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Monsey: 25 Robert Pitt Drive• Suite 207 Monsey NY, 10952 Phone: (845) 517-4347 Fax:(845) 517-4348...

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lssue 76/Tishrei 5776 Hand in Hand Graduating Infertility Good…Bad…Do We Really Know? 10 26 16 A Sweet New Year
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lssue 76/Tishrei 5776

Hand in Hand

Graduating Infertility

Good…Bad…Do We Really Know?

10 2616

A Sweet New Year

Monsey:25 Robert Pitt Drive• Suite 207

Monsey NY, 10952Phone: (845) 517-4347

Fax:(845) 517-4348E-Mail: [email protected]

Florida:305-260-6377

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Support Services Advisory BoardProgram DirectorT����������H�����d�C/���Event CoordinatorT�����������J��/�>>

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Tabl

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Con

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sTable of Content

A TIME was founded in memory of:������������� ����������������������� �������

EditorialLetter from the Editor 4Mailbox 6Timeline 8

ChizukHand in Hand 10Good…Bad…Does Anyone Really Know? 16Pain with Purpose 18

Chizuk from WithinUnchanged 22Here to Stay 24Graduating Infertility 26Mama Rochel 28The Cheerleaders 30Milestones 32Uncalled For 34Of Trials and Triumph 36

SupportYom Tov Dos and Donts 38The Seven Stages 40Shared Journey 41

Shabbaton CoverageThirteenth Annual Weekend Retreat 42

MedicalDemystifying IVF success rates 46DHEA Beneficial 48How Important Sleep in Fertility? 50Tips to Make Your Blood Draw Easier 52

HumorHow Often Do You Think About Infertility? 54

ForumsConnection with Hashem – Is He Waiting for Me? 56A Million Times More 61

Yiddish Section 69-90

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83

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Letter from the Editor

Dear Readers,The Yemei Ratzon are bittersweet

days. There’s honey upon our palates and hope in our hearts. There’s a bitter taste of regret, and an accumulation of tears from a year of pain and heartache. We celebrate the joy of being Banim l’Makom and exulting in His Chagim and His Torah. And yet, our bitter, searing pain spills forth in our tears and our prayers.

Why do we dip the apple in honey on Rosh Hashana? One of the reasons is brought by Reb Yaakov m’Melitz. He explains that the word ��� – honey – is �������� the words ��������� �������, that Hashem should hide our tears in a holder. We ask Hashem to collect our sobs, our cries, and our tears-shed and unshed- from the entire past year and from the ��� ����. Surely as He collects our tears, they will fill up the cup, overflow, and abolish the bitterness from our lives.

In fact, when we dip the apple in the honey, it is customary to say, ����������������������������� Why do we need the double expression of a “good year” and a “sweet year?” Isn’t it enough to simply ask for a good year?

We know that Hashem does only good. Everything that occurs, and everything we are dealt with is good for us, as tragic as it may sometimes seem. So we ask Hashem that our year should not only be good – which everything ultimately is – but sweet, too. That He sweeten the judgment and the goodness He grants us be wrapped in sweetness.

May Hashem collect all our tears and heartfelt tefillos, and may this bittersweet time of year lead to a shana tova umisuka.

The Editors

Dear Readers,The Yemei Ratzon are bittersweet

days. There’s honey upon our palatesand hope in our hearts. There’s a bittertaste of regret, and an accumulation of tears from a year of pain and heartache. We celebrate the joy of being Baniml’Makom and exulting in His Chagim and His Torah. And yet, our bitter,searing pain spills forth in our tears and our prayers.

Why do we dip the apple in honey onRosh Hashana? One of the reasons is brought by Reb Yaakov m’Melitz. He explains that the word ��� – honey – is�������� the words ��������� �������, that Hashem should hide our tears in a holder. We ask Hashem to collect our sobs, our cries, and our tears-shed andunshed- from the entire past year andfrom the ��� ����. Surely as He collectsour tears, they will fill up the cup, overflow, and abolish the bitterness from our lives.

In fact, when we dip the apple in the honey, it is customary to say, ����������������������������� Why do we need the double expression of a “good year” and a “sweet year?” Isn’t it enough to simply ask for a good year?

We know that Hashem does only good. Everything that occurs, and everything we are dealt with is good for us, as tragic as it may sometimes seem. So we ask Hashem that our year should not only be good – which everything ultimately is – but sweet, too. That He sweeten the judgment and the goodness He grants us be wrapped in sweetness.

May Hashem collect all our tears and heartfelt tefillos, and may this bittersweet time of year lead to a shana tova umisuka.

The Editors

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Editorial

Dear A TIME,

Although we are still on our unsuccessful jour-ney (so far) to having a first child, we wanted to express our deep Hakoras Hatov for everything that A TIME has done for us to ease much of the

pain and stress along the way.

In the last 2 plus years or so, we have availed of many of A TIME’s services that we didn’t know existed or that we would need, but have saved us so much heartache.

The arduous journey has been made so much more bear-able by the work of you and your wonderful team.

There are a number of people we wanted to thank per-sonally for all their efforts on our behalf:

 1)     Devoiry, who helped arrange hashgacha for all our IVF procedures, with great sensitivity, and of course the amazing Mashgichos who were discreet and there when-ever we needed them.

2)     Aron and Zissy Neustad, from your insurance team who worked tirelessly to appeal our denied insurance claims, and were able to get back much-needed funds for us that we did not expect to ever see again.  We gave up on it but they did not, and were extremely matzliach on our behalf.

3)     Mrs. Chaya Kar and Mrs. Vivienne Moskowitz, who made arrangements for someone to come to our house to draw blood on Shabbos when that was needed for our IVF treatment. When our first doctor told us that they would need me to come in on Shabbos we were completely panicked, until the doctor told us to contact A TIME with this; we had no idea! We got in touch late Friday afternoon, and A TIME was amazing in ensuring

Mai

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that someone would be at our door early Shabbos morning to draw blood! This is a program we used many times afterwards.

4)     Most recently on Shavuous, Mrs. Yehudis Grun-wald, who helped us through the darkest of all times, when dealing with the horrible loss of our first preg-nancy, including making arrangements for Chevra Kadisha which was a huge help for us and something we could not do ourselves….emotionally.

People who B”H that have no experience with infer-tility don’t even know that these services are needed or exist-we had no idea ourselves until we were in that position.

Your organization fills a need that is profound, and helps people through the darkest of times. Tizku L’Mitzvos…may you and your staff be zoche to con-tinue to fill this unbelievable need for as long as peo-ple need them.

We would like to provide this donation to A TIME in honor of all the people mentioned above, and will do our best to continue to help you help all the people dealing with this unbelievable nisayon,

May you continue to go M’Chayil-L’ Choyil

Warmest Regards,

N.S.

Dear A TIME,

Thank you to a wonderful organization. After suffering with vulva vestibulitis for more than 6 years...getting this ad about the

upcoming conference you’re having really hit home. BH I can say it’s a few months behind me now...and I hope to never have to deal with it again be”H. I was a patient of Dr. Coady for nearly two years until she became sick and was no longer practicing...Dr. Coady was an amazing doctor and a tremendous source of emotional support to both me and my husband. I saw Miri Friedman as well...a wonderful therapist.So I just want to say thank you for doing something so beneficial for the many women out there...I’ve tried to help a few women myself through my many years and many, many different methods of cure that I’ve been through. This conference is something I needed seven years ago! Hatzlochah with your wonderful work.

T.R.

Dear A TIME,

I went to the center for retrieval this week and was handed a most beautiful breakfast/brunch…and later I got this beautiful box

with delicious food for supper. There are no words in the dictionary to say thank you...tizku L’mitzvos!

A.M.

Mid-Atlantic Region:(410) 3947074

����������������������� Baltimore • Washington • Virginia • Delaware

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England:�����������������������

!������"�#�$%&Phone: 44-208-800-2153

Fax: 44-208-211-1773������������������� ��'

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T •ITimeline

Dear Friends,As we embark on this new year, a chance for a new

beginning, I urge you to never give up on your dreams. This can be the year!

It has been twenty-one years now, and B”H, we have seen so many dreams come true.

Just the inception of the organization is a reminder that Hashem can do anything.

I can still close my eyes and experience the loneliness of not having anyone to turn to through the maze of infertility. It took years of perseverance and a solid mission - and of course, Hashem’s help to bring us where we are today.

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•M •E •L •I •N •EB”H, today you are not alone!

A team of extremely experienced, knowledgeable and caring people in A TIME can help you in many ways. Don’t hesitate to call; it can shorten your journey substantially. There is no question too small or concern too big for us to tackle.

Thirteen years ago, the dream of a Shabbaton for couples going though infertility became a real and very and cherished weekend away. It is truly life-altering.

This years A TIME weekend retreat was described by the attendees as “amazing.” It truly was. Aside for the stunning décor, fabulous food, and thought-provoking speeches, what can never be conveyed in words is the feeling felt all Shabbos. It was an awesome combination of achdus, caring, and feelings of liberation, excitement and feeling completely understood .

The amount of work and financial cost can only be covered by a group that really understands the importance of the weekend. I’d like to extend a special thank you to the many wonderful people that made this very special dream an absolutely unforgettable experience.

All the ATIME programs and services are designed just for you! Make that call; it can literally change your life. Join a phone group, meet at a Rosh Chodesh event, log onto the A TIME forums, meet with a medical expert, order Shabbos food, call our advocates…Let us help you in so many ways to bring you closer to celebrating a new beginning!

May all your dreams come true this year,To the greatest year ever,And may all your Tefillos be answered.

Davening for you,Brany Rosen

Director of Member Services,SH

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By: Y. RoitenbargChizuk

S e a s o n a l T h o u g h t s – T i s h r e i 5 7 7 6

HandINHandOn a very windy day, a little girl and her father were

crossing over a long, narrow suspension bridge, which hung high over a steep, rocky canyon. They could hear the thunderous crashing of a waterfall cascading between the rocks, and deep down below, they could see a fast-flowing, gushing river. The father, who was somewhat afraid of heights, turned to his small daughter, and in a trembling voice he asked her, “Please hold onto my hand tightly so that you should not fall into the river.”

While the little girl stretched out her hand to take her father’s grasp, she looked up into his eyes and said softly, “No, Daddy. You hold my hand.”

“What’s the difference?” asked the puzzled father.

“There is a big difference,” replied his small daughter. “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, I might leave go of your hand. But if you hold my hand, I know with certainty that no matter what happens, you will never let go of my hand.”

Kol ha’olam kulo gesher tzar me’od. In life, we find ourselves on a narrow, shaky bridge; sometimes in frightening, precarious situations. At times, there is a deep abyss and gaping vacuum; so vast, it threatens to swallow us. We try to keep our balance and as we do so, we desperately feel the need to find someone, anyone, who can grasp our hand and grasp the enormity of the struggles and challenges we face. There is some measure of relief when we find that we are not alone, when we meet others; either friends or sometimes even strangers who soon become our understanding, loyal companions. We reach out to

give each other a hand and clasp tightly onto one another. We offer each other support on a grueling route fraught with excruciating challenges.

It is comforting to walk hand in hand with others who are also teetering on the same narrow bridge, who with a mixture of courage and fear are braving similar storms. As the strong winds blow, together we endeavor to remain steady on our feet and steadfast in our faith. The deep valley frightens us, but it also serves to deepen our friendship and strengthen our faith. The rocky valley is terrifying, but it also forces us to display rock-like faith and offer each other rock-like support. United, in both pain and aim, it is easier to battle the storms and navigate our way, while we struggle to steadily scale high above the abyss that fills our hearts and lives. (As ATIMERS, we experience this firsthand and can attest how true this is, and how incredibly helpful and necessary a support system is. On the arduous path of infertility, the strenuous route is more bearable, because we have the support of ATIME and each other.)

In life every person requires a Yedid ���� – a friend with

whom he can share his joys, fears, struggles

and triumphs. The word ���� is

comprised of two

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words – ������. It is a combination of the word �� twice. A true friend is one who holds our hand through the ups and downs of life, who is there to encourage and strengthen us when the going gets rough. Interestingly, the numerical value of the word ���� is 28, corresponding to the numerical value of the word ��. Hand in hand, and with the encouragement of a true and loyal friend, we are infused with the strength to persevere, making it so much more manageable to cope, rise and move onward.

No matter how many Yedidim and close friends we have, there is only one Yedid upon Whom we can rely at all times. Hashem is our Yeidid Ne’eman; and in fact one of Hashem’s names is ������� Yedidy-h. As we cross the bridge of life, with its many twists, turns, challenges, obstacles and complexities, we not only reach out to hold Hashem’s Hands, we turn to Him, sometimes tearfully and sometimes fearfully begging Him to hold tightly onto us. We know He is the Nosen layoef koach, the source of all our strength. As we battle storms and struggle to maintain our stability, Hashem imbues us with strength. When we are dangling over a steep rocky incline, Hashem is our Rock of support. No matter what life thrusts at us, Hashem never leaves go of us. Held in His Yad Chazakah we do not fail, fall or falter. We draw upon inner reserves of courage, find the wherewithal and staunch faith, not only to endure, but even to grow and scale to unimaginable heights.

At all times and especially in trying times we are held by Hashem. It says:

�� ����������������� ���������������������������� ���When a Yid is in trouble, he should know Hashem is the merciful Av Harchaman and He will not allow us to weaken (Devarim 4:30-31).

On these words Rashi says: �������������������� ����

Hashem will not leave go of us. He will hold onto us with His Hands. He will even hold us in His Hands.

There is a well-known fictional story of a man who dreamed that he was walking along the beach. Scenes of his life flashed before him, and for every scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. There were his own footsteps and the footsteps of G-d Who accompanied him throughout. The man looked back at all the footprints in the sand, and he noticed that many times along the path of his life there was

only one set of footprints. He also realized that this always occurred at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him. He pondered and he wondered: why during the most troublesome times of his life was there only one set of footprints? He cried out questioningly, “Why did You leave me precisely when I needed You most?”

And he received an unbelievable response. “My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

Sometimes we look back in life, and we don’t know how we persevered through unimaginable trials, disappointments, setbacks and failures. There is only one plausible answer. Alone, it would have been unattainable, but held in Hashem’s embrace, we were braced with incredible strength and the impossible became possible.

Perhaps at times, when we are tried and tested, we too wonder and cry out; Keli Keli lamah azavtani?

“Why have I been forsaken? Where is the other set of footprints? Where is the gentle Hand of the loving Av Harachaman?”

Like the man in the story, we also question, probe and search for a satisfying answer.

Perhaps the answer lies in Hashem’s name - Yedidy-h, which contains Shem Hashem and is a combination of the two words Yad Yad. It conveys a powerful and comforting message. It reminds us that we are Hashem’s Yedidim, His precious and beloved children. Even if at times, it feels like Hashem is using His Hand to strike us, always at the very same time, He doles out tremendous strength and simultaneously with His other Hand, He compassionately strokes us.

Alone, it would have been unattainable,

but held in Hashem’s embrace, we were braced with incredible strength

and the impossible became possible.

Hashem m wiwilll nnoto lleaeaveve ggoo ofof uuss. HHe e wiw ll hold d onononntotot uus s wiwiththth HHiss Hanndsds.. HHe wwiw llll eveveen hold d usu inin HHisss HHanandsd .

ses arrchchh ffffororoor a a a s ssataatiisssisisfyfyyfyinnng g ananswswwwererrr. ...

