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www.simplybeing.co.uk©JamesLow,2009
MeditationPractices
andDevelopingClarity
Developingclaritythroughmeditation.
Theretreatwasorganizedaroundmeditationexplanationsandinstructionstogetherwiththeirbackgroundview,followedbyperiodsofpracticeandquestions.Thefocuswason
experiencingkadag,theprimordialpurityofthemind.
JamesLow
GutensteinRetreat,Austria
15‐17May2009
TranscribedbyJoFéat
EditedbyBarbaraTerris
www.simplybeing.co.uk©JamesLow,2009
Excerpts
Responsetoaquestionaboutwhatpracticetodowhen.Forexample,wehavepotatopeelersandtheirfunctionistoremovepotatoskin.Butifyouhavebeautifulsmall,newpotatoesyouwouldn’twanttopeelthem.Nomatterhowbeautifulyourpotatopeeleris,itisuselessinrelationtonewpotatoes.IntheTibetantraditiontheyhaveverymany‘potatopeelers’.
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Practiceisameanstoanend.Itisnotanendinitselfsincewhateverisestablishedwitheffortwillsuccumbtotheforceofchange.
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Egoisconcernedwithmasteryandoneofthefunctionsofpracticeistoexaminetheparadigmofcontrol.Indzogchenwearemovingfromavisionofcontroltowardsavisionofcollaborationandintegration.
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To recognise and exist within and as one’s own buddha‐nature involves leaving the matrix ofcontrolandawakeningintorelaxedspaciousness,withinwhichonecandirectlyseethenatureofwhateverisoccurring.
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Emptinesisrightontheedgeoflanguage.Whenwespeak,wearealwayscreatingpartialtruths–little gestures or hints – but we have to act as if they were the whole story. And so we findourselvesinakindoftheatre,thetheatreof‘asif’.Thetheatrebeginswithsuspendingdisbelief.Whenyougotothetheatreyouknowatonelevelthatthepeoplewhoappearonthestageareactorsandarepaidmoneytopretendtobesomebodyelse.Whentheycomeontothestagewearehappytobelievethattheyarewhoevertheytellustheyare.Wewanttobetakenin;wewanttogetlost.Thisisveryprofound.
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Thisisexactlytheheartofmeditation:nottiltingawayfromthings,nottiltingtowardsthem,butjuststayingpresentwitheverythingasitoccurs.
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Themoreweseehowallphenomenaarearisingandpassing,thentheimmediacyofpresentationandtheimmediacyofself‐liberationstarttocometogether.Fromthisweseehowthequalityofthemirrorispresenteveninthemidstofmultiplereflections.
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Inthemeditation,themorewecanletgothebetteritis,whereasintheworldthemorewecanaccumulate the better. This doesn’t mean that you have to practise renunciation of externalphenomena. Rather, by relaxing into this open state again and again, you come to see thedynamic,impermanentnatureofillusoryforms–bothsubjectandobject–andthatletsusfreelyparticipateintheunfoldingmatrixoftheworldwithouttoomanyhopesandfears.’
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Wesaythemindislikeamirrorandthatit’stheemptinessofthemirrorthatallowseverythingtobe revealed, ‘I, me, myself’ is like the doppelgänger of the mirror. It’s like the mirror’s publicrelationsdepartment!Insteadofjustbeingrelaxedandfullypresentmomentbymomentitfeelsthe need to issue a press release: “This is to announce I amhappy!”… All day long these littlestatementsarebeingissued.Whoistheonewhoisissuingthestatements?Thisemptynatureoftheminditself.
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DayOne:...................................................................................................................... 1
Shamatha,shinéor‘stayingpeacefully’ ....................................................................... 1Learningtobreatheproperly ................................................................................................................................3Findingyourbreathwhenyouareagitated....................................................................................................4
Vipassanameditation:lesseningthepowerofprojection ............................................ 5Exploringembodiedexistence..............................................................................................................................6Vipassanaislikeabstractart–norepresentation .......................................................................................8Establishingemptinessthroughanalysis ...................................................................... 8Emptinessisontheedgeoflanguage .............................................................................................................10Lettinggoofmapsandassumptions...............................................................................................................12Emptinessandcompassion .................................................................................................................................13Sufferingandsamsara ...........................................................................................................................................14Thepointofbalanceisalwaysemptiness.....................................................................................................16
Tonglenpractice ........................................................................................................ 16Whywepracticetonglen ......................................................................................................................................18
DayTwo:.................................................................................................................... 19
Purefromtheverybeginning:kadag ......................................................................... 19Anemptyscreen,amirrorandapainting ....................................................................................................21
Establishingemptinessthroughdirectexperience...................................................... 22Canwetrustourselves? ........................................................................................................................................23Conditioningandidentification.........................................................................................................................24Ourlivedexperiencemomentbymomentisalsoimpermanence.....................................................25
SoundingThreeAas .................................................................................................. 26Beingabsentandbeingpresent ........................................................................................................................27Responsivityandrelationship ...........................................................................................................................28Natureofmindisfreshandnaked ...................................................................................................................29
Meditationpracticesforwhenyouaredistracted...................................................... 31Visualisingtheletter‘A’ ........................................................................................................................................31SoundingPhat! ..........................................................................................................................................................32SoundingHa ...............................................................................................................................................................33Practicingthestruggleoftheasuras ...............................................................................................................33SoundingHung..........................................................................................................................................................34
DayThree: ................................................................................................................. 34
Purityfreeofstain ..................................................................................................... 34Compassionmeansextendingourrepertoireofresponses..................................................................35Hospitalityputstheguestfirst...........................................................................................................................36Wewantthingsonourownterms...................................................................................................................37
DayFour .................................................................................................................... 39
Purityinseparablefrommanifestation:moreonkadag ............................................. 39Wearetoointelligentforourowngood........................................................................................................39
VisualisingAawithrainbowlight ............................................................................... 40Whytheseenquiriesarefundamental............................................................................................................41
QuestionsandResponses .......................................................................................... 43Thereflectionofthemirror,orthemirroritself? .....................................................................................43Integrationisnothomogenisation...................................................................................................................44Potatopeelers............................................................................................................................................................45Don’tslumpbackintotheRealmofSleep.....................................................................................................46
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DayOne:
Fromthepointofviewofdzogchen,itisimportanttounderstandwhatweusedifferentmeditationpracticesfor,sotodaywearegoingtofocusonthefunctionofsomebasicmeditationpractices.Thebasisofdzogchenisthatthereisanaturalstateofperfection,soitmightseemthatthereisapotentialcontradiction.
Practices,inbeingartificial,createastructure,whichexistsonlyaslongastheyaremaintained,sotheyaremethodsforestablishingcertainconditionsthatenableustolookmoreclearly.Ifyouimagineatheatre,youcansitinthefrontstallsclosetothestageoryoucansitattheback.Youcangouptothefirstlevel,andifit’sabigtheatreyouwillhavefurtherlevels.Whereveryouaresittingsomethingsabouttheperformancewillberevealedandsomewillbeconcealed.Ifyouareinthefrontstallsyouwillseetheperformers’facesmoreclearly,andifyouarerightinthebackrowatthetopofthetheatrelookingdown,youwillseethepatternsofmovementmoreclearly.
Thepracticeisamethodofcreatingaparticularview–aparticularpositioning–andthenonehastolookfromthatpositionandrecognisewhatisrevealed.Thepracticeisameanstoanend;itisnotanendinitself,becausewhateverisestablishedwitheffortwillsuccumbtotheforceofchange.Toimaginethatthepracticeisitselfahousethatonerestsin,istoforgetthathousesarequitevulnerablestructures.Earthquakes,floods,fires,collapsingfoundations,leakingroofs;manythingsmakeahousevulnerable.
Shamatha,shinéor‘stayingpeacefully’
Themostbasicpractice,whichissharedwithothertraditions,iscalledshamathaorshinéanditmeans‘stayingpeacefully’.Whoistheonewhoisgoingtostaypeacefully?Iam.The‘I’inthiscaseisourordinaryegoself.Thatistosay,inourordinarylifeweareveryeasilydistractedbythemanythingsthathookourattention,thingsthatmaywellbeimportantforthemaintenanceofourlife.Assoonasweinvolveourselvesinparticularkindsofactivitylikework,familyandsoon,theseactivitiesrequireconstantattentionandrectificationtobemaintained,sincetheyareunstable.Thiskindofalertattention,thereadinesstoidentifychangesintheenvironmentthatareessentialforthemaintenanceoflife,createsastateofvigilance.Thisstateusuallyhasaqualityofanxietyrunningthroughit,becauseweinvestaspectsofourselvesinourlifesituationanddon’twantoursituationtobecomevulnerable.
Thisbasicmeditationpracticeof‘stayingpeacefully’isoneinwhichwerelaxthemovementoutofconsciousnesstowardsanyobjectwhichisarising,andwedothisbyfocusingourattentiononaverysimpleobject.Wecanfocusourattentionthroughthebreath,andtheobjectcanbethemovementofthebreathjustattheendofthenostrils,wheretherearemanynerveendings.
Wecanalsofocusourattentionthroughthegaze,onanexternalobject.Itcanbeanobjectthathasnosymbolicvalue,asimplethingwiththefewesthookstowardsconceptualization.Insometraditionstheyusearoundpebble,orapainteddiscofclaywithconcentriccircles.Oryoucanuseanobjectisinvestedwithvalueforyou,suchasastatueoftheBuddha,sothatthefeelingofdevotionandfaithactsasanextrabondingontothatobject.
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Thensitinarelaxedwaylettingourskeletoncarryourweight,sothatthemusclesrelaxandinparticularthediaphragmcanmoveeasilywithaslowdeepbreathasthebellymovesinandout.Thetraditionaldescriptionisthattheshouldersshouldbeback.Thehandsareplacedinthelapwiththelefthandontopoftheright,withthetipsofthethumbsjusttouching.Thetongueisplacedonthehardpalatebehindtheteeth.Theheadistiltedslightlydownandthegazeisrunningjustalongthelineofthenose.Thefocusofthegazeiseitheronanexternalobjectthatyou’veplacedthere,oryoucanfocusonamarkonthefloorinfrontofyou.
Traditionallytheysaythatitisbesttoputyourlegsinthelotusposition.Thisisforseveralreasons,mainlytobindthepositionofthespinesothatitislesslikelytocollapse.However,sincewesitinchairsmostofthetimethatkindofpostureisoftennoteasy.Thekeythingistofeelhowyourheadisrestingdownthroughthevertebrae,andthatyouarenotstrainingyourselfinanyway.
Insomesystemstheywouldsaythatitisveryimportantnottomoveyourbody.ButaccordingtothetraditionsI’vetrainedinifyouneedtomoveyourbody,thenmoveyourbody.Ifyourkneesbecomesorethenmoveyourleg,andthendon’tstayconcernedwithyourknee,sincethefocusofattentionisnottheknee.Thefocusofattentionisthebreath.Ifyourkneegetsverysorebutyouaretryingtokeepyourattentiononyourbreath,youhavetwocompetingfociforyourattention.Youmaywishtobeadharmaheroandpushrightthrough,butitisalsopossibletocrippleyourselfbynotlisteningtothebody.
Insomepracticestheysayyoushouldkeepyoureyesopenwithoutblinking;thisisveryunkindtotheeyeball.Theeyeballiswetanditneedstoblinktospreadthewateroverthesurface.Wearenotblinkingbecausewehavebadeyes;weareblinkingbecausewehaveclevereyesthatareabletosaywhattheywant.
Whenyoutrytocontrolyourbodythisisthedomainoftheego,becausetheegoisconcernedwithmastery.Maybewetrytocontrolourchildrenandfindthatabitdifficult.Wetrytocontrolourbody,andthat’sdifficulttoo.Whenwetrytocontrolourmindwediscoverthatisalsoprettydifficult.Oneofthefunctionsofpracticeistoreallyexaminetheparadigmofcontrol.Indzogchenwearemovingfromthatvisionofexistencetowardsavisionofcollaborationandintegration.
Butinthisfirstpractice,sittingcomfortably,weadoptthisintention:Iamgoingtokeepmyattentionontheflowofbreath,oronthesimplevisualobjectinfrontofme.Wheneverotherthoughtsorfeelingsarise,withoutbeingcaughtupinthem,Iwillsimplyreturntothefocus.Assoonaswefindthemindwanderinginwhateverway,wejustgentlybringitback.Ifyourbackgetssoreandyouneedtobenditalittle,thenjustbenditwhilekeepingthefocusonthebreathorthevisualobject.
Itisabsolutelycertainthatyouwillgetdistractedsincebeingdistractediswhatwenormallydo.Thereisnopointinblamingourselves,orgettingangryorupsetthatwearedistracted.Justinthemostsimpleneutralway,recognisewhenyouhavegoneoffonajourney,andverygentlycomebacktothefocusyouhavedecidedon.Whereveryougoisnotabadplace;itissimplynotwhatyoushouldbedoingatthistime.
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It’sthesamewhenchildrenhavebeenrunningaroundintheplayground,andthencomeintotheclassroom.Theteachersays,‘OK,nowyouhavetobequiet.Intheplaygroundyourunaroundandmakelotsofnoise,andintheclassroomyouarequietandtrytolearnsomething.It’snotthatrunningaroundandmakinganoiseisbad;wejustdon’tdoitintheclassroom.’It’sthesamewiththemeditation.Thoughtsarenottheenemies.Thesearenotbadthoughtswhichareattackingyou,thesearejustthoughtsdoingwhatthoughtsdo.Thoughtsdon’tknowthedifferencebetweentheplaygroundandtheclassroomsojustbeverynicewiththem.Backtoclass!
OK,shallwetrythis?
[Shinépractice]
Thetraditionalfunctionofthispracticeistoachieveastateofabsorptioninwhichthesenseconsciousnessesareabsorbedintothebasicmentalconsciousness,sothatconsciousnessthenremainsfocusedonthesimpleobject.Withthatabsorptionthepossibilitiesofdistractionstarttorecede.Weknowthisstatefromordinaryexistence.Ifyoufindagoodnovelandyoureallygetimmersedinit,evenifsomebodyspeakstoyou,youmayhardlyhearthembecauseyouaresocompletelycaughtupinthestory.
Ofcourse,whenyouarereadinganovelorwatchingafilm,theobjectofabsorptionischangingallthetimesoyouhavebothfocusedattentionandfascination.Whenyouarewatchingyourbreath,itisnotfascinating.Thismeansthatinsteadofthepowerofthepracticeholdingyouandmakingtheabsorptionpossible,youarehavingtorelymuchmoreontheintention;themovementasaconscioussubjectof‘Iwilldothis’.It’sapullingtogetherofyourself.
Thisisaveryusefulpreparatorypracticeformeditationsthatwewilldolater,becauseitallowsustocreateasituationinwhichtherearefewvariables.Thishelpsusmakeastarttoexaminewhatwewanttoexamine.It’sasifyouwereworkinginascientificlaboratoryandyoudidanexperimentusingmanybeakers,jars,andtubes,andthenyoudidanotherexperimentusingthesameinstrumentsbutwithoutcleaningthem.Youwouldneverbeconfidentintheresultinthesecondexperimentbecausetherewouldbeacontaminationofthetracechemicalsleftinthecontainersfromthefirstexperiment.
Sothispracticeisakindofbasiccleansingwhichallowsustohavesomeconfidencethatwhenthevariousthoughtsandfeelingscome,theydon’tcatchus,theydon’tmarkus,theydon’tcontaminateusandleaveanytraces.Theyarejustcomingandgoingandwemaintainasimpleclarity.
Thedifferencebetweenthisstateofundisturbedconsciousnessandwhatisreferredtoas‘awareness’isthatitismanifestingitselfinrelationtoaparticularobject.Awareness,incontrast,isamorepanoramicstatethatisnotrestingon,norarisinginrelationto,anyparticularobject.
Learningtobreatheproperly
Oneimportantfactoristhenatureofthebreath.Ifwewanttohelpourselvesgenerallyinlife,butalsoinmeditation,thefirstthingtolearnishowtobreatheproperly.Whenour
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organismisrelaxedthebreathisdeepandslow.Youcanseethisifyouwatchacatwhenitisrelaxed.Thecathasafantasticabilitytorelaxitsmusclesandthebreathisjustdeepandslow.Thisisnotacut‐offstatebecauseimmediatelythereisasoundoradisturbancethecatisalert.
Similarlyforus,themorewecanrestdownintothediaphragm,looseningthetensioncontainedinthismuscularwall,themorethebreathcandeepen.Thisprovidesamassagingoftheinternalorgansandinparticulartheareawecallthesolarplexus.Theterm‘solarplexus’clearlyimpliesacentreofenergy,andthisisaconceptyouwillfindinmostAsianculturesaswell.Thecentreoftheenergyofthebodyistwo‐and‐a‐halffingersbelowthenavel.Whenthebreathisslowanddeepthiscentreofenergyismassagedandopened,whichprovidesareceptivitytotheexternalenvironmentaswellashelpingtheboweltorelax.Modernanatomyshowsthatthebowelisincrediblyrichinnerveendings,andsothecommunicationbetweenthebowelandthebrainbecomesrelaxedandeasy.Thesympatheticnervoussystem,anautomaticnervoussystem,isalsorelaxed.Thesympatheticnervoussystemisthewayinwhichthebodyrespondstoacallforalertness.Amessageissentuptothefrontallobesofthebrainviatheneuro‐endocrinesystemtoalertusthatsomethingisgoingon,andthatthenactivatesthefamiliarresponsesoffightandflight,orfreezeandflop.
Findingyourbreathwhenyouareagitated
Modernlifeisfullofagitationandformostofusthesesystemsarecookingonaslowburnerallthetime.InLondon,thecultofthemobilephoneisintense.Whenyouwalkdownthestreetatleastathirdofpeopleseemtobesomewhereelse;theyarenotintheirbodies,andtheyarenotconnectedwiththeenvironment.Youhavetoconstantlythinkaboutwhatthepersoninfrontofyouisgoingtodo.Thepersonwhoislookingattheirtextmessageortalkingontheirphonewhilewalkingalongtheroadisnotattentivetothefactthatotherpeoplearecomingtowardsthem.Theyhavehandedovertootherpeopletheirresponsibilityforsecurity.IfindnowthatwhenIamwalkingdownthestreet,Iamhavingtothinkaboutwhetherthispersoninfrontofmeissuddenlygoingtostopdeadintheirtracks.Theseenvironmentalprovocationscreateastateofmildagitationorhyper‐alertness.
Therefore,ifwedevelopthehabitofjustcheckingourbreathandnoticinghowwearebreathing,thiswillhelpusbeawareofhowmuchtensionwearecarryinginsideourselves.Wecanthenreturntodiaphragmbreathingandrelaxmore.Thisisimportant,notjustsothatwefeelmoreateaseintheworld,butwhenthemovementofthehormoneslikeadrenalineandcortisolareinthefrontallobes,thecapacityforreflectivethoughtisreduced.Thiscanexplainwhypeoplesometimesdon’tdowellinexaminationssinceanxietymakesyoustupid.
Anxietycanalsokeepyousafe.Ifyouarethinkingaboutthemeaningoflifeandalioncomestoeatyou,thenitisveryimportantthatyouareabletodropyourprofoundthoughtandrunveryquickly!However,ifyouareinaschoolexamthereisnowheretorun,sothefunctionoftheanxietyknocksoutthecapacitytobefullythereinrelationtoyourownlearningandthetopic.
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Anxietyalsobringsaparticulartilttohowweembodyoursenses.Acapacitytoregisterdangeroussituationsisimportant,butthatisaselectiveattention:itmeansthatthebroadest,panoramicsenseofthelivedenvironmentisnotbeingrevealedbecausewearenowpro‐activelylookingforsomething.Thismeansthatwedeprivingourselvesofalotofotherinformationthatmightactuallyreassureusthatitisokay,soagain,itisveryimportanttobeabletofindyourbreath.
