions are revered, the truth is, no two weddings arealike—and that’s the way it should be. Weddings are a celebra-tion of love, but they’re also a celebration of two different per-sonalities uniting. Weddings that really reflect a couple’s char-acter are often the most fun, whether they incorporate down-to-earth bonfires or fairytale flavor. In the hope of inspiring you,we profile three couples who made their wedding days trulytheirs by blending just a handful of ideas.

Manon Damboise & Rob DuffHow they met: Rob and Manon met nine years ago

when they ended up sharing a cab in Costa Rica. After fourhours talking together they went their separate ways—Robback to Park City, Utah and Manon back to her home inQuebec. They kept in touch over the years, even when Robmoved back to his hometown of Missoula. Two years ago,Manon quit her job and moved to Missoula, too. They wereengaged in Hawaii and married in late August.

Bliss in the details

Three wedding days that offera dozen ideas


Chad Harder Photography

Wedding location: The Barn atFinley Point. The Barn, on the east side ofFlathead Lake, is a gigantic, 5,000-square-foot refurbished barn that sits on a hilloverlooking a bucolic farm and theMission Mountains. The grassy bowlbelow reveals a pond with waterfalls,weeping willows and a gazebo—perfectfor an outdoor ceremony. Nearby is afenced-in pasture where a few bull cattlelive (beware: drunken guests should notbe encouraged to get any crazy ideas).There’s a dance floor and plenty of room

for guests to park RVs and set up tentsfor a full-on wedding slumber party.

Dressing chambers: Thegroom’s room is a rustic sanctuary thatfeels like the exact place you go for a fewshots of pre-nuptial whiskey. Big gameheads stare out in a stately fashion fromthe walls and the bear rugs and antiquetools would make Teddy Roosevelt drooljust a little. “It’s very manly,” says Duff,laughing. Upstairs in the loft is theroomy honeymoon suite where thebride and bridesmaids can dress. The bal-

cony is perfect for getting hair and make-up done al fresco.

Je t’aime:With Damboise’s friendsand family speaking French and Duff’sspeaking Montanan, or, uh, English, thecouple decided to have a bilingual wed-ding. They hoisted Montana and Quebecflags at the barn and had English andFrench readings during the ceremonyand bilingual toasts after the dinner.

Easy breezy decorations: Thebarbecue dinner, catered by Missoula’sBurns St. Bistro, was a heavy meal to

throw down the hatch. But on decora-tions everything else was light andbreezy. Damboise designed her owncenterpieces made of fresh lemonschopped in half bordering a vase ofwheat, all on a glass plate lit with LEDlights.

Burn, baby, burn: Nothing saysMontana romance like a roaring bonfire.The fire pit was a great place for post-wedding and post-dancing relaxation,especially for friends who brought theirguitars for late night sing-alongs.




Chad Harder PhotographyChad Harder Photography

Mikel Yuhas &Tyler Hoffman

First date: The Montana Club

Wedding location: Linborg-Cregg Field, home of the Mavericksbaseball team. “Tyler used to play forthe Mavericks,” says Yuhas. “We knewwe wanted an affordable outdoor wed-ding. Having it at [the field] popped intoour heads and we kind of ran with it.”

Invitation to play: The couplesent out invitations in handmadeenvelopes that looked like baseball tick-ets. The ticket stubs served as the RSVPcards.

The set-up: Tables under a whitetent revealed centerpieces made ofsmall plastic baseball caps filled withpeanuts and traditional stadium pop-corn. Guests could line up at the candybar and get Swedish fish, Starbursts,Skittles, lollipops and baseball gum, allmeant to evoke concession-standgoodies. The three-tiered wedding cakewas white with baseball stitching andeach layer held up with little baseballbats.

The ceremony: Bridesmaids andgroomsmen entered the baseball dia-mond from separate dugouts andwalked up to home plate before split-


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ting off. Their ceremony songs were“Crazy Girl” and “Farmer’s Daughter,”at the pitcher’s mound where the cou-ple was married. The ringbearer carrieda sign that read “Batters up!”

