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"Do one thing ... take this piece of chalk ..."
We are a unique species, aren’t we? Not humans. Indians, I mean. No other race speaks or spells like we do.
Take greetings for example.
A friendly clerk asking me for my name is apt to start a conversation with, “What is your good name?” As if I hold that sort of information close to my heart and only divulge my evil self. Bizarre.
I call these Indianisms.
Which got me thinking about a compilation, a greatest hits of the most hilarious Indianisms out there. And here they are. The most common ones, and my favorites among them.
1. 'Passing out'
When you complete your studies at an educational institution, you graduate from that institution.
You do not "pass out" from that institution.
To "pass out" refers to losing consciousness, like after you get too drunk, though I’m not sure how we managed to connect graduating and intoxication.
Oh wait … of course, poor grades throughout the year could lead to a sudden elation on hearing you’ve passed all of your exams, which could lead to you actually "passing out," but this is rare at best.
2. 'Kindly revert'
One common mistake we make is using the word revert to mean reply or respond.
Revert means "to return to a former state."
I can’t help thinking of a sarcastic answer every time this comes up.
“Please revert at the earliest.”
“Sure, I’ll set my biological clock to regress evolutionarily to my original primitive hydrocarbon state at 1 p.m. today."
3. 'Years back'
If it happened in the past, it happened years ago, not "years back."
Given how common this phrase is, I’m guessing the first person who switched "ago" for "back" probably did it years back. See what I mean?
And speaking of "back," asking someone to use the backside entrance sounds so wrong.
“So when did you buy this car?”
“Oh, years back.”
“Cool, can you open the backside? I’d like to get a load in.”
4. 'Doing the needful'
Try to avoid using the phrase "do the needful." It went out of style decades ago, about the time the British left.
Using it today indicates you are a dinosaur, a dinosaur with bad grammar.
You may use the phrase humorously, to poke fun at such archaic speech, or other dinosaurs.
“Will you do the needful?”
“Of course, and I’ll send you a telegram to let you know it's done too.”
5. 'Discuss about'
“What shall we discuss about today?”
“Let’s discuss about politics. We need a fault-ridden topic to mirror our bad grammar.”
You don't "discuss about" something; you just discuss things.
The word "discuss" means to "talk about". There is no reason to insert the word "about" after "discuss."
That would be like saying "talk about about." Which "brings about" me to my next peeve.
6. 'Order for'
"Hey, let’s order for a pizza."
"Sure, and why not raid a library while we’re about it.”
When you order something, you "order" it; you do not "order for" it.
Who knows when or why we began placing random prepositions after verbs?
Perhaps somewhere in our history someone lost a little faith in the "doing" word and added "for" to make sure their order would reach them. They must have been pretty hungry.
7. 'Do one thing'
When someone approaches you with a query, and your reply begins with the phrase "do one thing," you're doing it wrong.
"Do one thing" is a phrase that does not make sense.
It is an Indianism. It is only understood in India. It is not proper English. It is irritating.
There are better ways to begin a reply. And worst of all, any person who starts a sentence with "do one thing" invariably ends up giving you at least five things to do.
“My computer keeps getting hung.”
“Do one thing. Clear your history. Delete your cookies. Defrag your hard drive. Run a virus check. Restart your computer....”
8. 'Out of station'
“Sorry I can’t talk right now, I’m out of station.”
“What a coincidence, Vijay, I’m in a station right now.”
Another blast from the past, this one, and also, extremely outdated.
What's wrong with "out of town" or "not in Mumbai" or my favorite "I'm not here"?
9. The big sleep
"I’m going to bed now, sleep is coming."
"OK, say hi to it for me."
While a fan of anthropomorphism, I do have my limits. "Sleep is coming" is taking things a bit too far.
Your life isn’t a poem. You don’t have to give body cycles their own personalities.
10. 'Prepone'
“Let’s prepone the meeting from 11 a.m. to 10 a.m.”
Because the opposite of postpone just has to be prepone, right?
