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    2. Its Only a Game Show

    What type of world does the conservative inhabit? What planet

    are these people on? ThinkBig Brother.

    Lets imagine we are contestants on the show or, better still, in

    the Big Brother house itself, playing the game along with the

    rest of them. What do we know? Firstly, this is not real. Everyone

    admits, even before they arrive on set (and make no mistake this

    is a purpose-built set in a television studio, not a house

    requisitioned for the show) that its a wholly artificial situation.

    The house has bedrooms, a spacious kitchen-cum-lounge-diner, a

    garden in fact, all the amenities typical of a luxury apartment inthe ubiquitous Ikea style. It looks like a real house even if it isnt

    remotely.

    Then, of course, there are the housemates themselves. What

    planets are they from? We know nothing about them. However,

    we can safely say that, in the ten seconds since we arrived, these

    are the last people on earth we would ever dream of socializing

    with, let alone choose to have as friends. With their cosmetic

    smiles and fake tans they look so awkward and vulnerable, like a

    batch of beauty queens parachuted into a war zone. Do we really

    look like them? At this point it suddenly dawns on us that the

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    reason behind their panicked expressions is that they too have

    only just set eyes on us. In the first few moments of being thrust

    into an unfamiliar social environment group psychology takes

    over; we instinctively strive for equilibrium, a happy medium of

    socially acceptable behaviour (which may of course vary widely

    from one situation to the next). Communication at this stage of

    the proceedings is phatic, or in other words meaningless.

    Hello and What do you do for a living? are not expressions

    of genuine interest in us as individuals, they are merely being

    employed so as to establish social contact, as well as to burn up

    precious time. After all, everyone knows how embarrassing and

    unwelcome breakdowns in communication can be, especially TV

    producers.

    Once equilibrium is established more complex behaviour patterns

    begin to surface. People drop their guard and personalities

    emerge. Alliances, if not genuine friendships, are formed between

    housemates, for ultimately we cannot forget that this is not just a

    game, its a competition. And as with all personality contests or

    beauty pageants the most popular contestants come to the fore not

    by virtue of individual merit but through structural opposition.

    The world of the game show is one in which the talents of any

    one contestant are set off against those of all the rest. The winner

    is the one who manages to avoidbeing eliminated. Rest assured

    s/he wont end up as the most popular housemate, but the least

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    unpopularamongst us. The fact that someone will win is always

    conditioned by the fact that someone else wont. For there to be

    winners there must first be losers. Not only could there be no

    winners without losers, winning would make no sense without

    them. Losers make winners what they are.

    Of course in the world of Big Brother nobody likes to admit any

    of this. It may be something we suspect deep down (we all know

    were losers really), but none of us would ever dream of

    admitting it. Nobody appreciates being called a loser, even and

    especially if its the truth. The longer we remain in this place with

    a bunch of frankly unappealing strangers, the more we need to

    bite our lip and bide our time. Clearly we have to watch what we

    say here and to whom, since one word out of place and theequilibrium is lost and were back to where we started, all of us

    pretending again, trying to avoid that horrible feeling of mutual

    revulsion and antagonism. In this situation communication is key

    and we must be sure to use it to our advantage.

    But is there a gap between what people are saying and what they

    really think? We suspect as much and there is no getting away

    from it. Even during the frankest of exchanges, or in those

    intimate, boozed-up revelations to a trusted confidant in the early

    hours of the morning, there is, at the back (or front) of our minds,

    the lingering question of whether this person is for real, or just

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    having us on. Are they on the make? Is s/he telling us this

    because s/he needs to get it off her/his chest, or is it simply what

    s/he wants us to hear?

    At least the internaldynamic of the Big Brother experience feels

    like therapy. The set resembles an asylum: it has one common

    dormitory. There is nothing remotely intrusive about this since

    its intended to socialize the patients, to make them confront

    their issues and get to know one another. Group therapy

    involves discipline and communal responsibility. This is not to

    say the house is a prison, at least not from the inside. Although

    there is a fairly strict regime and (apparently) a set of rules

    governing it all, our enjoyment is not forbidden, its positively

    encouraged. In any case none of us are forced to be here and arefree to leave at any time. We are outpatients in this sense.

