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Missoula Independent Page 2 Married in Montana 2011

Married inMontana

Contents:

Dressing the part . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

Vows changing with the times . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

Getting married in a recession . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

Location, location, location . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

Wedding insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22

Cover Photo by Deserae Pollack Photography

317 S. Orange St.Missoula, MT 59801

Phone number:406-543-6609

Fax number:406-543-4367

E-mail address:[email protected]

Thea Delameter, Random Task Engineer


By Ali Gadbow

Before the caterer andbefore the flowers, one of thefirst decisions to be made whenplanning your wedding is howthe wedding party will be clad.In reality, this may be your onlychance to see your best friendsand family dressed the way youwant them to dress, so make themost of it.

Of course, what everyoneelse wears ultimately dependson what you’re wearing and howyou want to show it off.

First and foremost: Brides,find your wedding dress early.You pretty much sealed the dealwhen you decided to get mar-ried, so don’t dither when itcomes to choosing a dress. Bedeliberate. Plan to spend sometime in the store. At first glance,

a bridal shop can look like anocean of white gowns; you’llneed some time to orient your-self. Take advantage of theexperts. These people thinkwedding all day, so it is definitelyworth your while to ask ques-tions.Give yourself a dress budg-et before you go shopping. If youtell the retailer what you wantto spend upfront, she can navi-gate that sea of dresses for you,providing an efficient, positiveshopping experience.

At Rococo Bridal & FormalWear,wedding gowns ranging from$99 to $999 fill the cozy shop justnext to its parent store, My Sister’s Closet. Co-owner RebeccaWagner says that after a few yearsin the consignment business, sheand her sister, Deborah Stebbins,noticed an unmet need for afford-able bridal gowns.Deschamps Photography

Dressing the part


“We try to keep all of our gownsunder $1,000, and we have quite aselection. People are surprised howmany dresses we have in a town thissize.We do tuxes, bridesmaids... pret-ty much a full-service bridal shop.Westock all sizes, from zero to 28, so ifpeople are in a time crunch they canbuy off the rack if they need to, andplus it’s nice to be able to try some-thing on in your size.”

Wagner teaches a seminar onchoosing a wedding gown to flatterevery body type at Missoula’s weddingfair, and she knows that what flattersa size six may not be right for a size18.

“I do carry one designer that onlydoes size 14 and up,” she says. “A lotof designers just take the same dressand make it bigger, but these dressesare actually made for a curvier per-son, so it’s nicer.”

Rococo’s offerings for this year,purchased through bridal shows inDallas and Los Angeles, include thenewest trends in cuts and fabrics.One-shoulder styles are popular, andball gowns are coming back,with tulle,netting, elaborate flowers and plentyof detail. On the other hand, ultra-simple dresses are also in, according

Hohanna Rose Photography


to Wagner. Either way, shesays, “sleeves—unless youneed them for religious rea-sons—are pretty much non-existent.”

White gowns with just atouch of contrasting colorhave been common over thepast few years, but that lookis losing ground. Instead, asubtle, all-over non-whiteshade is in. Champagne, gold,lilac, and mother-of-pearl arepopular.

“I saw, this year, a lot offeathers,” says Wagner, “notjust on the headpieces butincorporated into the dress-es. I saw feathers every-where: in bouquets, head-pieces; I saw feather flowerson the dresses, like at thewaist.”

Tie-on belts are also hot,with silky backing in mix-and-match whites and sparklingcrystal beadwork. Veils aren’tas much a part of the bridalcostume as they used to be,but birdcages—made of thatstructured netting you see on

fancy hats—are making aretro splash.

It never hurts to callbefore you shop. DoreenBreza, owner of BeautifulWeddings, always recom-mends making an appoint-ment. Her fittings are free,

and you are guaranteed twohours of personal attention ifyou schedule with her first.

Breza, who has owned andoperated the store for eightyears, does her own customalterations.“I’ve made dressesfrom scratch,” she says. “I

know the dresses inside andout.Whatever the girl wants,I customize it to her, so eventhough ten different girlsmight get the same dress,they never look the same.”