Theeasiestwaytodothisistolieontheground,loosenanythingthatistightaroundyourwaist,andbreatheslowlyanddeeply.Imaginethattheairislikeabottleofwaterthatyouarepouringandit’sgoingintoyouandfillingyoufromthebottomup.Don’tfocusyourattentionontheupperchest,whichiswhereweoftenfeelthebreath;feelitinsteadinthedepthofthelungspushingdownonthediaphragm.Whenyoudothat,thepressureofthedownwardmovementofthediaphragmwillforceyourstomachout.
Asyouliequietlyontheground,justputyourhandonyourstomachandyoushouldfeelitgoingupanddown.Whenyouexhale,youbreatheoutfromthelowerabdomensothatthefinalpartoftheexhalationcomesfromtheupperchest.Themoreyouareabletodothat,themoreyouwillbeabletorecognisewhenyouaremovingawayfromit.Inthisway,itissimilartotheshinémeditationpracticethatweweredoing.
Onceyouhaveabasicconfidenceinthat,whatisalsoveryusefulistorunarounduntilyougetoutofbreath,andthensitdownwhenyouaregaspingforbreath.Youthenrelaxbackintothebreathandbringitbackslowlytoabdominalbreathing.Youcangraduallybegintobuildtheconfidencethatnomatterhowdisturbedandagitatedyourbreathisyoucanre‐centreyourselfinit.
Thisisthebestantidotetopanicattacks,butitisalsovitalforthepracticeofdzogchenbecauseweneedtohaveabasiccalmnessinthemidstofallstates.Themoreyoucanexperiencethemovementofthebreathfromcalmanddeep,tolightandagitated,themoreyoucanstarttoberelaxedandopeninthemidstofstatesofagitationbecauseyouwon’tbefeelingoverwhelmedbythem.
Inmyexperience,themainproblemthatpatientsbringtopsychotherapyisbeingoverwhelmedbystatesofdisappointment,anxiety,depressionandsoon,theincapacitytoinhabitone’sexistenceasitis.Thefeltsenseisthat‘Thisshouldn’tbehappening’,and‘Ican’tcopewiththis’;‘theobjectorsituationiswrong’and‘Idon’thavetheresourcestodealwithit’whichshowthatabadobjectandcrappysubjectcreatealotofgrief.
Ifyouhavethecapacitytoresteasilyinyourbreathyoucomebacktotheoptimalsenseofyourownresources.Youresourceyourselfbyre‐sourcing,bygoingbacktotheverysourceofyourembodiedbeing.Therefore,findingawaytoinhabityourbreathandtobeathomewithitandexperiencehowitmovesisveryhelpful.
Shallwetakeabreakhere?
Vipassanameditation:lesseningthepowerofprojection
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Nowwewilllookatthepracticecalledvipassana,calledlhag‐tonginTibetan.Lhagmeansgoodorbest,andtongmeanslooking.Thebestkindoflookingisthelookingthatletsyouseewhatisthere,soinasenseitisanattempttolessenthepowerofprojection.
Thefocusofattentionisthebody.Weallhaveabody.Thisseemslikeareasonablethingtosaybutitalsoaridiculousthingtosaybecausewedon’texistapartfromourbody.Idon’t‘have’abodyinthewaythatIcanhaveawatch.Clearly,IinhabitabodybutIamalsoinhabitedbymybody.
Thenatureoftheselfandsubjectivityisnotsomethingthatwecanavoidoncewestarttoexamineourembodiedexistence.Thebodyisafieldofexperienceproducingpleasureandpain.Thebodysupportsandisthebasisforouractivity,anditalsolimitsouractivitysincewecanimaginedoingthingsthatourbodyisnotcapableof.Ifwegetsickorwebecomeoldertherearemanythingsthatweusedtodowhichwecannolongerdo;sothementalbodyandthephysicalbodyarenotthesame.Aschildrengrowup,ifyouaskthemtoplayagametheyusedtoplayafewyearsearliertheywillfeelembarrassedandinsulted.Fouryearoldssay,‘I’mnotababyanymore!’Eightyearoldssay,‘I’mnotaninfant!’Teenagerssay,‘I’mnotachild!’Becauseofthattheydeprivethemselvesthepleasureofdoingthesethings.
Inthatway,wecanseehowmentalconstructionsexistinanongoingdialoguewiththepotentialofthisembodiedexistence.However,weoftenapproachourbodyintermsofconceptsandabstractions.Wethinkaboutourbodyintermsofsomekindofframeofreference;thiscouldbeimagesseeninafashionmagazine,ormemoriesofhowweusedtobe.Wehavethoughtsaboutourbodybutperhapslittlesenseofdirectlyexperiencingthedynamicnatureofembodiment.
Exploringembodiedexistence
Invipassanameditationwewanttoexplorethebodyasitrevealsitselfdirectly,totrytoseesimplyandclearlywhatistherewithoutcoveringitupwithournormalinterpretivecategories.Oftenourcategoriesofinterpretationhavebeenlearntinearlychildhood,ortakeninfromthecultureanddon’tfitusverywell.
Webeginthispracticeinthesamewayastheshiné;sittingcomfortablyinthesamepostureandtakingupafocusedattentiononthebreath.Whenyouhavethesenseoffocusedattention,movethatattentionfromthenostrils,thispreviouspointofattention,tothetopofyourhead.Youarenottryingtolookatthetopofyourhead,youarejustfeelingwhatisthere;youaretakinganimprintoramarkofwhatisthere.Youthentakethatattentionmovingitrightdownyourbodytoyourfeetandthenbackupagain.
Allowsensationstoregisterintheirmostraw,directform.Forexample,let’ssaythereissometensioninyourshoulder,whatwenormallymightcall‘pain’.Assoonasyouhavetheconceptofpain,categoriesoflikeanddislikeareimmediatelyapplied.‘IhaveapaininmyshoulderandIdon’tlikeit’,leadsusveryeasilyinto‘WhatwillIdoaboutit?’‘Maybeafriendcanmassagemyshoulder’...Lotsofthoughtsarelikelytoarise.
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Whatwewanttoputintoquestionisthisnotionofpain.Painisaninterpretation.Whatistherawdata–therawinformation–underlyingwhathasbeeninterpretedasbeingpain?Insteadofyourmindactivelygoingtowardswhatisoccurringandmakingsenseofit,westayopentowhatispresentingitselfandjusttrytonameitinthesimplestwordswehave.Youmighthaveafeelingoftearing,orburning,ordullness.Registerasimpledescriptionandthencontinuemovingdown,sothatthebodyisallowedtorevealitselfasitpresentsitselfwithoutyouorganisingtheinformationintoyourfamiliarcategories.Continuetoyourfeetandbackupagain.
Ofcourseifyouhavealreadydevelopedasensethatyourshoulderissore,whenyoucomebackuptoyourshoulderyouaregoingtobelookingtoseehowthepainis,asithasalreadyhookedakindofselectiveattention.Oneoftheadvantagesofnotcreatingthiscompositeimageisthatwhenyoucomebacktoyourshoulder,ifallyouhadwas‘scratching,’thereisnotmuchtobuildonandyoucanbemoreopentowhatisthere.Bringingafreshattentionmomentbymomentisveryimportantformeditation.
Ourlivesarewovenalongthisvectoroftimeanditisasifyouareweavingonethreadacrossanotherthread.Theverticalwarpthreadistimeandacrossitgoesthehorizontalwoofthreadofmovementofevents.Ourweavingisnotjustontwodimensionsbutbecomesmultidimensionalandwhenwedoublebackthepresentmomentgetslinkedwiththepastandwiththefuture.Whatwewanttodoistoavoidthisweaving,thisbuildingupofpicturesofwhatisgoingon.
Ratherthanhavetheegoastheking–theonewhoisincharge–theonewhoistellingthestoryofwhatisgoingon–ourattentionisnowmoreliketheservantjustdoinganinventoryofpossessionsintheroyalpalace.Thesearenotourpossessions;wearenotallowedtotouchthemorchangethem.Wejusthaveourchecklisttickingoffwhatisthereasitis.Thatisouronlyfunction,averysimplifiedattentiontowhatrevealsitself.
Sonowwewilldothepractice.Ifyoufindyourselvesgettingcaughtupinthoughtsjustgobacktothebreathandre‐establishaclarityoffocus,andreturntoslowlyscanningupanddownthroughthebody.Ofcourse,wearenotallthesameandeachofushasourownuniquecapacityandexperienceofbeingourselves,soyouneedtoexploreforyourselfwhatisagoodspeedtomoveat,workingoutwhatistoofastortooslowuntilyoufindawayofdoingitthatsuitsyou.
Anyquestionsbeforewebegin?
Question:Isitimportanttobeginthescreeningfromthetopofthebodyfirst?
James:Whatevertakesyourfancy.
Question:Withthispracticeareweonlyexaminingphysicalsensation,notmentalprocesses?
James:Youmightfindthatamentalafflictionislocatedinthebody.Youmight,forexample,findinyourbellysomeanxietyoragitationorinyourheartsomeworry.Thesameprinciplewouldapplyinnamingitwiththesimplestpossibleterm,theonethathasthefewesthooksforelaborationandinterpretation.
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Question:Isthispracticealsousefulforblockingoutpainlikeatthedentistorthroughtorture?
James:Itwouldn’tbethebestmethod.Ifyouweregoingtothedentistthenstayingpresentwiththepainandexploringitwouldbegoodifyouhavealotofcapacity.Butitwouldbemuchbettertorelaxintothebellychakraandkeeptheenergythererelaxedandopen.Ifyouarelikelytobetorturedwecandiscussabetterway.
OK,let’sdothepractice.
[Vipassanapractice]
Vipassanaislikeabstractart–norepresentation
Ithinkit’saveryhelpfulpracticebecausesomuchofourworldiscaughtupinrepresentations.Inthehistoryofwesternart,untilabout1850artwasmostlycaughtupinattemptsatdirectrepresentation.Ofcoursetherewereformalistic,naturalistic,andotherschools,butnonethelessintheperiodpriortophotographytheattemptwastoshowsomethingofwhatisthere.Thenwiththeimpressioniststheartistsisdepictingtheimpression,theimpactoftheenvironmentonthem.Ithinkwhenwereallygetintoapracticelikevipassanaitislikelivingaqualityofabstractexpressionism.
Thatistosay,youhaveacanvaswithcolours,andthereisnothinginparticularthatthecoloursaresayingexceptthepainterlyqualityofbeingthecolour.Ofcourseyoucanprojectallsortsofinterpretationsontothatbutthecolouritselfstartstosingandresonateifyouspendtimewithit.Youcometoexperiencetheimplicitorderofthatwhichhasnotbeenartificiallyordered.It’snotcomingintoagestalt.It’snotcreatingashapewherebyoneknowsthatthereisakindofdefinitionofsomething.Rather,thereistheimmediacyofanimpactthatisjustitself;itdoesn’timplyanythingelse.Onedoesn’tneedtogoanywherewithitorfindsomemeaninginit,soitoffersthepossibilityofrelaxingordeconstructingthewholeincrediblyinterpretivemechanismthatwehavespentsomanyyearsbuildingup.
Inthesameway,themorewedothispractice,themorewecanseethatthereisnothingtodowiththebodyexceptperhapstoinhabititorofferhospitalitytoitasanungraspable,ceaselessmovementofimpact.Wecometoseethatthereisanaturalokaynessinthis;lifegoeson,eventhoughyouarenotincharge.IfIdon’tholdittogethereverythingisstillokay.Somaybe‘Icouldhaveaholidayfrommyjobasworldemperor’!Fromthatnicepositionofaholiday,lifeissomehowmorevibrantandresponsive.
OK,wewillhaveabreakforlunchnow.
[Break]
Establishingemptinessthroughanalysis
Wewilllooknowatemptiness.TherearenowmanydiscussionsanddescriptionsofemptinessintranslationsavailableinalltheEuropeanlanguages.Therearetwomainstyles,oraspects,ofexplorationofemptiness.Oneisanalytic,theotheristhroughdirectexperiencerevealedinmeditationpractice.
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Intheformerwemight,forexample,takeaphenomenonlikeaglassandthroughexaminationestablishthattheglasshasnoinherentself‐nature.Weseethattheglassstandshoveringinthemidstofacomplexsituation.Thereisthecausalmatrixoutofwhichtheglassarose,meaningnotjustthespecificingredientsoftheglassIamholding,butthattheglassonlycameintoexistencebecausesomebodywantedittobemade.Thereisthedesireoftheowneroftheglassfactory,whichislinkedtothepossibilitiesofthemarket.Youcanseehoweachofthesepointscanspreadoutintomany,manyotherlinesofconnectionanddependence.Itcanembodythehistoryofglass‐making;itisheldinplacebythefactthatthesupportivefactorsthatstopitbeingbrokenaremorepowerfulthanthefactorsthatcouldleadtoitbeingbroken.
Theabsenceofdestructivefactorsisoftentakenforgranted.Recently,therewasabigearthquakeinItalywhereallofasuddentheearthshookandbuildingsfelldown.Buildingsaremaintainedbycertainqualitiesoftheirstructuresuchashowthewallsareinrelationtothelineofgravity,thenatureofthefoundations,thequalityofcementandsoon.Underordinaryconditionsthesefactorsofmaintenancearepowerfulenoughtoresistsmalldisturbances.However,whenanearthquakeoccurs–thevibration–thefactorofdestruction–isgreaterthanthefactorsofmaintenance.
Wetendtounderstanddestructionbythinkingthatsomethingterriblehashappened.Thesegoodpeoplegoingabouttheirordinarylives,orasleepinbed,havehadthisterribleaccidenthappentothem…Partofthatisbecausewewanttobelievethatbuildingsarestable.Wewanttobelievethatthingsstaywhereweputthemsothatwecanmakeaccuratepredictionsabouthowthefuturewillbe.
Butwhatemptinessillustratesisthatwhatappearstobeaseparateentityandthereforeself‐defined,isinfactsomethingatthemercyofmanyotherforces.Theseforcesareinvisiblemostofthetime,buttheyarealwaysinoperation.Theglasslooksstaticbecauseoftherepetitionofcertainrhythmicpatterns.Thefundamentalqualityofthemolecules,theatoms,thesub‐nuclearparticles,arethemselvessimplyvibration.Bytheoperationofthesefactorscomingtogether,theformofastableglassiscreatedandwillendureforawhile.Whenwelookatthisthinginmyhand,weseeaglass.Ifweweren’tabletodothatpeoplewouldsay,‘Oh,thispersonisabitstupid.’
Normally,wethinkitisasignofintelligencetoidentifyanobject,butfromthebuddhistpointofviewit’sakindofstupidity.Itisthestupidityofnotseeingthedynamiceventandthisisthesameforeverything.Howthisroomfeelsdependsontheamountofcloudsinthesky,ontheheating...Peoplewentoutoftheroomforlunchsothetemperaturedropped.Nowthatweareallback,ourbodiesactaslittleheaters;aftersometimethetemperaturewillgoupagain.Althoughwesayit’scold,essentiallythisisonlyhalfasentence;it’scoldatthemoment,giventhetemperatureofmybodyandmyexpectationaboutthetemperatureoftheroom.
Adynamicinterrelatedness
Thebuddhistconceptofemptinessissayingthattheentireuniverseisrelational.Therearenofixedthings;therearenotrueself‐existingentities;everythingisinter‐related,notinastaticway,butinadynamicway.Itisimpossibletoreallytalkaboutthisbecauseeverything
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isrelated.Usingatermlike‘everything’somehowconjuresuptheideathattherearethings.Whatthereare,aremomentsofexperienceandthesemomentsofexperiencecometogethertocreatepatterns.
WhenIholdthisglassup,partofthemomentofexperienceisaperception.Thevisualperceptionofthisisinfluencedbythedirectionoflightintheroomandbythenatureofyourownvision.Maybeyouneedglasses?Inwhichcasewhenyoulookattheglassyoudon’tseeitveryclearly.WhenIhadtogetglassesforreadingitwasaveryhelpfulreminderthateverythingisdependentco‐originationbecauseIalwayshadgoodeyesightandthenIhadnot‐so‐goodeyesight.Sayingmyeyesare‘good’isagainhalfasentence;myeyesaregoodforawhiledependingoncertaincircumstances.
Whenwehavetheideaofmyeyestheyseemtobelongtome,andnotonlythatbuttosomehowbeanexpressionofmyself.Thethinginmyeyesthatisnotsogoodisthemuscle,andtherelaxingofthismusclewithagemeansthatIneedglassestoread.Knowingthatitismymuscledoesn’tdomuchgoodbecauseitisnotthekindofmusclethatyoucandoanythingabout.
Inthatmomentofperception,youhavethelightintheroom,thequalityoftheeye,andwhatisperceived.Butasweweredoinginthevipassanapractice,wecanseethatglassitselfisaconcept:toseetheglassmeanstohaveaconceptof‘glass’readytoprojectontowhateverthisthingthatisinmyhand.Theglass‐nessoftheglassisnotentirelyinthisthinginmyhand,norisitentirelyjustinmyhead,butitisthecomingtogetherofthesedifferentfactors.Itisthesamewitheverythingwesee;itisnotintheobject.Weneverseeobjectsthemselves;whatweexperienceisanaspectofrelatedness.
SylvesterandIaresittinghereandwehavesomerelationship.IspeakinEnglishandthenSylvestertranslatesthatintoGerman.Wecansaythattherearetwopeopleinrelationship,andaswehaveestablished,thatisbothsimpleandstupidbecauseSylvesterisanameandJamesisaname.Thetwonamesmakelifeeasybecauseboth‘James’and‘Sylvester’arechangingallthetime.Thenaminggivesusasenseofsomethingstableandenduring.
Emptinessisontheedgeoflanguage
Thisisoneofthereasonswhyemptinessisdifficulttoreallyunderstandasanexperiencebecauseitisrightontheedgeoflanguage.Languagedealswiththeconstructionofthingsthatcanbereferredtoacrosstime.“YesterdaymorningIwasworkinginLondon.”Ifweunderstandthatsentenceitcreatesanimageofsomething.ThereisaplacecalledLondon,andthereisapersoncalledJames,whoyesterdaywasinLondon.But,ofcourse,LondonisaverybigcityandIwasonlyinaverylittlepartofLondon.MostofLondonIdon’tevenknowalthoughIhavelivedthereaverylongtime.
Inthatway,whenwespeak,wearealwayscreatingpartialtruths–littlegesturesorhints–butwehavetoactasiftheywerethewholestoryandsowefindourselvesinakindoftheatre:thetheatreof‘asif’.Thetheatrebeginswithsuspendingdisbelief.Whenyougotothetheatreyouknowatonelevelthatthepeoplewhoappearonthestageareactorsandtheyarepaidmoneytopretendtobesomebodyelse.Whentheycomeontothestagewe
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arehappytobelievethattheyarewhoevertheytellustheyare.Wewanttobetakenin;wewanttogetlost.Thisisveryprofound.
Childrenunderstandthisverywell.Sometimes,inthemorning,Iseechildrenontheirwaytoalocalschool.Iseealittlegirlagedaboutsixandshehasalovelylittledresswithlotsofchiffonunderlayers,alittletiara,andawand.Forherself,sheisamagicalprincessgoingtoschool,butsheisnotreallyaprincess.Wecouldsaythatsheisalittlegirlpretendingtobeaprincess,orwecansaysheisreallyaprincesswhohasbeencapturedbyanevilwitch,hermother,whokeepstellingherthatsheisjustalittlegirl!Sincethispersonwasbornpeoplehavesaidsheisalittlegirl,andalltheculturalreadingsaboutgenderhavebeenmassagedintohersothatshecomestobelievethatsheisagirlandsheshouldbethewaygirlsare.Thegirl‐nessofthegirlisnotinthegirl;itisintherelationbetweenthecultureandthegirl.Theformthatthegirlisabletomanifestindependsontheenvironmentinwhichsheis.Evenwhenwesay,‘inwhichsheis,’weimaginethatthereisagirlwhocouldbedippedintotheculturethewayshecanbepoppedintothebathattheendoftheday.However,wedon’tgetintoculturethewaywegetintoourpyjamas.Webecomeourselvesthroughtheinteractionwiththeculture.Thereisnot‘agirl’thatyoucanseparatefromtheculture.Evenwiththeriseoffeminismandwomentryingtotakepatriarchyoutofthemselves,theyaresimultaneouslyputtinganewkindofcultureintothemselvesbydevelopingthemselvesinrelationtonewideas,possibilities,consciousnessraisinggroups,andsoon.