"Prepone" is probably the most famous Indianism of all time; one that I’m proud of, and that I actually support as a new entry to all English dictionaries.
Because it makes sense. Because it fills a gap. Because we need it. We’re Indians, damn it. Students of chaos theory.
We don’t have the time to say silly things like "could you please bring the meeting forward."
Prepone it is.
There are many more pure grammatical "gems" in what we call Indian English. Perhaps in time I’ll list some more. And perhaps in the near future, we’ll get better at English.
Till then, kindly adjust.
Languages of India.
Language Family
Speakers (in millions, 2001)[2
5] State(s)
Assamese
Indo-Aryan, North Eastern
13 Assam, Arunachal Pradesh
Bengali
Indo-Aryan, Eastern
83 West Bengal, Tripura, Assam, Andaman & Nicobar Islands
Bodo
Tibeto-Burman
1.4 Assam
Dogri
Indo-Aryan, Northwestern
2.3 Jammu and Kashmir
Gujarati
Indo-Aryan, Western
46 Dadra and Nagar Haveli, Daman and Diu, Gujarat
Hindi
Indo-Aryan, Central
258–422[26]
Andaman and Nicobar Islands, Bihar, Chandigarh, Chhattisgarh, the National capital territory of Delhi, Haryana,Himachal
Language Family
Speakers (in millions, 2001)[2
5] State(s)
Pradesh, Jharkhand, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh and Uttarakhand
Kannada Dravidian 38 Karnataka
Kashmiri
Indo-Aryan, Dardic
5.5 Jammu and Kashmir
Konkani
Indo-Aryan, Southern
2.5–7.6[27] Goa, Karnataka, Maharashtra, Kerala
Maithili
Indo-Aryan, Eastern
12–32[28] Bihar
Malayalam Dravidian 33 Kerala, Lakshadweep, Puducherry
Manipuri (alsoMeitei or Meithei)
Tibeto-Burman
1.5 Manipur
Marathi
Indo-Aryan, Southern
72 Maharashtra, Goa, Dadra & Nagar Haveli, Daman and Diu
Nepali
Indo-Aryan, Northern
2.9 Sikkim, West Bengal
Oriya
Indo-Aryan, Eastern
33 Odisha
Punjabi
Indo-Aryan, Northwestern
34 Chandigarh, Delhi, Haryana, Punjab
Sanskrit Indo-Aryan 0.01 non-regional
Santhali Munda 6.5
Santhal tribals of the Chota Nagpur Plateau (comprising the states of Bihar, Chattisgarh, Jharkhand, Odisha)
Sindhi
Indo-Aryan, Northwestern
2.5 non-regional
Tamil Dravidian 61 Tamil Nadu, Andaman & Nicobar Islands, Puducherry
Language Family
Speakers (in millions, 2001)[2
5] State(s)
Telugu Dravidian 74 Andhra Pradesh, Puducherry, Andaman & Nicobar Islands
Urdu
Indo-Aryan, Central
52 Jammu and Kashmir, Andhra Pradesh, Delhi, Bihar and Uttar Pradesh
Many more dialects and sub-dialects are there which are not relevant now.
Mother Tongue Influence On English.
Similarly native speakers of India do not keep away from their mother tongue.
While speaking English, some words in the following sentences reveal the influence of their own regional language: i.e. Kerala Malayalam. Maharashtra Marathi, Gujarat, Gujarati, etc. etc.
Where has ‘ungle’ (uncle) gone?
He has gone to ‘Oofees’. (Office)
Is ‘Anndy’ (Aunty) there inside the house?
No, she has gone to buy some ‘Ooranges’. (Oranges)
Please come in and have a cup of ‘Koofee’. (Coffee)
I hired an ‘ooto’. (Auto)
Where did you ‘werk’ (work) before?
I was there in ‘Thubai’ (Dubai).
Is there any other ‘Gelf’ (Gulf) country you have ‘werked’ (worked)?