Breza also knows wed-dings inside and out.Anything

you might be curious about,she probably has a word ofadvice. For example, secureyour beaded belt with afavorite brooch, maybe a fam-ily heirloom. Getting marriedoutside? Put plastic stoppersover your spiked heels andyou won’t sink in the grass.Want to carry a handkerchiefto keep your mascara frommisbehaving, or lipstick for aquick touch-up after the kiss?Check out dresses withpockets. They can come inhandy.

Plus, says Breza, “If you’retalking with someone, youcan put your hands in yourpockets, and you won’t crossyour arms in front of you.Crossed arms can say ‘I’msick of talking to you’ sopockets are absolutely huge.”

And while you’re at it,don’t forget mom. Mostmothers go a little nuttywhen their children get mar-ried. Make sure that, in all herplanning, she remembers toget herself a nice dress.

Dawn Alicia Photography



P r i c e s a t B e a u t i f u lWeddings range from $100to $3,000. And if a dress isdiscontinued, Breza sells itoff the rack for 50% off.

“It’s sold as-is, which isusually pretty darned good,”notes Breza, “because wekeep our dresses in top con-dition.”

Kim Klages Johns hasnoticed that a lot of Montanabrides have been breakingwith tradition lately. Asowner of J. Elaine’s, she hasbeen providing Missoulianswith prom and special eventdresses for 15 years, andbefore that, she was in thebridal business.

“I think a lot of peoplewho live in Montana and getmarried in Montana do sofor the aesthetic beauty ofthe countryside, and conse-quently get married outside,”says Klages Johns. “Beingmarried outdoors does notlend itself to traditional wed-ding gowns with long trains

because they would bedestroyed. I think a lot ofbrides, in particular in ourarea and probably across thestate, do nontraditionalbridal gowns, either smalltrains or no trains, justbecause it lends itself betterto being outdoors.”

If it’s your second weddingand you don’t want the bigwhite gown,or if you’re sayingyour vows on a ski lift, a non-traditional dress might be thebest way to go. Your perfectwedding gown might not bewhite satin, but it can still bea special, one-of-a-kind dress.Check out styles originallymeant for gala events, forproms, or even for brides-maids.You may find just whatyou were looking for.

And As for theBridesmaids….

Thirty years ago whenKim Klages Johns landed herfirst job at a bridal shop, shesays, “bridal gowns were


bridal gowns, bridesmaid’sdresses were bridesmaid’sdresses. Nontraditional wed-ding gowns, that sort of thing,is probably within the last tenyears.”

And as for bridesmaids,she continues, “it was veryconsistent: you ordered abridesmaid’s dress, all sevenof your girls wore the samebridesmaid’s dress and thatwas that, whether they likedthem or not. It’s definitelymore popular now for thebride to say ‘pick your owndress.’ It’s not that the focushas changed from the bride,but there’s more considera-tion for the bridal party thanthere used to be.”

Unless you have a very generousbudget, your attendants are probablyshelling out for their outfits, sochoose something, or let them picksomething, that they can wear again. Ifnone of your pals share your love oflilac, save it for the flower arrange-ments. A little guidance doesn’t hurt,though. Consideration is one thing,

but losing control of the wedding’slook is another. Couples might discov-er just how much they care aboutconsistency in the wedding party byimagining the wedding photos.

Send your attendants colorpalettes or fabric swatches to match ifyou plan to let them shop on theirown, or if you have a more precisevision, visit your favorite bridal shopand choose the colors and fabrics

yourself, then let your attendantschoose the style.

Consider going with a color themeinstead of a single color, suggestsKlages Johns.

“Someone might say, ‘we’re gettingmarried at 6:30, and all my brides-maids are in sunset colors,’” she says.“You pick a theme. Everyone is in apastel, or everyone is in a jewel tone.It’s not a specific color; it’s all different

colors. And this was alsocompletely unheard of in thepast.”

Hot colors for brides-maids this year include burntorange paired with hot pink,shades of gray, yellows, andbright greens.

