Mindfulness Mindfulness Soul Medicine for Client and ClinicianSoul Medicine for Client and Clinician
William C. Hale, PhD, LICDC-CSWilliam C. Hale, PhD, LICDC-CSGlenbeigh HospitalGlenbeigh Hospital
Today We Will…Today We Will…
Explore the principles of mindfulness and its therapeutic Explore the principles of mindfulness and its therapeutic value for our clients and ourselves.value for our clients and ourselves.
Learn to recognize situations in which mindfulness Learn to recognize situations in which mindfulness interventions may be effective in therapeutic practice, and interventions may be effective in therapeutic practice, and explore how and when to introduce them.explore how and when to introduce them.
Develop a basic repertoire of mindfulness exercises which Develop a basic repertoire of mindfulness exercises which can be used with our clients and ourselves. can be used with our clients and ourselves.
What is Mindfulness? What is Mindfulness?
Rooted in Buddhism – Adopted by andRooted in Buddhism – Adopted by and adapted to western adapted to western medicine and psychotherapy.medicine and psychotherapy.
It is used to address many physical and psychological issues.It is used to address many physical and psychological issues.
It is not considered a technique as much as a It is not considered a technique as much as a way to live.way to live.
Mindfulness is a way of Mindfulness is a way of doing, doing, and aand a way of way of being…being… In the World – With Others – With Events – With OurselvesIn the World – With Others – With Events – With Ourselves
When being mindful, you do not have to respond in any When being mindful, you do not have to respond in any other way. Mindfulness is in itself its own response other way. Mindfulness is in itself its own response It is a It is a responseresponse … not a reaction. … not a reaction.
What is Mindfulness? What is Mindfulness?
Paying attention to what is happening: Paying attention to what is happening:
In your immediate experience (Here & Now)In your immediate experience (Here & Now) Deliberately (On purpose)Deliberately (On purpose) Without Judgment (Just allowing the experience)Without Judgment (Just allowing the experience)
‘‘The direct experience of experiencing’The direct experience of experiencing’ ‘‘Awareness of your awareness’Awareness of your awareness’
Kanji Symbol for MindfulnessKanji Symbol for Mindfulness 念 念 niannian
Composed of two characters:Composed of two characters:
jinjin 今 (here / present)(here / present)
xinxin 心 (heart)(heart)
Experiencing the present moment with your heartExperiencing the present moment with your heart
Why Mindfulness? Why Mindfulness?
Most often we try to live in impossible places:Most often we try to live in impossible places: The Past (Re-living Past Experiences & Emotions) The Past (Re-living Past Experiences & Emotions) The Future (“Pre-living” - Attempting to Predict & Control)The Future (“Pre-living” - Attempting to Predict & Control) Neither past nor future exist…except in our minds. Neither past nor future exist…except in our minds.
We tend to behave as We tend to behave as habit machineshabit machines on auto-pilot. on auto-pilot. Rarely do we pay attention to Rarely do we pay attention to what we are experiencing now.what we are experiencing now. As a result, we forfeit our present awareness and miss so much.As a result, we forfeit our present awareness and miss so much.
Mindfulness brings us back into our lives Mindfulness brings us back into our lives now. now. It allows us to experience the reality of life – that is only the present. It allows us to experience the reality of life – that is only the present. It helps us to see that the present is okay to experience.It helps us to see that the present is okay to experience.
Uses and Benefits of MindfulnessUses and Benefits of Mindfulness
Mindful attention and nonjudgmental awareness have Mindful attention and nonjudgmental awareness have been associated with cognitive and emotional wellbeing, been associated with cognitive and emotional wellbeing, work satisfaction and less burnout in therapists and those work satisfaction and less burnout in therapists and those in other professions. in other professions.
Mindfulness can increase a sense of self-efficacy, self-Mindfulness can increase a sense of self-efficacy, self-compassion, autonomy, and empathy. compassion, autonomy, and empathy.