PePeeeerhrhrhr apappss s s tthththhe eee e ananannnnswswswswerererer ll l lieieieies s ininini HHHHHHasasshehem’m’m’s s ss nanamemem - -- Y Y Yedede ididy-y-y h, whwhhiccichh h cococontntntaiaiaiaia nsns ShShSShemmemm HHHHHHHHHaasasasasaaa hhhehemmmmm aaa andndndndnd iii iisss a a aa cocooc mbmbmbinninnnatatatata ioioioion n ofof ttttheheheheeeheheee twtwt o wowordrds YaY d d YaYaddd. IIIIItt tt cococcococoonvnvnnvnvnvnveyeyeyyeyeyssss ss aaaaa aa a popopopooweweweeeweerffrrfrffullllulul aaa aanddddndndnd cccc ccommommomomomommmfofofofoffofofoortrrtrtrttrtrtttrtiininininininggg g g gmememem ssssage.e It reminds usus t thahat t wewe a aarere HHasashehem’m’s s YeYeY didiididid mmmmm, , ,, HHHHHiiisiiisi prprprrececececioioioiousus a andn beloved chih ldldreren.n. EEveven n ifif a at t titimem s, it t fefeeelels s likee HHHasasasashehehehem m isis usingg His Hand tot strtrikike e uusus, , allalwawayys aaat the very sasasameme time,e, HHe e dodoleless ouout t trtremendodousus strtrenengtg h h annd dsisimumuultltttananana eoeoeousuusllyly wwitith HHis other Hand,d He coompppassisiono atele yststststrookekes s usus.

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A parent sometimes has to take a child for an uncomfortable, difficult or painful medical procedure. There are times when a child must be given a bitter or sour tasting medication. With one hand the parent will cajole and even force the child to swallow the bitter medicine, but with the other hand he will affectionately stroke the child’s cheek, expressing his love for the child and assuring him that he is doing this not to make his life bitter but in order to make him and his life better.

Hashem is our loving and merciful Father – our Av Harachaman. The Hebrew words ��� � ��� have the numerical value of 306 which is the identical numerical value of the word ��� - honey. Honey is derived from a bee which is known for its bitter, painful and unpleasant sting. Sometimes with our limited vision, we feel a sharp sting and perceive certain circumstances as difficult, painful or bitter. However, when we realize that every single situation in our lives comes from Hashem our loving, merciful Father, it must be sweet, as sweet as, or even sweeter than honey. In the third meal on Shabbos, many of us sing a beautiful, emotionally-charged song that expresses this sentiment;

Yedid Nefesh Av Harachaman………..ye’erav lo yedidosecho menofes tzuf vechol to’am. Our close relationship with Hashem Who is our Yedid Nefesh is far sweeter than even a honeycomb that is oozing with honey.

On Rosh Hashanah we eat honey, signifying that we want a sweet new year, but at the same time we internalize the message that even when things don’t feel so sweet, we recognize that they come from our loving Av Harachaman. Even when He has to dispense a bitter pill, at the same time, He strokes our other cheek. He softens the blows, reminding us that He is the source of all sweetness.

On Erev Yom Kippur there is a very emotional moment when parents bentsh their children; Vihi ratzon milifnei avinu shebashomayim…………..yiten lecho banim uvanos

tzadikim vetzidkoniyos….

On this special day when parents bentsh

their kinderlach we turn to

our Tatte

in Himmel and plead with Him to bentsh us. As we step into the holiest day of the year, our merciful, loving Father Yedidy-h places both of His hands over our heads. He sees those with empty, silent homes, those who have no children of their own, to bentsh, cradle, kiss or raise leTorah lechuppah ulemaasim tovim . He sees our tears, understands our fears - and He knows the deepest desires of our hearts. He hears as we cry out beseeching Him to answer our heartfelt tefillos. We hope Hashem will shower us with his bountiful

blessings - vesikosev vesechosem lechaim tovim vearuchim.

On Yom Kippur, the holiest night of the year, Shuls are crowded and haunting tunes pierce the Heavens and our hearts. The pages of our machzorim are drenched and tear-stained. During Maariv the Aron Hakodesh is opened and the Chazan melodiously sings a beautiful, uplifting Piyut.

Ki hineh kachomer beYad hayotzer……………ken anachnu BeYodcho….. We are likened to clay in the hand of the potter. Hashem is not only holding, carrying and caressing us, but in His expert Hands we are skillfully being molded, shaped, fashioned and designed. It hurts to be punched like clay. We cry out in pain, and Hashem assures us that He is doing this for a purpose. He is molding us into what He knows we can become.

Ki hineh kahegeh beYad hamalach………..ken anachnu beYodcho…..We are likened to an anchor in the hands of the sailor. The sea of life is stormy. On the choppy waters, with high, fast and furious waves crashing all around us, we are in Hashem Hands. He is holding us, directing us and keeping us securely anchored.

Ki hineh kayeriah beyad harokem………..ken anachnu beYodcho…..We are compared to curtains, that are intricately stitched, in the hands of the skilled embroiderer. The craftsman repeatedly pricks the material with a sharp-pointed needle. Threads are stretched and knotted as he designs elaborate patterns. So many knots and challenges are woven and interwoven into the fabric of our lives. We do not understand why we have to be pricked and prodded, but we know, there is a point and a purpose, and that we can only see parts of the Designer’s unfinished, intricate a tmasterplan.

Even if at times, it feels like Hashem is using His Hand to strike us, always at the very same time, He doles out tremendous strength

and simultaneously with His other Hand, He

compassionately strokes us.

tzadadikikimim v vvveeeetziziddkonniiyos….

OnOnn tthihis s sppececiaial l daday y wwhwhenen p parents bebentntshsh

their kik nderrlalachchwe tururn to

ouour Tatttee

cacan onnlyly seee ppparts of tht e Designgnerer ss unfififiniishstmtmasastet rplalan.n

,hheded inintrtricicatata ee aahheded, ini trtricicatate e a a

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Ki hineh kakesef beyad hatzoref…….ken anachnu beYodcho……We are compared to silver in the hands of the silversmith who removes the impurities by holding the silver in a hot flame. How it burns to be held in such a hot spot, but Hashem is a silver refiner, He does not want to harm us. His intent is to purify us, so that we shine resplendently like polished silver.

Hashem wants to make us and our lives better, not bitter. Hashem is shaping and molding us, refining and purifying us. Every single situation and everything that occurs is BIRTZOSO - according to His will. Sometimes we experience anguish and agony, but there is always purpose to the pain. He is the Av Harachaman, and even though it hurts and we cry out in pain, there is the underlying sweetness of Ken anachnu BEYODCHO. We are not only being held in Hashem’s Hands, we are being shaped and molded into better people. In His Upper Hands, we rise and grow upward.

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are followed by the Yom Tov of Sukkos, when we are instructed to leave our comfortable homes and move into small, humble huts. We sit under the open skies, with little protection but fortified with stalwart faith. We feel secure, for we know we have the best shelter; we are in Hashem’s Hands. He protects us, blesses us and holds us. Sukkos teaches us that sometimes we have to forego and relinquish some of the comforts, blessings and amenities we had hoped to have in life. By leaving the secure haven of our homes, Sukkos brings home to us, on a practical level, this fundamental lesson. So long as we have Hashem’s protection, life is sweet, for everything Hashem does is sweet, good and for our good. We know our Father is caressing us, holding us in His Yod Chazokoh, and instilling us with strength and courage - Hashem oz le’amo yiten. On Sukkos we ask Hashem to embrace us in His Zeroa Netuyah; be’tzel kenofecho tastireinu. When we happily reside and live in our small, temporary, exposed huts, we are

actually announcing and confirming that we believe the most secure place to be is in Hashem’s Hands, and with His support and in His embrace we can embrace our challenges.

We have been Hand-picked for an exceptionally challenging role. We cry out, Avinu Malkeinu malei

yadeinu mibirchosecho; longing and hoping to be the recipients of shefa bracha. We yearn to hold our own precious bundles of nachas and while we wait, we try to successfully rise to our challenges, so as to give our Father nachas. We know we are Yedidy-h’s cherished, precious child, about whom He says, Haben Yakir Li. Held in our Father’s strong Hands and loving embrace, we feel His gentle touch, and thus even the bitter and painful times hold a touch of sweetness. Even when at times, we feel as though we are hanging fearfully and tearfully over the rocks, we understand that in His Hands we are being gently rocked, cradled and embraced.

We try to do our best with what life hands us. We ask Hashem to guide and direct us on the narrow bridge of life. We put our trust in Him and our hands in His. We put our problems in His Hands, and we ask Him to hand us bracha vehatzlacha bechol ma’aseh yadeinu. We yearn to be the beneficiaries of His generous and bountiful blessings; Rav keYad Hamelech. (Esther 1: 7)

Hashem holds our hands, He holds our tears and He holds us close as we pour out our hearts, streaming in tefillah. He knows of the dreams we hold in our hearts, and we know that He Who holds our hands is the One Who holds our future, so we clutch tightly onto His outstretched Hand and with a mixture of love and tears we plead;

���������������� ��������������������

�������������������

Sukkos teaches us that sometimes we have to

forego and relinquish some of the comforts, blessings

and amenities we had hoped to have in life.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I hold the Hand of He Who does.but I hold the Hand of He Who does.

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The sun dips lowAs the candles castA shimmering glow

The world is bedeckedRobed in white

As the candles reflectA soul in flight….

Dearest PereleYour soul ascends

TranscendsThe mundane

Soars over valleys and hillsOver procedures and pills

Over trials and tribulationsYou’re over the journey…

But NO!Your soul has a missionFor we have a petition

We need you to beA liaison

An arbitratorA ��� ���To beseech

To begTo express the pain

Of our ups then downs yet again

To pleadTo prayAs up, up in the heavenly domainA loyal A T.I.M.E’r you remain

We knowThat nowAs you revelIn being near Hashem’s throneLife’s difficult equationsHave been resolvedWhats, whens and whysHave been solvedQuestioning and confusionHave been neatly dissolvedAs a brilliant clarityHas now evolved…

���� ��� ��� ������ � ����� ������ ����May we merit to blessMay we merit to exultDespite uncertainty and fearWhilst we have time down here

May we merit to glorifyMay we merit to praiseUntil the coming of Moshiach Speedily in our days!

������������� �

���

Chizuk

On November 23, 2015, I will be celebrating my 225th month anniversary. Although the doctors have given

up hope on us having our own biological children, a Yid never gives up. So even though I may think I have given up at times, the spark remains and rears its flame every so often.

I once purchased a book entitled From the Maggidim of Yesteryear (published by Artscroll). I read a few parsha thoughts in one sitting and was able to connect two topics that I probably would not have connected had I read just the parsha of that week.

In the first point, Rov Sonnenfeld points out that Yaakov and Esav were supposed to be born five years later than they actually were. However, due to the davening of Yitzchak and Rivka, Hashem allowed them to be born five years earlier. (The amazing power of tefillah!) Additionally, it is well known that Avraham Aveinu was niftar five years earlier than he was supposed to so that he would be spared

the anguish of seeing Esav go off the derech.

Rov Sonnenfeld correlated these two incidents for an amazing, yet frightening outcome. Hashem answered Yitzchak and Rivka, and because He gave them what they wanted when they wanted it (even though it was not in

the original plans), and it had a domino effect of Avraham being niftar earlier than originally planned. Just think about it. What could be better than Yitzchak and Rivka

having children? Yet, had Yitzchak known that he would lose his father earlier as a result, he probably would have gladly waited those extra five years. The loss of five years of Avraham Aveinu was a tremendous loss for the world that could not be returned. It is such a powerful concept; from good can come bad.

As a side point, just to digress a little, a person might be asking the age-old question of hishtadlus versus bitachon. A friend once explained her thoughts on the matter,

Although the doctors have given up hope on us having our own biological

children, a Yid never gives up.

Chizuk

Good… Bad… Does Anyone Really Know?

By: L. HurwitzSH

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elaborating that we need to do our hishtadlus with the understanding that Hashem can do anything and does not need our hishtadlus to accomplish that which we seek. However, this might be the avenue in which He chooses to answer us. We know each person has a different level of bitachon, and it affects the amount of hishtadlus he needs to do. Even though Yitzchak and Rivka taught us the power of davening, it could be they were on the level of bitachon that they could have waited.

I take heart from the fact that what I view as good might really not be good. For example, I want to have a child. However, I can truthfully say that I do not want to have an Esav. Who is to say that my child will be as perfect as I think he or she will be? With all the painful experiences a person can go through, perhaps my not having children is a good thing for me. It does not mean I stop trying, but I can take comfort in knowing Hashem knows what is truly good and will only do what is best for me. After all, I do not want something good to end up bad.

Going back to the book, forty-two pages later, a speech by Rabbi Yaakov Galinsky was given over. He spoke about the self-sacrifice of Leah to Rachel. I never really thought about it in this perspective until I read what Rabbi Galinsky said. When Leah was expecting her seventh child she asked Hashem to give her a girl so that her sister, Rochel, would not have one tribe less than the maidservants, and subsequently had Dina. I had never considered that she gave up the zechus to have another shevet so that her sister would not be embarrassed. Rabbi Galinsky goes on to say that one would then expect a child born from such self-sacrifice to marry the “best boy” in Yeshiva Shem v’Aver. (OK, my own addition. Rabbi Galinsky said to get the choice husband.) However, what happened? She was taken by Shechem and had Osnas. To shorten the events a little, Osnas ended up in Mitzrayim and married Yosef. Their children, Efraim and Menasha, were given a bracha from Yaakov that they would be like Reuven and Shimon to him. Rabbi Galinsky crystallized the whole sequence of events by stating, “Leah began with giving up one shevet. She behaved with self-sacrifice and could not foresee the consequences. It looked like she was given a blow but in

the end, she received a double share.” By not forcing things and waiting patiently, Rabbi Galinsky felt one could witness wonders. From bad can come good.

He continues by quoting a Mishnah that states one must bless the bad

just like he blesses the good. He elaborated this concept by quoting a Rambam. When a person looks at things in the present it may look bad, but in the future this bad thing might have actually been for the good. Therefore, it is really impossible to know what is considered good and what is considered bad.

Another interesting thought I recently had on this Leah and Rochel incident was that they both sacrificed for the other. Rochel gave up her chance to marry Yaakov and have the twelve shevatim so that Leah wouldn’t be embarrassed, and Leah gave up on behalf of Rochel to spare her embarrassment. What happened from that

sacrifice? Leah’s granddaughter ended up marrying Rochel’s son and both got a double portion. Neither one lost out in the end.

Just as there are twelve shevatim and thus many different ways to

serve Hashem, perhaps this concept can also be applied here. No two people are exactly alike. For some, being very emotional and davening from the heart is the best way for them to fulfill their hishtadlus. For others, going from doctor to doctor and leaving no stone unturned is their way of doing hishtadlus. Then there are yet others that have the belief that when Hashem wants it to occur, it will happen and nothing can change it. Some need a combination of two, some need all three, and most people have it in different degrees.

Underlying everything has to be the understanding of gam zu l’tova. To us, things may seem good or seem bad. However, only Hashem knows why anything truly occurs and in a reality that we are too limited to understand, the good and the bad are all only for our good. This is something to remember when we once again daven to Hashem on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, a time when we remember the past and look forward to the future. �

������������������������������������

Hashem can do anything and does not need our

hishtadlus to accomplish that which we seek.

I take heart from the fact that what I view as good might really not be good.

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Chizuk

By: Rafi Rabinowitz

���� ��� writes in ���, d״…�� �� �� '� �����

Hashem is close to the brokenhearted.” How are we to

understand Hashem’s closeness to this specific population?

What does it mean? We find a similar concept during the

����� ��. There exists a closeness which is not present

any other time of the year. Many explanations are offered,

but perhaps one more can be added.

It is well known, as an individual commits an ����, they

in turn distance themselves from �"���. There is a

relationship we have with Hashem, one that is unique to

the Jewish people. We are the ��� ��� ���� ���� and

Hashem is our king, our father. As we pursue His ��� and

perform His ��� we are attaching ourselves to Him,

thereby developing an eternal connection to our Creator.