Thisisthenatureofemptiness.Ourexistenceprovidesnothingtoclearlygraspsuchas‘thisiswhoIam’or‘thisiswhatIam’.Rather,weexistasthismovementofenergywithinafieldofenergy,inwhichwehavecontactwithpeoplewhocauseinsomecasesexpansionandinothercasescontraction.Wecantalkaboutthatintermsof‘Ilikethisperson’,or‘Idon’tlikethatperson’.Butgenerallythesereactionsarepriortolanguage,beingenergeticresonancesthataredependentontheparticularconstellationsofourkarmaorhistoryasitmanifestsmomentbymoment.
Whenweattendtotheimmediacyoftheexperienceofbeingwithourbody,andalsobeingwithothers,wefindpulsations.Thesepulsationsdon’tlastverylong;theyariseandpass.Theyareimpermanentandtheyarealsoself‐liberating;theygobythemselves.Amomentisthereandthenthatmomentisover.Ifconditionsareright,themomentcanberepeated,butweneverknowifamomentcanberepeatedbecausewe,asanegoself,arenotthecreatoroftheconditions.However,ontopofthat,anotherintersectinglineofemergenceisourlinguisticlevelonwhichwecansay‘IlikethatthereforeIwantmoreofit’,or‘Idon’tlikethatthereforeIwantlessofit’.
Whenweseesomethingthatwelikewesay‘Itisgood’.Thisisareallyimportantlinguisticmovethatwemake,becauseifIweretosay,‘Ilikethisglass,’Iwouldbespeakingofarelationshipwherethereissomethingimmediate,direct,andconnectedbetweenmeandtheglass.Iwouldbetalkingthenaboutme,sothestatusofmystatementrelatesjusttomeandtheglass,‘Ilikethisglass’.Fromthatthereisnobasisforsaying,‘…andsoyoushouldlikeittoo’.ButifIsay,’Thisisagoodglass’,thefeeling‐tonethatwasinsidemeisnowputintotheglassandseemstobesittingtherebyitself.SinceIhaveestablishedthatthisisa‘good’glasstheremustbesomethingwrongwithyouifyoudon’tagree!Thisisbecausethegoodnessoftheglassisnowde‐contextualisedandexistsoutsideoftimeandspace,sothisisa‘good’glassforeverandever...Nobodycandoubtitsgoodness.
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Thisisthedifferencebetweensamsaraandnirvana.Samsaraisthestateinwhichwecutoffthedynamic,energetic,ongoingrelatednessofwhatwecall‘allphenomena’.Wefindourselvesinaworldofseparatethings,internallydefined,andseeminglyenduringinthatway.Clearlythisisnotwhatweexperience.Evenifwedon’tspendmuchtimedeeplyobservingourexperienceweknowthatthisisnothowtheworldis.
Lettinggoofmapsandassumptions
ThecityIlivedinasaschoolboywasattackedbyademonforceofarchitectsinthe1960s.Thesewereaparticularlyterriblekindofarchitectswhomakehousesforotherpeoplethattheywouldnevereverliveinthemselves!Wholevastareasofthecitybuiltofbeautifuloldsandstoneweredemolished,andthepeopleweremovedfromtheirhomestonewhousingestatesmadeofcementontheoutskirtsofthecity.Theserapidlybecameveryterrible.
Mymotheralwaysusedtosay,‘Oh,they’vespoiltthecity.They’veruinedGlasgow.’Thiswastruefromanemotionalpointofview,butwhereisthecitytheyhavedestroyed?Shehadamentalimageinherheadofthecitythatsheknewfromherchildhoodandthatcityremainedherbasicmap.Althoughallkindsofone‐waysystems,flyovers,androundaboutswerebuilt,mymothercontinuedtogivepeopledirectionsintermsofthebusroutesastheyhadoperatedfortyyearsearlier,becausethatwashercity!
Thisisaproblemintakingthingsasstronglyreal.Assoonasweestablishsomething,theimpermanentnatureofallphenomenaisimmediatelyautomaticallyoperating.Weliveinthisconstantdisjunctivedialoguebetweentheworldthatweexperiencethroughoursensesandthemapsweformulateinourhead.Themorewecancomeoutofthemapandbewiththeworldasitpresentsitselfmomentbymoment,themorewehavethepossibilityofbeingmorealiveandmoreresponsive.
However,thiscomesatsomecost.Thecostisthatyoucan’trelyonyourautomaticpilot–thatmapofassumptionsandpredictionsthatwillallowyoutooperatewithoutreallyattendingtowhat’sgoingon.
WhenIwasayoungmanIusedtowalkalotinthehillsofScotland.Therewasoftenmistcomingdownoverthehills.Ifyouhaveadetailedcontourmap,whenthemistclears,youcanworkoutwhereyouare.Ifyoudon’thaveamapitcanbequitedifficultsinceallthehillslookthesameandifthemististhickitisdifficulttoworkoutyourdirection.
Inthesameway,weusethemapsthatwehaveinsideourselvestomakesenseofthesituation.Allofushavearangeofmaps.Wehavemapsfromourmother,ourfather,fromtelevision,fromschool,andfromfriends.Onceyoustartgivingupthesemaps,howwillyoubehave?Whatwillyoudo?
Whenwestarttodropourassumptions,anxietyarises,becauseoneofthefunctionsofmapsistotellyouinadvancewhatyoucanexpect.Whenyoumeetsomeoneforthefirsttimeyoudon’tknowwhattodo.Ifyoustarttogetclosertothemit’sevenmoredifficultbecauseyouthink,‘HowwillIbehave?WhatdoIwant?Whatdotheywant?’Itisdifficulttoknow.Usuallywehavesomemapsthattellus,someinterpretivematrixwehaveinourhead.Ifthesituationisintensewemightredrawourmapalittlebitsoitwillfit.Ifthe
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situationislesscertainwemaygobacktoourmapandsay,‘Eh,whatisthepointofthis?Itdoesn’tfitmymap.’
Alotofmeditationpracticeisaboutdissolving,de‐constructing,andlettinggoofmaps.Becauseofthatnewkindsofanxietycanariseespeciallyaroundthetopicof‘HowwillIknowifwhatIdoisrightorwrong?’Generallyspeaking,theworldwilltellus.Ifyoudrivedownastreetandyouaregoingthewrongwaysomebodyisgoingtotoottheirhorn.Thetruthofasituationdoesn’tlieineitherpolarity,butliesinthemeetingpointofthepolarity.
Imagineaninfinitysymbollikeafigureofeightonitsside∞;eachendpointislikeSylvesterandmeandwherewemeetisthiscrossingover,thishookinginthemiddle.Weactuallyonlymeetinthismiddlepoint.Whateverkindofconnectionwecanhavearisesbythemovingtogetherofthisqualityofenergythatopensandclosesaccordingtodifferentfactors.Thequalityofthatisdeterminedbytheopennessinthetwopolarpoints.
Forexample,ifIamtalkingwithSylvesterandenjoyingtheconversationthenifthephoneringsandSylvestergoestoanswerit,Imayfeelverywounded.Imaythinkhedoesn’tlikememuchorthatsomeoneelseismoreimportantthanme.Thiskindofnarcissisticwoundingisverypopularinlovestories:’IthoughtIwasthewholeworldtoyou...Ifyoureallylovedme,youwouldneverleaveme’.Inthisway,theclosingdown–thefixationaroundtheself‐referential,self‐reassuringneedofoneegopoint–collapsesthepossibilityofopencommunication.
Emptinessandcompassion
Tantradescribesthisastheinseparabilityofemptinessandcompassion:themoreweexperiencethelackofafixed,sustainable,definedidentityinbothourselvesandtheother,themorewecanmoveawayfromtryingtocontroltheotherpersonintoconfirmingwhowethinkweare.Wecanthenbecomefreetorespondintothesituationasitactuallyis.
WhenwesaywewanttotaketheBodhisattvaVow,saying‘Iwanttodevotethislifeandallmyfuturelivestothebenefitofallsentientbeings’,isveryeasytodoasageneralstatement.Savingallsentientbeingsisveryeasy.Tryingtosavetheonepersonthatisinfrontofyouismuchmoredifficultbecauseallsentientbeingswanttobesaved.
Wesitinmeditationandsendoutraysoflight,andtheseraysoflightdissolveintoallsentientbeings;alltheirsinsandlimitationsareremovedandtheyfeelhappy,relaxed,andsmiling.Likeaflockofbirdstheyflyupintothepurebuddhaland.Thisiscalledpractice.However,whenyoufinishyourpracticeandyoucomeoutandmeetarealpersonwhodoesn’tflyawayordoesn’twanttoabsorbyourbeautifulwords,ratherevenwantstopointoutyourmistakes,thenyouhavetherealbasisofcompassion.
Thethreecircles:emptinessofself,ofother,andoftherelationshipbetween
Fromadharmapointofviewthethingwethenhavetodoistoactivatewhatarecalledthethreecircles,whichistheemptinessofself,other,andoftherelationshipbetween.
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Thisisacentralpartofpractice.Therearetwolevelstoknowingyourlimitations.Thereisknowingyourlimitationsinprivateinwhichyoumightsitinyourpracticeorbeintherapy…Therapyisakindofprivatesituationwhereyoumighttalkaboutwhatiswrongwithyouandhowyouarelimitedandyoucanbequitehonestandopenaboutwhoyouactuallyare.
Thenthereisthesecondlevelinwhichotherpeopletellyouwhatiswrongwithyou,especiallywhentheyareangry.Thisismuchmoredifficulttoaccept,becauseinthemomentwhensomeonetellsyouthatyouarebeinglazyorselfishwhatisbeingpresentedisadescriptionofyourbehaviour.Youmightknowthattheyaredescribingyourbehaviouraccuratelybutsomehowthedescriptionseemstogorightintoyourheartandyoufeelanontologicalattack:‘Myverybeingintheworldisbeingpinned’.
Thisiswherewecanunderstandhowfarwearefromintegratingemptinessandcompassion.Thisiswhy,particularlyindzogchen,thefocusisnotsomuchondoinglongretreatsunderstablecircumstancesbutisaboutdoingareasonableamountofpracticeandtakingitintotheworld,becausetheenvironmentwillalwaysbepushingyouonthepointswhereyoureact.
Wecantakeafewminutestoreflectonwhatarethepointsaroundwhichwemostquicklyclosedown,orgetknottedordefensive,andthentrytotalkabitaboutthatwiththepersonsittingnexttoyou.
Thatmightseemlikeaveryintimatethingtodosincethesemaybethingsthatyoufeelabitembarrassedorashamedabout.ButtheBuddhahasexplainedthatallbeingshavethefivepoisons:stupidity,mentaldullness,assumptivethinking;desire,attachment,longing;aversion;anger;pride,narcissism,habitualself‐reference;jealousy,andthehabitofcomparingandcontrasting.Itismostlikelythatwhateveryoufindoutaboutyourselfwillfitintooneofthesefivepoints.Whateverfeelsmostpersonal,mostprivate,mostshamefulaboutourselvesisprobablysharedwitheveryoneelse.Becauseweallkeepithiddenitlookslikewearetheonlyonethathasitandthereforewewouldneverwanttoshowit!
Wehavetorememberthattheentryticketintothisworldis,tobeprettyfuckedup.Weareallhere,soIguessweallhadtheticket!
Wewilldothisforaboutfifteenminutes.
[Reflectivesharing]
Sufferingandsamsara
Oneoftherealgiftsofdharmaisthatitbeginswiththetruthofsuffering.Noneedtogetlostinfantasiesabouthowyourlifeis;ifyoureallylookyoustarttofeeltheanxietythatisattheheartofit.Therootofallsuffering,andtheattachmentwithwhichwetrytoprotectourselvesagainstanxiety,isignorance.Weforgetourownground,weforgetourownnature,andinnotknowingwhoweare,webecomeanxious.
Therearetwoaspects:thepersonalandthestructural.Itispersonalbecauseitishappeningtoyouandisyourstory,butthestructureisnotpersonal.Thestructureisthestructureofsamsara.Becauseofignorancethereisattachment,becauseofattachmentthereis
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confusedbehaviour,andbecauseofconfusedbehaviouryouhavesuffering.Yoursufferingisnotapunishment,neitherisitasignthatyouareabadperson.
Ifyoustickyourfingerinacandleflameitwillburnandpainwillarisefromthat.Justasweseethepoormothtryingagainandagaintoburnitselftodeath,sotheBuddhalooksdownandseeshumanbeingsflyingwithattachmenttowardsthethingsthatburnthemup.Themorewecanbeawareoftheimpersonalnatureofthecausalmatrix,themorewecantakeresponsibilityforourpart,whichistoremoveourselvesfromtheentrammelment–beingwrappedintotheconsequencesofthecausalmatrix.
Thisstructureisrecognized,onasmallerscaleinpsychotherapy.Peopleoftenentertherapythinking,‘Iamaterribleperson.Imakemistakesallthetime,andIseemtoupsetotherpeople.’Byhearingaboutthestructureoftheirchildhoodwecanunderstandhowpatternsbecameestablished.Thefactthatthesepatternshavebecomeestablishedisnottheperson’sfault,becauseatthetimewhentheywereverysmallandlivinginthatfamilysystemwhichputsuchapressureonthem,theyhadnochoice.Thatwasthelimitoftheirwholeworld.Weusethisdescriptionofthedevelopmentofneurosisthroughtimetofreethepersonfromthebeliefthattheyaretrulyandintrinsicallybad.Atthesametime,theymayhavealotofhabitswhichcausetroubleforthemselvesandothersandtheyhavetoworkonthesepatterns.
Itisthesameinrelationtosamsara.Duetothefunctioningofignorance,attachment,andalongaccumulationofkarma–karmageneratedinrebirthafterrebirthinwhichwemouldedandadaptedourselvestotheenvironmentwecameoutinto–wefindourselveshavingallthesetendencies:selfishness,pride,confusionandsoon.Thecauseofthisissimplythestructuralmovementofwhathappenswhenignorancearises.Inthatsenseitisnotourfault,becauseattheverybeginningtherewasn’tan‘us’toberesponsible.
However,whereweareresponsible,isthatwearenowinasituationwherewehaveaccesstomanydharmamethodsthatwecanlearnandapply.Wehavethischanceanditisuptoustouseitornot.Thisisveryimportant.
Whatwewanttodoistodevelopaverydelicatecuriosityabouthowwefunction.HowdoIcomeintoexistenceinthisparticularway?Themoreweunderstandhowwefunction,themorewecanmakedelicateadjustmentsinordertobelessidentifiedwiththesepatternsofarising,sinceitistheidentificationwithwhateverisarisingthatleadsusintothesituation.
Forexample,youcouldspendalldayinabigtrainstationlookingatthetrains;trainscomeandgobutyouarestillinthestation.That’sprettygoodandiseventhegoalofmeditation–nottotravelaroundsomuch!Italsohelpsglobalwarming.Youcutyourkarmicfootprintandyourcarbonfootprintatthesametime!Everytimethoughts,feelings,andhabitsariseinusandweareinit,theyaddalibidinalinjectionoranenergeticreinforcementtothestatusofthehabitualthought.
Ifyousmokecigarettes,everycigaretteyousmokereinforcesthetendencytosmokeandalsotheidentityof‘Iamasmoker’.Ifyoueventuallystopsmokingthatwon’tstopotherpeoplesmoking.Youmightbesittingoutsideinacaféandsomebodylightsacigarettenexttoyou.Thesmokefloatsbyandinsidethissmokearelittlehooksthatareclawingatyour
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brain.Youremindmyselfthatyouarenotasmokeranditgoesby,butifyoustillwanttosmoke,thenyoumighthaveacigarette.
Thisistheproblemwithtryingtorenouncetheworldbysayingyouwon’tdothisorthat.Evenifwearenotdoingit,someonewilldosomethingsimilarclosetous,andthatvibrationcaneasilysetoffthetendencyinourselvesagain.
Thepointofbalanceisalwaysemptiness
Thepracticeisnotaboutgettingridofthingsoroffusingintothembutofstayingveryclosesothatyoucanseehowthingsare,andthenmovingtowardsthemoutofafreegestureofresponse.It’saboutexperiencinginthemeditationpracticehowtobeascloseaspossibletowhateverisarisingandtodevelopperfectbalance.
SomeyearsagotherewasadocumentaryaboutaFrenchmanwhosetupahighwirebetweentheTwinTowersinNewYork.Thesetowerswerequitefarapartandhewastightropewalkingfromthetopofonetowertotheother.Hewascompletelyunprotected,havingnosafetynet,buthedidhaveanexquisitesenseofbalance.Thisisexactlytheheartofmeditation:nottiltingawayfromthings,nottiltingtowardsthem,butjuststayingpresentwitheverythingasitoccurs.Whenhewaswalkingacrossthislittlewirebetweenthesetwohighbuildingsthewindwasalsomovingandthewirewasresponsivetoeachstep,sohewaswalkinginadynamicworld.
Ithinkthisisaveryhelpfulexamplefornotblamingcircumstances.InEngland,intheautumn,thetrainsareoftendelayedandtherailwaysannouncethatitisduetothewrongkindsofleavesonthetrack!Thismentality,toalwaysblamesomethingelse,isalsowhatwebringintomeditation.Wecanblameourselves,wecanblamethethoughts,wecanblamethepracticeandwecanblametheteacher.Blamingisawasteoftime,ameaninglessmentalagitation.
Thekeythingistodevelopaclearphenomenologicalattentiontoseepreciselyhowyourowntendencyisandtoreturnagainandagaintothepointofbalance.Inthehighertantricteachingsandindzogchen,thepointofbalanceisalwaysemptiness.Thisemptinessoropennessmeansastatethatisungraspable.
Imagineyouareclimbingatreeandthenwanttowalkalongabranch;youcanseethereareotherbranchesaboveyousoifyoustarttowobble,youcanreachupandholdontoanotherbranch.Butwhenyouarewalkingalongthishighwire,therearenobranches,andsothecentralthingisnottogotoonesidetoholdontosomethingtopushyouback.Thatistosay,nottotakerefugeintheobject.Notthinkingthatmorethinkingaboutsomethingisgoingtohelpyou,butfindingawaytorestinspaceitself–toawakentotheinfinitespaciousnessofone’sownnature.Wheneveryoufeelyouaregoingoutofbalance,immediatelyrelaxbackintothatspaciousnessandthenyouarepresentjustwhereyouneedtobe.
Tonglenpractice
Wewilldoapracticenowwhichsomeofyouknowasaversionoftonglen.‘Tong’meanstogiveout,and‘len’meanstotakeinortohold.Thisisageneralmahayanapracticeinwhich
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weofferallthegoodthings,allourmerit,wisdom,virtue,andsoontoothers,andwetakeinfromallsentientbeingsallthatisdifficultandproblematicintheirexistence.
Imagineallsentientbeings–frogs,dogs,people,anykindsofbeings–andoutofyourheartimagineraysoflightspreadingoutandtakingallyourmeritandvirtueintothesebeingsandremovingalltheirimpediments.Thenimaginethatfromthesebeingscomealltheirlimitations,problems,confusions,andallthatbindstheminsamsara.Thismeltsintoourheartintheformofcloudsofdarkness,poison,sharpweaponsandsoon.