It and been effective in addiction relapse prevention, pain It and been effective in addiction relapse prevention, pain management, and the treatment of depression and anxietymanagement, and the treatment of depression and anxiety
ReperceivingReperceiving
Reperceiving is a “meta-mechanism” in which there is a Reperceiving is a “meta-mechanism” in which there is a shift in perspective. We can witness and be involved, shift in perspective. We can witness and be involved, without being engulfed. without being engulfed. (Shapiro et al, 2006(Shapiro et al, 2006) )
““The first realization in “meditation” is that the The first realization in “meditation” is that the phenomena contemplated are distinct from the mind phenomena contemplated are distinct from the mind contemplating them.” contemplating them.” (Goleman, 1980)(Goleman, 1980)
One fully experiences what is being mindfully perceived, One fully experiences what is being mindfully perceived, but not but not identifyingidentifying with it. with it. I am I I am I and and it is itit is it. I can be . I can be close to it and fully aware of it without becoming it. close to it and fully aware of it without becoming it.
Mindfulness promotes connection, while maintaining Mindfulness promotes connection, while maintaining boundaries.boundaries.
Mindfulness in DBTMindfulness in DBT
Dialectical Behavior Therapy – Developed for treatment of Dialectical Behavior Therapy – Developed for treatment of Borderline Personality DisorderBorderline Personality Disorder
Blends Western (CBT) and Eastern thought Blends Western (CBT) and Eastern thought
4 ‘Modules’ which use Principles of:4 ‘Modules’ which use Principles of: AcceptanceAcceptance Distress ToleranceDistress Tolerance Interpersonal EffectivenessInterpersonal Effectiveness MindfulnessMindfulness
Mindfulness integrates Mindfulness integrates ‘Emotional Mind’ ‘Emotional Mind’ and and ‘Reasonable Mind’ which ‘Reasonable Mind’ which results in the creation ofresults in the creation of ‘Wise Mind‘Wise Mind’ ’
‘‘What’ Mindfulness SkillsWhat’ Mindfulness Skills
ObserveObserve Notice and be fully present with whatever it isNotice and be fully present with whatever it is
DescribeDescribe Convey what you have observedConvey what you have observed
ParticipateParticipate Engage completely in what you are doing nowEngage completely in what you are doing now
‘‘How’ Mindfulness SkillsHow’ Mindfulness Skills
Non-judgmentallyNon-judgmentally No opinion of ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘right’, ‘wrong’, etcNo opinion of ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘right’, ‘wrong’, etc
One-MindfullyOne-Mindfully What you are doing is What you are doing is allall you are doing you are doing
Effectively Effectively Focus in a way that works for you – but focusFocus in a way that works for you – but focus
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Goal is to live your life effectively Goal is to live your life effectively with with your internal experience.your internal experience.
Applies mindfulness principles to memories, present thoughts and Applies mindfulness principles to memories, present thoughts and feelings, allowing them to be present without trying to avoid them – feelings, allowing them to be present without trying to avoid them – stressing that they are not reality – they come and go, and have only stressing that they are not reality – they come and go, and have only the power one gives them through self talk/judgment.the power one gives them through self talk/judgment.
We can observe thoughts and feelings without We can observe thoughts and feelings without becomingbecoming them. We are them. We are not our experiences – we simply not our experiences – we simply havehave our experiences. our experiences.
Once internal experience is accepted, the goal is to move on and act in Once internal experience is accepted, the goal is to move on and act in accordance with one’s identified values.accordance with one’s identified values.
Similar to managing cravings in relapse prevention: Allow the craving Similar to managing cravings in relapse prevention: Allow the craving to be present and accept it, then engage in something else which to be present and accept it, then engage in something else which supports the recovery process. supports the recovery process.
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Reduction of stress can be achieved by mindfully allowing/accepting Reduction of stress can be achieved by mindfully allowing/accepting
the stressor/symptoms to be present without judgment or attempt to the stressor/symptoms to be present without judgment or attempt to change/remove it.change/remove it.
Eight - Week program combining mindfulness, yoga and meditation Eight - Week program combining mindfulness, yoga and meditation to address a variety of medical and psychological conditions. to address a variety of medical and psychological conditions.
Used as a complimentary treatment in various settings in managing Used as a complimentary treatment in various settings in managing chronic pain, heart disease, hypertension, cancer, and other chronic pain, heart disease, hypertension, cancer, and other disorders. disorders.
Acceptance of one’s condition can help manage the condition by Acceptance of one’s condition can help manage the condition by reducing stress associated with it.reducing stress associated with it.