As the �� ��� writes, the ��� are the vehicle with

which we are able to accomplish “�� �����” and to build

that relationship. An individual who commits an ����

pulls away from this union. ��� allows the person to

return to Hashem, to come back and reclaim this

connection, perhaps making it stronger than it had

previously been.

The ����� �, the days of ���� and the ����� ��, present days in which Hashem is especially close to us. They are days in which Hashem temporarily looks past our ����. He momentarily ignores the distance which we have created due to our ���� and comes as close to us as He would have been had we not committed the ����. If one opens his/her heart to the � ��� of the ���, one can actually feel this closeness. Such an experience can enable us to search further for such feelings, propelling us to do ��� and allowing us to attain such a level on a more permanent basis. This is the tremendous ��� Hashem provides us with during the ����� �. It is a time in which we have the ability to reach out to Hashem and experience that relationship despite our ����.

This could explain the ���� we mentioned earlier as well. ���� ��� is telling us, when we find ourselves in despair, in turbulent times, we have the same opportunity like that of the ����� �. Hashem is close to those who are broken-hearted. He is near to us despite our actions, despite our shortcomings. Although we have not chosen to be placed in the situation we find ourselves in, once we are here we have an incredible opportunity, as we will soon see.

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Unfortunately, there are many individuals who find themselves in desperate times, and ���� ��� was speaking of all �� �� �. R’ Shimshon Pincus zt”l once said regarding the ever-present Shidduch predicament, “People who find themselves struggling with this issue don’t want chizuk, they want a Shidduch!” I am fully aware that chizuk, at times, feels like a temporary band-aid, only to slowly fade away leaving us with the familiar feeling of emptiness. Nothing can take the place of a child.

�"�� inform us, however, of a fundamental concept. The �� � in ��� relates, “�� �� ,� � ���� ����� - Who is a wealthy person, one who is joyful with his/her lot.” The simple understanding of this �� � is not a very comforting one. To advise someone to just be content with what they have is a difficult expectation.

On a deeper level, being content while in difficult times has a prerequisite. When a person is confronted with a difficult situation, the circumstance becomes easier to handle when understood. If we had the opportunity to comprehend the meaning and significance behind our difficulties, we would be more accepting and tolerant of them. We all, for example, are quite open-minded while experiencing pain when the objective involves healing or overall health. Therefore, if we can learn to better understand our ���� and what is wanted from us during this time, we can raise our level of tolerance, patience and hopefully our trust.

There is a story said of a man who was ���� to live into his middle nineties. He was extremely energetic and had worked in his family-owned business until a week before he passed away. Someone who had come to the niftar’s house to be ��� ���� noticed that the man’s wife was considerably younger than her late husband. She must have been in her early seventies. Upon further investigation, he learned that this man had been looking for his basherta ever since he was in his early twenties, only to have found

his wife when he was forty-five. The man began to think. Imagine this person, as he reached his high twenties, anxiously davenning for his �� �. As his life continued on, he probably found himself depressed and dejected. He may have even begun to doubt G-d. All of this time, Hashem was above looking down at his precious child saying, “Be patient, My child; you’re going to live a very long and satisfying life. It is not good for a man to be alone, especially when he is older. Your wife will need to be young and vibrant in order to keep up with your energy as you live into your nineties.” And here, at this man’s shiva, everyone understood why he had to wait so long for his mate. It

was a tremendous chessed Hashem had performed on his behalf.

Accordingly, if one works to understand the meaning behind his/her condition, constantly attempting to realize what it is Hashem wants from him/her, s/he will feel content and subsequently be ��� �. This is the secret the �� � in ��� is whispering to us.

Understanding is within our reach, as �"�� have provided us with an array of navigational tools we can utilize to decipher the meaning behind our troubles. Investing time and energy to try and uncover the possible significance behind our uncomfortable and painful position is worthwhile and beneficial. It can assist us in clarifying and understanding an extremely confusing and frustrating time.

In reality, searching for understanding can provide us with double dividends. R’ Paysach Krohn once told over a story which took place in Bnei Brak. A group of women joined together on a consistent basis to learn ���. They came upon the ���� in '� ���� '� ��� ���, in which the ��� compares Hashem to a silversmith. Perplexed, the women decided to send one member of the group to a silversmith in order to observe his work. They made the necessary arrangements and one of the women proceeded to visit

To advise someone to just be content

with what they have is a difficult expectation.

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the local silversmith. She watched as the smith first placed

a block of silver directly into a scorching oven. Upon

questioning his actions, the smith explained that this

process is utilized in order to remove the impurities from

within the silver. And so she understood, there are times

Hashem skillfully places us within the confines of a “fiery

oven,” into an uncomfortable position, in order to remove

our impurities. She then witnessed the smith waiting

patiently, intently watching the glowing silver. “Why is it

that you need to watch it so attentively?” she asked. “If I

were to leave it in there a moment too long, I risk losing

the whole thing” he explained. It dawned on her at that

moment that Hashem too watches us intently and

measures exactly how long we must remain in our allotted

positions. We are not merely thrown in the midst of

turmoil with only the tools to survive. Hashem calculates

to the moment how long we must experience these

hardships. She then proceeded to ask

the obvious. “How do you know when

it is ready to be withdrawn?” The

silversmith smiled and replied, “That’s

easy. When I can see my own

reflection in the silver, I know it’s

ready to be removed.” Only then did

the beauty of the ���� emerge in its

entirety. Hashem keeps us in there

while keeping a close eye, waiting for

us to “reflect” Him. He anxiously waits

for our potential to emerge, for us to

imitate His ways, to recognize our abilities as Yidden and

to act in accordance with “...���� �� �� ���� ��� ��”

There are two valuable messages we can extract from

this ����. Firstly, we see turbulent times are designed and

calculated with great precision. It is not a haphazard

occurrence, forcing us to settle with the discomforting

reality of what is thought of as “coincidence.” It is well-

intended and tailor-made for our benefit.

More importantly, however, the ��� is teaching us that

we have a job to tend to. There is an explanation as to why

we are being placed into this position. We are being given

the opportunity, and the push, to exert ourselves in

discovering how it is Hashem wants us to emulate Him.

How can we gear our lives towards reflecting Him even

more? Once we reach this goal, we will be swiftly removed

from these painful and lonely times.

Here is where we find the double

dividends. Aside from the

contentment we will feel by

enhancing our understanding of our

situation, we are essentially allowing

ourselves to react in the way in which

Hashem had intended to begin with.

This is the explanation of the

concept of a ����. The �"��� in ��

���, when describing the ���� of

Understanding is within our reach, as������have provided us with an array of navigational tools we can utilize to decipher the meaning behind our troubles.

Chizuk, at times, feels like a

temporary band-aid, only to slowly fade away leaving us with the familiar

feeling of emptiness.

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���� ����� to bring ��� as a ����, explains that a ����

is a vehicle with which a person is able to realize his/her

potential. It allows for inner abilities to be extorted and

brought out, essentially becoming part of the person. Once

the individual has actualized that potential, there is no

longer a need for the ����.

As we have seen, a person who finds themselves in the

midst of a ����, in hard, painful times, has a special

closeness with Hashem. �"��� Himself is close by, watching

and eagerly waiting for his/her response. Yes, it is painful;

however it is an opportunity. It is this exclusive nearness,

despite our distance, which allows us to develop our

relationship with Him even further, in a unique and special

way. Only such a reaction can convince the “silversmith”

that we are ready to come out.

Learning about such ideas can provide temporary

feelings of comfort, but as mentioned previously, they are

difficult to permanently absorb and retain. The son-in-law

of R’ Yisroel Salanter wrote over many of his ideas. He once

quoted one of R’ Yisroel’s letters in which he said, “����� is

dependent on one constantly and consistently reviewing

and reminding himself of Hashem’s presence in our world

by using all of the ����� of ��� and the ��� given

to us by the ������ ��� ��, which were imbued with

tremendous depth and power.” The �� ��� says a

similar idea in his �����. They are concepts and ideas

which slip in and out of our consciousness, and only

through persistence and determination can we begin to

internalize them. It is a different way of thinking and we

must retrain our minds how to interact with the reality we

find ourselves in.

Let us remind ourselves that Hashem Himself is

handling our “situation” and measuring every moment of

pain and agony we experience. He is watching and

waiting for us to acknowledge this reality and look to

Him for guidance and comfort. It is in this moment that

we begin to “reflect” Him while working on ourselves

through this ���� to realize Hashem’s closeness and love.

May we be ���� to actualize our potential through our

����� and become the people Hashem is so anxiously

awaiting for us to become. �

The purpose of life is a life with purpose.

Hashem calculates to the moment how long we must experience these hardships.

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Unchanged

Chizuk from Within

It can’t be.

It’s not possible. Is it really the Hebrew month of Elul?

Oh my.

That means Rosh Hashanah is around the cor-ner. A chill goes down my spine as I realize that on that day, a decision will be made on what the coming year will bring me. The last few years have brought me much joy, laugh-ter, and amazing times with my husband, family, and friends. They have not, however, brought me something I long for: a child. On Rosh Hashanah, Hashem will decide if I will conceive in the coming year. Each year, tears fall on the page of my siddur as I hide my face from the curious eyes

around me. I beseech Hashem to answer my prayers like He answered those ofSarah, the wife of Avraham. She was, after all, 90 years old  when her prayers were answered.

“Please Hashem,” I beg, “do not let me wait even half as long as she did!” I know that if He ordains it so, I may be a mother within this year. But if He does not, any medical treat-ment I subject myself to will be for naught. However, I always have another 12 months to appeal the decision for next year.

Looking back at the Rosh Hashanah of my first year of marriage, I smile. I recall a conver-sation with my friend, marveling at how much

had changed in the past year. In one year, both of us had met and married our husbands. We laughed as we spoke, almost giddy with disbelief at our good fortune.

By: Zehava Deer

To remain stagnant is a crime; to fall back

even worse.

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Fast forward another year. Most of my friends were mar-ried by then, with all of those married pregnant or with babies of their own. Except me. I realized with a jolt that in comparison with past years, where so much had changed for me, that year, much had remained the same. I was un-sure, was this a good or a bad thing?

Did I want my life to change? Or was the old adage, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” applicable to my life?

But  as another year crawled by, I realized something. Hashem brought us into this world to transform. We were put here to change for the better, and we need to try to do so each and every day of our lives. To remain stagnant is a crime; to fall back even worse.

And so, if I felt that nothing in my life was changing, it was only natural for me to crave a significant shift in my life. Some people create change through new careers, volun-teerism, or philanthropy. In my case, what I truly wanted right now was a baby of my own.

Now, that sounds perfectly logical, doesn’t it? Guess what? I thought so, too, until I reread the last few paragraphs (you can, too) and realized something so obvious.

My longing for a child does not have to be logical. It does not have to have a well-thought-out argument. I just long for a child. Period.

I want to be pregnant. BOOM.

I want to have children. BANG.

I want to have a large family and raise them all with a love

for Hashem. SHEBANG!

It’s simple.

It doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t have to have good

reasons. I just know one thing, and I am so sure of it my

heart would yell it if it could. I want a child. I pray for a

child.

I don’t know if I will get what I ask for. I also don’t know

the reasons for decisions Hashem makes, and I don’t want

to know them.

I know what I need to know. I know He loves me, like He

loves all of you. Many times we pray for things and don’t

get them, and people feel like that’s a waste of prayers. But

there is no such thing as a wasted prayer. Hashem always

answers. It’s just that sometimes, the answer can be “No.”

If Hashem wills something to be, it happens. May it be His

will that all of those suffering from infertility hear a “YES”

in the coming year. �

Reprinted with permission from Chabad.org

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

Israel:Phone:052-718-7188

E-Mail: [email protected]

Florida:Phone: 305-260-6377

��������������������

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was quite surprised by a knock on my doorFor I wasn’t awaiting company

In walked an unexpected visitorOtherwise known as Infertility.

“You’ve got the wrong address,” I said“Perhaps next door or two doors away?“You’re not invited to our home“This aint a place for you to stay.”

Miss Infertility walked right aheadDespite the impolite welcome“You’ve got no choice,” she curtly said“For now I’m part of your home.”

I begged and pleaded for her to leaveT’was all for naught, no lessHad to accept this guest of mineThough I chose not to be hostess.

Was sure she’d stay just a very little whileYet, alas, she is still hereAnd sometimes my unpleasant guestIs just too hard to bear.

Oh, the courage it takes- the pain-And tears, to host Miss InfertilityShe’s so demanding, so commanding-Does not respect our privacy.

By now I’ve learned- ‘tis not by chanceYet sent to us quite lovinglyBy a Master Planner- I do believeHe knows what’s best for me.

I know the day will comeMy guest will pack her bags and finally leaveI’ll sing a merry song of joyAnd revel in relief…

Never will take for grantedA peaceful day againKos yeshios esaI’ll give praise and thanks to Hashem. �

Chizuk from WithinBy: Batya K.

Here to Stay

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For our Singles support group schedule: please call our office, or email [email protected]

...Let’s work through our

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Join us for these wonderful sessions from the privacy of

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General Infertility/ U.S.A.Mrs. Rivky Bertram

General Infertility/ International

Mrs. Joy Ehrman

Secondary Infertility

Mrs. Chaya OstreicherMrs. Rachel Tuchman

Pregnancy Loss

Mrs. Malki Levine

Post-Hysterectomy

Mrs. Rachel Tuchman

Mothers of Couples Experiencing InfertilityMrs. Rivka Feit

Adoption

Dr. Sara Barris

Male Factor; Wives

Mrs. Yettie Katz

Unsuccessful IVF Cycle

Dr. Sara Barris

General Infertility; Men’s Group

Enhancing Your Marriage

Mrs. Hindy Dahari

Techniques to Attain and Maintain a State of SimchaMrs. Myriam Kalchstein

For more information about UPCOMING SUPPORT GROUPS visit our website www.atime org

or call our office 718-686-8912

ometimes I’m curious to know if people forget that I’m going through infertility.

Obviously, they know I don’t have children, but the occasional strange comments they make do make me wonder if they experienced some form of amnesia. As �������������� �������������������������������about quadruplets born in the neighborhood was simmering. Right when I joined the conversation, a coworker belted out that it’s simply not possible to conceive four at once and it must have been a treatment. I quickly excused myself and escaped to the safety of my cubicle. I tapped away at my keyboard to the tune of my anger. Why is a couple’s private life being hashed out all around town? Where is the sense of decency? And on a personal level, why are they making such comments in front of me? They know very well that I don’t have children yet; is that how I will be dissected when my time comes?

���� ������ ����� ������� �� ���� �� ������� ��� ���the tale, and he immediately pulled out a bottle of schnapps. Seeing my confused expression he said, “We �����������������������������������������

infertility! Obviously your coworkers don’t look at you and think “infertility,” or else they wouldn’t be discussing it so openly. “

Honestly, my idea of graduating infertility was buying a minivan, but deep down I knew what he meant. From the start of our infertility journey, our foremost goal has always been to lead a normal life and be truly happy people. In social circumstances, we ����� ����������� ������������������� ���"����between us and other couples viewed as simply as ������� ���� �"���� ������ ����� ����� ��� #����� ��strived to make do with the situation and even went out of our way to make those around us comfortable talking about their children. It wasn’t always easy, and there were many tears and pain along the way, but seeing the fruits of our labor was invigorating.

$�����������������������������%����&����������Yom Kippur, when we beseech Hash-m to answer our �����������������'�������������� ��������(�))���which presents a multitude of unique challenges for those going through infertility, I would like to experiment with this thought this year.