Fortunatelybeforewedothis,wehavealookatthestateofourheart.Fromtheverybeginningtheheartispure,open,andempty.Ifweimaginetheheartasthecentreofourbeing–thesiteofI,me,myself–thenwhoisthisself?ThereisaverybeautifulsongfromTheSoundofMusicconnectedwiththehillsnotfarfromwherewearehereinAustria.WhenMariaisteachingthechildrenaboutmusicalscales,shesings,‘Me,anameIcallmyself.’Thisispuredharma.WhowouldhavethoughtJulieAndrewswascapableofthat?!Becausewhatis‘me’?Aword.Thewordsitsasakindofstickaroundwhichmanythingscanbegathered.However,beneathit–becauseinthecourseofourliveswehavecalledourselvessomanydifferentthings–thereisnodeep,essential,definedpointofI,me,myself.
Wehavebeenabletobesomanypeoplebecausewehaveneverbeenjustonething;thatistosay,theheartisanopenpotential.It’stheveryemptinessofourpersonalidentitythatallowsustobesocreativeandadaptiveandtobecomewhateverisrequired.
Whenweimagineallthisnegativitycominganddissolvingintous,itisnotcomingintothenarrowpotoftheego;otherwisewewouldrapidlyfeeloverwhelmed.Rather,it’stheinfiniteemptinessoftheminditself.Althoughweexperienceourcentreashereinthemiddleofourbeing,itsnatureisinseparablefromthesky.Aswegathertogetherallthemiseryofallbeingsanditmeltsagainandagainintous,itjustdissolvesoutintonothing.
WesupportourselvesindoingthisbymakingthecontinuoussoundofAa.Aaisthesoundofemptiness,anditrelatestothebasicvowelthatrunsthroughalltheconsonantsintheSanskritandTibetanalphabets.Aaisjustabsolutepotential.AllsoundsarisefromAa,fromsomevariationoftheopen‐throatednoise.WhenwereciteAaitmeanswecandissolveallthebasisofsemanticelaborationwherebywereifytheevanescent,ungraspableformsintothisandthat.BecausethisAaistheunderlyingpotentialofallthings,itdeconstructsthembackintotheopen,emptygroundandsothesemioticwebwhichfixeseachthinginitsownplace,dissolvesintonaturalspaciousness.Thatiswhyeverythingcandissolveintoemptiness.Byrestinginthestateofemptinesseverythingcandissolvewithoutleavinganytraces.
Let’sdothispracticestandingup.Westartatfirstbyofferingthelightouttoallbeings.Youcandoitwithyoureyesopenorclosed.Youjustbringyourhandsoutlikethis[Jamesdemonstrates]andmakethesoundofAa.Itisveryopenandexpansiveandyoufeelthechestmovingwhilecompletelyofferingeverything.Andthen,aftersometime,youcanturnitaroundtopullallthenegativityofallbeingsintoyoucontinuingwiththesoundofAa.Ifyoufindyourselfbecomingagitatedbythissecondstage,thensimplydothepositive
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sharing.Itisimportanttoendonthepositivesharing.Thenjuststandquietlyforashortwhile.
Sostandupandfindenoughspace,soyoudon’thityourneighbourwhilesavingallbeings!
[Tonglenpractice]
TonglenpracticeisusedinalltheschoolsofTibetanBuddhismandisdoneinslightlydifferentways,andisunderstoodindifferentways.
Whywepracticetonglen
Onagenerallevel,wesaytonglenisdonetoreducethesenseofseparationofselfandotherandthatbyputtingotherpeoplefirstweantidoteourtendencytohaveourego‐selvesasthecentreofourconcern.Onadeeperlevelitexpressesthenon‐duality–theinseparability–ofsubjectandobject:thatwedonotexistapartfromtheworld,whichmeansapartfromotherbeings.Thewelfareofothersisourwelfare,becauseotherpeoplearewhatweencounter.
Aroundheretherearedogs,chickens,horses…andhowtheyareaffectsus.Ifweseeahorselimpingwehaveaconcern.Wedon’tusuallyhavetothinkaboutthat,wearejustconcerned.Thatisbecausethehorseisus;itisourexistence.Ourexistenceisnotcontainedinsidethisskinstructure.Ourexistenceisturningaroundthepointofspacebetweenusandbeings.
Themeetingpointbetweenselfandothersisungraspable;wecanneverfindnorcontrolitbutitisalwaysthereandalwaysmoving.Themoreweopentoothers,themoretheywillimpactus,andthemoretheyimpactus,themoreourlifeismovedoffthepathwethoughtitwouldgoon.Wethenfindourselvesinhabitingourexistenceasitpresentsitselfratherthantryingtoprotectwhatwehavealreadyestablishedasourselvesandourconcerns.
Ifweweretrulyafixedentity,tobeaffectedbyotherswouldbeatragedy.Becauseourexistenceisnotathing–itisnotsomethingalreadyfixedbutisaceaselesspotentialthatmovesintomanifestationinaccordancewithcircumstances–thenthemovementsthatwehaveinresponsetoothersbecomemovementswhichhelpustoloosenupmoreandmore,sothattheconstraintsofprediction,definition,blame,hunger,emptinessandsooncanstarttofalloff.Thesequalitiesofdesirehunger,longing,andprediction,whichhavebeengivingusasenseofdefinitionandpurposeinourlifestarttoloosenandfallaway.Themeaningofourlifeisnotthensomethinginsideus,notsomesecretselfthatneedstobeuncovered,butisrevealedtousintheinfinitediversewaysinwhichwemanifest.
Ortoputthatinanotherlanguage,themind’snaturefromtheverybeginninghasbeenopenandempty.Itisnotathingthatcanbemeasuredorquantifiedinanywayandsoonewillneverknowoneself.Youcanbeyourselfbyrelaxingintothestateofopenness,butyoucan’tknowitasathingbecauseitisnotathing.Fromthisopenstate,momentbymoment,ourenergymanifestsaspartoftheworldbecausethegroundofourselfisthegroundoftheworld.
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Thisisnotamad,narcissisticinflation.Wearenotsayingthateverythingissimplyafantasyinourmind,butrathertherelaxedopenstateofawarenessrevealsselfandotherarisingtogether.WhatIcall,I,me,myself,istheenergyofthenaturalcondition.Thatenergywillflowmoreeasilyandconnectivelyinallsituationsif,insteadoftryingtosecureitsterritory,whichaswe’veseenisanimpossibletaskbecauseithasnoterritory,itrecognisesandrelaxesintoitsownground.Westarttosee,that‘Iamemptyenergy’,andtheenergytakestheformofthesituation.
Inregardtothestill,opennature,lessismore.Thereisnothingtobebusyabout.Wedon’thavetotrytoimproveit,tocorrectit,ormakeitfunctionproperly.Itisnaturallyperfect,andtherestisenergy.
Sinceyouwerebornyou’vebeenchangingmomentbymomentandthechangesyoumadewerenotcomingoutofyou.Rememberyourfirstdayatschool.Perhapsyourmotherleftyouatthegateand,likeme,youhadlittletearscomingoutofyoureyes?Butthatiswhatmothershavetodoandlifegoeson.Youfindyourselfatschoolandyoubecomewhoyoubecomethroughthatinteraction.
So,theessentialpointsfromtoday’steachingarereallytoseethemoment‐by‐momentdynamicnatureofwhatwetaketobeourordinaryidentity.Wearenotathingbutaninfiniteresponsivenesswhosemainsupportistorestintheopenstate.Whenweforgetthisopenstatewestillneedsupport,butthenwehavetolooktoobjects,tootherpeople,andtocircumstancestotrytosupportus.Howeverbecausetheyalsoaresimplyformsofenergy,theyhavenofixeddefinitiontohelpusmaintainwhatwearetryingtomaintain.
Theheartofthisis:don’ttrytochangetheunchangingnature.Thatisawasteoftime.Anddon’ttrytostabiliseyourenergybecausethatisawasteoftimetoo.Energyisalwaysmoving.Ourlifeisalwaysmoving.Weareatthemercyofcircumstances.
Sittingintherestaurantatlunchtimetoday,Iwasatasmalltablewherethefoodcamevery,veryslowly.AfterawhileIwaslookingatmywatchand,ofcourse,manythoughtsandfeelingsarosewiththis.It’snotthatIshouldn’thavethesethoughts.It’snot,‘Oh,mymindshouldbesopeaceful.Ishouldn’tbedisturbedbyanything,’butenergyismoving.Thepeopleinthekitchenwereworkinghard.Thewaitresswasonherownandrathertired,sothefoodcomesasitcomes,andthathasconsequences.Thisishowourlifeis:energyismovingwithenergy.Ourfate,ourcapacitytodirectthings,isalwaysatthemercyofothers.
Nowweareatthemercyoftheendoftheday!Forthosewholike,tomorrowmorningatnineo’clockwewillhavesomequietsittingforforty‐fiveminutes,andthenwestartthemainprogrammeatteno’clock.
Seeyoutomorrow,ornot?Whoknows?
DayTwo:
Purefromtheverybeginning:kadag
Hereweare–anotherday–stillalive!Thefocusfortodayisonthistopicofkadag,whichisaTibetanwordmeaningpurefromtheverybeginning.Thisreferstoourownnatureandto
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thenatureofallthings.Wecanapproachthisfromvariouspointsofviewincludingdifferentmeditations.
Seeinghowlostandconfusedwecanbecome,acentralquestionforusisabouttherelationbetweenourpotentialandourobscuration?Sometimesweseemtobemainlyobscuration.Wemayfindlittleroomformaneuverandfeelasifwearetheobscuration.Thatsortofexperiencecanmakethethoughtofanyformofclarityseemsimplytantalising,becauseifIamsomessedupandconfusedhowcouldIgofromheretothere?
Inthegeneralbuddhisttradition,therearemanymethodsofpurificationbasedontheprinciplethatunlesswegetridofthisobscurationwewon’tbeabletoseeclearly.Thatisdescribedasaview,aviewbeingwhatarisesfromaparticularviewpoint:ifIamcaughtupinalotofmentalturbulenceandemotionalimpulsivity,thenthearisingsthatIidentifywithstandbetweenmeandthepossibilityofopenness,sotheyhavetoberemoved.Thatseemsfairlystraightforward.
Youmaywanttoeatbutyou’vebeenabitlazyandalltheplatesaredirty,soifyouwantacleanplateyouhavetocleanthedirtoff.Whenthedirtisoffyouwillhaveacleanplate,butifyoudon’ttakethedirtoffyouwillhaveadirtyplate.Itisobviousthatadirtyplateandacleanplatearenotthesamething.Youputyourfoodontheplateandyouthink,‘Oh,thisisdirty,’howeverbecauseofsomeactionofthehandandsomewater,thedirtcancomeofftheplate.
Thenatureofthisplateisalwayscleannomatterhowmuchdirtthereisonit.Iftheplatewerereallydirty,forexample,ifitwasapaperplateandyouputsomethingwithalotofoilonitandtheoilsoakedintothepaper,thenitwouldbeimpossibletoclean.Soalthoughweareconcernedwiththedirtontheplate,thepossibilityoftheplatebeingcleanispresentevenwhenitiscoveredindirt.
Therearetwothingshappeningatthesametime:thenaturalpurityorcleanlinessoftheplate,andthecontingentoradventitiousdirtthathascomeontoit.Thedirtwasnotalwaysthere.Itaroseduetocausesandconditionsandbecauseofthat,becauseitcameintoexistence,itcanalsopassoutofexistence.
WhentheBuddhagavehisfirstteachinghesaidthereissuffering:thereisacauseofsuffering;thereisthewayoutofsuffering,andthereisamethod,whichistheeightfoldnoblepath.Theeightfoldnoblepathiseightdifferentkindsofdetergentwithwhichyoucanwashyourplate.
Whatisimportantinthatwilldependinmanywaysonourowncharacter.Sometimesweresonatewiththeideaofthedirt,theobscuration,andtheconfusion,andwemightbecomeveryinterestedinhowthemindgetstiedinknots.Thatfascinationcantakeuscloserandclosertothedirtasadefinitionofourselves.ThenwhenwehearaboutthegoodqualitiesoftheBuddha,theBuddhaseemsfurtherandfurtherawayfromus.
Howeverwecanalsobeinterestedintheideaofthepath;ofthethingsthatwecandotocreatethepurity.Wecanlearnallkindsofmethodsandprepareforaverylongjourney.Or,wecanlistentothefactthatbasicallytheplateisclean:thereasonthatsufferingcanendisbecauseitisnottherealnature.
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Inthetraditionofdzogchenweareconcernedwithprimordialpurity–thenaturalpuritythatistherefromtheverybeginning.Ofcourse,foodcomesandgoesonplates;theplateisempty,theplatehassomethingonit,thentheplatehasthedriedupremainsofthemeal…Thisislikeourmind.Somethingarisesandwebecomecaughtupinit.Itstartstomoveawaybutweareleftwithsomekindoftrace,andthenthetraceisgone.Butifwebecomecaughtupinthetraceandthenlookforthenextthought,feeling,orsensationthatcomes,thenweneverseetheplateitself.
Formostofusourmindislikeaverybusyrestaurant;thereisalwayssomethingonourplate.Assoonasyouwakeupinthemorning–plop!Youspendthewholedayeatingandcleaningthenyoufallasleeptiredandwakeupthenextmorning–plop!Wedon’tactuallyexperiencetheplateitself.Wemayimagine,‘Oh,ifonlymymindwasclearfromthoughts.IfonlyIdidn’thaveallthisagitationthenIwouldbeabletoseewhatitis.’
Anemptyscreen,amirrorandapainting
Ifyougotothecinematheyhaveabigwhitescreenandthemovieisprojectedontothatscreen.Whilethemovieisrunningyoudon’tseethewhitescreen.Whenthemoviefinishesyoucanseethescreenbutyoudon’thaveamovie.Youwouldn’tpaymoneyandgooutonaFridaynighttositandlookatawhitescreen!Inthesameway,althoughthemindisemptyitisalsoalwaysfull.Youcoulddevelopafantasythatyoucouldturnoffthemovie.Youcouldmakeeverythingstopandthenyouwouldjusthavethiswhitescreen,butthishappensveryrarely.
However,inthecinema,whenthefilmisrunning,thefilmthatweseeandwebecomesoinvolvedin,isinseparablefromthewhitescreen.Withoutthewhitescreenwewouldn’thavethefilm.Ifweunderstandthat,withoutswitchingoffthefilm,wecanknowthatthewhitescreenisthere.Thewhitescreenisthebasisforthemanifestingofthepotentialofthefilm.Ifthisbackgroundwasn’tclear,forexampleifafilmwasalreadybeingprojectedontoabigtelevisionscreenthatwasshowingsomethingelse,theimagewouldn’tbeclear.
Whatweseeinourmindsmomentbymomentisthatnewsituationsariseandthesesituationscanonlyrevealthemselvesbecauseoftheopenpotentialofthesiteofthemanifesting.Thatpotentialisourownnature.Thetraditionalexampleforthisisamirror.Themirrorshowsreflectionsandwhateverisheldinfrontofit,itwillgiveareflectionof;thebasisforthiscapacityisthatthemirrorisitselfdevoidofanycontent.
Ifyoulookatapainting,andtherearemanyaroundhere,youwon’tseeyourownreflectionbecausepaintingsdon’treflect.Thepaintingisfullofthepainting.Butbecausethemirrorhasnocontentitshowswhatisinfrontofit.Themirrorisalwayspure,oruncontaminated,oropen;itdoesn’tcarrythetraceofapreviousreflection.
Weoftendon’texperienceourmindsinthisway.Whenwedon’thaveadirectexperienceofthisopenqualityofthemirror,wetrytomakesenseofwhatisgoingonandareverybusywithallthethoughtsthatwehave.Weaskourthoughts,feelings,andsensationstoexplainthemeaningofourlife.Weaskquestionslike:‘Whydidthishappentome?’‘Whycan’tIdothat?’‘Whyisthissortofthingsodifficultforme?’Wethinklikethisaboutourpastexperiencesandourpresentsituationandthenwethinkabouthowwecouldtrytomakeitdifferentinthefuture.Thisrequiresalotofactivity.
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Establishingemptinessthroughdirectexperience
Returningtotheexampleofthemirror,thismeansthatwelookforthemeaningofourexistenceintermsofthepatternofthereflection.Butreflectionsareveryunreliable.Thedzogchenviewistodirectlyexperiencethestateofthemirror.Youcanexperienceitthroughrelaxation,andthen,withtheconfidencethataccompaniesthat,youcanexperienceitthroughthenatureofmanifestation.
Forexample,inthestoryofPrinceSiddharthawhobecametheBuddhaofourtime,hegrewupasaveryprotectedyoungmaninasmallpalaceofasmallNorthIndianstate.Whenhewentoutsidethepalacehesawasickperson,anoldperson,andacorpse.Hecametoreflectthatalthoughhisownlifewasveryeasy,protected,andsurroundedbyonlybeautifulhealthypeople;itwasn’tthewholestory,andoldageanddeathwouldcometohim.
Onenightatapartyhesawpeopleinthepalacebeingdrunk,fallingasleep,andlyingaroundinstatesofdisarray.Theideaofagoodtimedoesn’tchangemuchintwothousandfivehundredyears!Hethought,‘Whatisthis?Theydon’tlooksoprettynow’,sohedecidedtoleavethepalace.Forsixyearshepractisedwithyogisandmeditatorslearningandapplyingmanydifferentkindsofmeditationtechniquesandasceticritualsbut,afterapoint,herealiseditwasn’tgettinghimanywhere.
Hestoppeddoingthesepracticesandsittingunderatree,hestoppeddoinganything.Hesaid,‘I’lljustsithere’.Inthatstate,bynotdevelopingnewideasabouthowhecouldgofromheretothere,bynotbeingdistractedintofurtherthoughtconstructionsoremotionalresponses,accordingtothetraditionvariouskindsofdemonsbothfrighteninganderoticcametodisturbhimandwithouttryingtoblockthemheallowedthemtobeastheyare.
IntraditionalTibetanpaintingssomeofthedemonsarethrowingspearsandfiringarrows,andasthesegetclosetotheBuddhatheyturnintoflowers.Thissymbolisesthatwhenweareinmeditationandfindourselvespersecutedbydifficultthoughtsandfeelings,bynottryingtopushtheseawayordefendingourselvesagainstthem,theyrevealthemselvesasnotasdangerousastheyappeared.Thatistosay,itistheresistance,thesenseof‘Thisisintolerable’,or‘Ican’tbearthis’,or‘Thisisverydangerous’thatcreatesmostoftheproblems.Inthatway,theBuddharecognisedthathisminditselfwasseparatefromeverythingthatwasarising,andyetalsoinseparablefromallthatwasarising.
Justaswithamirror:thereflectionisinthemirror–it’sintimatelypartofthemirrorwhenwelookatit–andyetthemirrorisnotconditionedbythereflection.Mostofthetimewedon’texperienceourselvestobelikethis.Wefeelmorelikealumpofclay,andthatwhatevertouchesusleavesamarkandshapesussowebecomeconditionedbyourenvironment.Someconditionsweexperienceaspleasantandsomewetaketobeunpleasant,sowewantmoreofthepleasantandlessoftheunpleasant.
Howeverwearenotinchargeofthesupplychainandsowehavetoreactallthetimetodifferentsituations.Fromthepointofviewofdzogchen,itisimportanttostaywithourownexperience.Wecanthink,‘OK,Ifeelmyselftobeconditionedbyevents.Ihaveahopeoraplanandwhentheplanisnotfulfilled,orwhenthesituationdoesn’tmanifestthewayIwantitto,Ifeelfrustrated,andfromthatsadnessandangercanarise.’Whatisthenatureofthis
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thought?Whatisthebasisformebelievingthatmyownthoughtisanaccurateguidetowhatisactuallyhappening?
Forexample,wehaveahopetoeatoutsideinthegardenthisevening,sowehavetokeepcheckingthesky!Weheardifferentweatherreports.Inthatway,assoonaswehaveanideaoranimaginationwearehostagetofortune.Clearly,thereisnothingwrongwiththeideaofsittingoutsidetogetherinthelovelyeveninglightdrinkingwineandeatingtogether.Butwedon’tpersonallyhavethepowertoensurethattheideacanlandonthisearth,andsotheconflictbetweenwhatwecanimagineandwhatactuallymanifestsgivesrisetogrief.