    All in all, then, there is no reason to suspect the other housemates

    oftotaldishonesty towards us. In the world of Big Brother we

    assume that everyone has a breaking point, a natural threshold for

    boredom, anger and hostility and that any of us, no matter how

    together we might feel, can be pushed over the edge at any

    time: this is simply what makes us human. We all have our

    demons, even if some of us are more practised at keeping them in

    check than others. But what about Big Brother itself? Isnt

    there a degree of disingenuousness, if not exactly dishonesty,

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    about its role in all of this. This faceless bisexual counselor

    who monitors our behaviour day and night never reveals its

    human side, either in the figure of an actual person or a genuine

    personality. While s/he knows everything about us we know next

    to nothing about him/her. In fact, given that Big Brothers

    surveillance of the house knows no bounds it would seem that, in

    reality, there is never a time when we could safely drop our guard

    in the presence of others. How could we ever afford to if we are

    always being watched? Wouldnt those intimate moments be

    exposed by Big Brother as false or manipulative? Obviously they

    might have involved genuine acts of human emotion, but if we

    know we are being watched then isnt there always the risk that

    our actions might appearfake?

    This is the major challenge of being a contestant on this show.

    Even when were being serious Big Brother confronts us with our

    own superficiality. But surely the point is this: we know our own

    selves better than Big Brother ever could. Big Brother onlysees

    what we say and do, it cant look inside our minds. This is true up

    to a point. It is a conservative world we are living in, but its still

    liberal enough to enable us to think and do as we please, with the

    emphasis on thinking, since the freedom of thought is the bedrock

    of Western liberal democracy (as long as its done in private). But

    what does privacy mean here? Does it mean when no one else

    is looking? And if it does then how could we hope to think

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    anything that Big Brother isnt party to? What does thinking

    really amount to in a world like this apart from the attempt to

    prevent Big Brother from recording whats going through our

    minds? We may very well assume that no one has the power to

    determine what we think, since thinking is a private act. But in

    here onepracticalfalse move is enough to give the game away

    and expose us for what we really are.

    There is, however, a sense in which these reservations may be

    completely misguided. After all, the title of this chapter presents

    us with a somewhat different interpretation of things: namely, if

    its only a game show then why should we care? Why should it

    matter what we really think or equally what our housemates

    think of us if, ultimately, we can never really tell? If ourthoughts and attitudes (at least in the house) are completely

    conditioned through our attempts to avoid revealing them to Big

    Brother then why bother? Wouldnt it be better to adopt a much

    less paranoid, more ironic attitude that made no attempt to

    conceal anything from anybody else? This might involve

    discussing openly who in the house we hate, deliberately

    contradicting ourselves, and generally behaving in an

    unpredictable and highly irresponsible manner.

    Irony, we are led to believe, perfectly suits our postmodern

    condition. Postmodern irony makes a mockery out of everyone. It

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    shows up the inherent stupidity and meaninglessness of our lives

    through encouraging us to loosen up, lose our inhibitions and stop

    worrying: life is short, so enjoy it while you can! Your wife ran

    off with another man? Look on the bright side: at least she didnt

    elope with another woman! On second thoughts, shame I couldnt

    have been there to watch. Perhaps shell come back when she

    gets fed up with him if youre really unlucky, that is Is this

    postmodern approach enough to convince us that our world isnt

    so bad after all? It may not have our best interests at heart but

    then again who does? Rather than trying to win the competition

    outright wouldnt it make a lot more sense in the circumstances

    just to be ourselves, which in circumstances such as these

    would amount to going with the flow or wherever the mood takes

    us? The difficulty in following this advice is its inherentduplicity. In other words it exempts itself from its own advice.

    How could we take advice from someone for Big Brother

    isnt any one person, remember who makes a mockery out of all

    principles and a principle out of all mockery?

    Joking aside, lets assume for arguments sake that every world

    has rules that need to be observed and that Big Brother, in being

    part of ours, is no exception. Basically, the world is made up of

    contradictions, but that doesnt mean it has to descend into chaos

    and anarchy. Big Brother encourages us to let our hair down, but

    not too much. No one could seriously contemplate could we?

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    murdering one of the other housemates, or forming a religious

    sect that involved sado-masochistic rituals and human sacrifice,

    even if the postmodern attitude, with its celebration of irreverence

    and the inherently meaningless, makes light of such things. Not

    only would such behaviour not endear us to Big Brother itself, it

    would in all likelihood alienate the viewing audience, those good

    people on the outside looking in. Common sense demands that we

    should always observe the bounds of taste and decency even if

    occasionally those bounds are stretched. However meaningless

    life becomes there are always other people to consider; not

    forgetting above all the programmes sponsors.