Chizuk from Within

By: Dina Licht

Graduating InfertilityGraduating Infertility

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Davening in shul, I often feel like I may be standing in the same shul with the same davening, but there’s ���"���������������*��������� ��������#���� �����do the shul attendees on yomim noraim rotate each year? It’s very easy to feel down and upset that we are in the exact same place yet again while those around us have moved on. However, this year I’d like to build on my former success. I will wear my shul-going badge with pride, reminisce with my friends about the heart ����������������+���������������� �)�����������how lucky I am that I can spend day in shul without having to worry about kids tugging at my skirt – I will

acknowledge them and even take it a step further by commiserating about what it feels like to miss out on a heartfelt davening. On Simchas Torah night, I will bring a huge stash of candy to shul and fully take part in the celebration, while the mothers chide me for loading their kids up with sugar. And at the end of the day, I will feel proud of myself because I know that not only was I successful in graduating from infertility, but that my connection to my Father in Heaven can only get stronger as the challenges go by.

Kesiva V’chasima tova! Wishing all of us the strength to graduate infertility. �

Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.

We are pleased to announce our new weekly telephone workshop for women:

Techniques to Attain and Maintain a State of Simcha

with

Mrs. Myriam Kalchstein, LMSW

A d j u n c t P r o f e s s o r , T o u r o C o l l e g e

More information will be available on our website after Pesach

Honestly, my idea of graduating infertility was

buying a minivan.

Honestly, my idea of graduating infertility was

buying a minivan.

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Dearest Mamme Rochel,

I would love to know how you coped. How did you manage during those trying years when you watched your sister and maidservants have one child after another while you had none? How did you occupy yourself when all those around you were occupied with motherhood? How did you not turn bitter? How did you keep yourself strong? What did you do when you got frustrated? Mamme Rochel, I am but a young woman traveling on the steep and rocky path of infertility. I know you understand me; you were there. You know what IF feels like.  

I feel like I cannot cope anymore. How much longer? What does Hashem want from me? I’m so young and yet so desperate to reach motherhood! It’s been over four

years and Mamme, it’s been a long time for me. I want this journey to end already.

I don’t want to question Hashem, but I often wonder, Why is He doing this to me? I didn’t have the easiest life up until now. Why do I have to struggle so? I am tired and weary from battling. Does He think I have the strength? These boulders seem too heavy for me. I am weighed down by the enormity of this challenge, and I know that you were, too. I want to move forward already. This challenge

kind of makes me feel unsuccessful and I think, What is wrong with me that I don’t have kids? Where did I sin? What did I do? Who is angry at me? Who harbors an evil eye? My thoughts do not abate. Mamme Rochel, did you also go through all of these thoughts? I don’t want to be traveling this road! But how

by: Toby SpringChizuk from Within

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I am afraid to think, afraid to hope, in case I

will be let down.

A Daughter's Plea

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was walking to shul one Shabbos morning. The results from my doctor weren’t back yet, but I

already knew I had failed my recent cycle. I thought many times to stay home in bed under the warm and cozy covers, but instead, in slow motion, got up to go to shul. I had been invited to a close bar mitzvah. A milestone! How can I not go to wish the family mazel tov? Thoughts of anxiety entered my mind, and I wondered to myself, Why do so many have children easily while I struggle so hard? It was also right before Shavuos, and I didn’t know where I would be for Yom Tov. Being home just the two of us is lonely but going to parents where there are younger siblings with children of their own is too hard to bear.

As I passed the quiet streets, the world seemed to smile to me. I smiled back. The fresh air just has its way of lifting my mood. I had been passing Ocean Parkway, and the yearly marathon was taking place. Many people would walk or jog from one end of Ocean Parkway to the other for a cause, I didn’t know which one. I took notice that this year there was something different, an enhancement to the previous years; there was a large tent with bottles of water for the hot and sweaty participants of the race to cool off with. Additionally, in this tent was a cheering squad. They kept on saying “Keep it up!” “You can do it!” “You’re doing a great job!” and similar inspiring comments to the hot racers. Near the tent, I noticed an ambulance

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The Cheerleaders:

A Letter of Self Acceptance

Chizuk from Within

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with a stretcher, waiting in case of an emergency.

I couldn’t help but think to myself, Maybe those cheerleaders wish they were on the walking end. It is definitely more of a thriller and a position of much attention. Then I debated with myself as I put myself in the cheerleaders’ position. I know I can’t walk or jog like the race participants, so here I am on the team of cheerleaders. I may wish to be a racer, but my job is no less important; I am helping the racers reach their goal by cheering them on. It reminded me of a story I had once read.

A young bochur was brought to the Lubavitcher Rebbe for chizuk in keeping the mitzvos.

The boy expected to hear some chizuk The Rebbe asked the boy, “Do you have a baseball team?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“And who is your team?”

“The Yankees.”

“Did you attend a recent game?” continued the Rebbe.

“Yes,” was the boy’s response, “I was there just the other day.”

“And did you stay until the end of the game” the Rebbe further asked.

The boy was wondering what the Lubavitcher Rebbe was aiming for. Why would he care about how loyal he is to his team?

“Actually, no,” he replied, “I left before the game was over.”

“Why would you do that?” The Rebbe pressed him.

“Because I saw that team was losing, so what’s the point of staying?” the boy replied in a deflated voice. Team fans don’t like to stay at a game when their team loses.

“Did the players leave?” continued the Rebbe?

“Of course not,” the teen replied, “they need to stay until the end of the game, regardless if they are winning or losing.”

“Aha,” said the Rebbe. “So are you a player or are you just a fan in the game of life? Players need to stay until the very end, even if they may not feel like they are on the winning team.”

Keeping this in mind got me thinking ,that in life, regardless which part I receive, I can choose to be a player and to stick it out to the very end.

My fellow sisters; it may sometimes feel as if we are losing the marathon of life, but don't forget what players must do!

And even if I feel that I did not receive the role I wanted to play, I will do my part - and take on the attitude of a player. To give it all I've got and to stay until the very end of the game. While we don’t run around with little kinderlach, we can be cheerleaders and offer kind words to those around us. We can distribute bottled water, doses of chizuk, to the ones in need. And most important of all is to keep in mind that near the cheerleaders is Hashem, our ambulance, waiting to help us out as soon as we call out to Him. �

Athletes lift weights; cheerleaders lift people.

Players

must

stay till

the very end,

no matter if

they are on the

winning or

losing team.

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feel that I have no milestones to celebrate, no reports to tellNo pictures to display and no nachas to share and kvell

If only I could tell you, that I too have milestones to shareThat deserve the same reaction, loving attention, and care

I remember my first smile, after the downpour of tearsWhen I accepted our reality, and truly faced my fearsMy pain turned to privilege, for the opportunity I hadIn being so close and dependent on HKBH; what could be bad?

I remember when my mind turned over, whether it was best to waitTo start tests and treatments, or just put our chances in fateWe were advised to wait, and put our hopes in HKBH aloneWhile doctors and family just assumed “I wasn’t ready,” only to us was the real reason known.

I endured the shame, while people snickered and mockedWhen they heard I was waiting, they couldn’t keep in their shock“One day you’ll be ready,” with pity they would sayHow much strength it took to declare, that the route of just bitachon I would stay

I remember the times I stood up, after every month’s answer was ‘no’Wiping my tear-soaked face, and putting a smile for the outside world to showHow much strength it took, to not constantly break down in despair, To light candles Friday night, and whisper the same, repetitive prayer

I remember starting to crawl, out of my self-pity and lack of hopeDeciding I would no longer self-isolate, self-shame, and no longer just mopeWith tremendous vulnerability, I reached out for chizuk and inspirationI communicated with others, and received validation

MilestonesBy: Chaya Siegal

Chizuk from Within

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I crawled out and tried to be social, even though I felt the staresAnd thought of solutions for the challenges that were so hard to bearI thought of ways I could use my kochos, and make sure I would growInto a better Eved Hashem, with emunah that would show

I remember taking the first step through the treatment doorsFighting back my tears, as I heard what was in storeDespite my tremendous fear of needles, I followed protocolAnd though I was crying inside, I stood so straight and tall

I remember the doctor’s first words, unexplained infertility was his conclusionMaking our hopeful, innocent lives seem quite an illusionYet I walked away with strength, Hashem’s ways don’t need to have an explanationI fought hard to come to terms with our ‘unexplained’ situation

Our marriage turned one year, then two, and almost threeStill growing strong and living happilyWe celebrate having each other, and we are grateful for every giftDespite all the disappointments, between us there are no rifts

Though I have no pictures to show, no balloons, cards, or cakeThese milestones of mine are certainly not fakeIn Shamayim my milestones are celebrated, each one marked with prideEach one a special occasion, on this seemingly never ending ride

Every smile amongst pain, every prayer amongst despairEvery effort of acceptance, amongst pleads of ‘it’s not fair’Every expression of gratitude, amongst feelings of lackEvery feeling of hope, amongst a large negative pregnancy test stackEvery dosage of chizuk, amongst insensitivity and lack of thoughtEven amen to a bracha, amongst every failed treatment sought

Each one a special occasion, a milestone, its true, Whose rewards are everlasting; many brachos they will accrue

I know my milestones are captured, these milestones of mine, Beaming with nachas, I can see Shamayim shine. �

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hat in the world is she doing here? I can’t believe she came back, and so fast at that! When I bade her farewell a couple of weeks ago, I was sure

she wouldn’t return for a while. Well, here she comes, and judging by her luggage, it seems she’ll be staying a couple of days, maybe even a week. Believe me if I tell you I would be happier to see my mother-in-law. The nerve! Coming every few weeks, uninvited and unannounced, and she doesn’t even seem to realize how annoyed I am. Completely oblivious, she makes herself at home and settles into my life, as if she belongs here.

And her demands! She saps me of the little energy I have. I have to change the linens, do her laundry, prepare her meals, and clean up after her. And what a mess she makes! Cleanliness is obviously not her forte, and apparently manners are not part of her dictionary. She forces me to spend all my time with her instead of with my husband. For that matter, she makes my husband feel quite unwelcome in his

��������� By: M. T. Hardt

Chizuk from Within

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Uninvited guests are often most welcome when they leave.

own home. He can’t act himself with her around. He is self-conscious and withdrawn in her presence.

And it’s like this every single time she comes!

This time, though, she really carried things too far. I had just spent a few weeks preparing for the arrival of some special guest and I was really looking forward to having her. Not only had I prepared physically, but I had even readied myself mentally and emotionally. I was more excited than I’d ever been before. But then she had to come along and spoil my plans. She came, saying that she had met my other guest at the airport, who had told her she had a change of plans and would be going to my younger sister-in-law instead. So she figured, since I was anyway ready for guests, she could come in their place.

I am ready to cry! I am so upset; you could even call me depressed. I am not only miserable; I am angry, burning,

seething angry. SHE WAS NOT SUP-POSED TO BE HERE! I had so desper-ately wanted the other guest to come! I had invited her. I had exerted so much effort for her stay to be nice and pleas-ant. I knew why she was coming, and so I organized and arranged all aspects of

her visit to optimize her chance for success. And now, not only didn’t she come to me; she went to my sister-in-law instead. And in her place came this horrid, nasty, dreadful visitor. I wish I can get rid of her! I want her out. For a long long time. I. Want. Her. To. Go. GO!

I wish my husband would find a way to banish her. Maybe the Rabbi he always goes to for advice can tell us how we can keep her away. If she comes one more time, I am in serious danger of losing my mind. Perhaps there is someone out there who could help me? I think I am going

for professional help. I need help. I must get help, period! �

H E A L T H Y W O M E N H E A L T H Y Y O U

CHAVA A P R O J E C TO F A T I M E

718.475.1415

For all questions and concerns

about women’s health from birth

to menopause

Give us a call, we have the answers, the

experience and we can help you

w w w . a t i m e . o r g

For the best referraland advice in women’s health

Obstetrics Routine / High RiskGynecologyUrogynecologyPregnancy LossCycle Management / PCOS / EndocrinologyPediatric / Adolescent Gynecology

MenopausePelvic PainFertility PreservationHalacha pertaining to all areasof women’s health

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Chizuk from Within

By: Esther B.

hen I got married, I was young and full of hopes and dreams, chief among them was having chil-

dren. As every month passed, those dreams were repeat-edly shattered. I shed copious amounts of tears, desperate to become pregnant.

After two years, following my OB’s recommendation, we began to look for help. Based on my husband’s medical history we were referred to a top doctor in the field of male factor infertility. We managed to get an appointment fairly quickly and were thrust in to the unknown. After looking over my husband’s medical records and examining him, the specialist gave us a grim prognosis. He said we had a slim chance of finding sperm through TESE; otherwise we should look into adoption. Reading the information booklet he had given us, I couldn’t really comprehend the magnitude of his statement. We were devastated. To our surprise he did not deem it necessary to do a semen analysis, so confident was he in his as-sessment.

He referred us to an RE, who listened to all we had to say and all the urologist had told us. The RE told us that before we jump to any treatments or tests we need to do a semen analysis to see where we stand.  To our great surprise and shock, the SA yielded double digits sperm! We were so happy that the first doctor was wrong, and we switched to a new center for various reasons.

Our new doctor asked for a new semen analysis, and to our joy they found just under half a million sperm. The doctor was confident, that due to my good health b”H, we would be able to hopefully produce some embryos using IVF and ICSI. We began prepping for a fresh IVF cycle, with all that it entails. B”H my body responded well to the treatment and drugs, and by the end of the cycle we had embryos to work with. We underwent a fresh transfer and froze the remaining embryos. The next two weeks, as

many of the readers will know, was full of nerves and many sleepless nights. Unfor-tunately the transfer was unsuccessful.

 After the hard work of a full IVF treat-ment cycle, we were very down about the results and felt a break would be the best course of action. Our doctor did not agree and recommended we continue and give it another try. I was convinced, and we did a frozen transfer.

As the nurse calmly told me that this time the transfer was successful, I broke down as the reality hit me: I was preg-nant for the very first time.

In and out for weekly checkups followed, and we were beginning to realize that in nine short months I would be a mother.

At the six-week sonogram, we received the surprise of our lives; there were two heartbeats on the screen! The em-bryo had split into two, resulting in mono-zygotic (iden-

I shed copious amounts of tears,

desperate to become pregnant.

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Of Trials & Triumph

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tical) twins. The doctor immediately warned us not to get our hopes up too quickly and that the next few weeks would be crucial in ensuring the embryos would continue to de-velop. Since they were coming from one embryo and sharing all the nec-essary nutrients, both embryos would either survive or we would lose both.

Yet all our dreams seemed broken just one week later when no heartbeats showed on the scan. Both fetuses had stopped growing. We went from the highest of the high to the lowest of the low. To say we were disappointed after the physical and emotional ride the past eight months had taken us would be a major understatement. We cried; we mourned the twins we would now not have.

Given our options we elected to have a D&C, and sent off the embryos for testing. They came back normal; there was no reason we had lost the fetuses. That was both good and bad news: good because that meant there was noth-ing structurally wrong with the embryos, and bad because there was no reason as to why we had lost them.

After waiting the required amount of time before try-ing again we started to prepare for a frozen transfer - FET. We transferred one embryo and hoped for the best. An-other two week wait. However, when I went for the preg-nancy test, the numbers were only slightly elevated; the blood test detected a pregnancy, but the BETA was not high enough. The doctor wanted me in two days later to see how the numbers had moved. They increased ever so slightly. The doctor wasn’t happy. He wanted to see the numbers going up higher.

After a few more days, he did a sonogram and diagnosed this pregnancy as ectopic. He explained to us that course of treatment that we would need to follow to get rid of the embryo before it caused any life-threatening damage. With our rav’s haskama, I went into the office for a meth-otrexate injection. On my way home it hit me, I had just (literally) killed my chance at a pregnancy and child. To say that I was shattered would be aptly describing the sit-uation. I was extremely low and down at the prospect of

what I had just done and due to the fact that we now had to wait three months before the medicine left my body and we would be able to start trying again.