The MenIn ultra-casual Montana,

grooms and groomsmendon’t have to do much moreto make a big impressionthan put on a well-cut tux,but the little details reallyseal the deal. If the bride is inany shade of white, be sureto match the men’s shirts toher dress, or to the shade

that their companions will wear. Askyour bridal retailer to help you matchthe men’s vests, ties, or pocketsquares to the bridesmaids’ dresses.

Lately, according to RebeccaWagner, vests and long ties are thestyle, rather than bowties and cum-merbunds, and gray is making a come-back in several shades.

“Gray tuxes are definitely some-


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thing we haven’t seen since the late‘80s, early ‘90s,” she says. My husbandhad a gray tux when we got married,so that’s twenty years ago!”

Ask About ExtrasBridal shops and formal wear

retailers are full-service businesses,offering plenty of perks in return foryour business. Most stores that sellformal wear can refer you to a trust-ed local seamstress or tailor. Suchspecialists rarely advertise because, asa seamstress named Kathy puts it,“myphone won’t stop.” Kathy says shegets plenty of business through refer-rals from several local stores.

“It’s a dying art and it’s got lots ofliability involved with it. You have toknow what you’re doing, you have tobuild up trust with everybody, includ-ing your stores.”

At Rococo Bridal, Rebecca Wagnersays she likes to pass the savings on tocustomers whenever she can order inmultiples.

“For our bridesmaids’ dresses,”she says, “every time you order threeor more you get a 15 percent dis-count on all of them. It’s not any more

work for me to sell two or to sellfour, just a few more measurements,so I pass that on to the customer, andI also save on shipping.We also pressand steam all of our dresses; whetherit’s from the $99 rack or the $999

rack, if you bring it in about a weekbefore the wedding, we’ll press it foryou.”

Seal the DealWhatever color scheme and style

you choose, it’s best to make sureyour wedding attire is a good reflec-tion of who you are and how youwant to start your lives together.And remember... the pictures will lasta lifetime. 0

Mike Williams Photography

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By Jennifer Savage

It seems the modern wedding cer-emony lost “obey” a long time ago.But what are today’s couples promis-ing each other as they tie the knot?The following is a list of a few oftoday’s more popluar themes.

• Marriage is a big commitment butoften people are entering into it aftersome life experience.They have liveda little and have a sense of who theyare. They have goals and they arepromising their future partners thatthey will help them meet their owngoals and are expecting that promisein return.

• Today’s couples are promising tonurture their partners and to helpthem grow. This may seem timelessbut it speaks to a couple’s connected-ness and willingness to embrace theidea that their partner will not alwaysbe the person they are on the day of

the wedding. People grow and so docouples. Nothing says trust like givingsomeone the space to grow.

• In these hard economic times,couples are promising to love eachother through good times and bad, intimes of prosperity and times of need,in times of celebration and times ofchallenge. These promises are likelytaking on new and deeper meaningsfor today’s couples.

• Some couples are choosing touse more inclusive language in theirwedding ceremonies. Some are substi-tuting “spouse” for husband and wife.Some are promising to be “spouses”for eternity as well.

• Couples also seem to be aimingfor mutual respect as they promise tospend the rest of their lives together.They are vowing to respect andhonor each other. Much like promis-ing to help each other grow, this vowseems to level the playing field and

Saying “I do”

Vows changing with the times

Deserae Pollock Photography

Our beautiful outdoorcourtyard is a perfect setting for spring,summer and fall weddings.Call for more information


put both partners on equal ground.• If you are considering writing

your own vows for all or part of youwedding, the following are a few tipsto help you avoid some pitfalls thatmight arise.

• Talk to your partner. This mayseem obvious but make sure you areon the same page with your soon-to-be-spouse about why you are writingyour own vows and how you wantthe process to play out during yourceremony. How long are your vows?Are they meant to be the ceremonyor only a portion of it? Will you havenotes with you at the altar or memo-rize your vows? Are there any themesyou want to work with?