    All this is typical of conservatives, including those self-styled

    liberals who wax lyrical about the enormous benefits offreedom and liberal democracy. Big Brother gives us the

    freedom to say or do whatever we like as long as whatever we say

    or do meets with its own standards of communication. If we

    refused to communicate properly then we really would be

    threatening the future of the game. Our world wouldnt exactly

    collapse. But it would become uninhabitable. Big Brother makes

    little secret of the fact that the game we are playing is

    meaningless. But we should all play along, not because it forces

    us to, but because the alternative to playing the game i.e. not

    playing is unthinkable. Winston Churchill once said that our

    conservative world wasnt the best of all possible ones, it was

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    simply the least bad. Even if we dont believe in its values we

    should respect them for fear of making the world a lot worse than

    it already is.

    Communication, then, lies at the heart of the matter. As the

    Austrian philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein once said, the limits

    of my language are the limits of my world. Language whether

    by language we mean conscious or unconscious thoughts,

    dreams, verbal or non-verbal, phatic or written communication

    is what we share as a community, what separates us from mere

    animals, and serves to keep us all sane. Even the crazed

    delusions of the schizophrenic patient require a language of sorts.

    He may be communicating in a world of his own, he may be

    living in a dream world, but nothing is so meaningless as toescape the attentions of Big Brother even if it makes no

    apparent sense to the rest of us. Ultimately, we all exist in worlds

    of our own, even if they arent exactly the ones we choose to

    inhabit. This is how Big Brother operates in the final analysis,

    treating each contestant as an individual patient and respecting his

    or her right to confidentiality by not divulging privileged

    information to the rest of the house.

    But if language forms the limits of our world, and therefore what

    we can ever hope to think or do inside the house, what happens

    at the endof the game? Quite obviously getting to the end is the

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    ultimate object of the game. In which case the object would

    appear to be to outlast the terms of the game, or to beat Big

    Brother at its own game. In this case we may have good reason to

    assume that there is indeed life beyond Big Brother, or at least

    that there exists another world outside the house. But if

    Wittgenstein is right then how could there possibly be anything

    beyond? The beyond, that assumedly mystical realm outside

    all common sense and understanding, is still within our linguistic

    powers to define, and so must still form part of our world. In

    other words, there is no getting out of the house, even for the

    winner.

    Consider the following example. The film Cube (1997) tells the

    story of six total strangers who one day find themselves quiteinexplicably locked inside a giant metal cube. The cube is

    composed of a finite number of smaller, symmetrical cubes, each

    one connected to the next on each of its six sides by

    interconnecting passageways. No one can recall how s/he got

    there. The point of the game, given the fact that everyone wants

    to escape, is to find the cube that leads to the outside, doing

    everything and anything in their combined powers to achieve this

    end. There must be a world outside, or at least it must be possible

    within the rules of the game (which emerge during the course

    of the game itself) for at least one of them to find a way out.

    Ultimately, however, this theory turns out to have been a total

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    delusion. At the very end of the film it emerges, for the winner,

    that the reality that was assumed to exist on the outside of the

    cube in actual fact doesnt. Whether it was permanently lost in

    the interim or never really existed in the first place is left unclear.

    However, what it confirms is what (at least one of) the players

    suspected all along: namely, there is no way out.

    Are we destined to remain inside the house forever? We already

    know that playing the game is the best possible option, even if we

    remain convinced that we wont win, or if we dont particularly

    care who wins. But it now seems as though Big Brother has been

    playing a much more devious game than it appeared to be at first.

    Playing the game just for the sake of it i.e. without any

    pretensions of actually winning is one thing. But playing thegame forever is quite another. As contestants we assumed there

    would be an end to all this. Now we learn that when we

    eventually depart the house we are still effectively in it. But

    how do we know this for sure? Obviously it remains largely a

    suspicion until were actuallyout there, but there are plenty of

    clues that would appear to confirm it in the meantime. For

    example, Big Brother quite obviously isnt playing in thespiritof

    the game. Granted, it changes the rules from time to time, which

    it justifies by saying that since they are Big Brothers rules it is

    entitled to alter them. The only problem is it doesnt appear to be

    following them. For example, allowing evicted housemates to

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    reenter the house is quite clearly a breach of its own rules. It

    would therefore appear that there are two sets of rules in

    operation here: the ones Big Brother intends on the one hand, and

    those it chooses not to observe on the other.

    If there are certain rules for some and certain rules for the rest

    then it doesnt bode well for life on the outside. What is to

    prevent Big Brother from making us play another game once we

    leave, from putting us into another house with a bunch of even

    more contemptible halfwits? We may have entered into a contract

    with Big Brother stipulating our contractual obligations and

    frivolously signing away our civil rights. But that was only on the

    understanding that once we get out of here we were more or less

    guaranteed to reap the rewards of our hard-won celebrity. For allwe know Big Brother is quite capable of disregarding that

    contract completely, in which case we wont ever be able to

    escape the dreaded couch.