The first month passed by, and we slowly got over our loss. The next two months were difficult in the fact that we slowly became more and more ready to try again, yet we were medically not al-

lowed to as it would harm the fetus. This was very tough; I just wanted the time to pass by so that we could try again.

When my three-month wait was up, we discussed the next steps with our doctor. We chose to transfer two em-bryos. Another two week wait, two weeks of uncertainty and the unknown, hoping yet keeping our expectations tempered based on all our previous experiences.

The call from the nurse came while I was at work. I was pregnant! Oh how difficult it was to act as if nothing had happened when all I wanted to do was dance down the street in joy! Sonogram appointments followed and while both embryos had implanted, and we had two heartbeats at 6 weeks, by week 7, we only had one heartbeat; we were down to one fetus. It was a bittersweet moment; we were happy yet sad, disappointed yet encouraged.

We happily made it to the “discharge” stage of our clinic and moved to a high risk OB based on our doctor’s rec-ommendation. Monthly appointments and sonograms followed. B”H everything was going well.

Ninth month. Weekly visits.

I went into labor two week’s early, and with Hashem’s help, gave birth to a healthy baby! I held my child in my arms with tears streaming down my face, sobbing incon-solably. I couldn’t believe I had actually made it to that point; after all the disappointments we had been through, we finally got to the light at the end of the tunnel, a pre-cious child, one that took great effort to get but was finally here. There were times I thought we would never attain this, but as my husband always reminded me, never give up hope. One day eventually we will get there. And b”H after long, trying years, we did. �

Oh how difficult it was to act as if nothing had happened when all I wanted to do

was dance down the street in joy!

We cried; we mourned the twins we would now not have.

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Support

Tips for Coping with Yom Tov

Yom Tov MealsDO:

• Be selective about accepting invitations to seudos, especially those with other guests with children whom you are uncomfortable with. Remember: you don’t have to say yes, and you are allowed to do what is best for you.

• Try preparing meals at home. Spending time as a couple – away from the outside pressures (yes, the private pressures remain!) makes Yom Tov truly special. Invite guests for the meal to get the benefit of company, while having the ability to be selective about who it’ll be.

DON’T:

• Let yourself feel useless or bored at a meal away from home. Help with the serving and cleaning and make yourself useful, without overexerting yourself or feeling like you must run the show.

Visiting Family

and FriendsDO:

• Consider arriving just in time for wishing Gut Yom Tov or a Kesiva V’chasima Tova and leaving thereafter, if the brachos are uncomfortable or family members tend to gush.

• Keep in mind that however awkward it may sometimes get expressed, your family desperately wants what’s best for you and cares about you deeply. Decide in advance how you will handle difficult or insensitive questions.

DON’T:

• Visit at designated times if you’re not up to it, even if “everybody” goes at a certain time. You can always pop in to aunts, grandmothers, or mothers-in-law at an

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unofficial time when there isn’t much traffic.

• Don’t take brachos personally. Practice to smile, say thank you, and let them slide. Decide in advance how you will handle the expected wishes.

Shul goingDO: • Take advantage of your “flexible” schedule to daven in

shul as much as you’d like. Splurge on something new to wear. It is amazing how looking good makes one feel good.

DON’T:

• While it is always commendable to daven in shul, don’t feel guilty about not attending every tefillah (or any) or for skipping hakafos, if it is difficult. Concentrate on getting through the Yom Tov with the least stress possible. A tefillah in the privacy of your home - away from probing eyes (imaginary or otherwise) - can be so meaningful.

Simchos Yom TovDO:

• Try to help others in need. Visit an elderly or bed-ridden relative, and make someone’s day. Cheering up other victims of the holiday blues has a rejuvenating effect.

• Set aside time with your husband to share your feelings with each other. Give each other moral support for making it through difficult parts of the Yom Tov.

• Allow yourself to feel sad, deprived or uncomfortable. Infertility is a difficult struggle, and you are entitled to those feelings, especially during the Yom Tov season when the lack is highlighted.

• Get together with couples or friends who are struggling with infertility. In this extremely child-oriented time, it is so good to connect to others who understand your feelings and your challenges.

DON’T:

• Focus on others and where they are up to in life. Instead, focus on yourself and do whatever you can to make this Yom Tov season meaningful and happy. �

Support and help is just a phone call awaySupport and help is just a phone call away

To request the ATIME pregnancy loss support packetcontact: [email protected]

Experienceda loss?

You are not alone.

A TIME Support Line

718.686.8912 ext.113

www.atime.org

You arenot alone.

A TIME is the premier, internationally acclaimed organization that offers advocacy, education, guidance, research and support through many programs to Jewish men, women,

and couples struggling with reproductive health, pregnancy loss and infertility.

Pregnancy Loss Support Program

Loss Support PackageMedical GuidanceChevra Kadisha ArrangementsFollow-up counselingReferralsPatient AdvocacySupport GroupsEducational Events

Miscarriage/Recurring Miscarriages • Stillbirth

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have no idea what’s going on this month.  I’m not sure whether I

am pregnant or not. I am leaning far more on the not side, but it’s not over yet.

Since trying to conceive, I have taken many pregnancy tests. Each month my heart and body hope with all their might that it will come up positive; and early enough so I can get on the medication that I need to keep the pregnancy healthy.

Each month, I have negative tests stare me in the face and I begin to notice a pattern. I have a feeling that I am not the only woman trying to conceive who has this same monthly pattern when they believe that they could be pregnant.

Have a look at the 7 stages of seeing a negative pregnancy test:

Hopeful You’re sure this is going to be your month, it’s about time. You get really excited that it’s almost test day and you’re sure it’s going to be positive.

Denial Well, the test looks negative, but maybe it’s not. It must have been too early, or your urine was not concentrated enough and that spot-ting is probably just implantation, you think. You’ll test again in a few days.

Anger Yep, this doesn’t make sense. You have to be pregnant, but your body is just being a big meanie. Everyone else around you is pregnant -- it’s your turn!

Bargaining You scour the internet looking for stories of a negative test who turned out to be pregnant. You look for information on how quickly hCG levels rise. You promise to give up caffeine, sugar and anything even almost bad if only you could be pregnant.

Depression The reality is hitting that the negative test is really just that -- negative. You are upset that you got your hopes up, that you spent so much money on pregnancy tests and don’t think you can keep doing this.

Acceptance You realize that yes, this is your period and nothing else. That negative test was right and you’re not pregnant.

Repeat

Your desire and need for a child keeps you going. Even though it gets harder and harder with every month that goes by, you repeat the cycle next month and hope for the best. �

www.babble.com

Support

The7Stages of Seeing a Negative Pregnancy Test

By: DEVAN MCGUINNESS

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Almost four months have passedSince that day of pain

When my dear husband askedWhat his test explained

Those words that were spokenEchoed painfully

He said he was brokenBy the hurt he’s causing me

But he is my husbandAnd will remain so always

So we walk side by sideCounting down the days

Impatiently waitingFor each appointmentHope slowly abating

Such disappointment

Why can’t it be easy?None of these issues

All done naturallyNo tear-soaked tissues

Through the tears and acheWe keep on hoping

We’re both so much strongerAnd better at coping

We continue to prayAnd hope for the best

Dreaming maybe one dayWe will both be blessed! �

Shared JourneyShared Journey

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Words are inadequate to describe this special Shabbos. The varimkeit and inspirational drashos surpassed all our expectations. There was a palpable difference between the olam who walked in Erev Shabbos and the inspired Yidden who left Sunday. It was truly a Shabbos of emunah, bitachon and achdus. The divrei chizuk we heard throughout Shabbos changes our outlook. The devotion and care that goes into preparing all this changes lives. Thanks for everything. Mr. & Mrs. F.

 I want to thank you for this unbelievable, amazing Shabbaton! Everything was so super special, from food to speakers, decor to setup, and most of all to meet with everyone! My husband so enjoyed Rabbi Rosen’s speech. He took out a wealth of inspiring words. Thanks for all. Only Hashem can repay you for all hard work heart and getreishaft you put in to shine a light into hearts and bring a smile onto the face of so many of His children! S.

Yasher koach for such an amazing Shabbos. All of your efforts, kindness and everything you did made it an unbelievable Shabbos. May Hakodosh Baruch Hu continue to give you tremendous koach to continue to give chizuk to Klal Yisrael for many more years iy”H. S.F.

Thank you for all your hard work to arrange the Shabbos and make sure everything ran smoothly. We really enjoyed every part of the amazing weekend! I am going alone to Eretz Yisroel on Wednesday for my nephew’s bar mitzvah. My sister is four years older than me and has nine kids ke”h. I will try to take along the chizuk from Shabbos...I am great if I was chosen for this....I don’t want to be a caterpillar....make the most of my ‘missing right arm.’ Thank you! D.S.

Shabbos was amazing. I came back so refreshed. C.F.

th

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There are no words to thank you enough for this amazing Shabbos. The light bulb inside me turned on. I got so much chizuk and strength to keep going. Thank you again.

A.A.I wanted to thank you most genuinely for allowing me an experience that felt most beautiful for me, in the most unexpected way.Through your warmth, your creativity, your flair for the glamor and detail and your infectious smile, I felt welcomed and pampered all the time I was there.I was able to find girls I felt familiar with quickly, and as I got more comfortable, I had such pleasant and easy conversations with women I never thought I could share a “real” laugh with.

B”h, this is only a new challenge for my husband and I, and I daven every moment that I think about it that it will be over for us very soon.... Regardless, the new strain this “childless” awareness has presented in my life has been very traumatic for me. Just the fact that my husband and I were “forced” to seek help and soon found ourselves sitting in clinics, choosing the doctor with the best baby-making “success” rates has been a surreal experience for me- in the least exciting way. Over the last year of us being poked and tested to try and figure out what’s not working, I’ve felt the saddest I can remember in my life.

To be honest, when I received the link to this retreat in my email, I forwarded it to my husband jokingly. I put “Wanna go to a Shabbos at the Hilton. NO babies allowed.” in the header and waited for his response. I think he’s gotten familiar with my defense mechanism of being sarcastic or “funny” when things most hurt or stress me, and instead of laughing back, he said, “If you want to, I would too and we can go together.” 

 Thank you for allowing us the opportunity. I know that my husband felt as comfortable as quickly as I did, and we enjoyed each other’s company and the inspiring program in a most relaxed and happy setting, which was most surprising for me to feel in such challenging circumstances.

It is my hope that Hashem reciprocates the love and concern you show towards other Jews with an overflow of revealed bracha and joy in your life. May your warmth, creativity

and huge smile no longer be needed to help relieve those in pain... but instead be used to change “A TIME” into an organization which hosts multiple brises and kiddushs, amid laughter and joy for everyone in Kal Yisrael so deserving of their deepest wish coming true.

With much appreciation and wishes for a wonderful and successful week,

D. and S.

Dearest Brany,  Now that we are back abroad, we wanted to drop you an email to say a huge thank you for the amazing Shabbaton experience we had in America. This was my first time not just at an American Shabbaton but also in America, so I did arrive with some sense of nervousness.   Being my first time in America, I was nervous of the possible ‘culture shock’ I might experience, however I soon realized that Infertility knows no map or cultural boundaries.  We are all in it together, from wherever we come. Within moments of our arrival in the beautiful Hilton hotel, our fears disappeared and our excitement got the better of us.  We knew we were in for a most special Shabbos. 

Everything was beautifully arranged and organized with every possible detail taken care of.  All the hosts were so helpful and caring; just wanting us to settle in well and enjoy ourselves throughout the.  I was so happy to meet people (some ATIME staff) about whom I have heard so much about but had never met.   For us, it was in a weird way ‘lovely’ to know that others - even in America - also have Infertility.  We are not alone, and ATIME takes care of its couples in style wherever they may be!  We benefitted from each of the renowned speakers and workshops.  Each infused us with chizuk, giving us a message to bring back home. I’m not going to deny that the jet lag is tough….but it was so worth it!

 Wishing you and your amazing team much hatzlocha for the important work you do at all hours of the day and night. Best wishes, E.

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We just got back home from being in NY after the Shabbaton.

 There are no words to express how we both feel. The whole experience was just incredible! The speakers were phenomenal and the atmosphere electric! We were warmly welcomed and felt very much at home! A.

Brany, It is over a week after the Shabbos, and when I say that I still feel the kedusha from the Shabbos, I mean that emotionally and spiritually I am still on a high. I received so much chizuk by getting to know such amazing people; some I got to know for the first time and some I got to know a bit better. I never thought that we would come to the ATIME Shabbos, but we did and it was the most awesome and inspiring one that we have experienced. Thank you for inviting us to participate; thank you for this opportunity. Rabbi Rosen speech, as usual, went straight to my heart. I always feel that he says things

from his heart that are so profound. When he said that when a person is down, the first place they go to is where they feel close. After our recent major challenge, where did I go to? I came to A TIME to help on whatever you needed. I am so indebted to you for everything that you’ve done for me and for my husband, I feel that I can never do enough to help you out. You saved me when I was so down, and not only brought me up; you made me feel normal. Rabbi Jacobson, flying high with the pilot is one interesting analogy. We don’t need to do research on him because he’s in the same boat as us, wherever we go, he goes. Hashem is always with us, no need to second-guess him. I would not have been able to get through the past year and a half without you, Rabbi Koeing and Rabbi Unger. Literally you all kept me sane. Thanks again Brany for everything. I have so much more that I want to say, I always do, for now... This is it. Always, S. �

• Medical Information • Helpful Tips for Cycling

• Lodging Information near your center

• And everything you need to help

this experience be a smooth one.

OVERWHELMED BY IVF?

Call in to the A TIME office for your copy. 718-686-8912

NOW AVAILABLE IN THE A TIME OFFICEA COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR IVF

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“Who maketh the barren woman to

dwell in her house as a joyful mother

of children…” Tehillim 113:9

Where Medical Excellence

and Compassionate

Care Unite

RMA of New York is a proud sponsor of A TIME, and works closely with the organization to provide support for infertility services consistent with Halacha.

For an appointment, please contact one of the following locations:

Fertility Treatment Options: • Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)

• IVF – ET (in vitro fertilization – embryo transfer)

• Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI)

• Blastocyst Culture and Transfer

• Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD)

• Comprehensive Chromosome Screening (CCS)

• Embryo Cryopreservation

• Egg Donation

• Fertility Preservation through Egg Freezing (oocyte cryopreservation)

Dr. Lawrence GrunfeldReproductive Endocrinologist and Infertility SpecialistCo-Founder of RMA of New York

Dr. Rashmi KudesiaReproductive Endocrinologist and Infertility SpecialistRMA of New York - Brooklyn

Alan B. Copperman, MD • Lawrence Grunfeld, MD • Tanmoy Mukherjee, MD • Benjamin Sandler, MD • Eric Flisser, MD • Jeff rey Klein, MD • Jaime Knopman, MD Rashmi Kudesia, MD • Matthew A. Lederman, MD • Beth A. McAvey, MD • Daniel E. Stein, MD • Allison Styne, MD • Sheeva Talebian, MD • Natan Bar-Chama, MD

Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York

www.rmany.com

Manhattan635 Madison Avenue 10th FloorNew York, NY 10022P: (212) 756-5777F: (212) 756-5770

Downtown594 Broadway, Ste. 1011New York, NY 10012P: (212) 906-7900F: (212) 965-1800

Long Island400 Garden City PlazaSuite 107Garden City, NY 11530P: (516) 746-3633F: (516) 746-3622

Westside200 W 57th Street, Ste. 900New York, NY 10019P: (212) 256-8200F: (212) 247-4292

Westchester15 N. Broadway Garden Level Suite GWhite Plains, NY 10601P: (914) 997-6200F: (914) 997-8111

Brooklyn26 Court Street, Ste. 2710Brooklyn, NY 11242P: (718) 532-8700F: (212) 756-5770

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Medical

By: Dr. Lawrence GrunfeldRMA of New York

A successful IVF treatment results in the birth of a single full-term healthy baby. This goal is

achieved by combining optimal treatment in programs that utilize the most up-to-date technology. The Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) maintains a database of success rates at www.SART.org to help re-productive endocrinologists interpret the nation’s data for quality improvement, to adhere to federal reporting guidelines as mandated by the Fertility Clinic Success Rate and Certificate Act of 1992, and to allow patients a window into the performance of an individual program. The data was never intended to compare pro-gram statistics due to differences in practice patterns that will be ex-plained in this article.