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) is based on this Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) is based on this modality, but used primarily to treat depression. Allowing modality, but used primarily to treat depression. Allowing unwanted thoughts/feelings associated with depression can dispel unwanted thoughts/feelings associated with depression can dispel the suffering around themthe suffering around them
Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention (MBRP)Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention (MBRP)
Developing awareness of personal triggers (stimuli) and Developing awareness of personal triggers (stimuli) and reactions to them (responses) and learning to pause in order reactions to them (responses) and learning to pause in order to create a new relationship with discomfort. to create a new relationship with discomfort.
Learning to change how we relate to emotional and physical Learning to change how we relate to emotional and physical discomforts around addictions, and creating more adaptive discomforts around addictions, and creating more adaptive ways of responding to them. ways of responding to them.
Approaching ourselves and our experiences (past and Approaching ourselves and our experiences (past and present) without judgment, and with compassion. present) without judgment, and with compassion.
Creating a new lifestyle which includes mindfulness in the Creating a new lifestyle which includes mindfulness in the tools of recovery. tools of recovery.
The Common Threads The Common Threads throughout throughout
DBT, ACT, MBSR, MBCT & MBRP?DBT, ACT, MBSR, MBCT & MBRP?
Nonjudgmental Acceptance of the experience. Nonjudgmental Acceptance of the experience.
Active Awareness of what simply is.Active Awareness of what simply is.
Allowing without demanding.Allowing without demanding.
Therapy is not necessarily about removal of Therapy is not necessarily about removal of unpleasant experience, but can be about learning unpleasant experience, but can be about learning to live more comfortably with what to live more comfortably with what is. is.
Mindfulness simply changes how we perceive, Mindfulness simply changes how we perceive, thereby changing our experience…thereby changing our experience…
Mindfulness is not a cure – it’s better… Mindfulness is not a cure – it’s better… Elisha Goldstein Elisha Goldstein
Mindful practice allows us to be present in our situation Mindful practice allows us to be present in our situation without judgment or attribution of negativity. without judgment or attribution of negativity.
Our negative experiences allow us to recognize positive Our negative experiences allow us to recognize positive ones. They are our points of comparison by which we ones. They are our points of comparison by which we identify differences in life. identify differences in life.
EquanimityEquanimity
Equanimity is a spacious, vast, and even state of mind. It does Equanimity is a spacious, vast, and even state of mind. It does not take sides. It’s not about being untouched by the world, not take sides. It’s not about being untouched by the world,
but letting go of fixed ideas. How else are we to develop but letting go of fixed ideas. How else are we to develop compassion and loving-kindness for everyone and compassion and loving-kindness for everyone and
everything? Equanimity levels the playing field. We are not everything? Equanimity levels the playing field. We are not excluding anyone from our practice. excluding anyone from our practice.
Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche
The steady state of mind with or without stress.The steady state of mind with or without stress.Responding to all things equally. Responding to all things equally.
Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes...Alan WattsZen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes...Alan Watts
Beginner’s Mind Beginner’s Mind (Shoshin)(Shoshin)
Attitudes of:Attitudes of: OpennessOpenness EagernessEagerness CuriosityCuriosity Willingness Willingness
Absence of Preconceived NotionsAbsence of Preconceived Notions ‘‘Tabula Rasa’ stance Tabula Rasa’ stance ““I know” means “I I know” means “I assumeassume I know” I know” Much would be missed if we assume thisMuch would be missed if we assume this
As Thinker, Observe Your ThoughtsAs Thinker, Observe Your Thoughts
I used to think my brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. I used to think my brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this… Then I realized who was telling me this… Emo PhillipsEmo Phillips
When you find yourself getting wrapped up in your thoughts, When you find yourself getting wrapped up in your thoughts, creating any negative emotion, step back and observe your creating any negative emotion, step back and observe your own thinking mindfully.own thinking mindfully.
You are simply the thinker – creator of the thoughts. You are You are simply the thinker – creator of the thoughts. You are NOT your thoughts. NOT your thoughts.
Thoughts are not facts. We change them, or they will change Thoughts are not facts. We change them, or they will change on their own. The stream of consciousness is ever flowing. on their own. The stream of consciousness is ever flowing.
Don’t believe everything you think…Don’t believe everything you think…
We can observe our thoughts without assuming them We can observe our thoughts without assuming them to be reality beyond our own mental process.to be reality beyond our own mental process.