• Decide on a style with your part-ner. You don’t want to be crackinginside jokes about a rafting trip youtook two years ago and have your

partner quoting Rumi. Someonemight get their feelings hurt. Are yougoing to be funny or serious?

• If you are not going to carrynotes the day of your wedding, prac-tice your vows – a lot.

• Consider a short reading as partof the vows you say to each other. It

can take some of the pressure off ofyou and your partner and still beextremely personal. Search for some-thing together from writers you bothlike.

• Lastly, talk to the person conduct-ing your ceremony. This person haslikely done this before and can help

guide you to portions of your ceremo-ny where your vows would fit the best.This person can also share stories withyou from other ceremonies of what didand did not work well.

Sample vows:You have captured my heart, my

spirit and my imagination. From thismoment forward, I promise to love you, to support you and laugh with you. I promise to encour-age you as you explore the world,support you in your desire to grow,and join you on life’s journey. I will lis-ten to you and approach you gentlyand with sensitivity. I will do every-thing in my power to guard ourfriendship. I will never forget that youare my best friend. 0

Brooke Barnibbe Photography

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Missoula Independent Page 13 Married in Montana 2011Missoula Independent Page 12 Married in Montana 2011

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Rococo Bridal & Formalwear1900 Brooks St.Missoula, MT 59801406-327-0291See our vintage dress exhibit!

Lucky Strike Restaurant1515 Dearborn Ave.Missoula, MT 59803549-4152

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Dollar Rent-A-Car1905 W. BroadwayMissoula, MT 59808406-542-2311

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Getting marriedin a recession

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By Jennifer Savage

When so much about planning a wed-ding has to do with budgeting and the giveand take between what you can and can-not afford and what you can and cannotlive without on your big day, getting mar-ried during one of the worst recessions inrecent memory can’t be easy.

But today’s couples seem to be rollingwith it. The bottom line on planning awedding on a budget and still having thewedding they want seems to come downto a couple things: creativity and commu-nication. They’re prioritizing their wantsand balancing them with how muchmoney they have to spend. And duringthis recession it seems they are willing totake it one step further and are really tak-ing the time to figure out what is mostimportant to them about their weddingday – not what’s expected from everyone

else or what traditional bridal guides saythey should want.

The following are some areas wherecouples are trimming costs and still get-ting the wedding of their dreams:

VenueSome couples are putting a spin on

where they get married, choosing placesthat are public (and cheap), retail spotsthat are fully decorated, or heading backto church. Significant savings on where theceremony takes place can free up cash fora live band at the reception or an extrafew days on the honeymoon.

HoneymoonBut speaking of honeymoons, some

couples are opting for a “staycation.”Instead of spending thousands of dollarson a trip, they are working on house proj-ects like painting the kitchen, or justDeserae Pollock Photography

enjoying private time in their ownspace after such a monumental eventas a wedding. They are choosing restand relaxation over travel and someare happy saving a bit for a destinationvacation in the future when they canmore easily afford it.

Guest listCouples are trimming the guest

list and opting for smaller, more inti-mate weddings. Fewer people – evenjust ten fewer – can cut down signifi-cantly on the cost of the reception.Couples seem to be inviting exactlythe people they want to see on theirwedding day and feeling less guiltabout not inviting distant family mem-bers or family friends that live acrossthe country.

Colin Ruggiero Photography

Missoula2915 North Reserve St

406-541-7427www.famousdaves.com


DecorationsIn Montana, the scenery can do all

the decorating for you any time ofyear. Couples are choosing to takeadvantage of it by getting married inbeautiful locations and keeping deco-rating to a minimum. Some are gettingcreative with low-cost table center-pieces made out of things such as mir-rors, lights or small rocks.

Rather than flowers, some atten-dants are instead carrying streamers,which add color but not a lot of costto the occasion. Groomsmen arewearing boutonnieres made of allsorts of things – from baling twine tofall leaves – in lieu of flowers. A littlecreativity, and perhaps some helpinghands from friends, can not only saveyou money in this area, but can helpmake the occasion uniquely yours.