Some more examples of words often pronounced with MTI effect are given below:
Lorry Loree
Octopus Ooktopus
“Onion” as “Aanion”, “College” as “Kalledge”, “Lorry” as “Laarry”, “Zero” as “jeero”,
“Office” as “Aafis”, “Doctor” as “Daaktar”, “Lodge” as “Laadge” and “Logic” as “Laagic”.
More examples….
Lodge Loodge
Logic Loogic
Honest Oonest
Hospital Oospital
Xrayettsray
Only wonly
Earn yearn
Money meney
Jumped jembd
World Werld
Simply zimbly
College Koollege
Doctor Dooktor
Onion Oonion
Auto Ooto
Daughter Dooter
Hotel Ootel
When the above mentioned words are considered, it is evident that native speakers of
Malayalam often have some issue with the vowel “O” being pronounced as “Oo” (the long
counterpart of the vowel), the consonant “P” being pronounced as “B” and the consonant “k”
pronounced as “G”. This problem is also faced by Tamilians who pronounce “Auto” as “Aato”,“Onion” as “Aanion”, “College” as “Kalledge”, “Lorry” as “Laarry”, “Zero” as “jeero”
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Tenses= Tension.
The concept of time can be split into:
The Present - What you are currently doing.
I eat, I am eating
The Past - What you did some time back.
I ate, I was eating
The Future - What you will do later.
I will eat, I will be eating
In the English language, tenses play an important role in sentence formation.
The tense of a verb shows the time of an event or action.
There are four types of tenses. Simple, Perfect, Continuous and Present
Perfect Continuous and each of these has a present, past and future form.
PRESENT TENSES
SIMPLE PRESENT TENSE
In Simple Present, the action is simply mentioned and there is nothing
being said about its completeness.
I eat.
I sleep.
I play.
PRESENT CONTINUOUS TENSE
In Present Continuous, the action is on-going/ still going on and hence
continuous.
I am eating.
I am sleeping.
I am playing.
PRESENT PERFECT TENSE
In Present Perfect, the action is complete or has ended and hence termed
Perfect.
I have eaten.
I have slept.
I have played.
PRESENT PERFECT CONTINUOUS TENSE
In Present Perfect Continuous, the action has been taking place for some
time and is still ongoing.
I have been eating.
I have been sleeping.
I have been playing.
PAST TENSES
SIMPLE PAST TENSE
In Simple Past, the action is simply mentioned and understood to have
taken place in the past.
I ate.
I slept.
I played.
PAST CONTINUOUS TENSE
In Past Continuous, the action was ongoing till a certain time in the past.
I was eating.
I was sleeping.
I was playing.
PAST PERFECT TENSE
Past Perfect is used to express something that happened before another
action in the past.
I had eaten.
I had slept.
I had played.
PAST PERFECT CONTINUOUS TENSE
Past Perfect Continuous is used to express something that started in the
past and continued until another time in the past.
I had been eating.
I had been sleeping.
I had been playing.
FUTURE TENSES
SIMPLE FUTURE TENSE
Simple Future is used when we plan or make a decision to do something.
Nothing is said about the time in the future.
I will eat.
I will sleep.
I will play.
FUTURE CONTINUOUS TENSE
The future continuous tense is used to express action at a particular
moment in the future. However, the action will not have finished at the
moment.
I will be eating at 9 a.m.
I will be sleeping when you arrive.
I will be playing at 5 p.m.
FUTURE PERFECT TENSE
Future Perfect expresses action that will occur in the future before another
action in the future.
I will have eaten before 10 a.m.
I will have slept before you arrive.
I will have played before 6 p.m.
FUTURE PERFECT CONTINUOUS TENSE
Future Perfect Continuous is used to talk about an on-going action before
some point in the future.
I will have been sleeping for two hours when you arrive.
I will have been playing for an hour when it is 5 p.m.
What are the Vowel Sounds?
From the 26 letters in the English alphabet, 5 of these letters are used to
make 19 vowel sounds. The other 21 letters are used to make the
25 consonant sounds.