Ourhabitualconditioninggivesusparticularshapingssothatweviewtheworldaccordingtoourownprivateagenda.Insideourprivateworld,wedevelopunderstandingsofhowthingsareandwetakethattobeanaccuratedescriptionoftheworldoutside.
Thatisthebasicstructureofwhatiscalledaneurosis:somethingisarisinginourselvesanditseemstotellusabouthowthingsare.Somebodywhodevelopsaconditionlikeagoraphobiahasagreatanxietyaboutleavingtheirhouse.Thisanxietyfeelslikeanaccuratepredictorthatiftheygooutoftheirhousesomethingterriblewillhappentothem.Apartofthemmightevenknowthatthisfeelingisridiculous,andyetinthemomentofgoingtowardsthedoortheanxietyarisesanditfeelsimpossible.
Inthatway,wecaneasilyidentifywithastatethatseemstotellthetruthbut,infact,isquitedeludedandmisrepresentsthepotentialofthesituation.Iamsureweallknowthisinourselves:wehavebelievedthingsthatarenottrue,andwethoughtthatifwebelievedthemstronglyenoughthentheywouldbecometrue.Buttheintensityofthebeliefdoesn’tmakeitthecase.
Canwetrustourselves?
Partofawakening,whetheritisinpsychotherapyorinbuddhism,istorecognisethatwecan’ttrustourselves.Thethoughtsthatariseinsideus–thoughtsthatseemtotellthetruth–areoftenquitedeceptive.Thisisquitescary.WhatwillItrustifIcan’ttrustmythoughts?
Childrenaresenttoschoolyear,afteryear,afteryear.Theylearnreading,writing,arithmetic,historyandgeography,butwhattheyarenevertaughtisthattheyarequitemad!Theschoolsyllabusisbasedonrationalprinciples.Ifyoulearnthisthenyouwillgetthroughyourexam,soyoulearntowriteanessayandorganiseyourthoughtsinacoherentpattern.Essentially,whatthisdoesistocreateapersona;afalseself,inwhichwefeelinchargeoftheworldandthatweknowwhatwearedoing.Twoandtwoequalsfour.Ireallyexist.TonightIamgoingtoeatpizzainthegarden!…Thiskindofthinkingalllinkstogether.
Actually,reallifeisexperiencedmoreintheplayground,whereyouencounterthebullies,whereyoufindoutthatyourbestfriendisn’tyourbestfriendanymore,whereyouarenotallowedtoplayfootball,oryounevergettousetheskipping‐rope.Thatistosay,youencounterthediscrepancybetweenyourdesireandwhatyouget.However,whatweteachchildrenisthattheyjusthavetolearntosurvivethat;thatwhattheyneedissomeegostrengthtohelpthembecomeresilientandrobust.
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That’showwemissagreatopportunitytorecognisehowmadeverythingis;thattheconstructsthatwedevelop,andwhatactuallyarises,aresooftennotincontact.Infact,ifweattendedmoretotheactualityofsituations,andlesstothedevelopmentofrefinedconcepts,ourlivesmightmoveinabetterfashion.
Conditioningandidentification
Conditioningisnotthatsomebadpersonisdoingsomethingterribletoyou.Fromabuddhistpointofview,conditioningisalsoanaspectoftheEuropeanenlightenmentproject.Webelievetherearehumanrightsandthatthereshouldbeequalitybetweenwomenandmenandsoon,butthisisalsoakindofcondition;thisisasetofculturalconcepts.Wecometobelievethatitistrue,andnowwithgreatgenerosityandkindnessweareextendingthistothepeopleofAfghanistan.WehaveRousseaubombsandVoltairemachinegunstoshowthemthesuperiorityofourintellectualunderstanding!ThisisenormouslyimportanttounderstandbecauseinEuropeandinAmericapeoplearesoconvincedtherational,democratic,humanisticfocusistherealtruth.
Asafirststepincomingtounderstandthedzogchennatureofthemind,it’simportanttolookattheculturalconceptsthatweareidentifiedwith.Becausetheyaresofamiliartousandwehavebeensoeducatedinthem,wetakethemtobetrueandself‐existingbutofcoursetheyhavearisenhistoricallyduetocausesandcircumstances,andtheyalsoariseonthebasisofpropositions.
Forexample,inAmericatherewasacivilwar,andterribleslaughteroccurred.Attheendofthecivilwartherewasabigbannersaying‘Justicehasprevailed’.InBritainwereferto‘ourgloriousdead’.BritainisfightinginAfghanistanandeveryweeksomesoldierscomebackdead.‘Ourbravesoldiers.Theydiedforfreedomanddemocracy’,wesay.
Isaythisnotasociologycritiquebuttohelpuslookathowwebelieveallthesestoriesthatarenottrue.Ifwecanseeexternallyandinterpersonallyhoweasilywefallintoillusion,thenthatprovidesabasisforstartingtoseeinourmeditationhoweasilywearecaughtbyillusions.Wesaythemindispurefromtheverybeginning.Thatmeansourawarenessisopen–notrestingonanything–andyetwefindourselvesidentifyingwiththethoughtsthatarise.
Itisthatqualityofidentificationwhichcreatestheseemingtruthandvalidityofthethingswebelievein.Clearly,whenwelookaroundintheworldtherearemanydifferentcultures.Somepeopleputtattoosontheirbody;othersputlittlesilverringsthroughtheirgenitals.Peoplefindallsortsofwaysofsaying,‘HereIam!Thisisme!’Wecouldthenthink,‘Oh,weareallhuman.WhyshouldIbelievethatmywayisanybetterthantheirs?’
Traditionally,thisiswhatiscalled‘theunderstandingofrelativeorconventionaltruth’.Allthethingsthatwebelieveinaresocialconventions.Eventhesideoftheroadthatyoudriveonisaconvention.
Thisisthebuddhistteachingofdependentco‐origination:everythingarisesinamatrixofcausesandconditions.Nomanifestationisstronglyreal.Thebeliefsthatwehavearevalidasbeliefs,buttheydon’ttellusthetruthaboutanythingexceptthefactthatwebelievethem.
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Thinkonthekindsofconflictyouhaveinyourlife,orthethingsthatannoyyou.Isuggestthattheyareoftenbasedonbeliefs.Althoughwemayfindithardtobelievethatotherpeoplecanbelievewhattheybelieve,thatdoesn’tmakeusquestionourownbelief.Ourbeliefsgiveuscontroloveracircledrawnaroundourfeet;itdoesn’texpandanyfurtherthanthat.Otherpeoplehavedifferentbeliefs,conditioning,andpatterns.
Moreover,wearealsounreliable,becausewedon’thaveafixedsetofbeliefsbutratherwehaveawiderepertoireofthem.Thesebeliefsarepulledoutoftherepertoireandmanifestaccordingtosituations.Sometimesthatfeelslikeaproactive,intentionalthing,andsometimesit’sjustconstellatedbythestateoftheother.
Forinstance,someonemightmakesomeremarkaboutpoliticsandyousuddenlythink,‘Oh,thatcan’tberight’.Youmighthavehadnoconsciousawarenessthatyoubelievedwhatyounowsuddenlyknowyoubelieve;ithasbeenbroughtintomomentarymanifestationbytheparticularshapingoftheconversation.Thepointofthisistoseethatintermsofouregoselfalthoughweoftenfeelwehaveapanoramicclarityandunderstandthingsveryclearly,actually,allweeverhaveistheviewfromhere,and‘here’ischangingmomentbymoment.
Whatwearelookingatisalsochangingmomentbymoment.Aswediscussedyesterday,thisisthequalityofenergy,manifestingforusastemporaryconstellationsandtemporarypatternswhichinthemomentoftheirmanifestingappeartobethetruth.
Wemayfeeltiredandsay,‘Iamtired’.Ifyoureallyidentifywiththatfeelingasyousayit,itseemstodefinewhoyouare.Itistrue,butit’slikeareflectioninthemirror;ithasnoinherentstatus.Wearetiredduetocausesandconditions.Ifwegetsomerestthenwewillceasetobetired.Partofthepracticeistostartlisteningtoourselvesaswespeakandtobesuspiciousoftheintensityandcommitmentthatwebringtoourstatements,becauseallwecansayis‘Thisiswhatishappeningformenow’.Wedon’tknowifthiswillbethecaseafewminuteslater.
Whenwestarttoobserveourselvesinamorephenomenologicalmanner,notrestingonassumptionbutjustobservinghowwecomeintobeing,wefindit’smoreandmoredifficulttomakedefinitestatementsbecauseourexistenceisacomplexsystem.Foranysystemtostayaliveithastohavecommunicationoutsideitself,andtheporousmembranearoundourselveshastobequiteopeninordertoallowtheworldinandourselvesout.
Ourlivedexperiencemomentbymomentisalsoimpermanence
Thekeypointtoextractfromourdiscussionisfirstlyimpermanence,oneofthemostbasicteachingsinBuddhismandwhichyoufindinalltheschools.Impermanencedescribesnotonlythegeneralfeatureslikechangesintheseasons,changesinageandsoon,butitdescribesverypreciselyourlivedexperiencemomentbymoment.
Wehaveexaminedtheco‐emergenceoftwodomains:theimmediacyoftheever‐changingmatrixthatwearepartof;andtheheuristicinterpretivenarrativethatweavesacrossit.Yesterday,aftervipassanameditationpeoplereportedexamplesofdirectexperiences.Momentswhichwerejustthereandthengonebutwhichcanbeorganisedintoforexample,‘apaininmyshoulder’.Youmighttellsomeoneaboutthepaininyourshoulder.
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Laterontheymightask,‘Howisyourpain?’andyoureply,‘Ohyes,it’sstillthere,’butyouhadn’tbeenawareofitforanhourmaybe.
Theconceptitselfseemstohavetakenonanindependentvalidity.Thecontinuityofouregoidentityisbasedonpatterningsofsuchabstractconcepts.Theyarenotfalse:theyhavebeenabstractedfromaparticularsituation,butthentheytakeonalifeoftheirown.Forexample,farmersgrowgraininthefields.Whenthegrainisgrowingitisdirectlylinkedtothesoil.Atharvesttimetheycutthegrainandthreshtheheadsofgrainfromthestalk.Thegrainistakentothestoreandthenitgoestothebakerwhowouldmillitdownandthenstarttobake.
Oncetheharvestistakenin,thegrainhasalifeofitsown.Whenthegrainwasgrowingitwasstuckinthefieldanditcouldn’tmovebutonceyoucutitfromitsrootyoude‐contextualiseit.Ittravelseverywhereandendsupasbreadinthebakery.Wheredoesbreadcomefrom?Thebaker’sshop.Formanychildreninthecitythatistheabsolutetruth;theydon’tknowaboutthefield.Thatisapracticalexampleofthenatureofanabstraction.
Thereisnothingwronginanyofthesestages,butifwelosethememoryofthefirststageofthingsgrowingfromtheground,thentheyseemtomovearoundandtakeonalifeoftheirown.Indzogchen,thegroundorthesource,whichistheunbornnatureofthemindisveryimportant.Allthoughts,feelings,andsensationsarisefromthesameground,aswewillsee.
However,whenwedon’trecognisethat,thenwordsandconceptsseemtobeexistinginthemselvesandwerelyonthemtomakesenseofourworld.Thismeansthatweareconditioningtheenvironmentbyouruseoftheseabstractionsandwe,inturn,arebeingconditionedbyallthemessagescomingtousfromtheenvironment.
Wewilltakeabreaknowandcomebackanddosomemeditation,whichwillhopefullyilluminatethis.
[Break]
SoundingThreeAas
Thisisapracticeofrelaxingintothenaturalstate.Manymeditationpracticesaimtoconstructsomething.Howeverthispracticeisaboutrelaxingtheenergetictendencytobeactiveandtorelaxintoastateofopenawarenesswhich,likethemirror,offershospitalitytowhateverispresented,butisnotactivelyseekinganythinginparticular,norisfearfulofanythinginparticular.
Intermsofourearlieranalogyoftheplatewithalltheconditioningontop–alltheold,dried‐upfood–inthispracticewerelaxthroughtheconditioningdowntotheplateitself.Itdoesn’tmatterhowmuchrubbishisontheplatenorwhatthoughtsandfeelingsyouhave;thekeythingistoknowthedifferencebetweenthemirrorandthereflection.
Althoughthoughtsoftenconveytheimpressionthattheyarepermanentandrefertothingsthatarepermanent,lookforyourselfandseeifthisisactuallytrue.Themoreweseehowallphenomenaarearisingandpassing,thentheimmediacyofpresentationandthe
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immediacyofself‐liberationstarttocometogether,andfromthisthequalityofthemirrorispresenteveninthemidstofmultiplereflections.
Wesimplysitinarelaxed,erectplace.Thechinisslightlyraised,andtheeyesareopenrestinginthespaceaboutanarm‐and‐a‐half’slengthinfront.Weareawareofwhatisintheroombutwearenotlookingatitintermsofthespecificitem.Together,wemakethesoundAathreetimes.Aaisthesoundofemptinessandthemothersoundofallphenomena.Assuch,allthemanifestations,allthevariousprocessesthatgiverisetoourexperienceofthisroombeinglikethisorthatorourselvesbeinglikethisorthat,canjustdissolvebackintotheopenspaciousness.
Therearedifferentpermutationsofthismethod,butnowwewilldoitinitssimplestform.AswesayAa,thereisjustthisfeelingofreleasingintospaceanyidentificationwiththebody,withthepath,andwiththoughts;andthenwerestintegratedinthespaceinfrontofus.Whatevercomes,wejustletitcome;whatevergoes,justletitgo,andremainrelaxed.
Ifyoufindyourselfgettingcaughtupinthoughts,justbringyourattentionbrieflytoalongexhalationandrelaxbackintothespace.
[ThreeAapractice]
Ifyouarepractisingthisonyourownthereisnoclearlydefinedendtothemeditation,thereisjustincreasinglycomplexphenomenatokeepintegrating.Bystayingwiththemomentaryflowofexperienceandexperiencingthatabstractconceptsastheymanifestarepartofthemomentaryflow,alltheouterformsoflifecancontinuejustasbefore.Whatwecall‘subject’andwhatwecall‘object’areincreasinglyallowedtoarisetogether,andsoweapproachourexperiencenotbythinkingaboutit,butbybeingwithit.
Beingabsentandbeingpresent
Clearly,inordinarylifethereisatendencytogetlostinhabitualprojections,sotheadviceoftenistotakesometimeandtothinkaboutitandthengobacktothesituation.That’snotabadsolution;itisjustabitslowanditdoesrelyononeabstractingoneselffromthesituation.
However,indzogchen,whatwewanttodoistofinddirectlyhowwearenotthere–togettoknowhowwecheatourselvesandcheatothersbybeingabsentinsomeway.Whenwearefullypresentinthemomentwiththeother,withoutapre‐formedagendaandinarelaxedstate,thenwhateverneedstoarisecancomethroughus.
Restinginthisstateofnon‐dualityandfeelingfullyincontactwiththesituation,wetrustthatwhateverisrequiredwillarisebecauseinthisview,selfandother,selfandenvironment,arenottwoseparatethings.IamnothavingtositinmyseparateegobubblethinkingaboutwhatIwillsaytoyou.Byactuallyfeelingtheenergeticconnectionwithotherpeople,thewordsariseinaco‐emergenceinthecentreofthefieldandIfindmyselfspeaking.
Ifyouaresittinginacaféwithafriendhavinganinterestingconversation,youdon’thavetothinkaboutwhatyouwillsay.Youfindyourselfspeakingandresponding.Theconversation
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isco‐createdbybothpartiesactualpresencetogether.Whatisitthatmakesthatqualityofconversationnotpossibleinothersituations?
Responsivityandrelationship
Traditionallyitcanbeexplainedintermsofchakras,whicharecentresofcommunication;theycommunicatebetweeneachotherandalsooutintotheworld.Insomewaystheyaresimilartothemoremodernconceptofmultipleintelligence.Nowadayswedon’tjusthaveacognitiveintelligence,wecanhaveanemotionalintelligence,akinestheticintelligenceandsoon.Ifwearegroundedinourselveswefeelthingsinourbellyaboutwhowemeet.Wefeelthingsinourgenitals,ourthroats,andourheads,andveryoftenwedon’tlistentowhatthesedifferentcentresaresaying.Inchildhoodweoftenlearntooverridethisfieldexperienceinthenameoftobeinga‘goodperson’,orofpleasingotherpeople.
WhenwecomeoutoftheThreeAapracticeandrelaxourfocusinthespace,wecomemoreincontactwiththewiderenvironment.Wearecalledintoaresponsivity;theworldwilltelluswhatweneedtodo.Partoftheworldisyourbody,andyourbodymightsayitistimetomove,timeforapee,timeforacupoftea…Youregointellectdoesn’ttellyouthatyouaregoingtohaveacupoftea,butthebodytellsyou.Sensationarises;weareawareofthesensation;wemobilise;wemovetoactivityandcontactinthefamiliargestaltcycle.Theworldasoutsideandtheworldasinsidecreateamovement,whichisrevealedtoawareness.Awarenessisnotinside,it’snotoutside;youcannotlocateit.
Whenwesaythemindispurefromtheverybeginningitmeansitisemptyinnature,likethesky.Thecloudsthatfilltheskywilldisperse,andtheskywillberevealedwithouttheclouds.Theskyhasnotbeenchangedinitselfbythepresenceoftheclouds.Theskyisnotspoiledbyclouds,andit’snotimprovedbytheabsenceofclouds.We,withouregoconcerns,mightthinkwewantthesunshineandnottherain,buttheskyitself,whenitoffershospitalitytotheclouds,isnotcontorted,notconditioned,noralteredinanyway.Thisimageoranalogyisveryimportant.
WhenwesitanddotheThreeAapracticevariousformsarise;sometimestheyseemlikedarkclouds,sometimeslightandradiant.Oneisnotbetterthantheother.Ifyoufeelverytired,ifyoufeeldepressed,ifyoufeelbored,ifyoufeelstupidandfeelyoucan’tmeditate,thesestatesarenotworsethanfeelinghappy,light,andfullofconfidence.Allthesestatesarearisingandpassing.
Whenahappymomentarisesyoufeelradiant,andyouthink,‘Oh,nowIamgettingsomewhere’,butthatwillnotlastsoit’snotsoimportant.Whenyoufeeldullandstupidthatwon’tlasteither.Byremainingrelaxedandofferinghospitality,maintainastateofequanimity,ofindifference.Thisnaturalstaterequiresnothingfromanyofthesearisings.
Whorequiressomethingfromthesearisings?‘I,me,myself’.‘I’wanttohaveahappymind.‘I’wanttobeagoodboy.Whoistheonewhoiswantingthis?Whatisthestatusoftheself?Whenathoughtariseslike‘Iambored’,whoistheonewhoishavingthisthought?Ifyoufallintothethought,thethoughtseemstobeself‐proving.‘Whoisbored?’‘Iambored.’‘WhoamI?’‘Theonewhoisbored.‘Inthatwayyougoround,andround,andround.
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Thisnotionofanindividualsubjectivityislikemistletoe,whichhasasymbioticrelationshipwiththetreeitgrowsfrom.The‘I’relatestowhateveriscoming.‘I’willsayanythingaboutitself:Iamhappy,Iamsad,IamgoingtoLondon,Iamgoingtohavelunch.‘I’cansayanythingatallaboutitself,andthereasonitcansaythisisbecauseitdoesn’texistassomething.Thisisreallythecentralpoint.
‘I,me,myself’islikethedoppelgängerofthemirror
Whenwesaythemindislikeamirrorandthatit’stheemptinessofthemirrorthatallowseverythingtoberevealed,‘I,me,myself’islikethedoppelgängerofthemirror.It’slikethemirror’spublicrelationsdepartment!Insteadofjustbeingrelaxedandbeingfullypresentmomentbymomentitfeelstheneedtoissueapressrelease:thisistoannounceIamhappy!Andsoalldaylongtheselittlestatementsarebeingissued.Whoistheonewhoisissuingthestatements?Thisemptynatureoftheminditself.
