Merry Christmas Charlie Brown

Prelude

Lights come up on Charles Schultz home; Charles is sitting alone at a drawing board, drawing his weekly cartoon strip. Enter Mrs. Joyce Schultz carrying a tray of iced tea.

Joyce: Sparky, oh Sparky, oh there you are. I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever come out of your den. Are you going to work on this project all day? (Schultz head is down and he continues to work, Joyce says louder) SPARKY!

Charles: (Surprised) What? (realizing that he had been lost in thought) You scared me, is there anything wrong?

Joyce: Nothing Charles, I was looking for you, why don’t we get outside and enjoy the sun? It is a beautiful day to waste inside.

Charles: Definitely, I am almost done this week’s strip, it shouldn’t be too much longer. I keep forgetting that you can actually enjoy the sun in the middle of February here in California. You know how cold Minnesota is at this time of the year. You know when we were kids we’d play ice hockey from dawn to dark, and we’d only come home when…

Charles (reminiscently) and Joyce (mockingly) in unison: …our mothers dragged us off the ice!

Joyce (laughing) Charles, you do have a habit of living in the past.

Charles: Well it did seem like a simpler time before the wars, the depression, the….

Joyce: Well Charles, we do need to live in the present and forge out a new path of hope despite what the circumstances say.

Charles: Joyce, you are always right, in fact, I been thinking about a new storyline for the strip: Charlie Brown, our beloved loser, is tempted by Lucy to kick a football. You see Lucy is going to tell him something about “the little engine that could” or something, and Charlie Brown would always believe her, but just before he punts it through the goal post, Lucy pulls it away and we see him flying through the air landing on his back. Lucy will say something biting like, “Charlie Brown, you’re hopeless”. Well what do you think?

Joyce: I think you need to get some sun. Now let’s go please?

Charles: Okay, this can wait. (puts on hat and jacket and starts to walk off the stage when the phone rings)

Joyce: I wonder who that could be?

Charles: I’ll get it. Hello, Charles Schultz speaking.

Claire: Hi Chuck, it’s Claire, I’m in New York and I need to talk to you about A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Charles: Oh hi Claire (covers the receiver with hand and say to Joyce in a loud whisper) It is my agent; she’s in New York right now. (Joyce throws hands in air and flops down in a chair) So what’s the news today Claire?

Claire: Listen Charles, CBS and Warner Bros want the Christmas special but there are some concerns. First, they don’t want to pay you big for this, and they are concerned about some of the content. They also want you to do something about the music, it isn’t child friendly enough. They want glam, lights, and turkey; you know, something that embraces the new idea of Christmas. What do you think?

Charles: Wait a minute! They aren’t happy with the content? What do they want me to do?

1

Joyce: What is wrong?

Claire: They want it to fit into a 30 minute slot that will fit in-between the Munsters and Gilligan’s Island. It’s to be a Christmas special for the family and it will air national this December.

Joyce: What’s going on?

Charles: Well that sounds great Claire, but what do you mean, concerns?

Claire: Well, why don’t I get the studio to call you and you can discuss it with them?

Charles: Okay, that would be great.

Claire: Talk soon, and draw a picture of Snoopy for my niece, she absolutely loves him. Oh, put Woodstock in it as well.

Charles: Sure Claire, talk soon. (hangs up the phone)

Joyce: Charles, what was that about?

Charles: The Christmas program is ready to go, but the studio has some concerns.

Joyce: What kind of concerns?

Charles: I don’t know, but I’m worried.

Joyce: Of all the Charles Schultz in the world, you are the most Charles Schultziest. Hey, what’s your idea anyway? You have done a good job keeping it a secret.

Charles: (overture begins softly and grows, the voice fades into the background as the lights come up on the main stage) Well let’s see, it starts a few days before Christmas and all the children are attending their last day of school for the term when…

Scene One

Song: You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

Lights fade and rise again on St. James’ Elementary School…(9 Chairs are needed on stage)

Class sits down and Peppermint Paddy and Marcie enter and sit at their desk when Miss Othmar calls upon Peppermint Paddy to stand up.