ReceptionThe reception is often one of the

most expensive line items on any wed-ding budget but couples are findingways to save money and still celebrate.Rather than having a band or DJ for theentire evening, some couples are cut-ting that time down to just an hour orso, and playing their iPods the rest ofthe night. Kegs and cases of wine cankeep alcohol costs down and a pared-down menu can feed the masses with-out draining your bank account.

Some couples find they can’t livewithout live music and choose to hirea band and have a barbeque instead ofa salmon dinner. Others can’t handlethe thought of not serving elk steakbut can live with a playlist or two forbackground music. It’s all about priorities.

PhotosWith the one thing that many say

you just can’t scrimp on, couples arefinding ways to get great photos at

less expense. Many couples hire aprofessional photographer for themore formal pictures and are askingfriends to supplement by taking addi-tional pictures on the big day.

Websites such as Flickr and Picasaallow many users to upload to a sin-gle album so guests can share theirpictures. Couples can send the link towedding guests to view and orderprints. In this way couples get the bestof both worlds: they spend a portionof their photo budget on professional

photos and save the rest by askingfriends for help.

Going localBecause the cost of travel can be

prohibitive and destination weddingsrequire asking guests to pay to attendnuptials, many couples are sticking closeto home and using local vendors insteadof asking their friends and family to flyto Hawaii for their wedding celebration.They save money (as do their guests,usually) but they also put money intotheir local economy and give their busi-ness to local shop owners.

Staying trueDuring a recession, couples still

want a day they will remember forev-er. They still want to look back andthink of it as the day they promised tolove each other forever and it seemsunlikely that they will even rememberall the places they had to trim to staywithin budget. But the process ofplanning a wedding on a budget duringa time when money may not be asflush as it was three years ago, couplesare coming back to what a weddingday is all about: standing in front offriends and family and, with their sup-port, pledging to be to together forev-er – in sickness and in health, for rich-er or poorer. 0

Colin Ruggiero Photography


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By Jennifer Savage

Choosing a place to get marriedcan be a daunting task. A venue isoften one of the largest expensesof a wedding and given our financialtimes, couples are looking to trimthat expense. It means that somepeople are getting creative andlooking at some not-so-likelyplaces to get married and savingtheir money to rent an ideal spotfor a reception.Take a look at someof the types of venues that won’tbust your budget:

Go publicWhen you start to consider

public spaces, take a look at yourlocal county courthouse. Is it his-toric and stately? Could you imag-ine getting married there in a pri-vate ceremony then throwing aparty somewhere else afterward?Consider museums, libraries,spaces on the university campus.

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Mike Williams Photography

Often these places are free or low-cost. But remember you may have totrim your guest list if you use one ofthese spaces because they may not be able to accommodate a giant wedding.

Back to churchIt seems it’s come around again.

Even if you are not a regular churchattendee but you grew up in a localcongregation, you could tip your hatto tradition and plan your ceremonythere. You would have built-in décorand plenty of seating.

Get outsideConsider a local park for a small

outdoor ceremony. Missoula is dot-ted with them in varying sizes, with arange of accommodations. Tree-linedwith a creek running through, or alarge open space, in the heart of townor on the edge, Missoula has a lot oflow-cost outdoor options. Checkwith the city parks and recreationdepartment before you make a planand they can help guide you. Deserae Pollock Photography



Dawn Alicia Photography

photo by Ruebens Photography

BeautifulPavilion

A perfect setting for a wedding orreception, the Caras Park Pavilion lies in the heart

of Downtown Missoula and next to theClark Fork River.

Call the MissoulaDowntown Association

at 543.4238 for reservationsmissouladowntown.com

Caras Park

meetingsnorthwest.com/specialevents.html

T-Free: 866-633-8110T F 866 633 8 0

Brooke Barnibbe Photography

Get out of townHow about saying your vows on the

banks of the Clark Fork, the Blackfootor the Bitterroot rivers? Or taking ashort walk up your favorite trail to thatwaterfall you walked to on your firstdate? Western Montana is filled withbeautiful off-the-beaten-path spots tomake your day special. Again, you mayneed to opt for a smaller guest list ifchoosing one of these sites but let’s faceit, our little neck of the woods is knownfor its beauty, so why not take advantageof it. One note: make sure everyone onyour guest list can access the site; inother words, make sure grandma canhike to the spot you’ve chosen.

