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Says ‘Margaret Thatcher was the best thing that happened to this country.’ Wear to Party Conference, Election Night A Politician’s Guide to: Ties So, you’re an MP. Well done. Now remember, your tie is one of the most important weapons in your opinion-poll conquering arsenal. It is vital you learn how to maximise its effectiveness as a subliminal communication device. This helpful guide will teach you all the basics. www.bemakeshift.com 2010 Says ‘I’m still Old Labour really.’ Wear to Party Conference, Election Night Says ‘Coalition? Us? You must be kidding.’ Wear to Party Conference, Election Night Says (Tory-lite) ‘Haven’t you heard? We‘re not evil anymore.’ Wear to TV Debates Press Launches Says ‘Leftwing, sure. But in a mature, unscary way’ Wear to Rallies State Events Says ‘Lib Dem, yes. But less naff.’ Wear to TV Debates Rallies Says ‘I agree with Nick’ / ‘Get how hip we are.’ Wear to Visit new Cultural Industries Quarters Says ‘We’re properly down wiv da masses, yeh?‘ Wear to Anywhere with cameras and poor people. Says (Regal) ‘Of course I’m meant to be the leader... Idiot.’ Wear to PMQs State Events Says ‘Fiscal responsibility’ Wear to Budget Day Speeches TV Debates Says ‘Conservative but with a small ‘c’.’ Wear to Coalition talks NB Never in the north. Says ‘Progressive.’ Wear to Press Launches PMQs NB Never in the south. Says ‘We can do anything the tories can do.. better.’ Wear to PMQs Press Launches Says ‘Vote Blue, Go Green. Honest.’ Wear to Budget Day Coalition talks Says ‘We could lead. Really we could. Please?’ Wear to Paxman Interviews In the statistically unlikely event of you being female, don’t worry. All of the above principles can be applied to incongruously bright trouser-suits.