Peppermint Paddy: Yes, Ma’am, …you would like to hear my geography report on the oceans of the world. OK, but I must admit, I don’t understand this first question on what is the largest ocean in the world. Could you be more Pacific? (Pause for response, teacher places hands on hips) Alright ma’am, there are no oceans in Kansas. There are no oceans in Nebraska. There are no oceans in Nevada. There are no oceans in… (Teacher interrupts and Peppermint Paddy looks dumbfounded) What ma’am, everyone knows that already…. Oh, do me a favor, will you, ma'am? Call attendance again, and see if I'm really here! (sits down, turns to Marcie)

Marcie: Oh Sir, I think you have upset the teacher, I hope you be ready for the test?

Peppermint Patty: You can say that again, boy, class can ruin your grade average." No problem, Marcie, what type of test is it anyway?

2

Marcie: Multiple choice, Sir.

Peppermint Patty : Multiple choice? Good! I choose not to take it!

Pig Pen: (Teacher voice is heard as she stands over him, patting him on the shoulder and watching dust fly (Baby Powder) ) Dirty, you think I am dirty, well I have affixed to me the dust and dirt of countless ages...who am I to disturb history?

Charlie Brown: Oh Shermy, we've got ANOTHER holiday to worry about. It seems Thanksgiving Day was just yesterday.

Shermy: I haven't even finished eating all of my Halloween candy!

Franklin: What are you going to do this Christmas Linus?

Linus: My mom, dad, Lucy and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner

Lucy: Why don't you come along, Schroder? We can hold hands under the table.

Schroder: (Turns to audience, and face turns sour) Blah! (Hides head in arms and falls on desk.)

(Enter Sally in a rage)

Sally: A 'C'? A 'C'? I got a 'C' on my coat hanger sculpture?

How could anyone get a 'C' in coat hanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me?

Are you willing to share my 'C'? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coat hanger itself out of which my creation was made...now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coat hangers that are used by the dry cleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my 'C'? (The teachers voice is heard) Thank you, Miss Othmar. (to audience) The squeaky wheel gets the grease! (exits as the lunch bell rings and kids head off for lunch, Charlie Brown grabs lunch bag)

Pig Pen: LUNCHTIME!!!

Frieda: What's the good of having naturally curly hair if nobody's jealous?! People always expect more of you when you have naturally curly hair!

Violet: You know, it's a strange thing about Charlie Brown...you almost never see him laugh

Charlotte: (to Charlie Brown) Can you take a little friendly criticism, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown: Why, of course. I'm not above that sort of thing at all; a little friendly criticism can always be helpful to a person. What is it you wanted to say?

Charlotte: You're hopeless.

3

Paddy: (to Charlie Brown) You will always be miserable! You were born miserable and you will stay miserable! Don't think you're ever going to change because you're not!

Charlie Brown: Rats. Next year I resolve to be a changed person!

Paddy: That's a laugh, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: I mean it! I'm going to be strong and firm.

Frieda: Forget it. You'll always be wishy-washy.

Charlotte: Yeah, Charlie Brown, you’re as wishy-washy as anyone I know!

Charlie Brown: Why can't I change just a little bit? I'll be wishy one day and washy the next!

Linus: (Come onto the stage sucking thumb, looks at it and gets a look of horror) It’s losing its flavor! (runs off stage)

Charlie Brown: (enters with a sack lunch and sits down beside Shermy and Franklin) I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes, mornings aren't so pleasant either. Waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then there's the night, too. Lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all those hours in between when I do all those stupid things. (enter Little Red Head Girl)

Franklin: What do you have for lunch Charlie Brown? Peanut butter? Some psychiatrists say that people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely...I guess they're right. And when you're really lonely, the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Charlie Brown: There's that cute little red-headed girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she would do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her? There's no reason why I couldn't just go over and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up! I'm sitting down. I'm a coward.