    Then again, perhaps there is another possibility. Is it not possible

    that Big Brother, in its infinite wisdom, might see fit to bring the

    whole world to an end? Not just the game, but all future games?

    Is it not conceivable that Big Brother could set us free not just by

    making the rules of the game null and void, but by making itself

    null and void as well? Perhaps we can imagine a time when Big

    Brother is finally put beyond a joke, a point at which it no longer

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    defines the rules of the game, any game, owing to the complete

    non-existence of anything resembling a coherent language. Such

    a point would amount to a kind of media and cultural desert

    where the game really would be point-less, not so much for lack

    of players, but for lack of viewers. The problem with this

    proposition, however, is that in imagining such a world it is

    difficult to see how anything else could exist in its place,

    including ourselves. As we have noted already, Big Brother

    doesnt infringe upon our personalities, it reveals them in us. By

    making us feel like the objects of its all-seeing eye it confronts us

    with those impressions of ourselves which tell us more than we

    already knew. Furthermore, Big Brother is concealed behind all

    the mirrors in the house that constantly display our image to all

    and sundry, even behind our backs. There is no getting away fromit (them). Break all the mirrors and we ourselves break into pieces

    as well; without the specular images that the media provide we

    would cease to exist.

    In light of all this it would appear that we are the game. We

    havent been forced into this and were not being kept in here

    against our will so to suggest that Big Brother is preventing us

    from leaving is to ignore the very conditions under which we

    originally entered the house. We have to be reasonable. It is us

    who help to set the conditions under which we play the game. It

    might not seem that way at times, but think of it this way: if we

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    dont take responsibility for our own behaviour then why should

    Big Brother? Dont we only have ourselves to blame if we choose

    to behave like a bunch of caged monkeys and Big Brother

    responds by adapting the rules of the game? Granted, Big Brother

    may be trying deliberately to provoke us into such puerile

    displays in order to justify imposing unduly punitive measures on

    the house. But why should we help morally to justify this kind of

    exploitation by reinforcing our own stereotypes in the eyes of the

    world?

    We respect Big Brother because it and its game are the very

    reason for our being here. We cant think or do without the

    attention. But by the same token Big Brother is not God. We

    might respect it, but we dont have to believe in it. Big Brotherhas shown its willingness to try our patience and act in bad faith.

    Consequently we dont put our faith in it. How could a two-faced

    despot command our blind devotion? Given that there could

    never be any proof of what lies beyond the house we remain

    agnostic about what will happen to us once we actually walk out

    of here. No one leaves and comes back in to tell the tale, although

    some do have a sort of near death experience whereby they

    appear to leave the house but in reality dont. Rumour has it there

    are others who, having left the house, come to inhabit a

    netherworld, a world of the living-dead, a place which isnt quite

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    in the house and isnt quite outside it either. But we tend to treat

    such stories with a healthy dose of skepticism.

    What would appear to be beyond dispute is that the winner is not

    the only one who gets out of here. In that sense we are all

    winners. In fact, never mind getting out, simply managing to get

    in here must qualify us for some sort of prize. Perhaps we have

    already achieved the object of the game without even knowing it.

    Then again there may well be another possibility: namely, that if

    the game doesnt necessarily begin when we think it does then

    how can we be sure that the game has even yet begun? And how

    could we everbe sure? Perhaps the game is about trying to find

    out what the game is about, or whether the game really exists. Or

    whether in a world like this the idea of a real game makes anysense at all.

    3. True Faith

    We live at the time of the Roman Empire. It is a time of great

    tyranny and persecution, not least of our own community.

    Somewhere over the horizon the Empire wages its wars whilst

    here, in our own land, it rules by imposing its laws and foreign

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    customs. Power corrupts absolutely: not only is the Empires

    belligerent takeover of culture and society unjust but there are

    even those among us who seek to profit from the occupation.

    Such are the hypocritical Pharisees who claim to be enlightened

    men but in actual fact are only interested in their own material

    gain. With their pious double standards they are all show. They

    are no good collaborators who worship false gods: money,

    glamour and fame.

    In this world there are two types of (pseudo-)thinkers or would-be

    theorists: hypocrites, of whom we have already mentioned, and

    experts. Let us consider each of them in turn.

