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Chapter Fourteen

Remarriage and Stepfamilies

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The Incomplete Institution Stepparents have few legal rights

concerning stepchildren Working to create a coherent family

life Stepfamilies create situations where

taken-for-granted rules do not apply Must create their own rules and shared

meanings Institution building is difficult work and can

take a toll on stepfamilies

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The Demography of Remarriage and Stepfamilies Declining marriage rates

Only 2/3 women and 3/4 men will remarry after divorcing

Remarriage Rates Younger women are more likely to remarry than

those that married later in life Women with three or more children less likely to

remarry Remarriage more likely among non-Hispanic

whites than Hispanics or African Americans

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The Demography of Remarriage and Stepfamilies Divorce rates among the remarried

More likely to end in divorce than first marriages – especially in first years

Selection effect Less likely to tolerate problems after first

divorce Persons in remarriage may be less skilled at

choosing compatible partner or holding a marriage together

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14-5

The Demography of Remarriage and Stepfamilies Increasing Cohabitation

Cohabitation has been an alternate choice of divorced people

Cohabitation rates for divorced people has risen

Increase in cohabitation has more than made up for the lack of remarriage rates among divorced

Substituting cohabitation for remarriage

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Redefining Stepfamilies Broadening definition of stepfamily to

include cohabitation Two adults are married or cohabitating At least one adult has a child present

from a previous marriage or relationship Definition allows for parents never

marrying One-fourth of stepfamilies are cohabiting and fit this definition

Common path for African-American families

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14-7

The New Extended Family Taken for granted in Western

nations that a conjugal family live in the same household until children are grownChildbearing outside marriage,

increase in divorces and remarriage have made this less likely

Divorce splits conjugal unit into two households

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The New Extended Family Stepfamily = household that

contains a parent with children from a previous union and that parent’s current partnerChildren from previous union are

stepchildrenParent’s current partner is

stepparentCan be even more complex, if more

than one divorce has occurred

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The New Extended Family Remarriage Chains = a path that

links individuals across households through the ties of disrupted unions and new unionsThese serve as support and

exchange networksSystem depends on cooperation of

all involved and can be easily disrupted

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Doing the Work of Kinship Blood relatives = people who share

common ancestors: parents and children, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, grandparents and grandchildren

Bilateral kinship = a system in which descent is reckoned through both parents’ lines

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Doing the Work of Kinship In American kinship, people must

establish a relationship to consider each other kin Seeing them regularly, giving or

receiving help, corresponding – repeated connections

To be a relative you must do the work of creating and maintaining kinships

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Building Stepfamilies After divorce, single parents and

their children develop coping skills to live differently

Stepparent comes into the new family systemDifficulty adjusting to this new person

Great variation in the types of stepfamilies being formed

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The Transitional Period

The first 2 to 4 years Stepparent goes from being polite

outsider to being “warm friend” Young children usually accept

stepparent Older children, adolescents may

resist and distance themselves

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The Transitional Period

Stepparent as Polite Outsider Don’t usually try to discipline Refrain from acting like parent Seek to be a warm and affectionate

adult role model figure Common practice to call them by

their first name

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The Transitional Period Adjustment of the Stepchildren

Increased behavior problems may occur at the beginning

Key factor is the age of the child when stepparent joins family

Younger children more accepting of parent-like relationship

Older children more likely to resist a parentlike relationship

Most difficult time to start a stepfamily seems to be when children are in early adolescence

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The Transitional Period

For a stepfamily to be successful, a remarried couple must build a boundary around themselves and work together to solve problemsTheir own marriage must be the

dominant relationship

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The Stabilization Period Stepparent Role includes

Warmth toward and support of the stepchildren

Little disciplining of the stepchildrenSupport for the biological parentTheir role is between a parent and a

trusted friend = intimate outsider Some children may experience a

“sleeper effect” – coming to terms with parent’s divorce as they grow older

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Differences Between Role of Stepmother and Stepfather Being a stepmother can be harder than

being a stepfather History of the “Wicked Stepmother” In typical remarriage chains today, children

live with mother and stepfather Stepmothers must establish relationship

during visits Stepfathers compete with noncustodial

fathers who may not see children very often

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Racial-Ethnic Differences Low-income and racial-ethnic

families face a different set of issues Parenting by mother and

grandmother Conflicts about raising children -

stepfather may be asked to take sides Makes it difficult for a stepfather to

remain in an intergenerational family system for very long

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Effects of Remarriage on Children Income is raised Another adult is around to help Well-being of children in

stepfamilies is no better, on average, than well-being of children in divorced, single-parent households

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Behavior Problems

Children in single-mother or remarried families do not do as well as those in nondivorced households 25-30% of single-mother and divorced

households reported behavior problems,

10% or less of nondivorced households reported behavior problems with children

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Age at Leaving Home

Children, especially girls, in stepparent families leave households at an earlier age than children in single-parent or two-parent households They leave to marry or establish

independent households

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Primacy of the Private Family The triumph of the private family

is that it does still exist, regardless of changes in divorce patterns over time

Marriage is now primarily an instrument of individual fulfillment Personal growth and romantic love

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Primacy of the Private Family

Changing nature of marriage has been an advance for women

Ability to divorce unilaterally Protections against husband dominance

Loss of economic protection Riskier to be a homemaker, withdraw

from the labor market

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Primacy of the Private Family Law assumes men and women are

economic equals, when that is not the case Women’s wages have increased, but

they are still not the same as men’s Women as single parents usually

suffer a steep drop in standard of living

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Primacy of the Private Family Men are not winners in every

divorceMen who gain the most are those

who care least about their childrenMen who pay the highest price are

those who care most about being a daily part of their children’s lives

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Primacy of the Private Family What should women and men do to

protect themselves in our current system? Women should develop good labor

market skills and maintain a connection to the labor market throughout the childrearing years

Men should spend a considerable amount of time in childrearing

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New Kinship Ties Cohabitation, divorce, nonmarital

childbearing and remarriage are altering kinship in two fundamental ways Breaking the correspondence between

family and household Importance of created kinship = ties

which people actively construct Different from assigned kinship = ties

that people automatically acquire at birth or through first marriage

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New Kinship Ties Creation of stepfamilies adds a

number of other potential kinship positions

Challenge of created kinship Kinship ties that can be created

through action can be lost through inaction

More likely to change over time

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Impact on Children

Most children who experience some disruption or lack of well-being through divorce or remarriage do not have serious long-lasting effects

There is not enough research to draw a definitive conclusion