Shermy: You are a coward, why should she look at you? (Looks over and sees her glancing at Charlie Brown) Hey Charlie Brown, I think she’s looking at you! No, I know see is looking at you!! (Charlie Brown puts his lunch-bag over his head.)

Charlie Brown: Lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me.

Franklin: Your optimism should be framed, Charles.

Charlie Brown: If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I'm the biggest fool alive.

Franklin: True, but, if she isn't looking at you, then maybe you could take it off quick and she'd never notice it.

Shermy: On the other hand...you can't tell if she's looking, until you take it off!

Charlie Brown: Then again, if I never take it off I'll never have to know if she was looking at me or not. On the other hand...it's very hard to breathe in here. (he removes his sack) Whew! She's not looking at me! I wonder why she never looks at me? Oh well, another lunch hour over with...only 2,863 to go. (Bell rings) Back to class.

(Enter Peppermint Paddy and Marcie as students gather in the background)

4

Peppermint Patty: Guess what, Marcie. Disaster time, our teacher wants us to read a book during Christmas vacation. Got any suggestions?

Marcie: On what book to read?

Peppermint Patty: No! On how to get out of it! I'm not going to have to read a book, Marcy. See? A Tale of Two Cities was just on TV. I watched the movie, so now I won't have to read the book. The only thing I didn't understand the parts about the shampoo, the soap, and the coffee.

Marcie: Those were the commercials, Sir. Sometimes I think you tore all the ligaments in your head

Peppermint Patty: (Charlie Brown walks past Peppermint Paddy and Marcie and the girls stop him) Chuck, I want to apologize for saying that you're a blockhead and wishy-washy and everything. It's not easy for a girl to talk like this to a boy, you know.

Charlie Brown: That is OK Peppermint Paddy, sometimes I am a blockhead.

Peppermint Paddy: Yeah Chuck, you’re not a poor loser, you’re a good loser. You’re so good at losing you should be given a metal.

Charlie Brown: For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life. But there was a flag on the play! (walks toward Lucy and Violet)

Marcie: I think you said that wrong sir.

Peppermint Patty: Kid, I want to ask you something: how come you're always calling me 'sir' when I keep asking you not to? Don't you realize how annoying that can be?

Marcie: No, sir.

Peppermint Paddy: Argggggh.

(Enter Lucy, Violet, Sally, Fredia and other girls)

Lucy – I tell you girls, I don’t believe that Miss Othmar is correct. When she was explaining photosynthesis this morning, she said that it had nothing to do with cameras?

Violet – And how about the time she told us she was in a car pool, huh, she never comes to school wet!

Sally – Sometimes I think adults make things up, like the time she told us about the centimeter. If any centimeters come crawling into this room, I'll step on 'em!

Frieda – I think we should be the teachers, we’d really set the world straight.

Charlie Brown, Franklin, and Linus are sitting and stop to talk:

Charlie Brown: I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel. I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I might be getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.

Franklin: Charlie Brown, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem.

5

Linus: Maybe Lucy’s right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you are the Charlie Browniest.

Song: Christmas Time Is Here (Instrumental Interlude)

SCENE 2

Mail Box moved to front, Snoopy’s Dog house, Psychiatric Stand and sign removed from School door. Cut to Charlie Brown at home, standing at the window watching the snow fall. He puts his coat on and goes outside to check the mailbox he opens and looks in:

Charlie Brown: Hello in there! (Stands angrily next to the empty mailbox) Rats! Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. (Begins walking) I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it? (meets up with Pig Pen and Violet.)

Charlie Brown: Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Violet.

Violet: I didn’t send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: Don’t you know sarcasm when you hear it? (Charlie Brown walks away and comes to a large snowman. Pig Pen appears from behind the snowman, patting snow into place)

Charlie Brown: Pig Pen, you’re the only person I know who can raise a cloud of dust in a snowstorm.