The‘I’islikethemaskofJanus:onesidesmiling,onesidesad.Onesidelookstoopennessinitselfsoitissmilingallthetime,andtheothersidelookssadbecauseitisconstantlytryingtobethebossofwhatisoccurring.Thoughts,feelings,sensationsarise,andtheyare‘me’andtheyare‘notme’.Theyare‘me’becauseIexperiencethem,buttheyare‘notme’becausetheegoisnotthesourceofthem,andassoonasIbecomeawareofthemtheyarealreadyvanishing.Seeingtheemptinessof‘I’,integrate‘I’intothestateofthemirror.‘
OK,wewilldotheThreeAapracticeagain.
[ThreeAapractice]
Natureofmindisfreshandnaked
Thatisapracticeyoucandoagainandagain.Itisbestnottodoitforverylongatfirstbecausethekeypointsarenotstrainingtoachievesomethingandallowingyourselftoseethecomingandgoingofeverythingwhicharisesandpasses.
Thenatureofthemindisdescribedasbeingfresh.Althoughinthetraditiontheysaywehavebeenbornmany,manythousandsoflifetimes,theminditselfnevergetstired;itisalwaysfresh.Freshmeansit’smadeexactly,asitwere,inthismomentsinceitisnotexistinginthechainofpast,present,andfuture.Everytimeyouenterintothatstateitisjustthere–open.Itisnotbuiltonanything;itisnotdependentonanaccumulationofknowledgeandexperiencenorisitboundintotime.
Thenatureofmindisalsodescribedasbeingnaked.Inmanyofthepaintingsyouseedeitiesinastateofnakednessandthisrepresents‘notrequiringanyclothing’.Theegoalwaysneedsclothesbecausetheegohasnoself‐substanceandsoitisalwayspretendingthatitsclothesareitself.Wesay,‘Iamtired.’‘Iamcold.’‘Iamhungry.’‘Iamhappy.’Eachofthesestatementsislikeagarmentthattheegowrapsarounditself.Ifwetaketheclothesoffwearejustleftwith,‘Iam.’“Yes,butwhatareyou”“Iam.”“Oh.”Assoonasyoustarttosaysomethingyouareintoclothes;youareintoaproposition,aphilosophicalview,andsoon.
Goodthoughtsdonotimproveit;badthoughtsdonotdamageitWhenwesaythisnatureisnaked,thisreferstotheexperiencethatwhenthesemanifestations,evanescences,thoughts,andfeelingsarise,wedon’tneedtograbonto
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themasiftheyaregoingtogiveussomethingweneed.Noneofthesethoughtswillimproveus.Ofcourse,fromtheleveloftheego,itisverynicetolearnlittlestoriesandtheseimproveoursocialvalue.Beingintheworldwithothersisaqualityofmanifestationandthereforeknowledge,information,skills,alloftheseaccumulationsareuseful,buttheydon’timproveorharmthenaturalstate.
Thisisoneoftheshiftsthatmakesthemeditationdifficult.Wearesousedtoconstructingourselvesoutofthoughts,thatwhenagoodthoughtgoesbyduringthemeditationit’sverydifficultnottograbitbecausewefeelaneedtohaveit.Theonewhofeelsaneedforthethoughtisnotthenatureitself;itisanotherthought,thethoughtof‘I,me,myself’.Butthis‘I,me,myself’,doesn’twanttobeathought,itwantstobetheowner,themaster,thesourceofthoughts:‘Iamthethinkerofthoughts’.Thatitselfisathought,sothethoughtisalwaysinthisfalseconsciousness;thisbadfaithrelationshipwithitself.
Becomingnakedinthemeditationisjusttotrustrelaxingagainandagain,totrustythatawarenessitselfissufficient.Weshouldallowwhateverisarisingtobelikeawaterfall.Whenyoulookatawaterfallthewaterisplungingoveranditsomehowseemstohavepatterns,butithasnorealpatternasitmovesaround.
Threeaspects:open,immediateandparticipatingTherearethreeaspectsofmind.Oneistheopenspaciousaspect,thesecondaspectistheimmediacyofthingsjustinthismoment,andthethirdaspectisourparticipationintheflow.
Fromthefirstaspect–theopenspaciousness–howthingsarearisinginthemindisirrelevant.Thisistheheartofthepractice:nottryingtoimproveourmind,notbeingupsetiflongpatchesofdisturbedthinkingordepressionarise,butjustremainingrelaxedandopen.
Thesecondaspectistobecompletelypresentwiththepanoramicnatureoftheimmediacyofwhatarrives.Thatistosay,nottobeconcernedwithfigure‐groundcontrast.Byselectingaparticularfocusforattentionthisputstherestintothebackground,soinsteadgiveequalvaluetoeverythingonthebasisthatitisalljustreflection,amanifestationwhichisimmediatelypresentinthismoment.InTibetanthisiscalledlhundrup,whichmeansnotlookingathistoricalchainsofconstructionbutexperiencingthegivenness,momentbymoment.
Thethirdaspectistheparticipationinwhichweexperienceourselvesbeingintheworldwithothers.Itisjustthismoment,likeinthemannerofadream.Theparticipationarisesbutitisinseparablefromthesecondlevelofthereflection,andthereflectionisinseparablefromthemirror.Sotheopenground,theimmediacy,andtheparticipationareintegratedtogether.
BeingpresentinthemomentWedomeditationandthenwearetalkingtopeople;inthatstatewetrytoholdthewholefieldatthesametime.Ifsomeonespeakstouswerespond,butbybeingpresentinthemomentyoucanexperiencethearisingandthenthepassingofthis,andthenthereissomethingelse,andsomethingelse…Noneofthesemomentsarestronglyreal.Noneof
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thesemomentsdefinewhoyouare.Ifyouaredoingsomethinganditgoesbadly,thenyoumayrecognisewhatyoucandotomakeadifference,butblaming,shaming,objectification,andreificationarecompletelyunhelpful,neverthelessbeingthemselvesonlymomentsofarising.
Thisisthecentralpointintheviewofnon‐duality:nothingiscomingfromanywhereelse.Thereisnodevilpumpingbadthoughtsintoyourhead.Everythingwhicharisesisemptybynature,evenshamingandblaming.Ifyouseetheirgroundasemptythiscanbeaskilfulmeansofrelatingincertainmoments.Nothingispoisonous,butthingscanbecomequitepoisonousiftheybecomeapositioningwhichisimposedonasituationwithoutregardtoitsactualdynamicnature.
Wearegoingtotakeabreaknowandduringthebreakjustobserveyourselfwalking,talking,stretching,andeating.Don’tobserveyourselfasapolicemanwould;youarenotinvestigatingyourself,butratherjustbeingcuriousaboutyourselfinthewayasmallchildofthreeyearsorsowouldbecurious.Themorewecanobservehowweoperate,theeasieritbecomestorelaxbackintotheflow.
[Break]
Meditationpracticesforwhenyouaredistracted
Wewilldosomedifferentmeditationsnowdesignedtodealwithdistraction.Distractionoccurswhenourcapacityforawarenessgetscaughtupintheintensityofwhatisarising,anditseemsthatenergyisspeakingtoenergy.
Visualisingtheletter‘A’
Thesepracticesareinagroupcalledsem‐dzininTibetan,whichmeansawayofholdingorfocusingthemind.Weuseanobjectoffixationinordertocutthroughthemovementofdistraction,andthenwhenwestopdoingthepractice,wejustrelaxandareopen.
Inthefirstofthesepracticesweimaginethatonthetipofournoseisasmall,whiteletter‘A’.YoucanusetheTibetanletterifyouknowwhatthatlookslike,oryoucanjustimagineacapital‘A’.Asyoubreatheoutyouimaginethatthisletterisgoingawayfromyou,andasyoubreatheinitiscomingbacktowardsthetipofyournose.Youco‐ordinatethiswithyourbreathing,andyoufocusonthisgoinginandoutforaboutfiveminutesorasitsuitsyou.Thenjustsitandobservewhatimpactthishasonyou.
Wedon’tmakeanysoundwhilewedothis,wejusthaveourmovement,andthebreathwearefocusingonisthebreathcomingoutofthenostrils.
Whenyouendthiskindofpracticeyoujustwanttositquietlyandobserveifthereisanyimpactonyourownstate.Thisisapracticeyoucandoanywherereally.Ifyouareatworkandyoufeelstuckinaboringmeeting,orifyouarewaitingatanairportandtheflightisdelayed,itcangiveyouameaningfulfocus.
Oneofthefunctionsoflearningdifferentpracticesissothatyouwillneverbeinasituationwhereyouarejuststuckwaitingforsomethingtohappen.Thereisabigdifferencebetween
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beingatthemercyofcircumstancesandbeingopentowhateverarises.Intheformercasewearelikelytobecomeconditionedbywhatoccurs,soitismuchbettertoapplyameditationmethod.
SoundingPhat!
ThesecondofthesepracticesistomakethesoundofPhat!
Weusethispracticeifwearefeelingcaughtupinthoughtsoremotions.Itisparticularlyusefulformoods,becausewhenyouhaveanemotionithasakindofshapetoit.Youmightfeelangry,oryoumightfeeljealous,andtheseemotionstendtohaveaparticularfocus.Howeveramoodlikesadnessordepressionisverypervasive,likeamist,andthispracticeisverygoodforcuttingthroughthat.
Thesoundshouldbeshortandsharp.Youwanttoimagineitcomingupfromthecentreofenergybelowthediaphragm,two‐and‐a‐halffingersbelowthenavel,andcomingstraightoutthetopofyourheadsothatitcutsconnectionbetweensubjectandobjectandcreatesastateofdisorientation.
Ourtendencyisalwaystore‐orientourselves:tofindouridentityandourdirectionbycomparingandcontrasting,bylocatingourselvesinrelationtoobjects.InthispracticewekeepmakingthissoundPhat!againandagainuntilwedon’tknowwhereweare,andthenwestopandjustrestinthatstate.Youwillstillbesomewhere.Wherewillyoube?Ifyoucanseethatdirectly,thatisalreadythebeginningofthestateofcalmnessandclarity.
InmakingthesoundPhat!youwantittocomestraightupandoutofthetopofyourhead.Atfirstitmaybebettertodoitwithyoureyesclosedsothatyoucanjustgetintothisstate.Ifthesoundsthatotherpeoplemakestarttomakeyoufeelagitatedoramused,justkeepsayingitandgobackintothesoundagainandagain.WhenIsayOK,justsitquietlyandobserveyourownstate.
Ifyourownstatefeelsparticularlyfragilethenitmaybebetternottodoitsincethisisapracticefordis‐orienting,.Aswithallthesepracticesyouhavetobeawareofyourownparticularcondition.Theendresultistobeopenandaware–notlost.
Wewillstartnowanddothisforsometime.
[Phat!practice]
Youcanalsodothispracticeoutsideonyourownratherthanalltogetherinthisroom.Youwillbeabletogetintoitmoredeeplyifyouarenothearingotherpeople.Attheendwhenyoustopmakingthesound,youopenintoastateinwhichthereisnoconnectionwiththought.
Whenyoufirstdothispracticeyoumightbemoreawareoftheabsenceofsomething,becausethoughtshavebeenourconstantfriendsforalongtime.Butifyoujuststaywithoutagitation–relaxedandopen–youbecomeawareofthepresenceofaqualityofclarity.Youarepresent,butnotpresentasathoughtorasaconstruction,thereisjusttheclarityofanon‐conceptualexistence.Justthis.
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SoundingHa
WewillnowdoanotherpracticeandthisinvolvesthesoundHa.Onceagain,wemakethissoundshort,sharp,andquitequickly.Thisisanothermethodfordealingwithdistractionbecausemakingthesesoundsthemselvesareaformofmovement.Itisasifalltheaspectsofmovementthatcouldbetakingushereandthereinourdiscursivemeanderingsareconcentratedintothissound.Thereisnothingtothinkabout,toelaborateonortoconsider;wejustfullyfocusintothesounditself.ThenwhenIsayOK,wewilljustsitintheafter‐effect.
Makethesoundsharpandhard,andwithasmuchenergyaspossible.Sometimesyoucanfeelalittleembarrassedorself‐consciousinmakingnoise,butnoiseisanimportantthingbecauseithelpstoholdourfocusedattention.Byfixingonasound,itissomethingthatisverystronglythereandyetcompletelyungraspable.Makingsomevolumeishelpfulbecauseitisalsoblockingalltheothersenses,soyoufeelyourselfjustinthisworldofsound,andthenwhenweendthereisopensilence.
[HaPractice]
Thisisalsoapracticethatisgoodtodoonyourownforaslongasyoucan.Themostimportantpartofitiswhathappenswhenyoustopmakingthesound;thatyoufindyourselfexistinginastatewithfewerthoughts,astatewhichinmanywaysyoucan’tsayanythingabout.Themoreyoubecomefamiliarwiththisstate,themoreitsqualitystartstorevealitself.
Aswewerelookingatbeforeitisopen;nothingisclosingit.Ithasnolimitinspaceortime,andit’snotcovereduporrestingonanythoughts.Insomewayitlookslikenothingatall,andyetthereyouareinthemidstofit.Youarepresentbutnotpresentasyourordinaryself,notbasedonmemories,thoughts,hopes,fears,andsoon.Forthatreason,itisaveryusefulpractice.
Practicingthestruggleoftheasuras
Thenextpracticedoesnotinvolveanysound.Wesitwithourfeetflatonthegroundandourarmsaroundourknees,pullingourkneesinastightlyaspossible.Droppingourheadwerollitvery,veryslowlyandgentlyroundtotheleftandthentotheright.
Thispracticeiscalledthestruggleoftheasuras.Theasurasarejealousgodswhoarealwaysfightingwithothergodsandwhoalwayslose.Oftenwhentheylosetheygettiedupbuttheystillremainveryangry,sotheyarestrugglingtogetfree.Whentheheadgoesaroundyoucanmoveyourbodyalittlebit.
Wefocusourattentionfullyintothephysicalsensation.Youhavegottheattentionofholdingyourlegs,andthisveryslowandgentlemovementofthehead.It’sakindofhopelessstrugglebecauseyouarenotgoingtogetfree,sothereisnoneedtodoitinahurrybutyouaretooproudtostropstruggling!
Youcandoitforaverylongtime.Allthefocusisjustuponthissensationasitarisesuntilthereisnothingbutthearisingandpassingofsensation,andthatisthefixation.Westopaftersometime.
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Pleaserememberthattheneckisaveryvulnerableareaofthebody,andifyouhaveanyneckorbackproblemstakeagreatdealofcare.Wearenotactingagainstthebodyinanyofthesepractices.Wearealwayscollaboratingwithourownconditionandourownnature.
[Struggleoftheasuraspractice]
Maybeyoucanseeadifferencebetweenthesepracticesandtheoneweusedatthebeginningoftheday.
Whenweusethegeneralshamathacalmingpractice,wekeeptheattentionfocusedonanexternalpointoronthebreathandweareobservingwhatishappening.However,becauseintheseotherpracticesthemovementisoneofparticipationintheaction–wearenotstandingoutsideit–itmeansthatwehaveafixationintoonepoint,whichisanalignmentwiththeactivityasitoccurs.Formanypeoplethatismorepowerfulanduseful.
Themainthingwithallthesepracticesistodothemandfindyourownrelationshipwithyourself;whatworksandwhatdoesn’tworkforyou.
SoundingHung
Thisisamorerelaxedpractice.WemakethesoundofHungquitegentlythroughthemouthandthenose,soithasaslightnasalqualitytakingthesoundoutonthefullbreath.Hung.Hereagain,thefixationisintothesound,lettingyourwholeattentiongointothesounduntilthereisnothingbutthesound,andstayingwiththatuntilwestop.
[Hungpractice]
DayThree:
Purityfreeofstain
Linkedwiththisprimordialpuritythereisanotheraspectcalleddri‐meddag‐painTibetanwhichmeanspurityfreeofstains.Thispurityisrevealedwhenwerecognisethatourownnaturecannotbestained.
Asmanyofyouwillknow,PadmasambhavawasagreatsaintandyogifromOdiyana,whowenttoTibettohelpsecurethedevelopmentoftantricbuddhism.Itissaidthatoneofthefirstthingshedidwastocontrolallthelocalgodsanddemons.Hedidthisbyforcingthemtoshowtheirownseedsyllable.Manyofthemtooktheformofoldsoldierswithakindofbreastplatewhichwaslikeabig,brassdisc‐likemirror.Withthepowerofhismeditation,heforcedthemtoshowthisbasicseedsyllableontheirbreastplates.Hethencreatedamantraincorporatingtheseedsyllablesothatanybodywhorecitedthemantrawouldhavecontroloverthatlocalgodordemon.
Seedsyllablesasvibrationwithresonanceintheworld
Allthedeitieshaveaparticularseedsyllable:aparticularsoundoutofwhichtheirmandalaandtheirformarise.WehavebeenlookingatAaasthebasicmother‐soundoutofwhicheverythingarises.Thereistheideathattheuniverseisbasedonresonanceandaparticular
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energeticqualitythatispresentinallthingsandallbeings.Wedon’thaveonesimpleseedsyllable,wehaveverymanybecauseweareveryfragmented.
Perhaps,whenyouwereyoung,youhadbrothersorsisterswhowouldteaseyou.Usually,whenyouareyoungsomeoneworksoutwhatyourbuttonsareanddelightsinpressingthem.InEnglish,wewouldsaythattheyhave‘gotyournumber’,becauseallofusaredoinganumber.Wehaveparticularpatternsandproceduresthatwerepeat,andifsomebodyunderstandsthat,theycanuseittotheiradvantageortoouradvantage.
TheRussianthinker,MikhailBakhtinwasaliterarycriticandwrotealotabouthowhumanbeingsareconstructedoutofvoices:thatwhenwespeakwealwayshaveadialogicintention;wearespeakingtosomeone.Thepersonwearespeakingtomaynotbetheoneinfrontofus;inpsychoanalyticlanguagethatiscalledtransference.
ThekeythingregardingBakhtin’snotionisthatweareconstitutedoutofthesevoices;thatwhenwearesmallwehearpeoplespeaking,andweinternalisethesesitesorpositionsofspeechandemulatetheirvoice.Thesevoicestendtotakeonparticularlystructuredpatterns,sosomepeoplepresentthemselvesasthejoker,somepeoplepresentasthequietintellectual,somepeoplepresentprimarilyasthenice,friendlypersonandsoon.Eachofthesepositionsisawayofevokingakindofresponsefromtheotherperson.
Whenitiscomingfromus,andweseemtobesettinguptheenvironmenttoresonateaccordingtoourwish,andthatcanmakeusfeelquitepowerful.Butthatdialogicstructurealsomeansthatotherpeoplecanpositionthemselves,whichevokessomethinginuspriortoourconceptualawarenessofit.Thisisquiteahelpfulwayofthinkingaboutconditioning.
InTibetan,conditioningisdescribedinTibetanasdu‐je,whichmeanstogathertogetherorassemble,anditalsomeanstodo.Itreferstothefactthatpositionsgetconstructedoutoftheavailableresources.Whenapatternissetupitseekstofindaresonanceintheenvironmentbecausewecanonlyfullymanifestourparticularresonancesorpatternswithpeoplewhoknowhowtomakethecounter‐move.Peoplewhohaveparticularinterestsneedtobeabletoquicklyidentifyotherpeoplewhohavetheseinterests.Weidentifypeoplewhowillbringthecorrespondingaspectofourposition.
WhenPadmasambhavacametothesedemonshecalledtheirenergyintooneplace,andhefixeditandgavethemacleartask.Throughbringingoutthisbijatheycameintoaparticularform.Howeverifyouthinkofyourselfinthecourseofadayyouhavemany,manydifferentwaysyoumanifest.Perhapstravelingonpublictransport,goingintoshops,goingintowork,beingwithfriends,beingwithfamily,andineachofthesesituationsyouareconstitutedslightlydifferently.
