Michael R. Pozesny (c) 20121 An Introduction to Family Violence – Week 4 Michael Pozesny, PhD...

Michael R. Pozesny (c) 2012 1

An Introduction to Family Violence – Week 4

Michael Pozesny, PhD(ABD) M.Sc.,R-CPCT, CAMS, MRT, POST


Pioneers in Batterers Intervention: Program Models

• EMERGE Model: Blends feminist educational approaches with more intensive group work concerning relationships



• Duluth Model: A feminist educational curriculum



• AMEND Model: feminist educational topics are used in an in-depth intervention addressing batterer psychology and moral development



• Duluth Curriculum: Issues of Power and Control as primary targets


Causal Explanation vs. Restraint Explanation

• CausalWhat causes Jack to abuse his wife?

Why do men abuse women and children?

• RestraintWhat is stopping Jack from taking responsibility to relate with his wife respectfully, equitably, and with sensitivity?

What is stopping Jack from taking responsibility for his abusive behavior?


Characteristics of Men Who Batter

• Skill DeficitsIntrapersonal

Interpersonal

Identification of emotions

Perceptual distortion

Communication Skills


Identification of Emotions

• Assaultive men may be unable to recognize or acknowledge the emotions they feel other than anger.

• Avoidance of emotion may result in their being slow to recognize stress or frustration, allowing it to build until they feel their anger is out of control.


Perceptual Distortions

• Men who assault their partners tend to distort situations cognitively and emotionally to fit their own perceptions of the world and their expectations of themselves and others.


Communication Skills

• Batterers have been described as having difficulty expressing verbally what they think, feel, and want.

• Many batterers may have good verbal skills in some areas such as manipulation. They tend not to use these skills while expressing their feelings assertively.


Defenses

• Psychological defense mechanisms tend to have two main purposes:

To hide the reality of one’s behavior from one’s self

To hide the reality of one’s behavior from others


Defenses

• MinimizationMen minimize their behaviors

Men exaggerate and over personalize the behavior of others

• DenialOutright denial

Denial of intention to deny responsibility


Defenses

• Projection of blame and externalizatonBlame their partners or circumstances for

their violence

Batterers have a tendency to feel that everything was caused by the

outside world


Individual Traits or Personality Characteristics

• Dependency, jealousy, and/or controlling behaviors

Dependency needs tend to create emotional conflicts for the batterer as he is likely to fear real intimacy. Push-

pull.

Extreme jealousy that can be so severe he becomes significantly depressed and clinically paranoid



• Alcohol and/or DrugsThe relationship between battering and

chemicals is complex

Battering is not caused by alcohol and/or drugs. It is caused by a need for

power and control.



• DepressionStudies have reported that depression is a characteristic of assaultive men (Gantley and Harris, 1978 and Sonkin et al, 1985)

Depression in assaultive men tends to be related to the remorse they present on entering treatment



• Low Self-EsteemNot necessarily etiologically related to assaulting one’s partner, but rather that assaulting one’s partner lowers self-esteem

• “Jekyll and Hyde” Characteristics


Situational Characteristics

• Those factors in the environment that might be more or less likely to increase the probability of an assault by a potential batterer who already has some proclivity to abuse his partner



• IsolationPsychological, emotional and social

Tend to distrust others

Afraid of close, intimate relationships

Unable to share their emotions other than anger or rage

Isolate their partners

Isolation tends to increase their dependency on their partners



• StressInternal and external

Batterers have learned to respond to stress with attempts to control others and with violence

Striking out may temporarily reduce stress and he may experience a “psychological high”.



• Status Inconsistence or UnemploymentDifference in skills or status by partner may cause batterer to use violence to demonstrate his ultimate power over his partner.

Loss of income may increase batterer’s stress

Unemployment may be seen as a failure to live up to his status expectations.


Common Characteristics of the Batterer

• Low self-esteem

• Believes in myths about battering relationships

• A traditionalist - stereotypical masculine sex role

• Pathologically jealous

• Presents a dual personality

• Have severe stress reaction - uses AOD to batter and cope

• Blames others

• Uses sex as an act of aggression to enhance self-esteem

• Believes violence should not have negative consequences.


Common Characteristics of Battered Women

• Low self-esteem

• Believes the myths about battering relationships

• A traditionalist about the home

• Accepts responsibility for the batterer’s actions

• Suffers from gilt, yet denies the terror and anger she feels

• PTSD with psychosomatic complaints

• Use of sex to establish intimacy

• Believes no one can help


Why do Women Stay in Abusive Relationships?

• For the childrenMay believe that any father is better than no father at all

She may lose custody of her children or cause emotional or physical harm to her children if she tries to leave



• For financial reasons:She may have no financial resources, access to them, or job skills

If she has children it becomes more difficult to leave without having the ability to get affordable housing, transportation, etc.



• Fear of retaliation:When a woman makes a decision to leave an abusive relationship her chances of being seriously physically hurt or killed increases 75%

Many times she has been told by her partner that if she leaves, her partner will hunt her down and kill her and the children



• Religious reasons:A woman will often stay in an abusive relationsip because of her religious beliefs

If she leaves or divorces her partner her religious community may ostracize her.



• Family pressure:Her partner may have convinced her family that everything is okay in their relationship and that any problems are actually her fault

Her family of origin may have experienced violence, so it may be considered a normal part of relationships.



• She may be told:“You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.”

or

“We’ve never had a divorce in our family.”

so confusion and guilt cloud her logic.



• Love:Often a woman does not want the relationship to end

She loves her partner, she just wants the violence to end

She may believe her love can change her partner’s behavior.



• Age:

Older women may be less likely to take steps to leave an abusive relationship. Violence may have gone on throughout the relationship.

She may have kept the violence secret or hidden.

She is less likely to start over. She may feel isolated from friends and family.



• Isolation:May not have support from friends and family or may be alone.

• Shame:May feel shame about being abused and reluctant to let anyone know abuse is occuring in her relationship.



• Fear of “The System”.May not know who to turn to for help

May fear the court system or may have had a bad experience with the police or others she has reached out to in the past

May have heard stories or learned of system failures such as failed restraining orders resulting in murder



• Denial:She truly may not believe she is being abused. In order to remain in the relationship, she has found ways to explain away the incidents of mistreatment, whether emotional or physical.

She may feel she can handle him and avoid serious incidents.



• No place to go:Her abuser may have succeeded in isolating her from family and friends

May feel she has no place to go and may be embarrassed to ask strangers for help and/or for a shelter if one is available.


Why Men Stay in Abusive Relationships

• Men can be abused also - does not mean they are “wimps”.

• Although situation usually involves mostly emotional abuse, it it is easier - financially -for men to leave.



• Denial:He may feel her abuse is caused by her emotional personality, PMS, or other hormone fluctuations

He decides to ignore her abuse because he loves her and wants the relationship to continue



• Love:

In spite of the abuse, he may find enough good in the relationship to compensate for the abuse.



• Financial:He may stay, not because he wouldn’t be able to support himself, but because of the prospect of paying child support and alimony or dividing the family assets.

He may choose to stay until the children are grown and then leave.



• Fear:While a man may stay out of fear, it is more

often fear of what she will do to herself, rather than what she might do to him.

Abusive women often threaten suicide if her partner leaves.

She may have threatened to make trouble for him at his job.



• Insulation:It may be easier for a man to avoid or

ignore abusive incidents if he has a demanding job or reasons to be away from home regularly

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Michael R. Pozesny (c) 20121 An Introduction to Family Violence – Week 4 Michael Pozesny, PhD...

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