Charlie Brown walks along and stops at Snoopy’s doghouse. A tall pile of bones rises from the dog dish. Snoopy reads a newspaper and occasionally takes a born from the stack and munches it.

Charlie Brown continues walking and meets Schroeder, Patty, Lucy, Sally, and Linus standing in the light snowfall.

Paddy: Try to get snowflakes on your tongue. It’s fun.

Lucy: Mmm. Needs sugar. It’s too early. I never eat December snowflakes. I always wait until January.

Linus: They sure look ripe to me. (All exit except Schroeder and Lucy asCharlie Brown walks over to Lucy’s psychiatric booth. Cut to Schroeder and Lucy

Schroeder (to Lucy): I think you have a customer. (Lucy dashes over to the booth)

Lucy: May I help you?

Charlie Brown digs a nickel out of his pocket and drops it in the can with a “clink”.

Lucy: Boy what a sound. How I love hearing that old money plate, that beautiful sound of cold, hard cash. That beautiful, beautiful sound. Nickels, nickels, nickels. That beautiful sound of plunking nickels. All right, now, what seems to be your trouble?

Charlie Brown: I feel depressed. I know I should be happy, but I’m not.

Lucy: Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you are not too far-gone. I think we’d better pinpoint your fears. If we can find out what you’re afraid of, we can label it. Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hypengyophobia.

Charlie Brown: I don’t think that’s quite it.

6

Lucy: How about cats? If you’re afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia

Charlie Brown: Well, sort of, but I’m not sure.

Lucy: Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is the fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?

Charlie Brown: What’s pantophobia?

Lucy: The fear of everything.

Charlie Brown: (shouts) That’s it! (Lucy is blown off her chair onto the ground)

Charlie Brown: Actually, Lucy, my trouble is Christmas. I just don’t understand it. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down.

Lucy: You need involvement. You need to get involved in some real Christmas project. How would you like to be the director of our Christmas play?

Charlie Brown: Me? You want me to be the director of the Christmas play?

Lucy: Sure, Charlie Brown. We need a director. You need involvement. We’ve got a shepherd, musicians, animals, everyone we need. We’ve even got a Christmas Queen.

Charlie Brown: I don’t know anything about directing a Christmas play.

Lucy: Don’t worry. I’ll be there to help you. I’ll meet you at the auditorium. Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. (Charlie Brown watches Snoopy walk past) It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or cloths or something like that.

Charlie Brown: What is it you want?

Lucy: Real Estate.

They both watch Snoopy walk past carrying a box of Christmas lights and decorations. Charlie Brown follows him. Snoopy begins building a crazy display that covers his doghouse.

Charlie Brown: What’s going on here? (Snoopy hands him a piece of paper) What’s this? (Reading) Find the true meaning of Christmas. Win money, money, money. Spectacular, super colossal, neighborhood Christmas lights and display contest. (Looks up from the paper). Lights and display contest! Oh, no. My own dog’s gone commercial. I can’t stand it!

Charlie Brown throws paper in the air and walks away. Meets Sally who is holding a clipboard and pen.

Sally: I’ve been looking for you, big brother. Will you please help me write a letter to Santa Claus?

Charlie Brown: Well, I don’t have much time. I’m supposed to get down to the school auditorium and direct the Christmas play.

Sally: You write it and I’ll tell you what I want it to say.

Charlie Brown: Okay, shoot.

7

Sally: Dear Santa Claus, how’ve you been? How is your wife’? Did you have a nice summer? I wish it was. I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want.

Charlie Brown: Oh, brother.

Sally: Please note the size and color of each item and send as many as possible. If it seems to complicated, make it easy on yourself Just send money. How about tens and twenties?

Charlie Brown: Tens and twenties? Oh, even my baby sister!

Sally: All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.

Charlie Brown: Good Grief

Fade out.