We can own them simply as our thoughts, not as We can own them simply as our thoughts, not as truth.truth.
Practice Practice discernmentdiscernment…… Separate your Separate your thoughts thoughts from your from your affectaffect and and behaviorbehavior
Again…allow them to Again…allow them to be be without judging them… We without judging them… We can simply learn from them. can simply learn from them.
As Feeler, Observe Your FeelingsAs Feeler, Observe Your FeelingsMindfully Allow Them AllMindfully Allow Them All
The same is true of our emotions. When we are mindful of The same is true of our emotions. When we are mindful of our emotions, we can ‘step back in order to step in’. our emotions, we can ‘step back in order to step in’.
We simply allow the feelings to be there. We are NOT our We simply allow the feelings to be there. We are NOT our feelings. We are simply the observer of an internal feelings. We are simply the observer of an internal phenomenon. phenomenon.
Just as our thoughts, our feelings are not facts. They change.Just as our thoughts, our feelings are not facts. They change.
They are simply events in the day, as all other events . They are simply events in the day, as all other events .
Mindfully Feeling Mindfully Feeling
Feelings are sacred. Feelings are sacred.
They affirm our humanity. They affirm our humanity.
They affirm our being alive. They affirm our being alive.
For many people in early recovery, feelings are being For many people in early recovery, feelings are being experienced for the first time in a long time – or ever. experienced for the first time in a long time – or ever.
Regardless of what they are – including panic attacks or Regardless of what they are – including panic attacks or excruciating cravings – they can be tolerated. excruciating cravings – they can be tolerated.
The more in touch we become with them, the more The more in touch we become with them, the more freely and openly we can welcome and allow them to be.freely and openly we can welcome and allow them to be.
Any EventAny Eventis an invitation to mindful practiceis an invitation to mindful practice
Old habits of perception and reaction are automatic.Old habits of perception and reaction are automatic.
Mindfulness begins in recognizing our natural tendency to Mindfulness begins in recognizing our natural tendency to react in any situation in ways which may not work well.react in any situation in ways which may not work well.
We can always choose how we are going to be with our We can always choose how we are going to be with our experience and restructure our frame of awareness through:experience and restructure our frame of awareness through:
Dis-identification Dis-identification Re-perceivingRe-perceiving Mindful DetachmentMindful Detachment
When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change... When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change... Wayne DyerWayne Dyer
Mindfulness & Anxiety / Panic Mindfulness & Anxiety / Panic One is a great deal less anxious if one feels perfectly free to be anxious… A One is a great deal less anxious if one feels perfectly free to be anxious… A lan Watts lan Watts
Fear of having a panic attack increases the likelihood that the Fear of having a panic attack increases the likelihood that the next one will occur…and catastrophizing it makes it worse.next one will occur…and catastrophizing it makes it worse.
Self-talk about the attack can be changed.Self-talk about the attack can be changed.
Mindful awareness of the anxiety is a ‘behavioral experiment’ .Mindful awareness of the anxiety is a ‘behavioral experiment’ .
A person can invite and allow the experience – without judging A person can invite and allow the experience – without judging or initially attempting to relieve it.or initially attempting to relieve it.
One notices and learns from feelings and thoughts about the One notices and learns from feelings and thoughts about the panic, and how they can modulate it in either direction. panic, and how they can modulate it in either direction.
We can learn to tell ourselves: “As long as I am breathing, there We can learn to tell ourselves: “As long as I am breathing, there is more right with me than wrong with me.”is more right with me than wrong with me.”
Mindfulness & DepressionMindfulness & Depression For chronic or seasonal depression, uncouple the For chronic or seasonal depression, uncouple the experienceexperience from one’s from one’s
definition of definition of selfself. .
YouYou have have depression – you are not the depression. You have depression – you are not the depression. You have feelings feelings of of worthlessness/hopelessness/etc. You worthlessness/hopelessness/etc. You are not are not worthless/hopeless/etc. worthless/hopeless/etc.
The same with negative cognitions – you are simply having negative thoughts The same with negative cognitions – you are simply having negative thoughts – they do not have to be your reality. – they do not have to be your reality.
Practice loving kindness toward self. Do not judge or deride yourself Practice loving kindness toward self. Do not judge or deride yourself because of the depression. because of the depression.