Home-run memories: Thecouple rented a photo booth forfriends and family to pop in and takenice, whacky and candid photos ofthemselves, which provided the couplewith tons of entertaining pictures tolook at long after the wedding was over.


Dax Photography

Dax Photography

Mel Mauro &Ben Burns

The proposal: On Saturday morn-ing, Jan. 2, 2011, Mauro got into theshower for her normal routine. Whenshe stepped out she saw “Will youmarry me?” written on the bathroommirror. Burns had written it in shavingcream and then wiped it clean so thatthe words would only magically appearwhen the mirror fogged up.

We d d i n g l o c a t i o n :Heritage Hall at Fort Missoula.Fort Missoula was established bythe United States Army in 1877and it has a lot of interesting his-tory as a home to the BuffaloSoldiers and as a prison camp forItalian POWs. The 1906 Hall usedto be the military gymnasium, butrenovation of the neo-classicalbuilding makes it look like a granddining hall from a Southern estate.The grassy lawn around it is greatfor an outdoor ceremony andlawn games.

Decorations for (almost)nothing: Mauro spent a full yeargathering all the wedding decora-tions. “I did that instead of spend-ing a lot of money to buy every-thing at once,” she says. Her

patience paid off. She found the itemsshe really wanted for a good price byperusing garage sales and thrift stores.One of her most cherished finds: whitepaper lanterns, which added a romanticatmosphere when they were hung in theHall in a zig-zag over the tables. She bor-rowed vases instead of buying them. Shecreated her own centerpieces with yel-low fabric flowers, which she cut thestems off to create tiny pools of floatingflowers and candles inside the vases.


Mike Williams Photography Mike Williams Photography

For the guests: No one remem-bers generic wedding favors, especiallynot bowlfuls of candy that can be eatenup in no time. Burns and Mauro madetheir candy more significant. Theyordered M&Ms in ivory and otherunusual colors and had different pic-tures of themselves—including photosfrom their engagement—screen-print-ed onto each piece.

Surprise success: Two DJs fromRMS Entertainment provided the musicfor the night. Mauro says they went aboveand beyond what she expected. “Theyhad our whole schedule down,” she says.

They introduced the wedding party,announced when to eat and when totoast. “And at the end of the night,” saysMauro, “they got everyone [pumped up]and out on the dance floor. Everyone.”

Montana luxury: Mauro wanteda cake with simple elegance. On theoutside, the four-tiered cake showedoff an ivory glow with its buttercreamfrosting, champagne pearl dots and cas-cading daisies. Inside was decadent.Cutting into the cake revealed twotiers of yellow cake with chocolatemousse filling and two tiers of whitechocolate huckleberry mousse.

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Thingswe∫

A list of short, sweet,wild and woolly items

to punch up yourwedding day


“Start the Year with a Smile”


Expressing your identity at awedding isn’t always easy, espe-cially when everyone has an opin-ion on how a wedding ought tobe. Go wild if you want to(though your idea of having yourcat as a ringbearer might notwork). But even more traditionalweddings can be revived with afew little details. Here we give youa handful of emerging trends welove that buck the system justenough to make your weddingmemorable.

Little white dressEvery romantic comedy about

weddings makes a gaudy dressjoke. Horrified brides wind up in apoofy wedding dresses with toomuch lace. Bridesmaids stand for-lorn in matching outfits of a shim-mering Peptol Bismol shade. It’sfunny in a movie, but in real life,don’t do it! Hip brides are taking adifferent route, including allowingbridesmaids to pick out their owndress-styles. Our favorite trend:the knee-length wedding dress.The cocktail look is classic andclassy, whether the cut is mod orgirlishly sweet. You can wear abold sash with it or wild shoes.And if you’re really into rebellingagainst old-guard purity rules,forgo a white dress for vintage

blue, blush, gold or...red. Hell, it’syour day.