SCENE THREE

Joyce: Oh Sparky, that is a wonderful story, it is just like Charlie Brown to be a blockhead. Sometimes he reminds me of some other lovable blockhead I know. (nudges Charles Schultz affectionately)

Charles: Well here is the rest, Charlie Brown and Lucy are going to head over to the school auditorium for the first rehearsal when….(phone rings) Oh, that will be the studio, I will get it. Hello

Jon Steel: (Obnoxious and loud) Schultz, is that you, Schultz? Can you hear me? (Looks at receiver) Lousy contraptions, Schultz, its Jon Steel from CBS, listen; I need to talk to you about the Christmas special.

Charles: Sure, I’ve talked to my agent Claire already, what seems to be the problem?

Jon Steel: Listen, we love it, we absolutely love it, that Snoopy and Woodstock, Ha (loud), they get me all the time. But that is beside the point; we want you to make some changes before we give it the final studio approval for air.

Charles: What kind of changes? Jon Steel: Well not many, just the ending, it isn’t what we were looking for.

Charles: What do you mean?

Jon Steel: Well you see, in the day we live, people are looking for connection. People are looking for meaning; people are looking for purpose, so the studio wants you to change the ending from what you have to Charlie Brown actually getting presents and cards from all the Peanuts Gang…. What do you think… a little love note from the Little Red Haired Girl will make everyone shed tears and our ratings will be through the roof!

Charles: Well let me think about it for a day and I will get back to you.

Jon Steel: ‘Think and sink’, that is my motto; today is the day for action. Listen, because I like you, I’ll give you a few hours, but don’t sit on it too long, it has to be done and in the can by next month. I feel this could be a great thing for the studio, huge ratings, huge. (Hangs up)

Joyce: So what do they want you to change?

Charles: (quietly) Everything….

8

Joyce: What do you mean?

Charles: They want me to change the ending, to something that keeps with the modern spirit. They want to turn it into a happy Christmas story, not a message that so many people need to hear. I can’t…no, I WON’T change it.

Joyce: Charles, Charles, slow down. Finish the story for me and I will be the judge of it!

SCENE FOUR

Open to new scene at the auditorium. Kids are all over the stage dancing to jazz music. Cut to Lucy.

Lucy: All right, quiet, everybody! Our director will be here any minute and we’ll start rehearsal.

Pepperment Paddy: Director? What director? Lucy: Charlie Brown.

Violet: Oh, no! We’re doomed!

Paddy: This will be the worst Christmas play ever.

Lucy: Well, if you have that kind of attitude, you will mess up the most important part: the appearance of the Christmas Queen! Alright Schroder, take it away!

Schroeder: Remember, this is a mood piece. We must paint a picture with music and words….and concentrate! Remember... Adagio con brio. (plunk keys)

SONG- Christmas Time

Lucy: Here he comes! Attention, everyone! Here’s our director.

Charlie Brown: Well, it’s real good seeing you here. As you know, we are going to put on the Christmas play. Due to the shortage of time, we’ll get right down to work. One of the first things to ensure a good performance, pay strict attention to the director. I’ll keep my direction simple. If I point to the right, it means focus attention stage right. If I make a slashing motion across my throat, it means cut the scene short. If I make a revolving motion with my hand, it means pick up the tempo. If I spread my hands apart, it means slow down. It’s the spirit of the actors that counts. The interest that they show in their director. Am I right? I said, am I right?

Cut to kids dancing wildly to“Linus and Lucy” music. Charlie Brown picks up a megaphone.

Charlie Brown: Stop the music! All right, now. We’re going to do this play and we’re going to do it right. Lucy, get those costumes and scripts and pass ‘em out. Now, the script girl will be handing out your parts

Lucy walks over Shermy and hands him a script and a costume.

Lucy: You’re the innkeeper.

Shermy: Every Christmas it’s the same. I always end up playing the innkeeper.

9

Lucy walks over to Pig Pen and hands her a script and a costume.

Lucy: Pig Pen, you’re the innkeeper’s wife.

Pig Pen: In spite of my outward appearance, I shall try to run a neat inn.