Success rates are reported as clinical pregnancies and as deliveries. The difference is due to the occurrence of miscarriages after embryos implant. Miscarriages are rarely due to the mother being unable to carry the embryo (in the absence of an obvious uterine deformity) and are mostly due to deficiencies in embryo quality. Embryos with chromosomal

abnormalities almost always miscarry, while embryos that are both physically and chromosomally intact fare better. Success is reported for all cycles that are initiated and then again for completed cycles. Cycles may be cancelled and never get to completion because of inadequate egg supply, inadequate development of embryos, inadequate uterine lining development or because the program chose to freeze the embryos for a later implantation.

Most programs find little benefit to IVF when only 1-2 follicles develop. This is due to the fact that 20% of follicles are empty, another 20% are immature and fail to fertilize, and as many as half of the fertilized zygotes fail to develop into embryos. With only two follicles it is very unlikely that an embryo will be available for transfer. The rate at which cycles are cancelled is age-dependent where very few women under 35 have cancelled cycles, while as many as one in three of the cycles in women over 42 will not get to egg retrieval or embryo transfer.

Programs that cancel high number of cases prior to egg retrieval will bias the results to improved success rates, since patients with poor prognosis

It is not wise to

compare statistics between

programs due to

difference in practice patterns.

MeMMMMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeMeeMeMeMeMeMeMeeMMeeMMMeMeMMeeMeeMMeeeMeMMMeMeMMMeMeMMeMMeMMeeMeeedidididididdidddidididididididdiddddddidddiddiddddddididddddidddddddddddiddddddddidddiddddiididdiidddd cacacacacacacacacacacacaacacacacacaccacacaccacacacaaacacaccacaccacacacacacaacacacaaacacaaccaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

BByy:: DDrr.. Lawrence GrunfeldRMA A ofof New York

successful IVF treatmtment reresusults in tthehehe bb b iririrththth of a single full-term healaltht y babyby. . ThiTh s goal iis s

achieved by combining optimal treatmmenent in proogrgramama s s that utilize the most up-to-date technologo y. Th The e Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) maintains

abbababnoononormrmrmrmalaalittitieieiesss alalalmmomomo tststst aa allwlways mimimiscsccarararrry, while e emembryoss that arareee boboboththth p pphyhyysisicacallllyy y anananddd hchchrororommosomallllyy iinntatact fare e bettt er. Success iis reported for all cycyclclesess t thahat are e innititiated and ththenen aa agagagainin f f foror c comomom lplpleteteded c cycles. Cycleles s mmay be cancelled anandd neneveverr gegett toto c comomplpletetioion bbecause of inadequate egg

Demystifying IVF success rates

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will be excluded. On the other hand, high cancellation rates also occur in programs that give poor prognosis patients a chance. Patients with elevated FSH, low AMH and low basal antral follicle counts (BAFC) are known to have guarded prognosis, but may still have an acceptable chance for pregnancy. While higher egg production is generally associated with better quality embryos and better pregnancy rates, treating difficult cases may result in a disproportionate number of cases with diminished egg production and high cancellation rates. It is a good idea to look at the cancellation rate for patients your age to understand the chance of successfully completed a cycle of IVF.

Since the desired goal is a single term delivery, the number of embryos transferred and the risk of multiple pregnancies should be evaluated. SART reports the average number of embryos transferred as well as the proportion of live births with twins and triplets. The number of embryos transferred is the single factor that most correlates with multiple births. In modern IVF, single embryo transfer (SET) is often recommended in all age groups. To accomplish this goal in women over 40, it is important to have more information about the embryo than can be determined from inspecting the embryo under the microscope. The most advanced programs offer the ability to biopsy a few cells from the blastocyst stage and test the genetic competence of the embryo. In some cases this information may not be available until the next cycle so there may be no pregnancy from the retrieval cycle and the pregnancy will occur in subsequent thaw cycle after

the embryos are cryopreserved. A clue that the program does this is a high pregnancy rate per transfer with a low pregnancy rate per cycle initiated, but high rate in cycles where embryos are thawed.

IVF success is typically reported by the age of the woman whose eggs are used. In fact, the age when the eggs are retrieved (egg age) is a more accurate predictor of implantation rates than other biomarkers of ovarian aging. Pregnancy rates decline with age so it is important to analyze reports within your age group. At the upper ages all results are reported as greater than 42, yet there is a marked difference between those 42 and those over 45. It is difficult to get an accurate assessment of pregnancy rates in women over 45 who use their own eggs since so few pregnancies occur. Genetic screening of embryos is commonly performed when the egg age is greater 45 to assure that only normal embryos are replaced. Programs that routinely perform PGS will have high cancellation rates, but exceptional rates per transfer as only normal embryos are transferred.

In summary, it is not wise to compare statistics between programs due to difference in practice patterns. The statistics do, however, offer a window into the program’s technology. The number of cycles performed, the willingness to take on tough cases, the focus on patient-centered care, and the goal of transferring single embryos by assessing embryos for genetic competence are all factors patients should consider when choosing IVF centers for their care. �

wiwillll be ex lcl dud dded. OOnOn t thhehe o o hththerer hh handdd, h hiighh canc lellla ition raratetess alalsoso o occccur i in prp oggrams t thhat igig veve p poooorr prprogognonosisiss

ti t h P ti t ith l t d FSH l AMH

hthe embbryos are cryopreservedd. A cllue that the pproogrgramamm dodoeses t thihiss isis a a h higighh prpregegnanancncyy raratete p perer t traransnsfeferr wiwithth a a l lowow

t l i iti t d b t hi h t i l

The number of cycles performed, the willingness to take on tough cases, the focus on patient-centered care, and the goal of transferring single embryos by assessing embryos for genetic competence are all factors

patients should consider when choosing IVF centers for their care.

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Medical

Is DHEA Beneficial a Diminished

DHEA has �����������

� ���������� ������� ������� ����

�� ���������������������������

reserve.

Determined Fertility Patient’s Self Diagnosis Leads to Patent for Treating Female Infertility with Male HormonesTreating female infertility with male hormones seems counterintuitive, but in many cases it works.

July 12, 2015 Press Release 24/7

On June 28, the US Patent and Trademark �������������� ��patent to The Center for Human Reproduction, a leading U.S. fertility center, for the novel use of the hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone [de-HYDRO-epi-andro-STER-ohn]) in the treatment of female infertility.

“The recognition that male hormones (androgens), like DHEA, can have a rejuvenating effect on ‘older’ ovaries has been one of the more important discoveries in clinical female infertility ��� ����� ������������������������ ���improved treatment outcomes for many women with low functional ovarian reserve,” said Dr. Norbert Gleicher, Medical Director and Chief Scientist at New York’s Center for Human Reproduction (CHR), also Professor (Adjunct) at Rockefeller University in New York City.

Chance DiscoveryThe CHR team is a group of respected researchers who have published hundreds of peer-reviewed medical journal articles and also offer clinical state-of-the-arts fertility treatments that, over the decades, have resulted in the birth of almost 18,000 children. The innovation of DHEA/androgen treatments, however, sprang from the mind of an enterprising CHR patient.

In 2003, this 42-year-old woman selected CHR as her fertility center,

already then known for special expertise in the treatment of older women. After a less-than-satisfactory in vitro fertilization cycle, the only treatment option left appeared to be use of donor

eggs. The patient, however, requested one more attempt with use of her own eggs. Much to her physicians’ surprise, she suddenly produced more and better quality eggs. After she had completed six consecutive IVF cycles (she was freezing her embryos for future use) she confessed to having been supplementing with DHEA. She had reviewed the medical literature and suspected DHEA supplementation may increase egg numbers. The CHR team’s experience with this patient launched studies of DHEA at CHR that continue today.

“The utilization of DHEA and other androgens in women with LFOR has not only revolutionized how CHR treats

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in Treating a Patient with Ovarian Reserve?

‘older’ ovaries but has become standard treatment all around the world - and it all started with one CHR patient, who now is listed as co-inventor on all of CHR’s DHEA/androgen patents,” noted Dr. Gleicher.

How it Works

Over the last decade medical literature has documented the importance of androgens for normal growth and maturation of egg-containing follicles in ovaries: As women age, their androgen levels decline. CHR investigators have found that young women suffering from premature ovarian aging also demonstrate abnormally low androgen levels. Why DHEA and other androgens potentially improve egg quantity and quality in selected patients is now well understood - but was unknown when CHR started investigating DHEA.

Supplementation with DHEA is the safest form of androgen supplementation because DHEA is the physiological precursor for testosterone in the body, from which various organs produce required and ������������� � � ������levels. Supplementing with DHEA rather than testosterone directly, therefore, results in

much fewer side effects. �

A randomized ������������

�� ������������� �������������������������������������������������������� ����������!"

STUDY SHOWS DHEA DOES NOT IMPROVE IVF OUTCOMES

By Dr. Eric J. Forman, MD, FACOG #�����������$��������

!������������%���

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July 21, 2015

A recent study conducted at The (������������%������ �and reported in Ob.Gyn. News shows DHEA does not improve IVF outcomes in women with diminished ovarian reserve. Reproductive endocrinologists for years have sought an elixir that would help women with low numbers of follicles produce more eggs and, hopefully, have a higher chance of a successful pregnancy. DHEA (a weak androgen sold over- ������ ������������ �����������jour for the last few years. The idea is intriguing: women with polycystic ovary syndrome have lots of follicles and higher androgen levels. Maybe women with low numbers of follicles ���������� ������������� ���androgens to promote survival of the growing follicle pool.

�������������������������� ����data to support the concept, but the ���������������������� ��������������Yes there were some miraculous-

sounding success stories reported here and there, but that wasn’t enough to prove whether DHEA works.

DHEA is not expensive and is well tolerated, so why not just take it anyway? One cause for concern is

that the proponents of the DHEA concept advocate waiting for 3-4 months while the DHEA has time to have its purported ����� ���� �����������follicle pool. If there is one thing for certain in reproductive medicine it is that

time is not on our side and delaying attempts at pregnancy to garner an ������������� ������!"#$�����risky proposition.

Now, the media has been reporting news out of the annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology, held last month in Lisbon. A randomized controlled trial – the gold standard of clinical research – demonstrated that women predicted to have a low ����������%&'������� ������ ������taking DHEA. DHEA may be just the latest in a long list of failed attempts to improve ovarian responsiveness. At the current time we still allow our patients to take DHEA, but do not strongly recommend it and also do not recommend delaying fertility treatment for months to obtain an illusory

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Medical

���������� �

By: Dr. Rashmi Kudesia

������� �� ���������

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��

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It seems as if every day there is a new report stressing the importance of sleep to our

physical and cognitive health, and exhorting people to get between seven and nine hours of sleep. In today’s hectic world, it can be challenging to give sleep the high position of priority that health professionals indicate it should have. Still, it is essential that we do so, and this is particularly true for women who are interested in becoming pregnant. Research has shown that in addition to being linked to cardiovascular problems, obesity, depression, and diabetes, the duration of our sleep may also impact fertility.

Though the published data on the correlation between sleep and reproductive function is minimal, two recent studies have supported a connection. At the 2013 Annual Meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, a Korean team

presented a study following 650 women undergoing IVF treatment. The women were divided into three groups: those who slept less than six hours per night (short sleepers); those who slept between seven and eight hours per night (moderate sleepers); and those who slept nine or more hours per night. The highest IVF success rate was

seen in those who were moderate sleepers. Long sleepers had significantly lower rates of conceiving and it appeared that short sleepers may have as well. The researchers theorized that those who slept long or short had diminished success because by sleeping outside of normal parameters, the women were disrupting the body’s circadian rhythm and potentially impacting hormone production.

Another study, conducted by a research team in the United Kingdom, took a look at reproductive research gathered over

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Medical

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR

BLOOD DRAW

EASIER

With the monitoring of your blood and stimulation med-ication injections you can start to feel like a pin cushion! 

Nobody likes having their blood drawn, and most people do not “look” while it’s being done.

If you are scheduled to have your monitoring appointment and you need a blood draw, here are some helpful hints to remember:

• In the morning before arriving in the office, drink an extra 16 ounces of water or non-caffeinated fluid.

• Wear clothing with sleeves that can be raised over the elbow.

• Keep your arms warm during cold weather to prevent your veins from constricting.

• Let the phlebotomist know if you have a preferred arm or vein that has been successful in the past.

• After your blood has been drawn, keep your arm straight and apply pressure immediately after.  If you bend at the elbow the blood will pool and cause bruising.

• Tape or a Bandaid is applied after your blood is drawn.  This can and should be removed within 20 minutes of your blood draw so you don’t have a reaction from the adhesive. �

Patty PaganucciInVia Fertility

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Humor

ou have a lot of choices here. Literally, from A-Z.

Thinking is anything from a harsh, sharp, heartbreaking reminder to see-ing the letters RE advertising real estate and thinking Reproductive En-docrinologist. Thinking is literally calling your center for an appointment, and it is also idly drawing sperm-shaped squiggles as you jot down notes during a work meeting. Thinking is unthinkingly (break your head over that paradox) tightening your belt around a non-pregnant stomach and forcing yourself to stop at the V when discussing intravenous adminis-tered to a patient.

Conservatively, how often do you think about  infertility  and fertility treatment?

Y

How Often Do You

Think About Infertility?

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A. Once a day

B. Once a week

C. Once a month

D. Once an hour

E. Once a minute

F. Every time the phone rings

G. Every Yom Tov (and Rosh Chodesh, and Erev Rosh Chodesh, and Chol Hamoed)

H. On your birthday

I. Every time you see a baby

J. Every time the sun goes down

K. At lunchtime

L. When you have a doctor’s appointment

M. When a family member or friend asks you about when you are having kids

N. When you read an article about fertility treatments or doctors

O. When you hear an ad on the radio for a fer-tility program in your area

P. When you see an ad in your local magazine or newspaper

Q. When a friend announces a pregnancy

R. When you hear from someone else that the pregnancy was announced to everyone but you

S. When you get your period. Again.

T. When you don’t get your period. Again.

U. When you are given unsolicited advice by a well-meaning (?) person regarding your fam-ily building

V. The moment you wake up

W. The moment before you go to sleep

X. When you are planning your vacation time

Y. When you are preparing a financial budget

Z. All of the above

If you answered any or some or most or even all of these questions with a resounding “Yes!” you are not alone. Obviously, these ideas came from somewhere.

So what can you accomplish by knowing how often you think about infertility?

Well for one, you can start obsessing that maybe you should obsess less about infertility, which will entitle you to include more alphabets in your checklist.

But really nothing much. However, this did occupy you for a few minutes, and well, they do say people who don’t have kids don’t have much to do with their time, so I guess that is considered an accomplishment.

So has infertility infiltrated your life?

Yes, I know. It IS your life, and everything else infiltrates infertility.