Identify small, simple activities which can distract, reframe, empower, and Identify small, simple activities which can distract, reframe, empower, and do them do them mindfullymindfully. Seek the FLOW experience – even if in a very small way . Seek the FLOW experience – even if in a very small way (Engagement, Mastery, Connection) (Engagement, Mastery, Connection)
Help someone remember that even this experiences changes. Help someone remember that even this experiences changes.
Mindfully Allowing Anger: Non-reactivity Mindfully Allowing Anger: Non-reactivity
Notice your anger and how you want to act/speak at this moment. Do Notice your anger and how you want to act/speak at this moment. Do not act on it at this time.not act on it at this time.
Notice your ‘demands’ or ‘shoulds’ being placed on the object of anger Notice your ‘demands’ or ‘shoulds’ being placed on the object of anger that are not being met. that are not being met.
Pay close attention to other feelings that may be present with the anger – Pay close attention to other feelings that may be present with the anger – especially fear if it is present.especially fear if it is present.
Notice breathing – heartbeat – any other physical feelings – and how Notice breathing – heartbeat – any other physical feelings – and how these may be different from your normal state.these may be different from your normal state.
Then Ask: How do I normally breathe? Would that be better for me Then Ask: How do I normally breathe? Would that be better for me now? Would I like to feel calmer? Where do I want the locus of my now? Would I like to feel calmer? Where do I want the locus of my control to be right now? control to be right now?
Notice your breathing and pulse beginning to slow naturally, just from Notice your breathing and pulse beginning to slow naturally, just from your own awareness and reflection. (your own awareness and reflection. (Doing Calm)Doing Calm)
The Power of the Pause The Power of the Pause
Mindfully Allowing Cravings in RecoveryMindfully Allowing Cravings in Recovery
A craving is no different from any other subjective event. It A craving is no different from any other subjective event. It comes…it goes…and can simply be experienced.comes…it goes…and can simply be experienced.
For people struggling with addiction, these events can be extremely For people struggling with addiction, these events can be extremely powerful and powerful and seemingly seemingly overwhelming. overwhelming.
Observing the Experience (Urge-Surfing)Observing the Experience (Urge-Surfing) Notice the feelings associated with the urge – physical sensations and Notice the feelings associated with the urge – physical sensations and
emotions.emotions. Notice the thoughts that arise in response to the urge – desire to drink/use, Notice the thoughts that arise in response to the urge – desire to drink/use,
desire to maintain sobriety and continue recovery, judgment of self for having desire to maintain sobriety and continue recovery, judgment of self for having them…just notice without responding.them…just notice without responding.
Notice your initial behavioral response Notice your initial behavioral response preferencespreferences – then notice how those – then notice how those preferences change as you allow the urge just to be.preferences change as you allow the urge just to be.
Remember the 3 Axioms of Cravings Remember the 3 Axioms of Cravings for Persons in Recoveryfor Persons in Recovery
Cravings can never Cravings can never makemake someone do anything. someone do anything. The The responseresponse to cravings is always one’s to cravings is always one’s choicechoice..
Cravings can be very Cravings can be very uncomfortableuncomfortable – but they are – but they are never unbearable. never unbearable. Their “unbearability” is a product Their “unbearability” is a product of the craver’s judgment of them (which leads to of the craver’s judgment of them (which leads to reactivity to them).reactivity to them).
Cravings willCravings will always pass. always pass. Like everything else, they Like everything else, they are simply events in the day.are simply events in the day.
Just for today…Just for today…
Recovering chemically dependent persons know that they Recovering chemically dependent persons know that they can only stay sober one day…one decision at a time. can only stay sober one day…one decision at a time.
Goals for lifelong sobriety can be made, but the only way Goals for lifelong sobriety can be made, but the only way they are reached is working with what life presents to any they are reached is working with what life presents to any person right now. person right now.
Remaining in this day – in this moment without thinking Remaining in this day – in this moment without thinking about how long one can/will remain sober allows sobriety about how long one can/will remain sober allows sobriety to be lived now. Time no longer matters. to be lived now. Time no longer matters.