Lucy walks over to Frieda and hands her a script and a costume.

Lucy: Frieda, you’re a shepherd

Frieda: (Bouncing her curls in her hand) Did the shepherds have naturally curly hair?

Lucy walks over to Snoopy and hands him a script.

Lucy: Snoopy, you’ll have to be all the animals in our play. Can you be a sheep?

Snoopy: Baaaaaa!

Lucy: How about a cow?

Snoopy: Moooo!

Lucy: How about a penguin? (Snoopy walks around with his arms stiffly at his side, making clicking sounds with his feet)

Lucy: Yes, he’s even a good penguin. (Snoopy mugs around, acting our different animals, and sits on top of Lucy’s lap)

Lucy: No, no, no! (Snoopy falls on to the floor)

Lucy: Listen all of you. (Snoopy stands behind Lucy and imitates her as she speaks to the group.)

Lucy: You’ve got to take direction. You’ve got to have discipline! You’ve got to have respect for your director!

Lucy turns around and catches Snoopy making fun of her.

Lucy: I ought to slug you!

Cut to Charlie Brown with the megaphone.

Charlie Brown: All right, all right, script girl. Continue with the scripts.

Lucy walks over to Linus.

Lucy: Linus, you’ve got to get rid of that stupid blanket.

She hands him a script and costume

Lucy: And here, memorize these lines.

Linus: I can’t memorize these lines. This is ridiculous.

Lucy: Memorize it and be ready to recite when your cue comes.

Linus: I can’t memorize something like this so quickly. Why should I be put through such agony? Give me one good reason why I should memorize this.

10

Lucy: I’ll give you five good reasons (She makes a fist, one finger at a time) One, two, three, four, five.

Linus: Those are good reasons. Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it’s getting too dangerous.

Lucy: And get rid of that stupid blanket! What’s a Christmas shepherd going to look like holding a stupid blanket like that?

Linus: Well, this is one Christmas shepherd who’s going to keep his trusty blanket with him.

Linus quickly drapes his blanket over his head.

Linus : See? You wouldn’t hit an innocent shepherd, would you?

Cut to Charlie Brown, trying to hold back his temper. Lucy approaches him.

Lucy: Okay, Mr. Director. The cast is set. Take over.

Charlie Brown: All right. Let’s have it quiet. Places everybody, Schroeder set the mood for the first scene.

Schroeder begins playing “Linus and Lucy” which sets the kids off dancing again.

Charlie Brown: Cut! Cut! No, no, no!

Walks over to Frieda and Pig Pen.

Charlie Brown: Look. Let’s rehearse the scene at the inn. Frieda…

Frieda: This can’t go on. There’s too much dust. It’s taking the curl out of my naturally curly hair.

Charlie Brown: Don’t think of it as dust. Think of it as maybe the soil of some great, past civilization. Maybe the soil of ancient Babylon. It staggers the imagination. You may be carrying soil that was trod upon by Solomon. Or even Nebuchadnezzar!

Pig Pen: Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn’t it?

Frieda: You’re an absolute mess. Just look at yourself.

Pig Pen: On the contrary, I didn’t think I looked that good.

Cut to Charlie Brown and Linus.

Charlie Brown: Sally, come here.

Linus: What do you want her for?

Charlie Brown: She’s going to be your wife.

Linus: Good grief.

Cut to Sally, clapping her hands gleefully, surrounded by hearts. She walks over to Linus and leans her head on his shoulder.

Sally: Isn’t he the cutest thing? He has the nicest sense of humor.

Lucy: Supper break, Supper break…..

11

Charlie Brown: Supper time? What? (Snoopy enters with his dish, kicking it and playing with it.)

Suppertime? Suppertime? Snoopy runs onto the stage dressing in a bowtie and top hat –

SONG: SUPPERTIME

BEHOLD A BRIMMING BOWL OF MEAT AND MEAL.WHICH IS BROUGHT FORTH TO EASE OUR HUNGERBEHOLD THE FLOWING FLAGON MOIST AND SWEETWHICH HAS BEEN SENT TO SLAKE OUR THIRST.