Yes, mine too. �

Checklist from www.babble.com

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it out alive. Otherwise I can’t concentrate and I am not good at connecting with Hashem. I’m going to follow this, I’m curious what other people will say…

Posted by: TzippyG Jun 30 2015, 08:38 AM

I once heard from a professional that when someone is in the stage of not being able to connect to Hashem, the worst thing one can do for themselves is to knock yourself down as to why you are this way. Connecting to Hashem has to come naturally; you can’t force it and if for any reason you’re unable to do it. Don’t punish yourself more and beat yourself up for being unable to connect. Accept your feelings of frustration and don’t focus on what you can’t. Pick up that siddur or tehillim and just hold it and tell Hashem the honest truth... that you can’t daven now! and PUT DOWN THAT tehillim, don’t hold it any longer or wait for the connection to kick in bec. it won’t!  Well, after all it’s Hashem who controls everything - even our feelings.. and this is part of our nisayon, Not being able to connect!! If you will accept yourself the way it is and TRY talking to Hashem in your own language whenever you feel to do so, things will iy’h become easier! Been there done that and being there again!! 

FORUM

Posted by: colorful Jun 29 2015, 04:26 PM

Hi all, I just read a different post about Hashem loving certain peoples’ Tefillos.... This set me thinking- r all the recent failures, disappointments… a wakeup call? Can it be because of me? Am I not calling out enough? I’ll explain- I don’t know what you’ll think of me, but I am sort of disconnected from Hashem. I find it hard to concentrate while davening, and I don’t do it every day. Usually only on Shabbos(sometimes not even) Even on days of procedures, etc. or after disappointments I find it so hard to open a siddur and connect. What can I do to change this, to strengthen my connection with Hashem? Anyone there to advise?

Posted by: luckylady Jun 29 2015, 07:44 PM

That’s a good question. I have the same problem. The only day that I remember davening and even crying was the day DH had surgery; I didn’t know if he was going to make

CONNECTION WITH HASHEM – IS HE WAITING FOR ME?

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Posted by: colorful Jul 1 2015, 02:43 AM

Thanks all for the ideas. Problem is- I find I don’t even seek the connection; like I can go through treatments and all, and forget to speak to Hashem on the way. I feel horrible writing it out so bluntly, but that’s my case. Still any help, or am I a lost case? 

Posted by: coldweather Jul 1 2015, 07:40 AM

No I can so much relate. I had that for a very long time and in a way still do - especially when things were going downhill and I was going from one bump to the next I used to cry - ‘I know that no tefillah gets lost but how come things are only getting worse?’ last week was the first spark. Third IVF cycle and we reached a blastocyst stage for the first time BH - and that woke me up a little and gave me a little more inspiration to seek the connection. It is hard. But hopefully you’ll get there.... One thing - please don’t let this break you. Sometimes all you need is just to not focus, not think - to freeze. And this is probably what you are doing now. So let it pass and hopefully once you reach the place where you hoping to be this will improve too.... Good Luck!! 

Posted by: TzippyG Jul 2 2015, 08:23 AM

First of all colorful know that you are normal... and understand that you are emotionally exhausted and you do not have the strength to think beyond anything except for what technically has to get done. Beating yourself up is not going to help, if anything it’s just going to make matters worst. Please just ACCEPT yourself for now. Hashem is purely great and holy - He knows what you are going through now and if you are not going to focus on seeking the connection and being busy with that all the time - the connection will just come! I promise you!! 

Posted by: Kayza Jul 2 2015, 08:17 PM

“Still any help, or am I a lost case?” Es iz nishtt Do kein farfalen. There is no such thing as a lost case. Perhaps it might be helpful to think about why you “forget” to speak to Hashem? 

Posted by: Believer1 Jun 30 2015, 08:57 AM

What I find may help in this situation is to talk to Hashem unedited, in your own words. Telling him that you feel frozen and how much you want to connect. Just talk to him. Slowly but surely you’ll build your relationship with Hashem and realize that he’s your very best friend and listening ear. If it’s hard to daven from a siddur, work on talking to Hashem from your heart. I find that that helps me a lot. 

Posted by: sas123 Jun 30 2015, 11:19 AM

Believer1 I tried that idea that you gave me a while ago all the time! You are right talk to Hashem unedited. It’s so hard to connect to Hashem when you just feel so burned out and do it twice a day, day in, day out, it gets very hard. Sometimes when I’m really down and crying my eyes out I would run to daven mincha then but I would just open he siddur and turn into a brick of ice. I started doing instead that when I’m crying, sobbing, hot salty bitter tears streaming down my face I would just stay where I am instead of opening a siddur and talk to Hashem with owns words telling him how hard it is for me and my exact emotions. After all he is our Totty and wants to hear us and feels our pain.... I also totally agree with TzippyG. I was once talking to a teacher of mine and telling her how it eats me up that I have such a hard time davening and she said its 100% normal and you have to accept yourself, that you can’t do it right now but it will come eventually on its own.. This is something I care about so much because it is a big struggle for me but I yearn for a strong connection with Hashem so strongly that I would love to hear more chizuk/ideas that ppl have. 

Posted by: coldweather Jul 1 2015, 01:20 AM

And what I find helps me too (although I’m far from where I wanna be), is to tell Him exactly that. To help me be able to daven better and get closer to him. I once heard, that it’s a matter of ‘living’ with Hashem, doing everything with Him - even davening ‘with’ him. It may sound weird, he said, but we say it by Shemonei Esrah - Hashem Sefusai Tiftach - open my mouth so that I can sing your praise - Daven. So I try to ask him the same thing in my own language.... 

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FORUMconnection as well.  I also tell him that while I’m waiting for Him to decide when the right time for my bigger gifts will be, I’m asking for strength. No prayer is being answered as fast as the prayer for siyata dishmaya, Divine assistance. Hatzlacha!!

Posted by: colorful Jul 5 2015, 03:27 AM

Zan Freilich-  Thanks 4 taking the time to respond. But, I must say that I don’t feel resentment or anger or frustration, only disconnected. Why? Perhaps I don’t feel my prayers are meaningful enough. I don’t feel they help me build a connection; it’s just a matter of saying the words on the pgs.,  with no feeling/ So- if something isn’t meaningful to u- you end up forgetting it, not needing it- and I agree it’s sad but this is what I’m up to-DISCONNECTED question- how can I reconnect, get the feeling that I need to turn to Hashem, that I enjoy it- and hopefully then it will come automatically????? 

Posted by: goingstrong Jul 6 2015, 10:55 AM

The thing that helped me build a relationship with Hashem most was speaking to Him all the times, for the littlest things. I always used to think it was so fake when speakers or books would say to always ask Hashem for help to make a cake, thank Him when it comes out good, etc. but tried it anyway, bec. I didn’t see any other way that was working, and slowly, very slowly, with a lot of practice I found it making a diff. in my life. When something falls and doesn’t break, my immediate reaction now is “Thank You Hashem”. When I’m looking for my keys all over and I’m gonna be late - “Please Hashem, help me find my keys.” It makes Hashem a real, tangible part of your life. Also I just heard a speaker talking about when we don’t feel like davening and one idea she mentioned was to use that time to daven for someone else.  Sometimes we’re just so burnt out of davening for ourselves, but if it’s for someone else, it might work.

Posted by: Kayza Jul 6 2015, 10:55 PM

Perhaps the answer lies in the first sentence. Is it possible that in stifling those other feelings you also stifled your

Posted by: zan frelich Jul 3 2015, 10:28 AM

Kayza pointed out a good point to ponder. Forgive me for even asking it more in detailed,  Are you forgetting to speak to Hashem or do you chose not to, because of resentment and frustration, feeling abandoned? ...and no, you are not a lost case, be reassured that many before becoming attached, had walked through this stage, and yet achieved closeness and attachment with Hashem in later stages. The thing is to start striving to reach a connection, even though it may seem far and difficult.  What helped me and still does, is remembering the master plan, Hashem has in store for me. I may be at a difficult stage to really want to see it, in such case I won’t beat myself up for the pain, frustration or anger, but I would be careful not go the resentment road, because resentment is a negative place and not very pleasant place to be.  I find a best tool that helps me survive in difficult times, is surrender. I choose to become this little girl who wants to still hold on to her father hand for reassurances, even though she was denied just recently something she wanted so much from him. It also help me to look at the little gifts Hashem sends to me from time to time; these gifts don’t just appear from nowhere; someone was looking after me and was sending them to me. I try to remember that this someone is Hashem.  When I have expectation for big things, I can easily become discouraged, (I know they may seem not so big for so many others, but I’m a grown up and realized that what I lack is something big for me). I may give my best Hishtadlut but the rest will be up to Hashem to decide. Hashem will not be angry at me if I cry from disappointments, he actually is very OK with crying; crying is another tool to get close to him.  For meanwhile, I accept my little gifts I was sent, I thank Him for them… a little effort like saying ‘Thank You’, can benefit a lot in relationships, and helps to build up a

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sense of connection? Possibly that was the only way to busy the others. I’m not saying this definitively, of course, but since you are asking about this, it would be something to explore.

Posted by: Hoping and Praying Jul 7 2015, 02:53 AM

Lately I feel like my mind is just elsewhere when I daven. I cannot concentrate, even though I know it’s good, and I always tell myself, this time, we’ll do but it’s not going... 

Posted by: zan frelich Jul 7 2015, 10:47 AM

So if it’s just that you have to work on your connection, than this should not be too hard. Please understand that by replying to your questions, it is not that I have already reached where I want to be, or this is my view out of a reached goal, rather I’m identifying with your recognized goal, and my writing to you is because, is exactly what my life goal is as well. I’ve reached a point where I understand that nothing is as important to work on, as working on being connected to our source. Thanks for letting me write it, so I can evaluate myself as well. Our mission in this world is to strive connection, and working on reaching it. Hashem masterly designed everyone with their own design of life, to master and grow. With all baggage included, life can become much sweeter, connection can be formed, if we won’t fight it, but rather work on reaching the goal through them. 

Posted by: colorful Jul 9 2015, 04:12 PM

Thanks all of u, discussing this and making me think about it has got to make an impact- hopefully! Is this calling out: Today we got another 0 sperm count result from an SA We really tried our best- staying overnight near the center, so the sample could get there quick enough,  but it wasn’t meant to be. I felt disappointment, yes I let a few tiny tears come, and in my heart told Hashem- just please be here with me... so perhaps I do connect? At least this tiny bit? 

Posted by: sas123 Jul 9 2015, 11:29 PM

That sounds so emotional colorful. Although I’m sorry for your results I am so jealous of that connection you made. It’s those small moments that make large connections. Keep on going. Pray to Him for all of us. 

Posted by: TzippyG Jul 10 2015, 12:15 PM

Sas already said it so clearly, you just see for yourself that you’re not lacking the connection because you chose to, it’s just because of your circumstances. But truly within you YOU DO HAVE a very strong connection !!!!!!!!! Good luck! 

Posted by: colorful Jul 12 2015, 01:54 AM

I guess I have connection, but not to Tefilla. I must say this thread is really causing me to be inspired and I want to add a beautiful and comforting “vort” on this topic, which dh shared with me on Shabbos: (I am not quoting exact words) The idea was that each person has his own tools, capabilities, strengths and style in serving Hashem, and he should strive to improve, but within his “boundaries”- with his abilities, and he should not strive to be like someone else!  (no- I don’t have to be like so and so that prays with so much feeling- that’s her. not me) and as long as I’m trying it doesn’t mean I’m doing less than anyone else, even if it seems on the outside that they’re more. (so if she’s inspired to cry to Hashem like a father, it doesn’t mean she’s closer than me, that’s her style, not mine and I should stop beating myself for not using her style) And I also heard long ago from a Rav- that not necessarily when you feel the connection in prayer is it the deepest connection, it can be that u feel disconnected, but u want to connect- and u connect even more than u imagine, or if u want to cry and can’t let it out- the impact it makes in shamayim can be even more than the tears which have an immeasurable strength. 

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Posted by: zan frelich Jul 12 2015, 07:53 AM

So understandable.  A 0 count - such results are so very familiar, yet I have to admit, I never got used to them, these circumstances dried me out of any drop of liveliness...

 I hope you heal soon. At the same time, it is heartwarming that you felt connected; in such times, anything we do to connect is enough. Hashem does not have big expectations from us, who better then He knows our hearts and pain. I would

FORUMhave ask you for a bracha, because no one is closer to iHm, as one who is in pain and need.  Currently, we do not have tests for counts anymore, we are done, yet we do have other tests, life is very much bunch of tests, some easier some harder but the encouraging part is, if we let ourselves to go through the stages until we reach acceptance, we don’t fight our feelings, hold on to the connection, we will be able to do it

BE”H. 

g

  Just wanted to let you know that you OP made me think a lot, and so many of the random tefilos had the connection meaning to them, I will share them as I find time. 

Posted by: fdsa Jul 15 2015, 01:32 PM

Maybe in addition to formal davening you can try singing songs in whichever language you speak – English/Yiddish that are meaningful to you?  I know I have certain songs that always make me emotional and I find myself singing/crying/davening for H’s help even if the song is not directly IF related... 

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Dearest ���������� ����������������������������������������������������!�����"�����#��������������$��%&����"��� '(

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By: Batya K.

A Million Times More

A Million Times More

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250 VISITORS PER MONTH

MEDICAL REFERRALS & RESEARCHWhen it comes to referrals to medical specialists for the infertile

couple there is no better place to turn to then A TIME. Upon

request, our staff will consult with medical specialists to assist

and educate the couples. A TIME will do the research on any

recommended treatments available to our couples.

1300 REFERRALS PER MONTH

NATIONAL CONFERENCESNationally recognized medical conferences where leaders in the

field of infertility convene for a full day program of lectures and

workshops. A TIME couples attending have the opportunity to

learn from and meet with the best in the field.

PREGNANCY LOSS SUPPORT PROGRAMImmediate contact with couples who experience a pregnancy

loss or stillbirth. Arrange with Chevra Kadisha for burials. A

TIME also offers support groups and 1 on 1 counseling. A

compassionate, supportive package including inspirational

stories, soothing music, uplifting poems, and chocolate, is sent

to ladies who experienced the loss of a pregnancy.

90 PACKETS SENT PER MONTH

QUARTERLY MAGAZINEA comprehensive and very popular magazine exclusive for A

TIME couples and for fertility centers is published 4 times a year.

Each magazine offers informative articles from medical

professionals on the advances in infertility; uplifting stories from

A TIME members sharing their experiences; lists of available

medical resources in members’ communities,

humor, inspiration, information and a readers

write column where we share letters from each

other.

4,500 ISSUES MAILED

REFUAH NETWORKInterest-free loans as well as a comprehensive

list of lending society’s providing free items and

services for our couples.

SHABBOS NEAR HOSPITAL Full accommodations for hotels, food, local information, and all

other necessities are provided for those who need to be in close

proximity to a hospital over the Sabbath or any Jewish Holiday. In

addition to the care and concern for the comfort of our members A

TIME arranges for a nurse to assist in Shabbos Courier services

when needed.

15 COUPLES PER MONTH

SUPPORT GROUPSTherapist-run workshops in person or via phone support

addressing many of the issues faceing infertile couples.

500 COUPLES IN SUPPORT GROUPS

THE COMMITTEE FOR HALACHA AND TECHNOLOGYThe committee is comprised of leading Rabbis and doctors who

train other Rabbi’s worldwide in the intricacies of infertility in

Jewish Law.

WWW.ATIME.ORGA TIME’s website, provides our couples with a plethora of

resources, including over a dozen infertility specialists who

answer questions that are both posted on message boards and

emailed to them directly; chat forums to share ideas and

experiences, medical information and emotional support

available 24 hours a day; a calendar and description of A TIME

events for the coming year.