The 19 vowel phonemes consist of:
5 Long Vowels
5 Short Vowels
3 Diphthongs
A long and short oo (2 sounds)
4 ‘r’ controlled vowel sounds
5 Long Vowel Sounds
Here are some examples:
Long /a/ as in gate
Long /e/ as in need
Long /I/ as in nice
Long /o/ as in yoke
Long /u/ as in you
You can also listen to them here:
5 Short Vowel Sounds
Here are some examples:
Short /a/ as in bat
Short /e/ as in bet
Short /I/ as in bit
Short /o/ as in bot
Short /u/ as in but
4 ‘r’ controlled sounds
‘R’ controlled sounds, have a vowel and the /r/ sound:
or – as in more
ar – as in car
er – as in her
air as in fair
3 Diphthongs
A diphthong is a combination of two sounds, each with two different spellings. Here are three examples:
/au/ as in Paul and aw as in crawl /ou/ as in mouse and ow as in cow /oi/ as in noise and oy as in boy
A Long and Short /oo/ sound
Long /oo/ as in moon
Short /oo/ as in book
So there you have it. The 19 vowel sounds. Of course there are many ways
to spell these sounds which we refer to as phonograms.
English Consonant Sounds
Consonant letters and their sounds
The 21 consonant letters in the English alphabet
are B,C, D, F, G, H, J, K, L, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, V, X, Z, and usually W and Y: The
letter Y stands for the consonant [j] in "yoke", the vowel [ɪ ] in "myth" and
the vowel [i] in "funny", and for both consonantal and vowel sounds in
"yummy", for example; W almost always represents a consonant except in
rare words (mostly loanwords from Welsh) like "crwth" or "cwm".
A consonant letter usually represents one consonant sound. Some consonant letters, for example, c, g, s, can represent two different consonant sounds.
Letters Sounds Examples
b [b] baby, best, buy, bring, blind, absent, about, number, labor, robber, tub
c [s] [k]
center, cellar, cigarette, cinema, agency, notice; cake, come, cucumber, clean, cry, scratch, act, panic
d [d] day, dear, die, door, duty, admire, hidden, lady, kind, ride, ended
f [f] fast, female, five, forest, fund, fry, flight, often, deaf, cuff
g [g] [j] [zh]
game, gap, get, go, gun, great, global, giggle, ago, begin, dog, egg; general, gin, giant, agent, suggest, Egypt, energy, huge, manage; mirage, garage, beige, rouge
h [h] [-]
hair, help, history, home, hotel, hunt, behind, inherit; hour, honor, honest, heir, vehicle, Sarah
j [j] jam, Jane, jet, jelly, Jim, jingle, joke, John, June, just
k [k] Kate, kind, kill, kilogram, sky, blanket, break, take, look
l [l] late, let, live, alone, close, slim, please, old, nicely, table, file, all
m [m] make, men, mind, mother, must, my, common, summer, name, form, team
n [n] napkin, never, night, no, nuclear, funny, student, kindness, ton, sun
p [p] paper, person, pick, pour, public, repair, apple, keep, top, crisp
q (qu) [kw] [k]
quality, question, quite, quote, equal, require; unique, technique, antique, grotesque
r [r] rain, red, rise, brief, grow, scream, truck, arrive, hurry, turn, more, car
s [s] [z]
send, simple, song, system, street, lost, kiss, release; cause, present, reason, realism, advise, always, is, was
t [t] task, tell, time, tone, tune, hotel, attentive, student, boat, rest
v [v] vast, vein, vivid, voice, even, review, invest, give, move, active
w [w] wall, war, way, west, wind, word, would, swear, swim, twenty, twist
x [ks] [gz] [z]
exercise, exchange, expect, ex-wife, axis, fix, relax; exam, exact, executive, exert, exist, exit, exult; Xenon, Xerox, xenophobia, xylophone
z [z] [ts]
zero, zoo, horizon, puzzle, crazy, organize, quiz, jazz; pizza, Mozart, Nazi, waltz