CHARLIE BROWN:Okay there is no need to a big production! Just get down here and eat!

CHARLIE BROWN: All right, now. There’s no time for foolishness. We’ve got to get on with our play.

LUCY: That’s right. What about my part? What about the Christmas Queen? Hmm? Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste? You do think I’m beautiful, don’t you, Charlie Brown? You didn’t answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn’t you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right up. I know when I’ve been insulted. I know when I’ve been insulted!

Lucy turns around a pouts

Charlie Brown: That does it. Now, look. If we’re ever to get this play off the ground, you’ve got to have some cooperation.

Lucy: What’s the matter, Charlie Brown? Don’t you think it’s great?

Charlie Brown: It’s all wrong.

Lucy: Look, Charlie let’s face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.

Charlie Brown: Well, this is one play that is not going to be commercial.

Lucy: Look, Charlie Brown. What do you want?

Charlie Brown: The proper mood. We need a Christmas tree.

Lucy: Hey, perhaps a tree: a great, big, shiny, aluminum Christmas tree. That’s it, Charlie Brown! You get the tree. I’ll handle this crowd.

The group gathers around them.

Charlie Brown: Okay. I’ll take Linus, Peppermint Paddy and Marcie with me. The rest of you, practice your lines.

Lucy: Get the biggest aluminum tree you can find, Charlie Brown. Maybe paint it pink.

Patty: Yeah. Do something right for a change, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown, Linus, Peppermint Paddy, and Marcie walk away

SONG – Little Drummer Boy

12

Cut to Charlie Brown, Linus, Peppermint Paddy, and Marcie walking

Charlie Brown: I don’t know. I just don’t know. Well, I guess we’d better concentrate on finding a nice Christmas tree.

Linus: I suggest we try those searchlights, Charlie Brown.

They enter a Christmas tree lot and Linus knocks on an aluminum tree, making a metallic clinking sound.

Marcie: This really brings Christmas close to a person.

Charlie Brown: Fantastic!

Pan shot of various color trees. Zoom to tiny pine tree on a wooden stand.

Peppermint Paddy: Gee, do they still make real Christmas trees?

Charlie Brown: This little green one here seems to need a home.

Linus: I don’t know, Charlie Brown. Remember what Lucy said? This doesn’t seem to fit the modern spirit.

Charlie Brown: I don’t care. We’ll decorate it and it will be just right for our play. Besides, I think it needs me.

SCENE FIVE

Cut to Schroeder at the piano with Lucy, Paddy, Frieda, Violet, and Charlotte leaning on the far end of the piano.

Schroeder: This is the music I have selected for the Christmas play.

Play’s Beethoven’s “Fur Elise”

Charlotte: What kind of Christmas music is that?

Schroeder: Baytoven Christmas music.

Violet: What has Beethoven got to do with Christmas? Everyone talks about how great Beethoven was. Beethoven wasn’t so great.

Schroeder: (Angry) What do you mean Baytoven (Beethoven) wasn’t so great?

Freida: Did he have naturally curly hair? No, he worn a wig, a man wig

Paddy: He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? Hmm? How can you say someone is great who’s never had his picture on bubble gum cards?

Schroeder Good grief!

Begins to play jazz. Enter Snoopy, who dances around on top of the piano. He keeps dancing after Schroeder stopped playing. Once he realizes the music has stopped and that Schroeder is glaring at them, he blushes and slinks off.

Schroeder begins playing “Fur Elise”

Lucy: Say, by the way, can you play “Jingle Bells”? (Schroeder plays “Jingle Bells” in classical style)

Lucy: No, no. I mean “Jingle Bells.” You know, deck the halls and all that stuff . (He plays with an organ sound.)

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Lucy: No, no. You don’t get it at all. I mean “Jingle Bells.” You know, Santa Claus and ho, ho, ho and mistletoe and presents to pretty girls (He taps out the melody with one finger.)