50,000 POSTS ANNUALLY ON OUR FORUM

7,000ACTIVE

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ouom arouples frtile ceror infely fclusivxe

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LAKEWOOD R’ Yossef Greenfeld 732-364-1979R’ Avrohom Spitzer H: 732- 961-9056 R’ Moshe Zev Feldman H: 732-730-9404 R’ Yitzchok Tzvi Rubelow 732-905-1603 732-901-5079 R’ Shmuel Meir Katz 732-370-5703R’ Chanoch Saltz 732-901-0745R’ Rephael Szmerla 732-370-4858

MONROE R’ Yankel Bergstein 845-783-8589 / 845-783-7610R’ Yakov Yida Braun 845-783-8259R’ Shimel Eliezer Friedman 845-781-8170

MONSEYR’ Shimon Katz 845-426-2348

NEW SQUARER’ Yosef Yisroel Eisenberger H: 845-354-3339 / Cell: 845-304-3438

FLATBUSHR’ Benyomin Cohen H: 718-252-7243R’ Eliezer Harari 718-375-0422R’ Eliezer Sholom Heisler 718-853-1718

WILLIAMSBURGR’ Hershel Ausch 718-435-1502R’ Zisha Ausch 718-782-7809R’ Leibish Friedman 718-388-9703

R’ Usher Man 718-797-4606

R’ Chaim Aron Ungar 347-514-1516

BORO PARKR’ Binyomin Landau 718-871-2515

R’ Yitzchok Bistritsky 718-972-3549

R’ Usher Eckstein 718-972-0233

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Ehrenreich 718-853-8911

R’ Yitzchok Zalmen Gips 718-633-7905/ 718-851-1600 ext. 204

R’ Hershal Heilpren 718-435-3898 718-436-6515

R’ Burech Lederrich 718-437-0420 718-851-2706

R’ Eliezer Sternbuch 718-871-2488

R’ Pinchus Wiend 718-436-8432

CROWN HEIGHTSR’ Avrom Bergstein 718-839-5296

CHICAGOR’ Shmuel Fuerst 773-539-4241

FAR ROCKAWAYR’ Binyomin Forst 718-337-6890

QUEENSR’ Hershel Welcher 718-268-1147

Available to you exclusively through A TIME, the Institute of Halacha and Technology provides complete Rabbinical guidance to all who seek advice and authority on issues pertaining to gynecology, reproductive medicine, high-risk obstetrics and related medical

procedures. Under the auspices of Rabbi Binyomin Landau, Rabbi Ausch, Rabbi Shmuel Fuerst and Rabbi Shmuel Meyer Katz, a team of the most knowledgeable and distinguished Rabbonim have been trained by leading medical professionals to answer questions in halacha involving the most cutting edge advances in modern medicine.

Rabbinical GuidanceInstitute of Halacha and Technology

A project of A TIME

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California

Encino Farzaneh Tabibian, RN (818) 906-8586 NF

Los Angeles Mimi Andrusier, RN (323) 219-7731 NF

Sacramento Judy Weinstein, RN (917) 488-3603 NF

Valley Village Renee Mazlin, RN (818) 508-6311 NF

Valley Village Yael Rosenthal, RN (818) 505-0247 NF

Florida

Boca Raton Yehudis Kaplan-Finman, CNM (305) 731-3890 FEE

Illinois

Chicago Chaya Siegel, RN (773) 761-1631 / (773) 620-6139 NF

Chicago Bina Simon, RN (773) 508-6841 NF

Skokie Julie Feinberg, RN (847) 682-4649 NF

Skokie Beth Schwartz, RN (847) 674-6018

Maryland

Baltimore Jenny Fogel, PA (410) 764-1082

Baltimore Laura Guttman, RN (410) 358-0412

Baltimore Elizabeth Loeb, MD (410) 358-7706

Baltimore Evelyn Shnier, RN (410) 358-7532

Baltimore Esther Tendler, RN (410) 484-9438 / (443) 386-5210 NF

Silver Springs Chani Feldman, RN (301) 452-8693 NF

Silver Springs Yocheved Mizel, RN (917) 428-1086 NF

Michigan:

Southfield Debby Kaplan, RN (248) 552-9254 NF

Missouri

St. Louis Chava Weinman, RN (314) 862-3358 NF

New Jersey

Bergenfield Leah Kramer, RN (201) 384-3094 NF

Deal Dina Grazzi, RN Cell:(732) 809-7777 NF

Edison/Highland Park Aviva Erps, RN Cell:(347) 563-3661 NF

Englewood Stefanie Schwartz, RN (201) 816-8396 NF

Fair Lawn Naomi Nussbaum, RN (347) 439-4244 / (201) 791-7991 NF

Lakewood Chaya Bodner, RN (732) 367-0044 NF

Lakewood Esty Caplan, RN (732) 367-5415 NF

Lakewood Rivkah Charloff (732) 370-3524 NF

Lakewood Bracha Cohn, RN (732) 370-7622 NF

Lakewood Shoshana Diamond, RN (412) 414-6619 NF

Lakewood Chani Friedman, RN (732) 267-7704

Lakewood Alanna Fayazi, RN (732) 905-9110

Lakewood Michal Brull, CPT (732) 886-3238/(732) 552-8954 NF

Lakewood Baila Geltzehler, RN (732) 439-0309 NF

Lakewood Esther Greenspan, RN (732) 363-4108/(347) 449-3178

Lakewood Esty Horowitz (718) 578-1996 (732) 363-8476 NF

Lakewood Penina Danziger, RN (848) 525-4993 NF

Lakewood Varonica Rizzi (732) 364-7770 X5 FEE

Lakewood Tziporah Joseph, RN (732) 363-5883 NF

Lakewood Ahuva Kleinman, RN (732) 901-7350 NF

Lakewood Esther Pernikoff, RN (732) 901-4412

Lakewood Chana Tropper,RN (732) 730-0808 NF

Lakewood Libby Weiss,RN (732) 961 9893 NF

Long Branch Jacqueline Gemal, RN (732) 829 3172

PASSAIC Shalva Hirsch, RN (973) 202-8969 NF

Passaic Sarah Schiffman, RN (973) 472-0365 NF

Teaneck Rachel Abraham, RN 201-575-1432 NF

Teaneck Lisa Rothschild, RN (201) 692-0323 / (917) 443-6739 NF

Teaneck L’Via Weisinger, RN (201) 801-0784 NF

Teaneck Rachel Yolkut, RN, BSN (201) 357-5874 Fee

West Orange Dina Goldstein, RN (973) 325-1812 NF

Westgate Ella Rachel Mann, RN (732) 370-5687 NF

NEW YORK:

Bronx: Bronx Linda Torres, RN (718) 513-0116 Fee (A/S)

Riverdale Sarah Adelson, RN (718) 796-8850/(917) 442-4545 NF

Riverdale Stephene Bellin, RN (718) 548-1894 Fee

Riverdale Sandra Goodman, NP (718) 543-6809 NF

Yonkers Rina Ginat, RN (914) 562-4433 NF

Brooklyn: Bensonhurst Dina Lapp, RN (718) 837-2970 Fee

Boro Park Janie Friedman, RN (718) 436-9847 NF

Boro Park Gary Guttman (917) 701-5900 Fee

Boro Park Miriam Herman, RN (347) 496-1155 NF

Boro Park Pilar Morales, RN (718) 309-3007 Fee (A/S)

Boro Park Rechy Moseson RN (347) 831-7433

Boro Park Shulamis Nove (718) 972-4263 NF

Boro Park Simi Phillip PA (718) 724-9944 NF

Boro Park Laurana Sapolla, RN (646)358-7362/(718)331-5991 Fee (A/S)

Boro Park Leah Sprei, CMA (718) 252-0305 NF

Boro Park Barbara Sundak, RN (718) 859-7340 Fee (A/S)

Boro Park Draizy Wald, PA (917) 754-7754 NF

Boro Park Shevy Serhofer, RN (718) 810-8222 NF

Canarsie Penny Peterson/Monroe,RN (917) 757-9055 Fee (A/S)

Crown Heights Channie Akerman, RN (718) 756-0781 / leave message Fee

Crown Heights Tzipora Clapman, RN (718) 774-9313 Call 8:30AM or 5:00pm

Crown Heights Chayenka Silberstein (347)406-4975 / (718)-778-7935 NF

Crown Heights Esty Slavin, PAC (718) 774-1843

Mnhtn Beach/Flatbush Adina Erez, PA (917) 334-4134

Flatbush Chany Bodenstein, RN (917) 496-3188 / please text NF

Marine Park Sarah Goldman, RN (718) 216-6812 NF

Flatbush Chava Kaplowitz, RN (718) 338-5080 NF

Flatbush Elisa(kautcher) Hurewitz (718) 336-0136 NF

Flatbush Chava Levy, RN (718) 998-4939 FEE

Flatbush Judy Lustig, RN (718) 998-2391 NF

Flatbush Cindy Melamed, PA (917) 445-3015 NF

Flatbush Elanna Posner, RN (917) 216-6445 Fee

Flatbush Leat Romano, RN (917) 331-7373 NF

Flatbush Shalva Shashitsky, RN (718) 645-7934 NF (D/O)

Flatbush Esty Baida (718) 954-6333 NF

Flatbush Baila Horowitz (347) 419-3006 NF

Flatbush Rachel Halpert RN (917) 860-1634 NF

Kensington Marina Dukhan, DO (718) 284-2264 NF

Kensington Tirtzah Karuszyner, RN (347) 512-9511 Fee

Sea Gate Chany Kimelfeld, RN (718) 372-1115 NF

Williamsburg Chaya S. Franczoz, RN (718) 625-1223 NF

Long Island Valley stream Rosa Fernandez, RN (347) 495-1126 Fee (A/S)

Cedarhurst Toni Dittus, RN (516) 612-2160 NF

Great Neck Betty Bandary, RN (516) 773-6174 NF

Great Neck Orly Steinberg, RN (516) 567 8221 FEE

Lawrence Rivky Fischer, CNA,CPT (516) 239-0219 NF

Lawrence Dr. Mermelstein (516) 371-9594

Woodmere Alyssa Sacks RN (917) 670-0390 NF

West Hempstead Audrey Davidowitz, MD (516) 486-0454 NF

NursesSpecialty nurses provided by A TIME are available to administer injections when necessary. As a member,

you are welcome to make use of this inimitable service.The following nurses are available to give injections:

State city Name phone Fee State city Name phone Fee

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We are currently updating the names on our Labor/tehillim packet.

Since there are many distinguished Rabbonim who advocate reciting Tehillim for others whilst in the throes of childbirth, among ���������� �������������������������������������������������� ��������������������������������������������������������� �������������!��������������� �������������������������"� �#����$�%������������&'()����������������� ����������doulas as well as expectant couples (upon request). If you would like to be on this list please contact A Time:

Email: [email protected] • Call: 718-686-8912 ext. 200 • Fax: 718-686-8927

Please make sure to include the following information:

��� �� ���3�4���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������5�������;�����<�

=�����"�������=� �������������������������������������������������������������������������������%��"�������=� �������Please make sure the spelling is correct.

Please note, we only accept names given by the individual couples and only the Tehillim names are printed.

Manhattan: Cindy Melamed, PA (917) 445-3015 NF

Arielle Siegel, RN (516) 695-9744 NF

Upper West Side Fabiene Rottenberg, DPM (212) 724-4457 NF

Upper West Side Shevy Serhofer, RN (718) 810-8222 NF

Upper West Side Shira Westreich, RN (212) 595-5122 NF

Washington Heights Aliza Feit, RN (917) 521-2262 NF

Washington Heights Sharon Sommer, RN (212) 781-4216

Monroe: Vickie Nowosielski, RN (917) 743-3507 Fee (A/S)

Dorothy Prey, RN (845) 928-6296 Fee (A/S)

Eileen Grimes, RN (845) 928- 8269

Monsey: Chaya Back, RN (732) 267-3988 NF

Nechama Abou, RN (845) 352-0117

Sherry Broidy, RN (845) 928-3391 Fee

Samuel Feder (845) 362-6080

Brocha Lichtenstein, RNC (845) 356-0939 NF (D/O)

Leah Lichstein, RN (845) 362-0990 NF

Leah Webster (845) 642-4333

Goldy Malek (845) 323-7718 NF

Yossi Malek (845) 323-7717 NF

Miriam Schiffer, RN (845) 918-1708 / (914) 419-2894 NF

Malka Weinstein, RN (845) 362-0288 NF (D/O)

S. Monsey, Airmont Chaya Becker, RPA (845) 352-0969

Spring Valley Blimy Brill (845) 354-1211 / (845) 558-1447 NF

Spring Valley Yehudis Reichman, RN (845) 354-0682 / (845) 499-5216 NF

Spring Valley Chevy Ungar (845) 729-8474

Wesley Hills Wendy Schindler, RN (845) 354-6536

Queens: Far Rockaway Rena Gordon, RN (718) 471-8985 NF

Far Rockaway Esty Klein, RPAC (718) 501-3860 NF

Far Rockaway Rochel Lieberman, CM Pager (718) 206-6081 #16460 NF

Far Rockaway Faigy Singer, RN (718) 868-3935 NF

Far Rockaway Yehudis Brown, RN, BSN (410) 522-8879

Far Rockaway Sarah Schechter, RN (718) 327-3250 NF

Far Rockaway Avigail Weiss, RN (917) 841-8693 NF

Flushing Anat Benjamin, MD (718) 539-7736 / (917)224-8487 NF

Flushing Yael Kluyov, RN (646) 881-3111

Flushing Miriam R. Heimowitz, RN (718) 261-4373

Flushing Ruty Koenig, RPAC (718) 793-9666 NF

Jamaica Esther Natanov, RN H: (718) 380-9730 / W: (718) 283-6587 Fee

Woodside Vahida Gilic, RN (718) 578-7944

Kew Gardens Irina Aronova, RN (718) 544-0367 Fee

Kew Gardens Sheva Turk, RN (718) 263-6521 NF

Kew Gardens Esther roman (718) 487-3754 NF

Kew Gardens Adina Berger, RN (845) 659-5108 NF

Staten Island: Marcia Brathwaitte, RN (917) 841-5273 Fee (A/S)

Arlene Jacobson, RN (718) 983-0138 NF

Esther Kay, RN (718) 370-3515

Ohio:

Cleveland Heights Aviva Kupfer, RN (216) 932-8933 NF

Cleveland Heights Leah Kushner, RN (216) 371-1265 NF

Columbus Aliza Feingold, RN (614) 239-6356 NF

CANADA:

Montreal Mrs. Demercur, RN (514) 739-1462 NF

Montreal Faigy Hershkowitz, RN (514) 341-6399 Fee

Montreal Flora Sasportas, RN (514) 735-8145

Toronto Aldith Baker, RN (416) 667-1276 Fee

Toronto Ruby Bailey, RN (905) 470-7379 Fee

Toronto Fay Conville, RN (905) 727-6207 Fee

Toronto Eve Gallingan, RN (416) 787-5154 Fee

Toronto Chavie Kestenbaum, RN (416) 787-0067

Toronto Joanne Lang, RN (416) 783-8782

Toronto Elisheva Lightstone, RN (416) 256-0470

Toronto Malky Meckler, RN (416) 789-0893

Toronto Rachel Ohayon, RN (416) 781-1218

Toronto Rochel Travis, RN (416) 631-9409

ENGLAND:

London A TIME England office 020-8800-2153 / email: [email protected]

If a nurse is needed on Shabbos, call Chaya at 718-258-5002 or Vivienne at 917-783-9514

A/S=Available Shabbos, D/O =Doctor’s Order, NF=No Fee

If you know of any other nurses who would be willing to provide this crucial service, especially in neighborhoods not yet covered, please let us know. And many, many thanks to all those listed above. A TIME is not responsible for any treatments administered by any of the Nurses or

Nurse Practitioners listed herein. Nothing herein constitutes medical advice and all readers are recommended to consult their physician.

For More Information, Please Call (718) 686-8912 ext. 202

Dedicated to the Memory of Charlie Weiss������������ ���������

State city Name phone Fee State city Name phone Fee

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[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

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A TIME Library InformationBoro ParkA TIME Library and Conference Center1310 48th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11219Monday-Thursday 9:00 AM-5:00 PM Appointments are available at other times. Call Shaindy: (718) 686-8912 extension [email protected]

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