Compassionmeansextendingourrepertoireofresponses
Weoftenobserveotherpeoplebehavinginwaysthatwecouldn’timaginedoingourselves.Somehowtheyfindawaytospeakandactinwayswecouldn’t.Theyhavetwoarms,twolegs,andoneheadandsodowe,butweacceptsomehowthattheyarefundamentallydifferent.Wedon’tthink,‘Oh,ifthey’rehumanandI’mhuman,Icouldalsodowhattheydo’.Itisatthispointthatwecanseetherestrictionoftherepertoireofourresonances,
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voices,ormoves,andthisisveryimportantifwewanttodevelopacapacityforcompassion.
Compassionmeansthatwehavetomanifestwhattheotherneedsorwhatthesituationneeds,whichmeanswehavetobebigger,broader,anddeeperthanwewouldbeordinarily.Inbuddhism,partofthebasisofrespectistoseethatallbeingshavebuddha‐natureand,ifthatisthecase,thenwhateverpatternorhabittheyhaveisnotthecoredefinitionofthemand,similarly,itisnotthedefinitionofus.
Hospitalityputstheguestfirst
Somepeoplebecomevegetarianorvegan,andifsomeonecametotheirhousetheywouldn’twanttocookanymeatforthem.Althoughinvitingsomeonetotheirhousetheyensurethattheotherpersonunderstandsitistheirhouse.Thisisthehospitalityofenteringmyworldonmyterms.
IhavespokenelsewhereaboutthestoryoftheoldGreek,Procrustes,wholivedinalittlehouseoutinthemiddleofabroadplain.Everyeveninghewouldlookoutfortravelers,andifhemetsomeonehewouldinvitethemtohishomeandofferthemabed.Hewouldgivethemsomefood,andtheywouldtalkandlaugh,andthenhewouldshowthemtothebed.Hisrulewasthattheyhadtofithisbedexactly.Iftheirbodyweretoolonghewouldcutoffabit,andiftheirbodywastooshorthewouldrackthemoutsothattheycouldstretchtofitthebedproperly.
Thisisaverygoodsymbolofalotofwhatwecall‘hospitality’.Arealhospitalityputstheguestfirst;thehostistheservantoftheguest.Thismeansthatifyoutakethebodhisattvavowandallbeingsareyourguests,youhavetolearnmanydifferentwaysofbeinginordertomakeeachofthesefeelathome.
Thisrelatestothesenseofhavingarepertoireofmovesandvoicesthatconfirmtoourselvesandtoothersthatwearewhowethinkandfeelweare.Ifyouwanttobereallyhospitableit’snothelpfultoknowwhoyouare;it’smoreimportanttoknowwhotheguestis.Themoreyouknowwhoyouare,themoreyoudefineyourpositionandyourpossibilities,andthespaceofwelcomeisalreadyforeclosed.
Thiscomesbacktopurityfreeofstains;thestainisamark,andthemarklimitsthepotential.Ifyouhaveablankpieceofpaperanythingispossible.Youcanwritealetter;youcandoacharcoalsketch;youcanworkwithacrylics,butassoonasyoumakeamarkonthepapertheinfinitepotentialoftheblankspaceisnowlimited.Andsoinordertoremainblank,therefore,ofinfinitepotential,wehavetoobserveandtrackthevariouswaysinwhichwearemarked.
Allsortsofmarksareonus:marksoffear,anxiety,pride,aneedtocontrol,aneedtobecontrolled,shyness,avoidance,narcissism,andtheimpositionofoneselfonsituations...Whenwegoaboutourdailybusinessitisimportanttoobservehowwearepositionedinsituationsandhowourpositionconstrainsotherpeopleintheirfreedomtobethemselves.Thiscanbedifficulttodo.
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WhenFreudwasdevelopinghismethod,heestablishedtheruleofabstinence.Hesaidtheanalystshouldrevealaslittleaspossibleaboutthemselvesandshouldnot,asfaraspossible,engageintheordinarysignifiersofsocialconvention.Thatistosay,theyshoulddonothingthatcouldbetakentoconfirmthatwhatisgoingtohappenisanego‐to‐egotransaction.Thenon‐confirmationofthisgeneratesananxiety,andtheanxietyopensapathtounconsciousorhiddenphenomena.Manypeopledonotwanttoworkinthisway.Theyfeelthatitiscoldandthattheanalystisnotinterestedinthemasaperson.It’strue;theanalystisnotveryinterestedinthemasaperson.Thefactthatpeoplehavebeeninterestedinthemasapersonisthebasisofalltheirtroubles!
Thisistoodifficultformostpeople.Theypreferamother’sloveandtheconfirmationthattheyareactuallygoodpeopletryinghardunderdifficultcircumstances.Thatistosay,thepatientdemandstheonethingtheanalystshouldn’tgivethem,whichisreassurance.Ifthepatientcanacceptthehardfactthattheyarecompletelyaloneinarealmtheydon’tunderstand,thenthereisthepossibilityofawakeningtoaprofoundexistentialunderstanding–ade‐centringoftheego.
Itissimilarinbuddhism.TheBuddhasayseverythingisempty.TheBuddhasayseverythingisanillusion.Thatisnotverypolitebecausepeopletrytheirbest.Somebodywenttothemarketandboughtflowerstogive.TheyareanillusionYoucouldthenask,‘Well,whybother?’Itisdifficulttofindabalance.TheBuddha’steachingisthemiddleway,betweentheextremes.Emptinessisnotnihilism.Thefactthattheflowersareimpermanentandillusoryoffersusachancetoenjoythembeforetheyvanish.Thisalsooffersusachancetoenjoyandmeeteachotherheretoday.Tomorrow,wevanish,andwhetherornotwewillmeetagain,wedon’tknow.Whilewearehere,arewereallyincontactwitheachotherornot?Beingopentotheillusoryandungraspablenatureofthingsisveryhard.
Question: WhyshouldIbeopentosomeoneiftheyaregoingtoleaveme?
James: Whynot?Everyoneisgoingtoleaveussoonerorlater...maybeinfiftyyears...maybeintenyears...maybeinoneday.
Question: ButIonlywanttoinvestmyselfinaplacethatIknowissecure.
James:Thisisthelogicofthemarketplace:fairexchangeisnorobbery.Marketingandworkingoutwhatisthereturnonmyinvestmentisaprimewayofmaintainingconditioning.Wetakephenomenaasstronglyrealandthenwetrytoensurethatitmanifestsintheformthatisbestforus.
TheBuddha’steachingisthatallphenomenaareimpermanentandillusory,andyou,theonewhoislookingforbenefit,arealsoimpermanentandillusory.That’sveryhard.Allofourlifeisbuiltintheotherdirection.Wewanttokeepourjob,wewanttokeepourfriends,wewantpeopletolikeus…Weputalotoftimeandenergyintodevelopingourselvesinparticularwaysthatwethinkwillbesociallyacceptable.
Wewantthingsonourownterms
Basically,asFreudindicated,thisisbecausewearelookingforreassurance.Wewanttobelovedbutwewanttobelovedonourterms,asweare,thatistosay:loveme–lovemy
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condition.ButwhentheBuddhalovespeople,helovestheirbuddha‐natureandheisnotveryinterestedintheircondition.Veryoftenthethingwhichforusismostfascinatingaboutourselvesisexactlythatwhichgetsinthewayofanykindofawakening:thevariousstructuresandritualsofourlives,thefamiliarhabits,resonances,voices,inclinationsandsoon.
Weneedtostarttoobservewhatisthelimitofmyself?WhydoIturnawayfromthis?Sometimesweturnawayfromthingsbecauseitdoesn’thelptheother.Insuchasituation,wehavetoreflectonthepurityofourmotive?Wasourintentionprimarilyforourselves;thatwewanttosaysomethingorestablishsomethinginordertomakethesituationthewaywewantit.
Againandagain,wehavetoobserve,whyisitsoimportantformethatlifeisstructuredinthisway?WhowouldIbeifmylifewerenolongerstructuredinthisway?Aswediscussedearlier,thetraditionaldescriptionofourtruenatureis‘purefromtheverybeginning,notrestingonanything,notrequiringanycoveringorsupport’.Whenwelookatourordinarysenseofselfweseeitisonehundredandeightydegreestheopposite–quiteclosedin,fragile,andneedingendlesssupportandmaintenance.
Themoreweseethefaultsandlimitationsofidentifyingwithtransient,impermanentsituations,themoreweareableinthemeditation,whenthoughtsandfeelingsarise,justtoletthembethere.Wedon’tneedthem.Theegoneedsthembecausetheegoisathoughtandthoughtsgetlonely,whichiswhytheyalwaysgooutingroups.Butwhoistheonewhoisexperiencingthethought?Relaxintothatstate:thisistheminditself;itisnotathought,notafeeling,notasensation.Themindisnotcreatedbytheseanditdoesn’tneedthem.
Inthemeditationthemorewecanletgooffthebetteritis;whereasintheworldthemorewecanaccumulate,learn,andknowhowtouse,thebetterourmindbecomes.Thisdoesn’tmeanthatyouhavetopractiserenouncingexternalphenomena.Rather,byrelaxingintothisopenstateagainandagainyoucometoseethedynamic,impermanentnatureofillusoryforms,ofsubjectandobject.Doingthatletsusfreelyparticipateintheunfoldingmatrixoftheworldwithouttoomanyhopesandfears.
Ifyouasktheworldtogiveyouheaven,that’saverybigmistake.Theworldwillgiveyoutheworld.Youeatalovelydinnerandthenextdayyouhaveagoodpooh;thatiswhathappensintheworld.Thedeliciousfoodwasvanishingasyouateit.Ifyoudidn’teatit,itwouldbeofnobenefitforyou;yetassoonasyouputitinyourmouthithasvanished.Theaestheticqualityofourexistenceisrevealedthroughaparticipation,whichaltersthefieldofexperience.
Inthatway,bynotaskingimpermanentchangingphenomenatobestable,weclingtothemless.Havinglessexpectationofthem,wedon’tspendourtimeconditioningtheenvironmentandbeingconditionedbyit.Thismanifestsasthesecondformofpurity:thepurityfreeofstain.
OK,sonowwewilldoonefinalThreeAapractice.Ifyouwanttogoout,youcandomoremeditationintheforestbyyourself.WedotheThreeAapracticeandjustrestintheopenspace.
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[ThreeAapractice]
DayFour
Purityinseparablefrommanifestation:moreonkadag
Wecometothelastpartofourtimetogether,andwewillcontinuewiththeworkofstabilisingthesenseofkadag.Thisisnotathingthatyoufindonceandthenhave;itismoreamodeofbeing,astateofawakening,andsomethingtoreturntoagainandagain.
Yesterdayweexaminedthenatureofconditioningandourhabitsofidentificationwithenergy,asiftheywereaseriesoftrueentities.Eachtimewecomeintothisidentificationwithathought,afeeling,orasensation,thereisthereaffirmationofthetrueexistenceofourselfandsimultaneouslythelimitationofbeingcutofffromawarenessoftheground.Acentralpointhereisourwillingnesstoidentifywithalimitasifitwasthetotalityofone’sexistence.Attachmentisnotastablestate;it’sthismoment‐by‐momentfusingintotheenergythat’sarising,whereenergyclingsontoenergyandcreatesthesenseofaunique,precise,fixed,enduringentity.Aswelookedyesterday,thesenseof‘I’facesintwodirections.Itisboththelinkwiththeinfinitegroundandthepointofentryintoidentificationwithmomentaryphenomena,soitalwaysstandsatthecrossroadsofsamsaraandnirvana.
Thereisatraditionalsayingintheviewofdzogchenthat‘thereisonegroundandtwopaths’.Everythinghasthesamebasicground,whichisthisopendimension;themirrorlikestate,whichisourownnature.Thetwopathsarethepathofintegrationofthereflectionwiththeground,or,thepathofintoxicationwiththereflection.Thisintoxicatedstatehasthesamegroundastheawakenedstatebutitdoesn’ttakeyouanywhereelse,anditdoesn’tcreateanythingtrulyself‐existing.Butwhileweareinit,itisasifweareindeedinthislimitedconditionedstatemovingthroughtimeonthebasisofcauseandeffects,karmaandsoon.
Itisveryimportanttohaveadirectexperienceofyourowninfinitenaturesothatwhentheexperienceof‘I’arisesyouobservehowitisthemovementofthemind;itisnottheminditself;it’snotthetrueidentity.
Wewilldosomepracticetoinvestigatethis,butinvestigatingitinaveryrelaxed,openway,byseeingratherthanlooking,becausewearenotlookingforsomething.Wearenotlikeabirdwatcherintheforesttryingtoseeararebird,butratherinarelaxed,openwayjustseeingwhatisoccurringandstayingwithwhatyouseesothatitrevealsitself.
Wearetoointelligentforourowngood
Onceagain,wehavetoseethatwearealltoointelligentforourowngood.Ourmindsgosoquickly,thatassoonaswegetasenseofwhatsomethingis,weleapontothenextthing.Wetendtorestonanideaandcometoaconclusionasiftheideawouldtellusthetruth.Wedon’thavetobesoactive.LikethegreatinterrogatorinDostoevsky’s,Crimeand
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Punishment,hesimplywaits,andRaskolnikovcomesthroughthespaceofferedtohim,intotherevelationofhisowncomplicity.
Inthesameway,withouttryingtoprosecutethefalsityofyourmind,remainrelaxedandopenandobserveverypreciselyhowthoughtsarise,howyouaretemptedtorestonthem,andhowthethoughtthenleaves.Wakeuptothedeceitfulnatureofthoughts;theyalwaysoffermorethantheycandeliver.
VisualisingAawithrainbowlight
WewillstartinasimplewaywiththeThreeAapractice.However,thistime,inthespaceinfrontofus,wecanimagineasmall,whiteletter‘A’surroundedbyrainbowlightaboutanarmandahalf’slengthinfrontofyou.
Sittingintheusualway,lettheweightrestthroughtheskeletonsothatthemusclescanrelax.Theheadisslightlyraisedandthegazeisopenintothespace.Somepeoplecanvisualiseveryeasilyandforothersitismoredifficult.Forourpurposes,thefeelingtoneismoreimportantthantheprecisevisualisation.
TheAaasemptinessrepresentstheawakenedmindofallthelineages.Itisthequalityofallourteachers,sothatwhateverpracticesyouhavedone,inwhateverlineage,cancometogetherinthissimplepoint.WereciteAathreetimes,andintegratethestateofourspaciousheartwiththespaceinfrontofusintheformoftheAa.ThenlettheAadissolve.Restinspace,andjustgentlyasabackgroundinterestholdthequestion:wheredoesthemindrest?
Wheneveryoufindasolutiontothis,orwheneveryouseemtofindastablesite.thenjuststaywiththat,notidentifying,notpushingitaway,justremainwithitandseewhathappens.Continuedoingthatwithwhateverseemstoofferyoutheplaceorsitefromwhichyouoperateasastateofawareness.
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Aswehavelookedbefore,itisbettertodothatkindofpracticeforashortperiodoftimesothatyouarenotgettingintostrainingormakingeffortand,againandagain,observethesiteoftheself.Whenyourecogniseitsimpermanence:thefactthatallthatmanifestsinthemindisself‐liberating,thentheegofunctionisrevealedverydirectlytoyouasjustamomentofenergy.Itisnotwrongorbad–youdon’thavetogetridofit–it’sjustnotwhatitappearstobe.Ifyoutakeitatfacevalue,athowitpresentsitself,thenyouwillbeenmeshedinthefantasyofstableentities.
Themoreweobserve,themorewefindthateverythingthatcouldbeus,vanishesandyetwearestillhere!Whatisthatqualityofstillbeinghere?Thisistheclarityofawareness:thecapacityofthemindtoilluminatethefieldofexperience,yettheonethingitcanneverilluminateisitselfasanentity.Theclaritywhichshowseverything,cannotbeshownitselfbecauseitisnotathingwhichenterstheworldofobjects.
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Again,weseetheindestructibleprimordialpurityofthemindexistingnotassomethingapartfrommanifestationbutinseparablefrommanifestation.Itispervasive.Everyexperience,goodorbad,isjustanaspectofthisgroundclarity,andyetitnevercoversnorcontaminatesthegroundclarity.
Sonowlet’sgobackintothepracticeandthistimewewillfocusparticularlyonwhatistheshapeofthemind?Thisiswhyitisarealadvantagetodothepracticewithyoureyesopenbecause,asyouknow,ourtendencyistoseeourselvesaslivinginsideourbody.Whenyouaresittinghereyouhearthenoiseofthetraffic,sometimesbirdsaresinging,peoplearemoving,andinourordinaryunderstandingwewouldthinkthattheseareeventshappeningoutsideourmindcomingintous.
Relaxingintotheopenstate,justobserveinaverycalmwaywhatisarisingandwhereyouareyouinrelationtoit.Thenstaywithwhateverconclusionyoucometoandseewhathappenstothat.Haveyouestablishedanythingthatcanendurethroughtime,oristhatjustanotherconceptualelaboration?
Againandagain,recognisethenatureofthefalsesolution;wedon’thavetoremoveit,weobserveitgoingfreebyitselfandthisbringsustothestateofthepurityfreeofstains.Whenwealloweachofthesepropositionstocomeandgobyitselfyoufindthattheyleavenotrace.Andwhentheyleavenotrace,manifestationandtheopenpurityofthemindareinseparableasthenaturalradiance
WewilldotheThreeAapracticeagainlookingforthedimension,theheight,thewidth,whatisoutside,andwhatisinside.Lookagainandagainatwhateverconclusionyoucometoandwhenyoufindtheseconclusions;justseewhattheyactuallyare.Theywillshowthemselvesdirectlytobereliableorunreliable.Youdon’tneedtocheckoutyourconclusionthroughreadingsomebook.Ifyoustayrelaxedandopen,themindwillshowitself.
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Whytheseenquiriesarefundamental
Ifyouarenotusedtodoingthiskindofpracticeitcanbequitedifficult,becausetheobjectsweareattendingtoareverysubtle.However,theyarefundamentalenquiriesforvariousreasons.
Thefirstreasonisthatinlearningtolookinthiswaywedevelopacalmopennesswhichallowswhateverisarisingtobethereandrevealitself.Thisislinkedwiththequalityknownasdang,whichisthecapacityofthemindtoexhibitwhateverarises.
Traditionally,itiscomparedtoacrystalballbeingplacedonapieceofcolouredcloth.Theballinitselfhasnocolour,butithasthequalityofallowingitselftobesuffusedwiththecolourthatitisplacednextto.
Whenwerelaxandopenandasoundarises,ononelevelitappearstobe,forexample,amotorbike,andifyoustarttothinkaboutityoucanevenseethedirectionthemotorbikeisgoing.Ifyouknowaboutmotorbikesyoucanimaginethesizeoftheengine.Howniceitwouldbeonasunnydaytobeonamotorbikeinthemountains.Youmightthenrecognise
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thatmeditationisawasteoftimeanddevoteyourlifetoholidays!Thisisthepathofconceptualelaboration.
However,ifwestaywiththesounditselfasitarisesand,withthebackgroundtrainingthatwehavebeendoinginvipassana–notstronglybuildingonthenatureofsound,nothavingtodefineitasthisorthat–itthenmovesoutofthespace.Likethecrystalball,weofferfullhospitalitytothisarising,andthenitgoes;itdoesn’tleaveanytraceanditdoesn’tneedtobemanaged,edited,orreactedto.
Westarttoseethatthecolouriswithinthecrystalball,andthesoundisarisingwithinthemind.Ifamotorbikesound,whichfromaconceptualpointofunderstandingismaybetwokilometresaway,seemssimultaneouslytobeinsidethemind,thenwhatisthedimensionofthemind?Bystayinginthepractice,theexperienceofbeingintheworldwillilluminatethenatureoftheworld.