Jar of heartsMason jars remind us of simple

times when Grandma cannedpeaches or pickled green beans.They’re one of the most versatileobjects you can employ at a wed-ding. Fill them with candles andhang them from trees as lanternsfor a romantic, fairytale atmos-phere during the wedding dinner.Use them as wildflower vases forcenterpieces (you can even paintand decorate them to give them af lash ier look) . Also, forgetunwieldy stem-glasses. Give yourguests mason jars as wine glassesfor a down-home vibe. It mightmake your snobby relatives fromManhattan cringe, but everyoneelse will swoon.

Vroom groom In the past, the bride's gotten

all the attention. Boo to that.Today’s groom is a lot more fash-ionable, whether he’s hipster orcowboy or a James Bond fanatic.We love a little flair when it comesto groom-style: cowboy hats andbelt buckles or checkered skinnyslacks or the gentlemanly seer-sucker. Sunglasses and cigarsencouraged, but not required.



Stylish sipping Kegs of beer and jugs of wine are

great for the reception, but howabout tickling your guests’ tastebuds just before the ceremony withsome infused cocktails? We have asoft spot for rosemary-infused sim-ple syrup—which you can makequickly and easily—mixed withvodka and tonic. If you want toinfuse the vodka itself, make sureyou do it at least two weeks aheadof the wedding day. There’s a pletho-ra of good fruit and herb recipesonline.

For your spirits, check out local joints such as Missoula’sMontgomery Distillery, 129 W.Front, in Missoula where theymake Quicksilver Vodka, or RidgeDistillery, 19 Artemisia Way, inKalispell at 756-5964.

Plants aliveYou can be creative with flower

bouquets in Montana, especially ifyou peruse the farmers markets orplant your own patch of wildflowersahead of time. The problem is, flow-ers eventually die. That’s why welove living plants as an alternativecenterpiece. Gather Montana succu-lents from the farmers markets orfrom local gardening shops and plant

them in antique-looking woodenplanters or woolly pockets. They’lladd charm to the wedding and,when the “I-dos” are said and done,the plants can come home with youas a symbol of forever. At least untilyou forget to water them.

Find woolly pockets and succu-lents at Habitat Floral Studio, 211N. Higgins Ave.

Immortal napkinsWeddings have, until now, creat-

ed a lot of waste. Ditch disposablenapkins for charming bandanas in arainbow of colors from classic redto goth black to cheery aquamarine.Fold the bandanas near the dinnerplates and let your friends and fami-ly pick their colors. The cloth servesits function during dinner and worksas a souvenir for your guests toremember how cool you are.

Check out Army Navy AdventureSource at 130 E. Broadway.

Time for pie!Cake is good, cupcakes are

great—pie is awesome. Now thatfarmers markets have blown up inand around Missoula, you won’t havetoo much trouble finding fruit forpie—peaches from Paradise, applesfrom the Bitterroot, cherries from



the Flathead—to create a dessertblitzkrieg. Go pumpkin or pecan.Do it up the Montana way withhuckleberry. At a wedding table,pies add yet another rustic detailto your day.

Call Bernice’s Bakery at 728-1358, Break Espresso at 728-7300or email Pete the Pie Guy [email protected].

Book itThis one’s for the detail-ori-

ented bookworm. It’s time-con-suming but worth the work.Months before the wedding, digthrough second-hand bookstoresand garage sales to find just theright book for each of yourguests. Rachel Carson’s SilentSpring for the avid environmental-ist. Jorge Luis Borges for the poet.A Swedish cookbook for theadventurous food connoisseur.The books serve as placeholdersfor the wedding dinner and pro-vide a gift that says thanks farmore personably than any knick-knack could.

In Missoula check out TheBird’s Nest, 219 N. Higgins Ave.,and The Book Exchange, 2335Brooks St., for good deals.