Lucy: (Shouts) That’s it!

Schroeder is blown of his seat cut to auditorium. Charlie brown sets the tree on top of Schroeder’s piano.

Charlie Brown: We’re back!

The kids gather around, astounded at the sad little tree.

Violet: Boy, are you stupid, Charlie Brown.

Paddy: What kind of tree is that?

Charlotte: You were supposed to get a good tree. Can’ you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?

Violet: I told you he’d goof it up. He’s not the kind you can depend on to do anything right.

Paddy: You’re hopeless, Charlie Brown.

Freida: Completely hopeless.

Charlie Brown: Rats!

Lucy: You’ve been dumb before, Charlie Brown. But this time, you really did it.

Kids and Snoopy laugh.

Lucy: What a tree!

Kids walk away, except for snoopy, who continues to laugh, then exits. Linus approaches Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown: I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldn’t have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. (Unhinged) Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

Linus: Sure, Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about.

Linus walks to center stage, dragging his blanket.

Linus: Lights, please? Auditorium lights dim and spot shines on Linus.

Linus:) And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of the Lord shown around them. And they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, goodwill toward men.”

Linus picks up blanket and exits stage left. He then approaches Charlie Brown.

Linus: That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown picks up the little the little tree and walks out, past the group of quiet kids. Enters the dark outdoors and gazes up at the stars while remembering Linus’ words.

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Charlie Brown: Linus is right. I won’t let all this commercialism ruin my Christmas. I’ll take this little tree home and decorate it and I’ll show them it really will work in our play.

Fade out as Charlie walks into the distance.

Light up on Snoopy’s doghouse

Cut to Snoopy’s crazily decorated doghouse. Charlie brown looks at the 1st Prize ribbon.

Charlie Brown: First prize? Oh, well, this commercial dog is not going to ruin my Christmas!

Charlie Brown happily sets the tree down. Picks an ornament from the doghouse and hangs it on the little tree. Tree slumps way over from the weight of the bulb.

Charlie Brown: I've killed it! (Complete disgust and resignation) Oh, everything I touch gets ruined! (Charlie Brown exits, leaving the sad little tree. Kids enter and gather around the tree.)

Franklin: I never thought it was such a bad little tree. (Linus pulls up the droopy branch, straightens it and wraps his blanket around the base of the tree)

Pig Pen: It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

(Pan to kids, tree and decorated dog house. The kids take ornaments from dog house and decorate the tree, transforming it into a lush, beautiful Christmas tree.)

Charlotte: Charlie Brown is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree.

Enter Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: What’s going on here?

Children: (shout in unison) Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!

Charlie Brown smiles and joins the festivities. Kids sing:

Song: Hark the Heralds Angels Sing

EPILOGUEAs choir sings, the lights come on Schultz’s home as Charles finishes his conversation on the phone.

Charles: Yes Mr. Steel, I appreciate the concerns of the Studio, but I am not compromising on my story. It is a message that I believe in and if you don’t want to air it, fine! But I will not budge, in fact…. What did you say, you like a man with convictions, firm, bold…. Well that is nice Mr. Steel but, don’t change a thing? You’ll take care of it? OK, thanks Jon, I look forward to hearing from Claire before production in the spring.

Charles: Sorry Joyce, I didn’t get a chance to ask you what you thought of the ending.

Joyce: Oh Charles… (she looks like she could burst into tears)

Charles: Joyce, are you OK?

Joyce: It is beautiful, the best story ever.

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Charles: (blushing) Thank you Joyce, you liked the ending?

Joyce: It is the message that so many people need to hear.

Charles: Well Joyce, I figure, if we don’t tell the Christmas story the way it is supposed to be told, than who will? (Lights come up on whole assembly….)

SONG: HAPPINESS

EVERYONE – You’re a good man Charlie Brown

SONG: YOU’RE A GOOD MAN CHARLIE BROWN

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