Returningtothisonegroundandtwopaths…Ononepathweallowphenomenatoshowthemselves,andontheotherpathwetellphenomenawhattheyare,accordingtotheknowledgeandconditioningthatwehave.Onthefirstpathweexperiencedirectlythemanifestingandself‐liberatingofeverykindofphenomena,andonthesecondpathwearecondemnedtoalwaysbeingbusytryingtomakesenseofwhatisgoingon.Wehavebeendoingthelatterpathformanylifetimes,soforthepurposeofpracticeweneedtotilttowardstheformerpath.
Howeverthegoalisintegrationbecausethatisthequalityofthenaturalcondition:theconceptualunderstandingisalsopartofthemanifestationoftheground.Ifwerecognisethis,thereisnolimittoobscuration!Thekeythingistogobackintothepracticeagainandagainuntilyouhaveyourowndirectexperience.
Wewilldothepracticeagainnow.
[ThreeAapractice]
Thatparticularareaofexaminationisveryhelpfulforbeingabletoseparatethemindfromwhatarisesinthemind,andtoawakentothenatureofthetimelessstate.
Aslongasouridentityislinkedintotheprocessofthoughts,feelings,andsensations,orisconcernedwithcauseandeffect,thenwecanseetheparticularlinesthroughwhichthepatternsofouridentitycomeintobeing.Buttheminditself–awareness–doesn’tcomefromanyplaceanddoesn’tgotoanyplace,butratheristhefieldwithinwhichallthismovementoccurs,amovementwhichitselfdoesn’tcomefromanywhereorgotoanywhere.
Thisisthebasisfortheawakeningofnon‐duality,sospendingtimewiththissimpleareaofenquiryisveryhelpful.Ifyoufindthisconfusingthenit’simportantnottostruggle,becausewhatistherewillnotrevealitselfthroughstruggleoreffort.Itisbettertogoforawalk,saysomeprayers,andcomebackintoastatewhereyouhavemoreopennessandconfidence.Then,verygently,takeuptheenquiryagain.
Wewillhaveabreaknow,andthenwewillhavesometimeforquestionsandthoughtsbeforeweend.
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[Break]
QuestionsandResponses
Thereflectionofthemirror,orthemirroritself?
Question:Inthismeditation,istheonewhoiswatchingorinvestigatingthethoughtsthereflectionofthemirror,orthemirroritself?
James:That’saveryinterestingquestion.Atfirst,ofcourse,it’sjustthereflection,becausewestartthepracticeandthenwemaybegetabitdistractedandthenweremember,‘Oh,Ishouldkeepaneyeonthis’.
Gradually,however,themorewedoit,thenaturalclarityofthestateofthemirroritselfistheonethatisilluminatingwhatisthere.Inordertofacilitatethatmovementacross,wewanttodothepracticeinastenderandgentleawayaspossible.Mostofushavequiteatendencytocriticism,blaming,judgingandsoon,aswellastendenciessometimesofambitionandaneedtogetthingsright.Allthesesubtletendenciesorflavourscancometoinflecthowweaskthequestion,sothatthereisakindofoverintensityoraccelerationinsideit.
Imagineagymnastwhoisleapingoverahighhorseanddoingatwirlintheair.Whentheyland,theyhavetolandstablywithoutwobblingormovingforward.Theyhavetohaveabeautifulperfectioninthemovementthroughspacesothatthelandingisjustaneasefularriving.
Inasimilarway,withpractice,welearnhowtoholdthesequestionsasifweweretuningastringedinstrumentlikeaguitar–neithertootightnortooloose.
Inmeditationtherearetwomainproblematicdirections.Oneiscalled‘sinking’,inwhichourclaritystartstofuseintowhateverisoccurring.Theotherisexcitementoragitation,inwhichmanyideasaremanufacturedveryquickly.Itcreatesasensethatsomethingishappening,butactuallyitisadistractionandittakesusfurtheraway.Atfirstwehavetobeabitactiveotherwisewewillforgetwhattodo,butgraduallytheclarityofopenreceptivitystartstobeongoingandthatisthebasisfromwhichitismucheasiertoseewhatisgoingon.
Weliveinaculturewhichhasbeendominatedbya‘willtopower’–the‘cando’attitude–butjustbecauseyoucandosomethingdoesn’tmeanyoushoulddoit,andpartofwhatwehavetopracticeisbeinguseless.Allthethoughts,alltheelaborations,alltheinsightswecoulddevelop,wedon’tneedtodevelop.Wedon’thavetobuildourbuddha‐nature;it’snotcreatedoutofourthoughts,nomatterhowwonderfulandshiningthesethoughtsmaybe.Thisisthereallysubtlerenunciation:tofreelyacceptthatenergywilltellusaboutenergy.Itwillnottellusaboutthegroundofenergyandsopatternsofthoughtsthemselveswillneverbeabletodescribeorilluminatewhatisthere.
Inthetradition,wehaveninelevelsoftransmission.Theseareoftencondensedintothreelevels.ThereisthedirecttransmissionoftheBuddha’smind;thesymbolictransmissionofthevidyadharasorthosewhoareawake;andthespokentransmissionforordinarypeople.Asyoucomeintothisthirdleveloftransmission,whichiswoveninwithlanguage,allthe
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complexitiesofsemioticelaborationcomeclosetothedharmateaching.Everywordwesayevokesmanyotherconstellationsofassociationandpossiblemeaning.Therefore,thetransmissionoccursthroughwords,symbols,anddirectlyinthemeditationpractice.
Ourgoalinpracticeistomovefromlanguage,whichispartofmovement,towardsstillnessandsilence,andthenbackagainasanintegratingforce.But,firstofall,wehavetoletgoofourattachmenttoturbulence.
Anyotherthoughtsorquestions?
Integrationisnothomogenisation
Question:Whenyouaskedustolooktoseewhereisthemind,itwascleartomethatmymindwashighupaboveme.IknowthatthisisconnectedtomychildhoodwhenIhadsometraumaticexperienceandIlearnedtogotoahigherlevel.
Nowit’sadoubleexperience;itcanbeverynicetobeupsohighaboveandinthisstateofmindyoucanseealot,buttheotherthingisthatyouarenotconnectedwiththebody.Whatisthebestwaytodealwiththis?
James:Whatyouaredescribingisakindofdissociative,protectivesplittingfromtheimpactofsomekindoftrauma.Ofcourseoneofthefantasiesthatweoftencarryisthatweexistinasimpleway–thatwearejustonething–buteverybodyhasmultipleaspectstothemselves.Weareincoherent.Ifweweremorecoherenttheworldwouldbepersecutory.Forinstance,attheendofthisvillageyouwillseethatsomebodyhasbuiltaverybighouseandtheyhaveputalargemetalfenceallthewayaroundit.Theydon’tlivethere;thisisasymboloftheirsuccess.Havingestablishedwhotheyare,theynowhavetoprotectit,andthebestwaytoprotectitistokeepeveryoneout.Ifwewanttorelatetootherpeople,partofthatistoacceptthatwearecalledintobeingindifferentways.
Fromthatpointofview,itisnotthatthesetwoaspectsneedtosomehowcomeintobeingone.DuetocausesandconditionsIfindmyselflikethis,andduetoothercausesandconditionsIfindmyselflikethat.Whoistheonewhoisawarethat‘NowIamlikethis’,and‘NowIamlikethat’?Themoresubtleattentiononecanpaytothesestateswithoutjudgingthem,thentheonewhoisofferingthatsubtleattentionisthesiteofintegration.
Integrationisnothomogenisation;itisnotlikeputtingeverythingtogetherinablenderandmakingonetaste.Evenasordinarypeople,wecanneverknowwhowearebecausewearealwaysbecomingaccordingtocausesandcircumstances.However,beingathomeinthatco‐emergentbecomingcanhelpustofeelathomeintheworld,sincethetraumathatcausesthedissociationisonewhichcannotbeworkedwith.
Whenweareyoungwedon’thavethecognitiveskills,thesocialsupportandsoon,butgraduallywecanstarttoofferhospitalitytoallthepartsofourselves.Tohavethecapacitytohaveanoverviewisveryuseful.Whenthesubmarineisunderthewateritcanputuptheperiscopeandhavealookaround.
Soyouhaveapersonalperiscope!Atleastyougotsomethingoutofwhatwasprobablyaprettyshittyexperience!Alotofwhatweareconcernedwithishowtomakefriendswiththedifferentaspectsofourselves.
Asyoucanseefromthethangkapaintingonthewall,Padmasambhavahaseightmainmanifestations.Padmasambhavaisalwaysrepresentedasverypowerfulandableto
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manageanysituation,buthedidn’tholdontoafixedsenseofhisidentityandtrytoestablishhimselfinthesamewayinallcircumstances.Heshowscompletelydifferentforms.
Whentraumacausesustotakeondifferentformsitisterriblethatsomeforcewedidn’twanttohappenmadethathappenforus,butthepositivesideisthatitshowsusthecreativityandthepotentialformultiplewaysofmanifesting.
Fromtimetotime,onanordinarylevel,wegetsick.Whenwearesickwearenotwell.Wecanthink,‘Oh,Idon’twanttobesick,Iwanttobewell.’Butit’samazingtobesick!Whenyouhaveacold,waterdribblesoutofyournose–thisisamazing!Thebodymightshiveralittlebit,andifyoustaywiththeexperience,thisiswhoyouare.
Tobeathomehoweveryouareisthebestpreparationfordeath.Inthecourseofadaymanydifferentthingshappentousandimpactus.However,veryoftenthesethingsaredeniedbecausewehavethenarrativeofthecontinuityof‘I,me,myself’asIknowmyselftobe.Thisnarrativegivesusasensethatwearemorecoherentthanweactuallyare,andbecauseofthatwefeelwehavesomethingfixedwhichwecancontain.Whenpeopleareinthatsituation,movingtowardsdeathisdifficult.
Somepeopledieinsuddenaccidents,orillnessesofvariouskinds.Somewaysofdyingwilltakeyouintothegentlecareofdoctors,whichisnotnecessarilythebestenvironmenttodiefromadharmapointofview.Thatistosay,ifwearesurprisedinourdailylifewearegoingtobeahellofalotmoresurprisedwhenwedie.
Experiencingthesestatesinyourselfandbecomingmoreawareofthedifferentstates,youcanstarttoseehowonestatestartstoblossomoutanddissolves,andthensomeotherstatecomesalong.Thisisgoodpreparationforthedeathprocesswherewefindourselvesbecomingsomethingwedon’trecognise:‘IamnotwhoIwas’.Atthatpointwecanask,‘Whyisthishappeningtome?Thisshouldn’tbehappeningtome’,butthisisnotveryhelpfulsinceitishappeningtous,andit’sirreversible.
Themoreyoucanobservehowyourlivedday‐by‐dayexistenceissomethingmovableandchanging,onestatetoanother…onceyoumoveintothedeathprocessitwillbethesame.Andwitheachtransformation...hereIam...hereIam...hereIam...
Anyotherquestions?
Potatopeelers
Question: YesterdaywedidsomepracticesusingthesoundsHungandHa.IamwonderinginwhatcontextIwouldusethesedifferentpractices,andwheredoesthisleadme?
James:Accordingtothetradition,therearesomegeneralguidelinesonwhentouseeachofthepractices,butwehavetorememberthateachofthesepracticesisamethod.
Forexample,wehavepotatopeelersandtheirfunctionistoremovepotatoskin.Butifyouhavebeautifulsmall,newpotatoesyouwouldn’twanttopeelthem.Nomatterhowbeautifulyourpotatopeeleris,itisuselessinrelationtonewpotatoes.IntheTibetantraditiontheyhaveverymany‘potatopeelers’,andthegeneralopinionofmanyTibetanteachersisthatallwesternpeopleareoldpotatoeswithverythickskins!Sotheyofferthespecialngondropotatopeelerwhicheveryoneshoulduse.
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IdidaretreatinTsoPemaanddidmanykindsofdifferentpracticesincludingprostrations.AttheendoftheretreatItoldmyteacherwhatIhaddoneincludingtheprostrations,andheasked,‘Whydidyoubother?Isaid,‘IthoughtIhadto.’Andhesaid,‘Ohyes,youthoughtyouhadto.’Ireplied,‘Itsaysinthetextthatwehavetodothat.’Hesaid,‘Butdidyouaskyourselfifitwasdoingyouanygood?Whatisthepointofmeteachingyoudzogchenifyouwanttobestupid?’
So,intheenditisuptoyou.Allthemethodsaregoodbutonlyyouliveinyourskin.Nomatterhowmuchknowledge,experience,andintuitionsomeoneelsehastheyarealwaysworkingwithageneralpictureofhowtheotherpersonis.
Howeverwhatwehavebeenlookingatalotatovertheselastfewdaysisthedynamicnatureofourexperience;itischangingmomentbymoment.Thekeythingistotryallthepracticesandgetasenseofhowtheyfunctioningeneral,andthenapplytheminyourownrangeofstatesandfindoutforyourselfiftheyarehelpfulornot.
Partoftheproblemisthatwewantsomeonetotellushowtodothings;thisisthepositionofthechildinrelationtotheparent.Manydharmatextstalkoftheguruortheteacherasthefather,butwhenyougettothedoorofenlightenmentithasasignonthetopthatsays:“Adultsonly”!
Anyotherthoughtsorquestions?
Comment:Inanswertothequestionwhatdoesthemindreston,Icametotheconclusionthatitissilence.Butaswellassilencethereissound,sothereistheconnectionbetweensoundandsilence.
James:Thekeythingisthatwhenyouhaveasenseofthemindassilence,itishoveringonakindoffulcrum.Itcouldmoveintobeingaconcept:‘Itissilence’and‘NowIknowthatitissilence’,oryoucantiltitbacktobeingtheexperienceandjustbethesilence.
Themoreyoucanrestinthatstateitself,themoreitisimpossibletosayanythingaboutit.Thenyouwillexperiencethatallsoundiscomingoutofthatstateofsilence,andthatyouarethesourceofallsound,butthisyouisnotsomethingthatcanbegrasped.Beingisnotanentity.
Ithinkthekeythingisgointotheexperience.Butthoughtisathief;itisalwaystryingtostealsomething;italwayswantstohavesomethingtotakeaway.Ifyourestinthesilencethereisnothingtotakeaway.
Don’tslumpbackintotheRealmofSleep
Iwilljustsayalittlemoreinrelationtothegroundespeciallyinrelationtocompassion.Wewillsoonbedispersingfromthisplaceandgoingondifferentkindsofjourneysintodifferentkindsofenvironments,butmostprobablytheseenvironmentsarenotparticularlysupportiveofpractice.Howarewegoingtomaintainthevalueandtheusefulnessofwhatwehavebeenexploringheretogether?
Themostimportantthingistoexplorethenatureofenergy.Whatwehavehadhereissharedexperience.Yourjourneyisanexperience.Whenyougethomethatisalsoanexperience.Ifyouimagineputtingyourkeyinthefrontdoorandyouthenarriveinafamiliarspace.
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ThisistheRealmofSleepbecauseeverythinginyourhousewilltrytopullyoubacktotheassumptionsyouhaveaboutyourself.Itcanbequitecomfortingtobeamongfamiliarobjectsandpeople,eveniftheyareannoying.Iftheyareannoyingwhenyougetback,theywereprobablyannoyingbefore,andthat’salsopartofyourworld,sowedon’tneedtochangetheexternalcircumstances.Wearejusttryingtoseethingswithfresheyes,bringingthisqualityofopennessandgenerosity.
Whenyougointothekitchen,youturnonthetapandwatercomesout.Thisisamazing.Yoursofthandtouchesapieceofmetalandwatercomesout.Youopenthefridgeandalightcomeson,andthislightshowsyouthingsthatyoucaneat–amazing–wonderful!
Theworldweliveinisincredible.Therearetreesandinthetreestherearelittleanimalswithfeathers,andtheygo,‘tweet,tweet,tweet.’Whydotheydothat?Wedon’tknow,andwealsodon’tbelieveMr.Darwineither.WhytheyarehereissomethingtodowiththeBuddhaandnottodowithevolution.Materialismisthedeathofdharmaandit’saverybigdisease:itexplainseverythingbyremovingthevaluefromeverything.
Comingbacktothefreshnessofthesituation,youopenadrawertogetoutyourclothesforworkandyouseesomethingred;youcanjustbewiththered.Whatisred?It’sanexperience.[Althoughofcourseweneedtouselanguagetomediateourpassageintheworld,wewanttoredirectittotheplaceofbeingasupport,becauseformanyofusitbecomesthedirector.]
Languageidentifies,explains,andilluminates,butthisisonlyhalfthestory,becauseitisalsoobscuringandtheobscurationisveryimportant.Ifwenolongerfeeltheimpactoftherednessofthered,orareamazedthatcarswork,thenthevitalityofbeingaliveasaparticipantintheworldcollapsesandwebecomesomebodywhoismanagingourlife.Thishasakindofpowertoit,butalsoquitealotofdullness.
TheBuddha’sbasicteachingsonimpermanenceareaninvitationtobeconnectedinafreshandvitalwaywithourexistencemomentbymoment.Whenweseethateverythingischangingitalsobecomeseasierforustochange.Ifalorryorbusisstuckonaflatroadyouwouldneedmanypeopletopushitinorderforittomove,butifit’sonaslopeandit’salreadystartingtomove,it’smucheasier.
Thisisexactlythesamequestionasinpsychotherapy;neurosisgivestheimpressionofstasis,sothestateseemstobethesamebutactuallyit’sdynamicandrepeating.Themorewecanseethatwearedoingourneurosis–thatit’snotsomethingwhichimprisonsusbutsomethingthatweareco‐creatorsof–thenitbecomesmucheasiertochangeit.
YouwillfindthatthefirstteachingsoftheBuddhaanddzogchengointhesamedirection:‘Allthedharmamethodsarehelpfulbutourlivesareshort.Wedon’thavemuchtime,sothekeythingistofindpracticesthatworkforyou.Youcanonlydothatbygettingtoknowyourself.Therefore,thekeypointistoobserveyourselfandnotlimityourselfbyassumptionsaboutyourself.’
Thedifferencebetweenbuddhasandordinarybeingsisthatbuddhasknowtheyarebuddhasandhumanbeingsdon’tknowtheyarebuddhas.Wedon’tknowwearebuddhasbecausewethinkwearesomethingelse,sowehavetoenquireintothatprocessofthinking‘Whydowethink,andhowdowethink,wearewhatwetakeourselvestobe?’
OK,ifwedoafinalThreeAapractice,andattheendofitwededicatethemerit.
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[PracticeandDedicationofMerit]
I’dliketothankSylvesterforhistranslationintoGerman,andofcourseSylvesterandLifortheorganization,whichisahugeamountofwork.[Applause].Maintaininganenvironmentlikethisistrulyagiftbecausethisisaveryunusualkindofplace.EverytimeIarrivehereIcertainlyfeelveryateaseandathome,andthat’saverysweetofferingoutintotheworld.
Iwouldalsoliketothankyouallforcomingandengaginginthepracticebecauseitrequiresalotoffocusedattention.Thethingswetalkaboutarequitedifficult.Theyaredifficultintellectually,butalsoemotionally,becausetheyputintoquestionmanyofthebeliefswehaveaboutourselves.Ithinkit’sveryhelpfulthatwemeettogetherandwecanatleastknowthereareafewotherpeopleintheworldconcernedwiththesequestions.
Personally,Iamnotveryintocentresandformalisationsbecausetheyoftentendtobeplacesofpoliticsandsoon.Butoneofthepossibilitiesforthefutureistohavemoresenseofaninformalsangha.Ifpeopleliveneareachothertheycanmeetfromtimetotimeanddosomepractice,shareameal,andhaveasenseofnotbeingaloneinthisdeepproject.
IbelieveIamcomingbackagainnextyearsoImayseesomeofyouthen,whenwewillhavesunshineeveryday!
Sylvester:Iwouldliketotakethisopportunitytothankyougreatlyinallofournamesforbringingusonceagainsuchagreatbundleofraysthatilluminatealotoftheviewsandpossibilitiestobepresent.[Applause]
James:Thankyou.