Mindfulness & Physical PainMindfulness & Physical Pain
Each condition I flee from pursues me. Each condition I welcome transforms me… Each condition I flee from pursues me. Each condition I welcome transforms me… Jennifer Paine WelwoodJennifer Paine Welwood
Pain is experienced with suffering and is exacerbated by negative Pain is experienced with suffering and is exacerbated by negative appraisals of the sensation. appraisals of the sensation.
This results in anxiety, anger, sadness, and other emotional This results in anxiety, anger, sadness, and other emotional reactions, along with perception of the pain being worse. reactions, along with perception of the pain being worse.
The perceiver ‘braces’ for the sensation, The perceiver ‘braces’ for the sensation, expecting expecting suffering, which suffering, which leads to more suffering. leads to more suffering.
Mindful allowing and describing of the sensation helps reinterpret Mindful allowing and describing of the sensation helps reinterpret the experience and lessen suffering. the experience and lessen suffering.
It uncouples the link between sensation and appraisal of the It uncouples the link between sensation and appraisal of the experience experience → → creating opportunity for a new response. creating opportunity for a new response.
Perceiver learns that one’s life is not the pain - although the Perceiver learns that one’s life is not the pain - although the sensation is real, mastery of the sensation is real, mastery of the experience experience is possible.is possible.
Mindful EatingMindful Eating When you eat, who is truly hungry? When you eat, who is truly hungry?
Your stomach/body?Your stomach/body? Your emotions?Your emotions?
Learning to be aware of your thoughts and feelings around Learning to be aware of your thoughts and feelings around eating is as integral to eating as the action of eating itself. eating is as integral to eating as the action of eating itself.
We rarely (if ever) are present with our food and eating. We rarely (if ever) are present with our food and eating.
Taking time for each step in the process:Taking time for each step in the process:
Seeing » Choosing » Touching » Smelling » Placing »Seeing » Choosing » Touching » Smelling » Placing » Tasting » Chewing » Swallowing » FollowingTasting » Chewing » Swallowing » Following
Experiential Avoidance is the Source of SufferingExperiential Avoidance is the Source of Suffering
Pain is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional… Pain is Inevitable. Suffering is Optional… Buddhist ProverbBuddhist Proverb
LifeLife with all it brings is the norm…not happiness. with all it brings is the norm…not happiness.
Pleasure and comfort, while very real when present, Pleasure and comfort, while very real when present, are nonetheless fleeting. are nonetheless fleeting.
Embracing the “Full Catastrophe” of Life – letting Embracing the “Full Catastrophe” of Life – letting life just be what it is - results in peace.life just be what it is - results in peace.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…change…
Radical AcceptanceRadical Acceptance(Est quod est)(Est quod est)
Allowing and accepting…rather than resisting… all Allowing and accepting…rather than resisting… all circumstances life brings us. circumstances life brings us.
Each experience is simply another life experience… Each experience is simply another life experience… not to be experienced with anger, fear or judgment… not to be experienced with anger, fear or judgment… but just to be experienced as part of life. but just to be experienced as part of life.
We can simply go through anything life gives us with We can simply go through anything life gives us with peace and serenity. It does not mean we have to want peace and serenity. It does not mean we have to want it, like it, or condone it – we just accept it. it, like it, or condone it – we just accept it.
Always remember……est quod est…… Always remember……est quod est…… it is what it isit is what it is..
EmbracingEmbracing is more powerful than Resisting is more powerful than Resisting
Allow yourself to see any experience as a Allow yourself to see any experience as a gift. gift.
Here is the gift of sadness. What can I learn about myself Here is the gift of sadness. What can I learn about myself from this gift of sadness?from this gift of sadness?
Here is the gift of anger. What can I learn about myself Here is the gift of anger. What can I learn about myself from this gift of anger?from this gift of anger?
Here is the gift of fear. What can I learn about myself from Here is the gift of fear. What can I learn about myself from this gift of fear?this gift of fear?
While you did not invite it into your life, it is here. So how While you did not invite it into your life, it is here. So how do you want to reframe it?do you want to reframe it?
Being With Others…Mindfully Being With Others…Mindfully “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the
soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.”soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” ― ― RumiRumi
Regardless of our therapeutic orientation or field of expertise, Regardless of our therapeutic orientation or field of expertise, allowing ourselves just to be fully present with the person we strive to allowing ourselves just to be fully present with the person we strive to help without defensiveness or agenda can enhance the relationship. help without defensiveness or agenda can enhance the relationship.