    The hypocrite, we have said, is a careful manipulator of his ownimage, giving the outwardimpression that he is a pious man

    when in fact he is a ruthless social climber. Everything he does is

    geared towards convincing other people that he is something he is

    not. But arent we all hypocrites when it comes down to it?

    Arent we all guilty of trying to pass ourselves off as model

    citizens, people who the rest of the community should look up to

    and aspire to be like? Surely society needs role models, in which

    case the hypocrite, for all his faults, is merely filling the gap in

    the market? Not quite. Admittedly we must resist the temptation

    to criticize the hypocrite under false pretences. We must be wary

    not to allow our sense of anger and resentment toward him to be

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    transformed into jealousy, or of sounding like spurned hypocrites,

    for that really would be the height of hypocrisy. On the other

    hand we are quite right to condemn the hypocrites position, for

    this is someone who in occupying it partakes of its privileges

    through perpetuating the myth, not merely of his own identity,

    but of the position itself.

    The hypocrite is a civil servant or public relations man. His job

    is to serve the wider interests of the community and so he sets

    himself up as the official spokesperson or medium between us,

    the people, and God, or what we might call thespiritof the

    community. The hypocrite glories in this role. However, since he

    has no genuine belief in the community that he represents, the

    interests in question remain completely beyond his sphere ofinfluence or understanding. The hypocrite is a professional

    communicatorwho aims to convince us that he is providing a

    great service and putting on a great show but ultimately his own

    vanity is all he manages to promote. He wrestles with signs and

    spends ages trying to predict the public mood and exploit existing

    trends, or at least to be the first on the scene as soon as a miracle

    is reported; all the better, no doubt, to tell us what it all means.

    The hypocrite is an obsessive socio-cultural commentator

    effectively divorced from the rest of the community for whom the

    sanctimonious waffle of a self-righteous man will always fall on

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    deaf ears, especially for those true believers that have already

    seen the light.

    In reality the hypocrite does the community a dreadful disservice.

    This is a time crying out for answers. In view of the endless

    degradation of our culture and ideas by the occupying power, and

    of our civic leaders and cultural ambassadors repeatedly selling

    out to their imperial paymasters, the question we must devote

    ourselves to is this: how can we best serve the wider interests of

    the community? How can we rediscover through our work the

    true spirit of our age whilst standing firm against the hypocrites

    of this world?

    This brings us to the expert, whose primary concern is with theintellectual part of her practice, regardless of whether the

    intelligence in question is scientific or artistic in nature. The

    expert doesnt speak on behalf of any community and so avoids

    leaving herself open to bribery and corruption. Unlike the

    hypocrite she doesnt draw a veil over her own ignorance since

    true knowledge isnt hers to possess. The expert works on behalf

    of truth. Her task is to be its custodian, the person placed between

    it and us. But doesnt this custodianship resemble all too closely

    the role of the hypocrite in the way he claims to work in the wider

    interests of the community? The key difference between the

    hypocrite and the expert is that while the hypocrite indulges in all

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    sorts of obscurantism the expert aims for the consistent exposition

    of truth. The hypocrite makes a great show of his own wisdom

    in public while simultaneously working behind the scenes to deny

    its potential benefits to the rest of us; he isnt so much a

    defender of the faith as he is its paid mercenary. By complete

    contrast the experts overriding concern is with weeding out such

    (pseudo-)mysticism and the superstitions that cling to pure

    thought. The expert is an experimenter and a producer of

    concepts. Whether or not this demands a modicum of faith is

    perhaps debatable, although what is undeniable is that expertise is

    always more than a mere matter of faith.

    Striving for truth demands an intellectual discipline on the part of

    the artist or scientist that has nothing to do with publicexhibitions, promotions or manifestos. Whether or not the truth

    actually emerges in the process is not a cause for debate. Indeed,

    the whole point of the process is to eliminate all debate from the

    intellectuals mind, to create a blank canvass where creation can

    begin, not exactly from nothing, but under experimental

    conditions purged of all interference from third parties. Art and

    science are both disciplines that the expert follows to the letter.

    These, then, are the two types of theorists in our world. Both

    claim to hold the monopoly on truth. For us, however, theory

    must follow an altogether different path. For although the

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    hypocrite and the expert are strongly divided in theory, they face

    exactly the same problem in practice: namely, they both work for

    the Empire. He who imagines the world in which he works and

    the world in which he thinks to be separate realms is only

    deluding himself. It is vain nonsense to believe that one can work

    for the spirit of the community or greater good without serving

    the interests of Empire. This is the great evil of Empire: instead of

    ruling by mere force of arms it introduces conflict into the

    community which then proceeds to spread like the plague. The

    people become their own worst enemies, fighting between

    themselves, brother against brother, in an effort to win favour

    with the real enemy. Then, from the midst of conflict, the

    hypocrite arrives on the scene.