12 Months •Research wedding venues and their

available dates•Set the date•Make a budget (See “Common

cents,” page 27)•Research and book ceremony and

reception venues•Book rehearsal dinner location•Make appointments with potential

wedding planner, photographer and/orvideographer, and band or DJ

•Research caterers•Choose a wedding theme and style•Put together your list of guests and

their correct addresses

11 Months•Select a wedding planner•If you don’t have a wedding planner,

start making a list of everything you’llneed at the wedding and receptionfrom chairs to garbage cans to a PA sys-tem

•Select and book a caterer•Book band or DJ or delegate

friends to start making playlists•Choose ceremony music•Book photographer and/or videog-

rapher, make photo list•Start looking for a wedding dress•Schedule rehearsal time•Mail save-the-date cards•Choose an officiant and meet with

him/her to discuss ceremony

12-monthcountdown

A step-by-step guide on how toreduce wedding pains

•Decide on decorations and colorscheme

•Meet with caterers and arrange fortastings

•Choose wedding party membersand make sure they commit

10 Months•Choose and order wedding dress•Obtain permits for an outdoor

wedding at a public place (park, recre-ational area)

•Discuss duties with attendants•Provide attendants guidance on

what they will wear•Start collecting decorations—

whether buying or borrowing. (See“Three weddings,” page 16)

9 Months•Register for gifts •Decide on the food and liquor

served at the reception•Prepare a playlist of reception

music•Select or order accessories for

bride and groom•Research airline, hotel and rental

car information for guests•Research parking and local trans-

portation options for guests

8 Months•Get fitted for your bridal dress,

invite maid of honor to attend•If you’re providing bridesmaids and

groomsmen outfits, choose and orderthem now

•Research wedding ring styles•Research and select centerpiece

items, bouquet, flowers and bouton-nières

7 Months•Meet with wedding planner to

review details, or go over your list to

make sure you haven’t missed anything•Select attire for flower girl and ring

bearer(s), if applicable•Choose and order design, wording,

font and paper stock for invitations,table cards and thank you notes

•Arrange a printer and hire a callig-rapher, if necessary

•Determine order of ceremonyevents and choose wording for programs

•Book hotel rooms for guests•Select and order wedding rings

6 Months•Review and approve proofs of wed-

ding invitations•Try on different tuxedo styles at

formalwear shop•Discuss attire with groomsmen and

suggest formalwear stores•Select rehearsal dinner menu•Discuss honeymoon destinations

5 Months•Place print order for programs•Finalize honeymoon destination•Select a baker for wedding cake •Place cake order and arrange for

delivery

PROBLEM: Your parents want youto invite your second cousins who younever see, plus some of their collegefriends to be there on your big day—andeach of those people will want to bring aguest.

SOLUTION: Make a list of allpotential guests and then figure out howmany guests you want (or can afford) andwho really needs to be there. Sit downwith your parents and discuss their list,allowing them to pick a few people impor-tant to them. It is your day, but sometimesthe fallout isn’t worth the fight.

PROBLEM: The truth is, you don’treally need a lot of stuff, but you coulduse money for your honeymoon to Italy.But asking guests for money seems sotacky.

SOLUTION: Make a website foryour honeymoon as part of your registry.Provide a wish list of places you’d like tostay—that vineyard in Tuscany, forinstance—or things you’d like whenyou’re there. Let guests sponsor itemsand experiences for you, and promisethem a postcard in return. You’ll get thefunds you need and your guests will feellike they’ve contributed to a concretepart of your experience.

PROBLEM: You’ve picked a mutu-al friend to officiate the wedding, andthough you want him to be creative withyour ceremony, you want some say inhow it’s done.

SOLUTION: Provide your friendwith a cheat sheet of how you and yourpartner met and any other sweet, fun orhelpful details. Your officiant will appreci-ate the help, and it’ll ensure that the cer-emony will feel fresh without unwantedsurprises.

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4 Months•Print labels and hand address or

have calligrapher address invitations•Write or choose wedding vows

(See “The to-dos of saying ‘I do’” page10)