Loving-kindness Loving-kindness
Equanimity Equanimity
Non-JudgmentNon-Judgment
We break old connections between stimulus, perception, judgment, and We break old connections between stimulus, perception, judgment, and reactions …and reconnect with new awareness and heart. reactions …and reconnect with new awareness and heart.
We connect…but do not become.We connect…but do not become.
We learn to respond to others and with others rather than to react. We learn to respond to others and with others rather than to react.
Loving Kindness MeditationLoving Kindness Meditation
If you really resent someone, pray for them for a while and see what happens… If you really resent someone, pray for them for a while and see what happens… AA SayingAA Saying
Practice of opening the heart to love, empathy and Practice of opening the heart to love, empathy and compassion - while reducing anger, fear and stress.compassion - while reducing anger, fear and stress.
Similar to Similar to Acting Opposite Acting Opposite in DBT when loving kindness is in DBT when loving kindness is directed toward those feared or resented.directed toward those feared or resented.
First object in loving kindness practice is First object in loving kindness practice is oneself. oneself.
When practiced regularly, it can improve attitudes toward When practiced regularly, it can improve attitudes toward self and others.self and others. May May be safe. be safe. May May be healthy. be healthy. May May have ease of body and mind. have ease of body and mind. May May be at peace. be at peace.
Practicing What We Preach:Practicing What We Preach:We can only share what we have. We can only share what we have.
When the therapist is practicing mindfulness as a way of life When the therapist is practicing mindfulness as a way of life and a way of therapy.and a way of therapy.
The therapist approaches the client in a different way. The therapist approaches the client in a different way. Mindfulness is embodied in the relational field, and modeled Mindfulness is embodied in the relational field, and modeled silently and subtly. silently and subtly.
The therapist shares part of him/herself, rather than merely The therapist shares part of him/herself, rather than merely trying to instruct. trying to instruct.
This leads to more effective therapy. Being and doing with the This leads to more effective therapy. Being and doing with the client are far more effective than ‘telling’. client are far more effective than ‘telling’.
Simply being present with others may be the most important Simply being present with others may be the most important factor in helping them to heal. factor in helping them to heal.
Mindfulness of Mindfulness Mindfulness of Mindfulness
Beginners try to be mindful of their mindfulness Beginners try to be mindful of their mindfulness Am I doing this right?Am I doing this right? I I have to have to focus on just what is here right now.focus on just what is here right now. What is here now is your awareness of your awareness.What is here now is your awareness of your awareness.
Do not judge yourself for this Do not judge yourself for this Simply acknowledge it and bring attention back onto Simply acknowledge it and bring attention back onto
the experience of that moment.the experience of that moment. Part of that experience can be your judgment of / Part of that experience can be your judgment of /
frustration with the process.frustration with the process.
Allowing Distraction as Part of the ProcessAllowing Distraction as Part of the Process
Distractions in the field of awareness are simply part of the Distractions in the field of awareness are simply part of the experience. experience.
Trying to ignore the distraction or force it out of your mind Trying to ignore the distraction or force it out of your mind will only give it more of your attention. will only give it more of your attention.
Acknowledge it, and accept your thoughts/feelings about it. Acknowledge it, and accept your thoughts/feelings about it.
Invite it in and just let it be. Invite it in and just let it be.
This allows you to refocus on the primary object of your This allows you to refocus on the primary object of your mindful awareness. mindful awareness.
Mindful Acceptance in the AA Big Book Mindful Acceptance in the AA Big Book
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person,
place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — place, thing or situation — some fact of my life —
unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I
accept that person, place, thing or situation as being accept that person, place, thing or situation as being
exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Alcoholics Anonymous (4Alcoholics Anonymous (4thth ed.) , pg 417 ed.) , pg 417
Thoughts on MindfulnessThoughts on Mindfulness
Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment… immediate moment… Alan Watts Alan Watts
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the now the primary focus of your life… the now the primary focus of your life… Eckhart Tolle Eckhart Tolle
Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment. Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment. Every moment is the guru… Every moment is the guru… Charlotte Joko BeckCharlotte Joko Beck
I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major
component of mental wellness… component of mental wellness… Abraham Maslow Abraham Maslow