    Having found favour as a spiritual medium a power broker

    masquerading as a wise man capable of healing the wounds of

    hatred and resentment the hypocrite turns our attention away

    from what is really happening on the ground and claims to be in

    touch with a higher reality: Behold! he declares, I have been

    given a sign. The hypocrite claims to be Gods own messenger,

    the only one capable of interpreting the word of God. He claims

    to have had a dream, and that all we need do to make it a reality is

    to take heed of what he says and follow his example. The dream

    is a metaphor. In other words, we arent meant to take it literally.

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    However, if we manage to get the message then we too can make

    it to the Promised Land; we can make heaven a place on earth.

    The hypocrite is a semiotician. What is semiotics? Semiotics is

    the science of signs and their meanings. According to this

    science, language can be studied as a system. In order to

    understand how and why language operates we first need to

    distinguish speech, or the spoken words of individuals, from the

    standard language itself. In more technical terms this is often

    referred to as the distinction between la parole (speech) and la

    langue (the language-system). In order to express oneself through

    speech there must first be a language to govern what it is possible

    to say. Clearly speech must conform to the rules of language. But

    this is not a question of memorizing the meaning of individualwords (often referred to as acquiring a vocabulary). It is a

    question of recognizing the differences between signs.

    For the semiotician the entire language-system is made up of

    signs. Furthermore, each sign is composed of two related aspects.

    Take the sign cat. On the one hand it is asignifier, a word that

    signifies or indicates a meaning distinct from itself. There is no

    natural link between the animal in question and the word that

    stands for it; or at least one might imagine another word having

    been used in its place (indeed, the French language has chat, the

    GermanKatze, and even English has moggy). Therefore the

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    relation between the signifier and the thing in question is said to

    be arbitrary. In other words a signifier signifies the thing by

    means of cultural association. This is its signified meaning.

    For the semiotician difference is the key term. Language is a

    system of differences without positive content. This doesnt

    simply mean that each signifier is distinct from every other one,

    although this is clearly the case. Its more important implication is

    that cat gains its meaning by virtue of its difference from bat

    rather than from any natural association the word might have with

    the small feline mammal itself. Cat means a cat because it is

    notbat; and so too with car and bar; bike and pike,

    and so on. Language is nothing without positive content

    without difference. Imagine a huge net: its holes are there byvirtue of the gaps in-between. Each hole is meaningful because

    it is kept in place by the next one, which is kept in place by the

    next, which is kept in place by the next, and so on. These

    differences or holes extend right down to the level of phonemes,

    which are the basic building blocks of our language. We might

    say that the holes in language make up the system of language as

    a whole.

    The signifier cat is composed of three phonemic sounds: /c/, /a/

    and /t/. Replace the /c/ sound with a /b/ sound and one has bat

    instead of cat. Linguistically speaking this really is the only

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    difference between them. Not only that but since language and

    not the individuals who use it generates meaning the only

    meaning of cat that makes sense to us is the one that differs

    from bat. Not only is our individual expression ruled by

    language (for there is nothing we could say that language doesnt

    allow us to), language makes it meaningless. Unless we follow

    the rules, unless we conform to the system of language, then we

    have no place to speak at all. In other words, break the rules and

    the semiotician, this hypocrite priest, will accuse us of speaking

    in tongues.

    The semiotician is therefore the man of holy language, for whom

    reality is wholly language. He sees his role as one of putting the

    community back in touch with reality, his reality, which he doesby excluding anything which doesnt make sense or appears to be

    in danger of falling through the holes (but isnt this rather

    difficult?). The problem, however, is that since we live in an

    Empire of signs things are forced to make sense. We, the people,

    are quite literally given no say in the matter. The imperial culture

    and media are alien to us, produced by hypocrites, those bogus

    men of faith, for an ideal community that only exists in their

    imagination. Their television programmes might make sense to

    them when theyre being made but as far as were concerned they

    might as well be in different language. In which case the

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    hypocrite represents the true meaning of the word: namely, he

    who says one thing and means something entirely different.