Think retailIt may sound strange but some cou-

ples are choosing to get married in theirfavorite retail spaces. Everything from artgalleries to bowling alleys is on the tablein terms of options these days. Usuallyyou don’t have to worry about too muchdecorating, set up or clean up. Thesespaces generally come with nominal fees.

Just stay homeSome couples are returning to the

tried and true by getting married athome. A cozy ceremony in your livingroom or back yard would certainly keepexpenses to a minimum and it could alsoallow you to put a much more personaltouch on your day and ceremony. Ahome wedding could also redefine yourliving space in the most positive way,deepening your connection to yourplace. 0

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Formerly The Tux Store


Wedding insuranceWhy adding a little expense to your wedding budget could save you in the end

By Jarett Laden

Brides spend weeks andmonths worrying about whatcould go wrong on their weddingday and doing all they can todeter a major wedding disaster.Unfortunately, no amount ofplanning can prevent some disas-ters.Wedding insurance – a rela-tively new insurance offering –can provide brides, grooms andtheir parents some peace ofmind, so their big day isn’t ruinedby a big financial disaster.

Couples can purchase a wed-ding insurance policy that canhelp them deal with any numberof situations that may arise, aswell as provide liability coverage.As wedding costs soar, some-times reaching the tens of thou-sands of dollars, the relativelyinexpensive premium can helpprotect the couple and their fam-ily’s major investment in one of

the biggest events of their lives.Every bride crosses her fin-

gers that her crazy cousin Bill orwild bridesmaid Anne will be ontheir best behavior at their wed-ding, but wedding venues haveseen it all and know that this isn’talways the case. An increasingnumber of venues are requiringthat their clients purchase a wed-ding insurance policy with liabili-ty coverage in case a guest isinjured or causes damage toproperty.

Wedding insurance is also asmart decision for couples orparents who are serving alcoholand want the peace of mind ofhaving extra liquor liability cover-age, especially if they are hostingthe wedding at their own homeor at a friend or family member’sproperty. Even when someone ismonitoring alcohol consumptionand driving, there is still a risk ofa guest getting in an accident, and

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no couple wants to start their lifetogether dealing with a million-dollarlawsuit.

Wedding insurance can also helpcover those uncontrollable elementsthat disastrous wedding stories aremade of – from repairing or replacinglost or stolen wedding rings, thebride’s wedding gown or groom’stuxedo, to reimbursing a deposit if avendor goes out of business, declaresbankruptcy before the wedding orsimply fails to show up.

If severe weather washes out thebig day or a sudden illness preventsthe bride, groom or their parentsfrom attending and forces the wed-ding to be postponed, wedding insur-ance can provide reimbursement fornon-recoverable expenses.The insur-ance can also reimburse non-recover-able expenses if the wedding is post-

poned due to the bride or groomunexpectedly being called to duty orif her or his military or service leaveis revoked.

The coverage doesn’t stop afterthe wedding either. If gifts are dam-aged, wedding insurance can help withrepair or replacement cost. And if

wedding photos are ruined due to aphotographer’s film being defective,or if negatives or digital files are lostor damaged, wedding insurance canhelp reconvene the wedding party totake new photos or video.

Wedding insurance can also offercouples comfort, so they can focustheir attention on a meaningful wed-ding day and starting their married lifetogether.

People make sure they buy insur-ance to cover their cars and othermajor purchases. And now many cou-ples are deciding that this very special(and expensive) occasion is alsoworth the peace of mind that insur-ance can provide. 0

Jarett Laden is a Personal InsuranceSales Executive at Payne Financial Groupin Helena: [email protected]

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Date post:	09-Mar-2016
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