•Have wedding party and fathers fit-ted for tuxedos

•Make honeymoon reservationsand deposits

3 Months•Review and approve printed pro-

gram proofs•Book venue for post-wedding

brunch, if applicable•Make appointment with hairdress-

er to discuss wedding hairstyle•Update or add items to registry•Discuss bachelorette/bachelor

party plans with attendants•Create hotel info cards and maps

to include with invitations

2 Months•Visit the ceremony venue and

determine where bride, groom andtheir attendants will get ready

•Purchase stamps for wedding invi-tations

•Book a hotel room or weddingsuite for wedding night

•Purchase gifts for wedding partymembers

•Arrange transportation for brideand groom from ceremony to reception

•Purchase ceremony accessories,such as champagne glasses

•Get the marriage license

6 Weeks•Send wedding invitations•Write thank-you notes as you

receive gifts•Confirm music selections with musi-

cians or DJ or get copies of playlists fromfriends and family

•Reserve a PA system, if applicable•Select menu for post-wedding

brunch•Write newspaper announcement•Shop for wedding favors for guests

(See “Things We heart” page 22)•Visit hairstylist for practice session

and make wedding day appointment

4 Weeks•Select ushers and special guests who

aren’t attendants and delegate duties forbefore and during the wedding day

•Confirm floral order and arrange fordelivery or pick-up

•Meet with ushers and assign dutiesfor the ceremony and reception

•Determine placement or distribu-tion of programs at the ceremony

•Determine dinner seating forguests, if applicable

•Pick up wedding rings and checkengraving

•Meet with attendants to discussdetails

•Visit makeup artist for practice ses-sion and make wedding day appointment

•Schedule appointments for mani-cure and pedicure for the day beforethe wedding

•Finalize plans for the photographerand/or videographer and determinetheir arrival times at the ceremony

•Finalize honeymoon plans and

confirm travel and hotel accommoda-tions

•Arrange for care of pets, plantsand mail during honeymoon

•Schedule pickup and return ofgroom’s formalwear

3 Weeks•Finalize reception guest list•Call guests who have not RSVPed•Give the final headcount to cater-

er and review details•Arrange for delivery and place-

ment of wedding flowers, candles andother decorations for wedding day

1 Week•Start packing for honeymoon•Pick up wedding dress•Arrange payment with band or DJ,

caterers, photographer, etc.

Wedding Day•Eat a good breakfast•Go to hairstyle and makeup

appointments•Give yourself time to get ready•Relax. Everything will be fine.

PROBLEM: You’re a do-it-yourselfkind of person. You could probably bakethe wedding cake, decorate the receptionhall and hand-design the invitations. Noproblem here, right?

SOLUTION: Don’t do it all yourself.Pick one thing you’d like to be hands-onwith and do it ahead of time. By the timeyour wedding’s weeks away you’ll be gladyou delegated duties to your attendants.Feel free to map everything out for themhow you want it, just don’t make yourselfmiserable executing the tasks yourself.

Reception: 48%Site rental, staff and tip, cake, food,decor, drinks, rentals

Photographer/Videographer: 12%Photo fees, additional prints, albums,etc.

Apparel: 10%Wedding dress, veil, jewelry,hair, make-up, tuxedorentals, shoes

Music: 8%Wedding and recep-tion, musicians, DJ,sound systemrental

Flowers: 8%Ceremony,bride’s bou-quet, atten-

dants, reception, corsages, flowerpresentation

Stationery: 3%Save the date cards, invitations,stamps, programs, guest book

Rings: 3%Rings and engraving costs

Favors and Gifts: 3%Wedding party, guests, welcome

bags, etc.

Ceremony: 3%Site rental, officiant, mar-riage license

Miscellaneous: 2%

*Be sure to allot somemoney for a honey-moon if that’s in yourplan.

Commoncents

How to be smart with your big-day budget

Money is the least glamorous, leastfun part of wedding planning. This issupposed to be about love, right?Money doesn’t matter! Unfortunately,experts say money is the number onething—besides, perhaps, how to han-dle your in-laws—that will put youand your spouse-to-be into a pre-matrimonial malaise if you don’t takethe time to talk about it.

Knowing you want a lot of beer atthe reception won’t be helpful if you

haven’t considered how much moneyyou’ll need for music to get yourguests dancing. Here’s a generalbreakdown of how much couples allotfor each aspect of their budget.Whether you’re getting financial helpfrom family, whether your budget isbig or miniscule, it’s good to knowyou’ve got the essentials covered.Once you’ve got that in order, all youneed is love—and some helpful bridalattendants.

Kristine Paulsen PhotographyErika Peterman Photography


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