    But what about the expert? Does she avoid partaking of this type

    of hypocrisy? To begin with the expert is not a great

    communicator. Scientists and especially artists are not renowned

    for their ability to get their message over to the public, to put their

    understanding into words. They work largely in isolation, which

    means that it gets left up to us to interpret their works in whatever

    way we see fit. Artists dont have great faith in the system (of

    language). Nevertheless, despite her intimate expertise ultimately

    she too is a hypocrite, for in cutting herself off from the rest of

    the community she merely invites misunderstanding and

    misrepresentation. Of course, the artist stands by her work, shewill always defend its right to exist. But in leaving it up to us to

    determine its significance she might as well deny that she had any

    hand in actually producing it. Creative competence then becomes

    creative genius; she ends up giving us the impression that shes a

    miracle worker, or at least an exceptional talent, in touch with

    strange forces and unknown powers that the rest of us cant hope

    to understand. But lets not pretend. We know exactly what these

    forces are. They are the forces of Empire. As for the expert she

    is nothing but an extreme hypocrite.

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    We have said already that we must find our way as theorists

    between these two extremes. How can we manage it?By refusing

    to work for the Empire. Let us not delude ourselves as to the real

    meaning of this word which is also The Word. Empire insists on

    the wisdom of words. Communication, it would have us believe,

    is the lifeblood of every community, seemingly so important as to

    make little difference whatwe say so long as we keep on trying to

    get the message through. What we end up with is so-called mass

    communication in which the clamour to be heard is positively

    encouraged despite the fact in trying to say something new we

    merely end up repeating ourselves. All this suits our imperial

    masters perfectly well, for it leads to the misapprehension that

    Empire is a practical necessity for achieving the same ends, i.e.

    communication, when in fact it has become the very means forfrustrating the possibility of any greater good; any positive

    content. Empire perpetuates the lie that everyone is a born

    communicator and a natural producer. The work we do is justified

    on the grounds that we are laying the foundations for future

    civilizations, when in actual fact all we are doing is shoring up

    the shaky legitimacy of Empire. In the process of reproducing this

    legitimacy, work becomes a metaphor for life: namely, there is no

    practical alternative to earning a living, to setting an example

    through the quality and integrity of ones work, for producing

    works that can stand the test of time and that mean something

    (that are timeless). The result of this is that the question of

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    theory becomes deferred until the afterlife, to a time of post-

    production (which is meaningless) and of reflection (which is

    self-indulgent). The overall impression of theory is therefore one

    of spiritual decay and imperial decline, which of course must be

    resisted at all costs.

    But what alternative is there to practice and work? There is none.

    One should never think of theory as an alternative. We have

    already seen how alternative theories misrepresent the true

    nature of theory. The theorists task is not to debate the pros and

    cons of his discipline. He is not out tojustify theory. But surely

    his task is to promote it? Certainly not, for to do so would require

    the communication that so misrepresents theory and makes its

    theorists out to be hypocrites. Nor should the theorist placerestrictions on who can do theory based on some arbitrary

    classification of theorists and practitioners. Rather than

    safeguarding the integrity of theory this would only succeed in

    turning theory into a second rate or inferior form of practice, a

    minority theory separated from real work by virtue of it being

    surplus to requirements. This is the mistake made repeatedly by

    self-styled avant-garde artists who convince themselves that

    their conceptual experiments are too intellectually demanding for

    the mainstream. They are painfully misguided. The art world is in

    the business of overturning conservatism; this is what it does.

    Rather than lamenting its own minority status the avant-garde

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    would be well advised to stop whining and find itself a better

    agent.

    It must be clear by now that what passes for wisdom in this world

    is nothing of the kind, and is in no position to define the uses one

    can make of theory. How could an Empire that itself has no use

    for theory, that only values people inasmuch as they produce, and

    condemns the rest of us to a life of passive consumption, make an

    informed judgement as to the role and extent of theory in society

    anyway? This brings us to the crux of the matter. The antagonism

    that supposedly exists between theory and practice is a lie put

    about by Empire in an effort to prevent the community from

    realizing the true rewards of theory. What can the theorists do

    about this? In terms of taking on Empire, nothing whatsoever. Inany case the Empire is not the true enemy, for if it were this

    would prevent us from ever embracing its supporters as partners

    in theory. The enemy is our own ignorance of theory, which

    assumes the dual guise of the hypocrite and the expert, both of

    whom will theory for the sake of their own material gain. In terms

    of addressing this ignorance the task before us is to combat the

    hypocrisy and expertise at work in our own understanding of

    theory. How might we do this?

    The answer comes in the form of intellectual emancipation. This

    is not about elevating our minds to the level of philosophers but

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    of bringing theory down from its ivory tower to our level,

    whatever our level might be. There is certainly no preexisting

    standard of intellectual attainment in theory. The idea of a

    lowering or a drop in standards as is often said of students failing

    to pass an examination, or of the dumbing down of a school

    syllabus, has nothing whatsoever to do with being a good theorist.

    We resist categorically this type of intellectual snobbery and old

    school elitism where theory is concerned, which in any case is not

    a bar we have to hurdle in order to make the grade. Equally we

    must not venerate the theorist himself, treating him like a genius

    whose intelligence can rub off on us if we adopt his style of

    thinking. If anything we should even mistrust what the theorist

    says for theorys sake, for theory is not something one ever takes

    complete possession of. Each of us must instead set out to thinkto the best of his or her ability. However, one thing is certain:

    there are no specialists in theory, no theory worthy of the name

    that can resist the demands of non-expert thinkers, for the

    freedom of theory is the freedom from intellectual domination

    and the masters of theory. Theory is an exercise in equality.

    Nothing and no one are excluded from it.

    The task of theory is to bring about a world that is equal to its

    understanding. This might sound a bit like going round in circles;

    then again, instead of thinking theory in opposition to practice the

    point is to extendtheory into areas otherwise reserved for

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    practice. The prohibition on theorists from becoming involved in

    technical or pure practice highlights the self-imposed ignorance

    of practitioners not only in theory but in terms of their own

    practice. Crucially, the ignorance isself-imposedwhich means

    that although the Empire profits from the imaginary division of

    theory and practice the practitioner is the one responsible for

    actually implementing it orputtingit into practice. But couldnt

    the same be said of our own theory? Dont we as theorists share

    the blame for this division since without theory it would be

    unthinkable? Yes. Practitioners may be responsible for

    misunderstandings in their own discipline but they are certainly

    not responsible for misunderstandings in theory. With this in

    mind we must begin to take responsibility for preaching the

    virtues of theory rather than victimising or criticising practitionersfor mistakes which have as much to do with us as they have to do

    with them. In effect the practitioner is simply a theorist who

    has yet to understand the relevance of his own discipline for

    theory. He is the one who practices in the dark. The theorist must

    lead him into the light.

    The Noisetheorynoise conference held at Middlesex University,

    UK in March 2004 draws attention to the imaginary division of

    labour between theory and practice. Shannon and Weaver, whose

    information theory provides the historical basis for media and

    communication studies, define noise as a distortion of meaning,

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    or any signal not intended by an information source on its journey

    from transmitter to receiver. The static interference on a

    telephone line is the classic example of such noise. However, for

    the organizers of this conference noise is not simply a practical

    problem to be ironed out by technical support staff. For example,

    in relation to music, noise is not non-music. Instead, Noise is

    an unmapped continent in comparison with which everything we

    recognize as music remains a parochial backwater. Ordinarily

    the theorists task is to define the bounds of good taste in music,

    whilst the practitioner concentrates on making music that meets

    with these conventions (of pitch, chord progression, tonal scale,

    etc.). However, we could argue that this adds very little to our

    appreciation of either music or noise, and simply defends the

    status quo in music from which Empire profits. On the otherhand, if theory were to rethink the bounds of good taste in music

    to include rather than exclude noise, it is possible that our

    appreciation of music could not only be enhanced, but also

    theoretically transformed. For example, noise might suddenly

    yield new time signatures and new rhythms; it might lead to a

    reassessment of the physical limitations of the human voice, or to

    the redefinition of the type of sounds it can make. It may even

    lead to a new cerebral type of music that isnt a product of

    musical instruments so much as a redefinition of sound itself.

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    The classical composer John Cage is the most well known

    experimenter in the limits of sound. His most (in)famous work,

    entitled 4'33", is a silent piece in which no actual music is

    performed for a duration of four minutes and thirty-three seconds.

    Isnt this just a facetious intellectual joke? How could such

    music ever be composed? Isnt it ridiculous to gather an

    orchestra together on stage simply in ordernotto make music?

    Perhaps the answers to these questions (which are open questions,

    and raise many more questions than we can provide answers to

    here) depend on the type of expectations we have about how

    music should be performed, and what we expect to hear when it

    is, rather than on the possibility of listening to non-music. Must

    every musical work be performed? Is live performance always the

    criterion of real music? Clearly electronic music, composed andpre-recorded entirely on synthesizers, involves minimal input

    from human beings, at least when performed on stage. And

    there are many sounds in our environment including undefined

    background noise that involve melodies of sorts, even if they

    arent actually composed. Might not the rejection of John Cages

    work result from narrow-minded, anti-theoretical assumptions

    about what music is and how it stands in relation to noise?

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